Register for workshop on "Break the trauma bond with a Narcissist" www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/eventbtb

How do you defeat a narcissist without fighting them? 1. Leave 2. Get as far away as possible 3. GO NO CONTACT I know not everyone can leave, but those who can, should RUN!!

Be aware that the covert narc will assume the position of victim. Don't fall for it. I'm in the habit of saying, "You're not a victim", and walking away.

So basically a narcissist is a demon

1) Indifference 2) Strong boundaries 3) No-contact 4) Knowing when to butt in - calling them out. 5) Knowing when to back off - speak the truth and move on (physically and emotionally).

JUST GO NO CONTACT....THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW......THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.

There’s one thing I’ve learned about narcissist over the years is that they’re overgrown children basically children in adult bodies real talk

They hate the truth

Overall life is hell with narc

Defeating the Narc seems a lot like Thermal Nuclear War, “The only winning move is not to play”

Explaining yourself leads you into their trap of mental conditioning. Then your words are never enough and lose all value. Is a terrible side affect.

From 6 years now in learning...No contact and No explaining yourself. Never answer their questions and move on! PS...Never go back!

My go-to responses: "I am not going to get caught up in a circular argument with you," , "You are entitled to your opinion, but I am not entitled to your opinion." and "You have every right to speak your mind, but I don't have to hear it." Then, I walk away-smiling to myself.😊

I am still alive because of YOU. Just want to thank you for taking care of us, through your video's ❤

Danish. You have been a saviour for plenty of those people who had no idea what they were going through or what led them to their diminished state of mind and body after a narc abuse for years. We thank you. Keep on coming with the great work..👍

Danish, you're exactly right. I actually did it without knowing the right tools to do it. He knows now that he can't defeat me. Every move he makes, I dose him with the right words. He knows now that he can't manipulate me. I can predict when he's in the mood to pick on me. His face turns black, and his eyes look like an owl. I asked him what's wrong with you? You look like an owl ready to prey. He was stunned and replied back, "What are you talking about? I told him to go to the mirror and check for yourself. His demeanor changed. Whatever he's thinking was aborted. I became a shrink. 😂

They are terrible. I have a narc sister. Damaged doesn’t begin to describe her crazy. I went no contact. Best thing I’ve ever done.

Imagine coming home after a long day’s work everyday and turning into an investigative journalist just to get evidence instead of getting massaged, eating and sleeping

They feed with every emotions ,they love fear that gives them more power

I pat my back for dealing with a narcissistic husband for 30 years......couldn't separate for kids and source of livelihood....I pray to the higher power .. God my savior. ..he's powerful professionally and socially and threatens me regularly.

Just simply living becomes very complex with a narcissist

I was married into a relationship for almost 12 years before I even knew what a narcissist was. I can say that I recommend if anyone is on that type of relationship they should get out. Get away from them as far as you can, fast as you can and leave whatever you have to behind. Never look back and protect your children at any cost. They will most likely be used as a target for payback otherwise. It is a dangerous game and the narcissist enjoys it far most than you will. There is a lot of damage left to clean up after the break for all involved. It is better to break sooner than later. Know matter how broken they seem or how many promises aka lies look away and never believe them. It's sad especially when you love the person but they do/can not love in return. They hate anything that reminds them of you and if they can not turn a person against you, they will hate them also. Even if it's their own child. It's a sick and miserable life and the damage is very hard to overcome.

Excellent advice. I did these things ice cold without emotion. No argueing, no retaliation or name calling, if you get upset...be upset with yourself for allowing the narc to get under your skin

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

Always remember every narc works from an identical unwritten script. Learn what that script is and you can stop them from using it. Then you've got them.

Sir, i bow to you🙏. Being tossed around mentally in every possible way by the narc , having to deal with him for 20yrs, now i understand all the trauma i went thru, the questions i repeatedly asked myself, seeing the same pattern and not understanding what was going on, i was just soul , body and mind exhausted and gave up. Now through your videos i have peace of mind, clarity and answers. I now know how to handle myself so that i can still be there for the sake of my kids in this relationship but being more STRONG.I believe God made me find your videos.

That's true.They will make feel like you are insane.

Go DEEP with a narcissist. Don't Defend, Explain, Engage or Personalize.

Shouldn't you walk away if someone is screaming at you. Its damaging to absorb abuse.

I have been in an extreme difficult situation for the last 2 years with a narcissist and I am realizing that becasue of my childhood trauma, I did not know when to back off after telling or exposing them. He got angrier and made a lot of lies about me and I kept responding to defent myslef and it literally took my health and my sanity. I learned however that my reactions were unhealthy and I had to know when to back off. I am not blaming myself but I know that as a survivor of complex ptsd, I have developped coping mechanism which are not healthy and I have to work on how i handle triggers or narcissists.

If you are constantly negative, people forget about you. Negative thinking is zero-sum-game thinking. Zero-sum games are they win/you lose games. Compromise is a useful art. Like Danish says, "Everything is a transaction with these people." - I dislike saying it - they are losers. And if you must be subordinate to them, what does it make you? Very much in a bad situation and only you can get yourself out if it. I like to call it the "super ball effect" when you escape. It really does outweigh any perceived negatives you nay have anout "abandoning" "Helpless". It is not that you simply leave in the normal sense. No, you escape and get gone. Do not disclose your location. It is a dangerous time! Be careful. Have copies of keys and important documents in an overnight bag stashed somewhere.

Don’t engage at all! Do not react! It works! Do not take offense and do not defend yourself! Thats right!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏 They will warp anything you say! Ice cold is right, as hard as it is.

Depends On your definition of winning, because simply getting away from them without being harmed is a win!

Normal folks think, well when she/he comes to their senses they will see they are wrong and apologize. That will never happen with a narcissist.

Going to court with a narcissist?? LISTEN TO THIS!! You provide such clear instruction on how to handle a narcissist in the court system. I have been doing this for 15 years and only in the last 5 did I get smart about it. My daughter’s father is a vulnerable narcissist. Your insistence on objectivity and pointing out behaviors and examples of them is SO much stronger and smarter than calling them a narcissist in front of those at the court. Don’t tell, show. Power stuff!

I was very little as a kid when i started doing this, without no one told me. It is so sad to imagine a little me trying everyday to deal with my mom and her changes of behavior. I was so exhausted, so much...i am so glad i could move out because the pain and the feeling of emptiness was killing me, she was killing me. Having both narcissistic parents is very hard, at least my dad was away getting drank and not abusing me too.

You are always right Danish. Do what I did. Get an apartment in the same building and move next-door away. Let them visit when you invite them.

If only there had been youtube when I was married. It would have saved me so much time, effort and sadness. I spent decades wondering what was wrong with me. I couldn't be right no matter how I tried. I could never be good enough no matter how I tried. I honestly was emotionally and mentally dead for so many years. At least now I can understand what, or who, I was dealing with. At least I know now that none of it was my fault. I don't think I will ever completely heal or be able to forgive what he did to me. Thank you for these videos. They are so helpful for understanding wtf was happening in my life.

I am saving this video to watch again! My last phone call ended with being told everything I say he did and said never happened. Thats when I said he was right. He asked what I meant. I simply repeated what he had said. This isn’t going to work. Hung up. No contact is my peace. I’ve documented, saved texts, voice mails and the bills he denies he ran up. I walked away returning to my safe space and took care of me. Mr. Bashir wish I’d had your help 5 months ago. I’m one day at a time farther into my life again. 🙏🏼

I did that with my counselor. He stopped me. Asked me to give examples. He then told me that I was married to a psychopath. Yes I knew that. That was why I carefully planned my escape.

It ain’t easy, they’re masters of their own dissonance in those situations but you can own your own opinion and response.

You can win without fighting.

Danish bhai u r a gem .far better thn professional therapists.U should have obtained a phd on the subject.UR presentation skills and emphasiaing on words to ponder over is remarakable .May God alimghty and his countless blessings be with u always.

Going no contact is very hard when you have kids together. It feels like constant HELL!

So true Sir. These egoistic psychopaths are utterly immoral, uncompassionate embodiment of Evil. Those are slimiest creatures, who use their logic only to hurt and get away with it. In fighting them, we are entitled to rip apart their weaknesses and make them face their own abyss. For their fear the truth, they fear their own monstrosity coming for them.

They're giving you a confession: So true. In an organization, I had to work with this narcissistic woman. She ended up sending me an email, cc to a supervisor who she already manipulated. The letter clearly showed a bunch of narcissistic turds; The idealized self image, the rationalization she used to have no accountability whatsoever, gaslighting lies, and a bunch of accusations that looked like clichés which she did not substantiate, but I could substantiate how she did all those things herself! Supervisor wouldn't hear me but did want to keep me for the organization, which he described as a "kind of family", and came up with a "function elsewhere". Having boundaries can also mean having boundaries for myself and not crossing them. I won't do anything in an organization where I can't trust that I'll be heard when there's a problem. I'll accept no leadership whatsoever from a supervisor who gives his personal interests a higher priority than the responsibilities of his position. Let 'em eat their own stinkin' shit, it's their loss.

I have let the narc I am dealing with know that I DO KNOW that she is a thief but I do not confront nor say this outright nor directly............I do not say it outright because she will scream and go crazy...so.....what I have done is.......I act innocent while asking questions, in one particular recent instance because I know how she has stolen a car and several thousand $$$ from our dead roommate instead of giving it to his son or wife (he was separated but not divorced) I merely asked ("innocently"), "Oh so is his son coming to get the car?" (*bats eyes innocently) and she went total silent........stuttering and stammering a response of, "oh, uh, well, it's ah, he can't just come here, he lives too far away"....(she was in total shock I would even know to ask that, like I was stupid) and so I merely (*again, innocently), asked, in a sweet voice, "but all he has to do is take a bus and then drive the car back, right?" and again, she (obviously freaked out that I would know the son would inherit all the dead roommate left here) and she stammered, and acted like that would be "impossible for him to do that" so I countered with, "oh, so you could then SELL the car and send him the cash, right?" and she was totally shocked/silent and so freaked out I would act like I KNOW it's the son's rightful inheritance (since his dad died) and she was keeping the car (and his cash savings) all for herself. how I found out about the $$$$$ in CASH is she slipped and told me the dead roommate had been saving ALL his money to move to Hawaii and (it probably totaled 40-60 THOUSAND in cash at least) and he had been stashing it into an envelope when he died....he had no bank account.....AND she forged his last 4 paychecks when he was laying comatose in the hospital *because as he was dying, she blurted out to me in frustration, "I can't get him to sign his last 4 paychecks!" and because he never became conscious again, I KNOW SHE FORGED HIS SIGNATURE and put them into her own account as he never had a bank account. she is so stupid but I DO know. I think this is why she doesn't push me too far although she does constantly do the SILENT TREATMENT like I do not exist to freeze me out (I am renting in her house) and so pretends I do not exist. this is to make me feel BAD. this is her favorite ploy but since I DO KNOW this is all she does to make me capitulate and to fawn and to be nice to her, I merely ignore it and I always THINK AHEAD OF HER. I also do periodically plant pieces of paper in the trash as she digs thru it to find out anything she can about me and to know what I am doing (I know, pathetic but I know for sure that she does this) so I PLANT stuff so she can find it - like she now has "secret info" on me. But I do this to keep her off my back and calmed down like "she secretly knows about me" all the while I am working on myself to GET OUT AS SOON AS I CAN.........I am praying and watching these videos to stay sane and also I do believe narcs are controlled by the dark side so I call on God to protect me and to guide me on healing so I can get out of this nightmare. sorry this comment is so long, hope this share helps someone, I got to vent, no one I know understands or cares about narcissism so this is my "go to" to stay sane, so thank you, Danish......God wins in the end, so I just need to heal and do my part...

Thank you, Danish. Thank you for what you do. Thank you

You made me laugh when you used "the wet noodle" analogy. Very good 👍😊❤️

Thank you so much Danish 🌹🙏 God bless you always

You are absolutely right danish when i became neutral, giving no reactions, giving no emotions my husband got angry and started teasing me so that i could start a fight but i didn't give him a chance to be satisfied in this way ☺ how people can be so cruel? 😕

Everything you said is truth, I am going thru being denied access to my 2 beautiful grankids, I've healed much ..but have been left broken

That’s interesting, Danish, to take what they are saying as a confession of their wrong doings. Thanks for making your videos.

Sounds so similar to how you train a dog - praise & reward the good behavior (which is hard b/c it's SO RARE!)

After being accused of all sorts of narc traits by mu narc Boss I told her she’s projecting one me. Boy did she shut up fast!

They don't want you to get attention from other people.... 😂😂

This is fantastic thank you. Just a fun fact… pigs in fact do not enjoy being wrestled, and do not enjoy getting dirty. Narcissists do. Pigs are very under rated and significantly smarter than narcissists :)

Truth skillfully explained

After the narcissist I was with beat me, I left him as soon as he was busy away from the house. We lived in an area he was unfamiliar with. I answered one phone call from him one month later. He started out saying we could be friends then it went to, everything would have been fine if you hadn't made me beat you up, I told him wrong and hung up. Praise God I'm free.

Very insightful ❤. Sigh I wish I had your advice 10 years ago. I’m losing in court- judges DONT care & NO ONE enforces any of their own Orders. It’s a joke

Thanks for these videos, Danish!

I lived with a narcissistic wife for 35 years and she did and tried everything that you have said in your video. Everything. I learned years ago what a narcissistic person was and her whole family is narcissistic. It's really genetic. Her father and mother and all 4 siblings are narcissistic. Family get together were a nightmare. I never told her or anyone in her family that I, my father and sister have an idolic memory. We all three have photographic memory's. I remember every conversation that I've ever had with her and her family. My son is the same as me and I told him to 'NEVER' tell anyone in his mother's family. Just concentrate on remembering everything and every conversation that you have with them. I not only remember everything I've read but everything I hear and see also. Dad and sisters memory were only in the reading part. I did as my father suggested, I've never told anyone, except you. I have used my perfect recollection in discussions with her relatives, mainly to stump their narcissistic problems. I've read the Bible in English, Latin, ancient Greek and in the Agnostic form. I used that in a 'Discussion' once to shut down their narcissism about a biblical discussions that they drug me into. That's as far as I went. I was never involved in another 'biblical discussion' again. I wonder why. Still I never even let them know about my ability. Being that my father was a Nuclear physist, sis was a genetic researcher who, and I have 4 degrees in Computer research and biometric design. I told no one, ever, except my parents, all deceased. My life with a whole family of narcissistic family on my wife's side was a nightmare. At this point, 10 years after our divorce, she still bad-mouths my family without knowing the truth about them. No one in my family was or is a narcissist. None. I really didn't know what a narcissistic person was. Dad did. He got down on his knees and begged me not to marry her after he met her parents. I should have listened.

Wow that was HARD to listen to! Some good insights and a great reminder of what you left and why you should NEVER be seduced back! 🤦🏾‍♀️

I had a very good friend - who seemed normal but after a few months I started getting some strange signals. He asks me for films or lunch but hardly talks and constantly keeps busy on the phone. I feel very humiliated. Even when there are common friends he ignores me completely and talks, jokes with them - I start to feel insecure. While all my friends value my presence for him I'm just another option. After talking every way I could not make him understand my pov and ultimately I stopped all communication with him and am in peace 😊

Only way to deal with a true narcissist is to stop all communications. I know. I've been through 20 years of narcissistic abuse... 6 years married, then continued abuse after that cause we have children together. Fking finally, about 6 months ago, i was truly fking done. After literally 15 years not being together, and he still ruled my life emotionally, I finally had the strength to say never again. I had always invited him to holidays at my house for my sons... he had continued to be so abusive emotionally (he cant physically anymore). He made the entire holiday celebration only about him... IN MY FKIN HOUSE. He did one last thing that completely made me realize he will never change. Now I can truly focus on healing.

i Love the way you SAID PIGS for the NPD

Thank you, thank you like always, dear Darnish, Video is amazing and amazing, but actually all your videos are amazing. GOD BLESS YOU bunches and bunches always. From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA

That was very clear and helpful. Organizing what he does helps me get out of confusion because he keeps me in the state of hypervigilence exactly as you say. I can’t think and revert to yelling at him I am so frustrated. Even with the facts, it’s impossible to get him to acknowledge his behavior. He’s been so awful to me that just seeing me triggers his reaction, I think to self loathing. I don’t think he even knows why he does what he does but not willing to look at any of it. Thank you,❤

Once I stopped arguing back the next thing was it being hard not to try to justify or explain myself. I have to deal with a narcissist elderly mother. What I am trying to do to improve things is 1. lower contact even more. Keep it brief. 2. Do not as far as possible speak about myself. Let them chatter in, encourage their boring monologues. 3. Keep aware when interacting. Relaxed vigilance as Danish says.

Thank you, Danish, for your suggestions on organizing evidence about each type of destructive, manipulative and deceptive behavior. Seems useful, protective and grounding.

Dear Danish, My father is a narcissist and I'm currently having to deal with a messy family business rift. Your videos and words are extremely helpful. Thank you for all you are sharing.

Thank you , that was so deep

Love this, thank you fam

Thank you so much for this 😢🙏

I did this. I worked my way out from home for my college abroad and then never looked back.

100% Accurate!! Thanks for posting.

Wow!! Thankyou!!❤

Thank you, brother!

Thank you so much...always❤

GREAT VIDEO!!!!

Thanks for your advises and well-explained techniques on how to deal with narcissists. This video would help us, victims of narcissistic abuse on our healing journey. ❤

This one is outstanding +++ and most useful. I am going to save this one. Plan on taking notes and using it to help me in court opposing my narc sister. Also plan to use these strategies to deal with the covert narc I am working with. Thank you.

My husband have all this treats as narcissist I run from him now I have my peace of mind 😊😊

Thank you 👏🏾

Love this. Spot on!

Thank you Danish.

Well said thanks for posting good idea 👊👊👊👊💪💪💪💪

Thanks!

I loved this episode! Hearing examples of how I should respond to a narc is SO helpful. I have repeated these responses over and over and over until they come easily. I practice being emotionless and I am working on being transactional-- I don't give anything away for nothing. Thank-you, Danish! Also, I appreciated knowing why I get drowsy after taking caffeine. That episode finally solved that mystery!

Excellent tips, thank you SO much 🙏

Thank you i need this so much right now xxx

Excellent! Thank you for sharing this!

Thank You.

Thank you so much 🙏 I really need this 😢

Thanks Danish- another valuable informative video about how to make conscious choices when dealing with NPD people especially those we cannot get away from by going far away or going no contact. Regular Humans can work with people with mental issues. Only God can work with narcissists who have very demonic SOUL issues. May god be with us all and salvage the narcissistic souls so world can be a better place

This is very useful, thank you so much

Beautiful advice

Wow! I just found your channel. You are amazing! Subscribed 🎉

Thank you ❤

thank you very much Danish