You're the only KZfaqr whose videos I watch right away. Your tips are always relevant and you have such a clear way of explaining. No one does it like you. Thank you for yet another great video!

"micromanaging the reader's imagination" ... solid gold

My favorite other-sensory description of hot weather is from the first page of We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Haeberlin: "The heat's so bad out here the crickets are screaming for grace."

In the first example, i think I'd have described it as something like: Ahead lay soft, rolling grass hills against a backdrop of autumn-coloured forest and far-off blue mountains. On the left, a small village with tile and straw roofs huddled against the thin evening mist. Something simple like that will give them a fairly clear scene, but they can add the exact details themselves. They'll do that anyway, regardless of how exactly you describe things, or not. Also, one should try to describe more important things in higher detail than unimportant things. :) That's my experience, anyway.

I love that you have examples. It's much easier to know what people are talking about when you can see examples. :)

When I write, I try to vary how much I describe depending on the scene or the moment. Like, in an action scene, I won't give too much details, just the basics, maybe focus more on movement and feelings, while in the beginning of a scene, before things have really taken off, or a character enters a new location for the first time, I'll put more time into describing the look of the place. However, if a place is visited many times, I won't describe it every time, just remind people that hey, it's the cellar again, with the blue box, remember? Ok, good. :p Sort of. :)

One of my biggest description writing quirks is overusing THE. “THE chair was red. THE cushions were old. THE room…” Awesome video!

And this is why I frequently recommend to Kindle authors that they need to spend the money to hire not only a competent proofreader, but a professional editor! Passing freshman English is also a prerequisite. Thanks.

Amazing advice. I LOLd at "medium-sized eyes"

You, Ellen Brock, are an island in the sea of countless writing tips videos. This is the way my brain needed to hear this information. Thank you for this!

Found you a few days ago and there are so many things I like about your presentations having to do with writing: straightforward, smart without being fussy, common sense and likeability with nothing to prove. Among the best compliments I can provide is to say that if I were in the position to further your audience, I would. You've got a specialness and I thank you for your work.

Thank you for this video, I’m one of those people who tends to under-describe, partly because the idea in my head is so clear that I forget to actually write it in a way other people can understand, partly because a lot of people have told me “don’t over-describe, be concise”. My mind’s eye is like… whatever is the object of focus is the only focused thing, and if I’m imagining something large or busy (like a crowded town square) it’s like my mind’s eye camera is doing rapid cuts between different images. An important trick is to try and write what the character would notice as the description. If they’re an architect, they might notice who designed a certain building. If they care about fashion, maybe they can tell where the businessman who just left the building got his suit. If they’re observant and suspicious, they might notice the businessman’s badly concealed gun, etc etc.

Generally, I don't use too many descriptions, but lately, I've been influenced by authors here on KZfaq, so I tried to write even "drier" than I used to. It's not going well. To me, it's unnatural, slow... not enjoyable. I won't be able to finish Nanowrimo this way. I'm going to start writing everything down, even if it's "too much", and change it up afterwards. Honestly, I don't know why I got influenced in the first place. I don't plan on publishing, and I just wanted to practise writing in a different language. I'll keep trying. Thank you for this video.

I call it the "Checklist of appearances". When it's all listed in a line. I try nowadays to make descriptions matter. like, give the most apparent things first, then add more stuff as they move, or as someone notices something.

Ellen is easily the best writing advice KZfaqr I’ve come across. Specific, helpful tips. Straight to the point. It’s very appreciated.

People often accuse Tolkien of writing overly long and detailed descriptions, but he actually doesn't.

My hero has returned with another video. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Ellen!

Not only the content of these videos is very very valuable, but the way this girl chooses her words when she talks is something else .. I realised how enjoyable it is to just listen to her eloquence

Definitely an underwriter. I don’t have a mind’s eye and so I can’t picture the description/details in books. I’ve started creating setting profiles that include a general description, what’s important/must remember, and listing things within the 5 senses. Also include a list of scenes that i know the setting will be used, the time of day, and overall tone. I look at a lot of pictures and videos to get very little and it takes a while, but it helps.

I just finished watching your writer types and its absolutely insane how insightful you are. Your so young but anyone can tell that you've been doing this for a long time. The experience really shines through. Insane, absolutely insane.

You come off like an actual professor of creative writing, the way you (heh) describe your lessons here. I can’t even find a word, that better conveys what you offer, than “lessons”

Yes! Video saved on "Watch Later" playlist; like button preemptively clicked!

Thank you, Ellen. Whenever I watch your videos, I always think, 'Ah, now I finally get it'

I’m loving these videos on less-global writing issues. If you could do a video on how to incorporate gestures and emotions into text without being cliche, that would’ve fantastic! Looking forward to describing part 2!

Ma'am, you're the best. Somehow I stumbled upon your channel. & It's been nothing but gold.

Really loving these last three vids. Few people really go into the mechanics of writing in this detail. I just watched something about how to make your audience cry - it was nearly all about camera angles and lighting with a little mention of injustice and emotional reactions right at the end. Sigh. Anyhow, half an hour with you is a much better time investment. Thank you!

You're tips help me read better. I am not a writer but understanding how writers write helps me appreciate their bodies of work better.

Has part 2 been posted. I just realized this was posted just three weeks ago. These videos are so helpful and easy to understand, so far.

Regarding the first tip, this is so interesting because you're totally right, too much information is too overwhelming and ends up making you glaze over or panic about visualising it all correctly. OTOH, I find it intensely irritating if I've been picturing, say, a room with a particular orientation all this time (e.g. the window's to the left of the bed) because it was never described otherwise, to then come to a paragraph that states it is on the opposite side, I really struggle then to re-orient it in my mind. It's also why I love maps in books, I always want to know where the characters are and to picture the locations of each place in my head as I read. (I'm the same irl, i've never travelled anywhere without seeing where it is on a map)

There are a ton of excellent writing advice channels on KZfaq. This is the best one I've found. Thank You!

Thank you for explaining it all so clearly. Your reasoning process and obvious experience are so helpful. FYI, I found your channel about a week ago and am addicted to it. Keep editing!

In college and grad school, the only times I was an "under-describer" in my writing was when I started to feel insecure about having been called an "over-describer" so often. Then people would tell me that actually this scene contained too little description and so the pattern repeated itself, lol! In the next installment of this, if you give "bad" examples by showing an image and writing a description that doesn't work so well, I was wondering if you might be willing to also include a good description of that same image so that we can see how that description might be improved? I know you included excerpts from published, well-liked novels as positive examples to emulate, but if I can see the bad ones redone, I feel like that would help me figure out how to change my own approach.

Thanks, this was really inspiring. Especially the part on how to choose and describe the setting by mirroring the action (stressful train scene for stressful conversation) helps me out. I think something that is also worth considering while we're editing (not something for a draft) is that the amount and subject of description should match the purpose of the scene and the character of the protagonist. Description slows down the pace, so in a fight scene we should not dwell on a character's hair if they are about to hit us over the head with something (unless the hair makes us identify them in a dark room and adds a shock value). For action scenes, I really try to focus on what is essential to orientate the ready once the action starts and which objects will be part of the action. If the scene is a stroll in the park, much more description is fine. Also, I think the description should ideally mirror the protagonist. If we're describing a field of flowers we should consider if the protagonist is interested in flowers. Does he even know their names? Or would he focus on something else entirely? For me, personally, it also helped to analyse where exactly I struggle with description. I think my descriptions for the beginnings of scenes and action beats are fine, but I'm super guilty of white room dialogue. Thus, that's what I work on when I edit. :-)

Excellent insights and very useful. I kept trying to hear the orchestra you were conducting!

So so happy to see a new video from you! ❤❤

This is literally EXACTLY what i needed right now 🤯 genuinely so thankful for your videos omg

I just have to say, I love your videos! Your tips are so clear and so easy to understand and have really motivated me to start writing in english for fun again after not doing it for a long while! Even if English isn't my main language and I struggle with it a lot, learning, understanding and following your tips has made it less intimidating and really fun!

An excellent video once again! You made a really good point about emphasis and people wanting to maintain twists: I think writers who want something to be a surprise would often benefit from considering who should be the target of the surprise/twist - the readers or the protagonist. As a reader, I find that I actually enjoy the tension more when I know the twist beforehand but the protagonist doesn't and I read on with the growing anxiety (which is why I can't watch horror movies). Something worth keeping in mind, I think, because it's so easy to automatically think that a twist is something a reader won't see coming, but maybe the story would actually work better if the protag was the one in the dark.

Thank you so much! Personally for me, two points were really helpful: first, when in danger of too many details, just think of what they would remember. And second, use details to emphasize certain aspects. It has been a pleasure listening to you - like always. I’m looking forward to your cheat sheet - this will find a place in my notebook for little writing helpers 😊

"Avoid meaningless lists of descriptions." Immediately, I remembered the lists in Gargantua et Pantagruel, the French classic that gave the English language the word gargantuan. Then again, there, the lists had their point. Just thinking on the keyboard. Thanks.

I'm gonna guess for Part 2's Tips might include: (1) *Description from a POV character is a great way to demonstrate that character.* Brandon Sanderson (in his BYU lectures on Creative Writing posted to KZfaq) gave an example: two characters attending his class would describe it very differently if one had the goal to get an "A" and the other hand the goal to get married. Similarly, Daniel Greene talks about how he enjoys the descriptions in The Wheel of Time often say just as much about the character doing the describing as the character being described: Matt describes a woman as looking like she could chew metal and spit out nails, show is reaction to the woman. (2) *Descriptions are a way to implicitly world build.* Tim Hickson (AKA: Hello Future Me) explained that a character's description of a place and their feelings about it can go a long way to implicitly building the world. Ex: An ancient being describes the remodeled ruins of a city they've known for centuries with despair at how the modern structures have lost the meaning their older counterparts imbued. (3) *Description carries tone.* A light-hearted passage describing a meadow might focus on glittering dew, the fond childhood memories brought back by the bird chorus, or how the sent of grass relaxes the character. The same meadow in a melancholic passage might focus on the decay of last fall's leaves beneath the grass that is left behind to wither as all else creeps higher toward a cold sun. (4) *Description carries subtext.* Studio Binder and Tim Hickson (AKA: Hello Future Me) both describe subtext as the implicit narrative of a story that engages the reader by inviting them to understand the meaning of what's happening. For example, a character who focuses on another person in the story - but never explains why they're drawn to this person - invites the reader to speculate on the rational. Say the character Ben describes another Alexa: "The same smile that never left her face when she sat with her friends in the cafeteria disappeared once she was alone. She flinched whenever a locker slammed or someone shouted in the hall - making a little annoyance feel so harsh that Ben had to wince with her. No one said much about Alexa's family, which was weird in such a small town where everyone knows even your grandparent's names. While everyone else packed into their parent's old beaters to head down to the mall in the next town over, Alexa ever appeared outside of school. It was like she only existed between 8:30 am and 3:15 pm. After that final bell blared, that sweet smile of hers vanished with her." While that description says almost nothing of what Alexa looks like, from that you have an idea of (1) What Ben's like and his relationship with Alexa. He seems to have a crush on her, empathically winces when she does, and cares about her. At the same time, they don't seem to be particularly close. (2) You get the setting is a high school in a small and not particularly wealthy town. (3) Words like "disappear", "vanish", "flinched", "winced", "harsh" gives the passage of uncomfortable or uncertain tone. (4) The subtext to this is Ben likes Alexa, but is somewhat aware the her home life might be bad. From this, the reader might wonder what's happening to Alexa outside of school and what Ben might end up doing about it.

Your videos have my writing more than I can describe. Thank you so much.

You always give so well structured, practical, and meaningful advise. Your content is my personal favourite for writing advise :) ❣

Yesss - long time follower of this channel and it’s always a joy when I see new content

I've tapped into an AI reading app. I follow along in my manuscript while listening. It's a brilliant way to catch oddly phrased sentences, paragraphs, and recognize weak scenes.

Ahh, sad to see you aren't taking clients right now, but will join your Patreon. If you can recommend other specific editors I could look at, I'd be grateful.

Your videos are by far the best of any writing tips channels I've seen. Your ability to clearly explain the 'why' makes it possible for me to take and apply your advice directly to whatever I'm working on. I have a draft of a previous project where I can clearly see the chapter break where I watched your video on writing emotion without melodrama - the chapter following that break is so obviously and immediately better than the one before. Been meaning to sign up to your patreon for months - will do so this week. Thanks for another fantastic video; looking forward to part 2. (Also, little thing perhaps, but it is SO nice to watch a video that isn't edited to have a cut every 4 words. It feels so much more real and relaxing.)

Great information - as always. I wish you would do a video about how to fix some of the bad description examples you mention here. Like the oddly exact details or the micro-managed description - I can see it clearly when you highlight the text but then you move on so it's difficult to translate the picture you posted with a better way to paint the scene with words. I realize you can emphasize different elements of the photo - the village or the distant mountains if either spot is the character's destination. Likewise, with the morning fog over the rolling hills emphasizes the early hour of the journey. I like when you do the side-by-side examples to position the contrast in sharper relief.

You are so easy to listen to and so helpful for a new want to be writer! Thank you

@Ellen: Thank you for that “remembering trick” when describing!!!!

I like many aspects of your speech and writing.

I find that reformatting the story into a different page size can help with forcing myself to read every word on the page and not skip over descriptions or even sentences. Especially when I export to a paperback 5x7 pdf, it makes it seem like I'm reading a book I just picked up from the bookstore shelf.

What’s disturbing is I was working on my description earlier. How did you know, Ellen?😆

I appreciate how you get to the point with examples. Also, what is that white square with the triangle behind you?

Top top for under describers: Something I find helpful is using the ‘read aloud’ feature on Word. I find that listening to someone else read the book helps me take a step back and relative where I’ve missed detail.

Holy crap I've so caught up with how to describe the setting, scenes and emotions of the characters that I forgot about how I need to describe the characters themselves

Your advice is so great!

Excellent as always!

Fantastic as always. Thank you!

Crystal clear Ellen. You help us understand language, and that is the best way to learn about writing. I have been reading the Song of Ice and Fire and was pondering how, despite the lengthy descriptions of character (and place), R.R. Martin retains your interest. Drawing you through to the end of the 750-page novel where your life calls as an unwelcome visitor. I shall return to those descriptions with fresh eyes to unpick them. Thank you.

Thanks for this video. It was really helpful in confirming for me that I was already on the right track, despite my descriptions being somewhat short and to the point, but not too short.

The color-coded highlights of each passage are really helpful for illustrating your point.

Love the Cormac MccArthy example to illustrate your point. Really brings it home and makes it clear.

This is so helpful. Thank you very much ❤

Looking forward to the second video! This was great

Great video! Thanks for the advice

Just discovered you Ellen. You’re the best!

Excellent video, thank you, Ellen. Already got a few descriptions jotted down. You're the best!

W/r/t tip 1 and the example from The Road, note how it starts off very general and slowly gets to a specific corps in a doorway; very nice. It reminds me of good comic panel arrangement.

the 'don't micromanage' part hit me like a truck because I do that a lot and don't realise it, and i've always wondered why i suck at describing specific things (like characters or small areas) sometimes.

8:24 Excellent breakdown on the types of writers. (I was surprised to hear that some writers don't have a mind's eye.)

Brilliant stuff! I love the analysis. You're videos are definitely the most helpful I have come across.

Another amazing and helpful update. Thank you 😊

I only come across your videos today and I must say that they are impressive. I have started creative writing recently and I struggle with it. Your videos are amazing and I think this is what I needed. Thank you for sharing them.

Thank you so much for another extremely helpful video!

thank you, Erin! You're amazing!

Wow. I wasn't expecting to learn much when I clicked the video but you really opened my eyes on what type of words/phrases are "over detailed". Thanks!

Thanks for posting, your videos are great inspiration for me.

Great info, great examples. Love your videos. Thank you.

I love your stuff. I wish you would do more. I'm working on my 9th book and through them all your craft wisdoms have helped me.

Great tips!!!thank you!🎉

You videos are very helpful thanks.

Such a good video. Thanks.

Fantastic video. I appreciate the hard work. I'll certainly be saving this video and re-watching it.

I know that I tend to underdescribe almost everything. Especially character looks and locations, and my friend always calls me out oon that. Still it's hard for me to get descriptions - especially meaningful ones - in. I have a editing step mostly for that now. I even feel it kills my pacing here and there. But when you talked about signs of underdesription I had to think of a review I got on one of my earlier novels. It was a pretty lengthy review and I'm still not sure if it's meant satyrical or not, but that's not the point. The guy who wrote it stated that "it's a wild right through cambridge. The writer doesn't stop once to admire the surroundings, she rushes us along." and goes on to detail how oddly interesting he found this, especially because it distracted him from the "littel illogical characters", too. I will be the first person to admit - with hindsight - that this book was bad and not at all ready for publication (I wanted to get the kindle storyteller tag in, so I totally rushed editing). But this review stuck with me, still today. I try my hardest not to prove him right again *lol*

Thank you, that's very helpful.

Thank you so much, this vid so useful!

Thanks for creativity ❤

Always such a pleasurable learning experience, watching your videos! Not a bit of waste or fluff - all relevant to really teaching and illustrating great points!

Excellent video! A lot of helpful info.

Thank you so much for this! I am a person that experiences aphantasia and description stresses me out. This was very helpful especially the tip on describing a setting that mirrors what's happening in that moment with your character(s).

@Ellen. You are an incredible teacher-8th Wonder of the World 🔥💯🙏🏾😊

Fantastic!! So many great ideas, thank you! I would love a video on when something should be a surprise vs. obvious to the reader.

I found this video very helpful and very relevant to my own writing.

Such a wealth of useful information! Thank you❤

Wonderful advice. Not only thorough, but you seem to genuinely care and want to help (that’s not true about most others on YT)

Very simple and soft suggestion about writing tips for the novels, 5 ways of writing process, Little bit know about that what actually people expect from my writing ✍️ experience, and what is in their mind 😳 😅 just for your example leade me forward for the next preparation 😀 👍, So as per your guidelines I will trying my best 👌 👍 😍 as well as possible, and make positive environment for the reader 😀 😊, I am writing this book third time, and written rough copy is in my record, So I have find it and see that many changes in writing the same story, therefore people sometimes know before I write anything and say in advance what happened to next 😀 😊 😄 So I am very appreciate about IT #SUBHASH NISARTA.

Wow! Very impressive 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Good to see you back, Ellen. I love your videos!

Great video. I love your channel. IMNSHO, your's is the absolute best of all the channels on writing that I've found. Thank you so much for sharing. 😊