It's like a drug. It makes you feel good but it will ultimately harm you in the end.

Nothing worse then crying over a girl who don’t feel the same way you do. You always end up getting hurt in the end.

@@TheProphegy Or a guy.

at least you guys know what it feels like to love somebody

@@artimiti What people call love vs what love actually is, it's completely different. The love shown in most movies is about finding a person that makes you into this twisted soul without them and shows you to be a better person with them in the end. Real love is letting the person go when you know they might make you feel whole and complete because you know that you can't give them the thing in life they want and deserve. Without any hidden motivation or telling them why and what you are feeling, since that will just put them in a position of having to choose right in the moment which isn't fair to them. It hurts but not as much as it does knowing you have hurt someone you care about, and you are able to live with yourself easier knowing they are better off without you and you actually care about their happiness over your own. In the long run your not missing much.

I felt like my ex bf was Summer talking and I was Tom lol

Did it mean she should have stayed with Tom?

What does this movie line mean?

@@ryangarbanzos366 that he was right about love, destiny and happy ever afters existing, just that he was wrong in thinking he'd find that in Summer

@@Gofaw Thank you sir for explaining.

there's nothing wrong in projecting your dream girl onto a girl, it's not about that. this movie is more than about that. btw, Women don't usually give closure that's just the way it is, you have to raise your social intelligence to be able to understand what went on and not blame them for being women.

It's the nature of women to be illogical.

Vindi Chase this is not a love movie, it's a movie about love.....

Do u really believe there is such a thing as the one? :))Summer will probably cheat on him or his husband will cheat on her. There are no relationships where love lasts and couples stay the same for each other. Thats an illusion.

Bobaloo Channel You explained exactly how I felt from this movie so perfectly! I don’t think we ever get the closure we would like to have when relationships end but I’m thankful that this movie made me feel less alone and understood a bit.

I think this scene all happened in Tom’s head only

Realistically she had moved on and wasn’t going to go kooking for Tom abd cause him more heartaches

@@marlena4020 What? Kind of a ridiculous theory. She cared about him, but she could not love him. That's why she wanted to speak to him, make sure he was okay. But the love simply wasn't there for her

@@Mlbb_370-x6n It all happened in his mind, IMHO. But I guess (to quote Summer) we’ll have to agree to disagree.

So good I went back to this movie . Since I fel in love again end of last year...

I still do

I do

I still do

i'm here again after watch this movie 2 years ago

i still do

I'm not sure how much JGL was acting........

It was like he's saying. Please don't do that don't give me that feeling again but at the same time he couldn't move just could go stare in her eyes

100% JGL’s acting was phenomenal. But I think what really elevated that moment was the writing and just how good the story that led up to that particular moment was. JGL’s acting was just THE cherry on top.

Yeah. He can't go to the things way back now like all the times he tried to get her back, he can't do that because she is marry now. No hope. Reality Check. And only PAIN.

Feelings of revelation, longing and desire, and then acceptance all encompassed in 10 seconds.

Nicely put!

And it's also super realistic. I was in a relationship with similar dynamics almost three years ago for nine months, and I still feel like he has a little bit of grip over my life, even though we haven't seen each other for two years. Sometimes we accidentally get hurt so badly, that the pain and the love form a lasting impression on you, even after you've moved on with someone new. As long as there is a tiny part of your soul that does not want to let go, it will always feel like a small sting to see the other person's name pop up somewhere. I always come back to this movie because it is the most relatable one for me and I'm very glad to see a movie that shows the ongoing struggles of not being able to part 100% with someone. It's not healthy, and I'm glad that this movie shows that it's not healthy to be this hung up on it.

I don't think that was the case I think at that moment he realized it was hard for her to be there with him and she was also hurting in some type of way. when a relationship ends regardless of who ended it...it hurts. summer might not have wanted a relationship but she still cared for TOM and she knew how her actions affected him. she knew he was hurting and so was she in her own way. I don't think tom still wanted to be with her after her playing with his emotions and then getting married shortly after the breakup.

Keese Adams true

DaMn

Hax9 good observation felt that was the case.

I’m glad he didn’t his too genuine for her

Umm not necessarily. She wasn't angry, bitter or spiteful of anything because she didn't see Tom as the love of her life......but that still doesn't mean that she didn't do things wrong. And I wouldn't say she was 100% honest.......she did lie to him about being involved in a relationship when they were dancing at the wedding and being on the train, she failed to give Tom proper answers to genuine questions he was asking by just either ignoring the questions or avoiding them. She did say that she wanted to just be friends (setting a boundary) and then the next time she saw him, she made out with him in the copy room (breaking that boundary herself) before setting up a new boundary (casual relationship) but then the two proceeding to do things that a normal couple would do (forcing people to ask them what are they and even assuming they are a couple) but then pulling the "I like you Tom as a friend" card when challenged on the question of what they actually are then going back to the person (like she did after their blow up) to continue whatever it is they have despite the fact that he had already made his case known of what he wanted (to be a couple). Sure, once you get past the sadness of no longer being in love with someone that you truly were in love with do you appreciate the lessons you learned from them but at the same time, Summer didn't have the feelings for Tom that he had for her so it's easier for her to move on and be more comfortable. And again, while she may have been "100 % honest" in the beginning, you can't predict how your feelings will be months from that moment and the closer you get to a person. We should appreciate the fact that Tom was very much genuine when he told her that he hoped she was happy (which is a very mature thing for him to do). We should appreciate that Summer gave Tom the closure that we know most people would never give the other in actual reality. We should appreciate Tom for getting his life together and taking the lessons learned from his relationship with Summer. We should appreciate the lessons Summer took from her relationship with Tom. But I wouldn't say we should appreciate having a Summer in our lives.........because while we might learn an important lesson and she might treat us with kindness upon reconnection, the road to get there is very ugly full of confusion, anger, tears, depression and miscommunication.....but once you get through that dark tunnel, personal growth happens. Plus, I think the Summers of the world should appreciate having a Tom come into their lives and challenge their theories on what love is.

@@crater044 The thing is Tom is a VERY unreliable narrator. What you see of Summer is ONLY his viewpoint. Who knows if she REALLY led him on or did he just imagine it?

@@crater044 Agreed. And even things like holding his hand briefly shows she was probably confused and was leading him on even if for a brief second.

@@rodrigobarba930 Deadass. What the hell am I supposed to think when you do all that a textbook couple does including sharing their deepest secrets, bonding at an emotional level, holding hands, hugging kissing, cuddling, then turn around and say it's a casual relationship

You summer defenders keep stating that summer stated hee boundaries from the beginning saying she didn't want a relationship and would like to be friends but why does she make out with him at work and proceed to sleep with him

The first line was so hard to hear ;(

@@JuliaJiggs It hits so hard. Really wish they included it in the video

Alex Gill Me too :/

right. those 2 lines is so important in this scene.

Gutpunches lol

"This scene gets me so hard" Oh my god 😂😂 Edit it to hits me so hard

+Blinky oh my god 😂😂😂 what was I thinking when I approved this comment. Oh well, whatever I'm just gonna leave it lol

Jese Ramirez why would you break it off with her? Have you moved on? I'm still recovering from my first love. Was with her from HS for 2 years and she broke it off with me bc of her parents, month later she was dating someone else. Hurt like hell but that was 6 months ago. I still think about her everyday but I decided to forgive her and not resent her, only thing is I think that she hates me now idk why. Oh well.

She is not meant to be yours ! If she did you will be together !

Jese Ramirez The worst part is when she says"it was meant to be", in reference to the new boyfriend. He seemed sooo disapointed. too sad.

She didnot wanted tom

She wanted nothing to do with Tom tho wym

@@xospxo1252 While I have no idea what he or she meant I think wanted tom could be seen as wanted tom to be happy.

She didn't want Tom she just enjoyed her time with him and she knows he wanted her more than she wanted him.

I see the four replies (to your post) which precede mine and realize that not a single one of them understand what you meant. I understood though. Well said.

Well said.🤝

It's easy to say this and pull yourself back

Oh you made me laugh so warmly with the second option also falling into a depression. So true and I am glad I am able to laugh at this now.

Damn I'm in the rejection phase now. 😃

​@@chenchen725You'll get over it 😊

.... important to wacth in the right time... I understand what U mean. I watched it many years ago and re-watched it yesterday using boxxy software and for free....

Damnnnn, i agree

She was honest with him from day 1. he couldn't accept that what he wanted wasn't what she wanted. He was being selfish through the whole movie, he lost his chance with her because he basically demanded that she be the version of herself he saw. He insisted they were run love when she said she wasn't ready for that, and that caused her to move away from him first emotionally then physically. He was in love with the idea of her, but she never told him she was in love with him, because it just wasn't meant to be.

It was necessary, it still is. Love's not like that, come on!. We all learnt it the hard way. And now I'm sooo similar to her little sister, but less pretty of course.

This comment concerns me so much

Summer represent the luck here . No matter how much you are close luck literally has something that excuse or reason that wouldn't let you have something that you want.

Yea she was but at the same time she new how much he cared about her , it's crazy how she fell in love with someone else that quick

@@NorthPhilly-zr7xc yeah but you don't control these things. She was not responsible for his feelings once she was honest

@@NorthPhilly-zr7xc Yeah imagine if a guy fell in love with another girl that quick...

I wouldn’t say completely. She was blunt, but not entirely honest

If the gender roles were reversed, she would 100% be lambasted as the f*ckboy villain.

I'm so relieved he had that much development at least. Maybe next time he meets up with his friends or his sister he'll have developed enough to ask them about how they're doing rather than just tell them about what's going on in his life.

No, it's actually weakness. Tom is incapable of holding on to the person he love. Overwhelming majority of the people can't do that but that doesn't signal exceptionality. It's mediocrity.

I can sum it up like this: she doesn't deserve him. He deserves a better person than Summer, because he is too sweet and romantic to be with someone so direct.

But why do they lead you on?

🤣🤣🤣

Ikr

This is literally what a lot of people are like and they still try to blame it on summer. They even go so far as to say ‘’it’s both’’ in an attempt to to avoid placing the blame solely on Tom.

Yea that's not the comments or even the thoughts of the people anymore. Now "TOM IS THE VILLAIN". The correct answer is "both parties are guilty for this crashing and burning the way they did but it was an important relationship in their lives that led them to the next step in their lives"

People get recommended rom coms or just have that personality when they were born I was one of them, watched too much rom coms, and i was like hey i finally got the one The thing is, this movie is so special that i went back to it and hated summer before and then i hated myself and tom Because its relatable, they'll get the whole point in the movie in a short time or a long time

I'm making the transition from Middle Age to Senior citizen in my life now. But long ago when I was still a young man, I can honestly say I've only looked at a one woman my entire life the way he looked at her. And ironically, my result was the same as his. I wish her happiness, wherever is she is....

Summer really liked Tom, the very essence of the movie is that Tom was just inconsistent and not alpha to lead the relationship especially into marriage. Don't blame Summer, she already lead most time in their relationship, which should be the DUTY of Tom in the first place. Also women don't usually say what they want, they just give signals to guys, and it showed clearly in the movie that Summer gave a lot of CLEAR signals to Tom to escalate further, he just wouldn't get it. Hope you watched it again and see the side of Summer :)

All Tom had to say was "I care".

Vindi Chase I didnt think it was the case. Summer was never in love with Tom, she just wanted to have fun and Tom agreed to that. Tom saw her as his dream girl, the one to complete him, but he never saw pass that. So he fell in love with the idea of Summer. Summer didn't fall in love at all. At the wedding part I can see that she just wanted to repair the friendship, but because we are seeing the whole movie through Tom' eyes, we saw it like how he saw it, a second chance.

Vindi Chase The part where she talked about her husband, and how she talked about it, like what if she'd gone to the movies, etc, she was talking about how it was meant to be. And that she has clearly fallen in love with her husband. She never spoke of meeting Tom in that manner.

And she was just falling in love with the idea of her husband.

i think its tom finally letting go, he doesmt try to grab her, just sits still

Travis Douglas it’s like he’s thinking why are you doing this? Why can’t it be you. Why couldn’t you be the one.

😫😔

4 months ago comment and the exact thing you just described happened to me aswell, after watching Jurassic park together we sat in a restaurant and she told me the same thing that you've described infront of my face except she didnt cried or showed any remorse at all, im feeling alright now since its been months but sometimes i went back to this video to comfort my own heart and get a reality check and this made me fear of being in a relationships. Hope you're doing well too in life my friend stay safe out there

don't take him back if he ever comes in your life. It just doesn't work the same. when a string is split in two, even though it can be entangled again, there still be always be a knot.

He wasn't the one ❤

Or he doesnt, and you meet the right one for you. Dont be his back up plan. move on.

I would've said to her something like, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you go back to your husband, tick?"

@@user-xt5ms1eo2e Oh yeah. Especially in North Korea.

What did she even mean with that? That's playing with words and confusing people.

@@PriyeRai She was like a politician hiding behind words instead of using them to communicate. This scene really hurt the movie for me. The entire last act of the movie is about Tom overcoming his love-fantasies and growing up. But then we get this scene which contradicts all that. The movie makes it clear beforehand that Summer didn't want a relationship, but then all of a sudden she finds a guy and wants to subtle down with him? Why? What changed? Oh right the movie doesn't have an answer and gives us some vague nonsense about love and in-love.........blah blah blah Hiding a lack of an answer with pretentious vagueness is hack-writing-101. You know people always accept this mysterious crap when it comes to love, which is suppose to be important right? Isn't it the thing that makes life worth living? So why not develop a solid answer? Why accept feel-good vagueness. Imagine your accountant giving you vague answers about your finances. NO ONE would accept that.

@@robrick9361 I think we’re supposed to pick up on a certain sentiment when she said that her husband asked her for her opinion on the book she was reading. The whole movie has been Tom projecting his fantasies on Summer and never seeing her as she is, which is a normal person with feelings and dreams and hobbies and aspirations. He never seems to be invested in what she actually thinks about something and tries to fight her on her feelings even when she is being open and honest about how she feels about him. From that sentence, to me it came across as Summer’s husband values her input and opinions on things and wants to know the real her, not whatever image he has o her in his head. This is something Tom never did or realized until the very end, which is why Summer and Tom could never work as he is, but Summer and her husband could. This is just my two cents on the matter though.

@@XxxMuseluverxxX But this is the problem, that we have to speculate in the first place. Why can't the movie have shown us why she fell for this guy, instead we're left analyzing a few sentences. The movie had something solid and then ruined it with this scene to send the story back to romantic comedy fantasy land.

@@robrick9361 I actually think you make a solid point, and I felt a bit that way watching the film too. Like it wasnt completely believable. I still really enjoyed a lot of the movie and what it had to offer tho

Caity Wylie yeah with ugly ass people. So sad...

Soul Keeper TM shallow

Recheck on that one is always changing

They're close friends too

Where is it located at in L.A?? And can you see the city

I just broke up with a woman after 7 years, and I know I wouldn't hold it together this well if I saw her. I'm simply a mess, but the sun came up today, and it will probably come up tomorrow. The world won't stop for our broken hearts. You hang in there.

Blanca Gómez so in your relationship it was the other way around? You were TOM n you left him because he wasn't totally invested?

+Soul Keeper TM she was probably insecure and afraid of being dumped so she left him. I know, its messed up.

Ayo you'll be great. Tc

Hope u are doing well now!!:)🙂

the problem was that he never asked. if he only just asked

He did ask in the car and she just avoided the question like a true manipulator, she is quite troubled.​@@Elamado97

That happens. And the next person has to bear the brunt of it

i think its a nice parallel, she was the one to initiate the talking to tom and her husband initiated it qith her. such a nice parallel and shows that a guy taking initiative is important, although fictional, its a nice touch

And I wish more people would have your take because i agree 100%!

@@crater044 thank you Jared. I wish you well

Me too... (I am actually Tom).

i dont think he loves her anymore. i think he hates her morebut here its a release, her holding hands after remembering all the bittersweet moments helped him let go, if she held his hands before he reminisced about the bad parts of the relationship then he would have given in, but now he has realised her true self, which is really really flawed so its easier to let go, see how he didnt reciprocate? he just sat there without trying to grab her hands, older him probably would have grabbed her really fast but now he is okay with letting go.

@@Elamado97 I love how people can interpret things like this differently. There’s really no wrong answer. Great movie

He was just a lonely guy

I don’t think this was a case of right person wrong time. The right person will love you back and unconditionally. It is however a case of us projecting our own expectations on someone else.

1.Of course she is she dump him, tom love her more than summer love him 2.she found a rebound and married and tom who are hopeless romantic still struggle with his life after broke up with summer 3. Summer is experienced with several relationship before and know how to handle a break up, but Tom is not he never in relationship before so he clueless how to handle a break up and ending up depresed

i think she did love him at some point, like when she cried at the movie theatre over the wedding scene, but tom never took the initiative, he was too busy enjoying himself that he never truly cared for what she wanted

Hows your boyfriend now?

Hope you've been doing well

That's right, it really is just like a gambling, some people might win by finding the right person and some people might lose by not finding anyone or breaking up and it all based on luck. Meanwhile, I'm too immature and dumb to be in relationship so I'm out of the game already, it not for me.

Aww are you guys still together 🥺

:( hope u feel okay again soon.

it will be okay

But if you're not right for them, then it's not their loss either.

And Toms - don't try to make your Summers what you want them to be rather than what they are.

"Just because a relationship didn't work out doesn't mean that love doesn't exist, and it doesn't give you the right to treat people as badly as he's been treating people. Because love in itself might be simple but a relationship takes work, both parties have to give and take rather than just demand everything you want from the other person which is what he was doing, trying to make her fit his image of her and what their relationship should be." The same can be said for her. Both partners were trying to fit square pegs into round holes and both just assumed that the other would be ok with whatever they wanted.......she had an image of him that she was trying to fit unto him that didn't work, which is why she wasn't completely sure about him. Again, Tom did this to her as well but I don't get that Summer had the mindset of "maybe I'll fall in love, maybe I won't", that's not how she spoke at the bar. They literally disagreed about the idea of love. Personally, I think she did try becoming open to the idea of it throughout the relationship but, with the pressure Tom had placed on her and with her own commitment issues that she talked about, she became unhappy (I personally think Tom is the longest "relationship" she's ever had) because she knew this wasn't going to work. She had more maturity to see that end game before he did but also, at the same time, that was also based on her preconceived notion of how relationships go (and Tom's unwillingness to take her hints at him dumping the greeting card job to actually follow his dream of being an architect, which will always be something I'll defend Summer on and hold Tom's feet over the fire for). I just think the two did put pressure on the other and had this idea about the other that the other just wasn't comfortable in being. Happens often in relationships......neither one is a villain but both were wrong in some way yet they also managed to take important lessons learned and applied them to the next relationship.

i think what worked for her was her husband taking the initiative, tom never took the initiative, he was always standing behind summer, she asked him about the music he ewas listening to, she kissed him, she told him and he jjst did, like a puppet, he was so inside his head that he didnt rrealise whhat summer truly wanted. this break up or whatever it was was a lesson for him to stand up and take the initiative, thats why he asks autumn outat the end

autumn? who is autumn?