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its the worst feeling to feel like youre just existing instead of living

I do feel uncomfortable around people who are crying, because I am unable to help them. And I feel useless that I can't help them.

The fact that we can't tell others that they are hurting us 🥲

I never realized just how much I bottle my emotions until I watched this, this genuinely helped.

Me: *has emotions Also me: absolutely disgusting, never do that again

"Did you recognise any of these signs in yourself?" Oh honey

This is super long, thanks to anyone who can be bothered reading this. I've been bottling up my emotions for as long as I can remember, and now I can't stop. It's gotten to a point where it feels like I am just filtering out anything bad that happens, then burying it deep inside me. Because I've been doing this for so long, I physically will not let myself cry in front of people anymore, even if I really want to. I've been aware of myself bottling up emotions for a long time as well, and i've been attempting to find out why I'm experiencing this for so long... I've arrived at some kind of childhood neglect trauma??? I have all the symptoms, but i don't have a therapist to tell me whats rlly happening (cause I won't open up to my parents cause it just feels weird)... idrk, but the worst thing is, when I told my friend that I might possibly have trauma, and she said that I definitely don't, because I have such an amazing life, and that she has it way worse then me... wtf. I mean, she's my best friend and she doesn't even know me, because I fudging internalise all of my bad feelings 24/7, and she's here telling me that there's not possibly anything wrong with me. I just want to be seen, but she can't do that for me because I wont let her. After that conversation she went to sleep, and I had a mental breakdown, (kinda). I felt so much like crying, but I couldn't so I just lay there for 3 hours feeling a big black chasm open up inside me, and my sadness and anger washing over me like waves in the ocean, and all I could think was... Somebody get me a fudging therapist. Basically, I deal with all of my problems internally, by myself, cause thats just how i've done it for pretty much my whole life, and I really just want someone to notice that I'm dying inside, but the fact is that they never will because I hide it too well. Also, I only let myself feel these things during the night, when I'm alone, so I don't really feel any of these things during the day? Except with the 3rd person perspective thing, that happens to me a lot... It's weirdly specific ik, but just go with it. Pls like this comment if u can relate because I would really like to know if other people have this, or if i'm just special, yk? :)

6 signs you're bottling up emotions: 0:52 - you rarely yell or cry, but can erupt over small issues 1:42 - you distract yourself whenever you start to feel uneasy 2:09 - you feel like you're a different person around others than you are by yourself 2:49 - you often feel uncomfortable around highly emotional people 3:16 - you experience life from a third person perspective 3:46 - you avoid confrontation and never address the cause of you emotions

it's not that i don't want to talk about my emotions, it's just this guilty feeling of putting the burden on them with my problems :(

"you feel as though nobody truly knows you, including yourself" That one cut deep

I bottle my emotions and let it out and get yelled at for it then bottle it back up and then then loop repeats.

I honestly understand you right now. I’m maybe still in denial that I’ve had ‘trauma’. Once you bottle up your emotions as a child you then use that as your coping mechanism…. The only problem with doing that continuously is it’s damaging your mental health every day, trust me. I’ve walked around with my bottled up emotions for 10-15 years and it feels uncomfortable for me to even cry with a close friend watching. All emotions are valid, and all emotions need to come out. If bottling up your first negative emotional experience was your way of coping, that’s what you’ll continue to do untill it puts you into a dark place. I can’t express how to change this ongoing cycle, breaking down Infront of those you have around you and trust will benefit. I’m going through something similar and I understand the urge to bottle emotions with in you. But they have and will come out. Like mine have without me being able to control it. One huge thing is definitely acceptable that the way you originally coped with those negative emotions has lead you on an ongoing dark path. It’s painful but you must feel every emotion because they are valid and need to escape! If you’re anything like me it’s painful and extremely vulnerable/exposing to not only recognise an emotions but to let somebody else see it, but it’s what will get you though :)

1 : "You rarely yell or cry but you can erupt over small issues" My parents call me too emotional to have a rational discussion with :")

i have to cry silently to not be heard by my sister or parents, anyone else?

I've been consciously bottling up my emotions since early childhood to avoid erupting conflict. I'm not really sure I can live any other way at this point. I always wait for that bottle to blow, but suppressing emotions is second nature, so it never does. I think I'm quite an emotional person, but only when I'm by myself, and I'm absolutely terrified of intimacy. Up to this point I never could openly express or talk about my emotions without prejudice, not even to my parents or a psychiatrist. I feel like I'm not actually living my life, more so just going along with whatever that ends a conversation or discussion the fastest. I want to live life as an actual person with substance, but it's becoming more and more apparent, that the hole I dug for myself is now inescapably deep. I don't know what to do, I feel so hopeless.

i literally have never related to any video of yours more than this, once again i feel like crying SO BAD, but my supressing of emotions has gotten so bad i not only am unable to cry inf ront of others, but even in front of myself i just have a huge empty hole that hurts

Me: _Already knows I bottle up my emotions_ Also me: *_Acts surprised when I have all the signs_*

The fact that this was in my recommended is concerning

I've been having a lot of mental problems recently and have been wishing to be able to cry for weeks but not a single tear would come out. However watching this video suddenly forced some tears to burst out, i have no idea why, i'm guessing its somehow related to just hearing how accurate every point on this video was to my life. I'm glad i found this video, thank you.

I thought I was sad and bottling up emotions because of recent events. But now I see that I am bottling up emotions as a defense mechanism and have been doing it since I was very small. I was in so deep that I was even hiding them from myself. I won't talk in detail, but everything you said was true. The thing is with being the clown and normally energetic. It's all just a mask that I have been developing for a long time.

My fbi guy: I see you watching this, let's talk about it.

me: depressed also me: YOU CANT BE DEPRESSED THATS PATHETIC

I've been sharing so many of your videos with a friend of mine. They're 20 and they never really learned how to express their emotions because they would always be met with anger and hostility. They keep it all in and just as you said in this video, don't really know HOW to feel their emotions because they've been taught that those feelings are wrong. Thank you Psych2Go for everything you do. Your videos helped me save another friend from suicide. I love you guys, Keep it up!

Lately, I've been trying so hard to express my emotions instead of bottling them up, but it's hard to do that when it has been a habit for so long. I recall times that something small would happen, and I would break down into tears because that little thing was the straw that broke to camel's back. If my friends/family was there, they would keep asking me what was wrong, and I repetitively kept saying 'I don't know, I don't know!' because I felt like I really didn't know. Tears just came, and I couldn't do anything about it; all the emotion just came pouring out.

I can't talk to anyone without feeling pathetic afterward. Edit: when the hell did this blow up? Thanks anyway.. Edit 2: I'm sorry to everyone in the replies. Everything will be okay eventually, we just gotta be patient. I'm now around 9 months clean of self harm, isn't that amazing? I'm having trouble with eating and sleeping now though.

Me relating to every single thing : "nah I'm fine"

Everyone knows me as the calm friend because I don't really show that many emotions and literally no one has seen me cry or be angry really. If I have to cry or am sad I will isolate myself from others as a coping mechanism. I can't remember the last time I cried in front of someone. Thanks for this video, it helped me to realise that others go through similar things

This video hit too close to home. I don’t have a great situation with my siblings and i have lots of physical conditions. I also have anxiety and depression and i know what it feels like to have to bottle your feelings. It feels like anytime you cry people look down on you and you feel embarrassed, something that i have been trying to get into the habit of lately is writing my feelings down in a private place or even sharing them anonymously to ask for help and it makes me feel a bit better and think out my feelings as i write them. If any of you think either keeping a private journal or asking for help online is a good idea i encourage you to try it.

this whole video said, “this you?” 👁👄👁

Me: Is sad and wants to cry Also me: Pathetic

I go to a highly demanding school so I have at least 2 quizzes a day. Last week I had a spelling quiz, grammar quiz, oral book report, Bible test, and a volcano project due on one day. A different day I had a math test, history test, and earth science quiz. I try my very best not to think about the many things that I have coming up or that I have to finish that day, but I can't help but notice my bad habits that I'm slipping into. On weekends I stay home in my pajamas and play video games all day. I can't focus sometimes too. I was trying to read one of my literature stories for homework yesterday, and I had to read the same paragraph over and over again because I wasn't even comprehending it. I constantly feel tired and worn out even if I get good sleep. I feel like no matter what I can't get rid of that tiredness. My acne started getting bad too when school started again. Somedays when I have to memorize a poem or write a paper, I can't do it. I just can't. I'll sit there for an hour trying to memorize a poem and I still won't have any of it done. When I write a paper, I cannot think of anything. It's hard to explain, but it feels kind of like art block. That's another thing I noticed. I used to draw a lot, and be very passionate about it, but ever since I moved to my new school, it doesn't sound fun. I can't tell if it's just because I'm growing up though. This video made me realize a lot. Sorry for the rant

Me: these signs kinda- Brain: *no* Me: but don't I always bottle up my emotions just to not upset other peo- Brain: *n o.*

So, I relate to every sign..... *Chuckles* *"I'm in danger"*

the fact that every single one of these signs are exactly what i do makes me honestly feel quite comforted. now i know what’s wrong with me. thank you for sharing this video.

My life is a loop same thing go to school go home, eat lunch, do work, sleep, wake up later on wednesday fail a quiz, and I am always feeling down but i always joke with my friends but my thoughts are always negative, i always feel disconnected far away from my friends even though i'm right next to them, sometimes in public my eyes water because i don't cry with friends or family so the retained tears just spill out. I am used to pain so self harm is normal and i am always thinking about why iam like this and why i am so sad around people i like and why i can't socialise with anyone but this shines some light thank you

Me: * *already knows im doing this* * * *clicks anyway* *

the only reasons i rarely talk about my emotions is because my ability to explain things is absolutely terrible

This made me tear up because I do ALL of these things...and the fact that I know why I do it makes it worse...

i love how they speak like they know what people actually feel, I love this way of slow speaking and understanding thank you so much! : )

When KZfaq knows me more than my own parents.

1.You rarely yell or cry, but you can erupt over small things 2. You distract yourself whenever you start to feel uneasy 3. You feel like you're a different person around others than you are by yourself 4. You often feel uncomfortable arround highly emotional people 5. You experience life from a third perspective 6. You avoid confrontation and never address the cause of your emotions

Even though I mostly relate to your videos, I do like the fact that you say rather comforting things at the start and your voice is really calm.

This just explains my whole life every bit of this video

"1: You rarely yell or cry but get angry over little things" Me: Ok this is already to close for comfort 🙃

"2. You distract yourself whenever you feel uneasy." *Who else clicked on this video to distract themselves from feeling uneasy*

I just wanna say thank you so much for trying to help spread mental awareness this video made me cry because I know I won’t be able to do anything no matter how badly I want to

WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE!?

“Why are you depressed, I provide for you” -My Parents

"You distract yourself whenever you start to fee uneasy" Me reading and creating fake scenarios to distract myself 😃

It feels really nice when you can express your feelings out.

i think this video is the one i can relate to the most. All of these tick off the boxes in my brain and i think all of these points i recognize in myself. it’s been a while since i let out a good cry and my mom keeps describing me as calm cool and collected when i don’t even know myself, and we even had an assignment in my health class about masks and i remember writing about how i feel like i wear many masks on the daily, even when i’m by myself. I also only have 1 really close friend and a few other nice friends, but i also feel like i’m living as 2 different people with the same face. It’s also a bit hard to help my really close friend with emotions since i don’t really know how to cope with them too. One thing i tried was drawing and what came out was a drawing of hands covering someone’s eye, mouth, ears, and holding them by the throat. I don’t know what that means, but i feel that has something to do with my mental state. Hopefully anyone that read this can somewhat relate and i hope you have a good day or night

This has got to be KZfaq's most relatable comments section.

I've always saw myself as a pretty normal human who makes bad mistakes, watching depression videos and stuff until I saw this, it basically described my life

i cried while watching this for the first time in years. thank you

Who else thinks that her voice is really calming .

Seeing “you experience life through a third-person perspective” really hit home..

no matter how much i try i still cant escape

I hate being this way. I related to quite a few of these signs. I have noticed over the last several years if my life, I have been a very good listener and advisor. I have listened to many people, friends and family members talk about personal experiences and issues and come to me for advice on them. I have noticed that many people say I am a great advice giver and I have found a kind of fulfillment in that. I genuinely love helping others, it brings me joy. But this has come at the expense of my inability to reciprocate this kind of interaction. I have hardly ever expressed my own emotions (specifically painful or angry ones) or talk about my feelings and issues with others. I find this to be an incredibly daunting, intimidating and scary thing to do. I struggle a lot with being vulnerable. I don’t mind being around others who have no difficulty doing so because I am there to listen and support them. But when it comes to my turn to do the same, which there have been many cases where it seems like the person I am talking with expects me to open up just like how they did, I simply don’t and cower away from this opportunity. I am very comfortable in expressing my feelings and talking about them on my own. But doing the same thing with or in front of other people? That’s a whole different story. And I know this is problematic, I know this is unhealthy. But I fear reaching out for help so much. I feel the stigma around this so deeply. And I know I shouldn’t… I know there really is nothing wrong with asking for help and being honest about this part of myself. But it is so hard for me to do. It’s nearly impossible for me to be vulnerable in front of the ones I love.

Number 4 is so true, whenever someone cry’s during a class everybody will literally go over to comfort them. And then I’m in the back like: 👁👄👁 👉 👉 Ya like jazz?

The reason certain people such as teens bottle up their emotions is because when they express how they feel, their parents get all angry at them for feeling a certain way.

One day at church I hid in a closet that was always locked. Stayed in there and cried for 20 minutes in the dark. What was funny was that it was Christmas Eve, and everyone else there was happy and joyful. When I came out, i just wiped my tears away and put on a fake smile. Cuz that’s what I always did for 5 years. I learned how to silently cry when my best friend moved away in 3rd grade. 5 years later I still think of her… I’m sorry because I never said goodbye to her. So I bottle up all that sadness, I binge watched so many tv shows and ate candy. After I came out that closet I went downstairs and interacted with my ‘friends.’ It was as if I never cried. That’s what hurts the most. No one knows. So no one cares.

This woman just read me in the sweetest way

1:44 "You distract yourself whenever you start to feel uneasy." *Me who's scrolling through KZfaq and other social medias to be distracted* oh dang-

Me : * shows emotions * Also me : nope nope. Nope never do that again * holding them back and not letting to escape *

It's funny how these videos do more for me than a psychologist ever could just by talking about the things that are going through my head. Thank you for that, thank you for just talking because it helps.

i find your voice very calming, and it honestly helps. with videos like this using more energetic snd youtuber-y(?) i can listen, but its harder to really take in. with your videos, it feels more like youre informing me than convincing me of something

For the people who'd rather not watch the entire video: 1. You rarely yell or cry, but erupt over small issues. 2. You distract yourself whenever you start to feel uneasy. 3. You feel like you are a different person by yourself than around others. 4. You often feel uncomfortable around highly emotional people. 5. You experience life in a third person perspective. 6. You avoid confrontation and never address the cause of your emotions.

1: you rarely yell or cry but you can erupt over small things - *yes* 2: you distract yourself whenever you feel uneasy - *describes me* 3: you feel like a different person around others than by yourself - *yes* 4: you often feel uncomfortable around highly emotional people - *yes* 5: you experience life from a 3rd personal perspective - *yes* 6: you avoid confrontation and never address the cause of you're emotions - *describes me again* *time to do nothing about it*

Her voice is very calming I can actually sit through the videos.

wow, i never realized how this showed my reality in things

anyone else here just very quietly cries in their room in the dark to not let any of their family members hear because they don't know how to tell them hello :), i would just like to make an edit to this, this is more than a year after i made this comment, and im actually kind of shocked by how many people relate to this so much so i just wanted to let everyone know that this is a perfect example of that you are not alone, we're all together in this so, if you would like to share a certain thing or feeling that you don't think you have anyone that can sit down and listen to you talk about you can share it here in the replies because i feel like we can all understand each other and how we're feeling, there will be zero judgement or anything if you're worries about that and i will read every single one of them and try to reply to them too if you would like, you're not alone in this we're all with you

Does anyone else cry while uttering the words about how u feel to anyone u trust and afterwards feel like u shouldn't have told them?

Bro I'm pretty sure your my favorite KZfaqr is because you actually help me figure out who I am

the thing is i dont even know what is causing me to feel like this

Left brain: already know im bottling my emotion* Right brain: "Act like you're surprised"

I really honestly want to give this entire comment section a hug... sure I might need one too but hey it seems all of us need it right now

Omg I’m so glad I saw this video in my homepage when I needed it the most

Me: * has all of these signs * Also me: “Guys I’m fine! You don’t have to worry about me at all!”

Everytime I talk to anyone about my feelings it makes me feel like I’m just being dramatic or being to much :/

This is really enlightening. Thank you

The comment section is always so relatable. That's my place to express my emotions

Me: starts bottling up emotions because no one cares Also me: Searches signs of bottling up emotions

you ever just cry but then remember that you have homework to do so you end up working with tears running down your cheeks and just pretending that you’re perfectly fine and not literally crying?

thanks for letting people know.

This is me, I bottle my emotions up until I explode or get mad, stressed, or get upset over the smallest things. Thanks for making these videos

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways." - Sigmund Freud

Me: "i'm not bottling up my emotions, but let's watch this video, it looks interesting" Me, five minutes later: "STOP DESCRIBING MY LIFE"

i was searching for months why im acting strange lately and i found this after a deep search!, thank you you really have helped me, i finally know what is going on!

this is so true to me i almost cried realizing i wasnt the only one

Friend : **Cries** Me : Uhhhhhh- **Pats shoulder** Also me : Why the heck did i do that?

1. You outburst over this relatively minor issue can be a sign of deeper, more suppressed troubles on your relationship or personal life. 2. You distract yourself whenever you feel uneasy 3. You feel like you're a different person around others than you are by yourself 4. You often feel uncomfortable around highly emotional people 5. You experience life from a third person perspective 6. You avoid confrontation and never address the cause of your emotions

Watching this as my bottle exploded, thank God on time... Will never bottle up emotions again

Thank you for this video, I saw it when I needed it most

"You rarely yell or cry-" Me: oh I dont think its me- "But you can erupt over small issues" Me: 👀 Edit: 2:06 how did you'll know?💀

psych2go really be uploading whenever i feel depressed

Nice! visually. Love the little characters, very engaging

I can understand this now so well i watched it again while absolutely crying

What’s worse than not knowing you bottle up your emotions is not knowing why you’re bottling up your emotions.

Whenever i TRY to talk abt my emotions with a "trusted adult," they get brushed off as childhood fears and stuff. Im 15. I want to be taken seriously :(