👌More videos can be found on this topic at kzfaq.info/sun/PLcB3trehXswir7EQOsUEZSu7NouGVkrI6&si=1hOjwu3BsD_g2qZw ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
@CynthiaSchoenbauer Жыл бұрын
Let's face it, you are the mother-type figure of what I never had, having had both a narc mom and dad. I don't need a full-out mother, I am realizing, but I DO need to know what I missed and the wonderful feeling of what it feels like to get it. What I was afraid of and confused about in the world made me need someone to run to besides my self. I always had my empathic self (mostly used for others in a role), my medication, and my trauma response to soothe me, but you help me piece together exactly what I would have had. To have had a good mother would have been HEAVEN! When you interact with me, I see a lot of what was missing and I would have very much loved. Counselors never gave me anything either, when they should have at least modeled a representation of what I missed. (My counselor dropped me because I was too "needy"... when I was not.) But you do that for me. You model what I missed and can actually learn to make up in my life now with my own new experiences, learning, and choosing in relationships. Thanks for not shirking from the representation, like my mother did. From the age of 1 or 2, she seemed to thinks females should be "independent women" and tried to always show us girls that "she was". (She was a women's libber... and never picked up ANY of the female role... we ate out of cans in the 60's! But she was also narcissitic and we had to do everything for her.) 😨
@mattlehnardt8035 Жыл бұрын
funny how a nurturing, close and supportive and attuned mother would have created exactly the kind of "independent woman" strong, confident, etc, your mom idealized. Leaving a kid to fend for themselves and abandoning them creates the opposite, which you are incredibly struggling to learn on your own but is so helpful to hear defined by these therapists who thoughtfully take the time to talk to us about it via KZfaq. Im proud of you for walking your journey even though its more difficult, best wishes for you!!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching, Kitty Kat. I am so very sorry that happened to you and I am grateful to be of help and to join you on your healing journey
@HopeWins777 Жыл бұрын
I'm already crying! If I had don't I would have stopped it... How does a mom ever get over that?
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am sorry about that. Maybe you can watch these videos until the one on self forgiveness premieres: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/kLN6fM523bfJepc.html kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bJymnKWjsZO1Z4k.html
@CynthiaSchoenbauer Жыл бұрын
@Babs Kaz My mother earned her guilt as she full-on competed with me and then declared she had won after me going into major depression! Needless to say she was out for only herself and healing her pain at my expense and was not an empath like us who are sorry for what we could not do. I still feel guilty for not being able to rescue the dog and nieces and nephews from her!
@billthelen6524 Жыл бұрын
I struggle with knowing how to handle my emotions. I know what to do, I just have a hard time dealing with them I know my skills of mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance. Though I know what to do, I don't always know how to carry it out. Thank k you Dr Snipes for reminding me that I don't need to beat myself up. As the 12 step program says to take it a day at a time, so mindfulness reminds us to take it moment to moment.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome, Bill. Have you tried building a distress tolerance toolbox? As always, I appreciate you watching.
@jessluck6583 Жыл бұрын
Thinking about talking to myself this way is the kindest way I’ve treated myself in a long time. Thank you!
@Trystannenoire Жыл бұрын
Thnx, cause I have been lost in self criticism for a long time. Looping in mind all the things I am regretful, and finding no peace.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
@sirenagarrido3836 Жыл бұрын
My God is unbelievable that you are picturing me exactly how I feel and felt about few things that happened in the last few years and my mistake is trying to figure out how to fix it and I always put myself in that position of higher standard on myself something I don’t ask anyone to be I beat myself up all the time for things I should have done different and like you said is the past I have to learn and move on and be more gentle with myself and loving me more thank you so much I really need to heart this thing the way you said otherwise it have taken more time to understand now is time to heal
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. I am so glad the video helped you. You say you put yourself in a position of higher standards. Have you watched the video on embracing imperfection? kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qplipZB0r7O8k6s.html
@TruthRocker Жыл бұрын
This is a Really Wonderful video!!!! Thank YOU Doctor Snipes for ALL of your exceptional information, and your impactful and insightful delivery--just to name a few!!!!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching the video. What tips will you consider using first to start forgiving yourself for not knowing what to do?
@TruthRocker Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes that is a very good question
@lindahebb4832 Жыл бұрын
Doc Snipes you are going to hit 300 k followers before you know it. I’m so proud of this channel and I’m not a therapist or a student. Lol. I do work a homeless shelter as a shuttle driver and logistics department. This channel helps me in so many ways yo keep my own emotional bank 🏦 full. I appreciate you and congratulations 🎉 ahead of time. I’m going to blink my eye and you will be hitting 300 k.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for watching the video and thank you for your kind words. I am glad the channel helps you keep your emotional bank full. I am grateful to be of help.
@Th0ughtZ_ Жыл бұрын
Excellent video Dr. Snipes.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use to forgive yourself?
@Th0ughtZ_ Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes One I'll be using is reflecting on how regret is impacting me negatively.
@belle1901 Жыл бұрын
I need this, helping an ill friend & making mistakes
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am so glad the video helped your friend. Thanks for watching
@HopeWins777 Жыл бұрын
Accepting that we don't have control over other people and accepting that we don't know what we don't know, should not end up in regret. Strife. It's simply comes down to the realization that the next best course of action is to be better prepared next time. Seems to comes down to acquiring the wisdom to know the difference.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching
@thomaszack35735 ай бұрын
You have a beautiful smile. Your work has helped me. Thank you, 🙂
@DocSnipes5 ай бұрын
You are so welcome
@paulamarshall9971 Жыл бұрын
Wow wish I found this channel sooner thank you so much ❤
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so very welcome, Paula. I am grateful for you being here and watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@paulamarshall9971 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes my partner started a new career in tattooing and I was overwhelmed with omg he will meet somebody else he will leave me , I never had my dad in my life “his choice” my attachment and anxiety all made sense to me after watching your videos, I regret putting my trauma on him , I need to forgive myself for why I sometimes behave irrationally
@AnaK-kx4lr4 ай бұрын
So insightful and helpful!!!
@DocSnipes3 ай бұрын
Glad it was helpful! Thank you for watching
@gettingschooled3094 Жыл бұрын
Very helpful. A lot of regret from inaction.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Glad the video was helpful. One has to ask themselves why was not-acting more rewarding than acting at that time?
@clouddancer46 Жыл бұрын
Every day is now, ho easy on yourself..
@mattlehnardt8035 Жыл бұрын
i think its a core connection-trauma that goes deepest when our main connective person gaslights us, or otherwise ignores or minimizes or abuses our connection with them, and it leaves us wondering where 'home' is, cause they were it. Those traumas and psychological/emotional cuts don't don't have anywhere else to go except into our body/emotions. and we may not have the words to even process whats happening/happened. So we just feel (I feel) lost, in outer space. and we think that feeling is us, that that's who we are. its not who we are. but its all we have where the empty space is where our relationship was supposed to be, and theres nothing. so how does that feel? the worst kind of lost, and then we get mad at ourselves for not 'being more' or 'enough' for people to make them want to be with us, connect with us, or otherwise make life work. Narcissists can get very dark and deep, so it hurts when they choose that over our relationship or even being a human being to us. (me). yeah.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you watching the video. Have you seen the videos on healing after a breakup on the channel?
@mattlehnardt8035 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes I will look it up, thanks.
@ma_iii Жыл бұрын
Thank you this is so helpful
@gonzaal11 Жыл бұрын
Thank you sooo much for all of your videos Doc Snipes! You cover so many important topics.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@gonzaal11 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes I believe the overall fact of forgiving oneself for just not knowing what to do. Even when I did know what to do and I froze up. It helped me to continue so that if I was ever in the same situation, to just react in a different way.
@judithwallace2091 Жыл бұрын
One of your best! Thank you.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@dlynsky Жыл бұрын
This is so good! Such an important topic
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching the video. What tips will you use first to start forgiving yourself for not knowing what to do?
@CynthiaSchoenbauer Жыл бұрын
I love this stuff! I call it "girl stuff", along with fashion, and baby tips. 👧
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
:) Thank you, Kitty Kat!
@lillianlopez8609 Жыл бұрын
Thank you!!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. What tips from the video will you use to forgive yourself for not knowing what to do?
@raven4090 Жыл бұрын
Thanks!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching
@anitach5901 Жыл бұрын
Thanks a mill .
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@anitach5901 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes Reframing unserviceable thoughts in better servicing conceptualised , techniques of self forgiveness practice I have found super useful.
@beadingbelle3486 Жыл бұрын
My problem is i knew what to do back then but was unable to do it as i was being emotionally blackmailed - i was effectively in a corner & so damned if i did & damned if i didn't, so i took the option that gave me an easier life at the time - the less bumpy route. Turned out it wasn't exactly easier as nothing i did was ever right & it caused a lot of problems later on, too, not least with pent up resentment & anger inside myself. True, i obviously didn't know as much back then as i do now & would have probably handled it more calmly if i'd had the skills i have mow, but i still beat myself up a lot of the time when things go wrong in the present becasue they seem to be a consequence of what i should've done & didn't do back then. My intelligent brain knows it's fruitless to dwell on this as i can't change a thing of what happened but i can live & work on things now, today, but it doesnt stop the pain of the past coming back again & again. I guess the crux of the matter is i blame myself for what i see as taking the 'cowardly' route, but back then it was a case of damage limitation for myself & those around me so i let it go on, & i guess i have to try to find a way to forgive myself for that (or at least find a way of reconciling my actions to myself) because whatever the outcome would've been, it wouldn't have been a pleasant one either way. Thank you, Dr Snipes, for your videos-they are helping me very much along the road of my healing journey.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciated you watching. I think it was very brave for you to take that that road. What tips from the video will you use to forgive yourself? Here is the video on increasing self compassion, maybe it helps: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/kLN6fM523bfJepc.html
@CynthiaSchoenbauer Жыл бұрын
I like the way you take responsibility for your growth as you reflect on the past. You are officially NOT a narcissist, as far as I am concerned, because you do this.
@beadingbelle3486 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes i've been thinking a lot since watching the video & have got to the place where i'm past hating the ones who harmed me because they don't deserve the energy i put into it. I am also being a lot easier on myself as regards the anger - not feeling so guilty about it &, knowing that it's a normal part of the process, it is getting less.
@beadingbelle3486 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes I also realise that it's because i had a better nature than the narc that they were able to take advantage of it, & that my better nature isn't a weakness beause i always blamed myself & had such shame for being weak & gullible but, of course, it's precisely because of that that the narcs are able to do what they do - they wouldn't choose another narc to do it to as they know they wouldn't be able to get away with it. It's not that i was weak at all but had a kind of 'inner beauty' - for want of a better phrase - something the narcs didn't have & something they knew they could exploit to their advantage. It's disgusting really as it's a bit like the hunter animal playing with its prey. For years that 'inner beauty' has been marred with the hate & anger it has caused, but i now have to reach deep inside & find & pull out that inner beauty because it's still there - it's not weakness or gullibility, but it's the better more beautiful side of my nature which the narc sought to exploit, use against me, & ultimately destroy. It's wonderful when a realisation comes - like a light bulb going on - & i feel i have moved forward into a new chapter of my healing journey. Thanks again for being instrumental in this.
@richtheking7157 Жыл бұрын
My problem in my youth is that I froze up a lot.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips from the video will you use to address that?
@anyways661 Жыл бұрын
Thank you💛
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@anyways661 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes When you say to consider "all the other stuff" going on ... Made me feel a little kinder towards myself... Maybe it doesn't help to be so hard on oneself. Many of my regrets come from being a double bind, where there is no clear good choice. So now I focus on gratitude and endurance.
@HopeWins777 Жыл бұрын
Does anyone know how to get a copy of the transcript? KZfaq took away the copy paste ability and I would like to take notes
@rorytyner9102 Жыл бұрын
Is there a dependable way of contacting you? Tried on Facebook messenger. Looking at taking one of your courses.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Hi. If you’re interested in taking courses, please email support@allceus.com. Thank you!
@amandalambert1309 Жыл бұрын
What do you do with a partner of 38 years who has resentment & anger towards you & your choices & says they couldn’t ask because they felt powerless.
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
I am so sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Please try asking this question on Thursday’s FREE Live Q&A session (09.02.2023) at 4PM EST. I am looking forward to seeing you there.
@margueriteoreilly2168 Жыл бұрын
Aww ur brilliant Belfast Ireland 🇮🇪 😎
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?
@margueriteoreilly2168 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes I have been in trauma So much I my own life. I am learning to have abilities to make suches, Not bad desions, I liked that part . I feel like I let others walk over me . I hate fighting or arguing So I like u say honestly It suchs Learn from actions to cope
@toddboothbee1361 Жыл бұрын
I was having tachycardia and mindlessly gave out my social security number. There seems something unethical about asking for ssn while in a level 4 emergency, and not mentioning why they want it. Now I have to worry about ID theft, as well as being charged almost $20k for an hour there.
@toddboothbee1361 Жыл бұрын
I'm aware they can deny medical treatment if you don't give ssn and don't have insurance etc.. Still...
@Irisi13 Жыл бұрын
When my husband was in the military if you didn't give them your spouses' ssn, you weren't admitted.
@toddboothbee1361 Жыл бұрын
@@Irisi13 Thanks. I guess it isn't really voluntary, after all. Besides, this was the only hospital in the county.
@naturalnikki8675 Жыл бұрын
You do NOT have to give your SSN to receive health care services. That practice overall has been phased out. Some drs, hospitals still have it on their forms, but you can leave it blank. If they happen to question you, simply state “I do not use my SSN for health care services.” Outside of the military/VA, they cannot deny you services. Feel free to Google it if needed.
@toddboothbee1361 Жыл бұрын
@@naturalnikki8675 I had already Googled it, and I found that though you're not legally required to provide your ssn, the hospital isn't required to accept you as a patient. Unless you're in need of emergency care. Now I will kick myself. I wasn't thinking straight, believing I might drop dead. Damn it! Everything in this country is damned ordeal, run by a bunch of carnies.
@anudeepaghosh Жыл бұрын
I was trying to contact you too. Is there a way?
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Sorry for the late reply. Sadly, these messages can easily get missed. If you’re interested in taking courses, please email support@allceus.com. If you want to ask questions on mental health, please join the channel (you can become a silver member for $9.99 / month) at: docsnipes.com/join . By joining the channel, you can become a member of the Doc Snipes telegram group and you can also ask questions when I go live for members.
@redeamedrichly3 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes 🤝🆒 info.
@anudeepaghosh Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes Thanks a lot Doc for the info..
@HarpreetSingh-il5sy Жыл бұрын
So cute🥰
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching
@JR-dt9ie6 ай бұрын
❤
@DocSnipes6 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching the video
@redeamedrichly3 Жыл бұрын
🥺👐🏼🆒info, thanks.😇 🕊️✝️
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching
@normanjefferychester882 Жыл бұрын
Bye,
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
Thank you for attending the premiere, Norman! Looking forward to seeing you again at another premiere :)
@normanjefferychester882 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes Hallelujah
@normanjefferychester882 Жыл бұрын
@@DocSnipes Doctor, do you have info on the use of CBD products for anxiety, while on probation in Georgia, say , if prescribed by doctor, Thank you
@aliciatalia Жыл бұрын
Thanks!
@DocSnipes Жыл бұрын
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it?