60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 19/33 - Instant Gratification

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Tim Fletcher

Tim Fletcher

Күн бұрын

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Having a tendency in life to live for instant gratification may seem innocent, but it can lead to many unforeseen problems. It is an especially difficult issue for people with Complex Trauma. Why is that? What are practical tools for change?
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Пікірлер: 73
@storm4515
@storm4515 Жыл бұрын
I’ve gotten to the point where before Tim even says welcome to another Friday night I say to myself and out loud welcome to another Friday night. Thank you
@RobertaFierro-mc1ub
@RobertaFierro-mc1ub 5 күн бұрын
Yes! Me too! Funny, isn't it? That means that we are really interested in growing up! No doubt we will learn.more than we realize. Hopefully, we'll succeed in.our little quest!
@singingtree7619
@singingtree7619 2 жыл бұрын
It was a real relief to hear the neuro chemistry behind this issue. These habits can be very shame-inducing and can really annoy people close to us. Thanks so much for the insights.
@Covermeinsunshine344
@Covermeinsunshine344 3 жыл бұрын
Ever single one of these feels like it saves me from serious pain and conditioned responses. Thank you so so so much
@as2223
@as2223 2 ай бұрын
Amen! Education is wonderful and I am so grateful for Mr Fletcher! He's the real deal.
@jacobamor9691
@jacobamor9691 3 жыл бұрын
He's amazing
@markcrounse9919
@markcrounse9919 3 ай бұрын
We live in a traumatized society & economy driven by instant gratification: I want what I want and I want it now! Including ridding my pain. And that’s not fast enough.
@AWalkingHat
@AWalkingHat 3 жыл бұрын
"If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." (1 Cor. 15: 19) Yes, working hard with little result is often a Christian's lot. It is one of my life's greatest frustrations. And I keep wondering how God expects his children to persevere through it all and stay motivated, even if they know Heaven will be the great reward. I often pray with this verse when I find myself in that place: "For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward." (1 Tim. 5: 18) I beg God to send me encouragement because sometimes, I'm tired and I'd rather die than keep on. God has allowed a succession of hardships and disappointments in my life in recent years and I feel like my motivation is all spent. I wonder if I can ever find it again. This after growing up under a demanding mother's controlling and manipulative hand.
@AllIn1Studio
@AllIn1Studio 2 жыл бұрын
Your knowledge and delivery is so brilliant! What a thorough understanding you have. Thank you so very much for helping me recognize why I behaved the way I did all my life. I never knew until today. May God bless you.
@Oceansoul22
@Oceansoul22 Ай бұрын
I watch and listen to your videos every morning, while having breakfast, and I thank you so much for this healing information ❤🙏
@ocpd23
@ocpd23 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for making these videos. They have been such a tremendous help for me.
@WickedWood4U
@WickedWood4U 3 жыл бұрын
One of The best ones I’ve seen yet:-) Thank you so much Tim you have helped me tremendously & you are the best !!!!
@OrbisonTributeArtist
@OrbisonTributeArtist 3 ай бұрын
Absolutely brilliant presentation! Thank you for your disciplined and consistent hard work. You are changing a lot of lives for the better. I share your presentations with everyone in my family. We all need your wisdom to sort through our trauma.
@neptune6933
@neptune6933 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for these. I am so happy to find these videos. So helpful and in depth.
@lejci38
@lejci38 2 жыл бұрын
I understand everything, but I'm stuck too deep and too tired to get out of this.
@luciantempest1291
@luciantempest1291 2 жыл бұрын
I have tried many therapies but Faster EFT by Robert Smith work best and quickest for me, there’s lots of KZfaq videos on his channel if you would like to check it out, he has lots of qualified practitioners all over the world
@lejci38
@lejci38 2 жыл бұрын
@@luciantempest1291 Thank you, I'll check videos!
@sheiladuke3289
@sheiladuke3289 4 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@josiahamaze
@josiahamaze 3 ай бұрын
We got this.
@italian1ist
@italian1ist Ай бұрын
Don’t ever give up!
@ewamackowska54
@ewamackowska54 2 жыл бұрын
You are a special Gentleman, God put you in this position of teaching the basis for life because you do have God's Spirit, God's knowledge, God's wisdom, God's humility, God's generosity, God's compassion. Thank you so much for allowing me to listen to you. Each of your word is worth a treasure. I am an immigrant in America, and thanks to you I start again having FAITH in American people.
@victorsofcircumstancesonso1606
@victorsofcircumstancesonso1606 5 ай бұрын
You allowed yourself to listen to him, all he did was give the opportunity for those that were ready to do so, and you are apparently ready. So thank you for allowing yourself to be humble enough to receive what he has been given to offer. Thank you for becoming, someone more in alignment with God’s will, who you really are, who he wants you to be, and someone who I would be happy to run into one day❤
@VeganismIsDeath-cz9mn
@VeganismIsDeath-cz9mn 4 ай бұрын
Imaginary friends have nothing to do with this great man's work.
@josiahamaze
@josiahamaze 3 ай бұрын
I love my imaginary God. I love that my reality is literally created in my IMAGINATION, therefore making him realer than anything in my reality. Humans really think they understand reality.
@VeganismIsDeath-cz9mn
@VeganismIsDeath-cz9mn 2 ай бұрын
@@josiahamaze LOL, that's the stvpidest thing I've heard in a while. Thanks for the laughs!!
@marty4268
@marty4268 3 жыл бұрын
its definitely 100% worth staying with it. thanks Tim
@jaimiejin7992
@jaimiejin7992 12 күн бұрын
Thank you for explaining the mechanisms as to how it works, Mr. Fletcher. I've noticed that about myself - I can't delay gratification, and I want it right now. That's exactly what happened to me I think, as I couldn't have a safe, peaceful and happy environment in my early years, now when I see anything, I am still behaving like a child and I want gratification right now. I feel I have no self-control, and that's a big problem.
@taylored8819
@taylored8819 3 жыл бұрын
This was on time!!! Thank you some much for this teaching I needed to hear this
@basiabarbara3365
@basiabarbara3365 3 жыл бұрын
This is brilliant!
@cadebell1751
@cadebell1751 2 жыл бұрын
I am learning a lot by your discussions, it has been helping in my mental and emotional recovery. I would like to see more examples with the emotional abuse women do to men , this would be helpful to men in recovery . My experience in life has been surrounded by toxic and self center devaluing women . This is everywhere today. Most women are manipulating men everyday then shaming them . address this more , men are tired of being best down by every turn in our society. Hold women accountable for there actions as well. Keep up this work it is helpful, I am literally to a point were I understand I do not know how to function with out shame, guilt and fear running the subconscious. What I am finding I dono have another subconscious running so things are blank in regards to living life and wht I do, my internal systems are messed up. I am now having to consciously add meaning to actions . Which is what I wanted , I just didn’t know it would be like this, I expected healing shame and guilt would put automatic new purpose and emotions, instead it seems I have to consciously put in the info. It’s like I am starting all over.
@complexjanedoe
@complexjanedoe 2 жыл бұрын
I just want you to know as a woman I do agree with you and feel compassion for you. And also DUDE I am literally going through the same thing. I thought healing shame and guilt I was automatically gonna feel worthy and have purpose but you have to wire in new info. It really is starting over ....I couldn't label or describe my experience but you just did. Thank you for sharing bc I felt crazy and just dazed in confusion. I have alot of appreciation for you sharing your experiences. You have no idea or maybe you do what you just did for me. Thank you so much!!!
@josiahamaze
@josiahamaze 3 ай бұрын
Man say it louder please.
@ilovesamyo
@ilovesamyo 3 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this today.🤍🙏🏼
@hman9581
@hman9581 Ай бұрын
52:00 - This lifetime is short - To chase gratification, is like Instant Gratification.
@indigosmyth7475
@indigosmyth7475 3 ай бұрын
I have that self of entitlement and try to keep it in check by monitoring my instant gratification attitude to the best of my ability
@HappyHolyHealthyLife
@HappyHolyHealthyLife 2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely fantastic 👏
@onsnagati2828
@onsnagati2828 3 жыл бұрын
this is amazing thank you
@user-jl4gh9pe8b
@user-jl4gh9pe8b 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for the explanation and ur wisdom. You are my blessing
@ThingsILove2266
@ThingsILove2266 2 жыл бұрын
I was watching these in order but skipped # 18 to get here. Prob should watch this twice:)
@UnapologeticGen
@UnapologeticGen 3 ай бұрын
help me a lot... thank you
@shelteredsparrow2736
@shelteredsparrow2736 Ай бұрын
Great video
@mas7241
@mas7241 3 ай бұрын
You are a genius sir.
@maximwilson1482
@maximwilson1482 Жыл бұрын
This so fascinating…parallels what ray dalio has said about the rise and fall of empires.
@kimpuchek1956
@kimpuchek1956 3 жыл бұрын
Tim Fletcher references a talk on true happiness. How do I find this talk? It’s about 49 minutes into tonight’s talk. Thanks so much!
@marty4268
@marty4268 3 жыл бұрын
maybe this one kzfaq.info/get/bejne/eZ2fZJap0b_Wc5c.html
@IrishGal690
@IrishGal690 5 ай бұрын
Love Bruce!!
@lukebravin
@lukebravin Жыл бұрын
This speech is super helpful and really shone some light on what I'm feeling! Also, not to be pedantic, but the 40 million bits per second, is only 5MB which isn't really a lot haha
@nathanburget
@nathanburget 4 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@hman9581
@hman9581 Ай бұрын
33:00 - Changing your sub-conscious
@mohmedyzed8920
@mohmedyzed8920 2 ай бұрын
THNX ALOT,,,MY MOTHER LANG is arabic,, im suffring to understand wht u say,,,despite that it was usefull
@pugninja7037
@pugninja7037 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, taken years to get where I am , still going with these opposites.
@myphonyaccount
@myphonyaccount 15 күн бұрын
29:45 owners manual
@pureorganic9189
@pureorganic9189 4 ай бұрын
I found you about two weeks ago. I LOVE it!❤ thank you🙏. Simone (Norway)
@indigosmyth7475
@indigosmyth7475 3 ай бұрын
If the culture is that of our society to remain children mentally - that appears to have the possibility of a society being controlled easier
@alexandriarcollins
@alexandriarcollins 13 күн бұрын
Good point
@mandohoney
@mandohoney 4 ай бұрын
rescue animals heal with a loving human...they dont need to revisit the trauma...constant revisiting of trauma is trauma...counseling enslaves a person to revisiting and focusing on their traumatic past...instead of just being around safe healthy people to model...thats how we let go and grow...love heals...remembering just brings hurt...force a rescue animal to remember what happened to them?...no way...
@annamaria9899
@annamaria9899 3 ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@starmax1o1
@starmax1o1 4 ай бұрын
This isn’t a problem for me because I don’t belief I deserve to have my needs met let alone to have pleasure and nice things. I work very hard to even justify taking care of myself. Only time I deserve care is when I’m sick and now I keep having new issues pop up but I also get frustrated for taking time off work and have to work even harder when I’m better to justify care.
@anonomyss
@anonomyss Ай бұрын
So the advice is just knowing that the best things in life take a while to work towards?
@sarahg1077
@sarahg1077 2 ай бұрын
When Christian women are told they can never deny their husband sex…. Which is allowing their husbands to have INSTANT GRATIFICATION whenever they want because their spouse is brainwashed to never say no. Doesn’t matter if the wife doesn’t want to, they have to. Doesn’t matter if their (child) I mean, husband is using sex to cope with some personal issue (negative emotions), the wife HAS TO give him that instant gratification. The husband will never have to mature and grow. I think sex in marriage, especially among Christians is so messed up. Something needs to change. Tim Fletcher should be spokesman for teaching the world.
@YouTubeUserToo
@YouTubeUserToo 4 ай бұрын
Story of my 20’s & 30’s
@harbor7329
@harbor7329 3 жыл бұрын
There probably was no poison ivy in the garden of Eden. Even though they were naked they probably never were uncomfortable, bugs probably didn't bug them. the other shoe was never about to drop, etc. ,etc. There were no Joneses to keep up with.
@bevsofroniuk1193
@bevsofroniuk1193 2 жыл бұрын
*darn* no INSTANT fix!!
@rickysmith5123
@rickysmith5123 2 жыл бұрын
I NEED HELP?
@nyiabarijoseph
@nyiabarijoseph 2 ай бұрын
30:13 your subconscious brain is not able to generate change😮
@taoyoka
@taoyoka Жыл бұрын
What about all the people the were killed in the name of Jesus as well?
@danmalone5365
@danmalone5365 2 жыл бұрын
Don't forget talking about painful events doesn't necessarily establish community often quite contrary. People who get stuck in their grief is one reason why trauma victims withdraw until they learn to edit stories into a more palatable story. What was it like for you growing up peaches and cream and chocolate chip cookies. What's for dinner Jack Daniels essential ingredients for a healthy body. Pay me now or pay me later, but you will pay. Instant gratification 56 years as a pack mule with blinders boy that was a long time of instant gratification. Because work was the only thing that made any sense. Everything else was abstract strange, not like inanimate objects like a chair for instance had function, purpose. Now a whining kid, I will slap that attitude right out of you.
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