@johnmckown1267 5 ай бұрын
A flower? Without first making sure the alleged "burgler" isn't allergic? How cruel and insensitive. You'd probably be held responsible for medical treatment and assessed penalities for lost work. You can't just flagrantly wave flowers around. They're dangerous.
@mgtowdadYouTubeSucksCoxks 5 ай бұрын
#BanAssaultFlowers
@pan0si 5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@pauldegregorio6432 5 ай бұрын
That flower was a protected species. 5 year minimum for picking it (on YOUR property).
@mustangracer5124 5 ай бұрын
People don't think anymore..
@transparentglazier 5 ай бұрын
I would suggest a plastic flower, but that might create a scene about the climate crisis
@SmoothJK 5 ай бұрын
I'm offended that you assumed the burglar was a bad guy. Might be good, might be a gal. How dare ye.
@anthonyhansel9175 5 ай бұрын
Let's not forget about the possible misgendering of said burglar.
@abadran8174 5 ай бұрын
Yes, they them messed up big time when they assumed the burglar's gender.
@Robeebert 5 ай бұрын
@@anthonyhansel9175 only white men can be portrayed as bad, remember?
@ericskinner4209 5 ай бұрын
Or a unicorn
@igorlopes7589 5 ай бұрын
They might be not be either guy or gal, how dare you erase non-binary people!!!
@bootneylee9802 5 ай бұрын
Also throwing a handful of glitter can temporarily blind the burglar allowing you time to call a social worker. ☝️
@KH-rt3ef 5 ай бұрын
Interpretive dance can also bedazzle and entertain the burglar into recognizing the common humanity between the two of you. They may even monetarily tip you for your efforts!
@IwantTheTruth61 5 ай бұрын
😂😂
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
Oh please stop 😂😂 I just can't..🤣🤣🤣😭
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
@@KH-rt3efSo, so funny! This group of commentators are so unbelievably clever and scathing I'm going to be laughing into next week. Thank you 😅
@itsmejerkface 5 ай бұрын
EXCELLENT! Ha Ha Ha
@duroncrush 5 ай бұрын
They missed posting a "Safe space, no guns allowed" sign on your door. The burglar will have to return to his car to put they/them gun into a secure lockbox
@samhershey4644 2 ай бұрын
This is seven MORE tips, your tip was in the first video
@raptordave 5 ай бұрын
Just tell them that you don't consent to being shot.
@dr.penguin9412 2 ай бұрын
I just have a “gun free zone” sign outside my house. It makes it to where if they do enter my home, they are unable to do it with their firearm. This significantly decreases any danger 1000 fold, as they will be unarmed at that point.
@jeffreyolp4198 5 ай бұрын
Let’s not forget how safe Detroit is. Especially at night. Just heaven.
@jonathanlong6987 5 ай бұрын
Obviously the BB hates the Lions, Pistons & Tigers.
@ericsfishingadventures4433 5 ай бұрын
Ad a lifetime 😢 resident of Michigan I approve of this message
@bodhi1762 5 ай бұрын
reminds of this one image of Santa saying “Damn, I gotta go to Detroit.” while putting on a ballistic vest
@TheFredmac 5 ай бұрын
To stay safe in Detroit, I go no farther East than Lansing.
@veganconservative1109 5 ай бұрын
Your next residence will shortly BE heaven if you go to Detroit at night.
@peacefulviking 5 ай бұрын
Remember to ask the alleged "burgler" what they identify as if the respond "The homeowner" make sure to affirm their identify and give them free access to all there new possessions.
@MattFoley-nz2cp 5 ай бұрын
“Most of the time this trick works, every time” 🤣🤣🤣
@Utahskiing1 5 ай бұрын
"My name is Travis And I'm here to say That robbing homes Is super.....not good" interesting rhyme scheme!
@jeskahaley9616 5 ай бұрын
Gay🎉
@sensei9295 5 ай бұрын
Synonyms?😂
@Mausertwo 5 ай бұрын
@@jeskahaley9616could have been not okay too lol
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
@@jeskahaley9616that is automatically where my mind went! Yet we can't damage someone that emotionally by... rhyming 😆
@gunsgalore7571 5 ай бұрын
He could have just said "is not okay." That's actually what I thought he was going to say.
@jefferydebbink282 5 ай бұрын
“Keep voting for Democrats” (puts up a picture of Mitt Romney) 😂😂
@danielwessel9884 5 ай бұрын
I totally missed that! Nice catch.
@jonathanlong6987 5 ай бұрын
@@danielwessel9884 I, also.
@matildarei 5 ай бұрын
I literally lol’d at that part.
@immikeurnot 5 ай бұрын
But where's the lie?
@alkay1774 5 ай бұрын
🤣
@conflectiz 5 ай бұрын
Tell the robber you have rights and you’d like to speak to his supervisor to file a complaint.
@blackbetty-id1zo 4 ай бұрын
I love the Babylon Bee.. they put woke Saturday night live to shame 😂😆🤣😆
@robgrey6183 5 ай бұрын
I am watching the world burn from the mountains of Wyoming. There is a handgun on my nightstand, and a rifle in my closet. I am strangely at peace.
@gyllenspetzfamily7993 5 ай бұрын
Same.
@MillennialForChrist 5 ай бұрын
You wouldn't happen to be a Christian and single would you😅? Because that is kind of 🔥 😊
@umaikakudo 5 ай бұрын
But how many rounds of ammo do you have? I can't sleep at night without anything less than 5,000 rounds for every caliber firearm I own, and 1,000 rounds for every chambering I don't yet own but will soon collect them all.
@NareshSinghOctagon 5 ай бұрын
@@umaikakudo ,thank goodness for the sponsor of this video!
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
Do you need any Laborers on that plot of yours? As a single mother ( I was married and not single by choice) of two beautiful and still sane, Republican, based teenagers I would give up my job as a 911 operator in Milwaukee Wisconsin (which is no better than our neighbors in Chicago, just smaller) to get them away from this dangerous, toxic place, even if that meant hard physical labor and shoveling horse manure! Just saying...
@challenger2ultralightadventure 5 ай бұрын
I was sure Portland would be on that list of "safe" cities.
@dougearnest7590 5 ай бұрын
In this socialist utopia, there are just too many safe cities to list.
@DerekWhite-yx2ce 5 ай бұрын
New Orleans also
@joedirt3563 5 ай бұрын
Portland is still in the top 10.
@lordandrewbruceofthemcinne5046 5 ай бұрын
I'm not even American (Aussie here) and I was wondering what about Seattle, WA?
@narref04 5 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, Portland has been under martial law for 3 years and no one actually knows how unsafe it is... no one has made it out alive!
@night_wolf360 5 ай бұрын
You for got one. Just sing the following "No, no, dont touch me there. This is my no-no square"
@dougifresh4422 5 ай бұрын
2:01 you know exactly what he was gonna say to rhyme with say 😂
@jonathanlong6987 5 ай бұрын
The ammo ad at the end triggered me! I need a safe space & a hug.
@JohnBrown-ig5nc 5 ай бұрын
I'll give you a hug in exchange for ammo
@epgamer1145 5 ай бұрын
Here, take my social media account. It has 30 second shorts for you
@jonathanlong6987 5 ай бұрын
@technofrenzy777 A truly unintended pun. I was just triggered. OKAY?
@Blake4625kHz 5 ай бұрын
@@jonathanlong6987 Like KPOW KPOW KPOW triggered?
@jonathanlong6987 5 ай бұрын
@@Blake4625kHz Nah. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychobabbly triggered. My blanky & pints & pints of chocolate ice cream got me through it.😉
@johnluke4718 5 ай бұрын
I just have a doormat that says "The Neighbors Don't Like Guns."
@richierich831 5 ай бұрын
I don’t have to run faster than the bear I just have to run faster than the neighbors 😂.
@serfcityherewecome8069 5 ай бұрын
@@richierich831🤣
@joeszymanski3540 4 ай бұрын
😂😂 Nice!
@keeganlaird6491 3 ай бұрын
jok bad
@aidanbaker6085 3 ай бұрын
@@keeganlaird6491 Shut up Keegay.
@steverivera4916 5 ай бұрын
I loved the "swiper no swiping" part. I laughed out loud.😂
@Alan.jn02 5 ай бұрын
Same lol
@jasonambrose99 3 ай бұрын
@@akosreke8963Dora the explorer
@bestthingsinceslicedrice 5 ай бұрын
I was talking to my brother in law who immigrated to Australia where he mentioned he wants to get a baseball bat for self defense. I asked him if he should consider getting a gun or any other things. Long story short after I found out their laws, I am so grateful here in America specially in Texas, they give us the freedom and choices to protect ourselves from criminals
@tahliasgoddaddy 5 ай бұрын
Yeah. Australia confiscated all guns a few years ago.
@Based_Gigachad_001 5 ай бұрын
@@tahliasgoddaddy Yet they still shoot cats? What a backwards country.
@lissainlenoir 3 ай бұрын
No mere mortal can ever give you the right to self defense....that comes from Divine Authority.
@Based_Gigachad_001 3 ай бұрын
@@lissainlenoir What are you yapping about?
@bestthingsinceslicedrice 3 ай бұрын
@@lissainlenoir so if a criminal wants to do harm against me and my family I should just let them right? Im a religious man myself but God did not teach us to be a pushover.
@russsmith1252 5 ай бұрын
I tried these, but the bad guy drove off in his Lincoln Riley with all my stuff.
@randomsimpson 5 ай бұрын
That's ILLEGAL. I hope you told the pigs, so it's not UNDOCUMENTED
@larrydotson2625 5 ай бұрын
That's really not funny, you're not making a joke at his expense you're making it at hers
@bendgeddes 5 ай бұрын
Assumption of “Guy” as a pronoun!? 😮
@lord_wyran 5 ай бұрын
FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS youre just a lying republican!
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
@@larrydotson2625it's a little funny in a 'ooooh ouch' kinda way. Dark, dark humor is used not to be 'ha-ha' funny, it's meant to be so ironically true you can't help but to either laugh or cry and it literally says the quiet part out loud, the absolute insanity of an insane situation. The fact the commentator used 'Lincoln' instead of 'Laken' proves he knew he was intending to 'go there' and I say good on the poster. Words aren't violence and what he wrote puts it in such a glaring spotlight you are forced to confront the ridiculous atrocity of a situation. I am a 911 operator in Milwaukee WI or as we like to call it 'Little Chicago' and many of us use this type of 'humor' to get through. The poster using the Laken tragedy shows Laken has actually been at the forefront of his mind because it disturbed him (or her?) so much. We can't censor speech no matter how uncomfortable.. that's how we got in this position in the first place Peace ✌️
@mrmainevent1872 5 ай бұрын
Right when I think I'm not going to learn anything new today, Babylon Bee teaches me something new.
@lisarodriguez2926 5 ай бұрын
The Babylon Bee is the Gift that keeps on giving🥰
@mfar3016 5 ай бұрын
I find that if you keep a diffuser, filled with the least popular essential oils near your door, you can deploy it at a moments notice if you hear an intruder! It’s sustainable & environmentally friendly!
@christineshotton824 5 ай бұрын
Truly appreciate all of the work, intelligence and creativity you put into this. Should have many laughing and crying at the same time. *NAILED IT!*
@brianwaldo2642 5 ай бұрын
Here in Canada, we’re not allowed to defend ourselves against home invaders. So, in order to not get injured by the perpetrators, we’ll make them a snack and carry the goods out of the house for them while they eat and relax. And then we hope they don’t sue us for something offensive we might have said. Oh, did I mention that we have a left wing liberal government here?
@robertsims3759 5 ай бұрын
Trudeau is like a younger version of Sleepy Joe. I bet he's glad there's no pesky 2nd Amendment.
@KENTUCKYUSA1 5 ай бұрын
Eh?
@mediaboyz9848 5 ай бұрын
Too bad eh sneak down to the USA no wall there
@a64738 5 ай бұрын
What Canada has is WEF minion government... Trudolf is a WEF "young global leader" and half the parliament is also WEF minions. WEF works to enslave 99,9% of the world population and is hell bent on making the entire world into a paradise for the 0,1% hyper rich.
@joedirt3563 5 ай бұрын
@@robertsims3759Justin TURDeau*
@robertjensen1438 5 ай бұрын
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, and sure enough, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. She gets so angry and opens her purse to take out the gun. But then, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "Don't do it honey". The blonde yells back, "Shut up, you are next."
@IsabellaM._ 5 ай бұрын
😂😅
@dougearnest7590 5 ай бұрын
Interesting story. It's not often you see a Biden voter with a firearm.
@NRDavis-wl8vn 5 ай бұрын
Screenshot!!! Going to send this one to my ex! 👍✌️🥰😎
@davidthelander1299 5 ай бұрын
As a blond (now a grey), I approve of this message ..
@scott88008 5 ай бұрын
Even my blonde wife thought that was hilarious!
@bentullett6068 5 ай бұрын
Seeing this as a person from the UK our armed criminals tend to turn up with knives or a base ball bat (yes the crims think that a baseball bat is some sort of GTA weapon). To protect ourselves you find anything to throw or hit them in self defence, but it must not kill them as the innocent homeowner is then classed as a murderer. Yet our government still allow people to arrive into the UK who come from countries where theft is a daily job.
@LittleKitty22 Ай бұрын
I'm in the UK too - yup, and we women are not allowed to carry pepperspray for self defense. Longstanding victim of the grape gangs here... police keep arresting ME each time I try to report the gang or so much as cry out "leave me alone".
@slaphappypappy3782 4 ай бұрын
LOL the sarcasm runs deep in this! 😂
@barbaraedmonds8381 5 ай бұрын
My alarm is Kamala Harris laughing. Works every time.
@handbananaistherapist642 5 ай бұрын
That is just . . . awful
@dougearnest7590 5 ай бұрын
Indeed, subjecting someone who has come to rob or kill you to a Kamala Kackle could result in your losing everything in a lawsuit. @@handbananaistherapist642
@Mooskellunge 5 ай бұрын
The thief may be evil... but you're a monster!
@KENTUCKYUSA1 5 ай бұрын
Well, that sleep-preventive method would get you up really early in the morning.
@a64738 5 ай бұрын
To harsh, that is just to harsh....
@scottmccloud9029 5 ай бұрын
You forgot to mention putting up several Gun Free Zone signs. They work so well in the New York subways that the city is bringing in the State guard to infringe on all citizens 4th amendment rights and 2nd amendment rights.
@zaffdos 5 ай бұрын
That was in the first video, this is even more ideas
@stevieg2755 5 ай бұрын
Yes that will stop him dead in his tracks
@justforever96 5 ай бұрын
But that only works if the robber is armed with a gun. Totally ineffective if they have any other sort of weapon.
@toldyouso5588 5 ай бұрын
Put up a sign that says Jehova's Witnesses, lives here. Knock and we will let you in.
@sharmanmurphree-roberts4018 5 ай бұрын
@@toldyouso5588😂
@deadlyapollo 5 ай бұрын
In our house, you have a Mossberg with a candy cane loadout: 1. Birdshot 2. 04 buckshot 3. 00 buckshot 4. Slug 5. Incendiary buckshot Luckily for my lawyer, after two break-ins, both burglers learned after round 1 not to stick around. Because I started with lowest level of force (for a shotgun) judge almost immediately dismissed the case.
@rado78231 5 ай бұрын
This is an awesome load out. 1. Please leave 2. I said "Please leave" 3. Leave 4. Leave now 5. You and all your related generations, past, present and future, will leave
@nickgiesler3141 5 ай бұрын
I call BS. First nobody uses birdshot for home defence. If you believe the threat is lethal you use lethal force if you don't then you didn't fear for your life. Lawyers will tear you apart. Second, nobody uses #4 and switches to 00, again if you feel your life is on the line you use 00. Third, a slug? Really? Yeah no chance to miss or over penetrate if you are that bad of a shot with buckshot. Fourth, incendiary buckshot? Okay so someone played too much Red Dead Redemption. Show me where you can get this incendiary buckshot, not the recipie from RDR. Fifth, you said "after two break-ins, both burglers learned after round 1 not to stick around." and " judge almost immediately dismissed the case." So was it one case or two? Post the link to the case.
@richardmerriam7044 Ай бұрын
The 'Candy Cane' loadout that I was taught is 00Buck, Slug, repeat as needed.
@theeverydayalpha 4 ай бұрын
The Antoine Dobson reference “snatching yo’ people up” climbing through windows. Great work.
@HolyDiverBronco 5 ай бұрын
Also, if you hang a no gun zone sign in your front yard, nobody will try to kill or rob you......All criminals, follow all rules, all the time....
@familytvbox5218 5 ай бұрын
Just think about it for a moment... How poor is your life, the life in your country if the only thing that is stopping criminals from killing or robbing you is the firearms you might have... Does your government even do something to protect you, and to make the wellness of your fellow Americans good enough, so they won't need to rob their neighbours?.. Pathetic place you are living in.
@fernandorochamedeiros5684 5 ай бұрын
@@familytvbox5218blah blah blah blah blah
@joeszymanski3540 4 ай бұрын
😂😂 They won't know what hit em when they see that sign!
@TheNewsInASL 5 ай бұрын
"My name is Travis and I'm here to say that robbing homes is super... not good."😂
@joeblow229 5 ай бұрын
I thought he was going in a very different direction there lol..
@Antioche 5 ай бұрын
That KILLED me! 🤣😂
@SergiuM42 5 ай бұрын
That got me good
@FullCircleTravis 5 ай бұрын
I felt that.
@axelhens7831 5 ай бұрын
Kinda gay tbh
@jm_sc 5 ай бұрын
You forgot the give them a book. "Less guns, more books" 😂
@yellowjacket588 4 ай бұрын
2:47 Wait did he say, these are the most “defective” methods to defer home invader! 😂
@user-ug2hk3go6i 5 ай бұрын
Hummm. I think the flower trick played some part in the 60s.
@geobloxmodels1186 5 ай бұрын
Kent think why you said that.
@user-ug2hk3go6i 5 ай бұрын
@@geobloxmodels1186Ha! Well played.
@asquare9316 5 ай бұрын
That is a true state-ment.
@davidt4102 5 ай бұрын
I leave my doors wide open with a sign that says "Go ahead, make my day".
@sadhappy8860 5 ай бұрын
Brilliant!
@IsabellaM._ 5 ай бұрын
😂😅
@_theknighthawk_7018 5 ай бұрын
Oooh wasn't there that case of someone trying to rob a GUN SHOP with a gun? Lmao that phase gives the same vibe.
@zandercage4383 5 ай бұрын
Since emergency response is long distance I must dial a 1 before 911. I guess that is 1911. Much faster response.
@a64738 5 ай бұрын
@@_theknighthawk_7018 That reminds me when I was in a gun shop in Trondheim Norway buying some P+ ammo for my Glock... The gun shop owner was really happy when he heard I had a Glock and pulled his own Glock from his his back to show it to me, he was carrying it ready to shoot any robbers lol ;) In Norway it is pretty much illegal to carry a gun and it is very strict gun rules... (extremely few is able to have a permit to carry a gun). The gun store owner told me there had been a series of thefts from gun stores in the city, that was why he was carrying the gun.
@mcmogg_incmogg2080 5 ай бұрын
I named my rifle mayor McCheese because when he comes out it’s hamburger time.
@jarrod752 5 ай бұрын
_Swiper no swiping!_ Truth. Works every time.
@WadeWeigle 5 ай бұрын
I love that pic of Mitt in there with the Dems. Nice jab Bee!
@TheRickbrooks 5 ай бұрын
I'm Joe Biden and I approve this...ah... you know the thing man.
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
You...you dog faced pony soldier! 😂
@SCORCHED-EARTH 5 ай бұрын
is it MINNESOTA?
@gunwrencher1566 5 ай бұрын
Perfectly paired with an ammo ad.
@YamatoFukkatsu 5 ай бұрын
1:35 "Most of the time, this trick works...... every time." XD
@twistedexistence3603 5 ай бұрын
"Snatching yo people up" 😂
@justforever96 5 ай бұрын
"lock up to wife an kids!" Brings back memories man.
@jenniferoakley9950 5 ай бұрын
Hide yer kids, hide yer wives!
@mikaeljohansson1690 5 ай бұрын
@@jenniferoakley9950And hide yourself because they're raping everything out here.. Or something like that 😂
@jezebelrose6897 3 ай бұрын
And hide yer husband ‘cause they r*pin’ everybody out here. Glad I’m not the only one who caught that reference. Lol 😂
@elizabethsteele5291 5 ай бұрын
😀❤️🐝... "Ask to see the Home Intruder's Vaccine Card; since he is a "BAD GUY" - he will not have a Vaccine Card & will be forced to leave the premises. "...
@desdicadoric 4 ай бұрын
Try living in the UK. Where you aren’t allowed a pointy stick to defend yourself. 1:47 swiper no swiping 😂is 😂😂😂
@freedomnews7922 5 ай бұрын
You forgot one, leave the keys to your car outside. No need to cause the car thief to have a break and enter charge added to his rap sheet. This is actual police advice given in Toronto Canada.
@GeorgeLiquor 5 ай бұрын
The left doesn't hate guns. They hate YOU having guns.
@vidmasterK1 5 ай бұрын
Yeah because you all are so annoying with them. Like babies with pacifiers. And always with the ammosexual agendas too. Nonstop. You make guns almost uncool the way you act
@Vagabond_Warrior 5 ай бұрын
Because they know who the threat is to their fascist takeover of America.
@joedirt3563 5 ай бұрын
Remember guns kill people, people don't kill people.
@alberthayward5949 5 ай бұрын
Getagunbud. Chootem libmfcs
@raypurchase801 5 ай бұрын
This video is so good, I wanna Like it ten times. Same as Democrats voted ten times for Joe.
@SamuelVander 5 ай бұрын
Swiper no swiping had me dead.😂😂😂💀
@jose7391 5 ай бұрын
you could also go with the star-lord approach....DANCE OFF BRO!!! XD
@laurabaylessjohnson6749 5 ай бұрын
YOu had me at "Swiper, NO Swiping!," "AW, MAN!" 😂💀
@breezyx976 5 ай бұрын
You forgot to suggest calling the cops. It works great! (if they decide to show up before you get shot, and don't shoot you by accident)
@Mooskellunge 5 ай бұрын
"Call 911, and we'll get back to you in 5-7 business days-"
@icedriver2207 5 ай бұрын
@@Mooskellunge "We're sorry the number you have dialed is no longer in service"
@61rampy65 5 ай бұрын
@@MooskellungeAnd they will want to send a survey to you to "see how we did".
@user-mf4ni9ei3l 5 ай бұрын
Make sure all acorns are secured first!!!
@61rampy65 5 ай бұрын
@@user-mf4ni9ei3l Good one!
@Swampfox953 5 ай бұрын
All I have to say about any kind of gun restrictions/ control is out of my dead cold hands. I'm allowed to own a cannon if I so choose.
@xFR34KEEx 5 ай бұрын
by the sounds of your comment, you are a cannon short. i got you fam
@ericsfishingadventures4433 5 ай бұрын
You don't even need a 4473 (registration) for one either!
@Swampfox953 5 ай бұрын
@@xFR34KEEx What exactly are you trying to say James?
@Communistsarentpeople 5 ай бұрын
All weapons and explosives are covered under the 2A
@Swampfox953 5 ай бұрын
@@Communistsarentpeople Yeah and so your point being? Do you have to have certain classifications to obtain certain those ordinances as a civilian. Were you aware of that fact?
@lenagraham2093 5 ай бұрын
I totally get that “Swiper, no Swiping” reference!😂
@Chuck1284- 5 ай бұрын
Well done fellas - the ammo ad at the end was a master stroke and the $5 off is much appreciated!
@stevematthews684 5 ай бұрын
I had no idea of all these options I had. Thank you Babylon Bee, I can now sell my firearms to the gov't in a "buy-back" program and my family will be SO much better off.
@justforever96 5 ай бұрын
Shouldn't have them to start with, only terrible evil people who want to kill other people would own a gun to start with. But we may forgive you now that you have seen the light, as soon as you admit your white guilt and privilege and swear to devote your life to anti-racism (aka racism).
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
😂
@RandalF-259 5 ай бұрын
I am disappointed that you failed to use the method we required to use at the community college when I taught. We were required to announce to every class the first class meeting of every semester. "Nobody is allowed to set foot on college property if they are in possession." Ir really made us secure to know that the "bad guys" would never come on campus with a gun because they knew no one was allowed on campus with a gun.
@jaadow77 5 ай бұрын
Thing is, in a lot of places the no gun rule only applies to faculty, students and staff - has no effect on the other 99.5% of people in the state.
@justforever96 5 ай бұрын
@@jaadow77if a school says no guns on campus it applies to everyone. However if it's not a law it just means you will be trespassed, while students and faculty face additional sanctions. Not sure if any states actually prohibit guns on campus, they definitely do from public schools.
@jaadow77 5 ай бұрын
@@justforever96Yes, some states do prohibit on post-secondary campuses by law. In my case, my university does not post any signage. But HR policies affect campus people, but not visitors, legally.
@KH-rt3ef 5 ай бұрын
It is a fact that no bad guy has ever disobeyed a “weapon-free zone” sign (I’m being facetious).
@guy9146 5 ай бұрын
“My name is Travis and I’m here to say, robbing homes is super not good.” 🤣🤣🤣
@zgobermn6895 5 ай бұрын
'Swiper, no swiping!' 'Oh man!' 😂😂😂
@pmg-1 5 ай бұрын
You forgot BALTIMORE! 😂
@RipleysSanatorium 5 ай бұрын
Boom!
@NickvonZ 5 ай бұрын
I'm from Bodymore, Murderland!
@Blake4625kHz 5 ай бұрын
Heaven on earth right there
@serfcityherewecome8069 5 ай бұрын
If only we all could. .🤮
@gegaoli 5 ай бұрын
I plan to put up “ Danger: Radiation Past This Point” signs as well around said property.
@RockandrollNegro 5 ай бұрын
So you're inviting radiation to pass that point? Or did you mean "radiation _past_ this point"?
@gegaoli 5 ай бұрын
@@RockandrollNegro thx for the typo catch
@reallyrightpersonafycta4007 5 ай бұрын
2:52 ... Climbin thru yo windows .. Snatchin yo people up" ha ahhhhhh. Nice!
@danielruizdr 5 ай бұрын
The KIR AMMO ad at the end was the cherry on top. 😂
@mavixrox1657 5 ай бұрын
Love the smooth transition to an advertisement for an ammo company, who knew the advertisement would be the only helpful part of the video...
@Mrlebowski78 5 ай бұрын
Thanks Bee. Always need more ammo
@marycatherinerzetelny 5 ай бұрын
🤣Thank you Babylon Bee. Truth well said with dash of dry humor mix with hint of sarcastic wit! Luv your presentations. 😇 ❤🤍💙
@aniballecter6054 5 ай бұрын
What a beautiful love and peace video!...and the final ad to make thugs spend their money on useless weapons is great!!!
@buckberthod5007 5 ай бұрын
I love how at the end of the rap the burglar starts to level his gun at Travis, "Nah I ain't dealing with this crap"
@user-nb7co9hs3g 5 ай бұрын
That nonchallant "Snatch yo people up" had me rolling
@QuentinNeill 4 ай бұрын
LOL 1:05 “reparations… and how!” Oh man that’s off sides
@maxflaviohs 5 ай бұрын
an ammo ad, at the end of my gun-free home defense tactics video? Outrageous!!!
@JoelPerry1 5 ай бұрын
2:52 it's an older reference, but it checks out
@IstandwithIsrael236 5 ай бұрын
don't forget to tell the intruder "my lord is that legalllllll?"-nute gun rey
@kwestionariusz1 5 ай бұрын
My IQ decreased temporarly under 75 after this movie
@dougearnest7590 5 ай бұрын
This is why the waited until after Super Tuesday to post the video.
@johnbarney5787 5 ай бұрын
This is GENIUS!!! 😂😂😂😂 Keep it up! Thank you!!
@usarmyveteran177 5 ай бұрын
“Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm; but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.” ― T.S. Eliot
@k.p.1139 5 ай бұрын
Get your freedom seeds today! 😆😆
@SignorNessuno65 5 ай бұрын
The funniest part is that the criminal is white.
@joeblow229 5 ай бұрын
I was thinking the same thing, are we still pretending that crime is linked to economic status instead of genetics? Guess we're just ahead of the curve for noticing the world-wide patterns of behavior.
@greglast3610 5 ай бұрын
Finally, something said that is truly racist!
@Gun_Flint 5 ай бұрын
@@joeblow229 I hope that's sarcasm, or irony. Because it is not race or genetics that cause crime. Nor is it economic status. It's the degradation of morals, bad parenting, fatherlessness, and a society that glorifies cowards.
@serfcityherewecome8069 5 ай бұрын
Don't forget that BB is based in Stalinfornia; had the perp not been played by a white guy their bodies would be getting stacked in the camps as we speak.
@bernardlandymore7372 4 ай бұрын
But he identifies as black so all good.
@Navy_Army305 5 ай бұрын
“They climbing through yo window and snatching yo people up” that made me look up that viral ass video
@Joshua-hz8pm 2 ай бұрын
True story: Toronto Police (Canada) suggested that people leave their car keys near the main door so it is easier to be stolen. This is after few violent robberies.
@Jeskowner999 5 ай бұрын
the very nice man at the front door gave me a free supply of lead for recycling, right into my center mass, and even took unsustainable diamond jewelry from my great grandmother right from my closet! he was so nice and kind.
@shaventalz3092 5 ай бұрын
He also eliminated your carbon footprint for you. So considerate!
@Jeskowner999 5 ай бұрын
@@shaventalz3092 what a great man indeed!
@jadesea562 5 ай бұрын
We love you BB
@rickychargertruckrench4646 5 ай бұрын
I no longer own any firearms, as they now self-identify as long distance hole punchers.
@johnedgar7956 5 ай бұрын
This was HILARIOUS! I'm 1,000% sure that the "stick a flower in the home invader's gun barrel" is totally effective, and you'll have made a new best friend! HA HA HA HA 🙂
@threeballedtomcat9380 5 ай бұрын
I think I'll stick with a firearm.....But I LMAO at this !! Good job !
@williamcraig6377 5 ай бұрын
The Whitehouse today announced the redistribution of private firearms. "As presiment, Americans have too many, Israel and Ukraine have too little. We must share the wealth." said Jim Brandon.
@kqusa 5 ай бұрын
TOO bad. I lost mine during a hot air balloon ride .... 🤷🏼♀️
@_theknighthawk_7018 5 ай бұрын
*Insert USSR theme here*
@jamesclark4 5 ай бұрын
Ukraine is a communist dictatorship and they said they want war
@Rosie_C 5 ай бұрын
Ah come on. But the government already taken so much of our money to redistribute it, how will I afford more guns?
@vidmasterK1 5 ай бұрын
Good. Better than Deepstate Donald am I right
@ZephodBeeblebrox 5 ай бұрын
I'm old school. For urban combat they'll be facing a 9mm carbine. Good for ranges up to 1,000 yards but what with bullet drop and other visual obstructions, as good as I'll need for line of sight of up to 100 yards.
@rbrentw 5 ай бұрын
Agreed, the Desert Eagle is also so common among criminals.
@Meithighs 5 ай бұрын
hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands too cause they snatchin yo people up.
@KENTUCKYUSA1 5 ай бұрын
We do not need guns at our house. We have social workers.
@bethmcneill3310 5 ай бұрын
😆
@margaretmarr1 5 ай бұрын
😂 (I hope that was supposed to be a snarky comment!)
@richierich831 5 ай бұрын
No need for police send in the clipboards!
@mjf1036 5 ай бұрын
Yes, I just tore down that old "Protected by S&W" sign and have replaced it with "Protected by Flower Power". It looks so sweet set next to my "Hate Has Has No Home Here" sign. ❤😂
@CasbahRocked 5 ай бұрын
just wait for the Gattling Pea from Plants vs. Zombies! that'll get 'em!
@19mrroland 5 ай бұрын
These are great tips but im sticking with the home alone strategies! 🤔
@richierich831 5 ай бұрын
Setting up all those traps is a lot of work though, but like he said at the beginning of the video it IS OUR moral obligation to the burglar to find other ways.
@mariadelamain2520 5 ай бұрын
I have knitting needles 🙄
@jonathanlong6987 5 ай бұрын
😱
@IsabellaM._ 5 ай бұрын
You might take out an 👁 eye!
@mariadelamain2520 5 ай бұрын
@@IsabellaM._ 😇
@jakleo337 5 ай бұрын
Those 8 inch hat pins are so tight.
@IsabellaM._ 5 ай бұрын
@@mariadelamain2520 🙂🤣
@marshabaker6153 5 ай бұрын
👍Oh I feel so much better with all those great "protection" ideas!! Thanks! You guys Always have awesome ideas!
@Drewm000-z7f 5 ай бұрын
I’d be scared as hell if I broke into somebodies home and somebody held my ankle and started tinkling my foot with a feather😂😂
@Tommy_Two_Two 5 ай бұрын
I could swear this used to be a satire channel. 😂
@CasbahRocked 5 ай бұрын
thats what this is lol
@TheRighttoArmBears2022 5 ай бұрын
I have been doing it all wrong, I have been buying a gun every time Biden said not to. 🤔
@dougearnest7590 5 ай бұрын
The secret is they really don't mind - they can use the tax money.
@TheRighttoArmBears2022 5 ай бұрын
@@dougearnest7590 That is true they get 11% that is suppose to go to wildlife management.
@doctorlightningsuper4211 4 ай бұрын
These guys stood up where the onions started to fall. Thank you for making these amazing videos.
@richardmerriam7044 Ай бұрын
I've tried them all! Now I'm dead and don't have to worry about being robbed any more. Thank you so much!
@albow4oops5 5 ай бұрын
Call the national guard, that's what New York does
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