I don’t think I’ve ever come across a mental health professional who was as concise and straightforward as you. You’re the kind of person who could wipe away any doubt a person would have about going to therapy. At least, that’s what I feel.

I'm 63. And now I'm learning what to look for in a healthy partner. I've always found myself with the first one who came into my life.

Thank you so much 😊 Counselor Carl!!! You are kind, intelligent, compassionate and just AWESOME!!!

I did all that, and still found myself a Narcissist, I asked him lots of questions, and listened and observed. He answered the questions; to my liking and showed me a promising future. But he also (unintentionally) showed me all my weak spots (weakness, where I had to strengthen myself) I knew intellectually what I had to do prior the relationship and during the relationship ( be a shopper, not a seller) but in the long run, emotionally, I wasn’t as strong of a person to keep him his Narc ways at bay…but through time I am getting wiser and stronger emotionally… I’ve learned (in life) you can be prepared so much beforehand, and you actually learn more about yourself and your partner DURING; while living your life with them…. Just like raising kids, or seeing your parents get old, or seeing family members die. You can only be prepared so much, the rest you learn along the way.

this works with friendships also. Coming from neglect I didnt know I could have needs. It is wonderful knowing someone can meet those needs and you dont have to force it, dont have to make someone care about you.

So very spot on. After 2 abusive relationships im on a journey of healing & awakening. This has defintely helped me understand even further once im ready to move forward with dating. Thank you.

Thank you so much, this is golden advice and I will use these words of wisdom, especially be a shopper, not a seller 🍀🌟

Another great video Carl, thank you! I found that your advice could also translate across to ALL relationships; family, friends and work colleagues alike.

Counselor Carl, I've read a lot of books on codependency, relationships etc. but I've never understood the problem as well as after listening to you. Thanks so much for putting these videos and your wisdom out there!

This is the wisest advice I have ever heard about relationships.

I love your videos: short, straight to be point with excellent tips!

This is a great video, thank you. As I'm learning more about shame/inner child healing, I'm starting to finally comprehend why I have such a crippling reaction when a relationship ends no matter the length. This is why I rarely take romantic risks, but I want to change that. In one of your future videos, could you talk a little about the dynamics of shame and romantic rejection? Thank you, Sevinc

Excellent presentation. Thanks Counselor Carl.💙💫✨

Beautiful presentations Carl. Conceptually perceptive and wise, well organized and concisely communicated. You're a teacher's teacher.

This is good stuff.. I think it is more about picking me then picking the other person..

Excellent information! Thank you! I saved it for future reference!

Just what I needed to hear

awesome tips,thanks dude 😊

this video advice is my fav...thank you CC!

Another great video. Thank you, it really puts things in perspective and I know I am slowly but surely realizing the differences in my relationships and where I have made mistakes. Again thank you 🙏🏼

i love your channel so so much !

Thank you so much.

Great video. Thank you

I am a shoper, I have seen so many channels on youtube about codependency and I found that one :)

Wow.. this is healing

I wish i saw this earlier, it would've saved me so much trouble

Such great advice. Am trying to implement it when I can :)

Wonderful video Carl!

loved this! I am married but found this video helpful in other areas of life as well ^_^

Thank you!

Thank you so much once again!

Great tips!

Thank you so much sir for all of your videos. I've found them recently and it has greatly helped me 👍 I agree with being a shopper but what about if I feel the person is way too good/perfect for me ? That I don't deserve such a thing ?

Great tips!!!

really appreciate you !

Thank you!

thank u counselor! :-)

Just Wow.

I don’t find a shopper and can’t be a shopper. No one wants to buy a broken and ugly new thing . So I can’t even put myself out there to be shopped. And I can’t shop because it’ll be an offense to the person I want to shop. No one wants to be shopped by a broken ugly person. That’s the sad and ugly truth. If you don’t look a certain way you won’t get shopped. If I were to go to a store and had to pick between a brandnew fantastic functioning smartphone with no cracks, shiny and an equally identically functioning smartphone with aslo the same price but full of cracks and scratches I would never pick the latter. Same goes with people. Nowadays the outter shell counts more than the inside especially when a beautiful person has also a beautiful inside. Nobody wants an ugly person with a beautiful inside. I will hate myself for the rest of my life. Ugly people remain alone or come together with “ugly people” and then they contemplate about their frustration of being ugly together. But at least they are together.

I feel like I'm a shopper for toilet paper at the start of covid-19... Shelves are empty and there's a wait list! 😅😓

What if I was with someone who's wonderful and willing but eventually retracted (fear of intimacy) when at the height of bonding? Is it a red flag if she is communicating well and is trying but is struggling?

What do you do when someone is married to an unhealthy partner?

I don’t find a shopper and can’t be a shopper. No one wants to buy a broken and ugly new thing . So I can’t even put myself out there to be shopped. And I can’t shop because it’ll be an offense to the person I want to shop. No one wants to be shopped by a broken ugly person. That’s the sad and ugly truth. If you don’t look a certain way you won’t get shopped. If I were to go to a store and had to pick between a brandnew fantastic functioning smartphone with no cracks, shiny and an equally identically functioning smartphone with aslo the same price but full of cracks and scratches I would never pick the latter. Same goes with people. Nowadays the outter shell counts more than the inside especially when a beautiful person has also a beautiful inside. Nobody wants an ugly person with a beautiful inside. I will hate myself for the rest of my life. Ugly leiple remain alone or get to cone together with “ugly people” and ghan they contemplate about their frustration of bei g ugly together. But at least they are together.