Dear ENFPs, INFJ here. You’ve never once failed. Every “setback or failure” is just linked progress towards your next goal. Always a learning moment. I like being a mountain to your storms, I see through the mist, you will be okay.

1. Someone who supports your need for novelty/variety (while having a nice balance of grounding you) 2.High quality and intellectual simulation (who is curious, excited about life, looks at things in depth) 3.Someone who is confident enough to be okay with your huge social circle 4.Mutual autonomy (as an ENFP, you are really independent as well). We are not good at setting boundaries so having someone who already has a strong autonomy, knows their boundaries and has confidence is helpful. 5.Prioritizing experiences over the “material”. Example: A nice simply home close to fam/friends rather than a huge expensive house 6364 miles away. 6. Ability to also be fun, silly and light-heartedness 7. Someone who already has a strong sense of self so it minimizes you putting them on a (false) pedestal. 7. Someone who is excited for growth! Its so important for you to want to motivate, encourage and see best in people. Otherwise, you feel your gifts are wasted. Hence, find someone with a growth mindset

ENFPs are the most beautiful souls I have ever met, & I just want to see them shine! I'm an INFP myself, and to see someone who's so similar but also has such unique strengths & gifts to offer is phenomenal to witness! No one should feel like they have to stifle themselves or hide who they really are, and it saddens me to see ENFP making themselves smaller just to fit the views of their partners. Find someone who can meet you at your level so you can shine your brightest!

ENFPs are not looking for someone with all the answers, they are looking for someone who is asking the questions. Einstein said it: Don't listen to the person who has the answers: listen to the person who has the questions.

My ENFP brain is loving how fast you speak 👏

I agree, we shouldn't worry about the type. What we should focus on in a relationship is having a healthy shared growth.

Hi to every INFJ here,i see you're trying to learn more about your enfps too. I hope you all get the best in life🤍🌸

1. Open-minded and flexible people. Ne. 2. High-quality conversation. Their sense of wonder. The most curious people instead of people with the most info in their brain. The ability to be very mindful about their life they are living, the ability to observe their life in a way that is complex, nuanced, and in-depth. Fi likes to go deep. 3. The ability to be fun, lighthearted, and silly with your partner. Goofy and funny. Don't want things to be serious all the time. Drawn to emotionally or intellectually intense people, but the fun slowly drains out of my life. (My ex was that kinda person haha. Very intelligent but not relaxed.) You need something you can laugh with. A partner that helps you see the lighthearted side of things when you are feeling dark and heavy. It's a reminder that you can find joy in life and you can find humor in everyday scenarios. A lot of us are used to be that person for other people. It's really refreshing when we find a person who could ALSO do that for us. Life is very long. 4. Mutual autonomy. Independent, social, passionate. We are not naturally great at setting boundaries. A partner who has a natural sense of boundaries, who has their own interests. We are good cheerleaders, but we don't want to have to do that. We want to be in a supporting role. See someone's potential and push through it. 5. A strong sense of self who will not let you put them on a pedestal. 6. Someone who does not want to prioritize the material over the experiential part of life. Financially interdependent. How to spend their resources. 7. Not threatened by your social circle. Need very different relationships. Can introduce us to their awesome friends in their life. 8. Excited about growth. If someone doesn't want growth, it's hard to give we are naturally born to give in our relationships. Someone who likes to challenge themselves as much as you want to challenge yourself. Find a person with whom a relationship feels like opening more doors for you than is closing. Not trapped, confined.

I am an INTJ currently madly in love with an ENFP and I thought this video was adorable.

I’m an ENFP and my fiancé is an INTJ . He fits all these things on the list. He’s just so understanding, loving and patient❤️

I hate to admit that I laughed at the part about needing someone to talk to right up until death, because I know I’ll still have MORE to say! The beauty will be if I’m with someone who inspires me to shut up, because I want to hear what ‘they’ have to say. Wouldn’t that be something,…an ENFP who slips ‘quietly’ into that good night! 🌙

I can see how we INFJ's are attracted to your personality. I'm in my head a lot deep diving on various subject matters, I'm either in the past introspecting or in the future planning or going thru various scenarios to find the healthiest outcome. Being with someone that is constantly spontaneous gives me a relief from being deep in my own head by being in the present moment with someone (as opposed to being in the past or future in my head) there's less energy involved being in the present for the INFJ, it feels refreshing like a cool running spring (not stagnant). I like being exposed to different places and absorbing the arts and crafts of the place, and what people are like to flock there and why... it all expands my inner landscape (along with reading books), so I may appear reserve but I love new adventures. I have a multilayer personality that requires a hall pass for each layer to explore, I deep dive on a lot of subjects and I crave uniqueness, not a lot of people can get exclusive passes, and I'm okay with that, my V.I.P. rooms are well thought out, my safe places, and it takes a rare person to challenge those spaces to add color and depth. I love ENTPs for their devil advocacy, I don't see them as being argumentative, I know it's their way of learning and I welcome debating them. I am curious about ENFPs which is why I clicked on your video. So, far ENFPs are charming and I love curious thinkers. INFJs are natural nurturers, if my partner is stuck in a rut, my first thought is to get them out of it, so it's my turn to pull out a gem, to take charge, a change of scene, let's go to a place to take your mind off what's bothering you so you can get a fresh perspective on it (usually involves brainstorming with them to fit their particular mood) or I know which project they are most curious and care about, and I encourage them to work on it, my intent is to boost their self-esteem, I nudge them in the right direction by participating with them until they gain their own momentum, then it's back to my projects. Lastly, I know extroverts get a boost to their positive self-esteem by interacting with others, so I don't get jealous about them going out or bouncing to different people, hell.. I encourage it...an extrovert gets more energize by being a social butterfly only benefits me because I get that positive energy focused exclusively back onto me later: a win/win. Besides, how can I be jealous when it's me that's 0.05% of the population, how rare is that? *smirk* There's a symbiotic relationship when an extrovert understands that I need my own space and alone time to recharge my positive self-esteem energy which gets redirected back exclusively on them. Here's a free insight, people are attracted to similar IQ and maturity levels...INFJ are old souls trapped in a childlike wonderment of the world body, it's like our soul gets another chance to explore a big open playground, it's why we hate conformity. Our paradoxes are in harmony of each other, not in chaos...it's why we can go thru life alone exploring, and be at peace with ourselves.

Omg when you said we push ourselves so much we don't necessarily need someone else to push us -- THANK YOU! This was my biggest problem in my last relationship.. he didn't understand that I just needed support and his pressure just made me overwhelmed

I'm an ENFP and have been with my INTP for over 28 years now. We tick off the box on all 8 of these. Sometimes when we talk about one of the many places we've lived in that time, he'll say "We were completely different people then." And he's right. We can have deep conversations, and we have our silly, giggly times, too. He was already his own person when we met, so different from my ex. He enjoys my friends, but also encourages me to have with them on my own. It took me longer than it did you to find someone like this. But, we'll make the rest of each other's lives happy ones.

This is why I love ENFPs. I'm INTJ. I've never met an ENFP that I disliked now that I think about it

im in love with an ENFP. We did the MBTI after we had meet 6 months later. Im an INFJ. And Holy crap if she isnt imperfectly perfect for me. She reads me like a book like no one else has ever done before. I dont think she has shut her mouth for 8 months and i fkn love it. We seem to be on the same wave length but from opposite ends. Shes the one.

As an enfp who is married to an estj, he is goofy but extremely hardworking. He inspires me with his work ethic, cleanliness, self confidence, and loyalty to his family. He isn’t as intellectual or deep as some ppl but he is very smart in certain areas that I would never be interested in. Your spouse will never be everything for you so it’s important to have friends that fill those gaps.

1. Someone that won't limit your exploration 2.someone who you can have deep conversation with.

As an ENTP, I love ENFPs. OMG you can follow my desire of doing different things all the time, usually ENFPs encourage me talking about random interestings and I can have really good conversations with you cause you also love knowing about new information.

The fact that you said 'could I die talking to this person' makes it so weird because I say that all the time in dating. The point on mutual autonomy is so good for me. I used to think there was something wrong with me for wanting someone who just lets me go and play. However, when I'm with someone who is like me, boundaries disappear because I don't know how to set them! The point about someone who already has their own stuff going on is so right! Honestly Heidi for ENFP president.

INFJ here-- I found myself smiling through your whole video. If you are a typical ENFP, then ENFPs are very charming. :)

ENFP Artist married to an INFP Publisher for 23years. Oh Heidi - your videos are really helping me in so many aspects of life. One of my most basics needs is to feel SAFE while being myself. And to laugh! My INFP is my rock and my BEST FRIEND. He ticks all the boxes! ❤

I'm an ISTP. I'm married to an ENFP. For 20 years. It's working. We both have... particularized personalities with a romantic partner being a longshot. Together, we're an agreement, a partnership. He has to deal with the large volume of time I want to spend alone and I have to deal with his... boy scout like purity lol. So, if these two types are not suited for each other perhaps we're channeling a rare kind of opposites attract situation. We get this a lot: "why are you two together?" With the answer being both elusive and obvious simultaneously.

ENFP is my favourite type😊. INFJ here👁️‍🗨️

So glad you’re making content again! (Fellow ENFP)

This is 💯 accurate!!! As an ENFP, I wish I had this 15 years ago in my teens, it would’ve saved me from a lot of heartache and failed marriage with someone who I was not compatible with and wanted to change! 😔

I'm an ENTJ w/ an ENFP for 8 years. My best relationship. Never ever perfect, but closest I've ever gotten. We have lots of fun together and complement each other well. Everything you mentioned is definitely something that works well for us. Great video!

You nailed the list of key ingredients for a long and happy long-term relationship, Heidi. My wife and I have been married 42 years. She’s an ESFJ; I’m an INFP. We share a love of learning, of language and of music. We laugh often. I learn new things about her every day. We’ve had our share of difficult times, but each day is still a joy.

I’m an infp and I love being around enfp’s, they get me out of my shell in a way I love and I always feel very understood by them

I am an istp and my enfp wife. I got all 8 and I'm pretty she is happy most of the time, excluding those moments she has that I just try to help her with. Good job 👌👌👌

Spot on!! 🙌🏽❤ And your ENFP Soul Bootcamp was one of the best things I did for myself this year! It helped me to apply for a totally different kind of job and I actually got it! 🎉🎉🎉

It's rather cathartic to have someone explain my type's needs after a breakup. Thanks for putting out great content!

"Your life is never going to be perfectly consistent..." This makes so much sense haha, I even pray to be more consistent because I am always wanting to progress and feel like I can't because I have a whole new set of things on my mind when it comes time to practice consistency with a particular thing. Endless struggle.

This feels like the most resonant and helpful ENFP video I’ve ever seen! Thank you!!

So my boyfriend and I are both ENFP’s 😂 (it’s a lot, especially me in the relationship) 🎉 We became friends in 2015, started liking each other in 2016, and ended up dating 2 years ago. 😅❤ I couldn’t seriously be any more happy with him. At first when dating, we had rough months but afterwards we started understanding each other more. Now, I decided to do some homework of how we flow in each other’s personality. I’m so glad both of us are in the same page and vision to the journey of our relationship 😊 We NEVER have a dull moment since we’ve met.

Dear ENFPs, I love you. (INFJ). I just found one and I am absolutely fulfilled and comforted in her aura. She seems to doubt herself and feel as if she has to compare herself to others. ENFPs, you are more than enough for us INFJs. We love you. P.S. she says (the author of this videos) that there is no such thing as a perfect type for you….WRONG, INFJs, instant effortless connection. It’s more than obvious.

Great video again Heidi. As an INFJ not every single ENFP is my soul mate but my closest friends and best conversations seem to be. As a type they are often labelled as crazy cats...which is part of it haha but not much is said about the depth of conversation, and the beautiful ideas and thoughts you guys can come up with. I find ENFJs balance me out but with a focus on similar areas like growth, experience and wonder. This video completely explains my ENFP best friend. Our relationship is colourful, exciting, inspiring, deep and hilarious. ENFPs and INFPs are my faves ❤️

Me: ENFP. After being in a relationship with an unhealthy INFJ this post is like ointment to all my wounds he left me with- always trying to control me, degrading me for always trying to self improve, and never allowing me to have any level of certainty in the relationship while having stifling expectations of me(not allowing me to have my circle of various friends and socialization). After therapy and this video, I see that I was not the problem. Unhealthy INFJs are mind-fucking bad for us enfps. Healthier ones are rare to find now days as most of them have been snatched up. Healthy INFJ, where are you? I’m looking for you to be my man.

I can see why INTJ would be a good match for ENFP…as long as it’s a healthy version of one.

This honestly was so helpful to watch in terms of "why my marriage didn't work out." I've always felt a lot of guilt about the fact that I couldn't romantically love my ex. They're a great person, we have maintained a friendship, we never fight, etc. But this video hit on a lot of points that explains why they just don't "light my fire" so to speak. "Lower need for certainty, higher need for uncertainty and growth." Well, they're happy as a clam doing the exact same thing every single day/night and were highly resistant to any kind of novelty. Hah. Well that explains it! I appreciate it!

I'm such an ENFP... this was just so nice to watch and see someone gets you lol.

This is so true. I used to think relationships are constraining and such a hassle until now. Even friendships. Thanks so much!

I’m an ENTJ (INTJs cousin we have the exact same functions just different order) who dated an ENFP for a very long time and have had many ENFP friends. I will say you guys are EXTREMELY likeable. I have Ni as my second function so I love your intuitive nature. You guys have good ideas too and it’s very fun to go on these abstract mental adventures with you guys. I do have some constructive criticism to give, (assuming you’re an ENFP) so maybe you can work on this. As a dominant Te user, logic is my way of life (same with INTJs btw). My problem with the ENFP is it’s not possible to reason with logic. You guys just don’t respond to it no matter how hard I try to break it down. You guys will just do whatever the hell you feel like doing, and then you find yourself at 35 years old and still having done nothing with your lives (sorry if that’s a rude wake up call). The problem is you don’t listen to peoples advice no matter how much sense it makes. You’re more concerned with having fun and socializing that you avoid taking on any responsibility or boring tasks that bring you closer to your goals. Fortunately you’re very likable so you can pretty much just get other people to help you with the hard stuff, but how far can you really go if you never feel like taking on the workload? Of course it’s uncomfortable working on the process and I understand that being a low Se user definitely doesn’t make it easier for you, but you NEED to focus and work on that. Your functions are like a muscle and they will become stronger the more you use them. There’s much more to life then just shooting the shit with your friends and wasting all your time accomplishing nothing. Pick out a ONE goal, and work on it RELENTLESSLY. I know you guys have a new goal every week but really try to pick the most important one (buying a house, building a business, finishing school, learning a language, starting a KZfaq channel, etc). Quit chasing after fun all the time and go accomplish at least one thing and I promise you will feel so proud of yourself. You can start with working 10 minutes a day on your goal and slowly work your way up. The key is to be CONSISTENT and to do it every. Single. Day. With no excuses like oh I’m hungover, or oh I have to go to a party soon, or oh I actually my dog needs a bath. Just focus on your goal, and work until you’ve reached it. Quit fucking around.

Really useful. And I'm finding myself looking back at past relationships and seeing why they didn't work. ESPECIALLY about people being threatened by social circles or wanting to have variety. Very freeing to watch this and understand it can be asked for!

This is soooooo accurate!! Thank you so much for sharing! 💗 - ENFP

So ENFPs needs aren't just scented candles, self help books and Ancient Alien videos. Interesting. In all seriousness, ENFPs make it very hard not to like them. - INTJ

Thank you SOOOO much for this! It felt like such a verbal hug as you just got me [& nailed previous relationship issues]...I teared up in comfort as I felt so understood & validated. Makes so much sense & so helpful to keep in mind going forward, thanks again!💙😊

Wow, you really nailed it!!! I hear ya about not really liking to be constantly challenged, as in pushed or criticized. We do better when someone encourages us to challenge ourselves because we do that anyway. Someone who doesn't get annoyed by that or demand we are always consistent or stick to one thing. Someone who is our cheerleader for growth and exploration.

Having a challenging partner is soooooo stressful! We need to just chill out but be explorative too. They've got to be able to take a good old ear bashing 😂, have patience and understand that we're going to lose track of time. 6:23 Yep! 17:00 This is such an important factor!

Another great ENFP perspective. Totally matches up with the ENFPs in my life. Two of the eight you mentioned were especially applicable to this type over all others in my experience.

I still cant believe how someone can speak so directly to my soul!! Dang how precise can you be!!! I feel i have been lonely for all these years, im slowly getting there. Merci Heidi

this is such a wonderful video. i find myself really unenthusiastic about being in a relationship because of exactly what you said -- thinking that relationships have to be about being stagnant. I love that you emphasize that they can be about growth, this makes me excited to actually find that person I could grow with.

Wow! This was incredibly helpful!! I feel like dating is going to be soooo much easier now! All of these were SPOT ON!!!

you just blown my mind. new in the ENFP game and it's shocking how much information is out there. thank you!

Brilliant and mature conclusions! A relationship that OPENS us to the world vs closes us off?? Magic. I'm so happy for you that you've found that! Love your book and video content, and I think this is the best yet! Totally psyched for the attachment style vids. Isn't is so funny btw re us putting others on pedestals when we ourselves loathe having someone do the same to us? I once had to stop a group tribute to me in a goodbye lunch because it made me SO uncomfortable to be the focus in that way. Give me your attention and stories, sure, but hold the flattery. Oogie. For other ENFPs who have struggled with the same idealization issues, I will say that it's actually the unintended consequence of seeing everyone in terms of their best potential. That same quality is what makes us excellent teachers, coaches and cheerleaders. For years I had zero idea there was a difference between that potential and who someone was choosing to be in the world. Not everyone is going to be brave enough to show their whole selves all the time, which is brand new info for our type. It isn't actually fair of us to expect it, which also took a long time for me to accept. People must make their own choices, and some will choose to live smaller lives than we would wish for them. I think esp when we are younger, we don't appreciate that others often will show us their whole selves with the expectation that they won't be sharing that with others or the world at large. Those intense personalities we are so drawn to especially might use us as a safe harbor to hide instead of facing themselves and own challenges. Be aware of this in partner searches for sure. I love all this advice, Heidi!! Spot on!

Honestly, these are all really great points for friendships as well. All of my best friends fits these like a glove.

Wow!! I can relate SO MUCH to what you described… I finally feel like someone understands me! I feel so relieved. This is so so helpful. Thank you!

I don't need a partner different than my personality type to complete me like infj or intj, I am already complete, I just want someone to be with me happily and love me. So the best partner is enfp

OMG THIS IS SO ON-POINT

I am an ENFPs , I love u INTJ u are completelly challance for me ..❤❤❤

Wow, seriously checking all the needs as an ENFP! And better put to words than I myself could haha. Great list for dating again, so Tnx! 😄

This is the best video about ENFPs I have ever watched. This was amazinggggg!

This video had me like......sooooooooooo true all the time. I felt so understood. Like how is it possible someone can share what you've felt & thought🤗. Thanks Heidi this was super💥

Thank you so much for posting this! It’s quite accurate, many of these things I only recently realized. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I finally started looking for someone I can laugh with and accepts even enjoys all of my endless creative pursuits and ideas. Recognizing my value and how others see me was a huge step in my progress as well. Anyhow I love your videos you’re very good at what you do!! Thank you for making them!!!!

I've been wondering why my marriage feels suffocating for the past 3 years. Been told over and over again that marriage takes a lot of work, but the points highlighted here are so apt. I only learned about mbti a few weeks ago and I'm beginning to understand myself and my needs better. Currently my wife and I in a choatic rollercoaster ride and it has been taking a toll on me. And now I understand that it's because of our fundamental differences inv values and how we view life. From money to experiences to interacting with people. Now it's a matter of seeing whether this rnship can really work out.

Find all of this super relatable as an INFP.

This was spot on, Heidi! 🙌🏼

Great video, perfect summarisation! So hard to even meet such a person you described, talkless of mutualy falling in love with. But that would be AMAZING!

Thank you for this quality content !

This was absolutely brilliant. Thank you!

I’m glad that there’s someone out there resonate values that I need in partner to at I didn’t knew before, but I just keep thinking yes yes yes and yes and that’s right the thing we looking for , each point you talk about in clear way! Click click click, now I’m connecting the dots on why some of the so many things didn’t work and the way it was and how it can work and should work in a healthy way for us to breath and thrive. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day and weeks!!

High quality conversation! Please please please

wow... your content is mindblowing... thanks I never felt so heard and seen.. amazing

Your a lifesaver!! Thank you so much for sharing this

Omg!! You just ran down my whole list of the perfect, ideal person!! 🥰

Couldnt understand what i really want and drove myself CRAZZZYY. And here's how easy its cominb from you. Sending you big big big GRATEFUL LOVE AND LIGHT 😭💌💌💌

Wow...this is amazing 👏...helps a lot to hear this. Thank you. ❣️

Your hair is soooo beautiful! Thank you for making this video I really enjoyed it as well

I’m an INFPs and some of my very favorite people, including my significant other, are ENFPs. I love y’all for everything you listed. Something about that sweet, silly energy combined with deep and thoughtful idealism just hits me where I live and I can’t get enough of y’all ❤

I'm just starting to learn about this. I very much resonated with everything you said that is a priority for you.

@8:45 This has happened with me so many times...ugh. And you're right that we need to look for someone who can laugh and encourage our silly side, I knew my husband was the one when I felt comfortable being goofy as well as going into deep conversations...all within like a 7 minute span. I could wake up with him and talk to him forever.

Wish I had this FANTASTIC information 30 years ago! Thank you.

This is such a good list! You know my partner, Christian Rivera, amazing INTP and such a perfect compliment for me. I'm so thankful for him.

I am ENFP and my gf is INFJ and she is the best person ever! We do silly things together, like writing funny (nonsensical for most people though xD) things on the ground with chalks and laughing when someone stops and reads them. I am always up to any funny and silly thing and she supports me well. She is a blessing

So glad to have found your videos/wisdom...

Im a ENFP of 20 years old and your video help me a lot, because I was lost about what Im looking in a partner and you help me a lot. It’s nice to feel understand thank you

Thank you! This video was very informative and resignated a lot. One of the most insightful videos for me on a personal level I've seen in a while ❤

Amazing! Thank-you, INFP with an ENFP son, just sent this to him. Btw, you're absolutely stunning! 🤎💜

Thank you. :) Even being within your video by a few minutes, I love it already. :D I agree with so, so much of the content! - A Fellow ENFP

Thank you Heidi for what you do. Your video's are Top Quality and extremely helpful and practical. I will be using what your saying here to guide me in deciding about relationships❤

Wauw this was really food for thought. Thank you!

As an ENFP the best fit for me is an ENTP. Being married to one is awesome, provides all the elements you described. It's the BEST. :D

The only problem I have with people is when they start to ignore my insight or try to discredit me because I don't approach things the way they approach it, so they'll be passive aggressive. Passive aggression is still aggression, and I will not stand for that.

INTP here, and I just found your channel after getting blasted by an ENFP hater in the comments section of another well-known M-B KZfaqr. I got blasted because I posted a short, positive comment about my relationship with the most fabulous ENFP man! I was told how an ENFP would lie, and cheat, etc. etc. because of their need for variety. Yeah. No. I understand and recognize when people have a very superficial view of MBTI. I loved this video! And I was checking through all the boxes as you went 1 through 8. I think I swore at #5 (?) the "don't put your partner on a pedestal" one, because I see that happening. I'm definitely going to suggest he and I watch this video together and discuss that issue, and also high-five each other because yes! We can talk and talk and he encourages and he nudges this typical INTP introvert out of my comfort zone (in a corner with my laptop or book or both). Our N & P's just SING together. His Fi knows how to engage my Fe. Perfect. ♥ (I may be the one putting HIM on a pedestal. :) )

Thank you for making this videos they are so helpful, informative and motivating

😱 didn't know the author of the INFP book has a yt channel. Thanks for the book though it really made me feel understood. ❤❤❤❤

My crazy ENFP self loves an INTP. We are so perfectly imperfect.He literally studies me and always gets it right and has mad skills especially when we are alone❤️..ya know... Gush

I just ended a 15 year marriage and as I'm listening to this I understand why it didn't work and why I felt so dead inside while we were married 😩

Awesome video and yes all very on point and helpful, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu

Awesome video - thanks for sharing Heidi 😁