Shut up you idiott

I'm going to use retardis in day to day life now. Just wanted to let you know that someone else would using your material.

Headin in a pig … mouth or arse?and it’s not only parasitic USA parasitic symbiosis 👎 this is not my James T Kirk it’s liberals swill💩🥱💨👻

It’s not that you have odd taste it’s taste in the classical sense… beautifully intelligently executed 👍❤️

It's still cathartic though.

Also, kinda make me wanna play Mass Effect again after the short clips of the Collectors.

Star Trek Deep Space Fe-Fe’s. Now with plot…..sort of

A lot of these videos are better than the shows they react to, and review. It sort of shows what a sad state of affairs that TV/Hollywood is in, right now.

STD - the show about a new licence that fooled the world in thinking it’s set in the same fictional universe as TOS to ENT. Spoiler… it’s not. When JJ created the Kelvin universe he tricked people into thinking it was an alternative to TOS’s timeline that he labelled Prime… Except JJ didn’t have the original licence to use anything from… let’s call it the Classic licence… including Leonard Nimoy’s Spock. And so JJ invented a second universe under the alt licence… the Prime Universe, that wasn’t based on the Classic Universe. How do we know this? The opening scene. That ship and those uniforms never existed as shown in TOS. Right from the start we see JJ’s Trek deviating from Classic making new things…. Except he didn’t have permission to use anything that wasn’t… 25% different. This includes Spock, who in the merch was identified as… Spock Prime, instead of just Spock. Why mention this? Because STD is based in JJ’s Prime universe, not the Classic universe. So there are three Trek universes. One, the Classic based on the Classic licence that spans TOS to ENT. Two, the Kelvin films, based on the alt licence that covers JJ’s films. Three, the actual Prime universe content of Secret Hideout, based on the Alt licence. Why is The Alt licence being used? Because if JJ uses designs from the Classic licence… he can’t monetise them. But he can make those designs 25% different and invent new designs under his licence where he controls who gets the merch money. So, the greatest magic trick in Trek. By Jeff Joseph Abrams. The richest snake oil salesman in Hollywood via what he is actually good at… marketing. And convincing his audience that he's a nerd, and not a savvy business man.

Ok racist

That was one of the 3 requirements that Gene Roddenberry designed: never show a character disobey orders.

Burnham: I’m 25% different and never heard an order I didn’t want to disobey on principal. Audience: No, pretty sure your 100% different and never would have made it through the academy… let alone the Vulcan science academy… unless Burnham left behind a trail of bodies she hid from her instructors… Oh who are we kidding. The bodies probably were the instructors.

TNG was written by people who were (mostly) good at writing, and knew what Star Trek was.

"Shut up, Wesley!" Captain Picard said. Even when maturity, intelligence, and (possibly) ethics are forgotten (however briefly), I miss that too.

@@vegeta002 They also love Star Trek.

Think of putting a puppet on each hand and then having them conduct a conversation. That is how easy dramatic dialogue is to write and these writers LOVE being lazy.

Very, very well stated. Modern Hollywood is polluted with these types.

The thing is, emotions are important, but not the only important thing

The megaton level irony given the character of the video's creator.

Just realised I've written something really similar to your comment! Apologies! It seems like alcohol is the only way to o survive star trek discovery!

probably die of liver failure if you tried for the whole show lol

I usually fall asleep before I'm even drunk, so that's the best way to play.

Maybe it's an opposites universe - maybe drinking heavily makes STD crew act like disciplined professionals.

they had only two days till retirement

Hey, can't forget she _also_ failed to be elected to the state legislature.

Eh that doesn't really mean anything because Hawking was also on the Big Bang Theory and I'd sooner watch Discovery than that travesty.

I thought you were kidding, but no. Holy crap does she leave much to be desired.

That’s a really lovely thing to hear. Thank you!

@@TheLittlePlatoon I was actually thinking the same after 10 min i couldn't even tell the difference

Nope, I'm only here for the stellar production values. I watch the shiny pictures while I play Baby Shark over and over. Glad to see and (& hear!) TLP continues to be a technically flawless channel

Well said

His real early stuff sounded shockingly tinny and his voice seemed deeper. Still good

In that existence you'd still have more spirit, individuality and imagination than the void brained cretins that created this show.

Star Trek Discovery is the Borg with a new face.

based

I'm pretty sure that the Borg wrote this crap. Or maybe just wanna-be Borg. I think a cyborg would be a lot less preachy and dogmatic than this whole leaky abortion.

Star Trek Discovery IS the Borg, you'd be subjecting yourself to an eternity of this

Only the "right" kind of politician mind you.

They did irreparable damage to the show that is already damaged when they brought in that loser.

If it had been a Republican politician I can guarantee you there would have been ethics and campaign finance investigations opened.

I think the issue isn't as much the fact she had a cameo at all, but rather the nature of the cameo. Nobody would've cared much if she were random redshirt no. 5. But no, they had to make her president of fcking Earth.

President Nixon briefly showed up on an episode of Laugh In.

It's a trope from Wrath of Khan as well! Old Trek has been doing it for quite some time!

Brilliant! Best to cover yourself!

And she's now in star trek cannon as "not elected"

This may be backed-up by no facts whatsoever, but it feels so very true. It just has to be.

But they forget that there are other important things besides therapy. That it has it's place, but also moments where it has to take a step back.

And he has a learning disability in this version.

And in TNG Lore communicated with a space crystal, one guy talked with a living space ship, and they discovered intelligent silicon base life at least twice.

Bringing Abrams into the show was a sure-fire way to do even more damage to a series almost impossible to stomach.

It was a very interesting comment for a dweeb like me. It was awakening.

I was this days old when I learned that new Trek is now US centric and not human centric

😂😂😂

Abrams only flipped 3 counties in GA and won all the counties she was projected to win. The 3 counties she flipped were ones where it was +3 or -3 of 50% for each runners this election and last election. She was already up sh*ts creek from the get go.

Well, she can always point at 'I played the morbidly obese diversity hire president of the earth in the worst Star Trek show ever'. Love that for her.

As a non-American, I am oh so grateful that this politician I've never heard of before, whose policies are irrelevant to me and who didn't even win the election this stunt was aimed at, is now forever a part of my favourite fictional universe.

​@@swagromancer usa usa usa

First time ever for me that i literally cant stand to watch startrek. Disgusting

Like Anita Sarkesian, evil never goes away because you forget it exists.

@@davfree9732 totes true

lol "STD", how fitting

I seriously thought this show was canceled until I found this video.

Honestly, I’d have had much more fun had I made this video today - but it would have been at least 6 hours long.

Worse. Statement 1: we did not know the universe had higher life forms. Statement 2: we need to harvest planets to power our defenses. Which raises the question: Who are you defending against?

@@slaapt "Which raises the question: Who are you defending against?" Clearly they need to defend themselves against all the enemies they made by destroying their galaxies. Their "We don't destroy galaxies with "higher" life forms is nothing more than them realizing that when you attack INTELLIGENT lifeforms they fight back. This has clearly happened to them multiple times in their history before they instituted this rule. Once again...this is a race of dangerous, arrogant, sadistic, lying, evil, psychopaths. Their vast technology and moral emptiness actually makes them a greater threat to the Federation than the Borg.

I just can't believe they lazily rehashed thr Crystalline Entity plot line from TNG and f***ed it up so bad.

@@slaapt To be fair..there are Planet Killers around :D...BTW...Why does the TOS Planet Killer look like a giant,crudely done..Joint

There’s nothing Star Trek in this show.

And that is precisely the sentiment I expect to hear from anyone regarding this video because the OP is definitely not a Trekkie.

"First time?"

​@@RogueOrracle right?!?! This is like my 3rd cinematic franchise and I have like 5 game franchise that went to shit as well.

I'm numb to it, mostly because I haven't consumed ANY first hand. Last mainstream thing I saw was TLJ. Watched it once and had that "first breakup" feeling, with the black hole in your chest lol. I've always been the type to completely sever ties after I've been wronged in a relationship...

Star Trek died when Voyager ended (and was dying before that with the godawful TNG movies).

Nah nah, friend. Don’t go sad like that. What we love is still there. Just do what we ATLA friends did when Shymalan made that movie: No he didn’t, that movie doesn’t exist.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I had a pretty good, silly laugh at that. 😆

Given the time constraints, it was impossible not to have a certain degree of that. But I don't know they were quite to the point of contrived, usually; they were typically set up properly. But yes, trying to find other solutions, not choosing violence even when they could have easily done so (and won), that was the lesson.

_The Iron Giant_ had a couple excuses, one lame, and one not so much. The lame one is that it's a children's movie, and we can't kill a beloved character in a children's movie. The good one is that the giant made a choice to not harm anyone, and made that choice _after_ it was apparent there was a choice to be made but _before_ it had actually done anything worthy of punishment.

I think it also adds a lot of unconscious assumptions into our culture about how severe medical issues operate. It's so common with late stage cancer for people to just assume that if you're young, and kind, and loved or whatever that you automatically get to "win". And every visit to the doctor just forces people in an already horrifying situation into breaking their loved ones hears over, and over, and over again when reality doesn't play by Hollywood logic.

Which basically means the end of the heroic sacrifice. Another glorious and moral trope.

To be fair, it could just be the head writer's incompetence. And that of the episode producer, I guess. And the inability of the scene writers to find the time to do more than 'talk about feelings' and 'pull plot point out of nowhere,' when their scene is _supposed_ to be about the somewhere that plot point came from. Nevermind.

It should be impossible to be fat in the Star Trek universe because the replicators would adjust your calorie intake no matter what you ate. Like if you ordered 10 chocolate sundaes a day, it would calibrate them so you'd get all the nutrition you'd need and your daily calories without going over 2,000 (or whatever the daily recommended amount would be).

It is theorised that the producers pushed her to gain weight and then filmed her in unflattering angles to show off how fat she was. When her contracted silence is over I want to hear what the producers did to her behind the scenes. Their ‘do as we say, not as we do’ mindset requires a karmic backlash.

She's also slow and jumpy, she doesn't react quickly and panics. Couple those character traits with her constant inability to not gossip, and I wonder how she was even allowed into the academy. Saru and Lorca seemed to be the only Starfleet worthy members of the crew.

It's so crazy how completely unfit for Starfleet Tilly's character was. She was a neurotic, overweight, insecure, weak, mess of a person. She literally got FATTER as the show went on. In season 1 when she was "just a cadet" being overweight and acting like that made a bit of sense. Especially given her arc in Season 1 where she talks about how her dream is to become a captain and Space Jesus is literally helping her train physically. I was looking forward to seeing Tilly lose 40 pounds and stop being a neurotic mess. She could have been hot and I have a thing for redheads. That would have been a legit great story arc of a young woman growing up into a functional adult. Nope. She literally GAINED weight. She must have put on 40 pounds almost as if the Actress did it on purpose. Like she was trying to get herself fired from the show by just being a much of a slovenly loser as possible but they kept just making her bigger and bigger uniforms. She must weigh 200 pounds by her appearance on Season 4.

Well, if the President of Earth can be morbidly obese, why can't someone in Starfleet also be fat?

I would recommend DS9, towards the beginning-middle through the end of the series it tackles a lot of those issue you have

Thanks! I just might do that - compared to what passes for sci-fi the last few years, I am sure it would be refreshing.

Deep space 9 and Babylon 5, both series I loved.

Yeah, I loved Babylon 5 too. Now that I think of it, were there not recent rumors of "updating" B5 for the mythical "modern audiences"? Because just 1 out of 4 senior officers being black, and only 1 a woman (with a female love interest, at one point, no less) just wasn't diverse enough!

@alexfriedman918 yes, it's potentially being rebooted by the network 'CW'. So it will be absolute garbage

And too hard on myself, apparently!

I’m sorry it took so long!

@@TheLittlePlatoon Its okay :)

I tried watching an episode a few months ago, the fucking dialogue is soooo boring and unnecessary, every character needs a psychobabble pep talk before they can do anything, and the characters are sooo unlikeable. I mean there’s literally NO likeable characters, they’re all just soooo annoying!

Antifa be like:

Lol same

Even if humanity as a whole considered it boring and humdrum, there'd still be freaks and graduate students (but I repeat myself) who'd want to take a look.

YES. This. I have no idea how this doesn't occur to every person that has had this opinion: from teachers to peers to colleagues. Or, here's a thought, they are so advanced, they can simply pull accurate simulation from species they discover and then they focus their studies there. But that wouldn't be disinterest.

This makes me wish that ants will suddenly gain sapience.

To be fair, that was due to the actress' desire to leave the show, she probably personally asked for her character to outright die instead of getting Poochie'd to another planet or something.

They mostly _did_ forget about her. Mind, part of that is because they were professionals (except Wesley, who never really interacted with her on screen) who had jobs to do, and the show wasn't interested in their personal lives until years later. Mind, my favorite part of them recreating _Encounter at Farpoint_ was that they put Colm Meaney back in red at Conn.

Except timeless beings unable to understand linear time makes sense, as well as the struggle in explaining it to them. Whereas nothing in Discovery makes sense. DS9 also brilliantly played off this fact when a Bajoran poet from the past arrives in the present via the wormhole, and because he was the first to find and communicate with the Prophets the Bajorans think he must be the true emissary, because the prophecies say the emissary would be the one to first find the celestial temple, which from our linear time would be this Bajoran poet. But they go and ask the wormhole aliens themselves and they're like "no, Sisko is our emissary," because they don't see time as linear. Brilliant writing, completely lacking nowadays.

And - let's be real - obesity. And people still wear glasses. Lol.

@@JanMichalSzulew Well, they've had fatties in star trek before (mostly admirals). And kirk wore glasses in wrath of kahn. but the other thing i liked was that Space Jesus jumps ahead 900 years in the future and knows how everything on the ship works AND starts lecturing the guy she runs into about how it works. So fucking stupid..

Two points: Talking Is A Free Action, which means that even the guy who is dying from a sucking chest wound has time for a soliloquy about their triumphs and regrets before they succumb. Second, they can Take Their Time; as long as nobody sets off the next plot advancing flag, they can take as long as they want. Mind, the _characters_ aren't supposed to be aware enough of the fourth wall to pull that sort of thing.

@@boobah5643 yea well, in this show they are constantly aware. Moments after saying how important it is to do a thing, they're taking time out to chat about something else. Takes you out of the moment, and makes that important thing they have to do quickly not seem quite so urgent. The person dyeing, has no real urgency and may as well talk out their last breaths. The person who has to chase down the mega weapon to save the planet hardly would waste the time to chat about a relationship before setting out since, each minute spent doing what you could do afterward is a minute less chance of catching it. Course, if you already know you can't miss it, you're not so rushed. Now, viewer kinda knows there is no way they wont catch it, but they're not supposed to make it obvious that even they don't care about rushing about it.

But.....feeeeeelings have the power to stop time! So torpedoes, monsters, enemies all stop while they chat about feelings and cry about it......and then....unpause! Ok tense action again.......

and I made it to the end and appreciate your political critique.

Which space Jesus? Sisko, Burnham or Kira Yamato?

@@barrybend7189 Context brother. It's right in the title

Kira is the best Space Jesus.

You forgot about TAS.

It’ll be taken down in a few hours, just you wait…

@@TheLittlePlatoon 24 hours in the future, and i do believe the reviewer is still proudly wearing his porcine balaclava. Tim Allen once said: Never give up, Never surrender. Words to live by. Chin up assorted crew, people are noticing your good work. Be proud.

One of Macross series had an alien race attacking humanity because they thought our hive mind had a catastrophic breakdown, and they were trying to fix it.

In Ender's Game the issue wasn't that humans weren't recognised as sentient, but that we weren't recognised as a non-hivemind. Losing a few drones meant nothing to the aliens so they assumed it meant nothing to humans either. They were actually quite distrought when they learned they exterminated entire consciousnesses with every kill.

@@slaapt Ah, okay. Makes sense 👍

@@MachineMan-mj4gj that was Macross Frontier and it thought that a kid's singing ( that kid had a mutation that allowed them to effectively have biological FTL coms) was their young's crie for help. Interesting how Discovery gimped a similar idea for the burn but made it stupid.

@@barrybend7189 "Discovery gimped a similar idea for the burn but made it stupid," is a common refrain for the show.

I know! I was fully expecting this video to tank, just because I remembered the numbers from the last few in this genre. It somehow went from being my main thing to being a niche in about 6 months.

Though didn't it take 7 episodes to kill off Slegger and 18 for Ryu? Though Slegger did pave a way for a trope successor Roy Fokker from SDF Macross.

@@barrybend7189 yeah, the OG Gundam has its flaws but for most story beats being confined into 30m episodes it's actually much better then even I remembered as a kid. Most that died had some form of relevance and its felt through the other characters which also come back up in later episodes. You definitely got a decent feel for Ryu and Slegger regardless of the shows time constraints.

I think I may have subconsciously condensed the timeline because my friend and I used to binge watch it on free Megavideo accounts that stopped you after 4 episodes. I’m not *really* advancing that as a criticism, just as a slightly lazy trope - I remember Slegger’s death pretty much a decade after I saw it. Give it a year and I’ll probably have forgotten Book.

@@TheLittlePlatoon no your all good its still relavent with Slegger you get to know him as a laid back guy for a few episodes then bam. He becomes a love interest completely out of nowhere and dies 5 minutes later. When you mentioned it I couldn't help but laugh because it was accurate. Being a side character is hard. If they ever feel the need to completely divulge their backstory or get romantically involved they're dead.

That’s what I usually do.

Squeak!

I was done by episode 3.

penal colony or mental institution?

@@weaksignal8009 She mutinied and started an interstellar war, knowingly, deliberately, and in complete control of her faculties. Besides, it doesn't look like there's too much hard labor at a penal colony (at least the one in the premier episode of ST:VGR didn't look too bad), so it probably doubles as a mental institution for people with sensitive knowledge, as the first officer of a starship would have.

Lol

What a marvel this show is! ALL those feelings, and now this climactic (lol) bit of romance.