Hi all. Hope you are well. Here’s the truth and full truth about my story and how I’ve been feeling as of late but also the highs and lows of my story. I hope you enjoy

This was beautiful, and incredibly relatable from start to finish. Serious credit for such an honest and in depth take at what goes on behind the scenes. You're spot on, and it's an important lesson to absolutely everyone. It doesn't all have to be a grind. Make time for things simply because you enjoy them! In early 2019, after 7ish years of averaging two videos a week, I went down to just one a week. I'd been wanting to do this for years, but was terrified of the consequences (feed the beast!). Ultimately, things remained stable and it's majorly improved how I feel about it all. Best of luck in everything, and thanks for this wonderful take!

One of the most honest accounts i have ever seen....so admire your sincerity. ...if nothing else give your Wife a big hug...she is a rock

Incredible mate, watched the whole thing whilst on the exercise bike 😅 What a journey, it's been a tough 6-12 months mate, but stick in there and the channel will grow like it deserves to... ❤️

Better than TV!👍

You're the reason that I baught an Abarth man, I love it and I love your content man. Keep up the good work, I'm rooting for you. One day I want to go to an Abarth meet, super cool car and awesome car community.

Stef, thanks for this documentary, respecting your decision. Your videos are great, please take my word: I bought my Abarth 595 esseesse MY2020 full spec only because of your content! Let time go by and take your well deserved break. Take care and all the best mate!

Get back to what you enjoy. I came here from watching Jayemm's livestream, he has proven there is big appetite for reviews on fun, affordable cars. Keep going buddy.

Watching your videos made my mind up for me a year ago when I bought my abarth 595. (Also repping abarth club North east) You gave me so many ideas and ways to get the most enjoyment out of my little grey rocket. Now more than ever its time to start living your best life mate. Stay safe and enjoy the world around you.

THE most underrated car youtube out there. No questions. I love your content.

So much I could say to you right now. You’ve got so many qualities. You have an unbelievable ability to connect, create and deliver. Thanks for making that amazing video for us to watch, you have an unbelievable story. Hopefully see you at an event some time soon after this has all passed. Congrats on everything you have achieved, very well deserved 👏🏼🙏🏼

I rarely watch KZfaq videos more than about 20 minutes (usually closer to 10), but I was riveted to this

You’re clearly an amazing story teller and director - very gripping story and hats off for being so honest - I look forward to following the next chapter, I have a feeling things are looking up :) hope everything works out for you! 🙏

Stay strong, I have always enjoyed the content. I have never felt the need to comment before. Your videos have always been real and honest, that is what your subscribers appreciate. Watching your journey and how you have grown as a film maker is amazing. You have a very special lady at your side.

Steff. I can't say I've been here from the beggining but I can definitely say I've watched a big big part of your videos in the last couple months. I can definitely say that you had an impact on me buying an Abarth 500 SS as my first car and I couldn't be more happy about it. I've watched your videos with Abarths with a huge smile in my face just imagining the thrill that you were going through while driving them or riding along. You have great content and it does look professional as you said but it's not boring at all in any way. I know you will bounce back from this because there is always an opportunity and I really hope to watch more great content. You are indeed the KING of the Abarth's and don't let that ever be forgotten. Cheers from Portugal!!

Haven't really watched much since your Abarth days however, this video really is fantastic quality and a great insight into how you've developed. Genuinely great work 💪.

Hi, this is possibly one of the best and heart felt KZfaq videos I have watched. Thanks for the effort you have put into this.

Bought my Abarth because of your content - Thank you for great videos, wish you and your wife all the best👍

interesting documentary, you are one of the reasons why i bought a 595 comp last year and i want to keep it for forever. keep up the good work :)

Stef I found your channel whilst looking at Abarth’s. Although I still don’t own one I will at some point. I keep watching you as I like you and what you produce some great content. You like me are a genuine petrol head and love cars. Although I have to say I don’t watch every single upload. Sometimes I’m not so interested in some of the BMW or Audi content. I usually stick you on in the evening whilst cooking with the air pods in as that’s my time away from the family. You are in a different part of your life right now, so do what you have to get through, getting married and buying a house is a massive life change for anyone so if you need to reduce content then take your time. You are doing a great job considering it’s just a hobby, keep it up fella 👍🏼

Been watching your channel since I bought my own Abarth in 2016. It’s been great to see someone with your enthusiasm and exuberance sharing content that promotes such positive energy. But, I could see how it becomes real “work” over time. I’m certainly grateful for the videos you’ve put out. They keep me motivated and inspired. Whatever you do in the future, you’ll have the support of the KZfaq community with you 100%.

Stef you are a good lad and a very humble one I must add. I watched and enjoyed very much most of your Abarth videos and I am now almost ready to buy mine and start modifying it. With the virus spreading, a lot of people had to take a step back and see the bigger picture. I was one of them, I hope you get out of that in better shape than you entered and try to suppress that stress. I have been to very stressful situations as well and can tell you it will change your world if you can manage that. Stay safe and whenever you feel like it, bring us some new content!

Simply brilliant and so much of this resonates with me , especially the mental well-being side of things. The pain of seeing people not watching your content, seeings subs drop off, no comments and for me before the terrible situation we are currently in not getting cars. This is a great time to take stock and also ask the massive question “should I carry in doing this” . The amount of work and rejection of ringing car dealers to review cars takes a massive tole of confidence and motivation. Like you a full time job in London and this has to come 1st (I have a dog and an amazing daughter and granddaughter so I think I am very lucky in that way) thank you for the video and fancy a chat some time ping Pete for my details as we have a lot in common.

Steph I'm a Abarth owner and have subbed to your channel for years, absolutely MASSIVE respect to you man for posting this, really brave and honest. I can relate to quite a bit of this as I'm juggling professional landscape photography with a day job. Like you I've found the last few months an ideal time to step back and actively relax as I didn't realise how much I was doing. Your video I think was brilliantly put together and will appeal to many people across msny genres, and also hopefully explain to people what goes on behind the scenes. Big up to you man. Enjoy your life, you only get one. Cheers Pete

Ballsey video Stef, always enjoyed watching you with Pete. Its true you just dont get any idea of whats going on behind the lense. All i can say is think of you. You are good at what you do and i hope you dont disappear. Take care fella 👍

Very heart felt. I actually purchased a Pista last week due to your reviews and love it, i subbed to pretty much all your content from insta to road star. I find you very genuine. I know life delivers some real lows but always make sure family comes first. Social media is a savage world and can be full of, lets say 'demanding people'. Beer on me if we ever meet Stef.

This is a great piece of content for any media not just KZfaq, your sincerity and vulnerability really comes across as does your passion throughout your videos. With everything going on in the world a lot of us have had time to reflect and you speaking out about how things have effected you let us know we’re not alone. On a positive note like so many have already mentioned, Your content has helped me look to get the enjoyment out of driving again which I’d lost, as a result I’ve sold my Z4 M40i First Edition and I’m now trying to drop on an Abarth 595 as a daily and a 4C for even more driving fun. All the best and hope you keep creating content that makes you happy, and spend quality time with the wife and new puppy 🙏

As a fellow content creator, this is one of the most relatable videos I’ve seen in a very long time. Stef, I’ve been a long time viewer & I completely understand what your going through. Mental health is the most important thing. I know you can get through this man & hopefully with what’s going on, you can get your head back in the right space. I stopped making videos 9 months ago (I made racing game content) and the repetition + decline in views was getting to me, therefore I moved to Twitch & although I’m not getting as much traction as YT, I’m loving every minute due to it suiting my style of content better. However, I plan on returning to YT with IRL car content which will put the passion back in there sometime in the near future. Stay strong mate, always here for you! 💙

Recently started watching your channel when contemplating buying an abarth, now bought an abarth and still watching. This vlog is honest and raw. Bravo

So much respect to you for making this, for being so honest and so vulnerable. I’ve been watching for a while and although I’ve not owned any cars from any of the brands you’ve worked with I watch anyway because your work is beautiful with the editing and everything. Doing all you do as well as a full time job and trying to maintain a good family life as well is a very tall ask and it’s humbling to hear how much impact it’s having on you, for us to just sit here for ten minutes and go “that was good” and then go about the rest of our day. I hope that by the end of the lockdown you’re feeling much better as a result of this enforced reset we’re all going through.

A brave strong video. Only been with you for a year or so, but fell in love with Abarth thanks to you. One of my 'go to' channels before the world went mad, even more so now to get through the tough days. The lows make the highs feel higher - stay strong.

A true legend Stef, you continue to inspire others on every video. I wouldn’t of bought my Abarth without seeing your videos and yet I love all the non Abarth content. Keep up the good work stay positive 🚗

Fair bloody play to you mate for this. It puts a lot of light on the unknown side of being a KZfaqr. Big respect 🙏🏻

Great video. Brave, bold, inspiring and valuable. Well done Stef, thank you for sharing all 🙌🏻

An awesome video sir - a level of openness and honesty that is missing from many Yourtubers. Met you a few years ago very briefly at the Prescot Hill Climb and you were an absolute gent. Keep going but at your own pace - class will always outlast!

I love this channel because of the honesty. KZfaq is difficult it’s mentally draining... it’s not easy but seeing people enjoy your stuff pushes you through. Your videos are class leading in production quality. This is a brilliant video, well done Stef, and here is to 50k. Stay safe, Oliver.

I've only seen a few of your videos as I'm involved with different cars, but that was epic. Hope you are looking after yourself and your missis and all is well. All the best.

I have followed your channel for a few years now and the last year or so i haven't saw any on my feed. The strangest thing is i was actually thinking about your channel the other day and BOOM this video popped up tonight on my feed. WOW, amazing! Pure raw realness and to show your vulnerability and talk about it is such a courageous thing to do. Giving that its mentsl health week too i take my hat off to you for opening up and sharing your story. Being on lockdown during this covid pandemic, it has made me look at life completely different and strip back my lifr to the simple life and truly only do things that make me happy.

Stef, your videos are great and are from the heart. Keep doing the content you love, the viewers will follow and support you.

This is terrific...genuine, human spirit behind the tough roller-coaster world of pursing a passion on social media...hats off to your courage Stef for putting yourself out there! loveit!

That was a great bit of film that was more than about cars. And from someone who is watching car videos from morning to night, made me aware of a side of KZfaqrs that if I'm being honest I never have thought about. Keep up the good work, from a 40yr old poor family man I really appreciate it.

A single point of reference for anyone wanting to start out on social media. Incredible video and a very honest story of not only the hard work which goes into maintaining a channel like this, but the mental impact too. Well done Stef, keep smashing it and never change buddy.

Fantastic , honest and frank video. Well done Stef. ... I bought my Giulia Veloce in March because of your videos. I’m forever in your debt as would not have even test drove one without you.

Always had the highest quality of videos and the effort you go through is admirable. The first 20 mins just disappeared ! Honestly you are such a genuine bloke and I think even though you may not have the most subs, like your videos the people who do are quality people and care about you so stay strong and enjoy your chill!

been behind you as a viewer, fan, supporter and fellow Abarthisti from pretty much day one and always will be bro! pretty heart wrenching to see this in a way but i’m not surprised as this is hard work, especially alongside a full time job. hats off to you mate, hopefully see you again soon and have a catch up 👍🏼 stay strong buddy

God bless you mate. What a great documentary and your honesty had me quite tearful 😢 You take care of yourself and your missus, that’s the most important thing. Your videos are brilliant and you’re the only KZfaqr I watch if I’m honest as you’re such a decent guy. All the best mate 👍🏻

Mate what a great video, honesty and heart felt. I think your content is strong and always look forward to it.true fans of yours will always support you. Your missus sounds awesome too btw.

Hat's off Stef for being so brutally honest!! Keep up the great work buddy, stay safe and well and look forward to more great content!!!

Love this Stef, started watching your channel when you probably had around 1000 subs, your content has come on leaps and bounds and I think you deserve way more subs/views than you have. Our mental and physical health is always the most important thing though so keep trying to remain positive and not stress too much, I know the frustration stems from passion so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s plenty out there including myself who have struggled/do struggle with mental health so it’s great you’re using this platform to share this

All the way from Malta I used to watch all the Abarth vids you made and now after God knows how long I finally own one and that is thanks to you. Stay safe mate and remember you are always the King of Abarth no matter what car you own or what car you review!

Been watching your channel for awhile now, I never miss a video, keep up the great work Stef.

Before I bought my little Susie (595), I watched your videos. That's what brought me to the dealership... Once I test drove it, I was hooked. I was honoured to see you working while on club meeting. I didn't stop watching even when you changed the car.... Thank you...

First of all, tell you that I’ve my 595 pista because of you! Ive started to watch your channel because of the Abarth content. Nowadays, I watch it every time. The new content and the past one I’ve never saw. Second, thank you for your effort, sacrificing your time, family... You mention it! Thank you for this video, I’ve watched it till the end, and for being an honest guy who adores what you’re doing, and because those qualities emerge from your videos. Cheers from Sintra-Lisbon, Portugal. If you’re thinking passing by to Portugal, let me know. Keep up and, essential above all, be well.

You're health is your wealth mate! Thanks for your candid and honest appraisal of your life. Be safe and well. I know that you are the go to guy for Abarth content.

Great video Stef. Have a well deserved break. I too bought an Abarth 595 Comp largely because of your videos. Cheers Dale, Adelaide , Australia

Only my second KZfaq comment. One word respect: Respect to the commitment of time Respect to the dedication of coming back to something that’s hard Respect for pushing your boundaries Respect for creating great content Respect for sharing the highs and lows Respect for doing all of this on top of trying to live a normal life (buying and moving house, getting married and changing cars all included RESPECT for being so open to your state of mind and feelings The biggest RESPECT for sharing it with us. Willing and wishing you continued success defined by your own objectives. Stay safe.

Thank you for the effort you took to make and share this content. I appreciate you and wish you the best on whatever you pursue. Thank you!

Great video as always Stef. The Abarth community especially here in the North East are always keeping an eye on your content for something fresh to watch like we have done over the past couple of years. Keep it going mate 👍🏻

Just watched your documentary and my heart really felt for you. Chasing massive highs in life ultimately means you'll be experiencing deep lows. Such a competitive sector to be in but I have followed you and I think you do a great job. It appears you've worked what's important in life. Good luck from here on in. Rgs Tony

Just watched this again now....and I have to tell you Stef, as you were talking about your experiences I felt as if I were drowning under water and couldn't catch my breath. I actually felt the pain that you were explaining, gasping for air. I can only imagine what it was doing to you. xx

That was a hard watch mate. All credit to you for putting it out there for everyone to see. Before I came across your channel I hadn't really known anything about the Abarth, but Im a fan (dont have one myself). Its important to look after yourself and Im glad to hear that you are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks once again for posting and look after yourself mate.

I just got an 595 Comp since this September. I watched a quite bit of your video's. Informative and well done! I hope you do well these times. Not there from the beginning, but I admire your work. Cheers!

Great and thought provoking watch, love the content and delivery of your channel. Keep strong 💪 what you do is massively appreciated and your humble and genuine delivery is brilliant. .....love your work Buddy 👍👍

Now to be honest I stumbled across your videos because I'm looking to pick up an Abarth, but your honesty and enthusiasm for what you've managed to do is inspiring, i definitely agree mental health has to come first.

That was an amazing watch stef, thank you for sharing the highs and lows of your journey so far, I myself bought the abarth I had because of your channel, and am forever grateful that you helped me find such a fun car of which I’m still so fond of today and want another! I had no idea what the impact really had on you mentally when I remember you mentioning the KZfaq algorithms and numbers that had dropped, I guess it is really draining and disheartening when so much time goes into such a short video and it doesn’t quite do the numbers. I can’t believe people spoke bad of you on other channels saying that you had ‘sold out’ etc, I can only put that down to maybe they were simply jealous. I think people prefer the more simple raw style content because the more flashy the videos become people think that your becoming rich from these videos and for some weird reason you lose peoples respect I think to a certain extent. Anyway enough from me, keep doing the channel I love it, I’ve watched you for years now! And hope you get the puppy soon! 🤘🏻🦂

Big respect dude. A really honest and eye opening video. Saw my car in a few clips there, good memories 😊 Stay safe 👊🏼

Awesome video Stef - it’s been a time of awakening when everyone has had to re-assess, take a deep breath then re-evaluate what matters. You are so very insightful you will come out the other side much wiser for the experience.

hang in there man...personally i feel your realness and willingness to be open about your journey and not always play it cool is what i appreciate about your channel. im rooting for you Stef. just do what inspires you and not what you feel will grow the channel...that way cosmic synergy will take over...even if things dont grow quickly they will eventually take off to new levels. dont be impatient. dont bank on it. just do what inspires you and do your best...then you can feel confident you are putting out your best product.

"I am never going to financially recover from this"

Just bought my first 595,and I've watched all your content, which has really helped me make my mind up..so thankyou.

Thank you for your honesty and openness. I’m glad you are now in a better place. Take care.

This video is really amazing! You’re so honest and displaying the reality of being a KZfaqr. I myself, I’m just trying to grow my channel and it’s a really though task to do! Keep up your amazing work Stef! Love your videos!

Wow man that was epic Stef . Totally open and telling it how it is. I hope once this locked down is over you find the thing that makes you happy in you're work. Really enjoy the content you do with Ped & Joe . Good luck in the future 👍👌💪

Mate you know I can 100% relate to this too but holy shit i spend crazy amounts of time and I know for one you spend even more time than me on your content. I totally know about those highs and lows and because of which that last part just got me so much. Bless up fella and thanks for being a friend 👍 so please to have been able to meet you all those years back and now be able to call you a friend. I still say your videos are up there with the absolute best on the whole of KZfaq and I continually can’t wait to see what you bring out next 👍👌😎 your channel will blow up still and you will be one of those massive car channels 100% Much love broski 🤙

Hi Stef Absolutely top notch for your honesty. Always loved your content and whatever path you chose i wish you all the best , hopefully once we get over this period of isolating and reflection we can go back to basics and just enjoy going for drive . Take care and all the best 👍👍

I can tell how much effort you put in your videos mate. Like your videos and trying to support you in full. Don’t let yourself down and hope your channel will grow once everything is back to normal. Great content all the best

Have to be honest, I’m not a Abarth owner (the mrs was a 500 owner) but I really liked the car. Looking for an alt daily and your videos were a perfect balance of really useful insight and details - I’m now looking for one. Keep up the great work bud!

Great video man. Good to see the struggle side of things behind creating content for your audience man! Keep it up! Love the 4C, sad to see it go, but looking forward to what you have in store for the future 🍀

Hey ! Im one of people who bought Abarth as a Daily driver because i have no space for two cars . Your video "Abarth as daily " made me to decide im getting one ! Thanks a lot man , it was pleasure to meet you in Milano !

It's not easy trying to *stay hyped* for the Abarth in a location like Detroit, Michigan. So I really appreciate this

Enjoyed watching your Abarth vids as it helped me to buy one! You’re in recovery which takes time. Enjoy life and hang in there!

Hi mate. That was amazing to watch. Such sincerity and honesty. I cannot blame you for feeling the way you feel. I am sure that was a hard video to make and i personally ( and so will many others ) think the right thing to do. Just look back at the good times and think of all the people the Abarth videos helped and inspired. Best of luck with your future ventures and stay strong.

Hi Stef, As always such an amazing and gripping watch, love your videos and really enjoyed finding out about your journey on here and what hard work it takes to edit and create content such as yours as it’s so appreciated by me and the many thousands that watch them. Keep strong as safe my friend and know that you are loved by many out here your a legend 👌🏻👍🏻

A wise man said: The Secret behind success is hard work. And that is why it is a Secret for most People. Great video Stef.

Great vid man, really honest, I feel like I wanna give you a hug! 🤗 Lockdown has forced everyone to have a reset, a rethink and a reassess, hopefully for better! Comforting to hear the lack of support from friends is not just me!

Hello from Detroit Michigan! Love your content no matter what you are discussing or what car you are driving I am always entertained by your honestly and personality you bring to your videos. I hope you read this comment and know that there are people on your channel that will always support the content you create. The main reason I started watching your videos is because of the passion you seem to have with any video you create and that’s what made me subscribe! I can’t wait to see what happens in the future with your channel, I know it’s only going to keep growing more and more! PS Alfa Romeo Giulia owner here so of course I love the Alfa content lol, but in all honesty love the videos and content man I hope you and your wife are staying safe, healthy, and above all else happy, cheers!

Just found your channel and then watched this video, my wife and I have a small channel and I so agree with the amount of effort that you have to put into the videos that no one realises or sees, top respect to you and glad to see you are better in yourself now, which you are spot on with saying no one really sees the other side. Top vids, we also have an Abarth 500, from new but it’s 11 years old now😂, stay safe👍🏻

Hi Stef, really touching video mate I have watched your channel for many months and I am one of those avid followers that bought an Abarth 595 Comp mainly due to all my obsessive watching of your channel. Your absolutely correct though we as viewers only see the good side of You Tubers never the bad this has opened my mind dramatically. Just wanted to say chin up and your a legend mate. Concentrate on what means more to you and your wife’s happiness and everything else falls into place. 👍🏻

A really good watch Stef 👍🏻 in the 2 years I've been watching your content I've found it really enjoyable, same as Joe Achilles & a few others, very down to earth & hopefully you won't stop going forward, keep up the great work mate 👍🏻😎

Great video Stef... real home truths.. looking forward to seeing your 2020 and beyond journey I’m watching and enjoying all your content. Keep it up (if you want to and you can enjoy it again!)...

Awesome vid Stef Been here for about 3 years so not quite from start Was thru Abarth content I stumbled upon you Man stay strong We will all get thru this poop Stay safe pal and carry on

Followed the link JayEmm posted and I was able to watch a masterpiece. Thank you.

I don't subscribe to many!!. But a while ago I did to you Stef. Keep up the good work. You are a joy to watch and seem a natural. Looking forward to more reviews!!

Hi Stef ... I truly feel for you man !! I'm so hoping this Documentary has been Cathartic for you as well as Healing. I've been a Fan of yours from Day one. I bought my 2013 Fiat 500 Turbo back in June 2018, and it was mostly inspired by watching your videos. Please hold on to that passion for creativity that has brought good fortune to your life. We are all only human... I thank you for your sincerity and open hearted candor in this Documentary. Sending you Big Hugs from NYC !! Jonatan 👍🏻

This was pretty good Stef! As it started, I thought it might be something where you're seeking a pity-party, but then it actually gave a great insight into the ups and downs of being a content provider in a very competitive and saturated domain. I have watched your videos from a very early stage and generally enjoyed them for the quality of content rather than recommendations of purchase mainly because what you review for the most part is not available in the US. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying car vids from good content creators. Keep on keepin' on!

Wow mate, a great watch to see the journey you have been on, the ups and downs, most people find it hard to make time with 1 job, I been following you since the days when you had the a45 amg, I follow you, joe, ped, and a few others because I have a true passion for cars and you guys dont just help me with letting me see great cars but you also help me with knowledge too, I have been wondering about if I should start my own channel and make my own content, I'm still in the deciding stage and this will help me put everything into perspective, cheers mate and always look after yourself, if you get to that stage again where your running on empty just take some time with the misses, all the viewers will still be there when you get back 👍

At last I got to watch this, I follow you because you are real! I bought a Mini Cooper S because of Petrol Ped its in the UK and now I just bought a Fiat 500 in Ireland Because of you. I know content takes time to produce and edit, just for lectures I do. Just want to say your back video content helped my lock down and loved the dog walk film. Well done, keep safe and remember your life behind the camera is what makes your Arbarth content shine. Keep up the good work and now you have another Arbarth its all good! 😷

Congratulations on a very honest film. The pitfalls of social media are not often highlighted and it's good to see somone be honest about the stresses. Just work out what makes you happy and enjoy yourself. Life is too short to chase the approval of the youtube masses. From an Alfa fanatic in Melbourne, Australia.

Been here since the start man, 2020 will bring us good things i have no doubt 🙏

Not commented on a video before but watch the whole thing. Interesting watch and good to see such an honest account. Brave of you to create and share. Well done mate 👍