👌More videos can be found on this topic at: kzfaq.info/sun/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

this is really crippling because the older we get and the more relationships we try to form and they keep falling apart.... only confirm our fears. and when the relationships seem to be going well and could potentially be a safe space, we tend to sabotage.. just in case.... before it sabotages us.....

You are the most factual, informative, detailed and professional person I’ve seen on KZfaq for this content. Thank you so much.

My mother died of cancer when I was 8 years old. My father drank heavily and would be angry and emotionally erratic and unavailable. Overanalysis paralysis, hypervigilance, fear of abandonment, self rejection, relationship sabotage, anxiety, depression, addiction...this is the hell I've been in my entire life. Thank you so much for this information, I have been learning so much from your seminars.

I don’t know why this was hard for me to hear, glad I listened thank you 💕 I can’t afford therapy but I am still learning a lot about myself! Progress.

listening to you has done more for me than 5 years with a psychiatrist charging $300 per hour!! You are my answer

Thank you. I have been attending counseling / working on healing for the last 3 years - and the realization of the giant role that the neglect I experienced as a very young child (I was less than 2 yrs old when my younger twin sisters were born, identical twins with congenital heart defects). I was healthy, so I guess my needs for security, stability and comfort were not important to my parents. All of the attention and "special" went to them (one in particular was Mom's favorite), and I learned very young that I wanted to be anywhere but with that family. The damage wrought by this has messed up a whole lot of things in my adult life. It sucks to realize at 50+ years old that your life could have been - should have been - so much more.

I honestly believe you save lives with your videos. Absolutely life changing information and so easy to follow and understand. You’re an absolute angel! I’m forever grateful.

"Secure attachments are essential"; I feel more secure when listening to someone starts speaking with a statement of obvious truth. Thanks.

Honestly, I’ve had therapists for twenty years and not one of them ever mentioned Codependent behavior, dismissive avoidance attachment styles or a difficult narcissistic father! Also, most therapists in the U.S. have psychological problems and they don’t care to help people heal themselves. My last therapist insulted me and invalidated me. He told me to keep a bad friend who traumatized and financially abused me.

It makes complete sense but it sounds like overwhelmingly hard work to sort out. I have a massive fear of getting into a relationship because of the insecure attachment I had with my mother, so the thought of getting into a relationship (whether that is a romantic or friendly one) frightens me to death and that is really really sad!

I locked my self deep inside myself, Doc Snipes. This lays out, step by step, what happened and why it happened. I am understanding on the deeper levels the mystery and pain of my life as I pull out more completely every day. What a harrowing ADVENTURE! Thanks for your part in this. Sending love to you today.🍀

I am definitely anxious, I have destroyed most of my friendships that i formed in adulthood. I am glad that I fought against my self and I was able to stumble and find a woman that loves me. Sadly I still feel this at times.

How Disorganized Attachment leads to Codependency and studying the combination of these two disruptive traumas is life changing. To take it further to enhance and develop what is healthy is just outstanding. Thank you so much for this life changing video.

I am glad this video came my way. I am in the midst of a deep inquiry into attachment, and have seen probably hundreds of other videos on various aspects of it. What I especially appreciate here is the well paced delivery (not too fast like what happens on another channel on this topic) , the use of slides to support the content presented (a huge help for me), and the comprehensive coverage of the topic. One suggestion for improving the content: anxious attachment attachment and avoidant attachment were described fairly well, but disorganized attachment was given just a brief description of it having aspects of both anxious and avoidant. While this is of course true there is much more to it than simply anxious + avoidant = disorganized. In other words, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts and there is more complexity to disorganized attachment than that. So, I would have liked to seen that addressed more clearly. True, the rest of the content did cover things like hypervigilance, which is a feature of disorganized attachment, but again it would be useful to more fully explain the dynamics of disorganized attachment. Overall though, much appreciated and useful content.

I definitely fall in the anxious attachment area. I'm healing towards secure. Thanks for the confirmation and eye opening content.

"Always trying to convict myself"--now that really resonates.

Sending love to all of you commenting. I found this insightful. I am seeing a therapist next week. I so hope it'll be helpful

Doc Snipes is like a real Sniper, she hits the target right in the Bullseye. I am so appreciative of her.

Your insight and knowledge are absolutely amazing. There is not a section of yours that I listen to that I do not totally resonate with and cannot tell you how invaluable this information is for those who want to unravel and heal their issues. I encourage everyone to listen to at least one a day if they are experiencing any of these challenges. Thank you.

THANK YOU! This is an excellent presentation, very educational and well put together 🙏

It sucks. I just want to overcome this and be normal.

I had my last therapist who had a one hundred foot painted portrait of him and his wife on the wall ask me, “what do you want from me as a therapist”? He was a sliding scale therapist who drooling whenever I paid him with cash! Toxic, narcissistic, invalidating, critical therapists who throw their clients under the bus are a detriment to American health in society today! These therapists not concerned with me healing or improving my childhood wounds.

"Well, if I learned anything from this... It's how to live on my own."

Your key pieces of information describe me exactly . I’m so glad I’ve stumbled on this and the time to absorb and now act and change lightbulb moments I want to share with others

I WAS SO AMAZED AT HOW YOU COULD ACTUALLY TALK AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING SO WE UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS FEELINGS ETC. AND A BIT OF OURSELFS THANK YOU

One of the most informative and thorough videos I’ve seen on this subject. Thank you!

This was so informative and eye opening. Not only for myself (analysis paralysis), and for people in my life (many, many, many other points for different people) And many helpful strategies for myself and to help others (if they want it)

I am such a fan of your presentations. Thank you many times over!

During covid it is virtually impossible to get help for anxiety. This was a very informative video.😍

Thank you so much for your time and knowledge. I’ve found it very helpful. Could you possibly explain what a healthy relationship would look like compared to one with codependency etc. maybe some advice and links for improving each of the issues. Thank you. Also, could you do a video on helping young children who’ve been bullied, how to improve their self esteem and confidence ?

One of the most illuminating teachings I’ve happened upon. Thank you for this valuable post.

This was so helpful. I have insecure attachment and abandonment issues, and have gone through multiple dysfunctional relationships. Therapy is helping me address my reactions and develop new skills

Amazing!!!! This was a much needed, key piece clarification for me! Thank you! ❤️🙏🏼

In a dream I'm a different me With a perfect you We fit perfectly For once in my life I feel complete And I still want to ruin it Afraid to look As clear as day This plan has long been underway I hear them call I cannot stay The voice inviting me away

I always enjoy your videos. I try not to binge watch. I try to just do one at a time and let it soak in.

I like her clear description of each topic.

I'm listening to this and finding it helpful. But remembering it to help myself is a problem in itself

This is awesome presentation. I am learning a lot from you. Thank you

Many thanks for this video. Very helpful information, well presented and easy to comprehend.

I just. Discovered your channel Doc snipes you are a God send thank you for helping us get better as people overall .

The mental health system will diagnose, drug and gaslight you. If you don't submit you're blamed for not being cooperative. My therapist traumatized me more and like my sick family, they are protected.

Thank you for this juicy content I am really benefitting from the exercises you recommend ☺️

What an excellent presentation. Thank you. ❤️

Thank you so much for your help doctor snipes I love your videos.i watch them all the time.have a wonderful Christmas 🎄🎄

What you teach is gold. Love you.

Thanks 👍 you for this messages

So many gems here! ❤️

Praise God for you!!!!!!!🙏🙌💛💛💛💛💛🥰🥰🥰👌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

I know someone in his mid 20’s meeting most if not all criteria for dependent, avoidant and vulnerable/ grandiose narcissistic,I believe because of opportunity. As a scapegoat child growing up, he’s been raised since 16 by his single, successful dad who out of guilt has awarded his son with materialistic items, and an easy job, bringing him attention, praise, entitlement without having to ever earn it. He only seeks social situations which are certain to provide preferential treatment from his dad’s friends/colleagues or lifelong friends, each tolerating his infantile reactions or attention seeking behavior without ridicule or pushback on his delusional lies about himself. He avoids new experiences, social interactions outside of the home where he can’t keep conversation on himself. He throws verbal tantrums when the most ridiculous, inconsequential things challenge his sense of entitlement Severe arrested emotional development. It’s astonishing and very difficult to witness.

Sending you love and well wishes x

Thank-you for your interesting and informative talk. I really value what you have taught me.

TRUE SAFETY AND COMMITMENT,AND STABILITY AND LOVE, & 🤗😁😁🤗🤗🤗🤗😁 AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN

This is such an amazingly accurate & thorough class. I just wish so much of it wasn't my life. 😪 learning still.

I really enjoy your videos on attachment. I've watched videos from others on attachment but for some reason they way you talk about it really hits home with me. I do have a question about a couple things in this video and that's when you talk about people with a fear of intimacy and sabotaging their relationships out of a fear of abandonment is that a conscious awareness of it or subconscious. for me I never thought I did. I have a very strong desire to be intimate with people and have friends and family but yet I'm 50 years old and have never had any friends or any intimate relationships even though my desire for them is almost as strong as eating. And I see so many people around me connecting with others, going out with friends and family, living life and having a good time. And I just don't understand why that is. Maybe consciously I want that but maybe subconsciously I'm afraid and do things to push people away.

Not to be rude but these people are more empathetic than your average person because they know how they don’t want people to feel

It has been incredibly helpful, thank you so much

This is so helpful. Thank you for your videos!

She knows what she is on

Really amazing video. It’s opened a lot of windows for helpful thought.

My mom was disabled due to diabetes, so I was taking care of her as far back as I can remember. She loved me, but my dad was different. He wanted me to be a certain way. Good at certain things, into certain things, be stronger than I was. And I was never that "trophy child" he wanted. He would get really mad at me for not being good at sports. Yell at and berate me in front of people at games. Even go completely off on me at home. Mild physical abuse at least once. I never felt like he was proud of me. When I got into things that I like, instead of sports, he seemed to never be interested in what I was doing. Then my mom died when I was 10. I think parental love and care disappeared with her. It got even worst when Dad remarried. My step mother was controlling and emotionally abusive. Even classmates and teachers growing up. No one had my back. So I think I suffer from this. Almost every symptom listed here I have or have had. I recently learned about codependency. I'm totally someone who gives love, affection, help, and support in relationships. But I don't really get it back. I guess I think that's what will make them love me. Because that's how I got love from Mom? Because I never felt like Dad really loved me so I'm trying to gain approval from people? Like proving my worth to partners?

AMAZING VIDEO...THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH... LEARNING TO SET BOUNDARIES SO, I CAN(** WRITE MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER LOVE STORY!***) DR.SNIPES... MOST WOMEN I KNOW HAVE A LOT OF ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, NEGLECT, ABANDONMENT, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE... THAT'S ALL TRAUMA!! SO ,I WANT TO EDUCATE THESE WOMEN I CARE ABOUT!

This is amazing. I finally understand. Thank you!

I LOVE YOU! Truly! Thank you for all these amazing videos. ❤️

Your video is helping me with my healing process ( I have been doing for a while now) and alot of the childhood trauma and abuse ( on all levels) I internalized for a long time. I am almost 30 and the work of recovery with boundaries is something I know is going to be better for my future. Thank you so much!!! Keep going!!!!💛💚💜🤎♥

Thanks SO MUCH FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE EFFORTS 👍👍

Thankyou ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤!!!

You are great :)

Thank you as always 🥰

I've been trying to neutralize my "Kill it! Kill it with fire!" love language.

I was getting really good at managing my codependency ...... Then the Narcissist walked in

thank you.

That is whole therapy. Thanks

Thank you for your thorough assessments.

I am really enjoying your presentations. I cannot seem to find a therapist that is willing to work on these things with me. its very disheartening. I appreciate that you are repeating a lot of the same things I've learned from Dr. Levine and Gabor Mate. I just wish I had someone to bounce ideas off of, that helps me process things better.

It seems inevitable that codependents get involved with problematic partners - how could it be otherwise!? We are set up by parents, and by the cultural myth of “ soul mates” - - Patrick Teahan on KZfaq is really good on connecting cptsd and codependency.

How is it that I have amazing long term friendships but unsustainable romantic relationships?

Excellent information!!!

Great video!

Hi Doc snipes I have all of this. I ordered the book from Amazon and I am hoping to get better. I am trying to find a therapist that can take Kaiser insurance…so far no luck with Kaiser they are not very helpful.

Critical response: the motivation for this can be protective, as well. If you can see where pitfalls may arise and criticize the characteristic that causes the pitfall, you could address and avoid it. I think this is a valid motivation, but the approach is unhealthy because it destabilized the other person.

This is gold.

Thanks & good job. It sounds like we trade toxic relationships with our parents (narcissistic) in for toxic relationships with others (spouse, employer, pastor, etc.). How is that healthier? Can a therapist really fix a toxic culture (do as I say or get rejected/wage slavery)? That message seems to be the basis for many relationships. Will society ever be healthy (unconditional love)?

Thank you Snipes!

This is great! I also noticed that she has a Sarah Silverman voice LOL 😁

It is scary how relatable the "Symptoms and Rationale" section was...

I paid over $10,000 in therapists who were toxic, invalidating, cruel and they gave me horribly wrong advice.

Does Neglect count as abandonment? Also the foster mother rejected us foster kids too and provided no love. I disowned them last year due to illness. I can identify with many of the symptoms.

Please do a video on secure attachment style

Excellent. Thank you so much.

Like this woman so much so helpful

You understand and explain personality disorders so well. I have BPD as a result of severe childhood neglect. Do you offer one to one counselling?

That would be someone who doesn't love themselves 😲🤔 now a days if u stand up for respect u have issues......The only one u have to empress is urself Gods got ur back..............✌️

Everybody needs support but they don’t need to be babied. I have a healthy normal relationship with my family over the phone. Then the rest of the time I’m on my own during the day.

I feel like the poster child for every single CPTSD characteristics. It makes me feel sad and resentful. 😢

Thank you for sharing your vocation with us and me too. My vocation is Supporting and Guiding children towards 'A BeComing Reader' with traumatic set-backs etcetera. I am a Mosaic Down Syndrome + Autism with genius moments that keeps me a child,, so we collaborate while helping them to find their Voices as well. *)_(*

Thank you ☺️

Love the video

Enhance each other!!!

👏💝🎤🎯🙏Namaste Doc!!!