Completely agree with the work scenario and not wanting to feel like a "burden" or a "squeaky wheel". We deserve certain accommodations, but having to ask for them specifically, makes it feel like I'm requesting special treatment? I suppose I am... but I imagine it feels like a person who uses a wheelchair having to request a ramp for the entrance at work? It's something that should have already been in place? Enjoyed the video, as always... and look forward to checking out the channel you recommended. Thanks again!

Your music is beautiful. "The Letter" had me in tears.

Once again, can relate to each category! Though I'm only just realizing what an issue big gatherings (like a meal with lots of people) are for me. I've always forced myself through it in the past and though it hasn't always been too terrible, it's been so much anxiety leading up to it and then lots of exhaustion and sensory hell to recover from afterwards. I just don't enjoy big gatherings and I guess that's okay 🤷🏻‍♀️ Listening to you gets rid of all my imposter syndrome, you're basically the male version of me in so many ways!!! I'll definitely check out this other channel you've linked too 😊 100% YES to the kids thing 😂 Everyone around my age either has them or is popping them out, it's a spoke in the wheel of any friendship for me too 🙈 I know I've agreed with you on weddings and kids in the past and it's so true, they make me so uncomfortable! The best I can cope with is my 10 year old sister, but she is genuinely sweet and conscientious and she's just old enough to not be too insufferable 🤣 and she washes her hands 😂 I have the guilt of having to flat out refuse to babysit my littlest sister, 5 years old. That's a no from me 🤓 But yeah the guilt is pretty constant. I'm amazed my mom still asks me to. I don't think she understands that it's a permanent no until she's at least 9 🤷🏻‍♀️ My friend who's got a 6 month old recently asked me to be a bridesmaid. I, riddled with guilt, had to decline. She asked me just to be a guest, I also had to decline. I can't do weddings either! Funnily enough, I said to this friend earlier today "I'm the living embodiment of guilt" because she made the effort to get me an Easter present and drop it outside mine. She didn't expect me to go to the door, she's put loads of thought into it as always and here I am being avoidant of ALL my friends because of my autism (and other issues too). I told her I seriously don't deserve it and I hate when I can't/haven't reciprocated, it's a difficult one. I'm extremely grateful and I made that clear, but it's a few difficult emotions, most of all being guilt. YEY thankyou for the adorable video of George!!! 😍💖 I'm having a pretty awful time atm and it made me smile 🥰 especially as he's such a beautiful smiley boyo 😁 what a sweetheart 💓 It made me laugh when you said "He's becoming a man. I mean, he's still a dog" 🤣 Also, a wise pause between "master" and "baker" 🤣 The social pressure is the biggest cause of guilt imo, people not understanding why it's just not doable or just not worth your spoons. Your gift for your aunt sounds brilliant! Your workplace definitely failed you and it's completely their loss. I'm sure this might make me sound a bit full of it, but you seem a lot happier in this video 🙂 Just a little bit more well rested and motivated. I hope that's the case and that you're feeling better 😊 Anyway, I agree with the lot as always and it's so good to see you and hear you've made a new song too 🙂 It was wonderful to see George 😍 give him lots of kisses and cuddles for me 😁 (sorry, doggos are my weakness 🤣💙) Look after yourself Paul, keep smiling 😊

Thank you Paul for your videos. I’m 39 and I was diagnosed in March this year and I’ve been struggling to find info on autism that helps me make sense of who I am and why I am the way I am with everyone. I was a best man 12 years ago and I what a shit show that was and now I don’t speak to this mate anymore because I struggled to do a speech, even thinking about it now still makes me feel sick and guilty that I fucked it up.

The soccer story reminds me of how I justify getting massages when I travel. What would be weirder as a single 53 year old man, going to Disney World by myself, or getting massages when I travel. Never mind being autistic, being single is hard enough and adds a creepy factor all on its own. There aren't a lot of activities single men can by ourselves and not look suspicious.

These videos are such a fluid way of addressing the basic needs of those on the spectrum. You're explaining real life events and asking for minimal adaptations. However, also explaining the consequences. Such great autism awareness here. I really think you should be creating videos for autism employment programs/businesses across the country to showcase the realities of autism in the workplace! But yet again going above and beyond...................

Thank you Paul for again being so open and honest with your experiences , thank you for including video of little George , i love your channel, krrp up the fantastic work

I let my manager know I have autism and she does not take it into consideration.. she implied I am not a "mature adult" and said I don't seem to be able to get "simple concepts". I am getting so fed up. Most of the time my guilt stems from having to ask my coworkers to go into the kitchen area for me to get me things because it is far too loud in there for me. Or it may stem from not being able to pick up a shift off the cuff because the sudden change in schedule is very overwhelming for me. Things like that. Otherwise I honestly feel more abused than anything else.

I feel the same way about kids. 😅 Luckily my one best friend and even my sister all don't have or want kids.

Oh look at George!!! Nice. Yes the guilt is such a weight carried with each unmet expectation or invitation and have dropped a ridiculous amount of dough and just extra extra steps trying to make up for not being able to just be in relationship. Anything on the calendar creates so much anxiety on the lead up it just robs the joy. I’m so thankful you have a couple of good friends who will break away for you ❤️❤️❤️. Great vid

I had a job where I would come in at 7:30 am every morning & make sure I never left till 5:30-6pm Every Evening. (At the time I had No Idea I was Autistic - I just wanted to 'Prove My Worth' to the Company. Then things went a bit South for the Co & they had to 'let someone go'. One of my Co-workers 'Gary' who had less Experience than me, and would routinely come in late every day, and 'Go outside for a Smoke every 20 min' Etc Etc was the obvious Choice. But instead it was ME that the Boss decided to Let Go. When I questioned his judgment & mentioned about Gary - this was his Response "Oh Umm Yeah, No We COULDNT POSSIBLY let go Gary... He's the one that fixes the Printer every time its sh*ts itself. Oh, Yes and was the one that put up the Poster in the lunchroom or that little kitten clinging to the tree branch that says 'Hang in There Team!". "You see Erik, Gary's a 'Team Player'. You're NOT. 😮‍💨

Another great one Paul. Yes I carry the guilt around for those very reasons. I was in a wedding once as a friend asked me. It was tough and I left just as the reception started. Still feel bad about that one! George looks amazing, though maybe a little TMI regarding the chocolate treats in the litter box🤣. Just saying. I try hard to pass through the guilt as it is not healthy but alas it still comes. Hopefully your friend will understand.

New subscriber? Why the hell...!?! I subscribed cause I find you autistic, ähm authentic. Fancied giving your songs a listen yesterday. And even those confirm my impression. I guess, I like "hold fire" the most, whereas I like each feeling they strongly resonate with me. Glad, you make music, too!

I feel guilt over not seeing my grandparents more before they died. Like my family sees me as a cold person.

I am 72 year old female Aspie......most days I make no excuses for who I am. It took me soooooooo long to get here. It feels so good! To just say, "No, I have other plans"...."No, I would not be comfortable with doing that"....No to many things. But, yes to many more. Yes, to being a creative, compassionate, loving child of God! He made me the way I am. I try to embrace my unique, God given talents and strengths.

When it comes to volunteering i have a 5 second rule. Though I'm thinking of making it longer. Wait 5 and then answer. The guilt really resonates in me.

Sometimes having a pet is an excellent excuse for not going to events. Downside, as I've unfortunately found out, is that I have unconditional love for animals and have gone increasingly insane with the death of each one. I'll never have another pet again. Meanwhile my mother dies and I'm like 🤷‍♀

Hi Paul, You took me back to a time when I was a child and my parents were members of the local village twinning and we would have a French family stay with us for a week, of course I did not know that I was on the spectrum at this time and I would dread this week of hosting as they could not speak English and my French speaking is limited to Bonjour and Merci, and as yourself and others on the spectrum well understand is that our communication skills can be diabolical at the best of time’s. That week would feel like a year to me, and I won’t even talk about the time’s we would visit the family in France as that was a whole new ball game of unfamiliar food and having to sit at the table from 6 in the evening until gone midnight having to eat many courses of food that just made me want to gag while trying to figure out what was being said,being an adult has it’s downfalls but at least we can choose where we go and who we go with 😂

hey, I’m a new subscriber. just found your channel last night when I his supposed to be winding down for the night lol. can totally relate to all the guilt felt in this video. in terms of the workplace thing, I am very familiar with asking for accommodations because I am blind, although asking for accommodations is never easy and I really don’t like how it’s always put on us, and makes us feel like the burden. I haven’t been diagnosed as autistic yet, still struggling with whether or not I want to try and pursue an adult diagnosis, but I am 99% sure that if I were to be diagnosed, it would come back that I am autistic. I work in a busy retail store, and actually told my manager the other day just offhandedly that I thought I might be autistic, because I was sharing with her about how I struggle with the sensory overload of the loud store, as well as having to smile and make small talk and be customer service all day. And her response was “ i’m not doubting you if you think you might be on the spectrum, but I bet if you could see and look around you you wouldn’t be so sensory overloaded because you would know where the noise is coming from. “Or something to that effect. People always just assume that because I am blind, that is the cause of everything. If I could see, I would see a bunch of people doing loud people things, and it wouldn’t make a lick of difference how I feel. I would still feel just as overloaded as I do now. She said she didn’t doubt me, but then she kind of did. I felt miss heard. In terms of the friends and family things, yes and yes! I don’t do kids either. Although, the funny thing is, when I was a kid myself, one of my special interests was definitely babies. I used to want nothing more than to be able to babysit! But no one ever let me. But when I did get to be around younger kids, I felt awkward and didn’t know how to relate, even though at the time I desperately wanted to. Now, I just have no patience for their loud screaming unpredictable nature. I will stick to collecting baby dolls! I like friends events that don’t involve kids, going out for a meal with just the adults, or going over to someone’s house who doesn’t have kids, but I don’t have a lot of friends. Thankfully the one I hang out with most often doesn’t have kids. Just wish I got to see her more. And as for family events, definitely awkward. I don’t know how to do the small talk thing. I feel like people just talk to me for five minutes and then move on, and I’m left sitting there. And none of the conversations are ever meaningful or interesting to me. It’s always how’s work? How’s your apartment? It’s like wow. Boring! Plus you have to deal with the extreme loudness of the restaurant, and the annoying bill splitting at the end, and just now. Or, worse, if it’s at someone’s house, or catered, you are not even in a neutral setting. So everyone just eats and then it’s like what now? Most people mingle and small talk, and I just feel so awkward and out of place. Weddings are very much like that too. My brothers wedding and one of my friends weddings come to mind. At my brothers wedding I drink way more than I ever have just to get through it. And it was a decent time after I had enough alcohol in me and didn’t care, but it should not have to come to that. My friends wedding was just awkward because I did it sober, and couldn’t wait for it to be over. So yes, all this to say that I completely feel you! And thanks for your very relatable videos!

100% agree on the sneaking out. I get so anxious about greetings/farewells, I just wish we could wave and walk away lol

Oh wow I have a very similar relationship with my family. Even my own mom and dad too. I barely see them.

I also don't know what to say to a kid. It makes me really uncomfortable when they come to talk to me because of my dogs. I don't know what to talk about. It's weird to see someone with the exact same thoughts and issues as me. I've always felt like nobody in this world would think like me, but here you're saying everything that goes inside my head 😂 Your accent makes it more interesting to listen to your histories.

I finally went to listen to your song bones. Oh my God. Paul. Instant sadness. Really touched me to the core. I LOVE it. Is there any way these songs can be added to Spotify? I want them on my favorite playlist!

Can’t wait to hear your new song !!

My 48 year old daughter is on the autism spectrum. She frequently goes no contact with me....her mother. I know that I have not done anything offensive. I know it is just how her brain works. She needs lots of alone time. Just working and the tasks of daily living are exhausting for her. I get it! She has neglected her health so her no contact really scares me. It is so hard to have no contact. It makes my heart hurt so much.

I am so happy to hear that there will be a new song! Not trying to be sassy, just curious, at what age do you reckon kids stop being annoying kids? Overcompensating by giving gifts is so normal for me, but at least I am generous and the gifts are always sincere.

Hi to George!! 💙

😊😊😊

I hate mail. I have no idea why somebody can pay someone else to walk onto my property and shove dead trees into a box that society thinks I have to maintain, and all of a sudden I have to read the mail, answer the mail, dispose of the mail. It's like the person next to you at the table putting the burden on your wallet when they have no right to.

not into UK law but if yr mngr did only the formalities, you can go higher up, and if the boss don't adjust to your needs, than it is grey zone bordersome workplace pesting or neglecting disabilities / ergonomics in the work place; note the grey zone bordersome

I am 72 year old female on the autism spectrum. I can't do weddings. I can't do funerals. I can't.

"That autism might make him miss something" 🤣🤣 obviously they don't understand autism. Very common quality with autistic people is the inhuman attention to details in task that interest them.