As soon as they explained the safety perk i started cackling like a crone in an old Disney movie.
@HenshinFanatic10 ай бұрын
Legit same, the characters never saw the bomb-jump coming.
@QuakeMidaro10 ай бұрын
Grenade jumps are amazing
@bub144410 ай бұрын
When soldier from tf2:
@SergeyWaytov10 ай бұрын
Rocket-jump!😂😂
@SergeyWaytov10 ай бұрын
And Grappling section made me think about Titanfall 2 Grapple ability
@SLEPhoto10 ай бұрын
I'm reminded of the line from "Starship Troopers" (the book, not the movie) that, paraphrased, said "if you load a soldier up with too much tech, an opponent will sneak up behind him while he's trying to read a screen & bash him in the head with a rock."
@Gfish1710 ай бұрын
Poorly designed technology can't help anyone. Tech is more then just guns and computers, it's Blades and Rope too.
@AlexSDU10 ай бұрын
Input overload - where the user spend more time staring at the screen instead of their surrounding.
@barelyasurvivor12575 ай бұрын
Robert A. Heinlein was a Great writer. The Original Book was great, still have my copy on my shelf, as well as a Kindle copy of it and as part of a Heinlein collection in Kindle again.
@jeanannd10 ай бұрын
LOL, always like it when a story has intergalatic species as announcers. Especially for futuristic games and events. Never underestimate a 70 year old human woman. ;)
@Netherdan10 ай бұрын
Probably an ex soldier who got the chance to act as in her prime years due to VR game stats, and she's loving it!
@totherarf10 ай бұрын
Especially one who has gone in for the Strength and Endurance upgrades! ;o)
@amorphoussolid851210 ай бұрын
There was a seventy four year old known as Granny. Granny Gamer, and she ran through people with a combination of wholesome, totally out of pocket, and skill for days!
@robertschumacher270710 ай бұрын
Never, EVER underestimate a mean ol' lady.
@Allantitan10 ай бұрын
Legends say she still hasn’t stopped smiling
@njnjco10 ай бұрын
The gamer in me gloated every moment of this. It's so well written that you can easily predict what she is going to do, long before she does it. Glorious melee combat!!!!
@patriograysmark632810 ай бұрын
One imagines Jane prepared for the tournament by playing retro games, like Doom Eternal.
@boakley814710 ай бұрын
The glory kill mechanic does seem to be similar to the doom series
@filin_fill176010 ай бұрын
I hate and absolutely adore at the same time the fact that you called Doom Eternal a retro game
@patriograysmark632810 ай бұрын
@@filin_fill1760 in a future eSports tournament, it would be a classic/ aged title. Not to mention the humans having a fondness for combat simulation, both realistic and fantastical
@jacobhuff374810 ай бұрын
nice to see that she turned her enemy's explosives against him. EOD would be proud of her.
@Wastelandman700010 ай бұрын
I'm guessing she's retired EOD LOL
@nooneofimportance211010 ай бұрын
"Experience lad, you should learn to appreciate it!" This is one of those times where that statement has never been truer. I'm willing to bet JANE.SWANSON is a hardcore gamer.
@jukkiivi428210 ай бұрын
Unconventional build for win! Human winning with melee attack is so fitting. Thanks for finding and narrating this delightful story! For the Algorithm! For the Author! For the Narrator! For the Beard!
@truth995810 ай бұрын
Remember! You'll be here forever.
@darksider11110 ай бұрын
Thinking outside the Box can be very Dangerous, Especially if you know your enemy and Know how they think - the Poor Bastards never stood a chance
@boakley814710 ай бұрын
Sometimes just doing what has been done and proven for millennia is better than doing the new thing. Ex: this story
@davethompson332610 ай бұрын
I used to TTRPG with a guy that we all reckoned would be happiest with a force field and a sledgehammer.
@Kirishala10 ай бұрын
A clear example of why dismissing someone because of their age is a mistake, age means they have had time to get experienced and sneaky making them damn hard to beat
@antonfowler658210 ай бұрын
Reminds me of a line from a terry pratchett book " but their all old . Yes but their all old barbarian heros tell me have you ever heard of natural selection ? "
@JackPhoenixCz10 ай бұрын
@@antonfowler6582 "Beware the old man in a profession where men usually die young"
@pfcblint317110 ай бұрын
Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance. - David Mamet
@davidvincent570110 ай бұрын
I don't know about anyone else but I see this becoming a series. I want more author, please follow through with it. I can see it as a comic or animated. It reminds me of the mutant league series.
@andrewwalli112310 ай бұрын
Everybody gangster until demo knight rocket jumps across the map screaming gg ez
@anticarrrot10 ай бұрын
"Roll up and see the TERRIFYING Ripper with his blade! His magic knife will end your life Of one hit kills it's made He'll lunge right through your bullets And he'll stab you in the toe Then farewell to your controller Out the window it will go." Miracle of Sound - Call of Duty Circus
@Wastelandman700010 ай бұрын
Ah a music lover of discriminating taste! Miracle of Sound is awesome!
@BeauZoe10 ай бұрын
Placeholder Comment because wee I'm first I think. Wow Love the ending although I think it might have been even MORE funny if they realized that she was spam taunting the only way she could, since her melee button hadn't been remapped as the taunt key XD
@noobatgames332110 ай бұрын
you are
@peterwalls-qf7ii10 ай бұрын
Respect the old timers scrubs , we invented most of the tricks you take for granted.
@bim735510 ай бұрын
I couldn't imagine the fear of seeing all of your drones entering a smoke screen and then getting notifications that one by one they are meleed to death, your entire army gone without much of a fight.
@Vulture-106610 ай бұрын
Loocks like jane is a gamer from the 1995- 2000 s
@user-zv6th8fh8v10 ай бұрын
Too much Doom Eternal.
@timothyblazer174910 ай бұрын
Some Quake thrown in too :-)
@stevedixon92110 ай бұрын
I've played games in the past and had a few that ended like that. Just "where is everyone?...oh, it's over...wait, I won? I WON! YIPPIE!" Also: one of the scenes described reminds me of some of the demo players in TF2 getting to high ground.
@Adir-YosefАй бұрын
because it's pretty much explaining a sticky jump
@GenStallion10 ай бұрын
THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. ITS A GRENADE JUMP!
@RealArcalian10 ай бұрын
Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Everyone overspecialized in one direction, so she went the other.
@dalemorgan826310 ай бұрын
"I've got two guns right here!" _flexes_
@adamwatson594910 ай бұрын
Grenade jump!! I love this author! All hail agro!
@matthewbarr950010 ай бұрын
Omfg im dying rn ty to the author and to you agro just made my night the last quip she doesn’t realize that there are no enemies left because she has no hud lol take that meta only gamers bwhahahaah unorthodox play wins the day
@bradenalder901610 ай бұрын
Why it hasn't been seen is this is the first human to play
@kevincaruthers54124 ай бұрын
Two more seasons and the game will be dominated by humans while the aliens try to figure out what happened to their meta-builds. :)
@NerdyWordyMatt9 ай бұрын
Brilliant. Another fantastic choice. At first, I wondered if she was playing IRL but soon realised she was just winning gloriously.
@Blood.Angel.10 ай бұрын
For the story! For the author! For the algorithm! FOR THE EMBODIED VOICE!
@MidnightSmoke10 ай бұрын
yeah, I'd watch that. Here is your like and comment as payment for the story and to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.
@williamcastro301710 ай бұрын
Those guys never heard of a victory lap. LOL!
@geoshark1210 ай бұрын
Some aliens bout to die for mocking gaming gandma’s
@ArkaneOmega10 ай бұрын
I felt like i was watching hunt showdown and phantom crash mashup. Great stuff!
@Zippyser10 ай бұрын
That was absolutely fantastic!
@xuk604210 ай бұрын
This was hilarious 😂😂😂 wombsmasher 🤣🤣🤣
@darth_dan888610 ай бұрын
Gotta love the dex melee builds) Personally, I'll take that over the typical heavy armour + str melee any day.
@siliciaveerah93279 ай бұрын
Looks like a quality build over pure dex
@darth_dan88869 ай бұрын
@@siliciaveerah9327 Definitely. Well, that's why she's the champion :)
@karos00910 ай бұрын
Gun Gale online technically in the future :D :D :D
@Ibian66610 ай бұрын
Pretty good story. Nice pick. Especially the ending.
@eleventhprimarch530310 ай бұрын
Doom Slayer maxxing
@amorphoussolid851210 ай бұрын
We remember you Granny Gamer! So cool, so sassy, so old! A brief moment in time when your ass could be handed to you by a 74yr old.
@victortahlor403810 ай бұрын
Thank you for the reading
@stratometal10 ай бұрын
This is a prime example of "if an old warrior had the body of a young one". Also a part of me imagined the smoke granades being shaped like duckies and going quack as they bounce.
@Gilhelmi8 ай бұрын
Quack Bang out. 😅
@stratometal8 ай бұрын
@@Gilhelmi Exactly!
@merlinathrawes74610 ай бұрын
Electronics is not always the best way to go. They can be fooled.
@Allantitan10 ай бұрын
Why am I imagining a 70 year old grandma cackling as she beats all these xenos with their high tech builds while she just has the very basic equipment? …I can even imagine her grandkids being both amused and slightly terrified at how good she is 😂
@Shadow.Dragon10 ай бұрын
Great story; Excellent Narration!
@darnelljohnson531310 ай бұрын
I'm such a nerd, I realized that after being engrossed after 13 minutes. Like it was my favorite football team. This was worse because when i watch football i don't Listen to the commentary. Yep,, such a nerd
@allenmorgan100710 ай бұрын
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
@sam2x1310 ай бұрын
I kept thinking fallout. So many people doing power armor heavy gun builds. Then you have that 1 person who does a stealth melee.
@Azrael17810 ай бұрын
This story is a reminder that sometimes the best strategy and most advanced technology can't match up to a good old cocaine gorilla with an axe
@grillodofus7 ай бұрын
Shit this is better than any action flick Disney or Marvel have pulled on the last 3 years.
@Razalonjrt110 ай бұрын
Ninja Vanish it sounds like she chose or built a ninja and using her own versions of stealth to hide and strike when she chooses and use of smoke grenades like smoke pellets of old, A great story and telling as always :)
@AmbroseBoaBowie10 ай бұрын
Let me lay a little gamer wisdom out n you from an old gamer back in the glory days of Halo and TF2. The most important thing to know is personal skill will always beat meta. If your jumping into a game and you want to know the best way to top scoreboards, get the most kills, or just generally be better. Find out what people are complaining about the most. I can assure you is always something that forces them to slow down. Usually campers and rats. Speaking of, if you are not a fully grown child and are mature enough to sit still for more then 5 second. Be a rat to start out in the game. Play dirty, camp, cheat via exploits. Make it your goal to win by being the biggest cut throat scumbag in the server. You either become the king rat or you evolve your own play style. DO NOT TRY AND PLAY META! So many people lack the brain cells to understand that using meta weapons does not mean you will be better at the game! You will be miserable! Pros will eat you alive, campers will make you rage quit, and rats will make you uninstall the game all together. Never mess with meta, always start a game slow and work on getting a consistent 1 to 2 kills per life through unorthodox means before messing around with more main stream items
@KroMagnum410 ай бұрын
"I am a Jane Swanson and I am a Boomer!"
@Allantitan10 ай бұрын
Literally
@asahearts110 ай бұрын
Haven't even listened to the story yet, but I want to complement the author on their name.
@jameshall607110 ай бұрын
For the algorithm for the squirrel
@CaptainShield10 ай бұрын
Magnificent!
@Tang0Fox110 ай бұрын
The aliens aren't exactly wrong about the "6 guns" better line.
@Allantitan10 ай бұрын
Unless you’re going up against Jane Swanson apparently 😂
@truth995810 ай бұрын
Mr. Squirrel, looking dapper as ever. I need to know where that jacket if from though, if it's even from anything. At first I thought it was some 80's Dune Atreides... Then maybe rebel Star Wars. Hell even possibly a little death korps of Krieg. I don't know, but it's nice. I need more infomation, and more stories.
@Marcus_Postma10 ай бұрын
During one of the premieres he said it was an old military jacket he found, though I forget which military.
@Maj_Kasul10 ай бұрын
Now that was funny. ❤
@SilverMKI10 ай бұрын
In a high electronic warfare environment, time to go analogue.
@barelyasurvivor12575 ай бұрын
Another great read Your voice, and accents and acting add a lot to my enjoyment of the stories.
@nigelsmith736610 ай бұрын
Brilliant story and fantastic narration
@QuakeMidaro10 ай бұрын
Thanks for the awesome content as always kinda hope theirs more HFY E Sports episodes lol this was surprisingly good
@belorianuskane195210 ай бұрын
That was great!
@mackenziedrakeАй бұрын
One of my favorite stories. Many thanks.
@quinnhasse917010 ай бұрын
Before the video starts, I imagine humanity abused melee hitreg to a ridiculous degree: think tf2 hitreg and crit rate.
@Adir-YosefАй бұрын
better hope it's not a team game xD TF2 hitreg is wacky with allies
@unkownquantity494910 ай бұрын
This was awesome. I love this story. 😊
@asdrubaelvect803810 ай бұрын
This is an episode of sword art online season 2
@cysulzer370310 ай бұрын
Many thanks for all you do
@Ryvaken7 ай бұрын
The moment the announcer mentioned "the meta" I knew where this was going. Meta builds in any game tend to take a rock-paper-scissor approach where tactics considered non-viable are ignored as potential threats to guard against, meaning the stupidest tactics become meta-breakers.
@digger190010 ай бұрын
Brilliant
@jamesiewalters236010 ай бұрын
so THAT'S what you look like! you look good grampa!
@guacamoleman32534 ай бұрын
i can't believe that rocket jumping wouldn't be meta in the future
@Adir-YosefАй бұрын
it's hard to be meta when you are not supported. remember she had a skill that nullified her explosive's damage to herself, it is very likely the grenades just one shot you. and people could only discover explosive jumping because the explosives didn't one shot you
@HRZNEclipse7 ай бұрын
Grenade boosting and a double jump. I just see Titanfall with a crazy armor kit.
@julesmasseffectmusic10 ай бұрын
She Spiderman'd the game.
@shojunx10 ай бұрын
The only strange thing about her build is how she so accurately targets her opponents with 0 ability to detect them so it seems... The author is making fun of us.
@dragonboysmith713910 ай бұрын
Most of her opponents had just finished a fight so she was probably just sprinting towards the sound of gunshots.
@VelociraptorsOfSkyrim10 ай бұрын
She's using the good old Mark 1 Eyeball and Mark 1 Ear to find her opponents.
@Wastelandman700010 ай бұрын
And if they think she's bad, wait till they see how crazy our actual soldiers are LOL
@loyperkins408810 ай бұрын
I really liked this one!
@WOLF-KING10710 ай бұрын
Good stuff
@metaempiricist10 ай бұрын
Damn that was good!
@zzombeemuffin10 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@AgroSquerril10 ай бұрын
My pleasure , thank you for the dono
@raz67510 ай бұрын
Demoknight tf2, enough said
@deus0rcinus88910 ай бұрын
Damn funny story
@ifitsnotbrokenfixit119310 ай бұрын
At the end I thought that she was T-bagging or Dip Dip potato chip 😅
@SLEPhoto10 ай бұрын
Nice!
@Iveno-Von-Aethervein10 ай бұрын
Fuck yeah.
@erushi550310 ай бұрын
why did i imagine I_Rule getting his head chopped off with savagery equivalent to conan the barbarian and optimus prime ahahaha
@robertstoneking79169 ай бұрын
I was hoping for a chainsaw but the devs haven't learned about those yet..
@eyllyssaunders53453 ай бұрын
Grandma with the sandal
@aaronlefebre50609 ай бұрын
You just know the devs are gonna have to patch in melee support before next season, now lmao!
@noctusdoesthings10 ай бұрын
*crack* *sip* Now Quake 3, that was a good game.
@geoshark1210 ай бұрын
DEMOKNIGHT TF2
@SpitfiretheCat1610 ай бұрын
_Demoknight TF2_
@raz67510 ай бұрын
*demoknight tf2*
@michaellively646710 ай бұрын
BadAss. Also could you bring back First Contact?
@Wraithfire2710 ай бұрын
Granny plays Titanfall or Apex I'll bet on it.
@HenshinFanatic10 ай бұрын
Nah, this is proper old-school FPS chaos: UT, Quake, and Doom type stuff.
@CorvidknowsАй бұрын
So much fun, and I'm not even a gamer.
@antonfowler658210 ай бұрын
Hmmm looks like skyrim grandma got a new game
@number376610 ай бұрын
Hey look, she beat everyone with a TF2 Trollger Market Garden Build! Edit: SpitfiretheKat just let me know this build would be closer to demoknight. Jane is just Demoman's mom with the tide turner.
@SpitfiretheCat1616 күн бұрын
naw that was 100% Demoman
@number376615 күн бұрын
@@SpitfiretheCat16Oh shit, you right
@eliandervalderen584910 ай бұрын
When humans play war games we expect to play them for hours not 20/30 minutes