Humans to xenos: Violence is never the answer. It is the question. It's up to you whether our answer is yes.

Evil alien overlord: Deal with them Human: Finally *One year later* Evil alien overlord: oh god, you're killing them!

1st story: Ah yes, the "turn war as a concept into someone so atrocious, so monstrous, that no one will ever want to wage war ever again." Tactic... a classic.

Galaxy: *locked in stalemate* Humans: Time for space 'Nam! Galaxy: Oh fuck, what is this? Humans: An average Tuesday.

“By any means” don’t let loose the dogs of war if you’re not prepared for the outcome

"Drop a fucking moon on your front door." Someone watched Infinity War

2nd story "Espionage" not found. "May I plug this into your central computer?" well played humanity, well played.

Ah yes, the negotiator

"Wining isn't everything. It's the only thing."

And at the words "By Any Means" the death pact was signed.

Both stories are instances of humans getting to space and realizing “man…Aliens are pansies.”

This story - "Humans are honorless and cowards!" A different story read by Agro - "'Humans have 'rules for war? how stupid! We'll break them, and see what happens!'" (Humanity abandons the Geneva Conventions, and shows the galaxy we are NOT to be fucked with) Same second story - "Can we get some of those 'Geneva Conventions", too? PLEASE?!"

I feel like the first story missed an opportunity to quote a German general, who when asked how to make war more humane responded simply, “make it quick.” A war that was just 1 battle with 1,000,000 dead is better than one with two dozen battles with 100,000 dead each. I think it was Falkenheim the senior?

Peace is a scenario which occurs when there are no enemies left alive to fight you.

Humans: "So what do you have to offer us?" Xenos: //Ohshit quick computer run a diagnostic on human entertainment and interest points!// Computer runs through data and returns suggested results Xenos: "What are 'furries' and 'weebs' and 'D-N-D players'?" Humans: "Wait, let me see the dat.... oh. OH... well played, ambassador, well played. You need not fear any military aggression from our direction. Though I do advise your people t not delve too deeply into the entertainment sectors of our internet system. We are not liable for any coincidental or perceived misrepresentation, appropriation, sexualization or mental and societal trauma such things may cause onto any of your member states or individuals." I mean, if they are a federation of sentient carnivorous species, then there has got to be at least some species that look like werewolves, dragons, or the such?

Me sitting here as a simple human: "I'm confused, the humans seemed rather restrained for people told 'by any means.'"

The first story is why you never say "by any means" even if the persons you give the orders too are still using a rule book. the second story is making a false estimate of a new player is a terrible mistake. Both stories are why you learn the history of newcomers.

FTA story 1: Make them fear war so that we can have peace story 2: I liked how they were logical carnivores but I doubt that RTS games would be superior than an space alien tactical simulator, I can see our civilian population having a higher decree of military knowledge than their civilian population in average but dubiously higher than their military leaders

It was Sherman who said "War is all Hell." Visit Hell on your enemy, make them realize what they unleashed, then make them want to end it.

1st story: Ah yes apparently the aliens found space William T. Sherman.

*humans use standard war tactics* WARCRIMES!

Always negotiate from a position of strength.

“Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” -General George S. Patton

Of course he threw a moon at them

Humans: throu a Moon on a planet. Aliens: ARE YOU MAD, HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH ATROCITY? Human: wait until we Destroy your sun

War is a game that we have trained for since youth, all the way back to antiquity. We use board games to develop strategy, tag to learn speed, hide and seek for ambush tactics, chicken for calculated reckless abandonment, team sports for team discipline, poker for combined probability and opponent assessment, and every other game serves these or similar purposes. Our culture breeds warriors, tacticians, survivors, and conquerors. We encourage fighting when you have nothing left, and breaking the whip that lashes you.

I wonder how aliens would react to the game DEFCON. Sounds like a terrifying thing for them, where they see how we could end ourselves.

You can't eat Honor.... How very true

The story, 'Negotiations' was a bit confusing as Humans are omnivores, not herbivores but the author seemed to be labeling us herbivores. Humans aren't mindless cows...well unless they watch a lot of news and movies. As the story was read I kept waiting for this third, non-human, herbivore race to be brought up.

HMMM let me guess Is it us kicking there ass again?

Funny thing about Negotiations to me: I'm betting the opening offer to humanity was on par with the treatment you get from the Citadel Council in Mass Effect, which is absolutely abusive and bordering on polite servitude. It's really awkward when the oppressive would be tyrant is also so pathetic you feel bad for them.

Oof imagine being a filthy xeno and being shown literally any Warhammer 40K / Dawn of War content. For your species that might be a culture-defining atrocity; for us that's just Blood for the Blood God on any given Tuesday

The second one was even more eeeeeEEvilly wickedly joyful.

Got a problem? Humans will throw a rock at it. Big enough rock to make sure of things.

Drop a moon? more like nanite swarm.

"Decline and we show you exactly what Humanity is capable of!" Fixed it for you.

Alien leaders: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE Humans, singing: 🎶Napalm sticks to kids🎶

Nice to see a "herbivores don't make it to space" story in light of all the "carnivores don't make it to space" stories out there.

Always love seeing this guys videos in my feed, keep up the good work man!!

2nd story, Humans shaking down the rest of the federation Gangters style. "Be a REAL shame if that space station you're planning to build gets hit by a rock" type of hint.

Aliens find Humanity: Please help us end this war at all costs. It has gone on for so long. Claimed so many liv_ Humans: Still bantering on? We are already pushing into their inner worlds. By the way, we really hope you weren't planning to live on some of those, we kinda dropped a moon on a few of them. Aliens: Dear god... what have we done?

love having your narrations running in the background whilst i do other things. Although the timing of "and now on with the story" followed by an advert is entertaining.

When you tell humans "By any means possible" we take it literally!

"By any means" Humans, already readying to do the most jackass shit conceivable on a galactic-scale: "YES MY LORD!

The last story is almost too human. We like to glorify our war strategies as heroic and brave. But if we found ourself among the stars with a galaxy woefully unprepared for war and conflict, would we stay our hand? We would have near total dominance so only that thin membrane of civility would shield the other races.

3:43 yup Humans to xenos: Violence is never the answer. It is the question. It's up to you whether our answer is yes.

War is war, and Hell is hell. And of the two, I think War is worse.

An old Marine proverb: Peace through superior firepower.

i see humanity got real "proportional" with the xenos

Ahhh the music i so perfect with these tales May i be permitted the knowledge of what the soundtrack is?

Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The Silence is their answer.

Someone better call Rodger Smith for the Second Story.

That first one has a certain MLP-esque "I'm gonna love and tolerate the HELL outta you!" feel. well done! edit: The Gamer Master Race Cometh!

We blew Nukes in our Own and ONLY viable Biosphere... We Nailed our God to a cross. DO NOT TRY US! Space Boi...

1st story; that means other species never experience a total war between their own nation-state. 2nd story; so...wed let starcraft players as field general and stellaris players as strategist and the galaxy is ours.

Summation of second story: Say, that's a nice Federation you have there. Be a shame if something were to happen to it.....

For the Narrator! For the authors! For the algorithm!

"Anybody else want to negotiate?" "Uhh...w-w-where did he learn to negotiate like that..?

Example League of Legends really good game for learning basic tactical grouping. Information gathering and ambush and gorilla war fare. Also a good way to learn about thinking like your enemy

That's a nice galaxy you've got there! It'd be a Shame if something should happen to it ... 😎

While it's hard to understand and accept, war NEEDS to be a horrible, terrible thing. If it's not, if it's only something that affects a few handfuls of lives for the worse, why bother to make peace? We humans (at least most of us) have rules that govern war because while we understand it needs to be nasty, if we don't regulate the absolute worst aspects of war there will be no one left to enjoy the peace. And if anyone thinks herbivores aren't dangerous I suggest the look up examples of these herbivores on the attack and/or defending themselves: Bison, Elk, Moose, Water Buffalo. Hippopotamus, Rhinoceros, Elephant, Horses, Turkey, Ostrich and Geese just to name a few. Herbivores can be dangerous. This is something many people simply don't understand. Just ask some of the tourists at Yellowstone National Park who happened to be gored by Bison.

it asked, I answered. for the sake of a moments safety, I loosed damnation upon the starts.

Scary tactics is needed to end war some times.

"By any means"?? Offt, you done f**ked up

2nd story. Let me point out that predators are often hyper aggressive towards rival predators when they do have the advantage. Lions and Hyenas are very much willing to kill each other at every opportunity, for instance, sometimes even at significant risk to themsleves. As such, I'd be hesitant to push all those aliens too far lest that instinct be re-ignited in them, and they with what is presumably a pretty substantial head start in tech and industrial base start learning concepts like quantity having a quality all its own, or war of attrition, or a quite literal version of scorched earth.

Two of the better stories 😎

1:44 this reminds me of another HFY story that had 8 chapters, where Humanity was forced into being uplifted to fight a war, and then the Alliance glassed earth 😢 8:18 good thing Humanity here showed no mercy 😂

Bob the dragon

Ah, yes. Another HFY ode to War Crimes

For the algorithm!

Now those were great stories.

Aliens : reeeeee war crimes! Humans : bud you haven't seen enything yet

For the Squerril

I dont mean to be "that guy" but i was wondering if you wer going to continue the First Contact series. I vary mutch enjoyd it and i feel it would be a shame to leave it unfinished. This was quite well done tho. For the algorithm!

"Your mad" Not as mad as some historical peeps(dropping a moon not included thats a good kind off overkill). Loved the story been away from hfy glad to see these.

I read the human's part in the voice of Captain John Sheridan.

The only thing worse than war is a LONG war.

When humans initiate the "Heaven's Fall" protocol

that is an interesting take on humanity in that second bit, that the harshness of the world has set a docile tone in people that eat the living to survive, and i'm just reminded that hippos and deer are some of the highest aggression animals that can be found as they have some of the highest attack ratios... ... even in video games, Monster Hunter's DIablos is apparently a veggitarian but is often seen throwing corpses around with its horns... angry as can be lol, but on this note, there would still probably be more omnivores out there, many insects are and wasn't the projected estimation of insectoids to be around 70% over all other biological life forms?

Someone comment on this when it's out. If you do I will mail you a... Taco. Ya, a taco

I just wanted to know whether @Agro Squerril has seen beast: book one yet?

That 2nd story feels like space mafia

I have the sneaking suspicion the author of the second story mixed up herbivore and carnivore.

the first story could have a very volatile.. but also full of potential time after that cease fire... examples of variables for it.. 1. the humans know they might have an edge in total and 'practical' warfare experience.. but is also not feared ,even by its allies as the ''monsters of the void'' so better stay ready but by the same token... only enough to discourage immediate retribution and ensure no local fires re-ignites the large war 2. the aliens might have some younger or more 'thinker' people that are struck by the epiphany that.... disturbing as the humans ruthless actions was it highlighted both ther large factions ways of waging war.... become trapped in traditions rendering it useless for anything but suffering agenst each other ,and toothless agenst any external threat. 3. lees resources wasted in actual war allow for reconstruction and expansion in a more stable phase...avoiding the risk of say stumbling onto some other war skilled species like humans...but that lacks its diplomatic desire...

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

keeper going

Thanks for the video.

First story: Human: We have done these things so you will consider peace to be a more viable option. Will you negotiate a peace today or shall we create it by removing you from the universe?

Aprecciate your work, For the youtube gunk.

Just commenting before reading- just in case i forget to comment and help with algorithm jazz

FtA, FtA(s), FtDV!

If you tell us to win never say dam the cost

The first story was similar to a ST TOS story.

is all fun and games till humans play dodgeball with satellites

All is fare in love and war

Even assuming that the humans did commit atrocities how many years of stalemate to equal the Carnage?

neat

For the algorithm

Who hasn’t ternd a RTS game in to a mete grinder

I think herbivores and carnivores got mixed up in that second story.