These people will do everything BUT break up

Well, you did go to far by breaking things but you should juste have break up.

Sooo she's living rent free and largely bill free in your house other than paying the utilities, and her part was trying to find a new job that she stopped doing 1/2 a year or more ago and cleaning and cooking...and she stopped cleaning months ago to play a game about *virtual* cleaning? And you're asking if you're the AH for adding to the mess she couldn't be bothered cleaning up before leaving and *she* cleaned up everything but the extra mess you made out of spite and went to her parents? She's taking advantage of you and you're letting her. BREAK-UP! Find someone you have feelings for who *also* contributes to your combined household either with paying some bills (depending on their income) and/or household mmaintenance/chores. I'm pretty sure your ex will come back wanting to reconcile after *you* apologise, but don't fall for it; she'll just get on her parents nerves and they'll want her out and she'll remember how good she had it with you and act like she's doing you a favour.

Change the locks.