'Touching women is essential, but it can be very dangerous' It's dangerous if you look ugly

My father is a psychologist, when he graduated he worked for a brief time in a orphanage. He told me how they would ask him for hugs and physical contact desperately and it was heart breaking

The difference between flirt and being called a creep depends on how handsome they guy is.

I am 68 my wife has not touched me of her own volition for over 20 years and it’s devastating. I was at a meeting a few months ago, when another club member lightly touched my elbow as he walked past and said hello. I got butterflies in my stomach which I thought was very strange at the time. This talk explains why I had that feeling, thank you.

The only time I ever blew up at a girlfriend (called her 'insufferable' and kicked her out of bed) was when she recoiled from my touch. Turns out she had just started cheating on me.

i am a 29 year old man and I was at party a few months ago, and a lady touched my hand and I lost all train of thought, even when as a male, we don't get complemented a lot, a girl last complemented me 10 years ago, and I still to this day remember what she said.

Just a reminder. Women rate average men as below average, and there is a study that shows beautiful babies are held more than ugly ones. So everything he's saying rigged against ugly from the start.

There is a lot of truth to that. I lost my wife a couple of years ago & it's the little things like cuddling up together in bed, or cuddling up on the lounge, or even having her in the passenger seat of the car while I'm driving & rubbing her leg that I find myself missing the most.

Guys remember to be Tall, Rich and attractive ✅.

I don’t know why this is a consequence I never considered. A lack of love and affection can create an promiscuous and undesirable (at least to traditional men) personality in a woman.

In my teens I was so deprived of human contact I actually did not know how to react when someone did hug me or just randomly touched me, It was more a mix of happy, wtf and confusion. I think that is true with most men. Most of us average guys are extremely deprived of that romantic touch, so our brain just goes into "WTF do I do" mode when it happens.

Way less expensive to pay for a weekly massage than the liability of getting tangled up with a modern woman. I did the math and cost benefit analysis and now do acupuncture once a week and massage once a week. Pretty darn nice.

I am a month away from my 65th birthday. I realized the woman I am with now is truly in love with me and attracted to me, as a man and not for anything I have or she can get out of me, when she not only made it clear she wants my touch, but actively sought and continues to this day to seek touch with me, to touch me and to be touched by me, both non-sexually and sexually. It is truly amazing, incredibly intimate, both as part of foreplay before sex, and for its own sake.

The lockdown made me realize that getting a haircut was the only human contact I ever have. Didn't realize it until i got a cut and she washed my hair. Became emotional underneath that washcloth. It's just sad.

The Romanian orphans are heartbreaking. Always very interesting footage, but devastating. No baby should be treated like that. Also, knowing parents tend to cuddle less with boys should be a wake-up call to all parents to make a conscious effort to cuddle with them a lot. There's no such thing as too much attention when babies are still very young. They won't get spoilt rotten from cuddling.

I love how this guy speaks the truth even on very controversial subjects. This really was a great episode. I think he’s right at every point.

A fellow student of mine accidentally touched my thigh for a nano second. He pulled away immediately and apologized. I said, "It's fine" and I will never forget the look of surprise on his face. He thought I would freak out. This was a sad moment of realization for me...

Fun fact. The highest paid public speaker in Australia in the 90's was Amanda Gore. She would speak at corporate seminars advising men to touch women when you communicate since women are always touching when they communicate. She's on YT but I don't know if her 90's act is still there. That didn't age well because women have been reporting men for touching them and I mean only on the shoulder. I did notice that when the Canadian PM was 1st elected he would touch people when he communicated. So it is still advocated but I would never advise any man to do this in any work environment in the metoo age. I stopped touching women after receiving two complaints. The last was for empathizing with an upset carer when I picked up my 4 year old daughter from day care back in 2002 at Nazareth child care W'gabba. Both complaints were for briefly putting my hand on the shoulder like the Canadian PM does.

Keep your hands to yourself at all times. Remember, even chads catch charges if the woman is scorned. Make sure she initiates the contact first, in public (cameras a plus), and with witnesses that aren't her friends. Not from experience or anything

Dear Alexander, it dont happen only in Romanian orphanages, it happens in totally "normal" homes , that is a reason humans are so effed, the loveless parents, doing the same from generation to generation.

'Tenderness is a deeper instinct than seduction, which is why it is so hard to give up hope.' - Michel Houellebecq.

I am sure a lot of guys would want nothing more than to cuddle with a woman that loves them but as we all know, 90% of men are automatically selected out.

Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine hugging an imaginary person, it gives me goosebumps then I want to cry

Building up touch as a prelude to intimacy is key. You need to take your cues from the woman's body language. If she is displaying open body language facing you with her body open, (no closed arms or making her body seem small to you) it is likely she is comfortable with you. You have to start small, maybe touching a shoulder, or a lower arm or guiding her to a table if you are on dinner date. Ask to see a ring or bracelet if she has jewellery it will give you a chance to hold her hand or touch her forearm. If on each of these occasions she recoils or seems uncomfortable back off. If she comes closer to you and reduces her space between you this can be a cue she is comfortable being intimate with you. Women know they are physically weaker than men, and need to feel safe and comfortable with a man before they trust him, lunging or leaning in for a kiss before these other stages are met are going to be met with shock and refusal from a woman who feels threatened. Having said this, I don't envy young men now with #MeToo, it must be a minefield to navigate.

This made me remember hugging the first girl I really genuinely loved... (At a ridiculously late age in life.) I took her back to her grandmother's house where she was staying at the time, and for two hours I just stood there and we hugged. That's not an exaggeration, it was at least 2 hours. We didn't sit. It wasn't sexual. We didn't speak. I just hugged her and was hugged in return. And periodically would tear up and breathe raggedly. Just from the sheer emotion of that contact. Damn. I had forgotten that moment till just now.

9:51 I was a pretty crazy kid back in elementary school. I would always get into trouble and cause problems for the teachers. I remember one time I got sent to the nurse. I don’t remember what for I don’t think I was in trouble, I remember that I was angry at a teacher, though. The nurse noticed this and hugged me, and then the water workers were up and running. That was a good cry.

Your new haircut looks really good, I dated a girl some weeks ago and we went to an aquarium. In the aquarium entrance there where snakes and the girl is super scared about snakes but she hold to me and I she felt much safer. She said she would have run away if I wasn’t there with her.

A relationship with zero intimacy is a dead relationship. If I'm fulfilling her emotional needs but she ain't fulfilling the sexual needs then my status in the relationship is not of a boyfriend but her gay best friend.

I just really like holding hands. That's the only touch i really enjoy on a deep emotional level

these methods on how to touch a woman reminds me of how you handle a stray dog. building trust slowly over time progressing the touching to where they are comfortable. strange comparison.

True. When I did summer camp teaching several classes each of 30 teenagers (mostly girls), I remember they were always more excited about the games that included touching (especially touching with the boys) than the games without physical contact.

I am a mother of five, three of whom are boys, and boys definitely need physical contact too. This is one of the reasons that physical play (rough-housing) between parents and their kids is important. Boys tend to really enjoy this. Typically fathers do more of the physical play and mothers do more cuddling. Both kinds of physical contact are important for emotional health and development.

You know his words are true when this video causes you anxiety all over your body.

This was a painful watch. Really painful. I'm a thin guy, genetically. Don't put on weight too easily, and weight gain beyond a certain point is actually medically dangerous for me. If you are skinny, and more bony than other guys, you won't get as many embraces or desired embraces from women, as do other guys who carry more flesh. The hunky muscle guy she wants to be embraced by more. Something they don't tell you much, if at all growing up. But boy oh boy does this make a big difference I've found out.

Thank you Alexander. You see, my childhood was difficult to put it mildly, growing up to narcissistic parents I find out now in my 20s more and more about things they were just too proud or couldn't be bothered to put the effort in and teach me. Stuff like this is what I have struggled the most with, human connection and especially human touch. When is it appropriate? How to read people's signs? etc. In a way you fill the role of a caring and loving version of my father.

Touching women is essential! Me in the Middle East: I'm good thanks 👍

Alexander Grace - I wish I had this kind of info in my younger days. Your content is undoubtedly helping many guys understand the female mind. Keep up the good work!

Disclaimer - I hadn't cried in over 3 years up until this point. Touch may not be the only factor but I definitely think it contributed back a few months ago, I broke down crying at a party, obviously liquor was involved. I was on the verge of the breakdown holding it in until one of my mates came over, asked if I was alright, and gave me a hug on the couch. As soon as I felt the touch, the flood gates opened. Since then I pay attention to people breaking & as you say the emotions often are held in and people are scared to be touched & be vulnerable. The whole time I was slapping myself in the face angry at myself for being emotional, for crying infront of a few of my mates. They all thought I was overreacting and it wasn't healthy to have such a period without crying or releasing some built up emotion, at the time I didn't see it as anything other than weakness. Hard to say what the underlying cause was but a severe lack of touch may of contributed also, me being single for 21 years & rarely showing or receiving any sort of affection outside of a hi-five. I'm probably just soft. Interesting video, thanks Alex.

I feel sorry for young men. The minefield they have to navigate for the rest of their lives is worse than being in Syria. I've essentially withdrawn from society. It's nucking futs out there. People have lost their mucking finds.

Haven't had a girlfriend in decades. I cuddle with my dog. Puppy hugs are where it's at.

I love this video. You are so spot on with everything you’ve stated. I am one of those women who’s had a traumatic and abusive past and it is so nice to meet someone who actually respects that I don’t want to move too fast. And someone who will respect my boundaries… This is probably my favorite video of yours that I’ve seen so far. Keep up the good work. You have a lot of really good content

Not only for mammals but, you can find videos of birds (parrots, hawks hens) or reptiles (snakes, lizards) or fishes pleased to be touches by humans. The touch is the primary sense that developed.

I love touch and physical affection. Unfortunately, I’m not a 10/10 dude so it’s virtually impossible to find someone who wants my affections.

I'm a man, I love MMA, I love massages, I also love cuddles.

That's why you just do BJJ, the submission holds can be uncomfortable, sometimes you're losing your blood flow to the brain. But when class is done I'm always in a good mood.

In a previous video, you explained that having activities such as martial arts or dance were good. I do a lot of tango and it has helped me a lot. First, I know that after, say 2 months without physical touch with someone, I become tense. My back starts to hurt. Although I always keep sex far from my dance, just dancing has helped me a lot. Second, when I met my wife, after a few dates, I told her that, if she wanted, she could come to a milonga to enjoy other people dancing tango. I also told her that I could show her how to dance. At first, she refused but after seeing how I behaved with other women, she accepted. I tried my best to be gentle and not sexual. She later told me that I won her with this dance. She felt good and safe in my arms. And I guess that what you are explaining about touch was at play.

Man I love your channel, I learn many things due to your Analytics.

Cuddle parties are cool and friendly. Really advise them if you wanted to cuddle and meet interesting and open people.

My family and I were talking about this recently. One of my sons mentioned that he hadn't been hugged in many months. Heartbreaking.

ex-muay thaii competitior-trainer, 52ys old here. what you say at 4:00 about martial arts and touch is 100% correct. I used to say to my students "fighting ,hitting-punching-clinching each other is the way of the male to express love to the other". And many, many guys who came back to training following a decade off, said that were missing the pleasure of physical contact. as well, I remember how strange contact is to a beginner, women and men alike have to learn this back as adult.

Thank you for making these videos, man I'm so grateful.

When it comes to human attraction or building friendships in general - body language, eye contact and even the way we touch each other plays a huge factor. And thats mostly because it cant be "faked" and can be seen rather clearly - money can be inherited from our families, looks are highly related to genetics and "personality" is an extremely vague term , making it non-definable.

Now I feel very blessed that my father is still playful with me and cuddles though I am in high school 🥲

The more I understand "love", dating, women, and relationships... the more I'm depressed. I should just stop

I was thinking back to my experiences while listening to the video, and your mention of a subconscious need for touch made me think about how I like it when people touch my hair. I have really curly hair and there have been times when people ask me to touch my hair. Sometimes I let them, sometimes I don’t, but whenever I do I always get that warm fuzzy feeling in me. I never realized it’s because I was needing physical contact. Now that I think of it I was never hugged much or cuddled much as a kid.

Alexander Grace totally understands where I am coming from.

Many years ago I sometimes woke up very much in fear without a direct reason. I'm pretty sure it had two major causes: lack of having a good close relationship and good touch by my parents (not that I was badly touched), in combination with bullied for three years at middle school. I had to resolve it over many years by hugging a pillow myself (I have had no gf to do it with). Kind of sad but just the way it went As a consequence of that reocurring fear I was too fearful to have a good appetite, which caused me to be several kilograms lower than I desired to be

I've used the thumb war technique many times and it always works

Alexander the GREAT. Much love brother

Now I understand why I punch walls sometimes: just to feel something on my skin. Maybe I should stop being ugly

Animals have proven that. It was a dog at the shelter that was literally terrorized in this amazing woman touch it it weld it yelped but she just kept slowly gently touching that dog and finally she was holding it and it was pressing every part of itself against that woman.

Dude your new haircut looks fresh!!

You are so right. I'm so happy I found this channel, you talk about things that I didn't knew I felt

You know I'm a guy and I was hugging my best friend (female) in 2 hours like 4-5 times and those were really long hugs. Afterwards I was thinking that I maybe more feminie then I thought because of that and now I know that I just wanted some love...

This could actually be really important for parents as well. Everyone, both men and women (especially if they want or have a child) need to watch this. By the way talking so much about how women doesn't feel safe around you could be the problem, really contradicts what you said in another video that women need to be afraid of a man to find them attractive

*I'm an Amateur Boxer* 3:48 - That part is actually surprising to me. And now that I reflect on it, maybe that IS one of the reasons why I got into Martial Arts. The last time I got touched or cuddled was when I was a baby and never again when I was growing up (currently 21) My Main Reason was simply my burning passion for the Art of Fighting.

Plenty of cuddling happens at rave parties. In the darkness, nobody will easily be able to see if you're ugly.

This reminds me of when my daughter was 3 and we were at a store and I was holding items to check out, and she got away from me, and runs right into this huge bearded man, wearing overalls, and she’s hugging his leg. And you never know how someone is going to react to kids. Normally fellow parents are understanding, but some people really don’t like kids, etc. And I run over and apologize, and get my kid off him, and tell her to apologize. It was strange, she had never done that before (or since). And I remember the look on his face, no anger, he actually kinda smiled. He was very calm, and said, I really needed a hug. I just thought he was being polite, and letting me off the hook for letting my kid get away from me, but after hearing this, maybe he just appreciated her little body hugging his leg?

Hi Alexander I am from india, was a really nice guy not standing up at toxic behavior of my ex wife and she completely ruined me as a person during 1.5 years of marriage.... Now I am trying to learn more and more and more about women before remarrying to avoid any potential Troubles in future... And you are the best person I ever saw Teaching about women.... Thanku so much buddy for being there...

No, you're right about martial arts- I started practicing at 13 and almost 15 years later I still miss sparring and socializing with the current opponent.

This is fascinating.. I see it a lot at work, some brush on you like a cat, other completely let guard down when your touch is well placed and "appropriate" We don't think about it enough but Alex explained everything!

As a guy I love being touched by both men and females. It definitely makes the friendship x10 better

You have blown my mind and educated my heart..

The five languages of love are: 1. Saying it (I love you) 2. Giving it (Gifts) 3. Showing it (Acts of service) 4. Time (No explanation) 5. Touch (this video)) Some people show affection in different ways depending on there upbringing. Touch is one way to show love. We all show, or want to recieve love in different ways. Touch is very important to me, but if you have a partner who was abused in adolescence, they won't show love through touch. It doesn't mean they don't love you, it means they want a different form of love.

Definitely a unique voice out there! Nice one Alexander, well researched and well spoke 👍

You really cover the Best topic's! Well done. Amazing info/content.

hugging non sexually is rather important, i always hugged my two sons, and they also do it to me, and is gratefying.

*500 years in the future* Teacher: "They were even planning on going to Mars.. but the civilization crashed" Kid: "Really, but why?" Teacher: "The cuddle hookers.."

Touch with power, CHOOSE YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS

Excellent. Good job, Alexander!

This video struck a cord with me. I used to be in a relationship with a woman who was very self-centred and never spent any time considering my thoughts or feelings but always expected me to consider her and do things for her. I had never had such a one way relationship like this before and to be honest it had not occurred to me that women in a relationship could be like this. One of the ways I responded to that was to not want physical contact or sex with her: that would have involved a level of intimacy that felt wrong under the circumstances. I agree that non-sexual physical intimacy is important for men too.

The Romanian orphanage part really got the point across.

Got outta the 'touch' habit during Covid, and now I don't even miss it.

love your videos sir. Carefully thought out and always makes sense

This was gold, I've been listening to Alex for so many time that I think now I got and know everything I need to make any girl attracted and happy with me, I just have't had the chance yet, and at this time I doubt I will ...

This video is absolutely on point. 5:56 - 6:21 Perfect explanation of how i've been feeling for a long time

The thing i miss the most about being single is the touch aspect, skin on skin cuddles are vital to me.

Sometimes sexual desire is actually the need to be touched so you don't feel so lonely

It's all about that oxytocin, we all need it. I should involve more physical contact generally with friends now I think about it

wont this eventually destroy civilization in general? when people can't even touch each other due to the false accusations of women? everyone dying depressed and alone with mental problems if this attitude continues too long

Meanwhile hard core introverts "I am an aliens"

Great post, thanks! This topic, 'touch' is vast, varies from culture to culture and is taboo for many men. Specifically re touching a woman, I NEVER initiate touch, period. Of course with g/f or wife that's different. Been single for 6+ years now, and I refuse to initiate it...mainly because of the possibility of mis-cues, an accusation of 'battery', being called a creep and yelled at in public. Every female in America knows she has the ultimate weapon at her disposal-the allegation of unwanted touch.

I hate to admit, this is very true for me I didn't grew up in family where I was touched affectionately often. And now that is what I mostly want in relationship. I thought maybe it's my love language, that's why I want it a lot. Buts it's hard to ask for touching and cuddles for me because it feels unmanly. 6:03 that is what I most in a relationship.

Love the haircut😍

Thanks again for your wonderful content, Alex.

A very unique video! Excellent dialogue!

Alexander: Human touch is essential Bruce Springsteen: enters the chat

I was very lucky, I got lots of affection off both my parents. My dad also used to play-wrestle me and my brother, even into our teens, which not only fulfilled the need for touch, but also helped teach us physical self-control.

I am just totally mesmerized by the way you speak so meticulously and meaningfully! With the use of right words and emotions. You should probably be teaching verbal communication skills or something 😄👏👏👏

Great video! Like the haircut