That joke about mercenaries shoving loner in water was actually good made me laugh 😄

One cool detail is that they recorded the same jokes several times with different voices, and some tell the jokes very artistically, with good intonations, while others tell the jokes intentionally bad, too monotonously, with bad timing, which makes good jokes sound bad and bad jokes sound good

The bandit grenade joke is pretty good

4:05 I can agree with this person. I am a veteran stalker and have been in the zone as much years as how much fingers I have! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17!

A STALKER goes to see a doctor; "doctor! I haven't had a good sleep in weeks! I have a terrible fear that snorks are hiding under my bed and when I go to sleep they'll jump out and kill me!" The doctor tells him: "I can fix that phobia for you, but not overnight. It's gonna take many therapy sessions and I charge a lot per session." The STALKER says he'll think it over, but never returns. Some time later the doctor is on a supply run and he sees the STALKER, he goes up to him and says "I remember you, you had that terrible phobia did you ever get any relief?" The STALKER tells him "I told my bartender about it, he solved my problems in five minutes." Obviously skeptical - the doctor asks how a bartender solved the problem? "My bartender told me to cut the legs off my bed."

Okay the one about the mercenaries dunking the loner was actually pretty funny, not gonna lie.

I like how free stalkers are usually the ones in the joke. They're just seen as some goofy dudes wandering around the zone getting into shenanigans.

I believe jokes were intentionaly bad and clumsy. To make contrast between harsh stalker life routine and rare moments of rest more intense, to show that these people are so exhausted by the Zone and the need to constantly be in suspense to survive, and now they sincerely laugh at even the most stupid and childish jokes. I'd like to think there's no dark or cruel jokes, because they will not be tolerated in community of stalkers. As for the controller image in jokes, I believe these gags were added in early stages of development, when devs had huge plans about AI system, which included neutral monsters with who player could interact outside of combat, like said controller, or scrapped "Izlom" mutant.

It feels really good to just hear them laugh. Imagine being plunged into the deepest depths of horror, and still being able to laugh. I'm happy they have each other to rely on out there. I sometimes find myself too caught up in everything to appreciate it. Also some of those Loner ones are seriously golden.

2:01 Actually had me laughing pretty hard

Oh fuck I laughed at almost every one. Here's an old military one. In the Balkans, the enemy turned an AA gun against the infantry charge, those 3 barrel 20mm ones. The private asks "comrade captain what the fuck is shooting at us?!". "It is an AA gun!!!" The recruit answers "Do I look like a fucking plane!?" Context is that very beautiful (and usually expensive) women were called airplanes, and places where really cute girls hanged out were called airports.

It's a great detail that at the bad jokes none of them laugh and start complaining and at the good jokes they all laugh. I always wondered why they laugh and things like that but never knew the answer. Thanks for the video man

The voice actor (example in the 2:01 joke) is my favorite. He legitimately tells the joke(s) using proper intonations and with applied character. Makes me laugh all the time. 😄

Gotta say that the Loner's joke about 2 mercs dipping the stalker into a well was actually able to make me laugh.

Some jokes are “clumsy” because well let’s be real, the stalkers in game are not exactly 20 years old xD Lots of old folk humour imo

Duty: Hahaha your joke is so funny 10 seconds later Duty: Bro shut up its not good at all

After so many years... WE FINALLY KNOW THE TRUTH!!!

The first bandit joke made me laugh because the delivery was so good. "What what? I don't remember" it's more charming when you understand the language.

Part of Stalker jokes are Zone adaptation of IRL jokes. Mercs drowning stalker - was joke about bandits of wild 90s (or ever of Russian Civil War times). Yelling stalker and beast - tourist and bear. Duty (or military - there is such variant) ambush and drunk stalker - factory security and worker-thief. "Radiation is no problem" - about real Chernobyl NPP accident. Brick and zombie - old joke about untolerance to some ethnic minority. In the other two Stalker games are talks about Duty and Freedom based on jokes about police and narcomans.

3:55 This laugh right here. I never knew what they were talking about, but this laugh always made me fall off my chair laughing.

8:00 damn these jokes really hold the finger on the pulse of what a miserable experience the life of a stalker is and how traumatised they are to the point of being unable to return to normal life.

- army major came to the zone for an inspection. Some things shocked him, some made him wonder and some... he took with him. - small bloodsucker says "dad, dad do the stalkers" a big bloodsucker grabs two skulls and says "-you sure those tunnels are safe vayna? - yeah i'm sure"

some of them are pretty good, especially ones about controllers, it shows what people fear most, and therefore make best jokes about

Я даже не думал, что в английской версии не перевели разговоры и анекдоты. Теперь я рад за англоязычных игроков.

The first military is a "zone" version of another joke thats about a man lost in the forest. Basically it goes something like this: A man is lost in the woods after stumbling around for a while he decides to just yell for help. a bear comes to him and asks "Dude why are you screaming like crazy?" "I´m lost so i hoped somebody will find me when i yelled loud enough" he replies The bear sighs and goes "Well i found you, now what?"

If you laughed at the jokes, youre a certified stalker. If you didnt, you havent spent enough time in the zone to understand.

I love how stalkers say the jokes are bad

Interesting to note, Loner, Duty and Freedom factions share the same jokes, just voiced by different voice actors with very minor variations on how exactly the joke is told. For example, I certainly remember the "Guy stepped into Springboard anomaly and learned to fly" joke and the "Monsters ok, Zombies ok, but why be scared of us Controllers?" joke told by some Loners. I also remember how the Loner version of that last joke differs - in the Loner version, the ending goes something like "Okay, I can understand the zombies... But why would you insult us Controllers by calling us monsters?"

The language is really colourful and full of slang that makes bandits sound like bandits, loners sound like loners and so on. A translation won't convey that unfortunately.

The joke at 5:20 is actually a pretty common cautionary tale for kids in Russia, kinda like “the boy who cried wolf” story.

8:19 wtf npc's moonwalking

04:20 Even the humming in the background laughed

“Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's cant remember who he is. Says The Zone seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great Stalker Strelok is in village tonight. Go and see him. He should know who you are." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Strelok .” - Monolith Joke.

This video was more than needed. Thanks a lot for making it :)

3:11 was not bad XD

2:01 I have to admit that was pretty funny

A lot of controller jokes, probably because they look somewhat human. Also might be because stalkers are terribly scared of them and try to ease their fears by joking about them.

I find 09:38 funny. It shows how Slavs love to complain.

I came up with one myself, a bit of a long one.. Two Americans travel to the Zone to become stalkers. One of them ends up joining Duty, the other one joins Freedom, but one day they need to team up to complete a mission deep in the Zone and also need to bring a random East European stalker with them. On the way out they ran out of anti-radiation drugs, then their protective equipment goes out of service as well, so all they have to protect themselves from radiation is vodka. Eventually they realize which way to get out of the radiated field, but they only have so much vodka left that is only enough for two people, so one needs to be left behind. The Freedom stalker sais, "Man, we've been best buddies since we were kids, and I don't agree with Duty, but they do want to protect the world from the horrors of the zone, and your death would be a great loss for them," then he looks at the East European and sais, "And you.. we just met 2 days ago and we barely know each other." The Duty stalker speaks next, "Man, we've really been best buddies since we were kids, and I don't agree with Freedom, but they do want to find the value in the unknown wonders of the zone and share it with everyone, and your death would be a great loss for them," then he looks at the East European and sais, "And you.. we indeed just met 2 days ago and we barely know each other." Then the East European guy sais, "Gentelemen, I have a solution that would be great for all three of us. One of you is a proud Duty member, and it means that if you die, you'll be remembered as a brave protector of humanity. The other one of you is a proud Freedom member, and it means that if you die, you'll be remembered as a great anarchist hero. And me... I'm a proud East European, and it meast that I drink for two." To clearify: I grew up in Hungary, and appereantly with over 21% of our population being alcoholics they've just beaten Russia, but the rest of the ex-Soviet block are really not far behind. I think all the drunk jokes are well earned. I also originally wrote this joke in Hungarian with Biden, Zelenskyy, and Viktor Orbán of Hungary getting lost in the desert with not enough water and Orbán sais that he's a proud Hungarian who drinks for two.

Some were actually horror stories and i like there are different reactions to a joke as well.

Some people do tell jokes monotonously, but someone do it with proper intonations and in-character. Here's a Russian meta-joke for you on this matter. A man ends up in prison. He quickly gets acquainted with his cellmates, and starts adapting to his new lifestyle. At one point, the convicts gather to tell jokes. One of them stands up and says: "21!" Everybody laughs. Then the other stands up and says: "47!" Eveybody laughs again. The man gets confused and asks the local boss, what's this about. The boss tells him: "You know, we've been telling all those jokes so many times, we've remembered and numbered every single one. So we simply name the number, and everybody understands." "So interesting," the man says. After everybody laughed once again at another numbered joke, the man himself says: "60!" But nothing happens. No one's laughing. The man gets obviously confused and asks the boss: "But why didn't they laugh?" And the boss says: "Eh, you just have to know how to tell jokes..."

А где знаменитое -ВНИМАНИЕ А-НЕ-К-ДО-Т -... -блин, так не смешно же

I have a Stalker Joke! Two Mercenaries walk into the Bar... And they get shot by Duty.

Oh hey you actually made it! Epic Ive been waiting for this Some of these jokes are actually really good i wont lie They actually made me laugh hard The rest are wack Also, weird seeing a controller being mentioned several times and all of them seems to be neutral or even friendly to other stalkers Final edit: i notice the "stalker: shadow of chernobyl" in the title, does that mean youre planning to translate the jokes on clear sky and call of pripyat as well? That would be awesome dude

Loners unironically have some good jokes.

Sad to see such happy men get mowed down. Or maybe even brutally murdered by mutants. The bandits laughing actually made me feel like they are happy. Theyre just doing stuff to make money for themselves or family. The zone is one heck of a place

monolith joke: oooh monolith monolith ooooh monolith? hahahahahahahaha monolith

Шутки про кровососов наверное только в зове припяти... ну будем ждать второй части значит

The biggest punchline is Freedom, which you already posted. But I'm grateful for this, too.

Wow I started watching this channel 3 days ago and I thought: "man who knows how much time will pass until I finally know what are they saying in the jokes". Looks like only 3 days! Keep up the good work!

7:36 Great dialogue. Some of them are tired of these jokes 😂🤣

i love how the military guy laughs, it’s so genuine

Translating russian jokes is pretty much impossible, first - dialect, yes english has some dialects but far from what russian has, dialect is important because everyone talks differently: bandits talk like gopniks/unsavory british elements in bad parts of *bad* towns and use different words for pretty much everything - if you've studied proper russian for 5 years you won't understand what they say at all. Loners talk like normal people that don't even use slurs that much, etc. Lots of details lost, not because the translator is bad, but because it's just too much work or simply impossible to adapt to english. On the other hand translating things like 'break a leg' to russian is not a problem, cause you can literally come up with new words and most people will understand you, not that there are no instances where you can't adapt things, it happens just much rarer. Don't recommend to learn the language, it's too much bloody work :)

Jokes that are kinda different on original: Loners: Jeep and controllers - there was not a "mess on the back seat", joke was about that controllers write (scratch) bad words on a jeep itself. Two Stalkers by the lake - there was no tail that shedding, there were scales (fish or lizard skin) that itches instead Young and veteran Stalkers - actually, everything is same except those 2 were from a "Dolg" Military: Scary Creature - instead of "Do you feel better" there was something like "And what's the point?" Vasya that wanted to be a pilot - actually, really accurate, but in original he didn't LEARNED how to fly, he... Actually flied lol ~ Other joker were translated without changing anything

Thank you for keeping the music/ambient sounds. This game is all about the atmosphere and these lines wouldn't be the same without it.

It's a pity there isn't neutral or even friendly encounters with some mutants. For example friendly, speaking izlom names "uncle" in the garbage. Player could've donate to him some food, smokes, vodka. In return it could said to a player a joke, warn of the danger in a specific area, wish a good hunting. Also one in four or five encounters with mutants could've be passive agressive, when Chimera with full stomach would just scared you off. That would be something.

I can't wait for Monolith campfire jokes…

Waiting for the part 2, the one with two newbies and a bloodsucker was my favourite

Keep in mind those are 2007-2009 jokes for game

The invisible anomaly under the tree joke changes location and characters, depending where you are located in the game. The same story is repeated by different stalkers, with the details changed, like it is a well known local joke. for example at the Garbage they talk about sending a bandit under the tree. one my favourites is this one: (edit: the joke at 8:20 is also told in this way) A military officer interrogating a stalker: -Do you admit that while been drunk you tried to sneak out of the zone, in the area of the military checkpoint 12, carrying unregistered firearm and items forbidden for export out of the zone? Stalker is getting tired, he’s been interrogated like this for 3 hours so… -Yes I admit it. I was DRUNK. If I was sober I’d never try to pass so close to you bastards.

0:29 This one actually made me laugh lmao

8:50 got me

Some of those are quite good, like the one with the rookie and the veteran. The common saying is that rooks don't listen to vets and get killed; so the punchline is the complete reverse. But by far, the best is the "murky water" one xd

This video is a godsend. With all the jokes about Controllers communicating with STALKERs just like that, it does make you wonder whether they were supposed to be something more than just aggressive, brainless monsters. By lore, they should have at least a human-like intellect and the ability to speak, as evidenced by the Zaton controller who even warns you to not trespass into his cave. With such an intellect comes the choice of giving in to base instincts after becoming twisted like that (remember, Controllers are former criminals - humans - that were experimented on in one of the X-Labs, likely the Brain Lab X-16) or to actively combat this through discipline. I wouldn't complain if there would be an actual Controller NPC in STALKER 2, maybe some kind of hermit. Same goes for Burers as well, as they were created by a similar procedure.

I didn't know Wolf was such a good comedian.

Great stuff! Subscribed!

Hey, the last joke was pretty good, it wrapped up the video nicely.

I Love your content . I hope all the best for you ^_^

YEEEES, FINALLY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

The bandit jokes are cash. Great stuff.

2:01 the best joke 😂😂😂

With all the jokes referencing cars, it's highly likely that these were all added in during the phase of development where they were still trying to put cars in the game.

The one where the Stalker calls the controller "Doctor" really got me.

Cool that they made references to cut content

The mutant shitting in the back seat of a car joke is so widespread that I don't think it's a joke but rather something that actually happened

These jokes and stuff bring so much more life and intriugue to the zone, id never thought about controllers not trying to kill someone, and hearing how people just talk like buddies makes the Zone feel lived in, talks of cars and pubs feel so out of place but i guess in the games we only ever see a portion of the zone

"Stalker and the well" is a good one! :D

That joke bout the Mercenaries and Loner got such a snort out of me that I looked like I sneezed, snot all over my face.

nice depth having jokes that fall flat and result in a sharp rebuke from the others

For a whole decade i sat around fires, listen to those jokes and never understood a thing... Thank you!!! i learned more russian from this video then 10 hours on Duolingo Also the one about a stalker shouting and a monster asking him if he feels better cause the monster heard his calls was a really good one

The joke about the Black Stalker sounds more like a story about a Zombie than "just" a joke.

2:25 made me laugh

Эх, господа, жаль, что вы не можете полностью этим насладиться!

Fantastic video thank you so much

The chill and generally relaxed atmosphere at camps was part of what made STALKER so good. Yes, the Zone is a place filled with killers, deadly mutants, reality breaking anomalies, and more. But every human needs a time and place to relax and unwind. It kept the whole place feel more grounded amidst all the chaos and gloom.

good work brother!

Woah lucky me! 3 minutes ago!!

These jokes are so much more fun when you understand them

Появился значит в зоне чёрный сталкер...

The Mercenary dipping a Staler down a well and asking for Artifacts or Money was damn good.

Сидит около избушки старый кровосос. Тут из избушки выбегает маленький детёныш-кровососик и всё клянчит: "дед, а покажи сталкеров! Ну покажи сталкеров!" Старый кровосос поднялся, пошёл в дом. Выходит с двумя черепами, и начинает сценку разыгрывать, как в кукольном театре: "Степаныч, а тут точно нет кровососов?", "Петруха, ну какие здесь нахрен кровососы!.."

The "money or artifact" and the "Black Stalker" are really good, honorary mention for the 50 rubles grenade

I love how Duty has 2 jokes and after the second one the other guy is like "Please stop."

knowing some russian myself, i am able to enjoy the full experience of sitting by a campfire with other stalkers and hear them banter and joke. makes me feel like i belong btw, some of the words are not correctly translated. although translating russian to english can sometimes prove to be quite strange. its a matter of "do i translate the words directly or translate it by its context and meaning?"

Thank you so much

2:02 "Where's the artifacts, Lebowski?"

That dipping stalker in water joke actually got me pretty good

I just realised that the Russian-dubbed version of the Metro Series rehired some of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'s voice actors. I always play Metro series in Russian dub. I'm pretty surprised that I didn't realise that Khan and some of the Loners were voiced by Oleg Stalchuk.

8:32 Вовремя он пить начал

This bandit is choosing the wrong place as their hidden out😂