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Allowing Our Pain to Turn Us to Christ | An Interview with Joy McCullough

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Leading Saints

Leading Saints

Күн бұрын

Joy McCullough is a Protestant, Evangelical with a background in professional counseling. She is the wife of Pastor Jeff McCullough, the creator of the KZfaq channel ‪@HelloSaints‬. She has four children and recently relocated to Utah from St. Louis. Joy spends a lot of time doing photography, thrifting, and playing violin, along with staring at the Wasatch Mountains.
She completed her undergraduate degree in speech communication from Greenville University and received a Masters in Professional Counseling from Liberty University in Virginia. Joy is not afraid of her own or other people’s brokenness. She has a heart for creating space for people to come as they are and to find true healing and hope through authenticity and honesty, free from shame. Her faith in Jesus informs this passion and approach.
For links related to this video, visit leadingsaints....
3:50 Introduction to Joy, a therapist and wife of Pastor Jeff from Hello Saints
4:50 What moving to Utah has been like as someone that isn’t LDS
6:30 Joy’s faith development and journey
10:00 The stigma of being a pastor’s wife and high expectations of other people
11:10 Advice to a pastor’s or bishop’s wife
14:15 Journey to becoming a therapist
17:00 Religion and shame. We don’t experience God’s love and grace through shame.
21:40 Helping someone through their shame
26:40 There is no shame in having a need or desire. You deserve to have your needs met and don’t need to feel shame.
28:30 When we feel broken we often feel shame. When people feel shame it’s because they have some sort of need. However, brokenness is an opportunity to receive and feel God’s love and grace.
32:30 How can a bishop help someone buried in shame?
34:00 Joy shares an experience she had as a teen with an abusive pastor. She carried shame from the experience for many years. However, she was able to heal by instead of saying what is wrong with me? But what happened to me?
36:00 We focus so much on the sin and behavior but we should ask what happened? Why are we going towards sin? What led to the addiction?
38:00 Sin destroys our identity. Knowing and feeling the love of God. Do you understand and feel your belovedness?
39:45 Even with grace our lives will not be pain free. We can experience grace but we are going to have to experience grief and sorrow.
41:00 Wounding and brokenness. We have to allow our pain to lead us to Jesus and not sinful behavior.
44:00 When we hyperfocus on the behaviors we bypass our hearts, we bypass our feelings and our emotions and try to achieve certain behaviors and what looks good on the outside but inside we are still a mess. We haven’t truly healed.
51:00 Showing up for people and lamenting with them. How can we do that when we haven’t experienced what they have experienced?
53:30 We shouldn’t try to pull people out of their pain but sit with them in their pain. We have to feel discomfort in order to heal.
54:30 Where there is shame there is also self hatred or contempt for others. One thing that transforms shame is compassion.
57:00 Joy shares how she has experienced Jesus in her life through trauma, wounding, and healing. “Jesus has held me together.”

Пікірлер: 30
@HelloSaints
@HelloSaints 5 ай бұрын
Joy is grateful to be given a voice on this episode. Thank you, @leadingsaints !
@JacenCB
@JacenCB 5 ай бұрын
Super enjoyed this you guys! Well done!
@zionmama150
@zionmama150 5 ай бұрын
You and your wife need to have a conversation with Jennifer Roach. She was also abused as a youth from a pastor. Her story may be powerful to explore if you can get her to agree to do a show with you. She is on “Me, My Shelf, and I” youtube channel.
@gailstark7483
@gailstark7483 4 ай бұрын
She is precious and should truly feel beloved. A beautiful person. I hope that she comes on again. Wise.
@sampson1952
@sampson1952 3 ай бұрын
Wow! This is so powerful. Thank you Joy McCullough for your wisdom!
@thetwitchells
@thetwitchells 5 ай бұрын
Joy & Jeff, what a power couple! I love when she said... I stopped asking what's wrong with me & started asking what happened to me & finding healing in Jesus. ❤ Love peaceful interfaith conversationsike this.
@brittanyrussell5937
@brittanyrussell5937 5 ай бұрын
The scriptures which came to mind as I listened to this are Matthew 11:28-30, where Christ says take my yoke upon you, for my yoke is easy. I love the perspective that all our brokenness is meant to be given to him, and he will alleviate all our burdens (although not instantly remove them). The other one is in Luke 22:31, where Christ tells Peter that Satan has desired to have him, “to sift you as wheat.” That verse has come to mind many times recently when I felt the influence of the Adversary, which reminded me of his active role in this world and the importance of recognizing and rejecting his attempts to control my destiny.
@TheTimlater
@TheTimlater 5 ай бұрын
They named you right…Joy! We love all your postings.
@Ahb7010
@Ahb7010 5 ай бұрын
Every last bit of my mess to Jesus!! That’s the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. 😭😭🥲🥲
@whitneylin4297
@whitneylin4297 4 ай бұрын
What beautiful insights! I so enjoyed this conversation, it’s very applicable to my life right now.
@mattpoulsen520
@mattpoulsen520 5 ай бұрын
What a gracious and lovely woman. Thanks for sharing your wisdom Joy!
@JaciWightman
@JaciWightman 5 ай бұрын
What a beautiful, needed conversation! ❤ I especially loved when Joy talked about the power of lament in our religious communities. I'm LDS, and I spent years pushing down my pain and calling it faith. But the Lord's been taking me on a journey to recognize that and process it with His help instead of denying it. Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing! Also, I just have to say that Dr. Dan Allender has been HUGE in helping me understand the beauty of lament. He's such a gift in this space. (I tried to share an article he wrote on this but it wouldn't let me post the link. 😬)
@marquitacollette743
@marquitacollette743 5 ай бұрын
Jesus gives us weakness so we will humble ourselves to ask Jesus for his grace. He then commands Satan to leave us and then we become strong.
@jerry_phillips
@jerry_phillips 5 ай бұрын
I just love listening to Joy. What a kind heart she has. I hope her practice takes off here!
@veraloveless4587
@veraloveless4587 5 ай бұрын
Her insight is so valuable.
@TBIhope
@TBIhope 5 ай бұрын
That's really powerful. Sin is just a result of unmet needs. That's so true in my life. Sins I've committed, sins I've been tempted to commit, and sins that others have committed. I can see everything so clearly now. Thank you, Joy. I can't remember the host's name, but thank you, as well. And thank you, God, for being patient and teaching this to me.
@AllisonBiggers
@AllisonBiggers 5 ай бұрын
What an incredible interview! This is a must watch!
@ThreeD.s
@ThreeD.s 5 ай бұрын
Sometimes i think we need to forgive ourselves for feeling!! In other words your feelings are first of all valid! No matter what they are. Then once you validate your feelings you can analyze and heal from them or change from them. I think we are ashamed to be what we are and we shove our “guilt” or “bad feelings” under the carpet because “we can’t be like that because we’re supposed to be perfect!” We may feel something we don’t like but if you don’t acknowledge it you can’t heal from it. You have to forgive yourself for feeling!!!
@gyoungberg
@gyoungberg 5 ай бұрын
I feel the thoughts and truths shared in this conversation deep in my soul. Thank you both for putting in the work to be able articulate so beautifully how we can find Christ while yet in our difficulties. Just beautiful!
@MissJanina1
@MissJanina1 5 ай бұрын
She's so beautiful! ❤
@zionmama150
@zionmama150 5 ай бұрын
We need to get her and Jennifer Roach from Fair in a conversation
@HelloSaints
@HelloSaints 5 ай бұрын
Yes!! Jennifer is amazing in this space!
@leem3299
@leem3299 5 ай бұрын
Superb ❤
@lindapotter1982
@lindapotter1982 5 ай бұрын
I wish I could give this more than one 👍. I started this a few days ago, but came back to finish it today. It was just what I needed. What a beautiful spirit of love and compassion were present in this conversation. Thank you to both of you!
@leem3299
@leem3299 5 ай бұрын
The "devil" destroying our identity as beloved, instead of a violent destruction. This moves the motivation to do good from fear/terror, to compassion for ourselves as we have compassion for others. Much more healthy.
@johnkay8388
@johnkay8388 5 ай бұрын
I think the big word that is not being said here is GUILT. Guilt and shame are not the same thing. We need to stop thinking that guilt is wrong. Guilt is good and I believe it comes from God when we do not follow his commandments. Guilt allows us to know we did something wrong and then it would then prompt us to change and turn back to doing God's will. Shame is bad and it is deconstructive. It makes us feel like we are not good enough to change or that we will never be able to be like God. Those thoughts and understanding of shame are not from God. Decerning what is guilt and shame is challenging but once you are able to do so you can grow spiritually and mentally. Christ's atonement allows us to overcome our guilt if we repent.
@JacenCB
@JacenCB 5 ай бұрын
I've worked amid the residential treatment center atmosphere with exleriential equine therapy backdrops for more than 7 yrs now. Very insightful and helpful.
@JacenCB
@JacenCB 5 ай бұрын
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