669. Narcissism Red Flags, Healing from Abuse + Moving Toward Healthy Love with Dr. Ramani

Рет қаралды 15,197

4 ай бұрын

In this episode, clinical psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula unpacks the complexities of dating in a narcissistic world and warns of the biggest red flags to look out for, such as ‘approach avoidance' and 'future faking' behaviors.
Sharing personal stories about her own experiences in narcissistic relationships, Dr. Ramani details the different types of narcissism you might encounter - from grandiose to vulnerable. In the age of social media, narcissism is an epidemic, but Dr. Ramani explains that healing is possible and fulfilling, healthy relationships are waiting on the other side of this work.
We also talk about:
Creating a compelling dating app profile
Recognizing and coping with narcissistic behavior
'Gray rocking' + 'yellow rocking' tactics
Narcissistic abuse + exhaustion
Moderate narcissism
Leaving toxic relationships
The history of narcissism
The importance of trauma-informed therapy
Resources:
Preorder Now: It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
Website: doctor-ramani.com/
Instagram: @doctor.ramaniIn this episode, Krista welcomes Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist famous for her expertise in narcissism. On a mission to educate the masses about this high-conflict personality type, Dr. Ramani hosts the popular Navigating Narcissism podcast and has written several books, including the forthcoming, It’s Not You, available for preorder now.
Dr. Ramani unpacks the complexities of dating in a narcissistic world and warns of the biggest red flags to look out for, such as 'approach avoidance' and 'future faking' behaviors. Krista + Dr. Ramani also connect attachment styles to narcissism and explain how to set boundaries around manipulative behavior.
Podcast: Navigating Narcissism
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Пікірлер: 42

@NUCLEARMAMA1313 3 ай бұрын

Yessss, slow burn... It's like as you are faced with the facts... You have no choice but to take on the painful truth that you have to let go of somebody you loved because they are abusive and not going to change.

@leahboynton1280 4 ай бұрын

Another way a narc controls time is how the time is spent is what the narc wants all the time. Most of the time its fun so you dont mind but they dont like to go out of their way for you or if the help you ask for won't garner up any supply or its not image worthy. They will be late for any activity or event thats important to you. They will include you in their life enough to make you think you're a part of it but if you observe they pick and choose where they want you placed like a game piece.

@indiebaby 8 күн бұрын

I noticed the narc began to just "keep me around" while they did things in their house. I got confused like, why am I here? Why did you invite me over to ignore me while you're clearly busy? I eventually just ghosted and never talked to them again. It was so weird and I have no desire to argue or explain their BS to them.

@GiantSlayer-rr1vu 4 ай бұрын

Ruining my life gave me hope as well after dealing with covert religious narcissists. I followed Dr. Ramani for 2 years and she woke me up to what the heck I was experiencing. thanks for sharing

@gemmaablao8078 4 ай бұрын

same of me I was in religious Covert narc for so long ,without my knowledge that he is narcissist when he almost drain me up 😢thankfully I able to survive it

@elenaangheluta 3 ай бұрын

Don’t blame yourself, from experience I am here to tell you covert on my opinion are the most hard one to spot , I don’t know about the religious one but I can immagine , much love

@yukio_saito 4 ай бұрын

I like the idea of "chemistry" as a red flag. 🚩

@TurnYourMagicAllTheWayUp 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for helping educate society about Narcissistic Abuse with the GOAT, Dr. Ramani. Spreading the word is key to avoiding these types of people!

@leilagomulka5690 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani rock and rolls. With insight and truth z

@sonjag.8686 4 ай бұрын

There is no such thing as unconscious behavior at a narcissist! They know exactly what they’re doing all the time! How to know that? When they behave different between people and situations!

@user-ry4hm4ww8d 3 ай бұрын

Such i dont know what is exactly, kindness, and empathy reasons and clearly never planning for me. And, narc boss can such a over the salad of decade relationship right now. When narc boss he was something was forever of married and limerently like of empathize manipulation of scums. Lexia I tried to hopefully movies in a theatres of Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. And do this movie was limerented? He can penalty, overcheating the relationship again!!! And/or on air relations. I complication the bacon of narc boss deal to without it. I really actual the finite of relationships to surprisingly perspective and I unlikely fish market again. When I never planning discarded to I had no longer make the therapist rage anymore to probably start the whole of therapist!!! I NEVER THERAPY ANYMORE. I ALWAYS DISCARDED. Thankyou I Appreciation With It.

@narmadha.ganesan 2 ай бұрын

Approach avoidance is one thing I learned big time! Thank you so much Dr. Ramani! Your knowledge sharing and videos have saved me from two narcissistic relationships. The last one was extremely brief and I picked on the signs EARLY

@heather3358 4 ай бұрын

I was aware of love bombing, I had no idea that I should also look for bombing in a friendship. Now I know.

@victoriavitoroulis3273 17 күн бұрын

Definitely love bombing in friendships

@EveningTV 4 ай бұрын

Great conversation. It is incredible to see this topic becoming so mainstream. I'd like to see some discussion about the relationship between this abuse, complex trauma and addiction, suicide and other tragic deaths

@katielung6515 4 ай бұрын

Never met more evil in my life then the x narc. The amount of pain and trauma this evil b* caused me in 12 months is more then my 51 years in this earth. Pure evil

@renchemarais8419 4 ай бұрын

Lovely Dr. RAMANI from CAPE TOWN SOUTH AFRICA Renche Marais

@shreyaindia4024 4 ай бұрын

God! There is beauty in the way u speak.. and I am talking about the host of this show... i am not yet talking about the greatness of Dr. Ramani.

@xaroraxaro 3 күн бұрын

Ramani is clarifying so much for me!... wow. Thank you

@gulfgirl7587 Ай бұрын

I became aware in 2016. I am only now ending it. We meet in 2012. I’m going to be 60 in July. PLEASE DON’T RUIN YOUR YOUNG LIVES! You have the Internet now! TEACH YOURSELVES AND HEAL!!! My so called Boomer generation is at a huge disadvantage but I’m hoping I can find happiness these last 20odd trades of my life left on earth

@victoriavitoroulis3273 17 күн бұрын

Agree .. 40 yrs ago I thought they were just selfish AHoles wow and I thought my husband was bi polar ..

@NUCLEARMAMA1313 3 ай бұрын

Just amazing listening to Dr. Ramani go through the list... I was told when I would talk about my problems that I was "dumping on him" that he is not my dumpster… when I had a list of stuff I had written out to talk about (because that's the way he would talk about stuff only if I wrote it out first) said it sounded like I was giving myself a pity party.... I'm really trying to forgive myself still for lowering my standard So so far below what I knew I wanted and what I knew I needed and kept asking for but kept getting denied...so ridiculous. I would keep trying and trying, but he played on that too and told me every time I would break up with him that I just gave up and that's why I was divorced twice. I would remind him that he had never been married so at least I had tried... One of the moments I would actually stand up for myself... But I was told to "stop trying to wear the pants in the relationship" ..UGH. I cringe when I think back to some of these things that I would walk away from so fast now.. Freaking Neglectful lazy d-bag.

@kowtherburhan 4 ай бұрын

Wow this was such a good listen! Life changing. Thank you ❤

@almost30podcast 4 ай бұрын

So glad!

@marysolomon 4 ай бұрын

Be sure to have a paper and pen available to take notes. Sos much in this interview.

@laurenhosford3503 3 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani is amazing literally saving my sanity … 2 months fresh out of a relationship with a narcissist and she is really helping me with my healing journey .. forever grateful

@NUCLEARMAMA1313 3 ай бұрын

Yes!!! Because the vulnerable narcissist can hide behind a keyboard to gather his supply...

@karenconstantine334 4 ай бұрын

We’re all by now really well aware of nars and toxic ones over all…. Now! Where’s the place to go to start healing? …We don’t need at this point to learn more about those of any form of toxic going on… … most important right now… how and where can we survivors go to start healing? Thank you Karen in west palm beach Fl

@NUCLEARMAMA1313 3 ай бұрын

Have you ever seen someone oscillate between vulnerable and grandiose or malignant and also display traits from the other categories because that's what I'm finding as you describe them... Vulnerable neglectful, grandiose. And. Self-righteous for sure. I see traits from all of them in my ex.

@NUCLEARMAMA1313 3 ай бұрын

Wow, it's like you described my ex -crazy to find that someone else had a pretty identical experience.

@ursulaszeles 4 ай бұрын

OMG it got real when you said machu picchu

@NUCLEARMAMA1313 3 ай бұрын

It's interesting.You said sometimes we stay in a relationship for safety.I'm curious what you mean by that... Because I personally experienced the feeling of being unsafe once I left the relationship which is what led to me running back several times... I felt like he was the only one I was safe with-- which is so ridiculous when he was the 1 abusing & manipulating me.

@user-rj2id7zu8l 3 ай бұрын

Dr ramani you have been my superpower for the last three years. Now I'm starting to feel that power on my own. You changed my life❤

@karenvonrabenau7196 4 ай бұрын

I would like to hear more about Dr R. take on The Gottman method and narcissism

@AM-jw2kq 4 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani has brushed on that topic in her videos and podcast episodes. How I've come to understand it is that "normal" or healthy ways of communicating and solving problems do not work in relationships where there's narcissistic abuse.. Narcissists don't see a need to change their ways.