I always watch your reviews before buying a game. I havent bought a game in years...

"As opposed to all those lovely well-illuminated crypts, where all the dance parties take place." I mean, one does hear stories about the Paris Catacombs

Am I the only one who is still upset by how Silent Quarries was cancelled?

1:23 "You're getting a FULL review!" 4:37 "I'm going to review the remainder of the missions from their names alone..."

"See how easy it is?! I just made that up!!" I want to say this to Hollywood so fucking bad right now. Enough of the reboots, remakes and reallys, as in really, really, really, really, really, really dumb.

4:41 Crypt of the Necrodancer.

So, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. The game is called "Alone in the Dark". The objective is to use 4 players to expose monsters to light and kill them. So... You aren't alone, and you aren't in the dark. Wow.

"But I really think the series has only been going downhill since Final Facility VII."

Yeah it's a special kind of embarrassing when ALONE in the Dark is a co-op game.

Good news, everyone. Final Facility VII is getting a reboot.

Everyone's raving about this "Final Fantasy VII" joke, but I can't get over the fact that he mentioned Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds!

"Shamrock Shake to the eyeballs" got an audible chuckle from me.

A mild remembrance of George Carlin's musings on the concept of the flamethrower. At some point in history, someone uttered the words 'boy, I sure wish those people were on fire, but I'm way too far away to get the job done. If only there were some way to THROW FLAME on them.' That would have been the end of it, but he happened to mention it to his friend. His friend that was good with tools. *Jet of flame spurts from a nozzle, igniting the general area* 'Say, mighty interesting idea ya had there!' *Turns handle, causing nozzle to spew flames toward a nearby building* 'You invented a f***ing flamethrower. Of course you did.'

The hunter should probably be careful with that flamethrower, or else he'll end up needing some ALOE In The Dark.

I'd say "Creepy Crypt" sounds more like a Spyro level than a Banjo-Kazooie level

An _Alone in the Dark_ game where you're surrounded in bright light? I was going to say that's like a Sonic game where you move really slowly, but then I remembered that _Sonic Labyrinth_ exists.

"The scenery's in cahoots". For some reason that phrase was very funny. Probably because I've played games with similar problems, and there's nothing more frustrating than having the world literally be against you in a game.

I love that they pull out the gem of the word "sonorous" and apply it to a sewer. Of all the things which are more potent when making sound, a sewer isn't scary in the intended way when filled with a chorus of echoing shits.

Coming this fall, a heartwarming tale of survival, sacrifice, and ultimately, redemption. Tom Hanks stars in a Ron Howard film, "The Murgh became Vurgh in Lurgh."

Wow, Yahtzee predicted Crypt of the Necrodancer. That is amazing.

"It's like online dating all over again!" God damn that killed me xD

So this really is "The Adventures of Edward Carnby: Serial Arsonist."

Completely agree about the Toowong station bit

I love that he mentioned Toowong station. No one outside of Brisbane Australia would get that.

3:56 I pictured that conversation being between Abraham and Father Gabriel XD

As a Brisbanite, I really enjoyed the Toowong reference!

So they got rid of the 'Dark' and now got rid of the 'Alone'. So is this game just called "In the"?

When he explained the light weakness I was about to disagree with him because I thought the plant idea of of sounded interesting and sort of made sense, like nature conquering death. Then sort of embarrassed that it wasn't the game he was talking about.

"Monster turn vulnerable when in the light" You know, I wouldn't say no to a co-op Alan Wake game.

Hey FT, I started beatboxing about a month ago and you're tutorials helped me alot! I'm glad to hear that you're good, and you look great too! I'm glad that you're honest with us too.

The light thing was good and made sense in Alan Wake. I wish there was a new open world more story driven/detective mystery type Alan Wake game. Searching for clues and stuff in the day, seeking out clues or safe spaces during the evening, uncovering the mystery of the darkness. It was such a cool concept it was a bit of a shame that it got a bit run and gun towards the end.

"because it should be put back there, with extreme force!" Oh Yahtzee

Thanks for making videos so often! You're one of the last youtubers I can rely on these days, always making insane metaphors and deliciously cynical content, that I know and love so well. You're my favorite youtuber, Yahtzee. Thank you!

…so it's like shitty mix of Left 4 Dead and Alan Wake?

Did anyone else see the title, swear under their breath and exclaim, "you've got to be kidding me"? How exactly did another Alone in the Dark game get made after the last one? They already got upstaged by Alan Wake, a game where you spend a large portion of the game in the dark and alone (but still didn't live up to the hype or scratch that survival horror itch that at this point has been so omnipresent it might as well be a medical condition).

Let's all be alone *together*.

Can't you change the name of the channel to Zero Punctuation already?

Been thinking the same as Yahtzee for so long (regarding multiplayer games) and went through the exact same thing he did when playing this game... even as far as creating a room and waiting 30 minutes to see IF ANYONE even does as much as enter it, always thought this game might have something interesting but oh boy was I wrong to get it before it was launched

Bahahaha I appreciate being local enough to know where Toowong is and why you shouldn’t catch the city line from there after 8pm (or especially the Ipswich line)

This is probably my favourite review yet

That Hatfall game is hilarious. My favorite part was running an LTD. I did so well they threw me a party.

Watching these at 0.5x speed is something I didn't think I needed in my life until I did it.

I miss hearing him make references too Brisbane 🤣

How has he never reviewed Fantasy World Dizzy?

The Nick Cave and the bad seed joke god dammit x'D

I don't HATE this game, I just pity the entire thing as a whole. Alone In The Dark, a once-venerable monument in gaming history, being the progenitor of survivor horror as a genre, now reduced to a fifteenth-rate Left 4 Dead knockoff.

A 12 minute long unskippable advert before a 5 minute video. Fun.

In all fairness, Toowong is one of the nicer stations on the line.

Original AitD protagonsit looks like a character from Leisure Suit Larry. I bet that if he was voiced, he would have a squeaky Porky Pig voice and a craven persona to go along with it.

Laughed my ass off (it is currently on my bedroom floor) watching his Judging by the cover video.

That feeling you get when listening to a Zero Punctuation review of Alone In The Dark, lose track of his train of thought while smoking a fat bowl, catch up and still get the gist of his complaint because of how long this poor franchise has been milked like a dying cow still hooked into the automatic milker. Sad.

I think we've found a good candidate for Yahtzee's bottom five.

If you ask me, Final Facility 6 was really the high point of the series.

Remember the Uwe Boll film

That music gets me every time :3 fucking beast of a tune!

LOL so hard at the funny bits. Especially when the words became mumbles and the level names are so funny! XD

Bonus points for the obscure Toowong reference

The Nick Cave joke sure had unfortunate timing!

Silent Quarry "Oh, I see what you did there." XD

I've never heard so many references relating to Brisbane from any youtuber

I used to love alone in the dark :( I had A new Nightmare on ps1 and it was great

Nothing makes me happier than a firefly reference

"Well illuminated crypt where all the dance parties are" *cough* Crypt of the Necrodancer *cough*

"Silent quarry." "I see what you did there."

Incredible review.

i didnt even know toowong station still ran at 1am in the morning...

So it's basically Angel Summoner and the BMX bandit lol

''Enemies that become vulnerable in light''... Sounds like Alan Wake's game ?

5:00 Sounds more like the title of the next Lemony Snicket book to me.

To all of you bitching about him doing Arkham Knight, go check the official website.

The 2008 Alone in the dark game was a rancid bag of pig bollocks and vomit and they somehow managed to make this one even fucking worse than that one! That deserves some kind of award.

The opposite of a hill is a valley, not a quarry. A quarry is manmade and dug out of the ground, usually for the purpose of mining, whereas valleys are naturally occurring depressions in terrain. So it actually should be "Silent Valley", not "Silent Quarry". And incidentally there happens to be a park named "Silent Valley" not too far from where I live.

"So the first time you know of its presence is the moment you get a shamrock shake to the eyeball" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

On Multiplayer. ProJared tried it. Guess what? When you pause, the "quit pause" button is closed behind a character sheet, I believe (sorry if wrong). And you can't click it. Clicking it will cause for the Character sheet to be clicked on, but since you are in the pause menu, IT DOESN'T WORK! Not even esc works

OH MY GOD, IT'S BEAUTIFUL! THE ENTIRE ESCAPIST CHANNEL IS COVERED IN YELLOW! IT'S LIKE SOME ONE MADE SOUP, THEN REMOVED THE SOUP AND FILLED THE BOWL WITH MUSTARD!

They missed the opportunity by calling the level quiet quarry, not silent quarry....or maybe questionable quarry?

I think the co op is so you can complete multiple objectives simultaneously.

Sadly, I can picture Konami trying to reboot Silent Hill by calling the next installment either "Silent Quarry" or "Silent Valley"

Everyone knows Final Facility VII is the best one. People who say Final Facility VI is the best are just plain crazy.

"Trade you ciggies for a Wank" ....Ha ha ha!

"thats what happens when you try to get home from Toowong station at 1 in the morning" hahahaha its so fucking true it hurts

Could you quite possibly do a Helldiver's review? It's a highly satirical fast paced isometric twin stick co-operative shooter what smacks of a glorious mashup of starship troopers, halo, x-com with a little bit of Warhammer 40k (I like to think of the Helldiver's as a soft of stepping stone between the imperial guard and the space marines.) The catch with the co-op is that friendly fire is always on, this isn't a huge problem however as if you are hosting you can simply kick anyone who is souring the mood with no vote or delay, their avatar falls down dear and they're booted all the way back to the title screen for their shenanigans, friendly fire does add quite a bit of challenge as it means that you can either save your allies from a horrible death with a well placed shot, or grant them a relatively painless one. "I'd expect any of you to do the same for me!"

I agree whole heartedly, the series HAS gone down hill since Final Facility VII!

Nick Cave!

Judging a game by itself sounds like a terrible idea, I would love to watch it.

I didn´t even know that this AITD was a thing

I am still waiting for him to learn about the FEAR mmo.... which is the series that he has already critiqued about the co-op focus in the 3rd game

I played one for the ps2... And it was horrible, why does every map pointer point me at a wall, why was it all on fire, what was the sound design, this is a game i wouldnt wish upon my worst of enemies, instead i would hang them and myself

I think you ignored AITD: The New Nightmare when mentioning the sequels. It wasn't so good it deserves special mention or anything, but it also wasn't as horrible as what came after. It introduced the whole "shine the light on monsters" BS, and adhered to RE's old school "find typewriter ribbons to save your game" crap as well.

The metacritic reference cracked me up, because that's precisely how I know about this game and why I'm here.!

Care to review Crypt of the Necrodancer? It was released a couple of months back.

I feel like this is the right place to state that Hatfall is fucking awesome. Because it is.

"a well illuminated crypt where all the monsters dance around" crypt of the necrodancer? anyone?

Hatfall: deceptively simple, and fucking aggravating if you've even been drinking A LITTLE!

the nick cave jokes sprinkled over his career still crack me up

Final Facility XIII: PTSD returns

It really says something when longtime fans like Projared, Angry joe and Jim sterling had nothing nice to say about this game

Can't hear any sound in Hatfall's browser version :(

assuming the sight of your own visage doesn't turn you to stone

Where's the Hatfall review Yahtzee?