GTA Online in free roam is basically a country full of Trevors.

How to enjoy GTA Online: Step 1: Never enter a public lobby. Only play with friends. Step 2: If none of your friends are online, then Step 1 does not apply. Go into a public lobby and immediately use passive mode. Step 3: While in passive mode, approach other players. Observe with a smile on your face as they become increasingly upset over the fact that you aren't allowing them to brutally murder you.

this has aged extremely well

65% Of GTA Online - Loading Screens. 30% of GTA Online - Dealing with Twats 5% of GTA Online - Managing to actually do what it shows off.

Man KZfaq 6 years ago was insane. Yahtzee dropped that with no hesitation. Hilarious

im glad im not alone in thinking GTA online is full of "twats".

I cant fathom the amount of times I would be driving around, to start getting shot up by a armoured vehicle and when I finally blow it up I get awarded with "LOL BAD SPORT, AND WE'LL BE TAKING THAT 6000 DOLLARS"

You can't rate a use-created track until you've completed it? So if you make a track that's impossible to complete, it will never get any bad ratings? Brilliant!

It's all fun and games until you notice one of the red dots on the map moving toward you at an alarming rate.

100% completely accurate. I'm incredibly unimpressed by GTA online.

You know what? Because of this review I'm actually gonna do it. I'm gonna get that game. I saw it everywhere and my friends talked about it for ages, but now I'm caving in. Thanks to ZP, I'm gonna get Crossy Road.

i remember joining a troll match where the mission said earn 1000000RP per match. The map was some large enclosed area with shipping crates surrounding the area with guns placed on top (out of reach...) and theres a stack of crates and boxes leading up into the sky with more guns. the host was the only one who knew how to up to that area, and when he did he was free to shoot and pick off anyone without opposition. Never whent back online after that.

I agree with pretty much everything. I still enjoy GTA Online, but the load times, waiting to get into a job or setting one up are real problems.

Yahtzee, I can actually comment on the score padding. You see, in GTA 5, unlocks on vehicle upgrades depend mostly upon you getting 40-50 wins. When you combine this with the harsh inability to make friends, since you're usually gunning one another down when not in a mission due to the "twat factor," then you are most certainly forced to close lobby trap players to win those mandatory 40-50 races since even if the player leaves the game it auto counts as a win assuming the host finishes the course. You could potentially win 40-50 races for real, but... as you also noticed... loading times... and unlocking all the vehicle crap could take days if not weeks. So yes, the game actively encourages twat trapping players for vehicle unlocks.

*armoured kuruma intensifies*

Lovely how someone can murder you 20 times but when you finally get the chance to strike back, your opponent upsides out and goes in passive mode. And how you can go in pm in a jet or attack chopper but can't in certain aircraft. I sometimes question if Rockstar thinks about the shit they put in this game. Because from what I've personally seen so far, they do not.

It's always pissed me off how only 1st is a win in the races. I mean, they managed the fucking medals with heists - Why not with races?

I've been saying for a while that GTA V is one of the most poorly designed games to ever be popular. It's outright insulting how un-intuitive this game is.

GTAO public is horrible. Worst thing ever. GTAO with a group of friends? Different story. That's a given in most everything.

True story Yahtzee. The first five minutes into the game I met a 16 year old boy who actually was extremely polite and showed me the basics and apologized after accidentally blowing me up. He even sent me a friend request. Once I realized I was not dreaming, on any drugs, or dead; I accepted his request. After playing for a good 7 hours straight I didn't hear the N-word once. And the only matches I ever played in that time were fair matches where I had a chance every time I am not making a word of that up. I don't even know what to believe anymore.

GTA Online just shows how disgusting and irritating human beings can be.

I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't mention the constant fucked amount of armored vehicles, tanks and fighter jets in free roam, how people abuse certain glitches and Passive Mode. Oh! And that job lobbies (that are not Heists) are almost non-existent because Free Mode suddenly becomes a one giant Deathmatch that is oh-so 'important' between crews all because someone said the N-word around a black person (or my favorite: calling Caucasian/white people the N-word) or something referring to Adolf Hitler or because someone is crying over their precious Free Mode K/D. That's why good online friends are awesome.

I honestly hate GTA5 Online. The game penalizes you for dying, the resource management sucks, and it's incredibly anti-cooperative.

Online is so much better with friends...but you need friends first :(

Also, hackers. So very many hackers. It is delightful to enter a server, only to find that some lovely twat decided to spawn a giant spinning blade in front of a major spawn point. Or to make themselves invincible. Or to blow up every player on the map, even when in their apartment. Then again, some will also shower you with weapons, cars, and bags of money. Still, sucks to hackers.

yea, the top 3 places in a race should all count as a win.

Yup, about sums up my feelings on the matter...

It’s amazing how this online mode single handily makes T2 and Rockstar billionaires

it took this man to describe GTA Online's Cancer perfectly

They may as well rename the game "GTAV: Loading Screen"

Online Gaming was the 9/11 of playing video games anymore

Another GTA Twatline story: Going on a heist involving stealing a plane from the Vagos. We clean up the airfield, blow up everything, and now all that needs to be done is for our leader, the pilot, to take the plane to another airfield... I don't know if the idiot just didn't know how to fly the plane or his controller was somehow malfunctioning, but if he wasn't having problems getting the plane off the ground because he didn't know that RB and LB are how to turn the plane while it's in taxi and not fucking using the ailerons with the analog stick, he was crashing the fucking thing while abusing us for not immediately doing what we were supposed to do (which we'd already done perfectly, and would proceed to do perfectly 3 times) when we were too fucking baffled at his own idiocy. I fucking quit on the fourth goddamn try, and felt terrible for the other two guys. I get the feeling the idiot was trolling us, though, so I think I at least did them a favor.

It's good to see someone other than me doesn't think this game doesn't think it's a gift from God or the best thing since sliced bread.

I love listening to my friend try and persuade me to get on GTA online, saying that people aren't as aggressive as I think (which calling that a faulty statement would be puttig it lightly) then I turn it on and find him, and what do you know some guy on a scooter did a drive by sticky bomb to our car. That is why I play online in a private server that nine of ten times has only me in it

As I clicked on this I thought "Ahh, this will be good". Edit: I was not dissapointed :)

-Join a public GTA Online session and head to a building you own. -Alt-tab out of GTA Online and open ‘Task Manager‘. -Select the ‘Performance‘ tab. -At the top right click the dots and then click ‘Open Resource Monitor‘. -From there, find GTA5.exe. -Right-click, and select ‘Suspend Process‘. -After waiting a few seconds, right-click once more and select ‘Resume Process‘. -Return to the game, and you’ll now have your own session! You're welcome :D

This is coming from lvl 90 player, i have about 200 hours in online alone. Game is fun until you get a ceo office and are about lvl 30 then it becomes a grind where you try to balance doing heists that take a long time to set up but give decent amount of money and rp ,VIP work that gives a lot of money fast and everything else (jobs) that give a lot of rp. You want that fast and expensive car but you also want to unlock that minigun at lvl 120 and rpg at 100. Also grind is made even becouse of developers trying to make you buy shark cards, most expensive item in game is yacht and it costs 10 million gta $ and to remind you 8 million gta $ shark card cost 70 us $ and it takes about an hour of constant boring grinding to get 1 million gta $ per hour. And they want us to report modders that spawn us money?!?

"The pilot accidentally clipped a wind turbine while picking his nose" lol, I found that funny for some reason.

My experience in GTA online: > Getting shot > Getting blown up by sticky bombs > Getting blown up by rocket launcher > Getting drived over, again and again > Kids scream insults into the microfone > Kids know more about my mom's sexual interests than me > Getting killed > Killed > Killed

"Having sex with one half of a conjoined twin is technically a threesome." I think you just inspired my next story.

I first thourght that GTA Online was a great idea at first but then I found out it had microtransactions and things like cars and weapons are locked because of a players level. Weapons and vehicles I can understand but why the hell do I need to be level 60 something to unlock the color purple for my car!? it's ridiculous!

You were waaaay to easy on GTA Online. Not one second of it isn't a gruelling and frustrating chore COMPLETELY fueled by carrot-dangling as opposed to fun. All the hard and expensive technical and design work is done (and done well) but game rules, interface, and selling tactics undercut the merits so utterly that I'm ACTUALLY impressed they found a way to shit so much potential away. There are things you can buy so you invest so much time to buy them, and then it's like.. now what... save to buy something else. And they keep introducing new stuff so it never ends... which would be great if it didn't take about 30 painstaking heists to afford the next thing. Payout is third-world slow, and prices are multiplied by at least a few hundred of what would be reasonable. When I stopped playing, I swear to God, I felt like I was giving up cheap meth and started to see that I wasn't really enjoying it but kept going back because some ridiculous and unfulfillable sense of incompletion was manipulating me to. Just say no, kids.

Always love hearing that intro you joker you ; D

Dude says the N word (with context) and not one comment brings it up, aside from one person making fun of the demographic playing GTAO I like this place

The imagery Yahtzee comes up with still manages to make me laugh out loud after years of watching him. Love it :D

I think I'm both anticipating, and dreading your Splatoon review based on your loathing of online multiplayer.

Aaah spot on, much love. Always the most enjoyable accurate reviews.

You and CinemaSins would be great friends.

I don't know why the people who play GTA online are such irredeemable shits. It's particularly infuriating when you join a lobby and the host immediately starts the mission without waiting for more players, then buggers off to do god knows what and idles the whole way through while you do all the work for him, alone. Or quit, in which case they just wait for another sucker who's willing to give them free xp. This happens literally 3 out of 4 times I look for a random contact mission. Or when some moron forgets to turn autobalance on in a competitive mode, then someone decides to join the other team before the match starts, making the numbers uneven, and creating a domino effect in which everyone join a single team and the match ends up as a 1 vs 9. GTA really brings the worst in people.

3 and a half years later, and it's still painfully accurate about the GTAO experience.

Padding your race wins was actually really important because you needed wins to unlock vehicle performance upgrades, so it actually rewards dickish behaviour to ensure wins. I discovered that I was one of the few people who could actually fly a plane from point A to point B without crashing so I'd sit in a plane race force starting the second someone joined before they could drop out because it was a plane race. At that point it doesn't even matter if they quit out since it still counts as a win.

Multiplayer: play as a level 100 that enjoys aircraft stunts, and races, and gets hate because I don't care about mindless killing. Single player: play as a middle-aged, fire breathing, super man, James bon, with a squad of mountain lions.

Argument: Valid. Carry on, Yahtzee.

Oh it's gotten worse. How about a super fast motorbike with homing missiles? How about a flying motorbike with missiles? How about a giant laser that has been patched multiple times and is still broken?

Its amazing. I scrolled down the comments and haven't seen a bad one yet. Well done

"The vehicle was destroyed." I'M F*CKING DONE WITH THIS HEIST.

I played GTA online for approximately 20 minutes before quitting forever. During this time I discovered that you couldn't simply steal and keep fast cars like you can in single player mode (oh goody, I thought, they've added *grind* to Grand Theft Auto...), and got killed by the same high-level wanker 3 times.

GTA: Online is not fun for anyone that isn't a cunting griefer. Not to mention it's designed to fuck you around every corner with stuff like losing money every time a cunting griefer goes out of their way to kill you. Overall it is the worst fucking conundrum when there are so many freedoms you're given while simultaneously forced to follow inane, strict rules on things like buying a shitty little hut to call home because first you have to reach a certain level to be able to unlock that ability but then also you have to complete a certain mission, too. So all the while you're trying to figure out how to protect yourself and your investments in the awkward, pre-teen driven warzone that is online play.

So Ironically enough I only just started watching this show a couple hours ago after seeing it pop up in my "suggested viewing" section and realizing the little character on screen was from Hatfall. And I only now realize it was the other way around. Long story short, you are hilarious, I am loving watching this, and Hatfall is way more fun than it should be and you should be proud of yourself for that.

2:58 - Prison Break with randoms in a nutshell

The only good experience you can get with GTA Online is when you're playing with friends and have a system that can cope reasonably well with the system requirements. Outside that, it's a hit and miss. Mostly a miss.

I went into GTA online trying to not antagonize other players and just mind my own business. That quickly stopped after the 15th person screamed down at me in his souped up car and tried to kill me with an assault rifle spray and pray strategy that actually made me pause and wonder if I WASN'T being attacked. No point in playing friendly in Rockstar games. Shoot first, listen to screaming 12 year olds later.

There NEEDS to be a re-review of this

2:35 Ooooh, that's what the Last Jedi reminds me of.

Oh no.. Yahtzee's six year old rant about scoreboards doomed Battlefield 2042

I'd love to hear what he thinks of the game in its current state, flying motorbike and such.

You perfectly captured every bit of it. :]

2:21 - "impromptu rocket launcher quick draw contest" - lost it

GTA5 ONLINE EXPERIENCE: *Join server* "hello? " "CYKA" "Goddammit" *Join server* "hello?" "?Que¿" "Goddammit"

Impromptu Rocket Launcher quickdraw contest.

The best way to do race stats is "Average Finish Position" where it literally takes the mean of what you placed in every race you've participated in.

Extra points for the moon and chow reference. Roll up!

I think the issue with most online multiplayer games is that most of the players playing are adolescents whos pubes havent come out yet. Not a big issue in BF,COD series because the entire point is just to kill the other guy. But atleast GTA provides us the option to going to passive mode and thereby ignoring the kids. But yes, the waiting time is the biggest turnoff.

Best Yahtzee review I've seen in a long time. Brilliant!

It's funny how Crossy Road is an "extension" for half the games I've played in the last month. Nice to see Yahtzee agrees!

Guys, are we just gonna pass the fact that Yahtzee plays Crossy Road?

GTA Online is one of the worst gaming experiences ever. The load times are insane, the "lives" system is unfair and artificially pads the game time and ensures that you dont succeed and pass missions and make too much money too fast. Everything is goddamned expensive so you need to find someone who cheated and modded money into your account or buy shark cards. GTA multiplayer in theory should be awesome but Rockstar wanted to make the most needlessly complicated and unpleasant experience possible.

... Nice analogy at the end.

That ending- speaks the truth for many.

thats why when i play online i go to solo session

I would pay money to have a video of yahtzee yell at a penguin for an hour

These analogies are hilarious. New sub.

He makes a very good point about the first person view.

wow how did you get a copy of this PS5 game six years early

Yahzee didn't know the half of it, the guy likely wanted an easy race is you need win like 40 first place race to unlock car modifications. The game encourages people to troll each other.

Most accurate GTA Online summary ever. Thanks

That whole thing about the guy closing invites for the race as soon as you joined wasn't just him wanting to pad his stats and get a higher number. Most of the useful vehicle upgrades unlock based on how many race wins you have, requiring upto 50 wins for the top parts. So people can either spend days doing nothing but races, or they can farm wins off incompetent players racing around the jail.

I remember playing this shit when it came out it was full of bad choices. For one its character creator sucks. I couldn't make my character the way I wanted him to look and most of the skills might have well have been useless. I choose a business skill focused man because its easy to make money but the damn online didn't have economy up so I might as well have just restarted but once again character creator sucks and just got my guy at least a little of what I wanted him to look like after 2 hours of trying. Not to mention I remember being payed very little for my jobs. I worked hard on one mission that required you to steal a giant gas tanker truck and bring it safely. I managed to do it on hard which was so hard I might have gotten a tumor from my frustration and got $19,000. At this point I stopped playing because no amount of reviews calling this game of the year was going to keep me playing this. Did it get better?

GTA online seems to be one of those games that's fun with friends but not so fun by yourself.

Love these videos

@4:39 thank you, I have been saying that for ages.

GTA:O with random's is pretty much only fun if you enjoy nothing but pure chaos. I tend to stick to closed lobbies with friends.

OH GOD YAHTZEE SAID THE N WORD! PREPARE FOR THE WHITE KNIGHTS AND THE TUMBLR ARMY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!1!

The instantly starting a job when 1 person connects could also be the fact that there's some vehicle upgrades that you need a shit load of wins to unlock, also hosting your own server can often take ages which makes the person more likely to just start whenever someone joins so they can get to racing already, and the final reason is that they have a daily mission that is do a ground race - bike but the only thing you can do is quick join a race, which means there's a 3/4 chance that you'll be placed in the wrong bloody race type.

agree 100%. Only thing that you missed(which you wouldn't have known as you have never played GTA Online before) was how little money you get from doing normal missions and how expensive everything else is when compared to launch where missions were actually a good source of income. Now Heists are the only way to make ok money, and even then that is a stretch as it is a pain in the ass to actually get into a game and can usually take 30 minutes to an hour to find people who actually want to play it and not just quit out instantly after the cut scene or some other crap. Even then you have to kill them in a rocket launcher quickdraw when the Heist is done as they will try to kill you in an attempt to get your money as you drop a good chunk of it at that point.

Going to have to agree on this one. After trying out GTA Online for a week, it easily became my least favorite online game. Shame.

I pissed myself from this. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about the cheaters though. Fuckers spawning NPCs at the same location you are to crash your game isn't fun at all.

In this game it helps to have a few friends, you can approach to see if they're the rare friendly player and if not your friends can immediately gun the bastard down.

I was very surprised to see this in my subscription box. Pleasantly surprised of course.

With all the people compalining about the money system in gta online. It makes me laugh that I had the game around a year ago and was graced with a generous hacker