Omg so true hilarious

Not my Name *Futbol. And no, we play that, but it’s Soccer. Football is regularly played with hands. Futbol is played with feet and it’s Soccer in the US.

@@LoriWolfcat you just missed the whole joke, sweetie

@@LoriWolfcat futbol is the spanish spelling its football in britain

True.. the funnier bit is that they never see the irony in the terminology 😂

Even our Queen can trashtalk the Americans

+Mike Alvarez Yeah yeah. Relax

Our First Lady can tackle your queen like a *Football player*

I thought America and Britain had an alliance...?

china young It s America we are talking about no one trusts them

suva bose most torches don’t flash, should be a stay on light

Because torches are things used by Indiana Jones and angry mobs. They're correctly called flashlights, because that's what they were named by the people who invented them.

@@nicchauvin1096 The torch was invented by a Brit. Basically everything was invented by the British.

@@kwlkid85 Basically all of Britains are just salty they're not Americans

@@possibility28able Not in the slightest. I like most Americans but your country's a mess, high corruption, poor health and low workers rights. My dad's American and my mum's English, I had the opportunity to essentially claim American citizenship until I was 18 and I chose not to.

XanBcoo in England we call it a Bin. If Americans can’t understand what a Bin is I’ve lost all hope 😂

@@CaptainCoolzCT- We say 'recycling bin' in America, but I just say 'garbage' or 'garbage can' for trash.

@@CaptainCoolzCT- "bin" in the US can refer to almost anything that can store general items permanently. Like a basket or decorated box you put a bunch of shit in long-term can be a bin, or storage bin.

Too fucking true dude... us commoners in the south got inside trash and outside trash and also burn piles we never really say trash can

A pekker in England is something completely different from American

if it was anymore longer people would have died laughing..

Paulo Victor you're American?

Exactly this is big problem

Paulo Victor facts, they’re way more words he could’ve used. It’s funny how the words r made easy but in the US it’s fucking complicated for them.

Or the Americans would say it's 2 short

Nice ! Gawd bless the ´Yanks´and the good ol´ U.S. of A.

Lol good sport old chap

🤣

matthew banta 😆

Funny I like this

See that makes sense

We say footpath in the UK too. In fact, I think I say footpath more than pavement.

See, "footpath" would be vague in the US as well because you can make a path anywhere you walk with your feet.

@@jwb52z9 🤣

@@jwb52z9 We call a path through a park a footpath too. It is just a matter of context. I don't have a problem with using either sidewalk or footpath but am less inclined to use pavement.

that one gets me too

+apocbible I can not stop laughing. Beef mammal. Classic.

+apocbible no we say, cow meat. also when you say tuna fish your specify the type of fish it is. salmon is very popular in america so is bass . try visiting Japan and saying something stupid like you want fish they will ask you what type you want. This shows how low your intelligence is .

Saul Meyers why do you have to say fish after you say tuna? Why other types of tuna are there. What else would you be asking for if you said bass or salmon. I think your intelligence is so low you have to explain every part.

+apocbible So how do Brits say it? Simply "tuna"? I'm not an American or a Brit, so I haven't got a fucking clue what you people get up to.

Torch is a carry over from a prior means of illumination (a stick and oil soaked cloth). They operate on two totally different mechanisms. They are not the same thing and so deserve different names. If we wanted a proper general name free from the dark caves of ignorance from which we emerged, we would call it something like a photon generator.

+MrLambris there's this thing... called a joke... you should try it some time. You know, once you've escaped the clutches of the "dark caves of ignorance from which we emerged"... I mean seriously. Stop trying to sound like a less friendly version of Wikipedia and learn to laugh (you know, if we can even call it laughing anymore - would you prefer exhalation of air from the lungs via the oesophagus and mouth cavity accompanied by a variation of short sounds resemblant of the single syllable 'ha'?)

+90009kitkat Yeah I totally see what you are saying but the only joke here is " look how stupid Americans are!". The origin of what is being discussed here is interesting and thought provoking if you allow it to be. However, if you take the bit at face value and think no more of it you are cheated out of insight into how languages evolve in different cultures. I'm pointing out that in English culture there was a long cultural precedent for something like a flashlight (torch) and so the precedent subsumed the identification of a device created thousands of years after the invention of a torch. American english having more freedom from linguistic authority (less cultural precedent) was able to evolve quicker and more dynamically and so we have more names for things. ^this is much different then this ---------> "(you know, if we can even call it laughing anymore - would you prefer exhalation of air from the lungs via the oesophagus and mouth cavity accompanied by a variation of short sounds resemblant of the single syllable 'ha'?)" What I'm saying is speculative for sure but it's at least an attempt to be insightful; and so is an attempt to bring value to a discussion that has otherwise devolved into rhetorical nonsense. I concede the joke was mildly entertaining but at the same time it should not be taken as some kind of aphorism. Cheers mate!

Your reply... made me sad. Seriously. Do you get trapped in your head a lot? Also, using lots of big words I have no chance of understanding doesn't make you sound smart. It makes you sound condescending and patronising. But cheers, mate! Cause a little relatable tag at the end changes everything... (not)

By the way, you do realise we're arguing about torches? .-.

Heres a good one parking lot

Or garbage

Or Fanny pack

@Orc Peon someone's offended loool

@Orc Peon says the one who comes from a country that thinks africa is a country and the citizens genuinly think they live in a free country yet they are not free at all

Still not there yet.

Yeah churchill was one to speak

@@garbage-kun9365 He's also the reason you are free.

@@urmum3773 Nice try. I'm indian and 3 million people died because of him because he kept diverting food grains when there was a famine.

@@urmum3773 Churchill was a horrible person but you guys aren't ready for that talk. British people pick on Americans but conveniently forget that they colonised half the world :)

LMAO

no matter what they do... voting for trump is like worse than hitler

Hitler invaded other countries! Hilary Clinton supports invading other countries, I hope you realise how stupid you are!

Jacque Noir hilary =/= trump. read my comment again

+Kaitri I still think your comment was brainless.

Preach 👏🏻

I'm American and found this funny as hell!!

Deffo true 👏

I'm an american, Honestly i dont know what a crumpet is

It's a very thick chewy pancake with a somewhat tough exterior, usually made with little added sugar, cooked in a ring to obtain its thickness.

yeah. in America a pavement is anything that is paved. that could be the sidewalk, or driveway, or street. people do say pavement and point or assume. but we also have sidewalk, driveway, street, etc.

Say sidewalk to a British child and they will imagine someone walking besides someone. Lol (jk)

I guess because the road would usually be made of asphalt, and the ‘sidewalk’ would be paved with paving stones?

Funny enough, the American term "coworker" falls more in-line with the German equivalent of "Mitarbeiter", which literally means someone you work with, as in "With-Worker".

In America, we actually use colleague more often than coworker.

Lol He is just telling it how it is and what all us Brits are thinking to

+Phat Master X to what?

It wasn't... just a wanker being butt hurt

LiNingAir nope, this is bloody amazing

LiNingAir it's a joke? You sound like the "butt hurt" one

Thank you for the tip. As a therapist, I think this will help a lot.

That is a sentence so it's how u end it as well

careful, you start a sentence that way and people will expect you to have actually thought it through. If you are going to present material like this, that clearly hasn't been thought through very well, and is hopefully intended to just be a joke... I think it's better that you say "Now stay with me here, don't take me too seriously because I haven't really thought this through. "

Now bear with me

@@pranamahardika300 there is bare people at the shop. americans wouldnt know what i meant by saying bare in this context lmao.

josephhumbles seems like a strong reaction to me finding a joke funny, but I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion... have a lovely day

Kristen Cowans You have a good one too Kristen, don't feed the trolls. ;)

He is inaccurate but that's part of the joke so no need to be a kiss ass to the Brit community

Kristen Cowans lol

There's no American language lool only English.

I love it!

Andrea Woodvine LOVE that one!! 😂😂

WAIT, YOU GUYS DONT CALL IT FALL???

Nick45044 floobloo Not always. Autumn is w/in our ken too :-))

Nick45044 floobloo Not "Fall leaves". But I get you 😊

***** It's not my only go to... just an example.

***** That's beside the point... we all know the observations brought up from Americans and British towards each other are horrendously inaccurate. They're just finding humour in it.

***** I didn't bring up any more examples because I don't care. But I guess you're on a high horse... the bad teeth stereotype is ridiculous since most have free dental care until they turn 18. There's many that I can't be bothered to explain but I'm not the one complaining about a few jokes.

***** This is the exact reason I didn't want to bring up any more examples. Since you were clearly trying to be clever and attempting to turn my point on its head. I only gave you more because you asked for more. It doesn't mean I care, or am butthurt, or complaining. My point still stands, Americans glean humour from inaccurate stereotypes... British do the same... No one cares... Stop complaining.

Julie Kavanagh it's a fucking joke, don't choke on the joke!

nakaharaindria the British ones aren't true, but the american stereotypes are true

Yeah.... I live in a country that takes itself too seriously. Didn’t think it was this bad though but these comments start implying an attitude telling other countries laughing at us crosses the line. We tell other people/places they can’t make jokes about us. We look like hypocrites trying to police opinions of Americans... Makes me a little lonely being the only sense of humor so far... I would actually love to see a comedian address pointlessness and news comes out of the US and see how someone from the UK is processing all of it. I’ve seen a lot of good stand up with Americans this year, and British comics I am already enjoying don’t have political stuff..... so any recommendations would be great 🤘🏻🤷‍♀️

Finlay Mitchell Of course they are

Look at some of the comments from the British here and realize how wrong you are.

Yes, so true - Yanks take themselves far too seriously!

Trash can

In some older office environments with the typewriters

XD

That's why Superman used to wear his pants over this suit.

SwagDerpBrah lol

Wait you call underwear, pants? But pants are pants lmao!

@@Leiloni No underpants are pants and pants are trousers.

Except not a single thing he said was even true lmfao.

@@jimmygangster ahh, i also love the typical offended American as well.

@@Marnige lmao

lol the real England isn’t like this don’t be fooled ppl aint polite as it looks😭

@@zino1182 i think they have a different meaning of polite over there

And I love how I just watched hours of one direction videos and came here for something else and then they suddenly pop up - not that I complain 😂❤️

@@skggaming4260 Hey calm down, that's a bit too extreme. You are going racist.

@@skggaming4260 someone is mad, and for what

You're American therefore stupid so stop talking you're opinion lacks worth

Lauren Wisteria *your. Ironic isn’t? You calling someone stupid. What’s your problem?

Do Americans even understand 'Irony'?

So you're American go back to your country I guess he didn't deserve to go England

Lauren Wisteria oooooohhhhh roast boi

funnyprincesshb pppb p^ pppppp,l

Self depreciation, the English do it all of the time..no one is off limits, even ww2 soldiers can be subject to it. Check out dad's army for a good example ha

tj o• British humour just does it best. IMO. But Americans can have some good humour.... but it varies

@@TooGood4Gamesv1 of course,i like mash for some American self depreciation ha some times English humour can become very dark or very difficult to understand but it's all good. I say English because it's totally different from the rare Welsh humour or Scottish that's just non existent aside from frankie Boyle of course.

@@tesstickle7267 Even irish has a slight different humour, I really like mrs browns boys or even that new show that's by some kids called the derry girls (would highly recommend mrs browns boys btw, the tv series)

madison rose it ain't

madison rose You are deluded person! Where did you came from?

John St England probably

It is! XD

@madison rose Fuck Up

Just say cinema lmao

Did you not know where to ride it? 😉😂

Anna M Foster did you fall off the tail and go to hospital?

Anna M Foster "this guy" is Michael Mcintyre, Britains no.1 comedian. 👍

And skipping is used to describe skipping. Jump rope refers to skipping or jumping over a rope. Why would that be so funny? You must be really shallow if you think that's funny.

Vrinda Kanchan in Britain we call 'jump rope' skipping as well as regular skipping

@Vrinda .. shallow cuz someone found it funny!! Lord, cant someone tease without having to be politically correct all the time. Bamboo up ur bum?

Then what do you call just regular skipping?

rope jumping

It’s the same language just certain slang with words

Here is the US Southeast we call it a trash can, meaning anything can go in to it - not just paper.

I'm from Texas, and the only expression I've heard is trash can

Me neither, its just trash or recycling

FireEye “recycling bin”

in PA we call it trash can

Were you on the way to play some racket ball?

correction: i broke my glasses while horse-riding down the pavement, so i had to put them in the bin

Lord Jamorgifier you must be fun at parties, let us British laugh at something that isn't ourselves

Why'd you throw them in the waste paper basket? That's clearly for waste paper.

Jam Man, I'm American and I wouldn't say what TomAKAVeto said at all. I'd say that "I broke my glasses while horseback riding down the sidewalk, so I had to throw them away (or throw them in the trash)"

😂

Chesca L yeah, was Autumn not easy enough for them to understand, really??

I'm English and I love the word 'Fall' for Autumn.

But the word "fall" is used for something else... I think Americans change the English language to sound special compared to us lol

@@CaptainCoolzCT- I don't use the the word 'Fall' for Autumn but I just think it sound nice. The word Fall is used for something else but it's the same for 'sea' and 'see' . 'There' and 'their' and so on. ☺

Marie Cooper except "Fall" And "Fall" are spelt the same so "Their" And "There" are distinguishable in a way.

You're Asian

C V you're a fat little poser

This isn't British humor. It's a bit that's been done everywhere. If you read the comments, no one is offended, just confused as to how he got so many of these wrong.

Nukey70 I’m an American & I think your word for pants 👖 are called knickers hahah ! And what the heck are crumpets ? We have tea and cake 🎂 or cookies 🍪... And I notice British say “Fuck me “ which I find odd and amusing .. We call “mates” friends “👭 Mate To us means animals having sex .. And some of your words are so far out there I haven’t a clue what they mean ...

I would enjoy this more if he had actually did his research on this a little better tho.

@@Heartfelt-zv7wh we don't sat knickers its outdated. And when you say British you mean English.

Nukey70 average day banter

Clara Annie but if America slags of everywhere else it's fine, get a life will you

Clara Annie you are lol

And Americans never slag off any other countries do they? learn to take a joke loool

No all us English hate you ;)

This happens to be a free country. In other words, my opinions are just as valid as yours. So, if I want to take offense and tell it to the world, I will! His comedy may be funny to some, but he is perpetuating a stereotype that is harmful to Americans. If he had used the words, "Some Americans" that would have been different.

Yes the video clearly is good-natured; the remarks from Brits in the comments section are not.

Ethan Cox I’m an American and no harm done I gotta kick out of this video ... 😊

@@Page-Hendryx agreed

alexthegrape1000 I think that was Jeremy Clarkson.

Dead men tell no tales 1914 Oh yeah, he was doing an interview with Jeremy wasn't he. Still relevant though!

Don't they abbreviate it from "gasoline" though? (As far as fuel is concerned)

BingtheLizard Yeah they do but Clarkson was mocking the abbreviation as it sounds ludicrous to refer to a liquid as "gas" regardless of the original word :)

Why's it even called gasoline though? It's petrol or diesel. E-breaks a bizarre one as well, it's to stop the car rolling, where's the E come from in that? I suspect it means emergency but it's not for emergencies though

We have a baseball team named the yankees

You do understand that the word 'Yank' is the British version of the N word. It is not a nice compliment or a teasing word said to a little brother. It is meant to hurt, demean, and vilify.

Allie S Not exactly while it was used for a period as a derogatory term it didn't start out that way and it doesn't continue that way.

Allie S uhhhh that's not true Yank is Short for yankee which deprived from the baseball team...

Rhino Thunder *derived The term "yank" as a short form of yankee, existed long before the baseball team.

Probably they got confused to wear it, should be in their ankle or their neck.

We say both, actually

@@GUITARTIME2024 What, you say 'ankle-tie'?

@@AnnabelleJARankin no. We say tie and necktie.

Hope you know I was joking... (Otherwise there is no hope for you, and I will forever imagine there's a Yank called Peaceful who wears a 'neck-tie' around his ankle!)

You say “mate “ We say “friend “ Animals “mate “

@@Heartfelt-zv7wh Don't cry mate

@@Heartfelt-zv7wh fuck off mate -tom hardy

They don't even say tuna, they say toona

@@Heartfelt-zv7wh Animals "breed"

Well with the technology that those morons have it probably took that long for that information to have crossed the ocean. There's a reason 90% of their buildings are a few hundred years old. I'm exaggerating obviously but it wouldn't surprise me.

@@jimmygangster actually the current president of the Us said Waste Paper Basket in the first presidential debate of 2020 so I don't know why you think it's from the 60s you still use it...

@@jimmygangster Most houses are at least 300 years old, older than the USA because we don't demolish our history we preserve it. And we implement much better tech than you, contactless payments and tickets for a start, unlike the NYC subway plus I've never had to sign a receipt because of chip and pin can you say the same?

@@ansaranduin The US hasn't even existed for 300 years

Juan Pepper pretty shallow to be called genius honestly plus waste paper basket and eye glasses are rare if ever heard. Glasses is only used because it can also mean a couple glasses as in the container

Eh

NekoShey thats because anericans think we are the same people from 100 years ago with dodgy teeth and posh or cockney accents

I say it daily

TheTriumphant675 if anything yours is fucked up as we came first Americans had simplify everything like they said in this video

TheTriumphant675 we came first though

Ur more fucked

+charlie walter This isn't British humour; this is a poor comedian trying to be clever and funny and failing at both.

Nahh I'm sorry but this is hilarious ^

+1mmy2000 this is hilarious too ^

+firefly927 It actually is hilarious.

charlie walter that's because americans can't spell humour

Every language has idioms that "don't make sense" if you take them too literally. That's not an American thing. We could play the same game with British English or Irish English or Indian English.

As an American I have never used or known anyone who says "cash money." That might be more of a regional dialect because yes, even within our own country we have different words and descriptors for the same thing depending on what part of the country you live in and we often are at odds even with ourselves over the words that are used to describe certain things.

S.W.W. No it's like saying look at that Tiger animal WE all know a tiger is an animal there's no need for the extra word animal. Think first type second.

+S.W.W. Wouldn't "I was paid with cash" be equally as descriptive and faster? It's not like you can get cash coupons

+usucdik Not only that but I THINK it might just be part of one of Michael's old routine because I felt like I'd heard that joke already and the whole thing seemed drawn out.

+Nadia Ali Michael Mcintyre did a talk show but it bombed, maybe he felt he was trying to tread on his territory and there's resentment from that. Could be talking absolute bollox though so...

Agreed. McIntyre is a total prick

The joke about americans not understanding English is an old joke made years ago and has been used by him many times. Most likely jonathan heard the joke many times before so knew where the joke was going

+Nadia Ali I think he's jealous that Michael is so much more entertaining than him. Jonathan is boring and not funny whatsoever. Not to mention how he constantly makes guests uncomfortable.

Helgacabbage I live in Wales and have probably almost crashed into a sheep several times

Yeah, it's a bit triggered :-)

I’m digging through the comments and I mostly see people point out “triggered Americans” and the hatred for American Football. It’s weird

Same

Aakriti woo!

Gabriele MC so what is it?

Ja, bare vi ikke skal den sædvanlige joke om kartoflen. Den er IKKE sjov længere ...

+jamya williams oh? not just a bin, but a can for your trash? lol jk mate

firebaby7 Lol, yeap. Gotta be specific that it is a can for trash.

It's comedy, he is over exaggerating.

Rachelle Tregear I know it's comedy thanks. And it wasn't really exaggerating, was it? He's saying that's what people say. How can you exaggerate on that?

+jamya williams still though - trash can. That goes with what he says - its like an instruction, calling it a trash can is like saying "this can is for trash". We call it a bin.

McMaple Syrup maybe they delete their comments when they realise (or other people point it out to them) that it's only a joke? ;)

So you're also American as Canada is in North America which makes you American or more specifically North American.

Derek Delboy Trotter nobody refers to themselves as North American lol Canadian = from Canada American = from USA

Yeah I know that it was just a joke

I do not think that was a funny joke..

what you talking abuut

Same, and we'd say we're paving the road, and "pound the pavement" is a typical expression.

It's not ashphalt, it's asphalt! Oh, you didn't write it that way but I heard you pronounce it!

I think this one comes after the fact that these days most pavements are not PAVED anymore. They are made of cracking bricks or something?

@Crazy Canuck do you talk to people face to face like that?

In America they say aluminum instead of aluminium, I prefer saying aluminium. I don't know about illuminum.

Yeah I’m American and y’all pronounce it correctly. It’s five syllables, not four.

It's spelled and pronounced differently in the US because of a mistake made through a series of telegraph messages sent decades ago between some scientists and the change stuck in the US.

I always remember an episode of Wheel of Fortune where Vanna White explained the proper pronunciation of "jewellery" by looking at the American spelling "jewelry". She seemed to think people were wrong when they pronounced it with 4 syllables.

Finlay Mitchell Americans pronounce Aluminium WRONG, not DIFFERENTLY, is what I say!

He is very funny.

1n4r0m5d1.m31 finally someone with a sense of humor!

There has to be better material than this by him - yes? Id rather watch dave Chappell ty

Melanie Mitchell, search up "Micheal McIntyre" (his name) on KZfaq for his other comedy roadshows.

Good fellow! :3

The only ones I have ever said or heard is sidewalk, and horseback riding People just say glasses, and trashcan

Why do you want to be offended at humour?

You say waste paper basket?

@@cajunsphinxgaming1759 Even if you say trash can the same rules still applies

@@cajunsphinxgaming1759 I've heard eyeglasses MANY times.