This movie has some of the best background to it. The director was Chinese and didn’t have the best English, but he told the actors how to say their lines so they turn out really awkward and not right. Everything Lisa has is green because green is meant to symbolize lust. The voice actor got the dog played Shrek in Shrek the Musical but was too embarrassed to put his name in the credits s which is why he isn’t credited in the film. And the actual reason why there’s no music in the movie is because it did originally have a soundtrack, but the director didn’t have enough money to actually pay the composer for the rights to the music for the movie.

the dog dancing and singing while the woman is crying is one of the most tone deaf things ive ever seen in a movie

On a plus note: the woman who plays Jane and the man who plays Prince fell in love on set and are now married with kids.

THE TRIGGER WARNINGS GAVE ME A WHIPLASH LIKE WHY IS THIS DOG ROMCOM SO INTENSE

The date scene with the overbearing grandma clearly had a solid comedic idea behind it, but somehow they executed it in the most awkward, unfunny and disturbing way possible. Almost impressive

"I'm not just gonna start rooting for a horny, homophobic dog for no reason." -Danny Gonzalez 2022

I wonder what kind of dog related trauma the director had for feeling the need to make dogs look so bad

The girl getting assaulted then the dog trying to call dibs, Then cheering while the girl says "why's kyle gay" is the strangest scene since "oh hi mark"

they way he celebrated “rescuing” her by dancing and singing while she was traumatized and crying💀 what the hell is this movie

Fun fact also: the two main actors got married after falling in love on the set for this film but I’m pretty sure I heard they were so embarrassed to be associated with the movie they changed their legal names

I don't understand why Prince didn't work a night shift as a human. Could've solved a lot of problems.

A dog saying "I'm not gay" is some of the most surreal shit I've ever seen in my life

The true horror of this movie is they made a golden retriever unlikable

the way that this movie just kept happening is astounding

“It’s not a beast!” You’re right, it’s bestiality.

I love how he's just like "I used to cheat on all the women I dated before I got turned into a dog. Anyways, wanna marry me?" And she doesn't even ask questions.

This is one of those bad movies where the idea itself was so rancid that even with absolutely flawless execution it still would have sucked ass

“I was cursed for being a cheating playboy” by far the funniest line in the whole movie 💀💀

There's not a lot of ways to seem like a terrible person while you're actively intervening to protect a woman who's being assaulted, and yelling "she's mine" is one of them.

oh my fucking god the scene where she’s crying and he’s blabbering on about “winning” her and it keeps cutting between them is a terrifying commentary on men

There’s so much weird and gross stuff in this movie Danny couldn’t mention them all, like the black best friend stereotype to Lisa who constantly talks about how much she loves going out with guys, and after a time skip she shows up older with a bunch of kids she has trouble keeping track of.

it was hard getting past the attempted assault scene, it's so badly handled, the dog not acknowledging Lisa's crying , and the way Lisa is more concerned on the fact Kyle is gay.

Stephen Kramer Glickman doing this while Big Time Rush was still airing on nickelodeon is fucking wild

It's impressive how they've made one of the most beloved dog breeds into the most unlikable character in the movie

Something is way scarier about a human in a dog’s body saying “back off, she’s mine” and “guess I’m the king of the castle” after fighting off a possible rapist then the rapist himself

Whoever wrote this movie should be on every watch list, registry, and no-fly list.

Thank you RalphTheMovieMaker for helping make this film hit 100% on rotten tomatoes, truly one of the greatest films of all time. More emotional than Titanic.

i think it's funny how the goal was "make her love you and only you" and alvin flang doesn't even do anything to make her like him, he literally just exists while she goes out with men, and then eventually she just decides that dating men sucks and this dog just sucks less by comparison lmao he's like luigi, he won by doing nothing

me and my sister watched this a few years ago for our bad movie night and when we finished it we felt like it fueled carbon monoxide directly into our brains, genuinely one of the worst movies we've ever watched.

Fun fact: the guy who voices the dog(not the human actor but the dog’s voice) was literally paid in cantaloupes by the director to voice act for this movie. He also never met any of the other actors which explains why he acts so different than the guy playing human Alvin Flang.

The use of the soundtrack, or lack thereof, is similar to No Country For Old Men, it makes the audience more alert and adds another layer of realism to the film. Also like No Country For Old Men, this movie perfectly portrays a psychopath with Alvin Flang and his abusive relationship.

STOP BECAUSE I WOULD ACTUALLY KILL FOR A MOVIE ABOUT A BOY WHO WAS RAISED BY NOTHING BUT TECHNOLOGY MEETING A WOMAN WHO TEACHES HIM HUMAN KINDNESS

I don't know what's more tone deaf. The dog dancing and singing after his girl was almost raped or the solution to this "romance" movie being a goddamn suicide followed by decades of crippling loneliness.

Remember, this good boy actor does not have these foul thoughts. He just wants treats.

The "i can't sell you this dress because it's not your size" is wild. What retail worker would remotely care ever.

the writer's barely disguised fetish

It’s still terrifying when Danny doesn’t open a video with greeting Greg. He is really serious

Also, I love when movies just spray paint a young actor's hair grey, silver or white and just goes "okay they're old now" without any other makeup or prosthetics.

TW for overdose and su!cide attempt (and also spoilers): For those of you who might want to watch this, there is a scene that Danny didn’t cover where the girl takes pills to OD and goes to the hospital. She ends up being fine and it happens between the “Why is Kyle gay” scene and the “shebang” scene.

If it's a reincarnation like in Buddhism and the dog killed himself, he will actually drop down so many levels and will never reincarnated into a human

DANNY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. There WAS a soundtrack to this movie, but the woman who made the movie didn't properly pay or credit the composer, so was forced to remove the music from the film after its release. The reason she couldn't compensate him was because all the money for this movie came from a church she told she was making a movie about Jesus, but when they found out what the movie was really about, they demanded their money back and she had to pay the cast and crew in cantaloupes and wonton wrappers. This story sounds so fake but I swear all of it is true. The guy who plays the voice of the dog was on Big Time Rush and has talked about it. 😭 EDIT: A commenter reminded me you can also hear about all of it from How Did This Get Made

There was also a scene where the dog ate photos of 2 men, one of whom was Asian, and said "hmm. One of these guys tastes Japanese-y" I can't believe you would leave that out

2:11 I’m gonna be honest the idea of a movie about a composer who falls in love with the wife of the director who hired him and them running off to Greece together is 1000x more interesting than this movie’s actual plot.

8:34 *confused saluting*

I feel so extra sad for the dog actor. He was completely oblivious to how how dirty they did him in post. He looked so stoked to have gotten the part as the lead dog! 🥺🥺🥺

to be fair, "alvin flang!" "ok maybe something better" "like alvin flang!" is extremely funny

i’m SHOCKED danny didn't mention the absolutely definitely 100% real definitely not a cheap finalcut effect rain throughout the transformation scene, or how the weird old grandmother character looks like the mother of the lead actress

“You can’t really fuck up as a hamster, there are no expectations for a hamster 🐹 “ -Danny

Pete Davison straight up got paid to compose the score for a movie, didn’t add any music, put in a fart sound, and then left. Truly the moment dogs.

Honestly I feel sorry for Kyle. This should've been a movie about these two being friends trying to comfort each other while in a fake marriage, overcoming troubles of being an adult in society that doesn't respect you

Peter Davison only composes music where dogs can only hear.

Hearing a name like Alvin Flang coming out of an adorable Golden Retriever’s mouth is literally the funniest thing and no one can tell me otherwise 💀

The dog singing while she’s literally sobbing after she was almost assaulted is so… ugh I don’t even know how to describe it it’s just horrible

The idea of him reincarnating and still remembering his dog life is so funny to me. Like did he have an epiphany at some point and it all came rushing back? Or was he at his 8th birthday party telling people he needed to grow up and start a dog training business to find his aging adult wife?

10:50 Danny’s face here sums up my thoughts on the entire movie 😂

‘Gets ***king ASSAULTED’ Alvin: “king of the castle!”

I was 100% not expecting THOSE warnings for a movie where a person falls in love with a DOG I'm stunned

7:03 "my name is Alvin Flang" "Maybe something a bit more class" *"LIKE ALVIN FLANG"* okay that genuinely made me laugh😭

The "this isn't cropped this is just how this part looks" at 9:38 gave me a good laugh xD

9:09 Fun Fact: Every president has NOT be a only child, All of them have had siblings!

I love how she was like "I'm done with men, all I need is my dog" and then the dog in question turns into a man. Disappointment of the year

The fact that the girl is wearing green clothes and has an entire green house makes me think there's some sort of symbolism going on here.

14:17 "It goes off the rails" WAIT! JUST *NOW* LMFAO

Danny Gonzalez should honestly make a terrible parody movie and combine all the terrible movies he has reviewed and combine it into one

This movie is definitely a loosely veiled fetish. I can’t tell if this is supposed to be like a wattpad werewolf vibe or the beginning gives me like fat and or fart fetish vibes I have no idea what’s going on but it seems like a very interesting group of individuals wrote this.

I thought the music-free thing would be interesting, but holy shit, it is honestly just disturbing :'D

So you're telling me the plot point for this movie is a man that became a feral dog that literally ends up having to hunt for a zoophile to cure his curse I'm sorry but WTF!! 🤣

Movie... the reason "Beauty and the Beast" even kind of works as a story, is because the Beast is not apparently a literal animal, but an anthropomorphic creature who can talk to/communicate with humans (meaning he can give consent and clearly indicate human-like intelligence). If the Beast acted like an animal and couldn't communicate with Beauty or any other humans, it would be extremely creepy for Beauty to "fall in love" with him. Even back in medieval times when the fairy tale/folk tale was first being told, at a time when consent was really not prioritized, people realized, "we need to make it clear the Beast isn't a literal beast, or else that would be really creepy (and against the Bible)."

Fun fact: This movie has a really high rating on IMDB from people who enjoyed it ironically. That was how I convinced a friend of mine of mine to watch it with me. They thought it was a legitimately acclaimed movie

So this movie is basically Zoophilia (idk if I’m using that word right)

This is probably the most uncomfortable I've been watching something while also laughing the entire time at Danny's jokes

I think the "why is Kyle gay" remark is meant to show he would have been better and not hurt her, which makes the scene is even darker. Her mindset that is if she had been with him this wouldn't have happened. I'm also adding a layer to a movie that would never be able to do it itself

They also both turn young again in the wedding “montage” in the end

Fun fact: the actors for Lisa and Alvin are married in real life, and they married in the same year that this film released. So they probably met and began dating on set 😂

The stories behind the making of this movie are pretty bananas... Google translated scripts, church funding, a rating scam, paying the actors with food, fake acne, and a composer who wrote the lyrics for the dog to sing.

Ah good, he got the sponsorship in. That “modified file” thing was quite ominous.

I've been avoiding this video all this time just because the thumbnail scared me and I knew I'd have regrets

I helped run a bad movie club for two years in college and this movie was in the rotation of movies we would show. The clubs predecessors would show it for Valentine’s Day.

Jesus Christ, that dog obliviously singing to himself while the girl is sobbing after being assaulted (even if that’s not what she’s crying about) is genuinely infuriating. Like, how self centered can you be, especially towards someone who was nearly violated. Though I shouldn’t be surprised, considering the dog only fought the rapist off because “she’s his”, it’s clear that her actual well-being doesn’t matter to him. Also, I get that this whole dumpster-fire is supposed to be a take on “Beauty and the Beast”, but somehow they managed to make the bestiality undertones WORSE than they are in that story. Especially in the scene after they presumably have sex and he’s a dog the next morning. Eeugh…🤢

"Love on a leash" doesn't sound like a dog movie, it sounds like an adult film...

*"SHABAM!"* the dog said very calmly.

15:57 ok that line kinda pissed me off. It’s so mean for no reason, it’s just random words smashed together for an insult and overall I hates this line

Idk how, but when the pond and dog talked, they somehow made the pond sound wet in a gross way. What a feat.

I feel so bad for the poor cute golden retriever that they made into a unlikeable character by voicing over him ☹️

15:59 "pizza faced cinder block" 💀

once we got to the curse line i was struck with disappointment. they didn't make the dog a hound breed for the undeniable Elvis Presley pun...he was nothing but a hound dog!

The strangest part of movies like this is that real people thought of this. They had to write a script(I don't even know if they HAD a script) and they had people publish it. Like who thought...hey! I wanna watch a dog find romance

Every time I thought “holy shit there’s no way this movie could get any worse”, by the time I had finished the thought Danny was already partway into explaining how it gets worse

This movie feels like 3 people were writing different movies but then the studio said: “f*** this we don’t have the money make like 3 movies at once just put ‘em all together and make it work”

Beauty and the beastality

I felt sick when the dog was literally dancing while Lisa cried after being sexually assaulted. Even if she wasn't crying about the assault it was just disgusting. I feel like not a single one of the creators of this shit movie experienced this.

I have no doubt this movie was filmed entirely on someone’s cell phone.

I feel so sorry for the dog. He doesn’t know who he’s playing 😭😭

Literally every hamster I’ve ever heard about has been a terrifying monster

REUPLOAD GANG

The dog singing "king of the castle" over a girl sobbing is going to be stuck in my skull forever. Thanks danny

I feel bad for the dog that played Alvin

Nah dude hamsters are little fuck up machines they kill themselves in the most bizzare ways all the time

Is there such a thing as filmmaking narcolepsy, where someone falls asleep and accidentally makes a terrible fucking movie? That is the only explanation I can come up with as to why this exists.

you know this is gonna be a seriously bad movie review when danny doesn’t say ‘what’s up, greg?’ at the beginning 😍