As a wise man once said,,,, anger is a punishment we give ourselves for someone else's mistake

My career is the furthest thing from this man’s career but I always listen to him because he gives common sense reminders that everyone needs to hear.

Never make a decision when you are not emotionally neutral. Both highs and lows will cause you to make decisions that are not best for you.

The day I learned the difference between reacting and responding is the day I started on a path towards becoming a better person. I’m not yet where I want to be, but thank God I’m not the person I used to be.

I was a very angry young man. Cost me a lot. At 40ish I learned that anger is a foolish emotion. Plus in certain situations being calm always piss's off the person trying to get you all worked up.

Self awareness and control is quite literally the largest separating factor between rotting skeletons found by kids and a person with a story to tell.

I’ve always said “Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.”

A motto I learned to live by at an early age is that "If it won't matter in 5 years, don't let it bother you for more than 5 minutes". It has become second nature at this point and allows me to deal with any situation calm and rationally

My Mother taught me this, “You can’t control what other people do or say, but you can control how you react and respond”. It took me along time to put this into practice and fully appreciate this life changing advice.

When you're angry at someone you give them control of your emotions, your time, our thoughts...why do you want to give someone all of that when you're angry at that person? Realize that and your anger for the most part goes away...

I'm a manager at a retail company and I am going to use what you have said to few of my employees. Thank you for posting this

As I've gotten older I have realized that anger makes you stupid, it's a terrible thing because you're filled with a feeling of regret when you calm down and wish you didn't do what you did. I used to let my emotions get the best of me all the time. I've quit plenty of jobs over it, I've almost ruined my life over it, your content is full of life advice that I'm sure a lot of people could use to help get through whatever is going on in their life. Keep up the good work James.

People are largely a protect of their environment. My father was angry much of the time. As a child I remember both being afraid of him for his reactions and also somewhat in awe as he would raise his voice at people in certain situations and they would seemingly jump to do what he wanted and it seemed like a good way to solve problems. It was not until much later as an adult that I realized how wrong and bad this was. How it affected every relationship and perhaps even interaction I had. Along with just who I was as a person when like mentioned in the video I was just so angry at some stranger in a car, or person on the other end of an annoying phone call. I made a lot of improvements and changes and really grew as a person. I thought I had mostly 'gotten over' anger. Then in my early 30s as a parent of a young child I start seeing those same reactions again. And worse the look on my 3-5 year old daughters face. And the horror at the thought that she may be having the same thoughts I had as a small child. "my dad doesn't love me or want me around". This literally made me weep with shame. I think about it everyday and continue to work on it. Ive also had some funny moments/humbling apologizing to my five year old for reacting poorly to her wrong behavior. But one of the best things I can do as a parent is become a better person in front of my child.

I’m a psychologist and 100% support this video. I’ve actually saved it to share with an older gentleman I’ve been working with. I’ve definitely learned to use my initial reaction to something as a trigger to the response that a rational me would respect. I refuse to let outside things have more control of me than I do.

When I went to church one of the sermons was about anger and in the sermon the preacher said “do not make important decisions when you are angry, hungry or sleepy because you cannot think as clearly” one of the few good pieces of advice from that place.

Thanks for this life lesson; it really hits home. I have struggled with anger all my life, and done many stupid things because of it, but it was most evident when dealing with my children. I never struck them, having been traumatized by that as a child, but would often slam or punch doors, sometimes to the point of serious damage. I distinctly remember one day when my oldest son (whom we later discovered to be high-functioning autistic) had given me "attitude" and I responded by slamming a thick dowel against the stair handrail so that he would know how angry I was. The sound echoed through the house and my wife came running to see what was the matter, which was bad enough -- but the look on my son's face totally shook me. He was terrified ... of me. In the same way I had been terrified of my father. And from that day, I swore never to approach my children when angry. I took great pains after that to allow a cooling-down period before confronting them with whatever they had done, sometimes to the point of leaving the house and taking a drive; and always, always, always approaching them with a calm, loving voice so that they would know I'm in control of my emotions (mostly). This has worked wonderfully. Now that they are all adults, we have a wonderful relationship and I feel extremely grateful that they hold no resentment against me.

Another great "James' Life Lessons 101" video. Anger has been my albatross all my life. I learned it from my father and was in my mid 30s before I started to learn how to control my anger. It's been 20 years, I'm much more effective at reacting in a rational and mature manner, but I'm still working on it. I've busted my hand twice, punching steel doors (guess I'm a slow learner), have quit multiple jobs on the spot, got fired from 1 job for it. That last one is what really put me on my anger recovery path. I have found that my anger is connected to narcissism, it was addictive, made me physically sick and was as destructive as the drugs I used to use. Thank you James for your teaching and mentoring. I could have used this video 25 or 30 years ago, but I was so dumb back then I probably wouldn't have listened.

The only really stupid thing Ive done that makes me angry is when I forget Ive turned the volume up to 90% on my speakers after I've watched a James Butler video.

Have I made bad decisions because I was angry/upset? Yes Have I learned to control my emotions to make better decisions? No Instead I wait until I calm down before I decide how to handle a situation. It took me many years to figure this out. I might be a little slow but at least I'm making progress.

Anger makes people react without think things through, learning to manage it comes through maturity and experience.

As a husband, father, and small business owner myself, I’ve made plenty of stupid mistakes. From simple ones like not buying a house in San Jose, California back in 1989 when I got recruited by a small tech company and moved there, to super-colossal ones like purposely ignoring or mistrusting my wife’s wisdom and advice which cost our family millions in lost opportunities. (It’s possible to be both brilliant and stupid at the same time! Intelligence and wisdom are not the same not opposites, they are perpendicular axes of each other.) But I’ve always had self-control, and as a neuro-atypical nerd, even in third grade I was both praised for it by teachers and bullied for it by peers. As a gruff, straight-shooting (much like yourself) long-time customer used to frequently observe. “You just can’t fix ‘stupid’!”

If you can stay calm while the other guy is loosing it, you're halfway to convincing anyone looking you've got super powers.

Yes, I have made stupid decisions while angry. The worst was pushing a table at my then 6 year old daughter. The look of fear on her face said it all. That's when I really started to dig into emotional intelligence. I've came a long way since then.

Years ago i s working in a pizza joint, and this guy came to work with us. Bit of a flower child, he was, but one night we were mopping up and talking, and he gave me the same advice that you did at the end of this video. Literally word for word the same quote, " Noone else can make you angry, only you can allow yourself to become angry." Changed my life. I hope your message reaches people and changes theirs as well, because it's an amazingly effective message.

#1: Everybody makes stupid decisions when angry. I was extremely angry at my ex when I caught him driving around with his mistress, instead of taking care of his dying father. I acted on that anger and instead of going home and packing my bags, I proceeded to punch the door mirror of his truck 4 times. Resulting in 3 fingers badly cut and needing stitches. #2: I have learned to take a step back and wait and give some time to think and be alone, reflecting on the emotional situation, then taking it head on in a more logical way resulting in conversation or just informing my decision rather than acting straight from emotions alone. With taking that step back, I learned to think ahead and patience in life brings about less drama and fewer problems further down the road.

I continue to struggle to not act like a gorilla that got punched in the face... I take pride in my work, and the companies that I work for.... so when I see others making, what I feel are, stupid decisions, or not doing the right thing it bothers me. Thank you for this video. It really hit home for me, and it is something that I wish someone would have told me years ago.

Man, I manage healthcare but your vids like this apply. The hardest thing is staying calm with irrationally angry employees. They are supposed to be people you can trust and count on. Spot on bro

Holy shit, thank you James. I have always struggled with anger management, and this resonated with me. I'm going to do my best to remember this as long as I live. Thank you.

The Stoic philosophers of the ancient times would say “Anger is brief insanity.” Same idea. One of the great parts of this channel is James’ ability to bring those Stoic ideas and lessons to today’s audience.

If only more businesses had owners like yourself and or hired more wise supervisors like you. The work place would be such a better place. Keep it up !🇺🇸

My son struggles with anger and has been told by a doctor that he has ODD but we have been working with him to control his anger. I am saving this video for when he is old enough to work. Thank you.

Yes to being an impulsive self centered youth. 27 years old I had my first child and my brain did a weird thing. It somehow evolved overnight. 18 years later...Really enjoy your content and I think that it would be nice to work for a driven, logically thinking man like yourself. ✌from Alberta 🇨🇦.

This one hit close to home. I'm 40 years old. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was a teenager. I always had an anger issue growing up. But because of the bipolar, it isn't just anger. One of my symptoms is rage. And many, many times, it was a blackout rage. I usually remember what triggered it, but once it passed a certain point, memory stopped storing info. The wheel was turning but the hamster ran away. I would break things, punch and throw things, cuss and yell and in the end, I would have zero memory of any of it other than the beginning, and sometimes even that was fuzzy. Now this rage still exists within me, but at 40 years old, I've had lots of time to learn what might trigger it, I'm much more aware when it's ugly head is peaking, and I'm able to subdue it. 100% of the time it requires me to initially step away from whatever situation is making it happen. Once I have a grip, I have to decide if it's a situation I need closure for or something I need to complete, or if I can just move on with my life and forget about it. 95% of the time it's a non issue. The old saying, "sometimes you have to choose your battles" is relevant here. Did I really just get that mad because someone disagreed with me, or because they called me a liar despite my physical, visual proof of truth? This example comes from a recent incident, and those are the specific thoughts I had to process at the time. Sometimes we have to fight to gain and/or maintain control of our reactions. But we do have the capability programed into our DNA. Some of us have to work harder than others, but it can be done. I went through 2 anger management classes about 25ish years ago (not 2 sessions- 2 classes, one was a 10 week session once a week, the other was 6 weekly sessions). That wasn't enough. I have also been to multiple therapists over the years, been on and off meds for the bipolar, even had to learn, as an adult and through therapy, the difference between assertive and aggressive. To me they feel identical. Obviously passive aggressive is it's own thing. But what I should have learned growing up, I did not learn. And it caused me a lot of problems for many several years.

Anger definitely makes you stupid and stress is usually what puts you on the edge of anger so start look at what's stressing you out and work on that. I had a rough last 6 months and the stress was effecting everything else it made me more mad when people cut me off in traffic and more snappy at the end of the day when I started getting worn out. I'm working on it but life is hard and learning how to tune out automatic thoughts while I drive has really helped me out! Find a music or book or a local talk show you can get into on your drive to work it will surprise you how much it can make your day better if you can stop your brain from making you mad on your commute to work 😊hope everyone is doing well out there this was a great video bud!

What I’ve learned more than anything, when I’m really angry is to do nothing. Better to wait until I’ve had time to cool down, than say what I will say and mean when I’m angry.

Well said! The moral of the story is spot on. I've reacted to frustration and regretted it. When I get angry now, I try to think about why whatever is making me angry, does. I often walk away until I calm down. Works better and does not do damage.

As an old retired working dog i must say there is a lot you young bucks can learn from this guy. My last job of loading over the road trucks with quarry products really was a test of my temper. I enjoy his posts.

I have a similar conversation with students a couple of times a year…I use the premise that all people experience a myriad of emotions, but as humans we get to choose how we react to how we feel. Great video…a good lesson to learn and hopefully learn earlier rather than later!

One thing I really value about the counseling I received for my depression and anxiety is that it gave me tools to reflect, rather than just react. It's the difference between a life of learning and a life of pain.

I definitely am better at controlling my emotions then when I was younger, but every once in awhile it gets close to the edge. Something I'll probably always work on. I have learned to identify situations ahead of time that seem likely to fire me up and when possible I'll take steps to avoid/minimize a negative outcome. Your videos like this are gold for counseling. While working with a professional counselor is the right choice when it's needed, watching your videos can teach someone a lot.

Been trying to get my boys to understand this concept for years, hope they get it as they get older. Controlling ones emotions especially for the male population is so very important.

This is actually something I learned when I was in my 20s. You can control one thing in this life and that is how you react to things, both physically and emotionally. There is a quote that I live my life by. He who takes offense where no offense is intended is a fool, he who takes offense where offense is intended is a grater fool. I had some anger issues through my adolescent years but sense taking accountability for my emotions and reactions have almost never become angry since. It has made dealing with life's curve balls so much easier.

I would word that summary slightly differently, and more encompassingly. "Do not make decisions when you are emotionally compromised/feeling strongly" anger isnt the only one that can throw ur brain outta whack

There is one interesting aspect. Once you learn to control your anger enough, using anger as a threat becomes a bit less effective because you are unable to get angry very quickly, and instead need some time to convincing yourself to get angry. Its quite interesting because you can feel anger so much more clearly as you contiously feel it slowly overtake you. And same if you watch it with someone else, their face very slowly turns to rage. It's quite interesting.

Yes anger has made me stupid an indescribable amount of instances. One previously ongoing behavior, now since corrected, is getting into bar fights. I had a woman who helped on the road to curtailing my anger and learning how to not be so dumb by getting angry over things I cannot control. Great video.

Wow james what a great video. I love the perspective and advice you imparted. I myself am one of those short fuse kind of people that gets annoyed/angry easily but your comment of "people dont make you angry, you allow yourself to become angry" hits deep. Definitely thinking im done with that old way and starting anew today. Thanks for the video!

Very good advice. My father was a big man and his strategy was to physically intimidate people and was quick to anger. Naturally, I learned this as a life strategy but soon noticed, it usually had the opposite effect. It has taken me a life time to relearn that kindness works way better. Anger feels good and is addictive. When you are angry, you are very easy to manipulate. It works so well that one of our political parties uses it to fire up their base. Then it can manipulate them into believing anything and allow them to cling to power while only being negative and never really offering solutions. If you control your anger, you can usually win by being smarter. I wish I learned this as a young man.

As a teacher I have had that discussion many times, so sad people still need it as adults.😢

This channel is fantastic! Nailed it, I've made some poor choices when I was angry. Anger is like quicksand, the more you squirm and fight, the deeper it sucks you in. I find myself taking a lot of walks like you suggested. It helps. To those out there like me still working on this: it's really hard. Don't give up, you won't always see the results right away. I still screw up but it's okay, Rome wasn't built in a day. I keep at it.

I've definitely been stupid and quit out of anger before. I also gave myself time to process what was happening at a job and still came to the conclusion that leaving the job was the best choice for me. The one that scared my friend and the manager at a job most was when I got extremely angry after dealing with a couple shitty people and nobody doing anything about my concerns. I just finished the last couple hours of my shift, clocked, and notified the shitty manager by just saying "I quit" nice and calmly before leaving. The next day they wanted to talk to me and based off the over a month of interactions with this shitty manager I assumed he was trying to get one last chance to belittle me and tell me off, so I refused to meet with the management team. They hadn't done anything to this point to remedy anything and matters had been getting worse by the day. I decided it was time I completely shut them out of my life. I'm at a different job now and much happier. Definitely was the right choice, not necessarily done in the right way though.

Poor guy. He's his worst enemy. Even when he understood the lesson, he still couldn't implement it.

Nail on the head with that one. Told a new guy something similar a few years ago when some BS happened that needlessly increased the difficulty of the work being done. "I'm never angry, annoyed at most. Anger is a useless emotion that clouds your judgment. " At first, the guy was flabbergasted by the concept, but he took it to heart, and has be much happier since.

Man, you sure you ain't a shrink? Cause this is spot on. I hope this friend sees this. Quiting from James is lethal.

Yes a couple times i was 18 and lived in the woods for about 6 months cuz i was pissed at my parents. Yes cancer made me realize how dumb anger makes you and at 32 i have gained control over it.

Anger *does* make us stupid. #Facts!

My dad had the same conversation with me but it went a little differently. He said "son, you can't lose your temper. It feels good to lose you temper, lash out, smash things and blow off steam but nothing good will ever come of it. People will lose respect for you, you will do stupid things and you will hurt people that love you." Later in life I learned that his dad, my grandfather, who I loved very much had a nasty temper. My dad bore the brunt of his rage and he swore he would never do that to his kids. I saw my dad really visibly angry twice in his long life. He was so furious that he used the word "hell" and my sister and I were in shock at his display of anger.

I have made a couple of mistakes in my life. I don’t necessarily feel like coming into detail about them here but over my life I have most definitely learn to control my anger and I control my reaction to things being that I’m visually impaired. I cannot make rash decisions otherwise myself or someone around we could get hurt it has happened and I have learned from it.

Yes I've reacted badly, many times. Finally learnt in early 30's - slow learner on that one but I thank the universe sending me my youngest because her having autism mafe me completely re-evaluate everything about myself. I know now that I would never trade my serene pillow time for anyone unless it's very close family friend 💜

James, you just told me what I had to learn some 40 years ago. I started adulthood as that angry guy. Then a guy I as working with pointed out to me over our lunch break what was happening to me. He explained it in much the same terms. Now I respected this guy so I immediately started thinking about what he said. How when I got upset/angry it usurped my basic reasoning skills and dumbed me down. No matter how I looked at it or tried to make excuses for it, it always came back to my anger controlling me. I thanked him the next day and began to change my life. No more going off halfcocked, and making my life even more stressful and difficult. Oh it took me a few months to make some of the major changes but I did it. I thank Tony quite often to this day for the kind words to a young kid as he made my life so much better and me more capable of dealing with stress on a day to day basis. Oh occasionally there will still be something that gets me worked up but more often than not it is because I did something stupid. Now days though when faced with perturbing things I will shut down responses for a few moments and figure out that first it is just not worth getting upset over and divert myself into a more reasonable response. To people like you and my friend Tony I offer the thanks of the stupid angry person I was and the reasonable person I have become.

YES, over the years I have learned to control myself and My reactions. That's the Only thing any of us Can control - How we react. Control your emotions, don't let them control You. We all get angry and all make stupid mistakes when we are mad. I have done my share like everyone else on the planet. Some mistakes I didn't even need anger as a catalyst- Nope I did that shit all on my own! Lol 😂

First- thanks for all the videos super motivational for being a positive leader and hearing what you have to deal with. Also small story about my life I'm 42 have dealt with making poor decisions from 16 until 25 then i went to prison for selling weed figured out there was more to life got out at 28 and changed completely...the prison handed me 100$ check let me go and and that day after I knew I needed more...now fast forward I'm 42 been married for 11 years have a beautiful daughter that's 9 and now the kitchen manager for a mom and pops restaurant in Hot Springs AR. Things are a lot easier to understand when you slow down and make rational decisions. Don't let anger build you it will make you clouded with irrational thoughts. Thank you. Have a good day.😎👍

Clear, simple, logical advice for any employee or manager for that matter. Common sense always prevails.

James, you consistently exhibit life wisdom, good decisions, and clear communication. You also tell great stories 🤣.

In the words of Dr Sam Beckett....ooooooh boy. I've had some doozies. I am currently half gorilla/half reasonable man. I have been trying to control my anger for years, with little success until I found your channel. You have great advice that has really helped me. So thank you for the amazing content. It has helped this recovering rage junkie more than I care to admit. You da man.

Thank you for making videos like this one. You seem like a rockstar leader for your company.

Good mornin y'all! I've definitely made some stupid decisions and thankfully have learned to better handle my reaction. I used to be very reactionary, once something happened I needed to react to it immediately. After a while I learned this was not good and was ultimately causing a lot of stress to myself and I gathered an 'it is what it is' approach. I dont get mad at traffic, I dont get mad at things I cannot actively resolve myself. I also try to look at the positive side of things now; everything has two sides. While traffic may be frustrating and I'm running late, I also get to be in a vehicle with AC and listening to music longer than normal. I used to get heavily invested in online conversations when someone else was wrong. I would constantly be on reddit or youtube in the comments having heated 'discussions' about topics and now I have happily gotten to the point that I ask myself, do I actually want a reply? If not, I remove whatever I wrote and just don't bother. There are times I do, but I'd say my comment ratio has dropped ~90% from what it was a year ago. As I'm getting older I'm realizing there are battles just not worth fighting. Why cry over spilled milk, just pour yourself a new glass and continue on.

This is a really good video and should be mandatory viewing for High School kids. I usually didn't make major mistakes because of anger. My biggest mistake was centered in a completely different part of my body. Namely, my first marriage... I learned my lesson long ago and no longer make stupid errors because of anger, but I cannot guarantee I won't make stupid errors because of other emotions.

As a child with ADHD, i had a very hard time controlling my temper. i was actually considered a special ed student even though i was high functioning and highly intelligent.. i made so many bad decisions in elementary and middle school. i was nicknamed the ISS King. i spent alot of time in solitude in the over 300+ days i spent in In School Suspension in middle school. but it gave me alot of time to think. in high school i determined to myself that i would never again get in trouble at school again. I also learned to box. and it was in boxing that i really learned to control my anger. i dont let anything bother me anymore that i cant control and i never lose control of my anger anymore. im in my mid 30's now. Anger truly does make you stupid. and in a fight or life stupid decisions can have painful repercussions. My anger is the reason i was put in Special ed. although i did meet a wonderful teacher there that taught me things that the students in the grade above were learning cause she recognized my intelligence. i went to her retirement party when i was a senior in high school even though id moved away great woman. Thank you to all the Special ed teachers out there.

I have more regrets than i care to say but being a former alcoholic will do that getting sober was the hardest thing ive ever done now im just trying to put my life back together and i learned to just accept things no matter how much it hurts because there's nothing else you can do..

Sounds like he never learned to process his emotions. Secondly when people hear something that challenges their identity or core beliefs, it doesn't even register in their conscious mind - it triggers the amygdala with a fight or flight response. I've learned to discipline myself to sit and listen when I'm triggered like this because I understand this is a time to learn and 99% of people will react and not be able to control themselves in these situations It's not binary of course - for some people they can control their emotions on one level but not at another, so it's definitely a skill one can learn.

I think of the parable of the two drivers in the same traffic jam. One is incensed and totally pissed off. The other is calm and listens to the radio. Same traffic jam. If I could MAKE someone do anything, it wouldn't be to make them mad. Thanks James.

Being calm when someone is getting in my face is my superpower. For some reason when some one else is angry the calmer you are the angrier they get.

I learned to control my rage at a fairly young age at about 15, and fortunately, before that all of my rage was directed primarily towards all of the bullies in my high school, and I don't really regret what I did to them in return for what they did to myself and my friends

Man, I'm gonna be 30 in less than 20 days... And you taught me more in your videos than my own father in a lifetime. Watching your videos for only couple of weeks ... So yeah ... Learning more from a stranger across the ocean in a different continent than from my own father😢 Wish I could work for you, but I already know I'm not cut(at least how I am now) to do that. Planning to learn how to be an electrician and in couple years time maybe I'll get work visa in US. That's my dream at the moment. That, or be a lorry (semi) driver. Thanks for your videos

my big brother always said if you argue with an idiot there is to idiots arguing and going no where

My career is so far removed from septic work, but without a doubt every time I see a video posted by James, I know ita going to be something thats either going to impart valuable information, put a smile on my dial, or both. Thank you for sharing these things with us. I really enjoy and appreciate your content.

1: Ofc we have all made bad decisions when angry. 2: I have learned to walk away and cool off. Specially before when as a manager i used to get in arguments with the boss. We learned to walk away and then have breakfast and talk the day after. Everything whent so much better after that.

Good Afternoon Mr. Butler. I appreciate these messages going out to younger men and women that may not have learned these lessons growing up. At 47 I have .. potentially.. figured out how to manage my reaction to incoming stimulus. Good or bad, the only thing we can control is how we react. My Father taught t to me this way. "Son, never allow anyone or anything t o have power over you." and in any disagreement "Son, the first one that loses their composure loses everything". I didn't listen... To answer your questions: Yes. I have been a raging gorilla that got punched in the face most of my 20's and 30's but at 22 years old I was bulletproof ... I was working as a Private Investigator and I was travelling to a case. There was a road rage moment because I couldn't drive 20 mph over the speed limit due to traffic and some winter weather.. the moment I could I Jammed the gas pedal down and took off.. flipping off the other drivers I passed that had kept me moving so slow... and more importantly, not looking at the road surface. I immediately hit black ice at 90mph and my work van started to spin.. I didn't bother to wear a seatbelt of course.. so I was thrown from the drivers seat but I held onto the steering wheel. This resulted in my legs and torso twisting in opposite directions breaking my back in the process. I wish I could say that was the lesson needed to learn and I have been good since. But I cant. It took many more such moments and then specifically raising children to see how my reaction, my anger or hurt could literally change the course of my life if I was not able to control myself. Here is to hoping that your message saved at least one person a terrible lesson to learn the hard way.

I have never heard it put so well. I've struggled with anger the last few years or so as my marriage at the time was extremely rocky, and now that it has ended, my ex has seemingly made life very difficult for me. My father, who has been a city cop for over two decades gave me very similar advice. He told me, "no matter how angry you are, whether that anger is validated or not, you cannot let it control you." He proceeded to give me examples of the people he deals with every day and the consequences they face from their actions when they act out like the animals you described. He went on further to mention, as did you, that it is very natural to feel that anger, especially when you are in a negative environment or have many negative influences around you. But, at the same time you have to learn to have discipline and self control. I hold my father in very high regard, and hearing you repeat the same wisdom, just in slightly different words shows me the kind of man you are. Thank you for your content. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with the world. I hope one day to teach my son, both by word and example, to be a strong, wise, and well-disciplined man like you and my father. Thank you, James.

I quit a job because I was angry that an employee that I trained was promoted ahead of me. What I found out later was that I was going to be promoted to a much better job than the guy I trained. The company was just going through the process of getting rid of the person they wanted me to replace. Confidentiality prohibited my leaders from telling me the situation. If I had not gotten angry and quit, I would have been much better off in the long run.

I lived it.. My Anger is my issue.. I've had to learn to meditate, & go sing in a dark room. Watch Kat & Kitten therapy.. Kats & Kittens Slay my angry

anger doesnt make you stupid, you were already stupid. Acting in anger just shines a spotlight on it.

I’m 70 years old, and that’s the best advice I’ve heard. Thanks Steve.

My uncle used to tell me that there is no future in anger. He used to be special forces on the DMZ in Korea, so I listened. That advice has served me really well.

I can even suggest to have someone not emotionally invested to validate your decisions like checking a car or a property you are interested in

As a 23 year old, I had the exact same reaction to traffic and the exact same conversation with my district manager, who happened to be visiting the office that morning. The difference was, I listened to him! This happened back in 1990. I realized that not letting things you have no control over, control you, tends to make for a better day. There’s enough stuff happening in life to contribute to your stress level. Why add needlessly to it? I also learned that responding to angry, loud, emotional people in a calm, quiet, non-emotional manner ultimately gave me the upper hand and invariably led to good outcomes from my perspective.

Listening to ur wisdom ( which was very similar to my dads,, thank u helped pull me back from a massive depression that peaked after he passed away) I am now 53, I was the first female wrestler in school, (my Dad was a feared wrestler in school). First lesson..... the minute u get mad, u loose. Took me awhile to learn that one!!! It's true... the most frustrating example I have is... my business partner, Narcissist to the core, I have not been able to do that YET in the past 8 yrs. Frustrates me I allow it, even worse contribute to the 2-5 day reiterating blame game that has now instrued. Months later do it all over again about the same... I know insanity. Thank you for posting ur common sense, it has really contributed to my willingness to try to be happy and content again...

I don't know when James will have the time to read all the replies but this video is his best one yet. There's a lot of wisdom is all his videos but this one addresses a fundamental issue, maybe the fundamental issue that we each face as human beings. Zen monks study their reactions to their own anger. Like everyone, I've done stupid things when I've been angry. I was probably about 12 years old and I was angry, I lifted one end of my bed and slammed it down. It broke some of the tabs on the brass casting that held the sides in place. When my father found out, he responded rationally, not in anger like many parents. My "punishment" was that I had to repair the damage. He did most of the work but I had to walk into a shop with the broken pieces and ask them to cast duplicates of the unbroken pieces. That was probably the first time I was aware of my anger. I think I was around 40 when I really got a handle on it.

You did it right James. Attitude is half of the company. You represent everybody in the company when you show up. You either make everybody look worse, you make everybody look better, or you make yourself look worse. Be the face of what looks good for everyone.... And keep your job and go home happy.

I learned this very young and taught my children very early that anger and tantrums never work. I remember my 6 year old daughter watching a temper tantrum in the store by a young boy, she looked at me a said “thank you dad for not letting me be like that.”

This video has explained the theory that I have lived my life to, I've never heard such perfect words to describe what I have practiced all my life. thank you, I will be spreading this as far as I can. Mr. Butler, you truly have proven time and again to be outstanding.

1: went because it was where my idol went for college, but had a trauma experience that triggered BP2 I didn’t know I had. 2: BP2 requires lots of medication, and I’m still struggling with anger.

This is absolute truth. Ever been so angry that you start to stutter?

" James, I will be there in Twenty Minutes" Now that is the attitude I would like to see in an employee.

#1. Yes Several times #2. Yes, I’ve learned the hard way enough times to try more to control my emotions and not make decisions when I’m mad or irritated.

I had to learn to focus my anger way back in my younger days playing sports.. Great advice. I hope that, at least, most of your viewers hear and understand your messages

Though it may seem basic, the advice that has been the biggest game changer for me when controlling behavior/anger, was: think before you talk/act

i’m a little older than you and learned these lessons long ago yet STILL need reminders every now and again. yes, i have DEFINITELY made stupid decisions even when i wasn’t angry. But super stupid ones when i was angry. i was working on a front wheel drive V6 once replacing the spark plugs. you have to take the dog bone struts off of the front of the engine to rock it forward to get to the plugs on the back. i was using a pry-bar on one of the dog-bone brackets to do that. it kept slipping out of place. needless to say that it was aggravating and i got madder and madder. finally i positioned myself just right, got the pry-bar in place, had someone at the ready to block the wheel, then i pulled on the pry-bar with all the force that i could muster. lo and behold it slipped out of place and i ever so gracefully brought the but of the handle full force into my left eye. then i walked around with a black eye that i gave myself because a car and pry-bar was smarter than mad me. there’s a reason that mad means both crazy and stupid angry.

As a chronic depressive, I wholeheartedly agree. When I'm really down, I'm not in my right mind. Fortunately, I've learned ways to get back into it.

James thank you I always enjoy your videos I'm an old man I don't get angry anymore a long time ago I realized what you said about anger and being stupid and I regret the people I hurt because of my stupidity just something I will always have to live with just wish I could have been a better person then. Maturity didn't come fast enough