To everyone who is angry right now - remember this: No matter how bad things get, and no matter how much you're suffering: "This too, shall pass." Everything changes. Absolutely everything.

I am currently in the final segment of a breakup with my Fiance. She left me. My anger had pushed her away, I lost control. I gave it away. I've been studying several of your videos the last few days, thank you for what you do. The advice through heartbreak is hard to take and to listen to but already some of the techniques you have taught me have already made a small impact on my life. I may never get her back, but maybe one day with enough practice I will be in control of myself. Thank you.

A lot of times we don't want to "bother anyone" with our problems - until we realize that we are bothering them with our actions anyway. When I am faced with bothering someone with my actions or bothering a friend by asking for support, I tend to pick asking my friend. More often than not, friends are not actually bothered by us turning to them anyway. If you can, try to seek out a friend or counselor to turn to, even if it's difficult, because none of us needs to face things alone. Much peace

I am in tears because I know I have given so much of my power away to people who just don't deserve it

This is so far the most effective technique I saw on youtube. Other vids are crap. This man just hits me right in the feels.

When I’m angry , I usually don’t think. I just act, I punched a gaping hole in my wall because of this

Eleven years later and still helping people. My own lack of control got me into this puppet situation where my boss is actively trying to get complaints from my coworkers in order to have reasons to fire me (several of them warned me). Now, without these videos, I would've been offended and resentful toward my boss, but it looks like it has been me the one who lend her the power over my person, so I'm the one to blame. I formerly thought of my temperament as a sign of strength, now I realize it has always been a sign of weakness. Thank you for your wisdom

This video helped me a lot today. I was in a situation I couldn't leave and the person would not stop poking and prodding. Instead of the situation devolving into me yelling and/or crying, I cut the puppet strings and was able to maintain my composure, and the other person was left to be angry to themselves. I did cry when I was alone and ruminated too much afterwards, but that's something I feel like I can keep working on now that I have a base to work from.

I was a angry person I felt alone and robbed of communication with others I spent years of my life ploting and pushing away people that got in the way of my anger and what upset me or who upset me I put my enemy's that I made from my own poor choices over the people I care about...Loosing friendships along the way I was so disconnected to human interaction and emotional Attachment that all i felt was rage All I had was anger it consumed me I didn't cry for 4 years only shout and break things Once I reached that point I was getting a rush...a high from becoming angry It even changed me sexually I injoyed watching people suffer because of how terrible I felt for years In school I would constantly get in to fights and was always the one who started it I hurt my mother, my brother and myself through all of it But after all of that and realizing who I was i knew I needed to change I started smoking weed Exercising And in general I tried to nature things more And most importantly never shoving my empathy down for anything I feel a lot more now I've worked on myself Don't do the same thing I did Open your heart to love over hate, Hate will solve nothing it only consumes Revenge,anger, and hate will only leave you robbed of hope Robbed of humanity And ultimately turn you in to a monster After not feeling guilty for so long and then waking up to what monster I let manifest I would truly never wish apon any living thing in the mlutiverse I hope someone like me can read this and know what path rage leads you to

Brilliant and im a teen who got has a bad bad bad temper now this really helped me

I agree: we have the power to determine how we feel - even though it can be difficult, the fact is, it's possible. Thank you for your comments.

This is awesome! it made me realize how I was giving away that power everyday and that it is myself the one who needs to be in control. We often blame the other person but it is up to us to take control.

I think the way I see it is that there is a difference between understanding and practicing. Most people seem to understand (in theory) how to handle anger, but actually living that out can be tough. I wish you much peace.

I just came to this realization, and it's great to hear it affirmed. I'm just tired of giving people control over me. Period.

This is great advice. The way you present/word the info in the video, has inspired me to control my anger simply out of spite for others 😂 I can’t believe I have been giving up my power all these years.

We shared this video at our Celebrate Recovery meeting when someone was sharing on their anger issues and everyone thought it was very helpful. It can be used to relate to giving your power to other things too. Thanks for this insight!

i can't thank you enough for this. it's been a daily struggle lately for me.

Thank you for your kind comments. Kate is awesome and I would love to hear from her and how she's doing. Congratulations on your engagement! She can contact me through my website. I wish you two all the best!

Excellent analogy of the puppet and the book to manage your anger, Dr. Conte. While it seems very simple, I am sure practicing it will have its own challenges. I will do my best to visualize the puppet and the book every time I become angry and say things that I wish I had not said. BTW, I also watched several other videos of yours last night. Appreciate posting them all on KZfaq. Thanks a bunch.

Thank you for positively changing my life. Your puppet/IronMan technique of not giving away your power literally saved me from committing crimes like assault and battery which would have landed me in prison...possibly for life. I don't have a felony record and never want one. I genuinely can't thank you enough.

Thank you, I really need this info right now before I do something I will regret...

Thank you so much to all of you who have reached out to say that this video has been helpful for you. Starting Wednesday, March 16th at 9/8c (2016), you can see me on Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn on VH1. I wish you all much peace.

Yes Yes Yes! Thank you for posting on KZfaq! Dr. Conte you are greatly missed! Your techniques are practical and have definitely made a difference in my counseling style.

This video is fantastic. Thank you for taking the time to put it out there for all of us!

You're welcome. I hope it helps. Thanks for taking time to comment.

Dr. Christian Conte has a passion that inspires and reaches his audience on a profound level. His unique teaching style and genuine respect for every individual makes his talks exciting, and life changing. In the graduate coursework I was fortunate enough to have with Dr. Conte, I grew as a student, as a professional, and as a person in ways I never imagined possible. His words have stayed with me as I continue using the knowledge, skills, and techniques he shared. And yeah,more videos please!

Dr. Conte, thank you so much for this video--keep them coming! I was so fortunate to have taken a few courses with Dr. Conte and have learned hands on techniques and theory from someone who has been able to help so many people deal with their personal issues. I highly recommend his book to anyone in the mental health field. His book is full of tangible and creative counseling techniques that really work.

Just got into a fight with my mom before this lol, but this vid really could help me with my anger issues.. See, its runs in my family haha, but I'm realising that I don't want to live that way.. So thanks a lot Dr Conte, I'll try to put ur techniques into use, the whole puppet analogy just opened up my whole mind

Thank you for taking time of your life to help us.

Dr. Conte, this video is an extremely great visual to let children and parents watch that are struggling with this concept, I can never put it as elequently as you! These are such helpful concepts to teach others that can be resistant to new ideas because they are easy to grasp. I can't wait to share this visual with others!

Thank you. Thanks for taking the time to tell me.

This was a powerful video for me to listen to years ago when I was going through a hard time and now I'm sharing your info to a friend right now who needs help. Thanks for the amazing video . I feel you compassion and love.

You're welcome! Thank you so much for taking time to watch and share this video. Yes, I agree, we tend to give our power away in many instances in life. I wish you all the best. Much peace, Christian

These techniques help so much, thank you for taking the time to make this video

Thank you Doc! Very intuitive and well thought out strategies laid out so beautifully and simply. Sending positive vibes to you and anyone reading this

Old video still helping people. Thanks Dr. Christian Conte. I have had a problem lashing out with emotion since I was a child and it's got me into a lot of unessacary trouble over the years. I'm 43 now and finally ready to change.

I am so glad and thankful I stumbled upon your videos! Your down to Earth sense of conveying your messages is amazing. You have a no-b.s. way of putting things and you're easy to listen to. I hope I can get better at practicing all these techniques and be better especially for my kids. Thank you so much!

The best doctor!!

Thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate you taking time to watch it.

This was a massively helpful lesson for me, people close to me always tell me I am giving away my power and I never understood what that meant or how to stop it, until now. Now I get it and I think I can finally do better with this. Thank you for this and all your other lesson Dr. Conte!

Thanks Dr Christian

Thanks brother. I appreciate you taking the time to let me know.

Great explanation of this. I like the puppet and Iron man analogies!

I have seen countless videos on this subject and this video really helped me. I saw my anger in a different way. I've been letting other people control me well no more . Great video

Thank you for taking time to say something positive. Much appreciation.

Thank you very much.

This video should have at least 100 million views.

Thanks. Great perspective.

puppet & power technique for anger management. I remember this. Thanks

Absolutely wonderful, I love the example of giving away our personal power source. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here atKZfaq for the world to gleam.

Thank you SuperWeaponR - I appreciate hearing that a ton. Much peace, Christian

Thank you Dr. Conte!! I have anger issues and you have already helped me see things clearly!!

Thank you. You helped my life a lot.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you! I wish you well for sure.

Both Points are Very Useful and most important for us to know.

Good work, doc.

Seeing how much people go through, and how we can try to avoid issues and problems.

This video was so helpful I had to watch this again

Thanks brother.

My anger problem is not anything that you've given advice on in this video. It is like a much more deep rooted anger. I don't get as angry at people anymore for the dumb shit they do, i used to act out often but ive calmed down alot. My anger feels very deep inside and i rage especially at those closest to me, but not strangers. I need serious help with this because its ruining my relationships, and the guilt is weighing me down. Please help, thanks.

Thank you for your example

thank you Christian you really helped me. thanks you !

It does for sure. Thanks. I hope it helps.

I love your advice, very helpful.

Dr. Conte!!!! you're a boss!! we miss you here in Reno. be blessed!

Thank you, Dr Christian Conte. I will try to not give away my power.

Always helpful. Thank you Doc

Thank you for this

Thank You!

So simple and amazing

Those are two very powerful techniques. Great stuff.

Excellent information...thank you!

Great points. Thank you for sharing these techniques.

Thank you this video has helped me so much.

Thanks Doctor, it's very helpful !

Thank you for the tips

Loved the video! I'm enrolled in the Marriage and Family therapy program at UNR, suffice to say us students miss you a TON =) Can't wait to see what you put out next, keep up the excellent work!

Absolutely. I hope it can help.

Never thought of it as giving away my power! Love this concept/technique!

Thanks Doc!

Your videos are great. Thanks for making them.

Thank you so much dr conte, this video has been very helpful in my life

Thank you so much for this video back a few years ago I was constantly angry and I looked and acted completely different. At the time I thought it was no big deal until I saw videos of who I was. I never wanted to leave my house because of how angry I was and hated interacting with people out side of my comfort group.

So that would be a good example of giving away your power. I appreciate you sharing it, however, because a lot of people tend to get pretty angry in traffic. One key might be to try not to take things personally in traffic. I know that can be tough to do, but the more you can do that, the less you allow others to determine how your day goes. I'm going to write a blog on my website about anger in traffic for you and everyone else who struggles with anger in traffic. I wish you much peace tonight.

Thank you so much

Excellent, liked your power shield metaphore very much.

Thanks so much for this video, really helps! The puppet example is spot on. Great thinking thanks again

Great practical advice. Thank you Doc!

I watched this about a week ago and WOW it has made such a difference! Your advice is to the point and easy to remember in those difficult times. Thank you for sharing this knowledge :)

Thank you much Great advice.

Best best best video on anger management! God bless you Sir

Thanks for posting this video Dr. Conte, it's fantastic! I never thought of anger/frustration issues from the perspective of being a puppet. I've had an extremely late diagnosis of Autism, and had easily enough bullying from people (when a child and as an adult) because they sensed I was somehow vulnerable or an "ideal" one to target (and they got away with it). As a youngster I remember doing a lot of shutting down and caving-in when others took pleasure in pressuring me or manipulating me, and this was all I could do because I was autistic and unaware I had this developmental disorder. Whether I knew about the ASD or not, I ended up with a huge queue of negative events in my mind that were unprocessed when I was older... clearly all this unprocessed stuff had built up and was a recipe for meltdowns. Being unaware I was autistic, I was clearly handing my power over to bullies many years ago, but being autistic I couldn't control it. I suspect my power had already been taken from me (simply because I didn't know I had ASD), and as the special needs specialists in school all failed to detect my ASD, this meant I continued through life being unaware, vulnerable and very confused for decades. For years I was in a no-win situation almost. I now have much unravelling to do, and my diagnosis of Autism has proved a huge relief as I now have a clear explanation regarding why I've experienced all this bullying and had lots of it too. I think I'll always be up against it, as I will always have this slowed ability to process information (in the brain) as the ASD will never go away, but I'm definitely now free of that vicious cycle. I'll keep that puppet in mind - it's clearly a simple idea that can stop the individual sinking down into something horrendous or life-changing. Thank you again.

This video is from 2013 but is still very true today in 2023. These videos have helped me tremendously. Thank you so much 😊 Dr. Conte!

Wow!! That puppet idea really struck a chord.. I know I will think of that for now on!! Thank u so much!

You are a blessing, thank you 💯🙏🤙

Thanks.good stuff.

Thank you very much!

Thank you. That was spot on😀