Disregulated...I had no idea it was a thing. I've experienced this all my life. Better now but still happens on occasion. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us and how you walk through this! I think just knowing it's a real thing, it may help real me in faster. Thank you💕

It’s so embarrassing I feel so much shame when I get dysregulated especially around people

It takes me 2-3 days at least to get better after anything that causes anxiety for me

I can 100% confirm that limiting how much you keep repeating a story and stop ruminating is THE KEY to happiness. That was a major part of my healing.

Anna, this video couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m not embarrassed to say your channel and the timing of your videos feels like divine grace. Thank you for your work, by healing yourself you have been able to help so many others heal. You are an inspiration and a model for us all 🙏❤️

Getting ripped off disregulates me big time. I was ripped off and defrauded by an interstate moving company. I lost 3/4;of my household belongings and still haven't recovered 3 years later. Your Mr. Roger's method has been helping me so much.

I went on three dates with a lovely person and while texting about the 4th, she let me know she wasn't interested in a relationship w me anymore. I was GUTTED and it ruined my night and plans for today. I moped, cried, and took a few naps. But today, roughly 18 hours later, I have things I have to do and I'm getting ready to do them. I let the bomb hit me and it really hurt (still does), but luckily I have my own life to get back to. Her loss 🤷🏻‍♂️

Anna, you are a godsend! Seriously! I’m a 58 yr old woman who has suffered from childhood sexual snd emotional abuse and parental alcoholism. Your teachings have helped me so much! My emotions and behavior feels validated and I now feel like I have tools to work on it! Thankyou! I feel like i was guided to your channel. Huge!♥️

Aw! Thanks for the prompt to think about positive memories, and to articulate to sensory stuff. Often I think about my Grampa for delightful memories : like once I made him a pie and he would occasionally bring up how good it was - for about 20 years! He used to mention offhand little details, like how he loved the smell of fresh cut hay when he was a kid. He had a really tough upbringing and I think he figured out how to regulate like you describe in this video. And he was a radiant person who brought so much joy to everyone. He's proof for me! My hero!

Thank you for your honesty. Yes, I can be triggered by someone acting like people did when I was growing up - especially the denial of reality. I think that my brain gets stuck on an a round and round track of trying to figure out how to fix it - when it's not something I can fix. The daily practice (step 10 for me) is absolutely helpful. Then doing a quick step 7 to ask that fear and anger and resentment be taken away - whatever part of it that God wants to remove right then. It's a process. Eventually, God lets me know what I can and can't do about it. I memorize some of the Psalms and other scriptures and say those each morning in order to remember that God is in control not me and that He's protecting me. The dysregulation doesn't happen often, but my idea is that it's normal to a degree after the upbringing I had - which isn't happening now. Thank you for the other techniques.

This video couldn’t have come to me on a better day! Lots of stress today. House hunting, big job interview coming, dealing with in-laws, on top of my partner being in a wheelchair due to a chronic disease. But just hearing your story and what you’ve been going through with your emotions, and how you pull yourself out of the pit, gave me sooo much comfort! The guidance was great and I feel like I can breathe again.

They just don't get any more real and transparent as you are Anna...so APPRECIATED bc that's NOT easy for people like you and us...THANK YOU

For some of us who grew up in extreme dysfunction with a caregiving adult who made us walk on eggshells and saw malice in even our best of intentions, the suggestion of doing a good deed for someone you know can give us flashbacks to the many times our good deeds were looked at sideways. I even gave my BPD older sister flowers relatively recently after she caused a lot of problems in my life, but I wanted to rise above the situation, let her know I wasn’t angry, and that I was going to let it all go. She accepted the flowers, and I believed we were in a good place. But word got back to me that the story being told among my family members was that I “threw” flowers at her in anger. That’s the last time that we spoke, or will ever speak. Definitely doing something kind for someone YOU DON’T KNOW where they won’t find out you did it is the ultimate in feeling good about yourself. I know you also suggested that, and I want to acknowledge that as well. And that’s something I have found can be the least triggering for those of us who grew up in extreme dysfunction. There’s a womens shelter across the street from me that houses women and their small children from abusive situations. They accept money, but also gifts of unopened food, toys, and clothes. It feels good to give anonymously to that shelter and know that I’m not a “selfish evil malicious POS” like my older sister has always told me that I am. :)

Coming back from being disregulated, I have a long cry and snuggle with my cat, drink ice water, I have some really favorite episodes of Time Team UK that help me feel grounded then I can go for a walk and have some protein. It took me a long time to figure out what would help. I'm grateful for the crappy childhood fairy for guiding me through the muck.

Idk if I have cptsd but I found all of this incredibly relatable. That's exactly how it feels when I get angry with people. I also found that working in increments is a game changer earlier this year, it helped me do things even when I feel depressed

I'm so sorry you had a bad week and I'm sorry for anyone who struggles with emotions. Today I also had a terrible day falling out with narc family members. I was domineered and gaslighted and left like a sack of worthlessness. I'm not perfect but I do have so much empathy and I get almost zero back just domineerance and I'm not enough. I know the absolute darkness and loneliness and powerless and self blame and feel detached from the world. Right now I want you all to know I care you feel bad and I care that you should feel better and I want that for all of you and you are not alone despite where you are and what's happening. We all on same earth and when we feel terrible there are others that do too and they would want you to be OK so please just remember that as this vid and comments made me realise this. Care about yourself like others would even though we seem so far apart. We are all here.X

Thanks for sharing this ! I was recently the victim of a fraud. Once I got everything stopped and ironed out, I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and shame of feeling like this senile old woman and a total mark. I didn't even want to leave the house. You're right that talking about these feelings doesn't help, just stirs them up even more. Writing them out though really does help to put things into perspective. I really appreciate all your help and support.

All your videos are helpful, but when you share your own experience it makes me feel more connected to you. Thank you for sharing this and sharing your techniques. I have similar ways, thanks to you, but seeing you talk about it and knowing you are actually practicing your own healing makes me realize 2 things. 1 : I have a long way to go and 2: it’s okay, because look at you being an inspiration. Thank you Anna.

I have been watching your videos for the past 7 months and this is the first time I have commented. I just want you to know how pivotal you have been in my life. I’m tearing up just writing this. I have a clearer understanding of myself and an amount of grace that I never thought I could have. Thank you thank you thank you for finally giving me a name to what I have been experiencing my whole life since an extremely damaging and violent childhood. It’s changed my self perception from being a damaged person that someone will just have to learn to tolerate, to hope that I can actually heal and get the relationship I know I want and deserve. I have yet to experience a more powerful resource and actual tools that will help me. I know you hear this all the time but I really hope that it sinks in. You bring hope love and understanding to so many out there and I am so very grateful that you decided to follow your heart so that you could help the hearts of so many others. I am eternally grateful that I came across your channel and I’ve already purchased your dating course. Keep on shining!

Anna, This is what I love about you so much, you're not afraid to tell the truth!! The truth just resonates with me. We are all healing, it's not like you're the "Master Crappy Childhood Fairy" and you don't dysregulate anymore. It happens to you because of your PTSD and then you reregulate, that's the key to catch the dysregulation and be aware of it and take steps to reregulate!! I also want to thank you because two days in a row I got slightly dysregulated and was able to catch it and take the steps to reregulate. Before it used to happen and I had no idea of what was going on, I just thought I had a really bad temper...😘

Wow, thank you for your honesty & vulnerability. A blessing 🤍

I remember when I was at the lowest point of my life. I called my sponsor in AlAnon, but she was out of town, so i called my grandmother sponsor....who told me to go do something for somebody else. I thought, "You don't know what you're talking about!" But she did. I did what she told me - had to not get caught doing it - and it helped a great deal. I remember baking quadruple batches of cookies and taking them to the counter at AA - multiple times' when I was so angry....for people who were actually trying to get sober lol!

Ps singing really helps as a tool for me to reregulate and you don’t have to be good at it but slowly improving is so fulfilling ❤

I taught special ed LLD for 34 years. You're right - writing is VAKT (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, tactice) and works neurologically. The auditory for me is reading what I've written to someone else and to God.

A panic attack threw my whole day’s plans out the window today. I felt like the sky was caving in on me and I was exhausted - slept the entire afternoon. Thank you for this video!! It’s so nice to know there’s hope on the other side of this

Thank you for showcasing your process within your humanity.

"You're made to be in the service of good": this is why I love your channel, Anna! For me personally, it's so true, it gives my life new meaning, living like this, a right to be here (and to everyone who disagrees on that: that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem, not anymore). So happy to have discovered this secret to getting a second chance and so happy that you spend so much time and effort to share what you know about giving yourself that second chance with us 😊👍

Thank you for sharing your personal experience

Another approach is just face them. The emotion is already there. Lean in and find the root, protect your child self and change the memory.

This video came at the perfect time. Had the crappiest day filled with shame and humiliation and self pity which I rarely allow myself. I cried. Haven’t done that in months. Still need to cry some more and move on. Thanks sooo much. 💚

When you desrcribe yourself as the crappy childhood fairy, it seems you truly are. I have spent the past 15 years effected by cPTSD and didn't even know. I stumbled upon your channel in a mid off-work-in-bed doing nothing wracking my brain for answers on why my relationships in my mid 20s have become deeply difficult. I understood i had issues with alcohol from having an alcoholic parent but never really knew this severe. It all makes sense now. I sit with a book you recommend 3 days after finding your channel. I sat this morning and mapped out my mind with post it notes on my wall and began to work it all out thanks to you. Deeply thankful for your work. You gave me a deep sense of inspiration at a time where i truly felt lost. Started to see a future today. again thankyou so much.

I watched The Incredibles film last night, each one in the family having a super power. Watching Anna talk about steering herself out of dysregulation is a super-power!! I relate to everything you said today (sorry you had that experience), but it's a comfort in a wierd way to know I feel like you and others with Cptsd because otherwise it is a horrible place to be with no tools to change it. Thank you Anna for sharing your super powers so we can all learn how to get out of dysregulation and understand and not beat ourselves up xx 🦸‍♂️💐

First of all, I’m sorry you’ve been going through this, Anna. Thank you for sharing with us. I’ve been incredibly let down by doctors in the past year and have been so upset about it that it’s hard to function, like on top of my usually really bad C-PTSD symptoms. Came back here to get some comfort from someone I know will speak to my heart and put words to my experiences and emotions, and you never fail to do just that. Love to you dear human, I know we don’t know each other but your kindness has such an impact on many people’s lives. I hope you know that and it can brighten your bad days even if just a little bit! God bless you. 🤍🌻

It is so helpful to hear you have the courage to tell us how you are still so affected by cPTSD so we can understand that even someone we admire and learn from is not immune to the setbacks we all face. It’s easy for me to assume that you have conquered all - and so reassuring to hear that it is ok to have a week long reaction to something like this and that there are things you and we can do to get out of it. Thanks for sharing your current struggles.

So laid back, almost fall over backwards. Sometimes, I don't get as angry as I aught to in nessecary situations. Have only lost my sh¡t once. Scared myself. Not doing that again.

Thank you for being human and honest . It’s so much better to listen and learn from someone that understands and also makes mistakes and I can relate too God Bless You Thank you 🙏 I will keep watching:)

It’s so nice to hear from others about how to handle dysregulation. And that they nor others are out here being perfect. Thank you.

Anna, the more I watch you, the more I love you; you are so genuine, honest, raw and vulnerable. With sincere appreciation and thanks to you, I finally believe that at 57, I have the chance to heal: You have lived my life; You've crawled, and walked, your way out of a cave covered in rocks AND snow !! You truly are a Crappy Childhood, and, Crappy Life ANGEL because you genuinely CARE ... Thank you so much; You're an Inspiration and a BLESSING🙏

Venting is the brain naturally looking for patterns when threatened. Noticing it moves us out of blind reaction toward problem solving and a conscious response. Anything to get us to even one rational thought can move us back to reality. Remembering even one thing that we learned from those past experiences can help us to resolve the present conflict. I hate regressing. But it’s natural. Keeping one learning from it like a mantra to remember quickly gets me out of it faster. Thanks for all the great ideas to help get there so we can move forward with less damage, especially when someone does want to harm us in some way. The present has something unsafe or we wouldn’t get triggered. Instead of unloading, we can use venting to identify it as quickly as possible. For me, the shock of feeling betrayed even a little keeps me stuck and is the type of threat I personally most need to work on. I’ve found the workplace often does have undermining people. Learning to accept and expect this is a real challenge for me, let alone how to cope well with it.

GAH! This was what I definitely needed around noon today! Only it wasn't anger but rather panic and anxiety. I was in a worry spiral! I had a panic attack and constant worry about half the day. This was decorated with internet searches on health problems, constantly checking my pulse (something I tend to do when anxious and panicked) pacing and water guzzling. I went off the rails like a legend. I always find these episodes to be followed by some serious neediness! In the past I have found my self reaching out to communicate with all the wrong people and regretting it later. I get to feeling like I need human contact, hugs, talks etc... but I have no source for these things from anyone close to me. So I end up messaging or texting people that I know will respond or that I hope will respond. If I'm not careful I will end up in a depression, But I give myself a gold star because I am learning how to recognize my dysregulated state and how to handle what I feel appropriately. I did a "panic flow chart". I have a lot of stickers, emojis and whatnot, and a plethora of colored ink pens. I use all the colors and place stickers or draw little images as needed in the chart. This seems to help me so much! I can't say I don't still feel needy or lonely after, but I have a much better grip after looking at my pattern and just drawing and writing it all out in this way. ((HUGS)) to you! I am so happy that you can go to your husband and just get heard when you need it! You deserve that kind of love! I hope you have a great week!

That's what I'm missing, someone to offer comfort and listening especially during situations like this

Thank you for this video. Negative feedback is not easy to get. I have been in a bad neighborhood, and l don't do anything back to them. I do say things inside my house, but after ten years of hell from them it's all l do. I don't talk to them anymore because they are so sure they are right. I am tired of living under constant supervision from the this situation. It seems to trigger me, so l don't get stuff done.

Finding out dysregulation exists is a big part. The thing I hate is when you feel that adrenaline drop, floods your body and you feel off for hours.

Oh Fairy! Thank you for being real w/ us! It helps decrease my shame. I can’t believe the same exact thing happened to me on the same day only with our pool cleaner who had been cheating us all summer…. thus the black fungus. Once I started in I escalated quickly. Grateful for these tools to re-regulate. Shows me to LISTEN to my intuition because I knew something was up. I forgive myself for the (deserved)random annihilation but my cortisol levels are still suffering 1.5 days later.

You are so incredibly relatable. Thanks so much for sharing your own struggles (I’m sorry you were treated that way, btw. I’ve been there before too!) and sharing how you were able to pull yourself out of it. I love the sharing kindness idea, I will try that the next time I am in a funk :) thank you ❤️

Thanks for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable and honest. Great to know that even a fairy has her crappy days!

Thank you Anna 🙏 for sharing your truth. The best helpful advice for CPTSD I have found to date. At 60 years old, I still struggle with the embarrassment of deregulation & dissociation. I found your advice here so very beneficial & am so grateful 😊🙏💜

One of the things I’m trying to really work on is not getting worked up on my partners behalf. Thank you for pointing out that it’s unhelpful especially when my partner is seeking to simply vent and then get back to a regulated state. I have some childhood issues for sure but this is something I only just started noticing thanks to his clear communications w me. Thank you for your content and especially this video being so raw and personal.

This is a video that some people can use every day if needed.

Saving this video to review when I am upset. So good!

I'm like you, sometimes I try yelling etc (door slamming ) I cry when angry also. Yelling makes me feel terrible. I hate myself as I am acting out my anger. The story of bad things happening, feeling fearful & resentful, always brings a spell of being disregulated for too long such a set back for me. Nature time will sooth me and I find myself in the present.

This was so lovely, thank you for sharing ❤️

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but thank you for sharing and by doing so, making a negative into a positive, and really it's a positive that sows seeds by offering how we can grow through these challenging, disabling situations! And it really strikes home because I had my own 'situation' a few days ago: I was simply chasing the progress (3rd time of contact) of an incredibly important order and, after being given the run around again, the penny dropped and I realised that my good faith in the progress of the order was just bs. And here I was being chastised by him for following through on the timings he had told me! That powerless feeling of being coerced, blamed and manipulated was so disturbing and took me back to awful past times. But. I managed to write a letter - not to be sent, and have sat with it for a couple of days. Your video has given me support. Thank you! I understand I need to recentre, to disengage from his behaviour, stop 'othering' myself, and because I cannot cancel this order, I need to manage my expectations and keep myself safe. And tea always helps! Thank you Anna 🙏

It is SO true that talking / venting over and over again to try to get it all out doesn't work! The first "round" maybe, but if you then start all over again, it's just re-living the trauma and you're stuck. Keeping on talking about it isn't going to change it. The story won't change or somehow become ok. I took FOREVER to realise this, and I still am known to over-vent. I'm sorry you had to deal with this traumatic situation. One good thing is that you have learned even more about yourself and how to cope, and you've put into action those steps to re-regulate yourself, and you're also able to share this much needed knowledge and feelings with all of us. I think I've said this before, but you are the most genuine, caring and helpful person I have ever "met" about complex trauma and emotional dysregulation, because you truly understand it. You've lived it. And hey, you don't have to be perfect to help us with these videos! ❤️

Honestly... I feel a bit relieved that I am not the only one who just "loses" it sometimes. We are trying, but some people really do stretch all the patience we have

Just a few minutes into this….omg I adore your honesty.

I got to a certain point in life where I had done all the self-development I could manage, tons of therapy and loads of spiritual self-reflection. Yet...I had one embarrassing area I was NOT making progress in. It felt embarassing. Then i prayed and prayed and prayed please help me find the help for this. It would be a sort of sudden lack of self-control in my usually calm, bubbly and christian personality. Then I 'found' you. And it really was the final piece in the puzzle. I'm 51 and so it's taking time but I can feel the difference. Thank you. It must take energy to produce these videos but it's making such a difference to so many therapy exhausted individuals who want to remain kind and good. Thank you ❤

Someone angry, yelling, etc., doesn't bother me at all because my mother was like that 24/7. I never knew when she was going to fly off in a rage - and also have someone yelling at me & calling me names. That doesn't bother me at all & is good in a way but is also kind of sad.

Thank you, Beautiful Anna. This was so helpful. Thank you for sharing this with us. I didn't realize I gravitate to an old memory. I didn't realize this was part of it.

I always wondered why I am the way I am before I found you. Now it all makes sense, and I am eternally grateful

Anna you can always think about the fact that your children have a wonderful, caring mother and get yourself faster into the groove. 😀

Thank you for posting. Things like this help me feel not alone.

Thank you so much for sharing this! It helps me see and connect how I feel when I am dysregulated and how I react and then finding the steps to reregulate again. This really helps!!

Thank you so much for sharing this Anna. Your story is very relatable, about losing your temper due to a feeling of injustice, all the old inner voices pop up again.

OMG I am so glad I found this tonight. This is my problem. CPTSD!

Manic, but so important! I love your videos because you generally speak from a healed place, but I so appreciate this raw moment of set back in which you reaffirm how relevant your perspective is. Well done.

Thank you, Fairy! This is one of your most helpful videos so far to me. I love the detailed real life example of coming back into regulation. Thank you for being so vulnerable and thank you for the gift of your work 🎁 much love 💕

Thank you so much for your words. I have the issue of rerunning old hurts and dwelling on them. Will be learning about Pomodoros, too. ❤️

Thanks Fairy, had an upsetting thing happen last week which has shaken my confidence and I've been a bit all over the place since then. Appreciate your advice and understanding 🙏

Im glad you got back out of that state. And very glad you shared that with the rest of us. Ive just had one of those life-alteringly bad days too, and had to use all of those steps - ALL of them - to get regulated again.

Immensely practical, real and helpful. I avoid conflicts/difficult situations as it takes so long for my physiology to calm down. It takes hours or days and my day is ruined, yet I have my life to get on with. Since the age of five I have been affected and my worst times were conflict in a bad marriage. Done my fair share of ranting and it keeps my physiology hyped up. When I have a bad time, bad things from the past come up making me feel even worse - making work life at times very stressful! Takes so long to calm down. Shameful memories come up too and it is like reliving a past event. Thank you for your timely video and all the work that goes into this.

I’m baffled by how many of these videos I relate so directly to. I don’t have any serious trauma in my life but I do have ADD (which is known to be connected to emotional dysregulation) and definitely some emotional neglect issues from childhood. Therapists never seem to have picked up on these things for me.

This was incredibly helpful. Thank you for being open honest and vulnerable. I have gained so much value and healing from your channel particularly on how to regulate and take better care of my emotions and triggers. Hope things continue resolve peacefully for you. I'll be revisiting this session again. x

I recently found your channel and I'm listening to your very calming voice and feeling grateful that I now have your tools in my life. Suddenly I'm crying, not sure why yet but just really grateful. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. You're a gift.

Today is one of those days, I had a ptsd moment last night and once I get home I’ll release and write. Thank you 😊

Thank you, Crappy Childhood Fairy! I really appreciate you making this video and sharing your personal experience! and advice in this regard I'm not sure how I missed this video when it was published, but I found it at the perfect time! Fortunately, I normally stay pretty well regulated these days and I was so surprised when I found myself completely dysregulated due to a confrontation with a stranger in the laundry room of the building where I currently live, this past weekend. I was so surprised to find myself 'yelling' and engaging with this individual, and then having to deal with the fallout. It was just so 'unlike' me. lol This video really helps. Thanks so much! Lots of Love, Jaden XXXOOOO

I feel that process. I pretty much lost it today. What you said resounded loudly with me! Some of your thoughts at the end were good thoughts that can really flip the script. Thank you so much. I think I feel like you're the only human who gets the way I feel today from the inside. I'm now at the crash and burn state. I'll finish supper and do a craft and self soothe and restore some of that rational mind. I've been watching a lot of your emotional regulation and dysregulation videos. It's helping me a lot to give words and concepts to things I have been feeling lately and for a long time. Thank you!

You are an absolute Doll always being vulnerable and open with your struggles that help us ALL! Big Love 🙏

You have to re-frame it in your head being rational and compassionate and later when you have forgotten that and re-live it do it again, don't let the negative spiral start up again

I just have to say again how much of a miracle it has been to be able to connect with your content in in a deeply felt way. My heart can feel the compassion in your words so deeply that it feels like a completely fulfilling human experience. ✨ Just to touch upon doing something kind for people. I am one of those people (and I would imagine this will resonate with some others) that appreciate the gift of being able to give kind acts for others because it is meaningful to me that I can express a form of value toward others. I don’t really know whether or not it makes me a good person. I just know that I feel deep gratitude when I am in the space to give to others. It is not about wanting to view myself in a better light, but appreciating the ability to express the value I see in another persons light. I think that’s maybe why my kindness can’t be exploited very easily though… I’m not into acts of kindness that create a leveraging system to exploit, and if I am not in the space to do some thing I won’t. Until you can stand in the power of ‘no”- you’re ‘yes’ doesn’t matter🤔

How amazing she is! Thank you Anna for amazing topics and the way you begin every video without “hi, welcome back to my channel etc”, just straight to the point. And you are just so healing!!!

This is so enlightening and helpful … as are ALL your videos! Something extra special about this one… thank you

Awesome video, thank you. Love the little tip about protein too - simple but super important. I’ve had eating disorders in the past (mostly recovered now) but it’s amazing how lack of protein (and good fats) throughout the day can really affect anxiety levels.

Hands down best video ever. Living successfully with CPTSD is all about coping skills. You laid out a total plan that works.

This was such a great video. I relate to what you said so much. I flip out on people and feel terrible afterward even when they "deserved" it. I'll try these techniques.

Thank you so much for doing what you do. My whole life I’ve always felt like no one truly understands me or my dysregulated states, even I didn’t understand them! Until now ❤ This is just an absolute blessing!

OOOH I SO NEEDED THIS! I'VE BEEN battling this since 8/24 and knew things were escalating. I needed this! I'm glad I was able to diffuse this situation with another POC with this vendor. They tried to out me down as well I snapped professionally but It set me low low. I'm a business owner and I never want to feel extorted, threat a escalated response nor speak down to anyone. I had to take myself away from the issue and focus on what I could with who I could( Myself and a good friend). This is rich I really appreciate you. In fact this started with my boss 2 months ago lol. wow. good stuff ty!

This is one of the best videos I have seen by you. Thank you.

You are a blessing my dear 💕💋I really appreciated you. Thanks for your free videos .👄

Thanks for sharing this experience. I get into apoplectic rage when biz partners try to rewrite history about what was agreed. I never thought about it this way but it is indeed disregulating 🙏

Thank you for this valuable, relevant topic.

This woman is PURE GOLD ❤❤❤

Wow, so crazy, I am just now trying to get regulated over something so very similar, only in my case I was cheated and betrayed by someone I thought was a friend; a person I've known for over 50 years. She's exceedingly wealthy, where I am not at all, and she very literally cheated me out of $20 dollars of products. She attends an annual sale and offered to buy some for me, but then sent only half the amount but charged me the full amount, which I had paid to her before learning she shorted me. (I live in another state now, so sent her payment via mail.) When I questioned her about it the shortage (no accusations, simply stating the facts) she immediately got angry taking on a victim stance and attempted to turn it on me making me in the wrong. She then claimed she tore up my check (lied) as days later it cleared the bank, the check still fully intact. She is now ghosting me, but what she may not realize is I now wish to have nothing to do with her because I fully recognize she has very poor character; so I now choose to not have her in my life. I am upset with myself because I was starting to recognize she treats others badly (via her stories) but foolishly assumed she wouldn't shaft me, since I was her oldest friend. ( for the record she was a bff in early childhood, her family home an oasis away from my abusive childhood home, but, we had minimal contact for many years, so it is only in the past couple years I've gotten reacquainted with her as a mature adult). I think it's the oasis of her childhood family home I hoped to recapture by renewing friendship with her in our later adult years, but clearly I see it is not found in her. So, this is a very timely video for me, as the whole business has really tripped me up.

My gosh you are wonderful. I love your authenticity - to me you’re a standout in the virtual community. A v similar experience of feeling dysregulated myself through an event last week. A betrayal. Yes all that icky stuff comes up. Good to know your tips. Thank you so much. X

I really appreciate you, Anna Runkle. Your writing technique helps me every day. Thank you for all that you do to help make the world bearable.

This came at the absolute perfect time for me; thank you Anna 💙

Discovering/listening to your channel is giving me hope that I can heal. I have been very sensitive in all environments all of my life(68 years). I have been in therapy in past and it helped some. Did other things too. But some recent experiences have shown me that I can now utilize some new healthy strategies. Thank you. I will re-listen and practice.

Thank you for this video. I will use the techniques to try and alter my mood state. I recently stressed over an injustice that a was done to my dance teacher. They were fired with no reasons given. The decision from management had apparently been discussed and voted on months ago. They dismissed the teacher of 18 years under false allegations and without any mediation or recourse. They didn't even tell them face to face. As the teacher was a sole trader and not an employee apparently they could simply be served a months notice and let go. Such disrespect for so many years of service. I couldn't stop the horrible thoughts of injustice from whirling in my mind. It took almost 3 days for this feeling to subside. Even when doing mundane things to vent off the thoughts, discussions and emotions in my head would be so overbearing. I felt so helpless. For me it also brings up past events and negative thoughts which spur my mind into a spiral of depression. I wanted to do something positive and break out of the mood but simply couldn't stop my mind from racing. The helping others therapy seems to stand out the most in your video. I'll try that. Again thank you.

Thanks, I never heard anyone else explain how I experience things and then the need to retell the story. It's so beautiful how you speak about your sons. I dwell esp with the in-laws and blowups. My desire is to go no contact because without them around things are better. But then guilt and shame having to make that call.

This was so helpful. I had these episodes for much of my later life. Had no idea the role trauma and dysregulation were playing. I just felt rage & shame, & terribly ineffective all around. Thank you for your transparency. 💗💗💗