Some of my favorite shows growing up as a kid were “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” and “Family Matters”. Now aside from them being both classic sitcoms and hilarious, both shows centered around families that I wish I could of been a part of. See neither the Banks nor the Winslows were perfect, they each had their fair share of problems, and they argued but, they always seemed to settle their disagreements by sitting down, talking to each other, and coming up with solutions that benefit all the people involved. My family is not like the sitcoms. Growing up in my house was like, was like waking up every day in a minefield. We had to be cautious and walk carefully around our issues or everything would start to explode. My family has a basement full of damaged memories and closets overflowing with empty liquor bottles echoing secrets. I’ve heard whispers of cheating husbands and abortions but they always seem to get swept under the rug and I supposed this is how I learned to be a hoarder. How I was taught to gather all this hurt, but still keep it hidden from everyone. My family says not every story belongs on a stage. Says the narrative we give should only focus on the good moments. When I broke character and tried to overdose, they closed the curtain. When I wrote poems about being abused, they tried to cut my mic off and I told my story anyways. My father said I needed to act right and my father, such a bold character is he, that walking demolition. I still don’t know if he is a proud man filled with stubborn and anger or a troubled boy who buries his fear in the palm of his hand. I’ve watched him as he bulldozes his fear, his fist, through every hallway of every house and I hold the days when I can tell myself at least it's not my mother this time. At least he never got to me and I can only hope that the holes in the wall will serve as some type of metaphor for all the pain trying to escape but mommy doesn’t like a messy home so we hang picture frames all over the house and say look at how happy we are in the photo. Don’t pick it up. It looks perfect exactly where it is and despite all the destruction behind us, we just keep smiling. We keep silent. We just keep cleaning up the mess and pretending this is normal. We hide it all. All the pain, all the secrets, all the tears, all the fighting, all the bruises. My family is not sitcom material but we do know how to play our parts. We memorize our lines, we stay in character, we stick to the script and never expose what happens behind the scenes. I used to want a family, like the ones I saw on tv. I wanted to be happy like the Banks or the Winslows, but then I realized its just a tv show. But maybe, maybe my family is like theirs. They’re all actors; just like us.

This is really a poem I can empathize with it’s unfortunate but so appreciated

You are not lying sweetheart. I love the emotion and truth here. That sweeping shit under the rug has to go for families. Believe me, I know.

Going through this pain my whole life with my sisters. It's all coming to head right now. I can't fake it anymore, tearing down the curtain. No longer keeping up the act, the facade, abandoning the act.

I could relate to everything!!!

I'm in tears

Wow. Truly amazing work. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us

ouch, you are such an amazing writer.

Damn...💔

Damm this is so good

Yaaas sis

So darn good

Speechless....so amazing !!

I relate to this so much 😭

Damn, I fuck with it

My god 😩

Very powerful!

this!!!

Damn

💜

⚠️💚⚠️

♥️♥️💙💙💯

both of those shows had larenz tate in them and the royal family

😜😜

no