Ari Shaffir is a horrible racist. Why do ya'll keep employing him?

Eu sou o povo que cuida da porca que ela eu sou o porco macho da porca que elaé só um pouco que sou macho da porta que ela que levanta a saia eeu sou o porco que a poca quer ela leva tuas aí ofereceu para mim as partes íntimas dela tem

Eu ando no eu ando dono da forma que ela coloca a palavra crime 12 horas sem calcinha levantando eu ando no que foi ela que colocou o sapo que tá no

é eu sou gay eu sou gay eu sou gay que ela queria dar o rabo para mim sou gay que ela fez eu para mim eu sou o que que ela queria casar comigo eu sou gay que ela levantou a saia ofereceu para mimsou bem que ela levantou a saia oferecer os patinhos dela para mim eu queria estar aí para perguntar para ela porque que o senhor era se eu queria estar pqueria perguntar para ela vai eu sou gay e você já levantou a saia ofereceu para mim que ia casar comigo que que ela ela não explica porque que ela quis dar a p******* para gay

Eu sou louca ela quis dá para o sou louco e ela quis dar para o loucoporque ela escolheu logo logo para levantar saída para o louco porque ela não explica porquêo que que ela escolheu o louco para dar para o que levantou a saia para o Lucas crescendo porque ela não explica nada no prova é só ir porque ela não explica porque ela quis

It's literally what women think happens every time they regret the decision to sleep with someone 🤣🤣

@@Digitaldreamer7 Bingo

I say it to myself all the time

I wish I had heard this in my early 20s

Awesome

I really wish she elaborated on that a bit

Forgot about "The six o'clock"

Couldn't have said it any better!

Wingman hall of fame.

omg she sounds a lot like Chelsea

Why cant she just be annie? Whats the motivation for these comparisons?

@@LouisFGraham well if you like Scarlet Johanson and Donna you would like Annie if anything it works both ways you could even say that because she is the combo of them she takes the best aspects of both

So accurate 😂

I thought of Gina too 😂😂😂😂

can't really speak on behalf of all counselors

So true

@@ilevitatecs2 Were you a really "cool" camp counselor?

@@scourge8097 nope but find it hilarious when people speak on behalf of groups of unrelated individuals

@@ilevitatecs2 shut up

Here here!😔😒😞🍷

You can never go back. Don't even try.

Amen!

Biggest reason why I'm trying not to get back with my ex

Tied with filters basically.

Mario Lopez I don't know those characters by name but 2 seconds into her talking, I got who you meant. So accurate

Dead on brother!!

No all white people don't look the same. She looks nothing like Johansen. This one's eyes, nose, and even jaw are different. Yall are on crack.

She looks like a mix of the 2

Nahhh...she doesn't have ScarJo's nose. Or eyes.

@SaltyBrains jesus krist your second answer here ITS A FUCKING JOKE XDD

Annie is great!

Sooooo true! The experience ranges from minor let-down to disaster.

It kinda depends on the expectation and why they were your hero to begin with no one can ever live up to the hype but bearing in mind their people to you can gain a different kind of respect for them depending on the situation and how it goes some men and women truly are just wise smart humble good natured strong individuals

This is why you never fuck your heroes

This is why you don't have heros unless they legitimately save your life.

So true! My childhoood hero was the Incredible Hulk (TV show). I met Lou Ferrigno years later when I was a Bellhop. He didn't even tip me for carrying his luggage!!

10/10 - would +1 this comment again.

I thought the same thing!!

Holy shit you're right.

she got the husky voice too

I would be content with this alternative reality. I think that husky/raspy voice women will have is the sexiest thing a woman could have.

I thought you came up in NYC.....?

Your name used to be Mark?

Yes, and you're really JLO

Dang she old went to school with JLo

Fake. She was invisible in high school.

Do you know Mark Parker

Thats real cool jewels

@@c.j.9072 that's the only thing that matters. XD

@@c.j.9072 I need an answer to this question!

I went there too

Totally

Like you guys remember the 90's.

Good comment...nooooottt!

Oh my god this is so true

Lol it kind of is, actually

Christoffer Alberi oh fuck i went and trimmed mine too!

Can’t stop laughing! My face hurts from smiling an laughing so much

Christoffer Alberi Latex gloves made my game so much tighter! If you work with your hands they're going to be rough either way. Gloves stay in my condom drawer!

Like a fuckin serial killer...

Good decision

Depends on how old they were

Experts reveal that the percentage is actually 98.99%.

@@fohseytv no it doesn’t.

Pretty sure he saw her profile after she sent him a friend request

@Fohsey No. What age do people attend summer camp? It's always prepubescent kids. Also, she mentioned you graduate at 14. So everyone is 14 and UNDER. Regardless, she mentioned he didn't actually remember her. He was just hyped a girl came onto him over FB, claiming to have known him from camp.

Was thinking the same thing lmao

I concur doctor

Is it.

Guys don't like that anymore than girls! Just saying, do not stalk people! Give them your phone number after talking to them a bit and then have them never contacted you again. So much quicker with the rejection, it's both effective and depressing at the same time! Brilliant!

@@GummyBearRacing They don't literally mean "stalk", just look at their damn pictures so you know you're not into them before you try to fuck them.

Exactly what I was thinking.

David Miller ehh stalking does tell you a lot about the person

I was thinking same exact thing, check pics first

You hope it's just hpv..

When you get a pap smear it involves a scraping of the uterine lining. I'm guessing this is what she meant. You're welcome!

gsmontag a Pap smear doesn’t involve fingers, it’s a swab of the cervix with cotton swabs and sometimes other tools. Pelvic examines are done by hand/fingers. HPV can transmitted sexually so I’m guessing she’s saying his fingernails are gross and if he inserts them in her she’ll get HPV.

MzGeminiNightowl That is exactly the point, that the nail is going to be doing the swab

.

sathvik red imagine a male standup saying that

@@homerick8952 Don't say you've never done that...

.

Can we get a F bois? F my man Ezekiel

F

It's never too late to clip your nails

YesReneau. nahhhh... Joey Diaz, hands down. One of the better storytellers/comics on this series. Who else is on three times? She's damn good though. Id pay to see her if she's coming to Detroit. :0)

Timothy Kelley he is on 6 of these

It's cause she's a woman huh

She talks like a 16 yeard old, like you know what I mean. She barely got any laughs and most weren't deserved.

YesReneau that was barely even funny. Mostly sad

+TheNextMangaKing And I'm down here in the comment section, taking notes. Good to fucking know.

I literally threw my phone down at that part. I can't.

Hahahaha Jesus christ

Yeah that bit was horrendous.

Better than yech you stink.

Nonya Bizness get off KZfaq, Mark 🙄

.

Literally funnier than the entire video.

Ok you win

WesBus YOU WIN THE INTERNET

docHOLLAday53 thank you buddy

Ha!

I always skip past them👍

Yeah. Hate it when I forget to skip :|

MrSisterfister100 why did that upset you so much to where you had to insult the man?

@MrSisterfister100 Yes comrade, after this we go rush B

@MrSisterfister100 which is ironic, because you're bitching about him bitching. Whiny bitch.

I'm just picturing Mark McGrath with a different last name.

Same lmfao

My same thought!!!!

Everyone else too 😂😂

BRUH YE

I thought it was her at first

Thomas Adshade jr weirdo

She has a calming voice. If feels cozy almost???

There’s nothing to fix up. Based on the description she gave, there’s nothing wrong with him. She said he has long nails because he plays guitar. There’s nothing wrong with an eyebrow ring, even if you don’t happen to like it. There are things about his voice and his appearance that don’t fit her preferences, but other people can appreciate it. She even described him as being a really great person, and that’s always way more important then trying to appeal to people who have some weird issue with guitarists and eyebrow rings

​@@brinnshea - Holy Jeezus.

@@roysreceptive There's a balance between loving yourself for who you are and improving your own qualities as a person... While Mark Parker doesn't sound like he's in the most stable of lifestyles, ie. meeting to bone strangers* from FB, it's hard for me to criticize a person who's just living within their own means. ... y'know, as long they're not violent or actively causing harm to others.

I doubt that’s what he takes from this

And quits listening to Dmb 🤣

Joxy Surge believe me it only gets worse as you get older too 😂😂😂😂

Well it can be worse. I'm 35 planing date with my "happy place" then this video comes up "don't fuck your happy place!!!"🤣😭 I'll never have sex again😔

u not down with the shits bro it’s aii

Skip one minute.

Yeah cringy

I like them

D C “they’re”

Same where’s Mark

Good luck my dude

Bruh ... 🤣

me 2

I was thinking it was a bit dodgy, but you could apply to be one when you were 14 so maybe they weren’t adults yet? idk

lol ikr, and from the sounds of it all the counselors sounded like they were quite a bit older than her too from the description she gave when she got to the wedding and saw all of em again...

Most councillors range from 16-25 so they’d be 5-10 yrs older

Yeah, I went to summer camp twice, different places, and the councilors definitely didn't fuck with the kids. Dude if I was a sixteen year old the presence of thirteen years old would just irk me. I can't imagine any reason to do that unless they were tryna fucc

Hence the joke about moving on to hang out with "actual criminals"

mac alexis fr tho

mac alexis I was wondering how much they spend on those vs save filming in a Cheetas strip club.

mac alexis it is quite annoying

Y'all trippen

this is funnier than the video itself😂😆.

Yes it is, also my other favorites are the Artie Lang pig doing cocaine and Sal Vulcano terrorist threats

Along with Jim Breuer's

Dre Loco Seriously?!

Yep. Shes very underrated

Dre Loco noted

Dre Loco ZFG That's why she sounds familiar! Thanks for saving me a Google trip.

haha no way! love that shit!

Found Mark Parker

And the polygraph says…that was a lie.

@@craigaweigle wut?

YES! Not like that Iliza Schlesinger

The crowd is dead

I'm pretty sure they felt bad, they didn't laugh at the darkest jokes

Idk, the way she told it, I was assuming he didn't know who she was the entire time. There's no indication that he does.

I think she's ScaJo's twin

It was like watching Scarlett Johansen do an impression of Donna from That 70's show.

+Matt Parker A for effort.

60 seconds to skip the entire intro

I always do

You need help with comedy

Oh I'm SORRY, does my opinion constitute YOUR perspective of whats funny to me? go back to making shit memes for your friends to pretend laugh to bud [+]

My bad about that last comment, I was under the impression you would have friend(s) and also a dictionary handy to look up those big words I used. Sincerely, EAD

Wattsun Stars.... are you mark parker?

+Fear Box He said it like "I hope no one notices" hahahahaha

+Fear Box No. Most are not.

ehcmier Okay, most funny or positive stories are though. Is that better, internet contrarian?

+Fear Box Every picture of you is a picture of you when you were younger!

Man don't fuck me up this way