Are You Doomed to Turn into Your Parents?

Рет қаралды 95,030

Күн бұрын

Worried about turning into your parents? Hank unpacks the connection between personality, genetics, and upbringing. Ultimately, though, you are your own person.
Hosted by: Hank Green
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Sources:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8...
www18.homepage.villanova.edu/d...
pdfs.semanticscholar.org/f510...
sociology.unc.edu/files/2017/...
books.google.com/books?hl=en&...
www.jstor.org/stable/1130131?s...
www.jstor.org/stable/1131822?s...
www.sciencedirect.com/science/...
www.sciencedirect.com/science/...
www.researchgate.net/profile/...
openaccess.leidenuniv.nl/bits...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
www.sciencedirect.com/science/...
jamanetwork.com/journals/jama...
www.livescience.com/10681-tee...
www.nature.com/articles/natur...
link.springer.com/chapter/10....
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...

Пікірлер: 269

@TJtheBee 6 жыл бұрын

I definitely know about this phenomena and try to be self-aware enough to know when I mirror my parents’ behaviours - because they were emotionally abusive and I struggled with my anxiety and depression growing up with them. Now that I’m older, I want to make a real effort to be more compassionate, and be the person I needed when I was younger. But that being said...still don’t want to be a parent.

@Littaly 6 жыл бұрын

How could you just leave me standing, alone in a world so cold?

@slartibartfast426 6 жыл бұрын

When Doves Cry

@zacharyc6549 6 жыл бұрын

This is what it sounds like

@RoundPi 6 жыл бұрын

My mom gives me anxiety..... in more ways than one.

@alexjordan8838 6 жыл бұрын

Round Pi same

@messyties 5 жыл бұрын

Yeah.. tough one

@HakuCell 6 жыл бұрын

are you doomed to become like your parents? lol hell naw, you are not! your environments, your relations, your experiences: factors like these are super powerful and can make all the difference in your life

@corvoattano8567 6 жыл бұрын

Good job Hank, my Developmental Psychology teacher would be proud!

@uss_04 6 жыл бұрын

First an episode on Millennials, now an episode on becoming your parents. Is Hank and the SciShow Team having a generational freak out? ;)

@CatCaffeine 6 жыл бұрын

@microbuilder 6 жыл бұрын

Mid life crisis! lol My parents are pretty awesome, and I notice a lot of them in myself, so I'm cool with that.

@tastyshades 6 жыл бұрын

I love the Prince joke thrown in there!!🤣 thank you editors/post production/ Hank!!

@rileythornton2000 6 жыл бұрын

tastyshades haha, complete with crying doves

@austinhernandez2716 6 жыл бұрын

My parents had children without an education, good income or even marriage. I am not doing that. I'm about to graduate this may with my associates degree and then working for my bachelors. Then I'll worry about a relationship.

@sophierobinson2738 6 жыл бұрын

Good for you! Don't let anything stop you!

@austinhernandez2716 6 жыл бұрын

Sophie Robinson I'm not raising my children poor like my parents raised me. My point is that I'm NOT going to be like my parents like this video says lol

@mrirror2277 6 жыл бұрын

Jesus you're probably emulating them in other subversive ways other than the ones you'd mentioned

@judeironheart7252 3 жыл бұрын

yeah, you're in the right path.

@austinhernandez2716 3 жыл бұрын

@@judeironheart7252 thanks. And now years later, I actually want to wait until I'm done with law school. Probably won't be until I'm like 28. There's just so much I want to do. I'll probably never be styled down until I retire. I want to be heavily involved in politics

@tvdan1043 6 жыл бұрын

My grandma’s curse to my hell-raising aunt: “I hope you have 5 girls and they’re all just like you!!!”

@pokekitty1 6 жыл бұрын

did it happen

@elyasafaloni8925 6 жыл бұрын

YES!!! I can choose for myself!!! Learning something new everyday! 😃 Oh wait...

@CamRebires 4 жыл бұрын

I love how they always manage to get an uplifting turn at the end of the video

@EtanChamare 6 жыл бұрын

This is creepy. I got a 23andMe ad before this video all about people talking about how they think they are turning into their parents... Google... stahp.

@cerebrumexcrement 6 жыл бұрын

Me too. Lol.

@dustinwrye 6 жыл бұрын

KZfaq Red has been a great investment.

@TheVindicitive 6 жыл бұрын

They place ads on relevant videos how is that creepy?

@juliagulia9224 6 жыл бұрын

LOVED the reference to Prince! You're already one of my favorite KZfaq channels, but that just made me an even bigger fan.

@zekelyness 6 жыл бұрын

DAVE GREEN CONFRIMED

@ConanTan 6 жыл бұрын

++ nice, 69 likes would not like to ruin it.

@FaultyFae 6 жыл бұрын

@juliaprohaska9295 6 жыл бұрын

@ekospons 6 жыл бұрын

@MSmith-zs4gd 6 жыл бұрын

+++++++

@NewMessage 6 жыл бұрын

I was raised by TV, like normal people, and I don't think it effected me in the least. We'll have more of this comment, after the break.

@cuddlewuffle 6 жыл бұрын

I found this channel yesterday and I’ve already watched 30 of their videos in a row :0 really love it!

@brianb.6356 6 жыл бұрын

This video contains a common misconception about heritability. Heritability is not a measurement of how much of a trait is determined by genetics. Heritability is a measurement of how much of the variation of a trait is explained by genetics in a given population. Sounds similar but is actually very different, and the difference hinges on that last clause "in a given population". The heritability of any given trait varies depending on how much the environment influences that trait in that population. Height, for example, is very heritable in populations like the US, but is much less so in parts of sub-Saharan Africa where malnutrition is more common. In the US, the height of identical twins raised apart might vary about 10% from each other, so height is about 90% heritable. But if it was common for one twin of the pair to be underfed (like it would be in very poor countries), you'd see much more non-genetic variation and so the genetic variation (the heritability) would be proportionally less. Because of this, there's no such thing as the absolute heritability of a trait. Heritability is a property of a population, not a property of a trait.

@cerebrumexcrement 6 жыл бұрын

Very informational.

@MSmith-zs4gd 6 жыл бұрын

This is so cool. I was just learning about nature v nurture in Psych class this week. Thanks Sci Show

@KlaxontheImpailr 6 жыл бұрын

My parents yelled at me a lot when I was younger, I also have Asperger's syndrome so I have trouble moving on from things. I don't want to be like them at all.

@hyperludicrous9143 6 жыл бұрын

I really appreciate that he ended the video with the idea that we are our own people an are capable of making our own choices. A lot of people forget this when learning about psych.

@grahamhiscocks1506 6 жыл бұрын

I love Hank so much.

@corwin32 6 жыл бұрын

WHOAH! It was Hank's evil twin from the Twistyverse! 😮

@adolfodef 6 жыл бұрын

Actually, it is Hank´s chaotic twin from the Stormverse (the evil one has a mustache)

@jacobdriscoll8276 6 жыл бұрын

So what *does* it sound like when doves cry? Maybe a question for SciShow...

@microbuilder 6 жыл бұрын

"squaaeeeeee"

@HyperionaSilverleaf 5 жыл бұрын

Coooo cooooo

@1ThingIsToBeHappy 6 жыл бұрын

Great channel guys!! Y’all, pls make a follow-up to this video; discuss the impact of households suffering trauma, mental illness, abuse, etc. Ik that i still have some control in my parenting style/behaviour, but based on the statistics and the people i’ve seen, you just can’t really avoid certain traits. This makes me so scared to see myself as an adult, so much so that i feel like I should call it quits sometimes😂😂

@Valvex_ 6 жыл бұрын

The clone could have been Muscle Hank ;(

@ZamanSiddiqui 6 жыл бұрын

Halil Aydin IKR. Opportunity missed.

@khazix4833 6 жыл бұрын

impressive.. never thought about that before

@ananya.a04 3 жыл бұрын

You'll definitely be a lot like your parents, but doomed is a strong word. Not all parents are good, but not all parents are bad either. I'd love to be like my mom and dad - I try to incorporate the best of both in me.

@SupaDanteX 6 жыл бұрын

You are you're own person! Or at least, 40%. Give or take. Roughly. You're own person!

@drake_diangelo 2 жыл бұрын

Oh my gosh!! They finally showed us a picture of Dave!!

@lefthandofdog 6 жыл бұрын

I'm so psyched for this episode!

@mariothrowsfireballsuntitl1841 6 жыл бұрын

Nice pun

@narineramdihall5936 6 жыл бұрын

I know! I wonder what it will SHOW us!

@thisisjeopardy9024 6 жыл бұрын

Was that twin a nod to Dave Green?

@survivedandthriving 6 жыл бұрын

As someone who grew up in an abusive home I can agree that this is a different situation from good and good-enough families. Thank you for recognizing this difference. Unfortunately, I did watch the later video on whether having abusive parents means someone is doomed to become one. It was very problematic. I left comments there about that.

@kimayraa1864 2 жыл бұрын

Same man

@mikepaquette153 6 жыл бұрын

Loved the Prince reference!

@aniekanumoren6088 6 жыл бұрын

2:32 good one scishow. Good one

@TerenceClark 6 жыл бұрын

I was adopted and didn't get to meet my birth parents until I was 23. It was, and is, a heck of an experience. The obvious similarities were there. I was a singer throughout high school and college in top choirs and my adoptive mother never took to music. My biological mother, on the other hand, was a singer. And my half sister was in a competing high school show choir, no joke. I'm fairly tall, blonde, blue-eyed, etc, whereas my adoptive family, while not totally dissimilar, were worlds apart compared to my genetic relatives. In fact, the first thing my birth mother asked when I called her, and after saying "hello" was "All of my brothers and sisters want to know if you have big ears?". Why yes, in fact, one of my nicknames as a kid was radar ears. But the weird thing was personality, politics, life-style, etc. The things you don't always peg on genetics. Don't get me wrong, I like the family I grew up with. But politically and religiously? I'm surprised I didn't run into my birth family at political rallies prior to meeting them while I'm more likely to end up on the other side of a protest line from my adoptive family. My sense of humor is a weird blend of my biological background and my adoptive one, with very strong traits from both sides. My interests lean hard toward my biological family, too. I'm guessing, since a lot of people in the comments here are more likely than not scientifically literate, you're probably all thinking it's anecdotal evidence. And it is. 100%. But while I trust a well developed and controlled study over a handful of personal accounts, it's hard not to see it when it's staring you in the face. Sometimes literally.

@shibolinemress8913 3 жыл бұрын

Nice Prince reference in the graphics! 😁

@nikkiferlazzo 6 жыл бұрын

Prince reference on point!

@MarlinRectory 6 жыл бұрын

I love the subtle prince reference :)

@noorbadran5563 6 жыл бұрын

Can you PLEASE make a video about depersonalization? Im think im experiencing it and im really scared

@tserbos2 6 жыл бұрын

Hello from Greece! God bless you Hank... Keep educate us . When I make extra money I will be your best patreon

@slaster8063 6 жыл бұрын

tserbos2 best? wat

@Westonator5000 6 жыл бұрын

I've been noticing this a lot coming into adulthood, it seems like when faced with new situations we tend to default to whatever our parent would do in that situation. I'd like to think that I would behave better, but then there's new kinds of stress that you don't know what to do with yet so you just act like your parent may have acted in that same situation.

@mikek4025 6 жыл бұрын

but our own decisions are ultimately a result of neurological changes from experience and genetics, so nobody has much of a choice really

@spasticchicken5140 6 жыл бұрын

init

@HakuCell 6 жыл бұрын

yea, and that is also why things like meritocracy and unnecessary economic inequality are bs

@jjc5475 6 жыл бұрын

that's up for debate.

@danaphanous 6 жыл бұрын

I love this question. It turns out pretty nuanced if you study it. On the one hand determinism says that if we are made of matter and matter is deterministic we must be deterministic. On the other hand, now we aren't even sure if matter is deterministic anyway after experiments like the twin-slit experiment. Single photons of light shot through a slit one at a time turn out having different trajectories that appear to be based on interference patterns. But there was only one photon at a time. This has happened for electrons, protons, whole atoms, and even molecules. This implies that matter is not in a single place and we aren't sure if it is deterministic. On the macro-scale things look predictable but if you get small enough the best we have is statistics because things don't appear to be deterministic. So is something as complex as a person truly predictable either? Not if quantum effects play a role. Does that mean we are random? That free will is allowed? No one knows really, though everyone has strong opinions. I think the only way this could be truly tested is if we are able to fully model the brain and every neuron. If doing this results in a computer program that acts exactly as the real person for many days given the same feedback, we are probably deterministic. If the two deviate quickly given the same feedback, it would mean we have free will or that something affecting our decision making which is smaller then the unit of the neuron is at play. And if that is true you have to wonder if quantum interference is playing a role. One thing you SHOULDN'T do is stop trying because "I don't have free will anyway". What you believe is strongly correlated with your success. Believing that you have no free will has made a lot of people stop trying to improve themselves or their situation and made them actively worse people that contribute less and give less to society. You could argue that only some people will arrive at this belief anyway, but what is true is that those that believe they can change themselves and improve their situation generally do it, whereas people that don't don't. So regardless of whether or not you have free will, this is the desirable state. You should see if you can arrive at it. Humans are feedback creatures that respond to their environment. If you read this comment it CAN affect you in a way that allows you to start believing you have more control over your life and free will which will lead you to greater success in the future. It's really kind of a strange thing to think, but not having free will in this case doesn't mean you will never think or be a certain way. You just have to find the right argument or the right feedback that begins to change you towards that state. aka: just because you may be deterministic with perfect information about your experiences, doesn't mean you can't also have a semblance of will or a fair chance to change over time.

@Jemini4228 6 жыл бұрын

What about if you decide to swing hard the other way when it comes to parenting? For example, if your parents let you slack off in school and you grow up wishing you'd done better with your grades, you might respond by pushing your own children academically.

@lizwalter1023 6 жыл бұрын

i wanted to fix his collar the whole time

@jagx234 6 жыл бұрын

loved the Prince reference :)

@KyleAlexJohn 6 жыл бұрын

have to take a second to thank you for the Prince Reference.

@kaelaolsen9251 6 жыл бұрын

Omg!!!! Loved the "When the Doves Cry" joke!!!!

@sooooooooDark 6 жыл бұрын

1:57 shiny ikari's upper body up to his jaw in the top left background scribbles

@spazzycisme 6 жыл бұрын

Here's one for the psych people: I can't stop looking at Hank's upturned collar.

@rubygupta9770 6 жыл бұрын

Never been so early. Great vid

@HakuCell 6 жыл бұрын

remarkable earliness! (lol)

@kingjames4886 6 жыл бұрын

back in my day...

@cowboyhank456 6 жыл бұрын

When I was a kid I was always like nah, I'm so different from my parents. Now that I'm about to turn 19 I'm starting to realize more and more how much I'm like them, or turning into them :p Also, your collar is really bugging me

@kaelaolsen9251 6 жыл бұрын

WILL YOU PLEASE DO A VIDEO ON GLIOMAS??????????? (Ps. Thanks for the video, SCISHOW!!)

@thomashaapalainen4108 11 ай бұрын

I live in central Massachusetts. Everything is uphill both ways.

@MissMusicIsLife25 6 жыл бұрын

A+ on that Prince reference

@SUMMERVR121 6 жыл бұрын

Your collar is flipped up in the back, can't unsee it

@N.... 6 жыл бұрын

Did anyone else see this video go private for a couple minutes?

@Poppamunz 6 жыл бұрын

ERMAGERSH ILERMINATY

@TrannyWillis 6 жыл бұрын

Question: So alcoholism and abuse are deeper than this overview. I understand that. My question is, can being raised in that environment actually reduce the chance of you turning out like your parents? Like if parents are abusive and neglectful, can the child, once grown, make a conscious and successful effort to NOT repeat the mistakes of their parents? Kind of like a reverse psychology thing? If you answer or make a video on it, I'll love you forever! (I already do, but it still would be an awesome gesture on your part)

@juliagulia9224 6 жыл бұрын

And the doves (just noticed them), you're killing me! 💜

@mr.boomguy 6 жыл бұрын

My mom and I can almost read each others thoughts. We sometimes mention the same thing the other think.

@RikoLime 6 жыл бұрын

I am mor elike my mom than I thought, but thats fine, cus Im also different. Plus, because Im SO MUCH like my mom, I can also use her to know what to expect. It helps that when I was little everyone thought we were sisters - the physical similarities were so high. I also mostly grew up with her. However, my brother became more like my dad, despite mostly growing up with my mom or grandma and never seeing my dad.

@Pandaemoni 6 жыл бұрын

My parents were abusive, angry people. I'm happy to not be like them.

@siyabongaskhosana7782 3 жыл бұрын

I'm trying to avoid being nostalgic until I'm really old. I still got stuff to become nostalgic about

@_Acala 6 жыл бұрын

Damn, that was a pretty slick prince reference

@Flamingbob25 6 жыл бұрын

with this Im curious is there any data on people actively trying to be different from their parents?

@laterkater4213 6 жыл бұрын

I was wondering if you would discuss parenting itself. I’m likely to have kids pretty late (after 35), and so did my mum, so it’s interesting to think that the parenting style in my family as a whole will probably differ quite a bit over the three generations between me, my mum and my grandmother. 🤔

@lahdeedah87 6 жыл бұрын

I have such a terrible memory I’ll never be able to dwell on nostalgic thoughts. I can’t remember my younger days! It’s a bit sad but it also means I’m very centred on the present. My mom is very similar and she’s awesome so I’m not too worried. 😆

@dylanp.6967 6 жыл бұрын

My... parents? As much as I have love for them, they are a veritable asteroid field of crippling issues ranging from homelessness, schizophrenia, addiction(s), attempted homicide. Hoooo, what else. The works of Hieronymus Bosch comes to mind, recounting some of the more surreal episodes witnessed. The genetic predisposition exposure alone had me worried growing up, but so far, so good. I've not been homeless, no signs of schizophrenia, never been addicted to anything and I haven't tried to kill anyone yet. So take THAT, genetics!

@alexanderadavar6439 3 жыл бұрын

Despite being raised in different cultures and countries by different people, my sisters and I grew up to have the same careers, musical interests, hobbies, and loads of other things, despite not meeting or even knowing each others existence until we were adults. However, none of us are like our shared biological parents in the slightest.

@EllieDimambroDenson 6 жыл бұрын

It's Dave!!

@uss_04 6 жыл бұрын

The problem with Nature vs Nature, is the ones who typically provide the upbringing also provide the biology.

@eruyommo 6 жыл бұрын

US Yes, plants are fighting plants.

@Abraxis86 6 жыл бұрын

One day I will turn into Hank

@cluckeryduckery261 6 жыл бұрын

Abraxis86 i can only assume this means he's your dad... damn you're a fast learner! Weren't you just born?

@Ikajo 6 жыл бұрын

The members of my family is quite different from one another. Especially we siblings. Our parents are very different people so that makes sense. But non of us has chosen a path that is similar to each other. Our interests is also very different.

@Stipopedia 6 жыл бұрын

Anyone told Hank about that collar?

@chrisforsyth8323 6 жыл бұрын

Yes, but no large-scale hate, is there? Weird.

@rubabhuss2791 6 жыл бұрын

What is with that collar?

@sammichbread 4 жыл бұрын

"a zuh pfeh." i've never seen closed captions be so accurate to a non-word sound before...

@km1dash6 6 жыл бұрын

I know that I inherited my parents Neuraticism, but my parents are both extroverts, my sister is an extrovert, and I scored more on the introvert side of that spectrum (I'm talking about OCEAN here, not the Myers-Briggs). Are some traits more influenced by genetics than others?

@corvoattano8567 6 жыл бұрын

Yes and no, in general everything in psychology is a grey area so the best answer I can think of is don't worry too much about analyzing it, instead focus on your own motivations and what you can always do better on. Ultimately your identity is your own, and it can be easy to get distracted by statistics, but results come from your own actions.

@uss_04 6 жыл бұрын

Personally, I’m surprised they aren’t using the easier to remember OCEAN acronym.

@mikeo.4924 6 жыл бұрын

Well! Deep...

@jamesbaxterfirst 6 жыл бұрын

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little blue boy and the man in the moon, we'll get to get her then dad, you know we'll have a good time then...

@bismarrezaaraisyi384 3 жыл бұрын

I hate the fact that my anger issue are from my dad, and when I'm mentioning it he act like he don't know it

@RecklessRon 6 жыл бұрын

Loved the 'When Doves Cry" easter egg. :-D

@victorfinngall3911 6 жыл бұрын

You are your own person, and only you get to choose who you'll become... 40% of the time.

@THETRIVIALTHINGS 6 жыл бұрын

1:16 I think many of us will hold you to that.

@zombieblood1675 6 жыл бұрын

Bleed

@billygoatideas 6 жыл бұрын

Good to see you covering The Big 5 personality traits, I'd love to see them covered in-depth. Perhaps mention the work of Dr Jordan Peterson

@iglesiasthiago 6 жыл бұрын

@jmanj3917 Жыл бұрын

2:30 Hahaa...Nice

@WillMoff0 6 жыл бұрын

third brother Dave confirmed as Hanks older bigger twin!

@SayHelloHelli 6 жыл бұрын

The height thing is funny. My whole family is really tall but I’m pretty short. Turns out I had undiagnosed Crohn’s disease during my teen years which caused malnourishment so I wasn’t getting all of the nutrients I needed. I was supposed to be tall 😭😭

@vickymc9695 6 жыл бұрын

I feel you. Celiac disease, means I'm 5'1".

@sophierobinson2738 6 жыл бұрын

Fix your collar, Hank. My son was 5 when he last saw his father, yet he has several of his father's mannerisms. He even has a similar laugh.

@briandoolittle3422 6 жыл бұрын

I'm definitely doomed to turn in to my parents, since I already did....

@Marceliaan 5 жыл бұрын

Why doesnt't Dave Green make his own video's? :D

@LittleRadicalThinker 6 жыл бұрын

I think, hank, you and your brother and your parents all speak.... very very fast.

@cassieoz1702 3 жыл бұрын

Nature; Temperament Vs Personality Vs epigenetic influences. Nurture; home environment Vs the peer group you identify with. Good book about this is The Nurture Assumption. Beware quoting averages, especially when data follows an inconvenient bimodal distribution

@thesmolswefur1357 6 жыл бұрын

Hmmmm

@jamesslick4790 3 жыл бұрын

I "resemble" my maternal grandfather (Noticed by not my assessment, but by other relatives...) than either of my parents. I guess sometimes there's a generational "jump"?