If ur own mother gets angry at you she loves you too at the same time. But in our soceity mother in laws just tease their daughter in law and never give them space or free hand in their home . A girl came from some other home in a new home and starts living in all new people, in laws should let her feel easy and give her some space and liberty to do things like she used to do in her parents home. But unfortunately nothing like this happen. And sometimes girls get offended by both sides (her parents home and her inlaws) and she might starts thinking that she doenst have any home even.

With due respect sir, ye baatain krna asan hy aik mard ho kr, mgr jis py guzarti hy wohi janta hy. Haqeeqat is sy bht mukhtalif hy.

Sir, you are not a woman so it’s beyond your understanding how it feels to be humiliated by somebody else’s mom. First there needs to be acceptance and then it might be easier to give allowance to in-laws.

This is the biggest problem in the subcontinent. Everyone tries to bring culture in Islam whenever there is any issue regarding a daughter in law. Damaad ek din apni saas ki kadwi baatein seh ke dikhaye, in Islam mother in law doesn't has the authority to say whatever she wants to her daughter in law. But apke culture mein zaroor hai aur bahu ko sehna bhi hai, afsos!

برا منانے کا تعلق اس سے نہیں کہ اگلا اس سے کتنا برا پیش آیا بلکہ اس سے ہے کہ وہ خود کو کتنا "بڑا" سمجھتا ہے۔ اللہ ہمیں تکبر کے دھوکے سے دور فرماۓ۔

But aik BAAT Hy....k hum apni Ami Abu py ghussa BHI KR dayty hn...sass py tw nai Nikal sakty

When Saas treats you like her sons care taker and a servant things change.

Sir ye batyn apke liye bhttt aasan He. Qabar ka haal murda hi janta he.

We can't take mother in laws as friend's parents because friend's parents are not connected to us and not part of our daily life and family but in laws does.

sir apki sari batain theek han.lakin kiya ik maa apni beti ka jaib kharach rokay gi kiya ik maa apni beti ko kamo ma uljha k os k shoher say door karay gi kiya ik maa apni beti or damad k ajdawaji taluq k darmiyaan khalal dali gi darwazay bajaye gi kiya ik maa apni beti k ehsasat or jazbat ko chuchalnay ka koi moqa hanth say janay nai day gi??? aesi dekhi h mny saas tu miyan k sath bethnay ko kut khana kehti ho jo miyan bv k ajdawaji taluq ko tabah karnay k liye har mumkin koshish karti hon jo 4th pregncy ma ydh kehti ho.mjy tum pasand he nai thi hum nay kahin or rishta karna tha Allah aesi saso ko bahuin na naseeb karay ameen

This is the issue of a culture that "babifies" adults and belittles women. The age of training is until the teens, after that the parents cannot unjustly command their grown up child to live under their control. Control is when the child is a child, if adults are pampered like babies they will seriously suffer psychologically. The daughter in law is no baby that a mother in law can command her to do as she pleases and insult her like a piece of rubbish. She has no right to do that and it's amazing that such dhaalimah ladies don't fear their Rabb nor do they have any sharam for their disgusting akhlaaq. The daughter in law has a right to autonomy- to be herself, to have peace, her own space and her own decisions. She is an adult and not somebody's slave or baby. When the mother in law knows that her daughter in law owes her nothing and both live their own unique lives, watch, over time a friendship will develop between the two inshaa Allah. If the other imposes on the other then this resentment will last for a very long time, unless Allah wills. Women in that state are depressed, suffocated and only Allah understands their pain. Let's challenge a man to stay just one month with his mother in law and let her insult him and force him to do house chores, to wake up as they please, to leave their lives for them. After the challenge is successful men can say something. Before that, never ever belittle the pain of a infantilised daughter in law. Allah help us all. Ameen.

Dear Sir, see the comments below and review your way of thinking. It is not so simple to live with a Conservative mother in law.

Aisa nahi hai sir .mostly mother in laws bus bahu ko betay ki.nazar se girane knliye burai kerti rehti hen or zamane ki.bhi nazro se girana cahhti hen bus doori rahey beta bahu me.kuch kerlo wo.kabhi apni beti nahi manteen hamesha niyyat pe shak kerti hen koi apna best bhi kion na de dey hamesha kisi or ki.bahu ziada behter hoti hai unki nazar me unse beta bahu ki.bonding ya piyar bhi bardasht nahi hota

Maa ki dant mein tanz nai hoty or sas aap k maa baap ki tarbiyat ko ghnda kahye din raat self insalt kary Sab k samny wo theek😔

agar saas maan jesa pyar bi de tou insaan daant kya maar bi kha lay.

mAh kabhi khany piny py dyhan ni rakhti sas dyhan rakhti kia khaa ri mery kitchen sy shohar ko sikha dyti ... Janab ap murd hm ni smjyen guy ap

Baat tau aapki thik hai k berdashat kerna chahiye. Laikin aik difference hai Sir ji. Humari maa jabb danti hai tau kisi ghalti ki weja sey danti hai. Aur uss k dil mein humarey liye mohabbat hoti hai. Jabb k saas ka asal massala bahu sey nafrat hai. Agger saas nafrat na karey aur hassad na karey tau shayad bahu k liye bhi berdashat kerna mushkil na ho. Aur friend k abbu ka samna tau kabhi kabhar hi hota hai. Jabk humarey family system mein ziada tarr saas ka sath husband sey bhi ziada hota hai.

Mashaallah aap ki baate zindigi ko Behtar or behtar banati h bohot bohot shukriya asif sahab

Sir parents ki batien islie feel nahi hotien qk wo laad bhi uthaate hain,saari needs bhi pori karte hain or ehsaas hota hai unhien har baat ka,hamare mushkil waqt m hamesha saath khaare hote hain chaa he aulaad jesi bhi ho.jitne laadpyaar or araam larkion ko maa baap k ghr milta hai sir mushkil se 30% bhi susraal m mil jae to ghaneemat hai.ap soch nahi skte ajkal susraal k baroon ne kia haal kia hoa hai apne chooto ka.jb ap kisi hi zindagi k basic rights se cheen lienge to kon hai jo saas ko maa maanega.

Living in such an environment is not easy plus when real mum or friends parents can be nice to you at least some part of the day and you know they are sincere in their hearts and will not kick in your back in your absence , these things makes life and reality really different and difficult. When MIL won't treat you as a genuine family member, hide every thing from you as a DIL and tell bad to others on her absence even for +16 years how we can assume to just ignore and love them as your mum. If your real mum do such things then she's not capable of achieving the honourable title of"Mum".

Har wakt aziyat dyne k chkr mn hoti unhy lgta hmra beta chin gya

With all due respect, with some traditional mother in laws, this doesn’t really work. Even if you give them the place of your own parents, the in laws always see you as a daughter in law not a daughter. Pakistani in-laws worship son in law and view daughter in law no more than a maid!

Good, but still friends parents while playing...is totally different and sass susr.....tell their sons to leave her, divorce her she is this that, and then....in order to accept each other we first need to realize existence of both sides

Ammi ko hum baatain b suna daitay Hain lakin SAAS ko hum Kuch keh b nhi sktay

Sir, At least ap se iss typical soch ki expectations nahi the.

Ma shaa Allah short & sweet message 👍 Easy to understand & share

Sir barah sirf age or rishte m nahi hona chahye logo ko......baara pan bhi dekhana chahye aqal m,insaaf m,dar guzar karne m,mohabatien baatne m,izzat karne m. Sir I spent my whole life in joint family...I noticed k jis ghr k baare shakhsi lehaz se behtereen hote hain unk ghr m kabhi bhi social issues nahi hote.

I think the root cause is to compare a mother in law with own mother! These are two totally different relationships! A mother-child relationship is pure and natural. Treating both as equal will set unreal expectations and thus the problem starts. Its the same as a boy cannot treat his father and his fil equally. Why do we have these unreal expectations from girls?

Aur woh saas apni bahu ko itna margin dedeti hai jitna apni beti ya betay ko deti hai? Maa ki sun ke samnay keh bhi saktay hai!

Or agar saas ko bas kaam hi chahiye ho aap se tou Kia Karen?? Bahu or mulazma me farq Nahi hota jab tak kaam Karo sab thek rehta hai or kaam na ho tou koi izzat nahi

بالکل صحیح کہا ہے کہ جب شوہر کی عزت دل میں ہوتی ہے تو ان کی ماں بھی اچھی لگتی ہے لیکن اس میں خود شوہر کا کردار بہت اہم ہوتا ہے۔

JazakALLAH Sir...❤

Shadi shuda jorrey ko bhi space deni chahaiye volunterringly

Hum apni religious hudud aur boundaries bhul gaye hain is hi liye maasail say dochar hain

A real mother can never say the kind of things that mothers in law say. They should be given education too, their age doesn't give them the license to humiliate and oppress their daughters in law.

Because sass is not amma. You oversimplified this issue.

Saas ki anadaz mai tamz hota hai but i still apprecia this conversation Agr saasein maa say milney nahin detyn

Sir you remind me my childhood we went to see our friend her father opened the door and said she not at home go still remember but in good way I’m in England love Karachi

The elder in a relationship has more responsibility too. In a wife husband mil triangle, mil has the most responsibility since she has more experience and has been through this stage. Why do we forget k saas bhi kabhi bahu thi :) despite watching this drama we tend to forget our own time and victimise our bahus instead of supporting them :)

You ppl didn't get his point he is saying to give margin to your mils not allow her to walk all over you.... You should understand where she is just harmlessly saying stuff and when she is deliberately trying to harm you.... Ainak change karlain maa samjhain tu boht sai maslay sulajh jayeen gai

Kiya baat hay..... Buhat khoob

At times susral walay suffocate kr dety han tanya dey dey kr .. baatain suna suna kr .. plz girls ki takleef ko bi smjhain

Very impressive thought. Thank you sir.

ماں کی ڈانٹ کے پیچھے چھپی محبت اور ساس کی طنزیہ باتوں میں زمین آسمان کا فرق ہے جس کا اندازہ آدمی نہیں کر سکتے۔سیدھی سی بات ہے بس بحیثیت عورت،عورت کو بس برداشت اور صبر کرنا ہے اس کے سوا اور کوئی چارہ نہیں۔آدمی بیاہ کر عورت کے گھر جاتے پھر انہیں پتہ چلتا کہ مشورے دینے اور عمل کرنے میں کتنا فرق ہے۔

As Salam Alykoum Janab salman asif siddiqui saab Mein apko europe se sun rhi hu JazakAllah

زبردست

Positive talk ❤

Thanq u so much sir

Jazakillah 👌🏻

السلام علیکم سر سلمان, یہ بتائیں کہ ہو سکتا ہے آپ مکمل ایمانداری اور خلوص ِ نیت سے اپنی ساس کو وہی درجہ دیں بلکہ بعض اوقات ہم انھیں والدہ محترمہ سے بھی زیادہ اہمیت دیں، عزت و احترام کے ساتھ ان کی خدمت بھی دل و جاں سے کریں کیونکہ ہمارے لیے اپنے خاوند کے سارے ہی رشتے بہت معتبر اور پیارے ہوں. باوجود سامنے سے ہم ان کے پیچھے سے بھی اتنے ہی مخلص ہوں اس لیے نہیں کہ ایسا رواج کا تقاضا ہے بلکہ یہ بات آپکی تربیت میں شامل ہونے کے ساتھ آپکے تناظرِ ایمانی کا بھی ایک لازمی پہلو ہے مگر مسلسل کوشش کے دوسری جانب معاملہ بر عکس ہو اور آپکو یہ احساس بتدریج دلایا جاتا رہے عملاً اور قولاً کہ تمہارا مقام اور حیثیت ثانوی ہے اور تم بہو ہو. اور تمہارا شیوہ اور فرض ہے ہمارے مطابق چلنا اور بحیثیت ساس میں تمہیں صرف کنٹرول کروں گی اور آف بھی نہیں کہنے کی گنجائش. اور میں چونک تمہاری اصلی ناں نہیں تو مجھ سے امید مت لگاؤ کسی بھی قسم کی. اور آپ کو با رہا یہی احساس دلایا جائے. اور ان کے راج شاہی میں آپ کیسے اپنے اصولوں پر زیادہ عرصہ تک قائم رہ پائیں گے. کیونکہ ان کے ہی زیرِ حکم آپکو سپرد کیا گیا ہے. جن کا اپنے بچوں سے یہ معاملہ ہو کے بیٹیاں اور بیٹا یعنی میرے خاوند انکے بالکل تابعدار نہیں اور آپکی آنکھوں کے سامنے وہ یعنی آپکی ساس خود اپنی والدہ کے ساتھ بہت اچھا برتاؤ نہ کرتی ہوں اور الٹا تربیت اور ماحول کے عدم عدلی کی وجہ سے آپکے خاوند کچھ بلکہ کافی حد تک بری صحبت کا شکار ہو چکے ہوں اور اس عمر میں اب آپکی ساس اس بات پر زیادہ توجہ مرکوز کرنے میں مصروف ہیں کہ کس طرح بہو اور بیٹے کے درمیان تعلقات نا سازگار رہیں جبکہ بہو انکو اپنا بزرگ سمجھتی ہو اور ان سے معاملات درست رکھنے اور سپورٹ کی امید رکھتی ہو کیونکہ بیٹا کافی پریشان رکھتا ہو اپنی بیوی کو. پے در پے زچگی اور اولاد کی پیدائش کے ساتھ اسے سب معاملات میں کسی قسم کی کوئی سپورٹ حاصل نہ ہو اور یہ لوگ معاشرے میں پڑھے لکھے اور کافی معزز مقام پر فائز ہیں اور ساس نے اپنے شادی سے پہلے سے جو ملازمت کر رہی تھیں وہ شادی کے بعد مسلسل برقرار رکھی اور بچوں کو ایک ہارٹ ٹائم ماں کی حیثیت سے پالا. مذہبی طور پر وہ یعنی ساس، نصرانی ہیں اور شادی کے بعد بھی اپنے مذہب پر آج تک قائم ہیں. یہ سب باتیں شادی کے بعد سامنے آئیں. کیونکہ ہم کو یہی بتایا گیا تھا کہ وہ اسلام قبول کر چکی تھیں. اور ماں اپنے بیٹے کو بالکل سرزش نہیں کرتیں بلکہ وہ اپنے مفادات کو زیادہ مقدم رکھتی ہیں. ایسے میں بہو کب تک صبر (برداشت) کرے اور اس کا کیا لائحہ عمل ہونا چاہیے. یا وہ بھی ماحول کے اثر کو قبول کر کے ان کے ساتھ کم سے کم تعلق رکھے مگر ایسے ماحول میں بچوں کی کیا تربیت ہو سکتی ہے اور ہر کوئی صرف ذاتی مفاد کو اہم جانے گا تو کیا ماحول تشکیل پاے گا. ایسی خواتین کیا تربیت کریں گی. بلکہ ساس باقاعدہ طور پر بہو کو نیچا دکھانے میں مصروف ہیں اس کے تربیت کی ساری کوششوں پر طنزیہ باتیں اور وہ سارے کام جو تعلیم و تربیت کے مخالف ہیں ان پر زیادہ توجہ مرکوز کر تی ہیں

Sas some time limits Cross kar jati jo batien ama nai kbi nhi kahi hoti tanay marna etc Tb dil dukhata

Very True!!

Bat to bilkul theek ha sir ki ...mgr zahir ha hr situationmn apply nhi ho gi .... amma ki bat is liy buri nhi lgti q k amma ka dil olad ki taraf sy saf hota ha ... muhabbat ki baten krty krty kabi kabi dant b deti hn .... lekin dono ki muhabbat unhen pir qareeb ly atti ha ... or sasss ny kabi dil mn jaga di hi nhi hoti bahu ko ....

Well done sir

sir can u make some videos on narcisissts??

Thanks

Salam jazakalkaha khair, bachoo ko what's up satuts ko upload kernye kese rookye

Ap us jaga aa hi nae aa sakta So ap ya bat na kra You are not fit in this box

Dear Sir, leave this topic for women speaker. Men can not feel and understand the humiliation and pain of taunting of mother in law, where wife cannot even complain to his husband.

Amaan ki bat b feel kren to us ka kia ilaj hga

Great sir..

Subhan Allah

You cant compare your frnda parent with sas naum ki cheuz.. Khoun ky anso rula deny wali batain agr sasain krain gi tuo tab b ghar wo larki hi basati ha apny jazbat ki kurabni deh kay or apni ezat e nafs ko mjroh krkay wahan beuthi rahy

But this will only work if both parties in a marriage share this view. In our tradition, opinions that apply on a girl and her family aren't the same for the boy and that is where most of our problems arise. The guy and his family are quick to point the deficiencies in the girl and her family but the girl is given no leverage and must fit into this impossible mould of the "perfect life partner"

Sas mah ni bnti

bachaun se ghalati hugai to maan uski pakad karti hai aur eslah bhi karti hai par saas nahi use dill pe leti aur tane tanz shuro kardeti hai sir badle pe tulewi huwi rahti hai

brother there is no dought you have good intentions and wanted to spread a positive msg.however we should also consider that the fact that in pakistani society more and more man coming up and making videos on such topics easy for a man to pass messages about who is a good wife, a good daughter in law and a good women , though you have limited experience of how a women feels and experiences things, A mother never taunts,she prefers your treatment when you are sick ,which in most cases an other way round from MIL. today ,when wife do job as bread earner and takes cares of home as well and our society can not upgrade brains to facilitate, so add all perspectives in your msgs.hopefully majority of man will like comment with praise for this type of videos

Super Sir Super

Sir plz ye btain aap logo k saath seeday ho to wo aapki choti choti baat ker k Persian kertay hai I.. khud jesay dhood k dhulay hon.. plz aisay logo ka kiya keratin…

Allah sb ko hidayat dy

Sir saas n bahu ke khush gawar talluq kaise bnaye ??guide me dijye..,q ke Gali ke larke ke Abba raat din sath nahi rehte the hamare but saas ke sath har waqt ka rehna ..nand ke sath rehne ke liye guide kr dihye

Agar saas akaily main samjhain tu baho bhi maa ki jaga samajh ker sunti hai laikin agar saas sub k saamnay samjhain ya akailay main baitay say kahay k allah karay k bacho k ikhlaq tmharay jaisay hn tu phir baho saas ko kiya samjhay gi ? Maa ya phir shohar ka us k liay dil kharab karnay wali ? Her husband and wife k terms itnay achay nahain hotay k bahar key batoon say talluqat kharab na hn

But sir I beg to disagree with you the inlaws culture here is quite cruel. And baat Dil per lainay ki nai hai...but people cross the limits and it too difficult to survive in toxicity.

It depends on the situation.

Sas k lehjy m r maa k lehjy m difference hota hy

When MIL manipulates husband to that extent ki wife feels like an extra and unwanted object or a working maid and they do not include the girl in their family and want she leave her family and friends. What to do??

Thats right my mom never said anything to me 😢

bilkul nahi, amma aesay baat nahi karteen!

Aesa kch nhi hota sir saas baho ko insaan bhi samjh ly to bohot barri baat hai

I liked your videos sir, may be if you are don't care but I am not agreed with you, pre marriage counseling should be for all in laws also for compulsory because everybody teach a girl how to live with in laws and how to tolerate them, why not in laws training how to care newlyweds who become your family member, she need space she need respect, she need love and happiness. Please little think about it.

I would disagree, because mom have a special relation with their daughters, nd sometimes ur own mother becomes toxic too, so with due respect, tgis is not acceptable,.

Jazakallahan

Maayen apni betion ki hr any jany waly k 7 chughli ni krti

Hum saas ko maa jesa nahu samajh sakte jese saas bahu ko beti jesa nahi samajh saktin. Ye nature k khilaaf hai.

Ammi say things with love not as tauntsm

Farak hota ha Jb taunt mara to feel hota ha But try to not take it seriously

Kissi se bhi expectations nahi rakhna chahiye ...aur shikwa nahi rakhna chahiye Jaza ki umeed Allah se rakho .. Insaano ko maaf kiya karo unki psychology samjh ker ... I sm saying from my experience..itna mushkil nahi hai.

not agree with you.

Ab marriage perspective bohut kharab hochuka hai Ishi wajah sab takelef ka shikaar hain

Yahan to mard nay nikkah ki shart he yahi rakhi hoti hai pehli rat k meray patents khush to mai khush. Kuch saso ka to masla hai k jesay baho nay beta nahiahi balke aos ka husband lia ho. Sokan ki terha treat karti hein . Mian bv baher b nahi nekal saktay. I hate husband like this who dont know balnce beteeen parents n bv . Aesi saso say Allah sab ki jan choraye ameen

Aap kay abbo nay aap ko maara bhi hoga aur daanta bhi hoga, abb agar aap kay sussar bhi aap ko maarain toh kia aap bardasht karain gay?

Bat jumlun ki nhi hoti bat niyat ki hoti h.amman lakh galiya de de wo apko nuqsan nhi pohanchana chahti.apko takleef me dekh k khush nhi hoti.apki pains ko celebrate nhi krti.unfortunately saas me ye sb dekhne ko bar bar milta h

Allah e hadiyat dy

Maa to jadu tona nai karte apni beti aur damad ka divorce hojaye. Meri SaaS ne keya huva hy. SaaS ko Maa bolnaysay Maa nai banjayege. Mera maika iss jadu may belive nai kartay. To Mai ne Allah par chod deya hy Meri aur shohar k rishta ka.

Don't agree with you,Saad ma'am jaisa piyar kahan daiti hay?

Ap friends or husband main kis Tara farak kar rahay hain

Maire ammi ne to kabhi dantta hi nahi tha mujhy .har kaam ammi hi karte then .or shade k bad patta chala k ghr k kaam kiya hoty hen .apny abba k ghr hum ne agar kam nahi kiya to koae tanna sunny ko nahi mila or susral mai to bas ab kiya bolon

MA sir, we need more of these. Another side of picture.

*Very good information, dear team kindly improve video graphic quality*

No doubt erdc is doing a great work..but here I don't agree with you..kash aap mard log ki widai hoti aur aap logo ko apne parents ko chhod k kahi aur basna padta aur phir sare ghar k kam bhi karne padte aur phir tane bhi sunne padte aur phir koi aa k ye taqreer karta k aap apni saas ko thoda margin dijiye..to phir hamara masla samajh me aata..aise to aaplog ko samajh me ane se raha