Jeremy: "I know nothing about the books." Apparently nether did Disney.

Everyone: “Last Airbender was the worst live action remake” Disney: *_”There is another...”_*

They definitely "made it kid friendly" Artemis fowl in the books was totally ok with cutting someone's finger off to unlock a door and then re-attaching it

In the books, it is revealed he's constantly wearing mirrored contract lenses that allow him to see, but reflect their magic. He's legitimately smart in the books and does smart things.

The 9% is how accurate the movie is to the books

As someone who read the books as a kid... This movie is straight garbage.

I love how Jeremy hasn't read the books and yet he's dead right about how they were adapted.

In the books Artemis is a genius who actually orchestrates the entire story.

My 8 year old child said immediately after the movie was over “ this movie was terrible.” My 8 year son loves everything.

When Jeremy bring out the apple juice instead of coffee you know shit’s getting real.

I love how Jeremy used to wear a blazer with no drink. And now he’s in a robe and is drinking “apple juice”

It's funny how Disney took a kids book and thought the story needed to be "kid friendly".

The end of the movie was basically that sailor moon meme lol. "I'm Artemis Fowl, criminal Mastermind." "But you (mostly) didn't do anything criminal throughout the whole movie, despite that being your character trait." *Credits roll*

If Jeremy's hair gets much longer, he's going to start looking like John Wick

that bit in the end where Artemis and Holly were like “fOrEvEr FrIeNdS” that literally made me throw up because Holly and Artimis hate each other in the books. He literally captured her then like 5 minutes later everyones hugging and fighting and hugging

“Artemis:” I’m a criminal mastermind Me: No, you’re not.

"Oh hell, you too?!" - Percy Jackson and Eragon

Honestly it’s been a privilege watching the journey of your quarantine hair as it progresses to glorious lions mane.

The books are honestly great. Book Artemis doesn’t learn all this shit from his dad. Book Artemis’ dad has been freezing in Russian for the past two years. It was Artemis who discovers the fae, translates their language on his own with no reference whatsoever, sets a trap to capture Holly, holds her hostage for days (if not weeks, it’s been a while since I read the book) against the best and the brightest of the fae (which are very strong and have both magic and tech he’s never even dreamed about), then outsmarts them once again to get out of an impossible trap of a timestop and a bio-bomb to keep the ransom they paid for her. Yeah, Artemis Fowl is a very smart character. That was NOT Artemis Fowl. This book was written perfectly to be adapted into an awesome, complex movie (also containing important themes like sexism, environmentalism and the such in a way that isn’t preachy or boring), but Disney had to go and turn it into another cardboard cutout of a children’s movie.

Book: A really well passed story about evil child genius trying to screw with bunch of techno-wizards with revolving POV characters, all with hidden agendas and special powers. Movie: Aparently nothing about that...

Apple juice drinking, F bomb dropping, bathrobe wearing, Grown out, Quarantined Jeremy Jahns is my favorite Jahns 😂

A "smart" character is only as smart as the people writing them.

I'd say disney lucked out this wasn't released in theaters like it originally supposed to

"Little more apple juice... Oh, now that's way too much... Alright, I'm gonna head off to enjoy my apple juice." I almost lost it right then. That was some funny shit.

Jeremy: "I know nothing about the books." Disney: "Same buddy. Same"

the one thing i remember from reading this book when i was younger is how artemis is a straight up ruthless criminal and somehow disney managed to water his character down completely and make him a hero of sorts???

Disney can't get one live-action adaptation right, their either "fine" or just miserable to sit through. Nothing is ever substantially GOOD.

This movie should have been rated r and executed in a dark grim humorous fashion

I love how he knew that they wanted Artemis to appear more relatable and friendly. In the books he begins as the villian!!! He is the mastermind doing hurtful things. It takes books to unpack his motivations(which were to save his parents with the wealth he gained) and have him grow and have friends. Making Artemis stuck in this scheme of opal and his dad removes his genius of learning the elves existing and being the first human to ever outsmart the elves and work around their technology in ways they didn't even know possible. In this movie he is reactive, the books he is the sole actor and mastermind. It was doomed to fail when he became the pawn in the first movie.

Quarantine Jeremy is my favorite Jeremy.

When the review is better then the movie.

Jeremy REALLY needs to keep with this look. Starting to look like a badass.

Sounds like Jeremy's review had a more interesting story than this movie.

Jeremy: Don't worry, it's apple juice. **Spoilers** It's not.

as time passes, jeremy gets closer and closer to being The Dude. the jeff bridges vibe is strong in this one.

"I've never read the books so I'm going into this fresh" *inward wincing* The books are sooo good, read em!

I never read the books but given the pitch for them was literally "Die Hard with Fairies and the main character is the Hans Gruber of the story" I am still mad on behalf of book readers they made this watered down piece of crap.

This movie makes me concerned about the Percy Jackson adaptation.

I really was expecting an apple juice bottle when he said, “more apple juice.”

“I abhor the sensation of having my time wasted.” Very aptly put!

My naive ass actually believed that was apple juice in his cup 😂

I love the fact the Jeremy NEVER knows the books yet everyone still respects his reviews. Now that’s the shit!

Fans: they didnt follow the books at all! Disney: whats a book?

Maybe the reason they couldn’t do the books is because they would need to bring in the Russian Mafia and that would insult Disney’s investors

"Chill out, KZfaq. It's just apple juice." I love this guy!!! Lol

“Make it better apple juice...” the dodge ball sound was on point 😂😂

I honestly felt like the money spent on this movie was a waste😫😫

“Chill out KZfaq it’s just apple juice.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Slight book spoilers below: When I saw Disney was gonna be doing this I already knew they were gonna muck it up. For the first book (or two, depending on how you look at it), Artemis isn't really the good guy. He's really the main antagonist of the story at first and only later on does he sort of transition into a more heroic and helpful figure. That's the biggest difference right out of the box. Oh and his dad not being involved with fairies in any way, shape or form. Or really involved much at all, actually. The first book did take place almost entirely at his house, but it was a tense thriller because he was, well, the bad guy. We didn't really know his motives. We didn't really know his plan. Butler, while loyal, is a tad bit uneasy with how dark he thinks Artemis is going to go. It isn't really until Opal becomes a full-fledged villain in her own right and gets somewhat obsessed with screwing over Artemis (and the world) that he moves into a more heroic pattern of stopping her (though usually with an angle to benefit himself, too). What a waste. This could have been a fantastic movie series.

I’ll never understand Disney. Hey, we don’t know if this book will land and appeal to a bunch of people so we’ll make our own thing that we know doesn’t appeal to people. Come on guys, at least take the risk so you have a chance of winning.

The Irish accents in this film make Tom Cruises accent in Far and Away seem plausible.

I feel like I’m gonna see this movie on jeremys worst movies of 2020

Jeremy looks like he’s slowly going insane with every review

The hair, the bathrobe, the apple juice....I’m legitimately concerned for Keanu Reeve’s nerd brother...Lmao! Get. It. Together. Jahns. 😂😅

As this other person coincidentally named Jeremy said: "The books don't matter."

The best thing to come out of this movie are the reviews

"I know nothing about the books" Neither did the writers

Love how Jeremy's been morphing into an amalgamation of John Wick and The Dude 😂

My cat was named after Artemis Fowl Yeah he’s a disappointment too

What the book is: "Die Hard with fairies" What we wanted: A 12 year-old Irish Hans Gruber that actually gets his gold What we got: A bizarre mix of the most boring parts of Home Alone and Darby O'Gill

When jeremyjahns talks like the Disney executive, it reminds me of the Disney executive from the warpzone

I thought I would give that movie a chance, because: "it couldn't be that bad, right?". Well... After 10 minutes they messed up with do many important plot points I couldn't contain myself. I stopped the movie and started ranting to my boyfriend. Now I really need to read the books again to feel better :(

So many wrong things. Potential book spoilers. •Artemis is a "good guy" surprised at his father's criminal acts. •Artemis' father stole things to keep the lower elements (fairy world) a secret. •Opal Koboi appears before the Arctic Incident. The second book. •Root is a woman negating Holly's entire character arc of being the 1st female recon officer. •Holly and Mulch are allies of Artemis even though Artemis was supposed to kidnap Holly for a ransom of a literal ton of gold and Mulch was brought in to rescue her. •No ritual performed by Holly or underlying message about why the Lower Elements exists and the fairies connections to nature that humanity is destroying forcing the fairies underground. •Apparently Briar Cudgeon is already a bad guy when he wasn't until the Arctic Incident. •Some kind of fairy ships are on the surface world even though their secrecy is one of their core rules. •Artemis' mother is dead so we don't see her lose her mind and show Artemis' good side by worrying about her and giving back HALF the ransom gold to cure her. •No grand siege of Fowl Manor where we see Artemis routinely outsmart the LEP at every turn. I'm sure there's more but these are the ones I know of.

The trio of bad adaptations The last Airbender, Percy Jackson, and now Artemis Fowl Edit: I looked at the comments and I totally forgot about so many which really isn’t a good sign

Jahns is in full, drunk, quarantine mode. And by apple juice, he means Apple Crown.

Artemis Fowl is like an old enemy you once thought dead but came back with a vengeance

Jeremy looks like Bruce Wayne in the Dark Knight Rises.

From the words of ScreenRant’s “Pitch Meeting” Artemis Fowl is super smart and intelligent, don’t worry that’s “super easy, barely any inconvenience”.

You know it's gonna be a roast when the thumbnail is just Jeremy looking vaguely unhinged

Second Disney movie that Jeremy Jahns reviewed with the rating of Dogcrap. First was The Nutcracker and the Four Realms.

Jeremy looks like he is in the final season of the show about his life.

Jeremy rocking that scruffy Wolverine haircut from X Men Origins.....

2:23 as a lover of the Artemis Fowl books, and apple juice...I feel your pain!

JEREMY! You just made my Thursday morning hilarious! (I only watch these reviews because of your comedy!)

He’s been drinking apple juice in that glass the whole time. I’ve been fooled

As soon as I heard the idea behind the movie I thought “I should read that”. Why didn’t disney think the same?

I haven’t watch your vids in a while, oh my what a transformation the quarantine has done to you!

Loving the quarantine look there jeremy

"Make it better apple juice." Genuinely one of the best reviews Jeremy has done in ages.

Jeremy approaching Endgame Thor

I think that was your funniest intro in a long time, omg! The robe, glass, and hair (still looking good, though) all just nail the "ffs"-ness of it all.

I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. Thank you Jeremy!

Amazon: The Vast of Night Netflix: Da 5 Blood Disney+: Artemis Fowl

Jeremy wearing his robe should tell you enough.

Scrolling through Jeremys videos and seeing the progression of his hair through the thumbnails made my 2020 survivable

I couldn’t stop staring at your second mustache.

I’m honestly amazed they could screw up a movie so bad with source material like Artemis fowl

I loved the books as a kid, and so I must consider this movie a hate crime.

Movie Holly: You know Arty, maybe I was wrong about you. You're actually so sweet. Do you want to be friends? Book Holly: *punches him* I hate you so much you little bastard.

I finished the book yesterday and rewatched the trailer and now I can see why everyone is so mad

I like how comfortable you seem talking to the camera, especially when compared to your older vids where you still have the same excitement and enthusiasm for what you're doing but you seem like anyone would be restricted by what you think you're allowed or not allowed to do. It's nice seeing you enjoying that apple juice not caring because it translates even to just how you give your arguments and opinions and really makes your personality stand out more than a lot of what you're saying. I read the books and I still don't remember a thing you said about them, I'm just amused to have found a KZfaqr who seems so real. Take care and stay safe!

I find it hilarious how such sweeping changes were made to the characters of Commander Root and Butler for the sake of diversity, yet they somehow missed the fact that in the book Holly Short is described as having dark, nut-brown skin.

I thought I was already subscribed lol your dodgeball sounds killed me by the way

As a fan of the books, I honestly liked it. Not how Artemis was portrayed, but everything else was pretty good.

Kenneth Branagh already admitted some time ago that most of the changes to the book were his idea, so this pretty much is the Branagh Cut.

Jeremy should've praised the story line, character arcs, action sequence ect, and then revealed at the end that he was reviewing the book because the movie was dogshit.

Ooh Glenlivet 15!! My absolute favourite.... apple juice!

Looooool Jeremy that was brilliant. KO alway watch your review before I seat down and watch film. So thanks for the heads up lol

I need “make it better Applejuice” on a shirt😂

This movie translated to the books as much as the Percy Jackson movies related to the books. To say, other than in name, yeah there's nothing.