I hope Janet discovers a caring partner who can truly grasp her emotional needs. While I don't want to make assumptions about her past relationship, I can relate from past relationships where it can be quite painful when you attempt to express yourself emotionally, only to have your partner respond with simplicity and logic or become emotionally dismissive during disagreements. It's often not about personally understanding your partner's feelings or stepping into their shoes, but rather about acknowledging their perspective and accepting their emotions as valid. Communication is ineffective without mutual comprehension

"Yes, I talk about wanting to be married and yes, I talk about wanting a family. And I do want those things. But I don't think that I need them to have a happy life"

I just love listening to Janet talk. She's so well spoken!

Phew… rewatching this as I just turned 30 and fell out of a decade long relationship with someone I thought I’d marry. Feeling lost and scared. I remember my last major breakup I leaned heavily into Mel’s breakup episode and now I get to go through this journey with Janet 😅. Forever thankful for this podcast y’all are truly my older sisters❤

Thank you so much for your willingness to share, Janet! I am sure it was not easy. Sending lots of love and pls take care of yourself!!!

Thank you for sharing your story Janet. Glad you are able to reflect on your experience. Sending you lots of love! 💕

Thank you for sharing Janet! I hope you take the time for yourself. Vulnerable is a strength that I see and I really appreciate you sharing your story. It is empowering to hear you talk

Thanks for sharing this! So transparent and love it!

Thank you for being so vulnerable with us ! Sending much love to you Janet

Janet!! Sending you lots of hugs! Thank you for being so vulnerable BUT ALSO for being such a strong and graceful role model ❤ I appreciate all of the positive energy you send out and we need more people like you in the world! You absolutely didn't need to share something so personal and difficult publicly to us. But I appreciate you doing so and for being so open about your learnings and reflections 🙏

Janet, thank you for choosing to share your story! I really admire you for that. Most people only share the success stories and not the hard parts.

Janet thanks for sharing something so personal and so raw. I really admire your courage to pick yourself especially at your age and to not settle because you want a family and kids. It might take a little longer but I’m sure the guy you eventually find will be the closest to perfect for you ❤️

Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable, Janet! ❤

thank you for sharing, Janet. the three of you have modeled for me genuine, vulnerable, considerate, caring, and responsible conversation. thank you :)

Enjoyed this, thanks for sharing and sending you lots of love Janet 💞💕💞💕

There's no timeline for any relationship, and laying that out at the start is great. Your vulnerability shows how strong you are, Janet. Thank you for sharing!

Janet, you are very strong and brave. I appreciate you for being so open about your life. While i’m younger what you’re going through is something I sometimes think about.. and it’s comforting to know i’m not alone (from reading the comments too).

Crazy how so many people in my life are going through similar breakups! This helped me so much! Thank you for being vulnerable and open with us Janet! Gave me chills! :' :'

Thank you Janet for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I know it wasn’t easy, but I really appreciate your thought process and positive outlook. You are so beautiful, inside and out and I know when the time is right you will meet someone again someday! Take care of yourself and do the things you love! Sending you hugs 🤗 💗xoxo

Janet, thank you for being vulnerable with us!

I’ve been in your shoes before. I really resonated with what you said about maintaining your independence. It’s so easy for women to lose themselves in a relationship compared to men. I hope you take comfort in knowing that it will feel so much better when you come back to yourself and you’re on the other side and “fully healed.”

You're all so articulate in explaining your thoughts. This podcast is intense and engaging.

Janet you're so well spoken and kind - not easy to speak about a newly ended relationship (publicly) and you've articulated it in the most respectful way. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your personal life and insightful thoughts on relationships "in a time crunch" - super relatable. Sending you so much love!!

Thank you for sharing Janet! The thing that came to mind when I listened was that with partners, we have to confront differences with a) change (that is, can we change this behavior) b) acceptance (can I be in this with you even if we differ on xyz) or c) ending things because it's not a/b. So key and hearing your experience reminded me of this lesson. I'm so glad you know yourself well enough to see those signs. I know the grief will be hard for a while, and thats okay. You got this 💛

Thank you for sharing this with us Janet ❤❤

I’m going through a breakup with similar feelings. It’s really hard to feel like no matter how much xyz, we weren’t compatible. Thank you for your wise words Janet❤

the incompatibility between needed to compartmentalize issues vs needing to address them off the cusp is very relatable. for one party it feels like they need time to process but on the other side it feels like a lie not to address stuff. tough place to not meet up cause u both ultimately want it fixed.

I appreciate your honesty. When I see you Janet, I see a beautiful, confident and amazing woman!!

Thank you Janet for opening up about your personal life. You are truly stronger than you think. Love yourself and live your life happy no matter what comes your way. Hugs to you Janet. I love watching this podcast.

Janet, I think you are such an inspiration for being so vulnerable and courageous. Once again, you've shown us how to be a badass Asian boss girl by showing up authentically and sharing your stories to allow for connection with others. Thank you so much, and I'm sending you so much love and many hugs ♥

Sending love and hugs to you, Janet. You are such a strong, amazing, well-spoken, kind, and smart woman. I hope you will find the right person soon.I love you all, the trio .

"What's meant for you will not pass you by" - claiming this for myself, thank you for these wise words of hope and your vulnerability to tell your story, Janet! Breakups are never easy but through it you find a piece of yourself you're meant to carry on to the right person and the right relationship (and it IS coming!)

💖💖💖 Thank you Janet for your vulnerability, sending love to you!

You’re so courageous for sharing this Janet - and you did it with so much class & compassion too! ❤

Janet you are such an amazing person, thank you for sharing 😢

Sending so much love, healing, and stability to Janet! Anddd, paris bucketlist?!

Loved this episode so much. Janet we appreciate you so much for being vulnerable and brave for sharing your breakup with us. You are an amazing person and you’re correct “what is right for you won’t pass you by”. ❤

Break ups are never easy. This is very raw and emotional for Janet. Hang in there. Find the silver lining from this experience. As an ABG listener for a few years now, Janet has grown emotionally. She'll come out of this a lot stronger. Take a trip. Come up to Utah! Ha. Lean on your friends.

Breakups are very hard. I admire the courage you have to share your story to strangers, as I understand it’s 1000x easier to keep it private and you have no obligation to share a status update. As a fan I’m sad it didn’t work out, but as someone who’s been through my share of relationship struggles I’m sure you made the right decision for yourselves, and not give in to pressures.

Best time to go to a rave 😤 ty Janet 4 being so vulnerable

Thank you Janet for sharing your experience with us! You don’t know how this video really helps me. I could relate so much to this episode, thank you. And stay positive! 🫶🏼

Janet’s reflection is very balanced and understanding. Rooting for you Janet!

thank you Janet for being so vulnerable and brave. i'm also in my thirties, and I've come to realize that there are actually a lot more single people than those in relationships -- and that's okay. I love my singleness. I also noticed you've been more stylish with your wardrobe lately :) you look FABULOUS!

We’re rooting for you Janet! You are so beautiful and inspiring, and everything will fall into place naturally for you when the right person comes along. I love what you said about “purpose” and leaving a legacy, and how that may look different for each individual, whether it be through having kids or influencing the next generation through your messaging and accomplishments. You have already left a legacy as an individual by sharing your experiences in relationships and showing current and future generations on how to cope and handle your relationships.❤❤❤❤

Thank you for sharing this with us Janet. Your strength and positivity inspire me. Take care! ❤

Thank you for sharing ❤

I’m also going through a breakup of a serious 2.5 yr relationship right now and I’m in my thirties. We seemed to have an avoidant-anxious attachment together so it was tiring on both sides to try to communicate and get through tough times as a unit. He tended to keep all of this feelings to himself and bring them up when it was already too much and he’s made his mind up, whereas I cannot hide my emotions so everything that bothered me was talked about within 24 hrs. So because of that and he had less emotional bandwidth than I did, he broke up with me, and there was nothing I could do to fix it because his mind was made up. I’m still reeling from it and accepting that we could have still fixed things if he had communicated his feelings when they started and I had been able to shift our dynamic away from the heavy discussions for a while. I cared more about this man than any other man I’ve known and it’s hard to accept the breakup, especially because I truly think we were not in a dead-end, but he felt like the relationship was becoming too much stress…anyways, just wanted to let you know I am going through the thick of it with you right now 💕 you’re not alone in starting over and trying to process why it ended.

thank you for sharing your journey with us! and pls know that it has brought me (and im sure, others) a lot of comfort and healing energy. take care

Thank you for sharing your love journey with us Janet 💕 I'm 38 years old and just recently went through a break up too, and for many similar reasons like you described... fundamental differences and having a hard time just making it work. My best friends were saying too that it shouldn't be this difficult so early on in the relationship! Well... I dove in and found out that that's probably true 😂 no ragrats though! here's to the next part of life's adventures Janet 🥂✨️

Sending Janet good vibes! 💗

Janet, thank you for your vulnerability. You’re like a big sis I look up to as i’ve always admired your eloquence and emotional intelligence…I love how you are going to invest your time in yourself, and building up that confidence 💪🏻 we’re here to support you!!! Sending you lots of love 🩵🩵

Omg I’m here 5 months later but PLEASE TAKE THE HEELS CLASS! I took that as an empowerment/distraction during a big break up and it CHANGED MY LIFE! Pulled out sooo much womanhood, confidence, joyful discomfort! Plus the friendships in those classes are amazing! A lot of us are going through some shit there ahahah

big hugs janet!! rooting for you

Thanks for sharing your story, Janet❤ You're truly an inspiration.

Thank you so much Janet for sharing. You are an awesome person!!

Thank you for sharing @Janet. When both successfully married and divorced couples were asked what is the key to a successful marriage, divorced couples said "communication" and successfully married couples said "respect". I feel like this is true especially in today's couples therapy predominant thinking that you just need to get people to talk but really both people need to fundamentally be ready to respect each other's "otherness".

All the love and prayers for you Janet.

I also had a breakup in my four year long relationship in august :( stay strong Janet

My wife and I are absolute polar opposites and she constantly complains that I don't communicate well and she also finds it difficult that I can't understand her. Admitedly she is a deep person. Myself with my male brain can't understand her quite often. And we don't try to completely understand each other because you can't, it's impossible. What has made it work so far is that we grasp and treasure the little things that we find precious in each other, not to dwell on the things that doesn't work but treasure the things that has made it work and to move forward.

My red flag for him was when he said he could be a dick to people at work in the episode with the couples. I got the sense that he isn’t a very kind person but I don’t know him so I didn’t want to make any judgments. Janet is so respectful and thoughtful, hope for much healing ❤

Thank you Janet🤍

I remember I was telling this girl I used to like something very private about me over the phone and the whole time she had her friend in the background giggling while I was on speaker phone. I knew after that phone call I would never call her again and I didn't. When you lose trust in the person, that's a good sign.

thank you for sharing guys i just discovered this channl cuz of wongfu lol but the experience you guys have shared about relationships has been so inprising for others to learn and grow! keep it up with the awesome work! thank you for being so vlunerable

Thank you Janet 🥺

Throwing this out there as I’m someone who, like Janet, loves deep conversations and being verbose while a potential partner can’t meet me on that level…I’ve chalked it up to differences in Myers Briggs. As an Intuitive (ENFP) I find that Sensing types (which make up 70% of the population) can’t fully understand me and why I enjoy those things. But over time, I’m learning to appreciate how Sensors can pull me out of my head and force me to live in the moment more which ultimately does make me happier even if my default is to ruminate on every hypothetical situation that likely won’t happen. But it can feel invalidating sometimes when they don’t take my concerns seriously. I’m thinking that maybe I don’t need to have deep conversations all the time with my partner… that’s what my friends are for. But learning to also not demonize Sensors for their inability to connect deeply but appreciate for the positives of staying in the moment. But it remains to be seen if this is sustainable in a relationship. 😅

Hug to you Janet. Thanks for sharing

Janet, just want to let you know that you and your voice have helped me through tough times. Don’t ever stop what you’re doing ❤

As a male viewer and having 31 years, it's never a picnic. Every couple/relationship is different and both partners must address the bottom line, is being together better than being alone. Relationships are hard are tough, but marriage is an even bigger commitment, especially for women (I suggest never changing a woman's last name, especially for a professional. I.D., Professional certification is a hassle). Just remember a relationship is different from marriage, which gets more complicated, especially if children are involved. It's a great pain.

Following Janet’s love journey is better than watching any movie, drama, sitcom, etc. Hopefully there’s a happy ending

i relate to janet's personality so much and love how she articulates her thoughts and feelings. thank you for sharing and sending good vibes!! 💓

New subscriber here, thanks for sharing Janet! Breakups suck, especially when you thought you’d share your future plans with the person, I agree hindsight is 20/20 ❤

I don't know if this was mentioned before but it seems like their lives and dreams converged for this short but intense journey, but ultimately she has her dreams and goals and he has his. It's difficult for a relationship to have two set of dreams/goals. I think the different communication styles grew into the problem that it became because of them ultimately having two different paths to take. It's not something that can be compromised, one would have to give up on his/hers in order to support the other on his/her road. But they both probably worked so hard to get to where they are now, it's hard to just give it up even though they are older in the dating world. For a lucky few, they end up having all and the career and relationship lives work out like a fairytale. For most everyone else, the reality is like she mentioned "a lot of work for something sub-par". Which is in another word: settling. And most of the world has to be ok with settling if they want both the career and relationship.

Janet already has a true sense of self. She will continue to put herself first and seek her own happiness first and foremost. Not a lot of women do that. We have a lot to learn from Janet. ❤

Wow this was such a great episode! Janet is super articulate about why the relationship ended and so cordial about the other person. Wishing you all the best and hope the next relationship is everything you want, need and hope it will be! Also, all 3 of you are amazing people!

The friendship between you 3 is beautiful. Not to reduce it in any way, but your dynamic reminds me of what initially made Sex & the City great and even groundbreaking. Women who were different in personality who were supportive of each other, insightful, and bright. The questions asked of Janet were really great. And Janet’s answers were wonderful too. Thanks for sharing. As a deep feeler and thinker myself, I could relate.

Not all breaks are bad.

Thank you Janet❤❤❤ You are so great. GAMAN.

I love your channel.

Janet ~ you're the reason why I keep up with ABG, you're a class act and I love your personality. I've followed for a while and you've never looked a day over 30, wishing you nothing but peace & happiness❤

Found this on youtube recommended and like the episode, but don't agree with the quote at the end, "What's meant for you will not pass you by", in the sense that it connotates that you don't need to do anything. Maybe a quote where you have more control over your fate like, “I'm a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” -Thomas Jefferson.

Janetttt you should go to Civana!

Love is a game of 2 not 1. Play it as a team to make things happen and if one isn't then it time to move on. Why cause one isn't open minded to play along and wants things their way. I too being on a long term relationship and wasted so much money and time just to be bloke because she didn't realize I was trying to help her with her life and with no money to see her until the last year I had enough save up but it was too late she cheated on me all those long year because I never went to see her.

can someone post the timestamp of when she talks about kids / freezing eggs

being perpetually unhappy is a huge red flag

Love u Janet

Respect to you, Janet

Why did you guys break up?4:25

Janet, i felt the same way dating an accountant. That's when i knew i wanted someone with more EQ. Eg. Someone in healthcare field or more right-brained jobs (eg. Pharmacist, physio, creative content creator, etc)... More empathy

Why didn't Melody or Helen let Janet stay at their places (1 month in each) tf?

I'm 44. I'm looking for someone like Janet or similar.

"What is meant for you will not pass you by"

❤

I know what you mean.

wait they seemed so in love 3 months ago

There is nothing wrong with you Janet!

Janet is very articulate. She knows how to convert thoughts and emotions into words very well.

❤❤

❤❤❤

This lady is so beautiful! Janet u deserve the best, stay true xxxx

no flame but how was this janets most serious relationship at 38? shes such an attractive person guys would line up for her