“I’m going to choke this candle out!” 😂😂😂…you are SO MUCH my type of human!!!!❤❤❤

I've experienced depersonalization derealization disorder before which is what this sounds like (not a doctor). It's scary on a deeper level because you feel so out of body, it's like you are playing a role in a movie, acting out life, but not really present and there. As someone recovering from a panic attack disorder and greatly acquainted with my amygdala, your feelings are valid and I promise it gets easier over time! I found that something that makes things feel better is explaining some of your feelings to people at the place of work. You don't have to express everything to everyone, but sometimes simply voicing these feelings that you are extremely nervous because you care so much and want to do a great job will ease the pressure, and they will appreciate how much you want to do well. From my experience, keeping those feelings inside and hidden from others can make you want to dissociate more. You got this! Thanks for another relaxing video and being open about your struggles, as it does genuinely make others who experience this feel heard and less lonely! Good luck :)

I love how consistently authentic and comfortable you are in your videos. The thunder made a great guest appearance in this one, lowkey! I feel that with the performance anxiety though, it’s really tough to manage, especially with unknown experiences; I just convince myself it won’t be the end of the world and I’ll learn from it but sometimes you just have to fight through it 💪🏼

this may sound weird but i literally just love your vibe and the way you are as a person! you seem like so connected to the world and yourself and you have so much self awareness. i feel like your ability to change negative thoughts into positive mindsets is so admirable. also, the asmr is really good haha

Also I wanted to add I have the same anxiety at work sometimes. I’m a server for a restaurant and when you’re always being around people, you disassociate a little. You aren’t alone.

Imposter syndrome is totally normal when you're just getting into your career, it's scary but every day you will continue to grow more comfortable 🎉

Also when you talk about "the little things" stressing you out, this is also suuuuper normal for someone new in the professional world, you'll very quickly develop "soft skills" that will make navigating these kinds of situations soooo much easier 😊 I was just like this when I started my first office IT job, every step I took felt wrong and made me question everything.. keep at it, every day you will grow into it, it's like new shoes

Yaay new video🤩 lovely to see you as always Calcifer ASMR😍 sending love and happy vibes your way❤ have a good day/night❤❤❤

i have been dealing with similar things, working on it with my therapist and its definitely not easy, but it becomes manageable with time. i hope you can find some peace in between all the anxiousness, because you deserve it!

another beautiful video

I know those feelings well and you articulated them accurately. It shouldn't feel like we are dying just because we are experiencing a new environment with unfamiliar people and unknown expectations, but it does. It feels really embarrassing when the body is reacting so dramatically to what seems like a normal, chill situation. My mother dropped me off at kindergarten when I was almost 5 years old. She couldn't stay longer than to say goodbye as she had to work. I was late and walked alone into a quiet room filled with unfamiliar kids sitting on the floor before a teacher all looking at me. I tried really hard not to react but I was scared and started crying. It was humiliating. Too many unknowns. Nobody threatened me, but I didn't feel safe. There is a condition called Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and I can relate to that. Perhaps this is similar to what you feel. I think this is why so many people self-medicate. It's very painful. I am most comfortable when alone or with a kind, familiar person and there is little chance of failure. I wish you well in learning your new position despite the discomfort. It could turn out to be something you look back at with great appreciation for how much it helped you in some way. Thank you for sharing.

Can’t let gang know I fw this

Been having a bad day for like two years but we out here ✌

I love how open you are in your videos. Going through how you handle your emotions gives others the power to do that same. Your make up does not look like “dog”. 😂 keep us up to date on any positives that will be coming your way because you sure as heck deserve it girl!

wooooo what a rollercoaster of a video! i can’t imagine what it was really like, but hopefully the experience has gotten better for you. i have to admit that i cracked up when it cut to you after the phone died 😂

Listening to this while going on a run🖤

My life isn't ideal. This day is a testament to it

Its never a bad day when you upload ❤

i relate to you so much lol. Your rambling videos are amazing

Heyyy these is my first time watching a video of yours but you seem very sweet and i wanted to say that i hope you are doing better. A thought that i think is a little comforting is that it can't get worse, you got though the first day. You are doing your best at keep going despite all these feelings, hope you believe it.

Omg I’m what you’re talking about u was going through the dpdr for like 5+ months but everything does get better i promise &(mines came from a weed panic attack tho really scary I thought I was about to die lol)

I don’t know if I want to be you or be with you 😭🙄 your voice is angelic ✨✨

My dad gave me some good advice about starting a new job: "Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question.......................... Unless you've been there for a year, in which case, it will be a stupid question. And please keep that to yourself".

It does sound like disassociation of some kind. I've had it a few times - I describe it like viewing the world through a goldfish bowl on your head. I'm in therapy at the moment for anxiety, and it's been a wonderful experience. It's something I highly recommend if you've got the means to do it, but I know that part can be tough. I don't know if your internship is paid or not, but even if it is, I think the way to look at an internship is something for you to absorb as much as you can. You can free yourself from the pressure that you need to be as productive as a proper employee, cos you're not. The primary purpose is your education. Hope you sleep well!

Thank you very much for the beautiful video, it was so relaxing, just good.

Did you choke on a candle in this video? I loved your voice and glasses definitely made a subscription !!!

I feel like I’ve been going through this not a bad life just a bad day thing for a while, almost every day at work every little thing is driving me absolutely insane and I feel I can’t get anything done and can’t please anyone. In my free time to clear my head I love to write and I feel like everything I write makes absolutely zero sense I just can’t break this cycle 😂

Omg no cap I watched the first one and thought u we’re going to double upload when I got the notification

Nah this wont make me anxious with you. Its so much more common that people know. I hvae done this kind of battling for a while. Sounds very familiar. The one thing about anxiety is no one will understand how bad it can be that hasnt been there in their own shoes. I have gotten many fine statements like grow up, shape up and more Anxiety is not only different for every individual facing it, but totally foreign those who havent. LIke if you said you had a horrible day cuz you had a bad headache, people would understand cuz they have been there. Who doesnt know what that feels like. Dont let anyone knock you down for your anxiety. I think you are right and you will adjust to your new situation. I totally get it. Been there! Sorry this is so weirdly written its 4am and I am heading out to work. Hope today goes better! *hugs*

your mannerisms remind my of gracev asmr!!!

W candle W video🧡🧡🧡🧡

You made it through and hopefully talking about it helped. I can assure you that none of your coworkers are going to judge you as harshly as you were judging yourself.

sick glasses 😎

Aww man, you look quite sad or exhausted in this one, must rly have been I rough day. Wish you a good recovery, I know how shitty some days can be. 😵‍💫☺

Not entirely relevant but your video title reminds me of a song called “Bad Life” by Sigrid. You should give it a listen!

When the podcast collab coming😮‍💨

Not the first but one of the first!

💐🩵

W viiddddd😩🥴

I hope you find solace in knowing that you are no different than most. These anxious feelings are completely normal. Your internship would not have chosen you if they didn’t think you would do well. There are two directions to addressing anxiety: cognitive and physiological. You can talk yourself through these anxious feelings using rational thought and you can also lessen these anxious feelings through things such as breathing exercises. Perhaps taking a few moments throughout the day to ground yourself and take some deep breaths with do the trick.

You are beautiful ❤ xx

Good vid ^__^

How many bad days in a row before it’s a bad life?

🙂🎧

♥