Do you know what I love about what your doing? Is regardless whether you’re on the spectrum or not or whether you have PTSD, OCD, ADHD, MDD or some other medical abbreviation, you’re speaking about it & making all of us feel more comfortable & that it’s ok to be one or all of those things & I think that’s amazing & as I always say Sis you’re a rockstar 🥹💖🙏

I'm 53 and just went for testing for autism/ADHD last week! I asked myself and my doctor's why I should go to the trouble at this stage of my life. They said it could impact my care. I thought that just my children and grandchildren deserve to know. I also have hyper- mobile Ehlors-Danlos syndrome and have become disabled because of that. Applying for assistance has been very hard. As a result of being in constant pain my mask was too much to constantly bear. I had managed a comfortable life as a self employed cleaning lady. It was humble but so perfect that I loved it for 18 years!! I realize now that I have had a carefully curated life as much as possible since reaching maturity...and that it did take me longer to get there. I will find out the results in a couple weeks. Strangely, I'm hoping I passed because I can relate so well it seems impossible to not be.

Hi Nikki! I’m adhd/autistic as well! Also late diagnosed! Quite the perspective changer isn’t it! We face challenges that those with adhd or autism alone won’t, I found a group on rhymes-with-edit called “Autistic with adhd”. I found the posts to be incredibly relatable, educational, relieving (I’m not alone!), and overall the most helpful resource I’ve found. We have challenges and quirks unique only to us! I enjoyed learning about how some of the quirkiest things about me weren’t isolated to me! WHAA? Hope you find it helpful too! Thank you for sharing your diagnosis with us, it feels so good to know I’m not alone 💕

Thank you for this . When I took the quizzes you listed in another video I came up with about 50% (it was like 110 out of 200ish ) One of my kids is ADD. His teachers used to ask if he was on the spectrum but his doctor said no. He did not meet the criteria. I can see how things can overlap. It is all quite interesting.

Even though I’m 99.9 % sure that I’m not Autistic I find this interesting and some of the things very relatable. Since I was diagnosed as having severe depression with anxiety in my early 20s nobody has bothered to figure out what is actually going on with me. I have been put on depression medication that turned me manic/ anxiety medication that eventually started causing full blown panic attacks and anti psychotic medications that made my psychotic symptoms worse. They dismissed symptoms in counseling even though they were stressful because I was aware of them and therefore they didn’t count as a symptom. I’ve now gotten to the point where I don’t care what it is and I don’t trust doctors, counselors or psychiatrists and I’ll just deal with things as they come up the best I can. I’m physically disabled and have been for quite a few years now so it’s become way too difficult to keep trying to find someone who is actually willing and able to figure out what is wrong with me. Even when I did find doctors and counselors who wanted to get to the bottom of it the medical insurance wouldn’t approve testing and I had to switch counselors every few months because my insurance won’t cover private counseling services and the counseling centers switch your counselors every 6 months so just as you start making any progress you have to start all over again with someone else I’m just sick of being me and I’m glad I found your channel so I can pretend I have a friend who understands struggle while I’m watching the video Thanks for doing this even though I still don’t understand half of what this video covers It’s all very confusing to me and too much information at one time

Thanks for everything you're doing. I'm caught up myself right now, self diagnosing and also pissed that I was MISdiagnosed with something else LOL. So much of these neurological and psychological symptoms overlap I realize its difficult for health care professionals, and according to their specialty, to a hammer everything looks like a nail, or however that saying goes. Anyway, keep making these videos!

After watching your videos, reading about autism, thinking about my family members who have autism and taking all the tests, I also believe I have autism. Just in case it helps others, I went through all of these criteria that you went through and here are my "answers". A. The social things 1. Social: bad at social interactions - difficult to keep conversations going, difficulty in understanding meaning, take things very literally, issue When people try to hint at something, i never understand what they are hinting at. Someone whose wife was pregnant said something about wanting a boy, I told them the story of my brother who lost a baby after saying he would send a girl back. I didn't understand why they were upset. I got a bad review because I told people about a problem with the attendance system that made me lose out on a vacation - this was seen as an EI issue instead of a social issue. I still don't understand why this was bad? I don't understand why people can't just tell you what they want. 2. Nonverbal communications: can you read nonverbal? Making facial expressions that aren't "normal" I can read non-verbal, but because I've learned how to via studying people and by taking actual classes in nonverbal communication. I don't like looking at people in the eyes. .I have to force myself to smile because people get upset when I don't because i have RBF. I have forced myself to look and act normal, when it's not comfortable for me. 3. Relationships: Making friends and keeping them. I have few good friends. People either really like me or really don't like me because I'm weird. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Most of my friends don't stay around because I'm not good at maintaining friendships. I don't like going out with people, so I rarely meet people. I've met some online, but most of the time they fizzle. I have a crazy good imagination. I've always been known for my creativity. I grew up reading and watching movies (it was a family thing). I overshare and tell people everything, when I think I should be quiet. In fact, I took a personality test for work (they have everyone take it to determine where they are) - my test showed that what I am and what I think I should be are complete opposite. Category B (i forget what this was) 1. Repetitive Behaviors I tap my fingers over and over again. I use fidget toys. I tap different partes of my body. I tap my feet or my finger. I rock when I'm very upset to comfort me. Lining up objects: Yeah I guess I do. (looks at my desk where it's either chaos or lined up) 2. Insistence on sameness When I think something should be a specific way I get very upset when it's not done that way. If there is a rule that I think should be followed and isn't, it bothers me a lot. I also would rather eat the same food every day, and get annoyed when someone tells me otherwise. I find comfort in doing my daily work routines - I get annoyed when a meeting is cancelled. 3. Highly restricted fixated interests (unusual subjects) - "special interests") Yes. Yes Yes. Diamond painting, Makeup, gaming, being creative in every single possible way I can. This often rotates because I also have ADHD, but when I'm invested in a subject, I go all in no matter what the cost - emotiaonlly, financially, to relationships. 4. Hyper/Hypo Reactivity to sensory I'm extremly sensitive to touch - I can't handle light touches from other people. I can't handle loud sounds. I can't handle a lot of clothes because of the texture. Smells give me headaches. I taste things very strongly. Certain food textures make me vomit (eggs). I prefer to have headphones on my head. They keep sounds down to a more manageable level, and are comforting even without sound. C. Symptoms must be apparent in the early developmental period, but could not manifest fully until sometime later (when demands exceed limits) or may be masked. As a child, I had many of these same things. I would count. I had an anversion to specific foods based on texture (i literally vomitted from scrambled eggs). I've always had issues in social settings - was commented on by teachers. I was thought of as being weird. My father was also a bit different than other people, so it wasn't looked at internally as me being that strange. I was very good at masking in school and at work unless I had to work in a team. I'm great at working alone. D: Symptoms cause issues in life (Btw, I think this is either it actually impacts you, or you go around "normal" people to do your specific things that aren't considered typical.) I have problems with work that have been detrimental to my career. I have issues with my marriage because I don't understand the clues my husband gives me. E. You have traits specific to autism, and not other things. I mean, I also have ADHD, but I think most of these traits can't be completely explained by ADHD. Sorry for the book, but I hope it helps.

Smiling has been so deeply programmed into me so I smile almost constantly when I'm around other people no matter what. I usually have an ache in my cheeks because of it. The core friend group is just YES. Many are my friendly accuantances, but friends? That's a very different thing for me. And Imaginary play... Well, I always wanted to play Lord of the Rings but my playmates never played according to MY script and I couldn't deal with that and started playing an outsider character so I could still play with them but didn't have to interract with them as much. And my longest running special interest has been reading, and then mostly fantasy. But other stuff comes and goes in intervalls, but they always come back. (on top of my already set autism diagnosis I'm now wating for an ADHD evaluation). THE NEED TO TOUCH EVERYTHING! And then there comes a texture that is a no-no and everything feels terrible. The need for assistance I absolutely understand. I am creating a better home environment for my needs, BUT everyone sees me as "high functioning" and therefor they don't understand when I ask for help. But that's masking. And well, a lot more but I don't have the energy to go into that today.

Ohh that's so cool. I am autistic, I was assessed by a psychologist who specializes in autism and even though the assessments I had done have proven to have a male bias, I still fit the criteria to be considered on the spectrum. I also have cptsd from repeated childhood trauma and adhd. :3

An issue I found with psychiatrists is if I'm able to mask then how can you tell how bad it is underneath? Like, I've learnt coping mechanisms so I come across very different from how I feel. One time I was like, "ah how do you want me to answer you, with my healthy mind or chaotic side? Coz I can tell the difference between my logical thoughts and the ill thoughts so um.... hmmm". It's like my mask is healthy the chaotic side would put me in a mental facility.

Thank you for this chat is good of you to help people out 🖤🥰

I always say the wrong thing trying to be nice I'm not great with loss of any kind

each video i watch the more i relate... i m more autistic than hp. will speak with my friends coz one of them is psychologist...

Hi Nikki, I was just in Netherlands for my holiday and was hoping to bump into you 😂😂!! Funnily enough the friend I was with told me he thought he was autistic. Your vids helped me in that situation. Funny how things work out! Thanks for the video - hope you are doing well.

So informative! Even if you don't have Autism, this is so helpful to understand those that do. Thank you ❤

Dear Nikki, I’m not on the spectrum but I do suffer from anxiety. Also I do not know how to respect personal space. Anyway, I had a deep deep depression years ago and since then, I’m seeing a shrink twice a year. He never diagnosed me until I asked him, 4 years into treatment. You know what he said. « You are bubbly ». Meaning I have my heart on my sleeve, go on about the world with a big smile….and then the world looks back with indifference or unpleasantness. It was liberating. I accept myself and if some people are too uptight to like me, their loss. I’m not sure about labels in psychiatry. Sometimes they are quite reducing. What I know is that I ALWAYS give a positive benefit of a doubt when I meet someone. I try to be as open and nice as possible to everybody’s difference, and if I suspect someone has a social difficulty, I go in with my elephant boots and let them know it is perfectly fine with me, I don’t mind . Beauty is in difference. And I think you are beautiful ! Luvvv , Sophie

Thank you so much for being so honest and open about your progress toward self discovery. I think this is awesome and I believe more people will be more accepting of mental/ emotional health and be more understanding of others. Please keep being you. Love from the spooky Pine Barrens in NJ USA

I just don't like to speak unless I have to. I am an introvert but that happened after many burns over the years. I tried to be part of those parent groups after my son's diagnosis but couldn't do it.

Some other cultures see direct eye contact as a challenging them.

The #SistraHood is a comfort, after realizing we aren’t ‘broken’, Society is broken to only function for a Patriarchal definition of ‘normalcy’ & even female clinicians are trained by a Patriarchy to succeed or proceed in their fields.

Hi love! Beautiful eye look 😍

E.g. means example given, for example....sounds like you're high functioning to me...hence it's on a spectrum I would think...there are functioning differences. Great information.

I think you can still get a diagnosis. I also function... but also only because I managed to set up my life the way i need it. And I am suffering if circumstances change and I cannot live the way i need to. I cannot live the live others live. So why not getting diagnosed...

This was definitely very helpful 🥰😍🤩🥰😍🤩🥰😍🤩

So, this explains a bit why a psychologist would need to speak to my Mom, but I can remember back a long says and I've always had a lot of these issues. But I do have ADHD, and plenty of reasons for PTSD, and I was once diagnosed with Bi-polar [but while I had the depression issues, I never went truly manic]. If I didn't have both memories and stories from my parents, I would try to let this go as 'Oh, maybe its just ADHD, but.... it doesn't matter if I get an official one, I only wanted to be tested to make sure its not just all in my head.

I was told my smile reminded the more of a wolf sneer than an actual smile, so I guess my smiles can look pretty tense. I also make disgusted faces every time a loud kid is running too close to me. I literally dodge them like somebody would dodge a bomb. Thank goodness the mask I wear at work hides that a bit XD

I also don't have any one in my life I class as a true friend I don't trust easy and I'm awkward meeting people they make me feel like I'm weird and different and my point of views to other people points of view can be really different so they feel uncomfortable I feel uncomfortable end up just awkward silence so I don't try anymore I'm happier in my own company I like the idea of friends but it can be really hard work for me

Thank you for sharing your journey. I definitely have many qualities of asd, I used that as a shield/form of denial when my son was being diagnosed. How could be on the spectrum? He gets that from me and I am not on the spectrum. We are finally at the acceptance point of our journey.

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Hi Nikki, and everyone here in the comments... I really like your content, and your personality :) so please don't take my following points in a bad way but I am here challenging the idea that you can self diagnose anything: - In general it is as hard to self-diagnose autism as it is to self-diagnose cancer. It is just not likely to be the case. Moreover everybody scores somewhat on every psychological condition - just because we are all human. - Those tests are also about intensity. It is not just yes or no. - If it doesn't impair you, do you really have it? Couldn't it be that you feel that way because you are human? - Even if you score high on some test it is still not always the case you have what it tests because everybody is different - that is why you need to take tests with a professional. - A lot of behavior that is in one situation definitely clinical is totally normal in another situation. For example, waking up sweating 6x per night in a panic is not normal and healthy and could mean you have a panic disorder. Unless you live in a war zone - in that case it is an entirely normal and healthy reaction to - you know - fear of death. All that means that it is complicated, which ALSO means things are changing. Certain psychological conditions are now recognized as normal (being gay!!!) or have different definitions (autism has changed a LOT in the last 30 years). So all in all, _only a psychologist/psychiatrist can do a diagnosis_. _You can’t_. If it makes you feel better - feel you are not alone - all good. But please do not go on sharing about autism because you might have it. I would question that even from a health professional. It is so easy to give people the wrong idea and the wrong information. There is always plenty of that in the internet when comes to health advice (like vaccines). Please go check what you think you have with a professional and do accept their opinion even if they contradict your self diagnosis. It is not unreasonable to get a second opinion, if you are really uncertain get a third. But if they all conclude you don’t have autism or what it is you think you have you should really admit to yourself you don’t have what you think you have. We all deal with people every day so we think that makes us psychologists, experts. It doesn’t. Reading books also doesn't. All that said - if you feel bad, have issues - talk to a psychologist. They can help. Just don’t try to self diagnose. Again, I share a lot of those traits and I was not diagnosed with autism. It is simply because I am human. And bet it is the same as lot of people in the comments here. Please, read corticalchauvinism.com/2015/03/23/autism-self-diagnosis-the-seinfeld-syndrome/ Where am I coming from with this? 1. I was diagnosed with OCD years ago and I see the word being thrown around like it is just a personality trait. It did impaired me and made my life shitty. 2. I have been into really bad downward spirals thinking I was crazy... and the only solution I found was not doing internet quizzes or reading books but it was talking to professionals. 3. Because of my experience with psychologists and psychiatrists, I can say the internet has way too much BS about mental health. 4. I am married to a psychologist - whom I asked the opinion about your videos and the comments. Not to try to diagnose you, but to more professionally talk about the dangerous of self diagnoses. Why most people feel that have something like autistm, OCD etc... as I explained above. I just hope my comment helps someone and warns people to trust health professionals. Austism, OCD, social anxiety... it is not be treated lightly. Which I feel it has been the case in your videos and others. Sorry. For now I will stick to watching your makeup videos. This subject is triggering for me. Take care 💜

While I think it's horrible we made autism a WHITE BOY thing in the beginning, so we didn't diagnose people of colour or white women, it seems wrong to go to the other extreme and talking about female autism (I so hope it's not "White Female Autism", but at least many women is included, but knowing the world, we are most likely just doing the "white boy" mistake in reverse.), because autism doesn't care what body it is in, it effect everyone independently of gender. The outside cultural pressure on a person create the persona. If a guy get pressured in the same way, he will (like me) develope female autism and it isn't about being gay or trans, that seems to have no effect. For all we know there is 10 masking autistic men for every one women that got late diagnosed. It is also entirely possible there is 10% autistic people in the world, but the DSM definition is so narrow it only catches a small subset, it is not like some countries that screen everyone for breast cancer, right now we have to detect what the "normal" people think of as a problem in a person and a lot of "normal" people will delude themself into saying there is no problem with their child/friend, so we don't even start the diagnosis for most people. It is like that stupid show "will it blend" were you drop something into a blender... At the moment the type of blender we use is able to blend most people. (That has to be the best pun I've ever made)