re: coffee and redbull, it's well-documented that ADHDers' reactions to stimulant substances like caffeine that are super different from neurotypical people's reactions

27:00 IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME!!!! I have lost so many friends because they thought I was always making it about me. All I was really I was saying is " I understand. "

When I was a child, getting me to wear socks was like pulling teeth. I hated the feeling of the toe seams if they got underneath my toes so much. Toe socks were absolutely out of the question! I also couldn’t touch paper or velvet. The sensation was so repulsive to me. As an adult these sensitivities have become much more manageable and I can now wear socks and velvet without any problem. Paper still sucks though lol! It’s funny how many things my Autism decides is a huge deal.

"Structure" is so much better to describe it than "discipline."

I'm (cis) male but the majority of these ring true for me. It was actually seeing women's experiences of autism that made me get assessed (and subsequently diagnosed). I've seen a number of other men online who feel the same way: many of us don't present like the stereotypically autistic boys/men.

It just came to mind so I'll share. My dad has adhd but maybe autism too. When he was a kid his family called him brontosaurus; big slow and stupid...then they found out he had an IQ of 220 at 12 so then his name became; the walking book of useless information! It's astonishing they think he was treated equally. I'm so proud of him, especially as a parent 💖 Ik that sounds exceptionally high, maybe I'm remembering wrong. But knowing him, he describes his thoughts as 25 TV screens all doing their own thing at the same time and when one comes to a conclusion it draws his attention. Makes him an extremely lateral thinker. The only problem with that is not being able to control his concentration without high levels of adhd meds. Not to keep boasting although he deserves it. He was physically gifted too and also at 12 on a dingey bike would outride the Olympic team on the way to school every morning. The coach followed him one day and begged his dad to let him join but he just said "no he'd only let you down." He was never noticed. He is an inventer. He loves cars. He's a boilmaker/shipwright. But he's had brain damage and fibromyalger now. Makes me think how many incredible people have been robbed, exploited and held back. Sorry really went off there 😅

WOW i saw so much of myself in this! Also, as an educator of over 25 years, i agree with you about disliking the term "deficits". They are simply variations; no more, no less, and no learning style or requirement or adaptation is better or worse than any other. It is the job of the educator to meet each student exactly where they are when they walk into the classroom, and figure out how best to meet that student's needs, not expect the student to fit a predetermined method or sequence developed by the teacher or curriculum company. Anyone not understanding or agreeing with that is absolutely not an educator in the truest sense of the word.

Nikki, when I watched your first video things started clicking in place for me immediately. Which sent me down a research and testing madness period, including Taylor and her videos. So not only did I realize what has really been happening my entire life (and I am 55 years old) I also realized exactly nobody would believe me because the masking is real, real, real. First attempt was to discuss this with my mother (in hindsight not so great of a choice) and as soon as the words on the spectrum (I was doing a bad job of explaining it to her) were said she totally shut down. I then became frustrated and I shut down. I am not looking for approval, I am looking for understanding and beyond that, my people? I have continued my research though and my next attempt at this will be a family member that I know who also has experience as a teacher with this and who I believe will be more open minded and actually realistic. That will indeed see past what I have been masking but has also seen the flip side of just about every single one of the items you discussed today in real time, as my mask has slipped. All of that to say, I have not yet found my community that understands, and to have you be so open with us has helped tremendously and means so very much to me. I hope it is doing the very same for you. Thank you! 🙏 ❤️

You often hear "Just be yourself," but what they really mean is, "Just be yourself (but not like that)."

Niki, that was a fabulous video!! Thank you so much for taking the time to make it and for sharing your answers with us. I found your video very helpful!! I said 'yes' to most of the points!!

This is a really relatable video. I also kind of noticed that traits and behaviours that are perceived negatively by neurotypical society to me seem neither negative nor positive rather they just exist.

The parallels between your story and mine makes me so excited. I immediately thought of "Structure" vs. "Discipline." I also am very good at copying, but less so at coming up with something "new." In regards to the public meltdowns - not really now but I absolutely struggled with it when I was a child/teen. I also now remove myself as a method to cope. Something I didn't see mentioned is hyperlexia. Not all women with Aspergers have hyperlexia, but most hyperlexics are on the spectrum. I was spontaneously reading at 3 and had finished several entire series of chapter books in preschool. My mom tells me I was reading the Spanish on warning signs when I was 2. I also have music going in my head almost constantly. I know hundreds of songs by heart and if I hear a phrase that is a lyric, that song immediately starts playing. It makes church... interesting 😂😂

Thank you so much for making this video. It really touched me and made sooooo much sense!!!!!! Btw, YOU’RE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!

Wow, I really really loved this video 😊 You have such a great way of explaning, communicating. And your little accent is so cool !

Herr, here ! So many things. I kinda get antsy about labeling and single-sourcing my uniqueness. I just saw a KZfaq video from a psychiatrist/psychologist (?) putting forth an idea that some are talking about that some individuals are simply more sensitive! Period! I kinda appreciate that. Not sensitive in a bad way, but sensitive because they actually see and feel things.

This was so helpful to me! I am a big info dumper and now I know why. Thank you for going through this. I may make a similar video at some point when I'm ready to share my autistic side with the world.

You are uniquely you & I think its so refreshing. A fair bit of this reminds me of one of my bffs, but she's ADHD & has a traumatic brain injury to deal with. Thanks as always for sharing & stay well.

I love this video Nikki! thank you for sharing!! I did burst out laughing on your point number 3 and your reaction 😅 love you so much!

Incredibly helpful. I'm not diagnosed and I've taught about autism for years .. im more and more convinced I'm on the spectrum and your video really helped me see where I am.. I resonate with everything you've said.. it could have been my life you were talking about. Thank you x

Oh, how much that resonates with me. I must read more. I really like that you make these videos and are so open and honest. Thank you so much amazing human ❤️

Thank you very much, so much! I just discovered your channel and those videos... I do relate a lot with even your comments about each item :-) Wish you the best

I related to many of your experiences and mannerisms. And your eyeshadow is AMAZING! I’m looking forward to watching more of your videos in the future.

Thank you for making this video! I do relate to almost all of what you said. I'm 50, and I only recently had one of my mental health providers say that she thinks I am on the spectrum. I've been seeing a therapist and a PA who regulates my meds for years! I am very proficient at masking almost everything. She brought it up with me because she was noticing that I had been self-soothing. I do that quite a lot without realizing it. It was perfecting timing when you first mentioned it a few videos ago. I very much appreciate that you are sharing your experiences and what you are learning. Thank you so much!

Please do more videos about this❤❤❤ what an amazing video!

Nikki, this video was very helpful. I was diagnosed with adhd/autism 2 months ago and am wrapping my head around it.

Great video! Thanks for sharing and very helpful 😊

I so relate to so many things that she talked about today, I know we’ve had lengthy conversations about these things but yet there’s a lot of things that I don’t have also but we definitely do get each other lol I love that you are sharing your experiences with everyone it helps us to know that we’re not the only weird ones out there lol

I’m autistic and this was very informative. I couldn’t watch it all because of the amount of adverts which triggers me. But thank you

That eye makeup is ON FIRE 💜

Sis the more you explain the more I discover let’s just say that, you are just amazing for doing what you’re doing so much respect for you my friend you are a rockstar hun 💖🙏

Dankje dankje dankje Nikki. Ik ben zo blij dat je dit deelt. Voor mij is het een enorme openbaring. Iets waar ik nooit bij stilgestaan heb. Maar mijn antwoorden op een stuk of twee/drie na waren hetzelfde als bij jou. Bij mij is ook borderline gediagnosticeerd, maar ik kom niet echt in de buurt van een borderliner kwa gedrag of gewoonten. Maar wel in wat ik dankzij jou nou allemaal hoor en lees. Ik heb ook de test gedaan uit jouw link, en scoorde 36. Klinkt raar, maar ik bedoel het goed, ik ben zo blij en opgelucht. Alleen het naar buiten brengen heb ik wat meer moeite mee. Juist omdat ik dan bang ben weer een stempel te krijgen. Ik wordt donderdag 54 jaar, en nou pas voel ik me op mijn plek. Dankzij jou. Er kloppen gewoon heel veel dingen. De puzzel valt op zijn plek.

I love these videos! I Yeah, I tick almost all the boxes on this list, lol. I feel like we are on a similar path of self discovery, as I had a notion about being on the spectrum, and voila - then you posted your first video about autism ❤

This video is really eye opening for me, I will do my research foooor suuuureee!!

Wow. This was incredibly helpful. It just appeared in my feed.

Great list and I relate to your personal elaboration and tweaks

Thank you for sharing your experience! I found it very informative. I related a lot to this checklist, as I did a few years ago when I was curious if I'm neurodivergent. I have kind of decided that I'm a little odd due to my upbringing (which was kind of stressful) but who knows. Anyways, I appreciate this video!

Thank you so much for making this video and elaborating on the points. I could relate to so many of them, which I did not see coming. For quite some time now I have suspected that I'm on the spectrum (+potentially adhd), but I don't have a diagnose, and I don't know how one does this either. Plus I'd feel foolish to go to someone only to have this person tell me that I don't have those traits. It's the same with my family and friends, I have mentioned it to a friend of mine once, and she said she didn't think so, so I dropped it. I think I'm also just really good at masking, but I don't really know, because I struggle to think of how I behave in social situations. It's just all very confusing to me. Sorry for rambling. Thank you! I hope you're doing better with your burnout

Your eyeshadow is beautiful! I also feel that I am undiagnosed autistic along with my son

Wow!!! I relate to basically all your video. Thank you so much. 😊

Your eye makeup looks so pretty! I have 2 autistic sons, 2 different fathers so I know it comes from me. I’ve always felt different, pretty sure I’m in the spectrum as well🥰

Hi Nikki, I really enjoy your videos. I was reading about autism… the thing with some of these lists shared everywhere on the internet is that these items could be just your personality. I say yes to a lot of these and I have been to psychologists and psychiatrists, I only have OCD and social anxiety. Part of the odd things I have is just personality. I have a friend that always thought her partner had autism, turns out after talking to a specialist it was only ADHD. I completely understand the need to explain our traits and behaviors and name what we feel but sometimes they are only that: personality and who you are. In short, please consider talking to a specialist. 40% of people with autism can not even speak, this is a serious condition. I would be curious to hear your experiences after talking to a specialist or even just to a psychologist. I just find really dangerous to auto diagnose, there is so much misinformation out there. Even if you do your own research, that can not possibly be better than talking to a specialist. Hugs, take care ❤️

I can copy paste too ... drawing my own things is hard to me 😂 you have a very nice eye makeup.

Oh wow. 😮 @10:09 when you mentioned if I cannot convert it into an image or picture in your mind, you cannot learn it.” Me too!!!!!

I like this, and I LOVE your eyeshadow. Inspired for tomorrow's work makeup I think :-P actually this video is a fun idea for me to cover on my channel, or maybe just cover the topic in one of my Science topics ^_^

Oh WOW!!! I haven't been diagnosed as autistic and don't really think I am. Unless I'm masking myself from myself. lol I Have been diagnosed as ADD. But there is SOOOO much of what you said, and HOW you described it, that completely resonates with me and how I am. I DO have a daughter who was dx within the last few years at the age of 12.

I am deciding that my both ... and ... approach to being autistic and also finding a way to belong is not working as i listen to your posts. Thanks for helping me see this. I am learning and growing through my diversity one day at a time.

Hey Nikki sending lots of love and hugs! 💜💜💜

Had to pause to comment. I just got to the part where you are talking about copy and paste to learn stuff. My gosh I do that too. I remember very clearly doing this when learning to draw a something in Kindergarten. I still need to finish the video but we have so much more in common than I realized

Another good one, thank you! 😘 I didn't find it long, I thought it was a short one. 😁 I am a bit overwhelmed at this point. I could relate almost everything. Still I have difficulties seeing myself as autistic. I didn't quite understand what masking is and thought I definitely do not do that. Now I think I do understand and I think I do that. Still I find it difficult to "admit" (I also find it hard to find right words because I don't want to sound negative and or seem as if I "look down" on something) because it feels to be part of me, the way I am. I think I just adjust myself according to my company/situations. I know this sounds a bit stupid but for some reason it is "hard" for me to use the word masking. Don't know why. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. 🤷‍♀ When I was child I absolutely _hated_ every family gathering, party or anything where I had to be with "strangers" = other people. 😂 I remember once trying to explain to my mom that I do not know how to be with people and please, can I stay home. She didn't understand and said that nonsense, you will learn! I have always had a problem when people ask me how I'm doing. I know it is small talk and the person who asks it usually couldn't care less about me or my life but I find it hard to not answer truthfully and I always struggle with what should I answer. I have had to teach myself to ignore the question and just say "I'm good, thank you". 🙄 Still it buffles me everytime and I find myself wondering why is this person interested in how I'm doing (even though I know that it most definitely is not the case). 🤣 You have opened a door for me. I don't know where it will lead me, or will it actually lead anywhere. But it is open now... I used to think I was not normal like others were when I was a child but I always thought it was due to the problems we had at home and a bit because I had some personal minor flaw in me. I carried that assumption with me to my adulthood. Then I found HSP. Now I don't really know if I should start finding more information about the spectrum or just leave it at that. I went to Waldorf school as a kid and this has made me think that it probably was one thing that has helped me to cope my life so that I am where I am now, and I mean it in a positive way. I find it a very interesting thought! It did not help my son though, on the long run, but then again, also the times have changed since my childhood in the 70's/80's and Waldorf school along too... Again some long and random ramblings from me but your videos have opened that door (and some sort of Pandora's chest, it seems 😂). If nothing else this is all very interesting and I believe that your videos are very helpful to very many women out there! Thank you for making these videos and thank you for letting us in into your journey! ❤

One thing I find fascinating is the fact that I do recognize almost all traits, but I can see that some of them have subsided (or I notice them being less intense, at least) since I've been under treatment for depression. So what I thought was my "personality" was actually not entirely my own real personality, because with a biochemical supplement I'm a bit different. I'm not another person, eh. But I often think about what makes me "me" and what was instead due to depression or being prone to it because of chemical imbalance in my body.

Exactly, 💯 telling the experience let's the other person know we understand.

Nikki your eyelook is stunning Ok, learning with pictures in yout hear

So many things in common🥰 One of my 1000 scenarios bring me to that movie about the genius boy and mamy J.Foster, at the end he said something like:"I discovered that I was like everyone else, when I find out that everybody is different." 2-To me it seems that, if we look for similarity that's what we'll find, if we look for differences... there they are. 3-Sometimes I feel like we are split in 7.8billion people, other that we are a colorful Minestrone, with different proportions of the same ingredients I'll stop to 3 😁

I really enjoyed this, even if it was frightening how many I can tick off. I'm not sure on my voice quality, but... I have gastro issues; I was diagnosed with bi-polar - neither of I knew were connected. And I'm even more frustrated that I can't get a diagnosis without hauling my mom down here to talk to the testing psych who did my testing for ADD.

I've been told for decades that I'm so immature. Well, now I'm 70. Maturity isn't all it's cracked up to be. I was diagnosed ADHD at age 40. I've suspected I'm on the autism spectrum. Decided to go to college at 40 just to prove I could. I did that, but didn't like the medical sciences I studied for. I've always been the artist type. I learned a secret, artists ALL copy things from other places. Tons of them use projectors to get things like facial features and perspective correct. It's a well kept secret in the art world. Some artists will then go on and add their own ideas, shapes, colors, etc. and grow into their own style. It's a learning process that most artists have. I've never met one yet that started out with something that didn't have shades of things they'd seen elsewhere. Happy art making😁

Not to take away from your experience, but a big yes for nearly every one of those for me. Love from the spooky Pine Barrens in the USA

Your “copy and paste” skill I used to call it copy cating when I was younger lol every one thought I was such a good artist. But I couldn’t get them to understand I couldn’t create anything new only what I had seen someone else do before. Creative in a very structured way.

Going over the traits, for #9 when you said “routines” and you couldn’t think of the other word you had for it, was it Rituals? Cause that’s what I thought of. Your own way of doing things in a pattern “ritual” that brings comfort. Makes sense to me.

Hi nikki Glad to find U here I am autistic ans adhd I can relate to nearly all of what U say

Hello Nikki from Australia 🙋🇦🇺💕 I am a mum of an 15yld autistic and ADHD ODD. Just found your Chanelle, 🤗🇦🇺

Dude. As a fellow female ASD it is INSANE how much you & I have in common 😵‍💫

I had a visceral reaction to this video. You have so much Stuff in the background. I love it. I love knickknacks. I would love to look through your stuff. You probably wouldn't want me to. Lol.

thank you for the in depth explanations for each one. I don't like to be around others unless I have to. I feel I won't contribute to any conversation that is going on so why bother.

I can totally relate to so much of what you said 😍😍😍 the flavor of coffee is what I enjoy in the morning but I drink coffee in the morning and tea at night, the caffeine does not keep me awake. I would rather die then cry in front of someone but I think the shutting down of feeling has more to do with having been married to a narcissistic sociopath with histrionic personality disorder for 21 years 😅😍

I can relate so much to many of the traits.

Thank you so much for this. I have ADHD and have suspected that I have Aspergers. I have answered yes to most of the questions on your list. I told my psychiatrist a while back that I thought I might have Aspergers/Autism and asked him if he thinks I should be tested but he said he doesn't think I have it. Now I think he may be wrong. Clearly, I have a lot of the traits in your list and I relate to your experiences and answers. I think I will look into this more. Thank you

i am FLABBERGASTED ! i can relate with nearly all that !! EDIT Not only can i relate.. but some things you said .. i could say the same things . strongly! thank you !

Hi! New subscriber here! I'm in my journey discovering myself and i related a lot to you! Wanna go to get diagnosed, want to finally understand me. Thank you for this 🤗

Thanks, very interesting. I'm too tired to discuss on this occasion xx

Yes, learning issues. Have to 👀 and hear it. 💯 I know how to crochet.

I’m prone to mutism (under extreme stress) I’ve had that a lot where I just can speak and just answer with the least amount of words. Even texting sentences becomes difficult.

Okay, so, I'm having a glass of wine and I almost spit it out when I saw this eyelook! It's gorgeous! I'm going to play along! (yes I am autistic) 1) yes. 2) Depends on my spoons for the day. 3) So I've been told. 4) No (would contribute that to trauma though) But lego!! YES! 5) I don't know that many? 6) Not sure. 7) yes... 8) My channel is based on reading soooo. 9) ouf, yeah. 10) yepp! when I know what's up then I'm good, mostly, I'm so much a nature person. 11) yeah. never understood it though. I'm the same, it's either or when I'm nervous. 12) yep. very different way of learning, also, clay houses? sounds soo cool! 13) not in that way. 14) yeah, writing 15) yeah. 16) well, I hit burnout so I don't have my bachelors yet, but struggling with social? yeah. 17) well I guess. hahha. 18) Considered it heavily. 19) Have been on sickleave for 4 years because of burnout because of many things but lack of accomidations in university yes... 20) Realised that I learn very differently so yes. 21) A mix. First written and then ask questions. 22) Yep, Horses, makeup, dinosaurs. 23) sensitive, yeah, immature, no. 24) yes. 25) Yes, when I know what my feelings are. Which I don't a lot of the time... there is a word for that but I can't remember it atm. 26) yep. 27) yep, depression 28) honestly, i don't know. haha but yeah, coffee does almost nothing ot me. 29) yep 30) YES 31) not anymore 32) yes 33) yes 34) yes? I CAN speak, but I don't want to? 35) I don't think so? 36) YES 37) I don't think so most of the time. But yeah, what you said, can come across as self centered sometimes. 38) Shy? Yes. 39) I don't know anymore? most often I want to be home, but I might want to party sometimes? 40) Hahah yes. 41) Animals? Yes. 42) I do have many "girlfriends" now, but not before. 43) YES 44) Yeah... But the ones that are close that I have, we are REALLY close. 45) Celibate? no. Takes relationships seriously? YES, you need to communicate!! 46) depends 47) Oh that's a whole essay/video.... (Also, was this too much for a comment? Honestly I have no idea so yes/no? So I know for the future? 😅)

Thankyou I identified with nearly all of them. If I go out it will take me two to three days to recover because of the exhaustion of being overwhelmed trying to identify all that is going on around me. Masking is exhausting it’s easier to keep to myself

You look exactly like someone I met back in 2016 I believe?!! It was in the states though…. You’ve got the same name as well😂

Yes almost to all, especially the copy past thing, that is my specialty 😌. I felt like you were talking about me 😂😂, the more you elaborate the more I think that is me on another person 😂😂. I am 38 by the, also new to ADHD and ASD thingy. And this the first time in my life that I felt I am understood! 🤷‍♀️

Thank you 🌻

Pressed the subscribe button nikki

💯 we discuss our feelings.

I completely 👍.

You remind me so much of myself 😊

Hey Nikki! 💚🥰

I just found you. Thank you for sharing your info. You're absolutely, beautiful!🙂🌺🍄💮🐬🦌🐧🦋🌻🌸. Do you do makeup tutorials? I'm 67. I have many ADHD & Autistic symptoms. Im a retired RN. I have Bipolar type 2, not type 1 the bad 1. Mine's the not so bad type 1, praise God.

I have some of those traits ur amazing ty for this info

Consider if you’re a visual learner and yet your ability to see mental pictures does not exist now that’s a conundrum. Absolutely nothing gets stored into long-term memory unless there is a storyline narrative or I can work it into an audio memory so I can’t remember faces are places or names but if I hear a sound I can put it all together

Again almost everyone of these are me at least 90 to 95%. I always felt very uncomfortable around others. I am awkward around others, etc, etc, etc.

I understand this sooo much 😂 Just be yourself? What!? 😂

1.) info dumping 2.) *starts info dumping*

For me instead of discipline I like to use self care. Structure works for me as well

I'm on the spectrum. But never been diagnosed. However I don't think there's any advantage to being dx at least as an adult, except for a better understanding of one's self and an explanation of why life has been the way its been. It is kind of a relief to know the reason why things have been difficult or at the least, different. Some of these traits overlap with other conditions like ADHD or being gifted. Oh and being on a swing? Best thing ever!!!

this was so damn interesting! It's crazy how different autism manifests itself in women. My hubby is genderqueer and I can totally see some of these traits in them coz they're kinda part-woman hehe.

I've been to the Netherlands 🇳🇱 .

Wow. I have so many traits in common.

Does a dr supposed to diagnose you first or do you do the test

You are magic. 🙂💝

This video really helped me. Does anyone know of a gender neutral list of autistic traits? Thanks autistic fam 🙏

I loooooove your gnomes!

In all due respect Ms. Lady, you are in not only in my opinion from my perspective but in definition itself. SCIENCE! backed up you ARE indeed educated and the fact you are brave adventurous and determined to find your way following the path of knowledge....paving your own road vs. following curriculum and some "learn-ed" man woman and otherwise. Do you have a phone number or email or street address? I'd like to write you.

I even aced exam.

💯

Yes, sensitive 🥺 to 💊.