When I first found out my child had autism I was offended very often. I was sensitive. Now I’m way different with time. So sometimes when people are offended it’s because they are hurt and confused. We all just have to try to be patient and kind. like u said, live the golden rule. The Elenor Roosevelt quote was great.

My husband and I recently found you guys on KZfaq, we are from the UK. Our son is 4 years old and is being evaluated for autism. Which in so many ways has been overwhelming and a rollercoaster of emotions. Your videos have helped us so much, really put me at ease about a lot of things. I think you are an amazing and beautiful family. Your strength as parents is superb and awe inspiring. I think autism and autistic is the same, in my opinion 🙂❤️

Ian is awesome so is your family happy Mother’s Day

So happy to see your family is doing well and still teaching others about what it’s like to have children who have Autism. It is very challenging and often very isolating.

I think the tone and inflection are more important than the specific words that people say. Like I said in the poll, this is how we personally do it. If it is myself, then I use I'm autistic. If I'm talking about my kids, they have autism.

You guys are definitely doing a great job. Very self aware, teaching your kids how to deal with their emotions, and just in general being kind awesome people. I'm very happy I found your channel.

I love your videos and updates and think you do an awful lot to help us understand autism.

Thanks for this video! God bless you and your family.

I love watching you guys 💖 you melt my heart 🥰

Good and insightful advice for all people regardless of their circumstance.

Hi family! It's good to see you all. And hope that everything is fine. I follow you for so many years. I like the channel. Thanks for sharing. A big hug from the Netherlands! 🇳🇱😃❤🇺🇲

The only thing that bugs me is when someone tells me I can't say I'm autistic. I am. I'm also artistic. That doesn't mean I'm nothing but an artist. They act like it's saying you are autism. That's a different statement. People trying to change the meaning of language a lot right now.

I love you’re channel. I have an autistic Son( hope I’m not offending anyone) I really think that you guys speak so lovingly about you’re family that it doesn’t matter what you say. I’m trying to watch all you’re videos at one time or the other. There helpfull especially for someone like me that doesn’t have a lot off knowledge let. Just got the diagnoses in January. I started a 6 weeks course with other parents. I’m rambaling (sorry for my english not a native speaker, you probably already picked up on that 🙈

Love the topic ❤ I always felt if someone has a preference I would surely use what they prefer, but to constantly debate about what is the absolute correctness puts a lot of uneeded stress on Autistic individuals and caregivers when I think everyone is after the same goals of acceptance and inclusion ❤

Thank you so much for your videos .

I think it’s really nice to teach kids about autism so they can know more about it or if they have kids of their own

Alistair, you're so funny. That pop up toy that Connor is playing with, I have 3 of those; two of them are unicorn shaped and one that's shaped like Mickey Mouse. Happy mother's day, Brittany. Hope it was a good one. I am a mother to ducks, turkeys, chickens and Barbie dolls.

Happy Sunday!! I use all three interchangeably and I don’t care which people use.

Happy Mother's Day 🌺 love you guys! ❤️

As someone who has Autism I get what you are saying but sometimes I get offended by people or even members of my own family and sometimes I don't understand when they joking or not. I will still have times when I get upset and it takes me a long time to claim down.

Happy Sunday and I hope you guys are having a blast

I so agree with you both with people being over sensitive.

Youre boys are Sweet I like it when your oldest get the time to say what he think

Our son was dx at 4 years with autism, but when he was reevaluated at 11 years, he was dx PDD/NOS which is no longer considered autistic. We had him working with Behavioral Health Specialist from age 4-11 and he came so far!! He is now 19 and just finished his 1st year of college 3 hours south of home! He's also worked at McDonald's since he was 15, driver's ed got a little messed up due to the virus, but he graduated the day after passing his driving test! Oh, btw, even if he's no longer dx autistic, he's clearly on the spectrum, but he won't acknowledge it and doesn't want to talk about it! I haven't encountered this anywhere, but I wish I knew what to do in that regard. And one more thing--Ian reminds me out my hubby's nephew! The way he talks is very matter of fact. Great videos, great kids, and truly blessed parents! God help all the parents in this community. The learning never ends! Thanks to your kids for sharing with use love you all! God bless your family! 🤗

You children are cute and the angel of you family and that was awesome

Not offended at all, and I totally understand I really don’t care for either or but this is great to understand. Some people think we are using their disability as a crutch or singling them out, I get.

I'm not offended by either! (I personally refer to myself as being autistic because it has a lot to do with identity for me) But as with most things, the important thing are not the words but the intention behind them! I don't want other people to dictate how I talk about my autism/being autistic and I sure don't tell other people how to do so. Just be nice and kind, respect each other - the golden rule as you said! 😊

You beautiful parents deserve Oscar ❤️ love from india

Hi. Im 13. but 14 this year. I havent been diagnosed for autsium but were waiting to get a diagnosis. I suffer from anxiety and ocd. But I struggle with social stuff. Like I find it hard to understand if someones being sarcastic or if they are being mean or not. so I struggle with social queues. I also get overwhelmed realy easily. And I take some things litteraly. I hope your all doing okay. Just started watching your channel. I find it hard in busy areas and I get fixcated on stuff. Im on medication for my anxiety because without it its realy hard for me. Animals are realy good source of therapy for me.

Happy Sunday I hope you’re all having a blessed Sunday and happy Mother’s Day💙🤩😎❤️

Hey can I ask a very personal question my son has sensory and spectrum and since he was five he touches himself a lot that it has progressed into full blown touching it a lot like using a window sill or corner furniture. I was told by the doctor that he will out grow it but I don’t think she knows anything about autism. Do you have this problem and how do you handle this. Can you please give me some suggestions I truly value your opinion

Honestly in my opinion I don’t really care if they call mention me and Autism but, it’s when they say it in a negative way like “you’re so autistic” or “stop being autistic.” It kind of hurts me and made me depressed when people were bullying me because of it.

It was also like back in the days if you wore glasses you were called four eyes, or if you wore braces they called you brace face

I use "autist" to talk about my 15y.o under the autism spectrum and got "corrected" by someone, but didn't really realize there's such a debate

I find myself never offended and my daughter never is either. As long as no one uses the R word were okay! Sad I’d have to even say that but she did have one student call her that a few years back and that devastated her understandably. It’s sometimes a blessing but not when they are in regular ED because kids can definitely be mean.

My son is an adult and has autism, I never asked him this question so I’m going to have to! He’s not Asperger’s and neither is he on the lower end of the spectrum so I’ll have to see if he understands. I have several chronic medical conditions and I am not defined by them, like I’m not Lupus, RA, Fibro, etc. but of course I have all of them so I don’t mind if people say “Sandy has Lupus” because I do! But…no one can say “Sandy IS Lupus or RA” ..that doesn’t make sense. You can say “Robbie (my son) IS Autistic” so I can understand if someone with Autism wouldn’t like that. I’m new to your channel and I love your family! I love that you are Christians which is very hard to find, especially in the Autism or special needs communities. I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day! 💜🌷😍

Happy Mothers Day to you too love

I know this is a different subject but I'm the proud grandfather of a autistic child and I was wondering your thoughts are suggestions on potty training? He is 5yrs old and my daughter and her husband are struggling to get him trained

For idea “ I would suggest each kids journey from non verbal to verbal…… When and how and everything in between……” Just a suggestion 😌

Sorry if this is late but hope you had a great mother’s day :), I personally dont care what people say for me, its like my name, people say mitchell or mitch, so yeah, saying i have autism or like im autistic it doesnt really matter to me. P.s. Breath of the wild is a nice game :), i personally am a mario kart player, along with fighting games and racing games, even as I am also a competitive player

I’m 16 and am diagnosed with Autism. Is it normal to get new stims as you get older? I’ve found myself beginning to click my fingers a lot more and was wondering if stimming changing and getting new stims as you get older is normal?

Once again - a sincere, good faith open discussion about a controversial topic in the autism community. Y'all are great! THANK YOU! Here's my argument for using "identity first" language when talking about autism, and why it's so important: Saying someone "has" autism frames it linguistically in pathological terms. We say someone "has" a disease - like cancer, diabetes, or heart disease. This sort of language has imbedded incorrect, negative assumptions and inferences regarding autism and thus autistic people. It frames us as diseased. Disordered. Pathological. These meanings are subtexts - unstated and extremely powerful because they are unstated. This langauge frame autistic people as something to be eliminated, but hides this message because it's so....impolite. It's typical indirect neurotypical langauge where the implied subtext is the actual message. This needs to stop. Language determines how people think about the world, and is in turn a reflection of the ideas, assumptions and attitudes held by them. Change the language, and you you change the culture because the ideas and assumptions that underlie it also change. (In case you havent guessed, I'm autistic, but I'm also a savant. Ironically, a high IQ for language is one of my gifts) To understand the problem more clearly, imagine saying "I have maleness" rather than "I am male" or "I have homosexuality" instead of "I am gay" or "I have caucasioness" or "I have 5'-10" height". Still think it makes no difference? Well, before 1987, homosexuality was defined by the DSM as a disorder, and gay people were said to "have" "homosexuality". What flowed from that language and the beliefs and assumptions that underlay it ranged from dangerous psychiatric quackery to gay-bashing and even wholesale attempts at genocide against gay people. Autistic people face an even greater threat because of our uniquely sensitive and vulnerable natures combined with the rareity of our condition, as well as the social ostracizing, bullying, and demonization it brings - which is very similar to what homosexual people face. Unlike homosexuality, autism presents in infancy or early childhood, when the autistic person is defenseless and much more vulnerable to abuse than a homosexual person first expressing their sexuality as an adolescent. Most adolescents are more than able to stick-up for themselves lol... So yea....I say "I'm autistic" and I would feel a little bit safer in the world if everyone used identity first language when discussing autism too. Think of identity first language as one of the most powerful tool we have to educate people about the true nature of autism, and how it requires acceptance, celebration and support - not elimination. Again - Y'all are incredible. Keep up the good work =)

Your kid have gotten old and Happy Mother’s Day I don’t have Mother’s Day on may because I’m in a different country

Far too many people listen only to the word and ignore the conversation. I use both terms in many different ways and many different conversations. If a person chooses to get triggered on a word or phrase, that tells me they are far too defensive and lack the ability to listen and be objective.

The best thing to say is: I am a person with a different ability.

I don’t care if people say I have autism or I’m autistic. Just as long as they acknowledge it. It’s like if someone were to say that I have complex trauma, or childhood PTSD or complex PTSD, or just CPTSD. Or if somebody said that this person is totally blind, or that they’re visually impaired, or they can’t see. I’m a special needs individual on the autism spectrum, I have complex PTSD, and I’m totally blind. The only time I have a hard time is when people ask me dumb questions about my blindness. I type comments using an accessible feature on my Iphone called VoiceOver. I’ve been bullied because of my special needs, but I’m learning to be strong, and not get defensive when people do ask me questions. I don’t like thinking that everybody is out to get me.

Did you see are Austim awress day video from Aaron

Thanks for this, it is really helpful. I use “I’m an autistic and visually impaired person” because “I’m a person with autism and a visual impairment” is waaaay tooooo long! I do believe that autism is an inherent part of me, but I have no issue with others saying that I have autism. I think correcting people who have a strong self identity either way may be hurtful. I also find the arguments people put forward in defence of one phrase choice or another to be more hurtful than the phrase itself.

I wouldn't be upset either way but I prefer autistic because it influences every part of how I experience the world and how people experience me Do you say someone is deaf or say 'someone with deafness'? Sounds funny doesn't it

My father wouldn't allow me or anyone to say I was 'autistic'- hell, he barely allowed 'autism' for that matter. Mentioning 'it' was taboo and because of that, now I've gotten away from him, I prefer to use 'autistic'. I am autistic and it's not my responsibility to tiptoe around sensitive people who don't want to acknowledge it. The only people I've ever met who had a problem with it are my dad and random 14 year old girls who try to get offended on my behalf. Normalize acknowledging autism without acting like it's a cancer diagnosis!

I have autism but I’m fine with both

When did you discuss with your children about autism? Our son has been labeled a problem until we found out that he has Autism. He stopped eating 4 years ago and has used a feeding tube since. We don't know how to address it with him. He is very intelligent, however he knows what he is supposed to answer, so conversations can feel very one sided. We feel like we need to protect him from this society, So back to the original question when should we talk about it? He is 11. Thank You Folks You are a real Blessing. Asa Father I tend to be more protective. God Bless You All.

I never refer to myself as "autistic" because it sounds limiting. I think of myself as "having" autism because it is not who I am. That being said, I grew up without a diagnosis (I was diagnosed late) so I may not have come to terms with it fully. If a person was born without Autism or if they have it, they would be the same person but would behave differently. People would disagree with me but I think a person is not defined by a condition they have regardless of what it is. Your conditions effect your personality but you're still the same person. I wouldn't be upset if someone called me autistic but it would make me uncomfortable, not because I have any kind of issue with autistic people but because I don't want people to make assumptions or put limitations on me that I may either nor struggle with or may be able to overcome. I once met a man who had a traumatic brain injury (not making a comparison) and he acted in a way that could be described as "strange" if you didn't know his story. His movements were awkward and he couldn't speak. He was the same person he used to be before the accident but his mind and body were different. The same is true with Autism. It effects the way you think, feel and behave but it doesn't make you something other that the person you were born to be. Some babies reach their milestones then have a regression expressing autistic charactistics they didn't have before. They didn't become a different person. If I didn't have Autism, I'd be the same person but I would see the world differently and not have the same kinds of struggles. I don't want to offend people but that's the way I see it. I want people to know me for my personality, achievements and interests, not as "an autistic person"

As someone with autism myself I feel that it does not matter at all if you say autism or autistic. Although growing up I used to feel offended whenever someone asked me if I'm autistic, I no longer care if someone refers to me as being autistic or having autism. And I haven't cared in a very very long time if anyone refers to me as autistic or having autism. And I feel that I was being a little too sensitive back when I used to feel offended whenever someone asked me if I'm autistic.

Merhabalar emek verilerek hazırlanmış bir içerik olmuş ellerine sağlık devamını beklerim kolay gelsin yolun açık aydınlık olsun Allaha emanet ol..

I fully agree that it doesn't matter which way you say this, but I also disagree with you talking down hate speech in a way. Yes, of course some people get overly offended, but in some cases being offended is fully reasonable.

I have had some people tell me that I was not normal because I have autism. I always ask what is normal. Being a person that has autism that is normal to me.

❤️🎈🌹

I think it depends on the context. tbh I don't have strong preference as long as the people mean well. sadly some people use "autistic" as a slur and that's not okay, but also if you say *"that person has autism"* (similarly to *"that person has a broken arm"* or *"that person has a stomach ulcer"* ) for example it can imply that that there's something wrong and sick about them...Something that has to be healed, which is not the case. Yes, autistic people sometimes need help or accommodations but we aren't sick. At least for me personally...if the surroundings are good and supportive I can be just as capable as any neurotypical person. We don't need to be healed from autism, it's part of who we are, how we think and how our brains work. EDIT: you gotta talk about it in some way though, to let people know in certain situations. A lot of people don't really understand when you say you're on the spectrum, because the term and concept is not very well known in the general public where I live. EDIT2: Maybe it's because I am not American, but I don't feel people are higher sensitive than they were in the past. I think in the past, people were much more sensitive regarding other people's lives. Like they would be angry and hurt people that were different (either neurodivergent or had different skin colour or accent)or had different ways to live their lives. Nowadays less people care if their neighbour has a Jewish partner or lives in a polyamorous relationship or are asexual...they're much more relaxed. there's less parents sending their kids to shock therapy or cast out their minor children because of them trying to find themselves. It's never perfect of course, but I rather have discussions about terminologies like this than about whether it's okay to stop loving and caring for your child just because it doesn't fit the day dreams you had about their lives...may it it be because they're trans, autistic or just wanting to study music instead of medicine.

I think some people thrive on drama and "being offended". I have an assistance dog (service dogs and called assistance dogs in Scotland) and people are so toxic online in groups and gatekeep when people are new and get their pants in a twist if somone calls it a service dog or lables (literly in the case of dogs) wrong. Label your dog what ever the **** you want cos it makes no diffrence excpt in law (like if you got a lawer and persued a shop through the cival courts blah blah) but I people should use whatever language and words they want and it mattera not if the person next to you wants to use diffrent words and language. As Ian says it means the exact same thing and who even cares.

Txh you too

I just commented on another person's video that there is no central autism word police or law department dictating or defining what's right and what's wrong to say. It comes down to personal preference and IMHO creates division and exclusion. I was just told I can't say 'stim' anymore!! SMH that's where I crossed the line. 'Special needs parent' is also not okay now?? I can't keep up and it makes me not want to interact or stay passionate about assisting the autism community (or the community of autistic people lol). You can't please everyone. With that said, I highly discourage people from telling me what NOT to say if its preferential because it doesn't make me want to listen to you or interact with you. It does the opposite and makes me annoyed, irritated, or frustrated. There are different ways to share your opinion and kindly suggest or recommend the terms you prefer (which might be more widely received). Don't just say you are wrong and I am right!! Just my opinion. 🤍🤍🤍 Lots of love.

Me and my son both say we are autistic as we are both comfortable saying that but we are comfortable with others saying they have autism.

0:33 rip Headphone users oh I’m one of them LOL 😂

I am your subscriber. Can you plz suggest Any medication for my autistic child. We are depressed a lot on his condition. Kindly suggest.

I prefer I’m autistic but that’s me.

I prefer to put my own spin on it, I call myself el autismo.

Evander lol

This state of being offended at everything is ridiculous.

I prefer autism because so many mispronounce or mis-hear autistic as artistic, I would not like being called an artist because most artists I have known were so vain.

I have autism when I get mad one time a got in a fight and I called the kid in my class a asshole and I go talk to therapy and health desk

Some people live poor and miserable lives and need to feel good about themselves by raging against others. That being said, polling black people on what they like to be called does show some naivety, and people will often lash out at naivety even if it is sincere.

It's just language games for activists to manipulate with.

your internet presence is insufferable tbh.

Aloha I love you I found you @karl Roc.