I experienced that quote

I honestly hope it's true... I have 2 friends I decided to put my foot down on because... let me set the scene: it's a friday night, and your playing video games over voice chat with 2 of your friends, and then you start talking, cracking jokes, and then they decide to team up on you in a minigame and say how bad you are at the game, they've been doing this for a couple months now, and that's when me being me, I decide I've had enough and I exit the game, leave the voice chat, and block them, it's been this way for a weekend as of when I'm writing this comment. I have class with one of them tomorrow and I feel it necessary to walk up to him and say "Dude, you need to understand there's a difference between being an ***hole and cracking jokes about someone. And if you want to keep being an ***hole that's fine with me if you don't want to be my friend I'll find better ones, because our friendship is in a condition that I'm not afraid to let go of it if I have too."

But only until you graduate. After that none has time for anyone ✌🏼

It’s true!!

Did not work for me. I had to get rid of three friends over the last two to six years. No new friends appeared.

I hear u

@Michelle Dube well said... My attitude basically👌🏼💯

Especially, if your friends use you as their therapist

I agree to you im now cutting my connection to my toxic friends because i always feel stressed and sad inside but now i dont regret doing it.

Wow I feel exactly the same thing about some friends.

U dont put in any feelings?

Such a wise way to look at life

@@springal3139 Non-attachment doesn't mean no feelings. It means not attaching to a particular outcome. There is a difference between connection and attachment. Connection is closeness. Attachment is making someone or something responsible for your happiness.

Tis is good.👍

So true…. Such a powerful message. 👍

@@SuperKarineka Thank you Karla for your kind words. May you have a wonderful 2021

😀😀

That is truly sad and it makes me wonder how many of those 600 people let him know when he was alive, just how much he meant to them.

@@NoMoreTears64 Urban, He was being sarcastic. To this day I think his comment about having 3 friends is pretty funny.

Pat Kelly totally. What a douche

Pat Kelly what a lesson. a friend NOT giving you a reference. Did you see that coming?

That's not a real friend! Surely your friend is just 30 yrs of a season. In my case I gave my friend a great job reference and help answered the long essays but in the end , my friend just throws me under the bus. It is too much of a pain but I know I will be over one day.

What a 🐕

Cant give you a reference?! Oh hell no! Time to dump her

What if your friend doesn't want to see you in the future? They might not be interested in you. Just be friends with either a dog or your belongings; they're better.

Most cases it is self driven

Thank you. Thats what I needed in my situation .

😔

You did the right thing don't worry. I did the same exact thing to my friend and I feel much better. It's better than being ignored/toxic relationship

Caitlin Christian People change. They are not their former selves worth putting effort into (even family members)

Caitlin Christian I just went through the exact same experience. It's hard, but necessary. Good luck to us both in finding a new friend to replace the lost one.

This exact thing happened to me

Same, and I can't stop crying right now.

I don’t believe it’s healthy to invest in a one sided non reciprocal relationship

Behave like a doormat, get treated like a doormat

Nonsense, far too many older people seem to act as though they must be in charge and you must alter your schedule to suit them. Many of us work and still have family obligations . We would like to include them in many activities but they don't seem to want to give a little take a little.

Moya Montgomery 40 years for me. Never cared if I was included in plans because of another persons dislike for me. I don’t even know why

Its sad life changes people....I known a friend since I was 12! now 60 and she doesn't want to know me.....things were not the same after my Brother was killed and she wasnt there for me, and she know my Brother,......who can you trust who really comes from the Heart ??? I don t know...

Wow. And here I was feeling bad about letting go of two friends I've known for 11-15 years. I think what happened is that as I have reached menopause and realize my life getting shorter, that I will not and cannot put up with lack of respect or verbal attacks over random things anymore. I gave too many chances and either they kept doing the same things or they were incapable of examining their own behavior and just made excuses for always blowing me off and finally betraying me out of self-centeredness. And what has come of this, is that I am now examining more closely, other friends I have for less years. I am more discerning about men I date and potential new friends. As I fix areas of my own life in sincere ways that have needed tending for years (especially in terms of my own self-worth and self-care,) I am finding myself setting myself apart from more people and reconciling with old friends and strengthening those relationships. I hate to say this, but I am not into spending time around losers anymore and I have my own set of criteria as to what that means for me, personally by now. I don't want to be influenced. I want to find friends who are clean and sober (or mostly,) and who are doing the best they can on a day to day basis and taking their lives seriously in important ways.

Life is ever changing and remaining in friendships that are toxic hinders emotional growth. Clip their wings and let them fly away

Well done !!! I need to do it

When you're ready, the right friends will come. Sometimes we can't even see they were already there.

Friends like that are high maintenance, friendship should be easy and comfortable

Yup, I also ignore my gut feeling towards certain friends and years later it got messy but I’m glad about it though because it was time and I was so tired of being taken advantage of. Learned my lesson to always listen to that gut feeling and to your parents as well. Man my parents both warned me about one of them

Welcome. Be nice to yourself, self-love is the key to an open heart to others.

simoxnia I

Meet me i am intrested 😍😍❤❤🌷🌷

I have an analogy, some people are teapots and some people are cups. Teapots always know how to fill cups, but cups by their very nature, are just not able to fill you as a teapot. You need to find the lesser spotted kettle. They exist. These kettles get filled up by the wonders of life, they feel love for everything including themselves and they don't need filling by people. Aspire to be a kettle and bring more people into your life who are until you do xxx

Hi Ella. I am in a same situation. We used to be together almost 24/7. I used to call her soulmate. I thought we were supposed to be friends for life. But then someday...... she started distancing me, avoiding me. She wasn't that much intimate with me like before. She left me without any explanation. I tried to talk with her so many times, but she refused to talk to. I was not giving up. College got closed due to Covid since March. I used to call her to know if she was doing okay. She would pick up the phone...but talked as if I was disturbing her. Our phone calls would last for 15 seconds, 20 seconds, 1 minute (maybe the highest was 5 minutes). And it was I talking the whole time. Then I stopped calling her as I thought it's better not to disturb her. From the beginning of our friendship she always talked so less. I thought I was bullying her...I shouldn't have complained why she was talking so less. I started blaming myself. Thought I was being toxic. Was that true?...I don't know....maybe..or maybe not. I started researching about psychology. I tried to find an explanation for her behavior in every way I can. I thought she was emotionally distant. She wasn't ready to open up. Ok I have to accept that. I will be supportive towards her. I didn't talk to her for 1.5 months in this lockdown. Then oneday she texted me...asking how I was doing. And how happy I was! She contacted me on her own! Now it's November. And I'm thinking about ending the friendship. I have tried in every way to understand her better. I tried to be a better friend. But she never helped me in this course. Someday she would talk so well with me, then other day she will be nowhere to be found. Ignoring my messages, not replying to my messages. Or replying tooo short. What I feel upset about is she never tried to understand me. She doesn't share with me. I thought she was emotionally distant, she has difficulties opening up.........but she is not like that with her other friends. She does this only with me. I know so less about her. At the beginning of our friendship I thought she cared. But it doesn't seem so now. I don't really know her. She is different person in different times. And I'm done trying to know her. I told her so many times she was my best friend, she's like my soulmate. That I love her so much. But she never told me any of this sort. I asked her if she thought me as a best friend. She asked instead if it mattered I was her best friend or not. People have to earn certain things. She had to earn the title of best friend. But I willingly gave it to her...without any big effort from her part. And yes, this was my fault. I tried to earn the spot of best friend in her life, but for some unknown reason couldn't. I have gave so much effort, tried so hard.........now I actually feel so devastated by her flighty behaviors. It's time to stop. I feel bad thinking about all those friends I had in school. I didn't keep a steady contact with them after moving to college and finding this very "best friend". They still love me, still care for me. I should have cared for them more. Because they know the meaning of caring. They know how to value friendships. Maybe they don't have a mesmerizing or mystical personality (like this friend). Maybe they are nothing but ordinary. But they are my friends, they are unique, they are blessings in my life. They love me and I will love them too. Don't be upset. Everything will be alright. Thanks for reading this far.

@@arunimachakraborty4596 wow thank you that’s really helpful because I thought it was just happening to me but I guess not... she ignored me for a few months then she called me and said shes been busy, lately she just seems to show up at my house with her boyfriend un announced then say she’ll call me in the morning and she never does, just ignores me for another month... I wish I could cut her off to stop her hurting me like this but everytime she does come I’m so happy even though she’s cutting my 7 hour of sleep short😂 but a few weeks ago I told her a secret and I just really wanted some support as I wasn’t in the best of places, I waited 5 hours for her and drank a bottle of vodka then passed out for 2 hours and when I woke up she hadn’t even text me to say she’s not coming. And I just cried for like 3 days, she didn’t call me or text me yet when I say I wanna end our friendship she says I’m her one and only best friend she loves me bla bla bla all that bs it’s either that or she gets angry at me for “making everything about me” from reading this you probably think she’s just a shitty friend who put an act on for a while but really she didn’t use to be like this she’s changed

@@ellasmith6230 Is it her first relationship? First boyfriend?

24/7 is unhealthy, sort yourself out

That person was, more than likely, a narcissist who succeded in insolating you. Do NOT blame yourself.

+Heidi Tran Well done! I'm going to create a remote workshop on this subject. Join my mailing list on www.beckywalsh.com to get an invite xx

Yea let her go... she says that because she wants to use you for later for her own good

Heidi Tran god I think I need to do this too but I'll have 0 friends after that...I wonder if being in a bad friendship is better or worse than having no one at all.

Heidi Tran I

Yup, I had a friend/relative like this. She would work so hard to keep me in her life and when I would forgive her, she would go right back to ditching me, making up excuses for why she couldn’t hang out with me, was never there for major events. She still tries to contact me and idk why!!

Well u merry me 😍😍😍😍😍❤🌷🌷🌷🌷

Thiss😌

Same. Had a gf who was like a sister. I have different world views so she completely cut me off. Painful.

It is sad. Time is the most precious thing. People who waist it, waist your life. Who's got time for that!

@@BeckyWalshcom You understand!! Well said. I did feel like I was wasting my life. Hopeful that we would be great friends, but it amounted to nothing.

Waste....waist is around your midsection

Do whatever you think is right ☺️☺️☺️

Who betrayed you Donald Trump? Hilary? BADUM TSSS

Merry me am single really 😍😍💑💑❤❤🌷🌷

That's all you can do. Wish people well :) xx

Just had to get that off my chest

Thank you. I had no idea how helpful this film would be when I made it :) It's good to know.

Well said

Where? I feel like I’m always the one reaching out.

Nikki K how did it go? I feel the same, I think I have to end what I though was a good friendship this week too.

@@ando1135 It's good to know that I'm not alone.

@@scara_escape_artist yes, she was and is seeing a professional to help with her depression.

That would have helped her depression alot

It happened with me also. I didn’t realise it first but then I had to distance myself .

Konrad Kamiński hey how has it been going? I feel like I was you and I still cant let go of this friend.. i want to let go

At least you had an awareness of what you were doing. Most do not , ignoring the emotional distress they cause others

Just to add... she didnt actually do anything wrong, she just didnt have the same values in a close friendship as me. Close friends ARE FAMILY and you dont not keep in touch with family or many other things she did...

Well come you relationship with me am single 😍😍💑💑❤❤🌷🌷

Tessa Dunkley you are both selfish friends who only cares about themselves. I met your kind who are self centered

@@back2the80s i am far from self centrered... but i admire your ability to judge someone within a minute.

@@back2the80s i help people all the time... i go out of my way... however when i am mentally drained and exhausted and needing space i will take it. simple as that... and ive met your sort before.. emotional sulkers... guilt trippers... far more self centrered than a person who knows how to set boundaries .

Becky Walsh that was so funny when I heard the snoring! I was checking post to see if I was the only one! Thanks for the video. I just cut off my best friend of 15 years

Well you merry me i love u forever 😍😍💑💑❤❤🌷🌷

What about the people who they will do the same thing to next? If it's a person who can listen, tell them. You allow them to change for future people that way. I'm so not a fan of ghosting, the withdrawing of attention is used as punishment that has no positive change at the end of the punishment, just confusion and hurt. The people who ghost just can't be arsed or our not brave enough. I know when things are super toxic than you can get into a conversation loop and you have to ghost, but do try the conversation way first when you can :)

If you've tried to tell the person that they need to change and it's not happening, walk away. If a person is dangerous (mentally, physically, emotionally) to your health, I think it's ok to ghost. Just cut ties. I've had to end a friendship like that. As painful as it is, it was worth it to my mental health.

I am in a similar place and grieving as well. I chose to walk away from my childhood best friend and it definitely was a difficult decision. I tolerated certain things that were hurtful out of fear of losing her. I put in the effort to initiate challenging conversations when I felt the vibe was off. Over time, I began to realize I was emotionally drained from the relationship. No one should have to dim themselves in any relationship to feel seen/heard. It has also been an introspective time for me to look within and forgive myself for not having the courage to walk away sooner. To answer your question, I believe the only way to get over it is to allow the feelings/emotions to come. Do not rush the healing process as painful as it is. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself and know you are worthy of genuine/healthy relationships.

Well sounds like the position a bitch would take. Self centered and egocentric.

Exactly, people change throughout their lifespan, and we have to go along with it

😍😍😍💑❤🌷

I'm pleased it makes you feel better. It is tough. Everyone has their own path and it's hard to show someone your perspective when you are elevated a little higher towards love than fear. Let people go with love and love yourself harder when you do!

Your English is great! When's someone is popular, they can feel like they 'don't have to try'. So they don't have to listen, because the world revolves around them. It's a shame because they end up with shallow friendships. I don't think you need a dramatic break-up with her. In fact, you're most likely to do that because you want to teach her how to be a better person. That's not your job, she will learn when she sees you being your fabulous self with other friends and then she will miss what she had. So make more friends. I did it by joining a drama group at school. Find something to join. Common interest makes deep bonds. Focus on what your needs are and going and find ways to make them happen. Good luck x

You know what you need to do. It might not be the end. Just enough breath to make a change!

It can be super hard. I feel for you. Stay strong.

ando1135 I am here.

I hate to tell you this as it's going to make me sound old!!! But you grow and change fast at your time of life. I went through friends like loo roll. You learn from everyone (friends not loo roll) so enjoy them and move on when it's time. That transition slows down when people get a good grip of who they are and their values. xxx