Grey rock!

yellow rock? lol idk! i just am civil and direct bc i have to have some form of communication, that one day will not be tied legal wise. i am learning a lot of skills but getting out was the first step to growing in any form of this patience, and acceptance to work with people who truly don’t want to work with you and never let a moment slip they find to try to distract everything you’re building or have built. strict routines helped me once i got in my new environment. it’s always easy to be civil in a text. calls are not necessary unless it’s preferable or emergency

AMEN!

I agree

Yup🎯✅

22 years? OMG! M ex is every king of narcissist there is all bottled up in one! He just left to go to Chicago for a friend to work . Said he'll be back, but where I stay , the people don't want him to come back, he knows he not welcomed there but he works his way in with the elderly lady I work for, I live here , he won't get out she has to get an eviction notice to get him out! Says he ain't going no where, follow wherever I go, and I've been asked to leave there. Well I'm standing my ground. But does it really take 22 or more years to recoup?? L. J.

How?? Can you give me any tips on how to become indifferent? 8 yrs together, 4 days No Contact.

YOU Got To Be Patience IT'S Like A Addiction! You Got To Gradual Go Through Withdrawal. Like A Cut Or Sore Daily Heal With Tender Care Medicine. Healing Kind Words Of Encouragement Constantly.

You have to work through the pain and emotions, the long, hard way. Sorry. It took me more than a decade, but you have the advantage of knowing what it is. You’ll get there much faster! Don’t give up, because victory is worth the price.

Amen ❤

Thank you for that.

I heard that one from Mental Healness in an interview with what's her name on Dr c's channel maybe?

Who said there was a trauma? How do you know why they are that way? They could have had perfect parents, a perfect life and just been a narcissist SOB. You honestly don't know "why".

Out love the trauma that made somebody a narcissist? What does that mean? Abstruse sentence, can one talk a little more simply?

I still do not understand the meaning of "out love" Does it mean to love too much or stop loving? Can you be synthetic in explaining?

I always thought I could love somebody into good mental health. You can't. The game changer is when I accepted that I cannot love somebody into having good mental health.

You are very strong. That’s great👏👏👏👏 as a survivors we can control our feeling towards the abuser.

Good for you!! 😎

Have u considered blocking the narc? Avoid temptation.

I wonder what he wanted? Seeing if there was a chance! Nae chance pal!

@@trinap.8904 They always find a way around the block. Mine actually walked into my place after I ignored her, blocked her and tried to move on. Talk about a risky hoover!

That happened to me!

Same here, exactly, even the year and a half part.

I love how you said, "thriving or crumbling" - I feel the exact same way about my narcissistic sister.

Nice

Crumbling more like it, we're thriving! I'm glad you're over him and 18 months isn't so bad, long, you gotta go through... Many never achieve it I'm sure! You got your freedom, checking into what he's up to isn't being free!

Awesome!

She is mothering us.

@@lindawise5546 In a sense: any good, empathic therapist will make a priority of teaching a patient whose childhood was inadequate to toxic to learn how to reparent themself, and will often model the kindness and caring of a nurturing parent in the course of so doing.

Ñp

Yes! 🎉

It means survival.

Yes! 🎊🎊🎊

One thing that helped me is to realize that there are people out there who are going to hate you and mistreat you no matter what you do, or how good of a person you are, or what you achieve. So why even care what they think?

16 years of No contact with my family.

Only a couple of months full No Contact for me. It takes that long (so many years) to no longer feel some anger and the other emotions? LOL. I can't wait for the indifference to hurry up and sink in :)

Indifference feels wonderful! Just continue enjoying your life :)

Good on you mate. We got this.

Brilliant way to think of these rubbish people! Yes if it wasn’t us it would be someone else! Wishing everyone in this community the best!

+

1cpascal_I agree that once you know what sort of person you are dealing with any argument they make or opinion they have falls apart. I always reaffirm to myself that they are mentally ill so what they say and think doesn’t matter.

Thank you for that. Every time I was emotional abused, I just tried harder. Therapist says thats my 'pleaser' attachment wound developed from a long marriage to a narcissist (attachment wound vacillator who ruminates on the negative, always a victim)

Thanks for this...

Exactly this. The process is subtle and the chances are that indifference will have settled in without you being aware of it happening.

Time helps. What's the saying, "time heals all wounds"? I don't know if that's true, but the passing of time does seem to lessen the acute pain.

Love this!

Well said

Brilliant comment

yes visualizing these sort of things do help

Meaningless speck of atoms ⚛️😄👏🏼

Liz Francis, omg this is one of the funniest and most spot on KZfaq comments ever!!! 🤣 Thank you so much! I laughed non-stop for at least 3 mins 😄 So happy for you that you managed to get to this point 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I'm getting there too!

Your silence is a beaming spotlight and all their power shrinks you can literally see it happen so amazing and freeing

♥️♥️♥️♥️ I feel the same!

Is cult-like. Yep, Dr R's videos refresh your memory!

I was afraid of being caught listening too

Same. When I’m about to cave, I watch a Dr Ramani vid ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Same here. Amazing what she does to the self esteem of us victims by the narcissist. She validates so much and more

IB Kay- perfectly said. I’m in that place too right now…disappointment, betrayal and sadness. So grateful to Dr. Ramani and this community of survivors. Knowing I’m not alone has helped me keep going and be more gentle with myself.

So true. Sometimes i get angry and want revenge. Hours later i laugh at those thought. Ive already won. Nothing to prove.

You are so right!👍🌹

If there was a god, there wouldnt be narcs.

@@JudeScott007 God does exist. Narcissists exist because Satan exists. The Bible states that Satan is the father of lies. The spirits of lying, deceit, and manipulation come from Satan.

I whole heartedly agree!!!

Same for me. Hate destroys you. Whereas indifference frees you up and just feels so much better.

@@sandrahealy552 It depends on the situation you are. Sometimes hatred can be very empowering and help you to do great things.

@@ezequielmca4385 I know what you mean…I used to have nightmares that I murdered him and then I would reflect on that and think ‘Wow, these feelings of hatred are truly affecting me’!! It was so hard for me to cope with all of it. My brother gave me an analogy to use to help me overcome my emotions: Think of your feelings towards him like a light switch….turn the light OFF. I had to visualize an actual light switch whenever I had to be in his presence. Guess what…it worked!!! No Light/No Energy :) Just nothing. That was years ago, I’ve moved on with my life and I’m happy to say that I’m totally indifferent to him. Very liberating indeed.

I’d say it’s in the middle of the 2

Love and hate are 2 sides of the same coin. Either, means you are still emotionally involved with or affected by them. Indifference means they no longer have power to affect you emotionally, which is a really good place to be.

You can expect a much quicker cycle because they discard at indifference. It's low supply ...

@@trinialexander8036 I hope you’re ok?

@@trinialexander8036 You haven't done anything but maybe get taken in by someone who's an expert at taking people in.

@@trinialexander8036 this is exactly my position. i’ve also been feeling on edge in my daily life because the monster inside of them is getting bigger. it’s unsettling

Same here- married to the narco -(28yrs)- The demon(sorry-that is what it was.The narco triangulated my son against me- It is painful to go through the process- but time- does slowly Heal -but what really helped me was -faith/ prayers/ determination-educating myself I numbed myself with reading about this disorder& its dark destructive force-now after 5yrs of non stop work -that not only me to get out of this- but now how can I help others.-Everybodys healing- towards Indifference is unique.

I am out 2 years from a 22 year marriage to a narcissist. He was my first and I’ve known him for 28 years. It’s so painful to think of the wasted years. He also triangulated one of my children against me so their is a lot of loss. I know that indifference is the way and I am working hard to fully get there. It feels like living and recovering from this is my life’s work.

I've been divorced from mine for 28 yrs. He's vindictive & also still tries to make things difficult. Distance, lots of distance and no contact helps greatly! Also, indifference.

Thank you for praying. I do that as well. I also pray for those I don’t know who are on this journey. And it is a journey. Every little aspect of our lives is affected by a Narcissistic parent. God Bless

@@lloyannehurd I pray too, the Holy Spirit heals. I even pray for the narcs even though it is emotionally hard to do so. I'd rather smack them than pray for them lol. But seriously they probably need prayer and maybe nobody else prays for them...

@@stephanie3848 This is a hard thing to do. We are asked to pray for them but this doesn’t mean we have to stay around them or accept their behaviour in any way. Doing good to them can mean using tough love. Mathew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Ameen!

That was literally my question, but I haven't sent it 🤣🤣

I’ve been with my narcissistic husband for almost 15 years and I’m learning to become indifferent. It’s so incredibly hard but there are a few things I just can’t let go of or forgive. I’m still with him for financial reasons and our children and I am curious how you got to this point! Can you give me any advice????

How? How to become indifferent?? It's very new, this no contact. Have you any tips on becoming indifferent?

High ten!! That's huge!!!

Yes, high 5 to you✋! I am almost there!💪❤

This is exactly what I needed! Just relapsed and have been stuck in euphoric recall/rumination 24/7. Knowing it’s possible to heal and remove them from your thoughts is so reassuring and comforting to hear. Thank you!

Very well said. The freedoms felt after learning to focus on my journey, not theirs, is the indifference that illuminates my soul. Life is good. It is no longer my loss.....it is theirs! Soaring to new heights.

I chose to forgive in spite of the fact no apologies or ownership was ever made. Genuine forgiveness is freedom which allowed me to become indifferent. Forgiveness is like kryptonite.

Can’t help but hear my wise mother say; “abusers teach you how to hate them”! I don’t hate my x but I do not have empathy anymore. He exhausted my empathy.

There are loving people out there who deserve and will give back all the love and care we show to others!

Hmm. Inner peace. That's a long way away for me...I only have to see my.mom and I lose the plot lol

So right. You can’t fix the narcissist, you can’t help the narcissist, all you are to them is a source of narcissistic supply. And so yeah it really doesn’t matter why they are the way they are. If you can get out, do it.

Pray you stay stronger on your journey.

That’s what I struggle with is rumination. Good luck 🍀

@@aliceroberts1980 for you it's real. For IT, it wasn't. I pray you heal soon and find beautiful self again. Inshallah.(God willing) ameen 🙏

Yes Cren and Alice, ruminating is a problem, one I have intermittently. I’m about 2 months new to these vids, channels. The problem I have multitudes in is that I keep “friending” the same narcissistic type people! It’s like their brains are the same but the faces and bodies are different. I got rid of one, only to make a “friend” of a similar. Long story. But after recognizing narcissism, getting rid of the narcissist “friend” I identified, I ruminate over past relationships. The one “friend” I met seemed so great at first. Then during a full out expensive party I threw, ruined other party goers pleasure by making the people view a stupid website. Then came the ranting, “I’m related to the true royalty of England, you think you have… I have better…, oh guess what I did, just look at that crap in the toilet!” I still can’t believe it. I just want to not put myself out there again. I’m sure almost every spouse or friend of a narcissist has gone through similar events being ruined as there are so many comments about narcissistic family members making peoples lives miserable, especially around the holidays. So many have broken the chains. I need to stop making the chains.

@@mqua4610 I can totally feel you and relate. My guess, like with many people who visit Dr. Ramani’s KZfaq videos, is that you’re an empath. There’s a really good KZfaq channel that’s called, “empaths exposed”. It’s definitely worth looking into as well. We attract narcissists like bees to wildflowers. My heart goes out to you. Good self-care ensures we will win in the end.🙏🏽

I've been considering blocking my brothers number but I am a partner in the inherited family business. im trying to figure out how to get out

@@sandrawamerdam2219 I wish I had used an attorney to communicate. "Your number has been blocked, but you can leave a message at _________ etc. It's all so awful. Bit I'm really close to indifferent.

@@sandrawamerdam2219 I can’t imagine the pain you’re dealing with everyday being associated w/ him by a business. My brother is 3 years older than me, started scapegoating me, smear campaigns, covert narcissist stuff before I turned 4. My 1st memories are trauma bond memories and caused the most messed up cognitive dissonance where love is concerned. Even now when I’m finally happy, I can’t date because of my addiction to toxic relationships. The only feelings I remember as a child were confusion, guilt for making him angry all the time (even though the problem wasn’t mine) and anger at myself for not being able to open my mouth that seemed to be krazy glued shut. It wasn’t for another 36 years that I finally started to see myself for the emotionally impressive person I am. All it took was almost 4 decades of abuse, 4 extended psychiatric hospital stays, 2 toxic marriages, one ending in divorce and the last being widowed after he overdosed in front of me and our 4 year old for me to finally get trauma therapy. I didn’t see my son for almost a year while in treatment. I’m sad at the 40 years I hated myself, the self medicating i did from the emotional pain & complex ptsd, the trauma bond that caused me to put him on this high pedestal while he was twisting my mind using his malicious plots to try to get me to commit suicide. His covert triangulation & smear campaign plots were so perfect by the time I was 13, both our parents were convinced I was an insane troublemaker, the black sheep of the family and he was the victim/hero (he loved swooping in last minute to demonize me & save our mom after secretly starting the fights in the 1st place). I should hate him. I should be bitter but indifference is much better. I’m too stubborn to let him ruin anymore of my life with those negative emotions. I get sad occasionally when something reminds me of the abuse but it took me 7 years to process the anger and bitterness that built up over all those years and it was not easy. Indifference is such a hard healing stage to get to but it makes life much better. I’m happy even though I’m a reclusive cat lady that lives, works from home and homeschools my autistic 11 year old. I don’t think I’ll ever want to be around people again but that’s not surprising considering I am pretty much a toxic abusive personality magnet - relationships, friends, you name it. I’ve been no contact for 4 years and after 7 years of building trust back with my parents, I was finally able to tell them what he did to me and be believed. I am the only one of us that stuck around to care for them in their old age, though so there’s that too. He pops in their life a couple times a year but I’ve been very clear with my no contact emotional boundaries and they’re more than respecting them. They even added some protections in their will, making me the executor and he’s only allowed to communicate with me through the attorney. Otherwise, he would definitely financially manipulate and abuse me out of whatever the inheritance is. Not many people understand the devastating terror of sibling narcissistic abuse. Most people talk about narcissist parents or lovers but the siblings are truly terrifying, who you’re around more than your parents or anyone else, often not having a chance to develop a healthy sense of self. My brother only being 3 years older gave him access to every single person I came in contact with from the time I was born and he didn’t waste time with neighborhood & school wide smear campaigns turning me into the annoying weirdo that the only people that wanted to be around me were his flying monkey’s that pretended to be my best friends so they could mess with, humiliate and abuse me. Of course I thought they were my best friends even while they were cruel to me and of course I thought it was my fault. I cry for that Selfless, intuitively empathic girl born 3 years after her entitled, endlessly selfish, covert narcissist brother that hated her guts from the moment she started breathing. I cry for her more than I should but it’s a lot less these days so 🫰

Smile - Charlie Chaplin... music heals

Agree 💯. I don't think it's possible to be completely indifferent while in the relationship or if it impacts loved ones, like children. But I also think there are degrees of indifference. And it's also ok to have good days and bad days, when indifference fluctuates; some days its just harder to be indifferent.

Oh my gosh yes

@@KAT-dg6el how do you do it when you have to bring your kids to him and stay in contact. I wasnt married with my ex. We do have a child together , I get disgussed when I have to meet him its so hard because how he still try’s to controle me in a sort of way and , wants to see whats up in my life , cuz he dont have nothing in how life. he is a miserable monster. He still do everything to make me mad , so he can feel good for him self and enjoy that it worked to make me hurt.

I am contemplating divorce (married 15 years) as I just realized the problem we have had all this time was generational NPD. It’s clear now as I watch these videos and others like them that he has these traits and the children and I have been abused in various degrees. I am petrified to leave and petrified to stay because I don’t know which one would prevent further damage to the children. My worst fear is that one or more of them will turn out to be NPD. How do I protect and nurture them, they are still so young? I am so afraid that if we divorce he will triangulate them and turn them against me.

@@nottherealmccoy9862 my heart goes out to you. How are you doing two months later? My advice is go "grey rock" with him, keep educating yourself on NPD, and plan for your independence because he will most likely discard you after you "grey rock" him. Best wishes to you and your children. There are so many excellent people on u-tube educating us on how to deal with narcists.

Perfect analogy

@@SweetGothic16 thank you so much☮💜🛐

How beautiful ❤️

@@headinthesound ty☮💜

Good analogy

BINGO! I decided to approach this as if I'm just a character in a play. And I can now view the situation from 'afar' and be amused by it. Great comment. I actually have been caught smiling, and a little laugh too now and again while being yelled at. Totally remove yourself mentally from the situation to observe the ridiculousness, the humor of it. It's funny but very sad at the same time.

Wow, that's amazing! Congrats :))

I enjoy it now cause my mother and her siblings have a little bit of it in all of them. The complete silence when eating at holiday dinners and lack of interaction was so confusing as a kid. Thank goodness there was a kids and adults table to eat at.

I'm super proud of you for this

That’s exactly where I want to get!!! I’m 30 and only recently realized my mom is a covert narcissist. Getting over it is one thing, but I’m terrified she’ll try to hurt or ruin my relationship with my extended family!!! I hope I can get there one day. Thanks for sharing that you did!! 💪

True. Imagine if you have a child that later becomes a narcissist due to the toxic parent. Can one really become indifferent towards a child; not sure that it's possible for some.

@@javiervidal366 I agree, indifference is not always possible, it depends upon a multitude of context.

I don't agree. What it takes is DECIDING that there are no connections remaining. Absolutely no attachments left.

And married for 30 years with two daughters and a grandchild, working together with saving big cats for almost 20 years, where do I go to, to go no contact or become indifferent, as his new girlfriend will also work with him now..only choice will be to leave the work I lived for😟

@@karenolsen2983 Wow! That is a lot! I'm sorry you're having to cope with such a difficult situation.

Happens a lot in this world, and all we can do is try to learn from it.

For me, it allowed the grief to be felt that I had buried for years since I had left him. His death was related to habits I tried to help him stop, but he wouldn't. But yes there was relief, and grief for the promise that never happened due to their narcissism.

Not appropriate to be happy at the funeral, but when you are alone, well that's another thing :) If you want to be happy, then imho you should let yourself do so. Why not? These people don't give a flying leap about your pain, who should you miss them?

@@engleharddinglefester4285 to be honest , I can understand that as well and I won't comdemn anyone if they actually do that if they feel to. It is every person's right to act out whichever way they wish. You did make me chuckle a bit when you said when you are alone, that is another thing though . I can't lie on that.

I was astonished at having no feeling finding out ny mom jad died (did not find out for year + later...narc sister no contact too). I didn't even cry. I tried, thinking I should, but couldnt. I felt guilty for proclaiming outloud "I'm free". Not now.

I don't know if this appropriate but our culture of today's world is commonly place the grief by someone ''s death. Is only the separation of the beloved one that hurts and legitimate grief. That's all. We all die in the end (even if I don't believe in death)) here on Earth.

I am going through this also. You are not alone.

What is your role in this Sandra? I don't mean to sound insensitive, genuinely curious. I don't believe in pure victimhood... We all play a role somehow..of course some of us less malignant than others

@@Babka113 i know I'm responsible for a part of this, although it's not all my fault. I stayed in an unhealthy marriage for too long. I was just very ignorant about the narcissistic spectrum. Now I'm understanding more about the damage it does. My other son and daughter are healthier than the baby daughter, 37

The youngest one was more spoiled than the other two, and grew up more"entitled". We were better off financially when the last one was born. And I spent less time dealing with her emotional development. She is very spiteful and wants to retaliate against perceived wrongs done to her.

Yeah, you could easily be speaking about me. Probably my mum sees me as narcissistic for not soothing her ego, for not wanting closeness. I tried no contact, because it's really hard to reach indiference when your parents are the abusers. They don't really accept no contact easily. I think that indifference is the healing but it's hard. I can tell you that as the child, you do have expectations in the relationship. Expectations in the sense of maturity and honesty. Maybe she just wants to understand some events. And coming from a family with at least one narcissist, then she has her frustration. She as Dr. Ramani says, feels robbed of her potential and not only that. If she gets stuck on that, then yes she may become narcisistic in tendencies. I use the term narcissist with care if it hasn't been diagnosed. But if she just gave up asking or retaliating, build her walls and turned her back to look at her now family instead of bringing the whole unsolved mess of her childhood into the mix, then I don't find it narcissistic. I find it survival. I don't want to ofend. I don't know your story, so I looked at what you wrote through the lenses of my experience

Soooo good to hear! My NM just did something 7 wks ago! I am in alot of pain and anxiety right now! Your comment helped me

@@kathypaquette9116 3 years in a different country,, underweight, lost hair, anxiety and all crazy kinds of illinesses..is what i got from my mother.. I am still wanting to be okay living a life she will not be involved in..and just be happy

You too? ... I don't know anything about you, of course, but I can certainly understand exactly what you're saying ... I suffered 62 & 63 yrs. of parental abuse bc both were ultra narcs ... But when she got dementia & he got cancer, I realosed that I just couldn't work up very much of a head of steam for either one of them. I just didn't care.

@@tarafoley6030 my mom passed away from lung cancer last year and I didn't even attend the funeral. One of my sisters, who is a nurse, cared for her until her death and I let her and my other two siblings split my portion of the inheritance because 1) I didn't want anything from her and 2) I felt like they deserved it for taking on that burden in my absence. Even though they all turned against me when I went no contact with our mother, 2 years before she was diagnosed. None of them ever even called me to tell me she was sick. Everyone can judge me all they want but they don't know or care about my side of the story and what that woman put me through. To this day I don't regret it because I did what I had to do to protect myself and she was a nightmare to deal with throughout her illness so I'm just grateful I didn't have to deal with it. At some point you have to say enough is enough and take whatever action is necessary to survive and protect your children from suffering the same abuse. Prayers that you find peace and healing!

@schoolofhardknocks I completely understand. Although, I cared for my mother until her mind completely ceased to function. This was for My self, alone. I treaeted her with unwavering kindness, patience, etc ... with cmplete detatchment. To demonstrate just how we should all treat those we're supposed to love. Her shame @ being treated so well, after the utter Hell she put me through, not to mention the permanent physical damage was very satisfying. It proved to me, ultimately, that: 1) It was All entirely deliberate & 2) She was a craven coward, jealous of my spirit. ... Sorry Cow!

I empathize with you, my friend. You may heal, but you still carry scars

Wondering if you were the one being accused of invalidating the N?

I think understanding is huge for me to get to that point.

This is an incredibly helpful perspective! Thank You!

Yes!!!!

I salute for this comment …..this has helped me for the past 3years….it actually takes years for this entire journey and awakening….all of this confirmation of our experiences is such a blessing .

2 Timothy 3 v. 1-5

@@kimgordon3695 We are already THERE. God bless you.

Lulu trust me I can relate and I’m so freakin happy for you that you got away!! It’s my turn soon! ❤I wish you love and light ! You are worth it

Bless you ❤

Thank you for this comment. I’m going through the exact same thing with my narcissistic ex. (And my covert narc mom who I am currently living with and taking care of, so I can’t go no contact.😩) I am also an empath so I keep forgiving my ex, because I felt “sorry for him”. But slowly and surely I’m getting to the point of indifference. I admit, I’m not there yet. It’s been 2 1/2 years since we’ve been together and coronavirus happening was a good excuse for me to keep contact with him and be his friend. But, like you said they inevitably start behaving badly. And then I go right back to square one of being hurt and drained of life-force energy. Hopefully in a few months I’ll be able to report back that I’ve cut all ties and I’m doing better than ever in my life. Dr.Ramani is the best. Bless your heart.

@@CgColleenGorman Thank you, I am glad you find the comment helpful. I understand and it is not easy, it takes time, it is a process. I finally cut all contact 100% after 13 months of breakup, and it feels good. It is easier for me because it was a long distance relationship, however healing has taken lots of work. I understand it may be more difficult for others, specially when the narcissist is a family member or a coparent. I wish you all the very best in the healing process, and hope things get better for you soon. Thank you so much for sharing your story 💜

I like your breakdown 😉

I have saved this response as it helps me understand the difference. It also helped me understand my fear of moving towards numbness. I do not want to feel numb whenever I am around them as it is a pretense and putting on of a mask or worse, being complicit in their wickedness.

Love this!

Good one!

Here! Here!👌

😁

Peaceful Warriers arise!!! Peacefully, of course. 😃 Love your comment!

Thank you for this comment!

Yes...indeed!!

Amen to that.

@Jane Doe I want to thank you for your great, very accurate and relatable feedback and gratefulness to Dr. Ramini. Your comment articulated what I wanted to say so well! I agree with you full heartedly!

@@vegancharlieleeblue thank you for being so kind, and thank you for understanding, too❤️

Thank God I began listening to you while still in the relationship. I began to understand what was happening & that it WAS NOT my fault! First emotional detaching & then finially physically moving out! It was very difficult after 14 years to be on my own, but I did it! This last video helped so much but close family & friends do not understand the after affects in me!

@@dawnsmith3331 your family and friends would understand a lot better if they went thru what YOU went thru . I certainly understand the devastation and destruction that comes with a narc. relationship - the aftermath can take YEARS to process . The damage done can affect ALL aspects of your life . We will never be who we were before our hellish experience .... Other people need to be gentle with that . I admire your courage , Ms. Dawn ! ✌️❤️

Yes, and most important for them to trust their gut feelings for any Red Flags. Your body is protecting you. WALK AWAY first time , save your Life. Young people need to learn, recognize and Avoid this Danger.

Sorry for the loss of your twin. Becoming indifferent about your ex, if you can get there, would be a real gift you can give yourself.

Thank you Apricot

It is shocking when you realize the true depth of evil. Most choose to not believe because it's easier to think that they can't be that bad. How could I have missed that for so long? So it's often easier to keep giving them the benefit of the doubt.

@@javiervidal366 You are so right Javier

Michele Stone Masterpiece,Hope you are not with a narcissist....

You need physical distance from them. It's impossible to achieve separation when you aren't really separate.

I was in the same boat but was able to convince my narcissistic spouse to sell the house and split the proceeds. I think it was his love of drama and chaos and his hubris/belief he could hoover me back, but once we were separated I could begin the healing process (to a degree, given how the divorce process meant his mask was OFF). Hang in there. One foot in front of the other. It gets so much better. Keep your eyes on the prize -- your freedom. ☮️

Yes, keep your eyes on the prize!

KJ Meer,You don't need a narcissist in your life.....

You must walk free.....🙏🙏🙏

I realized keeping friendship with toxic people harm myself. So I cut them off and stay no contact with them for 7 years.

Couldn't agree more...Dr Ramani is absolutely amazing at putting abstruct concepts into words, a simple sentence can encompass feelings I've had for years...she's a God sent lifesaver!