There are at least three different kinds of forgiveness: 1) Forgiveness and releasing/guarding the offending person from your life; 2) Forgiveness and allowing partial/distant connection with the offending person; 3) Forgiveness and full reinstatement/reconciliation of the offending person back into your life. WISDOM points to which kind of forgiveness is appropriate in a given situation.

You must always forgive because it s youre burden and its even selfish cause forgiving is for youreselve and nobody else and its a powerfull thing that make you rise above the person that you forgive

Yes immediately forgive yourself and your mind will toughen and you move forward.

​@justseekerlandingjessicala9335 Number work best for me.

@@JessicaJLandi I agree w/that. Once trust is broken, & you are repeatedly hurt by the same someone, or if there are too many character defects in one person, it is time to let them go permanently. I was naive & I was easy to forgive & gave too many chances to all the wrong people, & I thought I'll treat them the way I would want to be treated & expected the same in return & I learned that it may well be right, but it does not always come back. This whole law of you get what you put out is a very big lie as far as my experience goes, but now I try not to give as much as I want to at 1st, even though that is my natural inclination to just be that way. It feels strange, to hold myself back, it isn't normal for me, but it is safer.

Ahhh no. It's exactly to voluntarily trust again....yes by putting yourself in a vulnerable position....in the hope that this brings the best out of other people...that they won't just think..."naive fool" and use you, but will say courageously willing and meet you half way.

​@@benstrasdat6328you only as vulnerable as you make yourself. Yeah, trust voluntarily, but keep the betrayel of others as option in your mind. It happens and always will.

Did you mean 'not to never' instead of 'ever'? That makes a lot of sense 😅

To find motivation in a positive direction, it was they… that betrayed you… and that’s all you need to know, in order to rise up and rebuild yourself.

Me too.. I thought my role in life was to save everyone from anxiety by making a fool of myself and take the heat, then realized I was the one with anxiety and everyone thought i was a clown.

Same. Callously discarded when I wasn't a good enough pet.

Me too😔

​@AL lol isn't it weird how perspective works.

@@ifeawosika966 Yes it is 😄

Bravo! Well said! 🌻

Ah, yes, but see, to have that dynamic both people would have to possess a certain level of intelligence, a sense of the kind of long-haul dedication to one's personal growth and an understanding of the ultimate benefits one yields from a loving commitment to a relationship, as well as the willingness to believe in the other person and allow them their growth. Sadly, not all people have the insight to see, or the emotional wherewithal to chance, a true commitment to self AND other. Crazy in California! 🤪 Best!

Yes sir, self awesomeness, and discovering the love you can have for yourself is one of the greatest feelings one can obtain. If you feel lost, I hope you the best in your journey within yourself 🙏 and if you have yet to start, slow down, take a deep breath and pick one thing at a time within yourself, step by step. It really might be a little scary at first, but give it time, and put trust back into yourself 💙

It may be hard, but letting bitterness rot you from the inside is even harder in the long run. It's crucial to forgive. Forgiving doesn't mean letting toxic people back into your life. It just means letting go of what they did and not holding hard feelings. I say, forgive a weak man for doing weak things. I'm also that weak man and need forgiving too. I'm a woman, but that's the method.

@@saintejeannedarc9460 that person for me is my dad. I have to be around him because I take care of my elderly mom. He's filled with so much hate. He is very toxic but I keep trying in hopes he'll acknowledge his mistakes but he blames everyone but himself. Narcissism on top of that too. If she passes first then I probably won't see him again or as often. Sorry to vent.

@@shirleysays0129 It's very hard when it's a parent, or someone that close to you. You can't get them to admit their mistakes. All you can do is be civil and distant to erect boundaries. Accept how they are. Sometimes, but not always, the lack of defensiveness and the acceptance can help them to warm up a bit. Don't expect any different, so as not to be disappointed. If anything different ever happens now, it will be a very pleasant surprise, but if you're not striving for it, the disappointment can't continue to hurt you. God bless you for taking care of your mom.

@@saintejeannedarc9460 thank you. It's not easy but I'm trying.

@@shirleysays0129 I very much know it's not easy. I have a similar situation w/ my mom. Managed to let it go and it's better. Still get a wallop occasionally when I'm more fragile, but not like happened on the regular before. Esp. when I used to try to get through to her. I examined myself and saw where I fell short too and accepted she did the best she knew how, w/ how she is as a person. I found many things to be grateful and thankful for too.

Me too. I excommunicated most of my family as well.

Excuse my rudeness but, I don’t really think you understood the point Mr Peterson was trying to make here 😅

@天 Sato when a baby cries it wants or needs something. People have to open their mouths to be heard or get fed. When people open their mouths, it is to manipulate to get something that they desire. It can be as simple as attention. Very few people think and plan how they can do things for others. Many people think and plan how they can get something from someone or get someone to do something for them. Imo, you're not rude. It's your opinion. Once, I stopped bending over backward for people who were unthankful and ungrateful. I found my peace. And sanity.

@@jodyrobertson996 oh yeah definitely! If they’re ungrateful and you have to bend your self for them. I was just talking about so called “real” friends. Which I understand is extremely hard to find but, I think the point Peterson was trying to make was that isolating yourself from others the moment you get betrayed isn’t the way to go. But of course be careful on the people you choose. Which is why I’m kinda in a similar situation as you guys. I also have family I don’t get along with so completely reasonable. People blessed with “good” families always seem to say you never should discard them without realizing how blessed they were to be able to say that. Sry for the long text and wish you good luck in your life ✌️

@@sato1707 God bless you in Jesus Christ. May you have his peace and joy.

Det er godt sagt.😊

He learned that thought from Bible

He’s incredibly intelligent, wise.

​@@sandessarma1469 lmao

​@@westerlywinds5684 lmfaooooooo

Woah...nailed it.. but I can't land cynicism it doesn't compute

Absolutely they will devour the hand that feeds them.

And you will define narcissism in such a manner that you will be forced to recognise what? We all have narcissistic tendencies? Including yourself?

scary.... they are.

@@benstrasdat6328 I was the scapegoat child of a nasty narcissist. I've been in therapy for many years. You cannot teach me anything about them that I haven't experienced. Narcissistic traits, yes we all have them. At the same time, that doesn't cancel out the fact that some people ARE narcissists. Those are the ones I'm referring to.

​@@benstrasdat6328We all have "selfish" tendencies. It is a requirement for survival to prioritize one's own needs, which is why we honor as heroic those willing to sacrifice their lives for others. People are misusing the word "narcissm" when applying it to such normal and even necessary qualities. On the spectrum of behavior, one crosses into narcissm at the point when looking out for one's own interests turns into intentionally harming others, without remorse, in order to advantage oneself. The man who throws his innocent coworkers under the bus, metaphorically, to save his job, is on that line. If he does it to secure a better position for himself, he is crossing over into anti-social behavior. When this becomes his normal MO or, worse, when he even takes pride in his ability to lie and to destroy others for his own advancement, he has fully entered the realm of narcissm, which progresses on to sociopathy, or even psychopathy. It isn't always obvious to others, but narcissm includes not just a lack of remorse, but, eventually, an often well-hidden enjoyment of harming and destroying others, including anyone who tries to love him. Eventually hurting others, including and maybe even especially those closest to him, becomes even more important to the narcissist than advancing his own self-interest. People talk about the narcissist needing "narcissistic supply" - the (undeserved) adoration of others - but, from my personal experiences with narcissists, that becomes less important than destroying others. Perhaps this is the point where the narcissist crosses into sociopathy or psycopathy. It seems, however, that they realize that the adoration from others, based on their lies, ceases to be fulfilling. The illusion of power in getting away with truly torturing and destroying others evolves into a better supply for their insatiable need to feel superior and in control.

I refer to your comment at so much levels

I feel you! Definitely! 🌻

I am no longer cynical, I just don't get my expectations up, and I have the expectations that plans will be cancelled, so when it happens, it don't bother me so much. I don't borrow out things that are precious to me, and I don't spend a lot of time and effort into favors to people who wouldn't do what they ask for from me. So I am happy and joyful despite knowing that a lot of people egoistical and selfish.

Bro literally I was so close to some friends like super close and out of nowhere they all pushed me out of their lives essentially now its like I mever knew them and it really hurts

You're a realist. Cynicism is worse.

Yes amen to that

​@@Arthurwellesley12 fine but take care the don't crush you and cripple you...then you cripple and he evil....then they will crush you or for better leave you to die suffering👻🖤 🌷✌️

@@anerkant yupp and i agree. I still agree with what my comment Said to but i find it hard articulate what i try to get at so imma delete it atleast for now. But i agree that you should still be abit caucious & not open up the door fully to random people. If i can find the proper words i can always get at it again.

But yet sooo many

@J.L. Mc No

True

I watch Leatherhead Wildlife Aid. They get bitten, or nearly bitten, a lot. Helping may have risks. To be fair, it's not really a good comparison considering they are wild animals just trying to survive most of the time.

​@@TheModernMusicsucksoh so since we've evolved we've magically adapted entirely to this foreign society and lost all of animalistic tendencies like that? lol

@@r0e404 apparently so. I wouldn't really class many of us as 'wild animals', but I doubt our survival instincts have changed that much.

@@TheModernMusicsucksand so it is courageous. To know you can get bitten but to still extend love. Sometimes when someone is so hurt they mistake love for danger. Or have a hard time allowing themselves to be loved. And so it means a lot for me to continually courageously extend my hand despite what they may do to me.

To me life is just long enough to let you make a mistake : once. It is not long enough for you to keep making the same mistake over and over ; in my long life it has been my observation that human nature does not change very often, in other words if a so called friend lets you down once they will probably do it again. This has made me a kind of “three strikes” person , ie , let me down three times and I hit the delete button and it is final. Davox.

@@davidmartin1015 Excellent policy tbh... I never give up on a person but I will protect myself while I am waiting for them to grow up and that will often come in the form of distance...

That is very wise and I totally agree.

Thank you for pointing this out. I was taught this about trust as well.

Truer words spoken.. if a person is full of snakes, how does one call out the best in them?.. and most importantly how do we trust knowing what the person is already capable of. That’s just playing with fire

The thing about that, we are all full of snakes. But snakes themselves are not the threat. If you know the snakes are there, then they are predicable, and often even friendly. There is an old story of a serpent, a benevolent one, full of venom, but not wanting to cause harm, it broke out it’s fangs. only to be betrayed by the other serpents for being unwilling to contribute to their supposed purpose. And the people who were prey did nothing to help. The bad can’t be good, because both the good and the bad will eat them alive if they try. Two opposing sides who are the same. People are just people.

Cynicism or realism. He didn't really distinguish between the two. Cynics treat everyone as though they are snakes, but realists understand that there are snakes out there and that trust is earned not given.

Right on. This is more like it rather than what was said on the video.

More advice on this, please? Inching my way up the waterfall.

​@Julie G it means you'll gravitate towards like-minded people. If you're honest, you'll want to have friends who are honest and share your values. Godspeed on your journey ❤

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. The same happened to me with my son for 10 years. He eventually came around, but it will never be the same as it once was. That is the hardest part for me, the permanent change.

Breaks my heart for you. 💔 I pray you're reunited in love again one day. 🙏💞 Don't give up!

​@@abelovedflameIt's got to be unbearable. My heart goes out to you. I'm praying it will get better. Keep the faith! 🙏💞

Robert Green

Maybe I’m wrong about your comment, but even though I agree with what you said, 100%, I think Jordan Peterson is not saying to try to rebuilt trust again in someone. No. I think he is talking about confronting your fears, especially if it is fear of a person who has been wronged. Like, to be the bigger person, not allowing the person to make you cower, letting the person know you have confidence and will no longer be intimidated by them…that sort of thing.

Read the bible its got all the wisdom he is talking about. You get wisdom and your kidney lol

​@@debbiewilder4738 Lmfao "wisdom". The Bible is built upon literal plagiarism of older tales 🤣

most likely if you just be polite, interesting and encounter him by chance, he'll stick around with you for some time for free

@@HannibalKantter You must not be a Jordan Peterson fan because all he talks about. Is the word of God and the wisdom In it. He just doesn't have the spirit of God.

You described my outlook exactly. I have been burned beyond a campfire, a bonfire, a forest fire...😭 But that is part of the test we face while being here... I will not let them win by succumbing to becoming like them. And in the end, rewarded or not, I can live and die knowing I lived by righteousness and not by spite, resentment, bitterness, or revenge.

I’ve never been betrayed by friends, but by ex boyfriends . It doesn’t change who I am because I’m not bitter. I will still love the same way. I learned something from it and move on.

Very wise. It’s also important to remember not everyone is being underhanded. Everyone makes mistakes. Whether they are genuinely sorry and want to be better is up to them.

Yes possibly AND best not to be live in the naive camp. Eyes,senses,intuition wide open.

​@@minkadior7217 Absolutely!!

I don't think he means the same person that hurt you. He means a totally different mindset to everyone, now- being unable to trust humans in general. Thus "being in a desert".

@@Dimitris_Half Totally, however, once when you get burned from trusting an asshole, it becomes easy to assume that other people are out to get us.. depends on how much trust we had instilled in our minds of that person though.. I’m not saying that, that’s what one must do to avoid any and all heartbreaks in the future but it becomes natural. One might argue why do we give that kind of power to someone else over our own conscious mind, everybody is a fool at some point in life.

You have to find people who want good for you, who support you and believe in you. You will discover if people want good for you over time, if they playing with you or just use you - let them go. Always trust yourself first and have patience, you are going to get rewarded

You're not alone because I can't provide trust to those that hurt me before. Why? Because I know they will do it again.

@kathrynrodriguez2089 Considering all the hurt and pain people, family that claimed they loved me to my face, but had hatred for me behind my back, I felt like I was in a desert anyway. Or being drowned by lies, deceit, manipulation, and betrayal. It's better to be in that desert alone. No snakes.

Exactly. Agreed. I always say that if someone betrays you whether it be big or small, in the end it’s on them, and like everyone, they will face the consequences for all of their actions and unrighteous behaviours...

You remind me of my psychologist. He says that it's necessary to sever ties with people sometimes, even family when they use our forgiveness towards them as a sign of weakness not strength & then take that as a green light to attempt to abuse us further

@@carpathianken Some people are just awful and it’s hard to accept it. We wanna fix it so it’s not true. But sometimes it’s just the truth of who they are and we can’t fix it nor should we try. Take good care of you first and foremost and let them figure their own stuff out. Boundaries are key. Much love sent to you❤️✅

Maybe she will, maybe she won't, either way, you can't live your life in fear that she will. If you grow paranoid that she will, and let your insecurities dictate your relationship with her and don't trust her then you're going to ruin that relationship with her and end up losing her.

Amen

"A thief trys to steal your possessions a liar attempts to steal your reality" ... I try to keep life simple and do my best to avoid both

Do you really think someone is going to apologise?! No, and if they do, they don’t mean it, they just got caught.

@@melissacaples7979 Yes I agree with you Some people just wear too many masks on their faces. As I said, don't expect an apology