Kilgan Dreadship: "Nooo! You can't just use rocks to defeat the most powerful battlestation of all time!" Imperial Endor Garrison: "First time?"

Humans: "Yeet" Alien: "that... did nothing" Human: "oh .. well then " *inhales* "YA YEET!" Allien: "That .... actually worked"

If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough of it 🤣

Alien (do a Freeza impression here): We have [insert, high end, energy tech, here]. What have you got *Monkey* ? Human (do a Hank Hill impression here): Rocks and rock throwing accessories.

Now that the Dirtlings have a new best friend with much higher technology, it should only be a few years until they develop the singularity cannon. Now that's a rock thrower!

Kilgans: your end is Here Aliens:the end has come Com Channels:*aggitated monkey screaching* Computer: *proximity Warning, multiple large asterioid on colision course*

"We will we will ROCK YOU." Gen. F Mercury Sol Fleet.

That's no moon! Oh!... wait a minute... maybe it was a moon!

There are several things the story glossed over, yet I know with absolute certainty; - The dirtlings knew about the 40 minutes of overkill and didn’t care. We brought an hour’s worth of rockets and we’re going to deliver an hour’s worth of Yeet. - The biggest rock had a giant face haphazardly splash-painted on the front and a comical name on the back. My best guesses range from ‘The First Law’ to ‘Girthy Berty’. This was absolutey a valuable use of the scientists’ time. - The only people giggling more than the guys that strapped on the steering thrusters were the people who broke the handle on the lever labeled ‘throttle’. - That dreadnaught will someday be returned to the Kilgans.

"When I joined the Corps, we didn't have fancy smancy tanks. We had sticks! Two sticks and a rock for the whole platoon. And we had to share the rock." - Sergeant Johnson from Halo 2 Anniversary

"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger rock!" - unknown human seconds before a cataclysmic explosion

When you max out the first skill in the game.

Humans are Space Dwarfs BROTHERS OF THE MINE REJOICE! SING! SING! SING! WITH ME!

If brute force does not work your not using enough of it

"What is it with you and large rocks?!" she snapped. "You two hadn't even met, and she's already picked up the largest rock physically possible." "I dunno," I shrugged. "When I think Juraian Tree, I think gravity fields and curvey lasers and lighthawk wings. Not stuffing stars into pocket dimensions to use as a cudgel. I mean, it's still 'screw physics, I'm a god-tree', but I imagine esoteric stuff. Not dumbells in a metaphorical purse. Never underestimate the classics, I guess..."

Just remember, a nuke is just a rock being compressed, or two rocks being smacked together, forcefully enough that it's atoms break. So yes, human's most powerful weapon to date is just more rocks.

Thank you for the video. To be fair, we are quite good at throwing rocks.

And if bigger rocks somehow don't solve the problem, you just need to use bigger rocks that explode into dmall suns!

I'll argue that "Dirt" isn't a proper translation of "Earth" or "Terra". Well, it's a proper literal translation, but not the intended meaning of the name. I think the intended meaning of the name is "Land", aka, what we walk and live on. Of course given the quality of translation in this story, the aliens might not have two different words that distinguish between "dirt" and "land".

The invaders we’re even nice enough to gravity assist the final tracking and acceleration before impact.

Humanity outmatched and outnumbered, cocking an interstellar shotgun, just as we like it.

Well, when you think about it, Planets are just large circular rocks.

Thanks for reading this delightful story. HFY community and Agro have a special relationship too!

Grug throw rock. Rock work. Grug spread rock throwing to the entirety of future humanity. Humanity prospers for eons.

Throughout the entire storm of slung rocks, I guarantee SO MANY puns involving the words rock, stone, and every name for every kind of rock and stone they could think of, happened. And were broadcast on all frequencies for all to hear.

Not just bigger rock. Faster rock as well.

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

I adore the portrayal of us as little helpful but dangerous rock hoarders.

so manny giggles... I love this. Thank you for reading it to us... to me... :D My husband reads the daily devotional to me and mom in the mornings, and I love it. My dad used to read Tarzan to us when I was a child. I read to my daughter when she was small. It's a comfort thing. Thank you so much. You put so much feeling and life into these works.

Yea, small moons moving at around .1c would overcome just about any gravity well short of a star.

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo Reminds me of "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" where the Lunar insurgents threw rocks at Earth. Or the Krogan rebellions in Mass Effect, where they used the same tactic on the Turians.

Should have put the dirtlings in charge of jamming, "we will rock you" on all channels.

As soon as I heard the size of the enemy ship, I knew that the rocks would be big and fast. Because when you make yourself THAT big of a target you're practically begging to be shot at with mass drivers. Accelerating them up to 10% of c is pretty damn impressive for a race that is still using chemical engines for realspace movement, though. Xenos: "How do you throw rocks that fast?" Humans: "Well, you know the FTL drives everyone has? Turns out if you invert the fields and only turn it on for a picosecond it para-accelerates the mass caught in the fields. We found that out the hard way when some techs got drunk and kind of broke into a yard they were working at. Fortunately it was aimed away from anything important, but we're really going to miss Deimos." Xenos: "Deimos?" Humans: "The moon that was pulverized when it was in the way. Thankfully no one was on it at the time. It left a lovely ring around Mars, though. Anyway, after that we realized it would make a really great gun." Xenos: "...Gun?" Humans: "Oh my friend, let us introduce you to the concept of 'more dakka'." Later: Xenos: "A beautiful friendship indeed."

damn. the dreadship got beat by rocks. they definitely felt that one in their ego.

This gives me father Jack Hackett vibes, "I LUV MOI BRICK"

The Dirtlings love their rocks. They have a very special relationship. And they are guite good at throwing them. To quote a certain sgt. Johnson "We had sticks. Two stick and a rock for the entire platoon! And we had to share the rock! "

Almighty YEET

I have a fairly good feeling that the author of that story watches Isaac Arthur if brute Force isn't working then you're not using enough of it.

This is one of my favorite so far. GOOOO Dirtlings!

If the aliens think our obsession with rocks is weird, just wait until they find out how scary we can be when we find out someone has shiny yellow rocks...

Throughout the vast nothingness of space, Vrond heard a faint voice, a gargling of a voice almost: *"RRRRRRRRROCK 'IIIIIIIIMMMMMMMM"*

To be fair, we throw rocks *really* well

Humans: If violence was not your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. Throw a moon at them next.

Rock rock rock!

This needs to be a book and this is somewhere in the first third of the book. Book one of at least four

Monkey throw rock! Monkey break!

...rock. Rock... RoCK? ROCK!?

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

Thanks for the story 🙂☺️

Monkey throw rock

And if i may repeat a statement made about another story discussin our love of rocks. Line from story " yeah they even tricked rocks into thinking for them by applying electricty. " Line from comments " we did not trick them. We attached jumper cables to their little rock testicles untill they gave us the answers we wanted "

THE ASTEROID BELT IS WHERE THE ROCKS ARE

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

We got the biggest rocks of them all

Glorious Dakka, mwahaha

keeper going

Obvious battle song We Will Rock You! At earthquake volume.

Klef is now on special offer.

neat

i am here for the misunderstanding sand all their glorious hilarity

Rock Smash!

Ooohh another favorite

This will be a good one

For the Dirt!

very funny, thanks man!

We also love sticks, big sticks to hit and poke things with.

I kinda like the name dirtlings it's fitting

to be fair we are REALLY good at throwing rocks....

Reminds me of the story of were we through Earth at some 5th dimensional beings that killed all humans that weren't on Earth. They said that no rock we could through could effect them and we took that personally.

Yelp,if at first you don't succeed, throw bigger rocks! For the algorithm.

Monkey throw rock, monkey break!

"Dirtlings" is such a stupid title, I love it.

Without bending space time the infinite energy required to throw rocks at the speed of light would also create an infinite explosion and doom is all. We have a max limit on rock throwing

For Al Gor'ithym, witness me noisy and loud.

We will rock you

For the algorithm

I feel that we have seen this here before. Is it just me?

See this peak human: Hit it with best rock you can make or pick up.

Throwing rocks ? Why not ? We are pretty good at throwing rocks. Big rocks can do a LOT of damage, and a mere laser or beam weapon is of no use against a big rock coming at you at relativistic speed. And, if that rock is big enough... Well, there is no stopping it before it's get stopped by something much bigger.

TL;DR: "rocks"

Unta enta ronk

well, since all things fall at the same speed, if they had anti gravity of repulsing, then, it probably wouldn't help much that you have momentum, atleast not frm mass. See, gravity effects all mass in a way where it falls at the same rate. I massive object will fall just as quick, and be slowed, I imagine as much. Basically, all the mass is effected y the force of accekleration at the same time. the only thing that would help is speed, but. in fact, too much speed means more mass at realatavistic speeds, but it won't slow much in a fraction of a second.more mass means means the same amount of slowing due to gravity though, so speed means little effect. After all, if an objec tis exposed to earth's gravity for a fraction of a second, it won't be effected much. A bit, but not much. At hundredth of a second, it would move .0981 meters towards earth. percentages of the speed of light means passing thourhg the feild of gravity quite rapidly it takes eight minutes for light to go from the sun to earth, and some seconds from earth to the moon in 1.3 seconds. So, a full gee for a second at full speed and at ten percent, well gravity falls off with distance, but a meter or so. interms of velocity, you are talking about a gee of force out how ever much force a ten percent light speed object, which will have more energy than it's original mass times velocity due to relativity giving it more mass. however, since we are using anti grav as a force, it would loose 9.8 meters/second at rarth's gravity.

Rock is friend. Rock is music. Rock is life Rock is (your) death read more

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we would like better FTL tecnology please.......................ok fine yes we were going to use it to throw faster rocks but pretty please :) we wont throw them at you

157th, 13 January 2023

F.A.S.

Many of our children also start rock-collecting as a hobby. And we also like giving pretty, polished, sparkly rocks as gifts.

For the algorithm

If sentient singularity orbs cannot puncture a hull, ram it from lights peed with your over engineered warship.