A fundamental rule of humanity. If you are our friend, then there is very little we will not do for you. If you are our enemy, then there is very little we will not do to you.

Warriors don't fight because they hate what is in front of them; they fight because they love what is behind them.

Crab aliens: "The humans have a weakness for furry creatures, so we'll cover ourselves with fur to put them off their guard!" Humans: "AAARGH! Giant tarantulas!!" (Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!)

"They want to enslave the adorable new alien friends? Well that just won't do!" *Proceeds to go absolutely ape-shit, would make our primate ancestors proud*

Defending tiny, adorable, little baby otter floofs from monster slavers? *all of humanity stands* WE FIGHT!

"Wait, you're telling me almost every species in the universe is a giant crab?" "Well, some are more like lobsters." "MA! GET THE FTL DRIVE WARMED UP! AND BUY MORE BUTTER!"

"I heard you struck my Yukak. May I ask why?" "Well, sir, it's because they tried to enslave the space otters, and, well, the humans took offense." " ...oh! "

"What are you spraying the giant crabs with?" 'Lemon juice and melted butter."

I imagine that the adults took over the former slaver empire once the kids had to go home. Remaining Yukuk leader: "You're leaving?" *imagines that they can go back to their slaving ways once the monsters leave* Ashley: "Yep. We have to go home. But don't worry, the grownups will be taking over from us." *giant hulking power armor that utterly dwarfs Ashley steps into view* Ashley: "Isn't that right, Daddy?"

Do NOT mess with the Cute and Cuddly things, especially threatening slavery. Young human petting machines suddenly become ..... Hulk Smash!

When in doubt on how to contact humanity, just send in your most adorable species. Preferably covered in fur and looking like mammals.

"Like most species in the galaxy, they had evolved into crabs" This made me laugh so hard. To those who dont know, "crabs" have evolved multiple times on earth. Thi gs keep turning into crabs. Half the crabs we call crabs are from different evolutionary branches. Itd be simple convergant evolution if it had happened once or twice...but .. It keeps happening.. Thus leading to the joke amongst people interested evolutionary biology that tue crab is the ultimate form for organic life, and everything will eventualy evolve into a crab.

That ending reminded me of that line from the story Child's Play, "Congratulations Ruagari, you lost a war to children with a debilitating sickness. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad."

Ah yes, the paradox that is being near apex predator and prey. Protective and survival instinct combined into one with adrenaline to give that extra oomph.

Tiny floofy thing: *is in danger* Humankind: *Halo theme intensifies*

The only thing that saved the Yukuk, is they very luckily didn't get a chance to even hurt one of the cute and cuddly space otters in front of the humans. If they had, there wouldn't be any Yukuk left to surrender.

It's how nature made us cute=young young=future anything threatens young/cute MUST, with extreme prejudice, either be taught the error of its ways or eliminated, lest it become a threat later

An entire space empire got felled by a few juvenile delinquents and a construction crew on a space otter colony. Just imagine what would have happened if an actual Militia or the actual Military got involved.

That was probably one of the better ones I've listened to. Especially at the end when you find out they're actually juvenile delinquents there to do community service. Edit. The original author has commented and said that I am Incorrect and it was a requirement for the school that they have extra credit.

Ah, humans being sweet and gentle with their allies while tearing enemies limb from limb. Now those are the kinds of HFY/'humans are Space Orcs' kinda stories I can get behind.

whelp, there is a note here somewhere about getting between females and cute things....

I think getting an unconditional surrender and ENDING A SLAVE EMPIRE is enough community service credits to satisfy graduation requirements.

The humans in this universe be like: TIME FOR SEAFOOD.

Thank you for reading my story! It's great to see everyone enjoying it! Back in high school, we needed community service every year to graduate so I figured if a bunch of students are on the warpath they might as well cover their bases. They just needed the people they 'serviced' to sign something. I hope to start my own youtube channel as soon as I figure out how to get around the fact I can't draw or animate. Hopefully, I will have more stories for people to enjoy.

4 word warning that gets anything killed... "DONT FRICK WITH KIDS!"

The Yukuk survivors still tell horror stories about . . . "old bay."

*To the Coalition of Armed Student Volunteers* I wish my college had a Xeno Stomping club! What a field trip!

Crab Aliens: We have come to enslave all things cute and cuddly. Humans:...so you have chosen DEATH

Damn…Ashley pulled a Glory Kill on that crab monster You go girl, RIP AND FUCKING TEAR!!!

Great story. I can just imagine my daughters manning the barricades. The crabs would not have lasted long. No harm shall come to cute and cuddly..

Funny thing us crabs ain't even that bad looking. I mean, still creepy, especially if they're big as us. But honestly fungus and actual insects are far more disgusting. But good on that crab guy for recognizing that humans' long experience with domestication has ingrained in us a protective drive for allied species almost as strong as that we show our children. "This was the first time an entire sapient species was adopted wholesale by another." -Exceprt, "Humans Are Weird Monsters; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cuddles."

Y'know, we might have defended the crabs against slavers if they weren't slavers. Heck, I could see us looking the other way if they hunted the adults for food(unlikely, but I could see it; natural order and all). But kidnapping baby otters for slavery? No. We'll serve you up with butter and cornbread. If it's other space otters kidnapping the babies, we'll use BBQ sauce. For all things cute and cuddly!

Congratulations crabs you just provoked literal millennia of pack bonding instinct and our pathological primate rage.

"I do not love the sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I only love that which they defend." -Faramir, son of Denethor, Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien.

"Yeah you see they come and steal our children cause it's easier to train them young" .............. "Human are you alright?" Eye begins twitching. "Human...?" *Rage ⚠️* THEY FOCKIN WOT?!?

Ashley: No retreat, no surrender and for the love of everything cute and cuddly...no mercy.(Doom music kicks in) Don't be a tasty looking crab alien slaver...we will bring butter and lemon

Pul: Smiles and nods. Of all the souls I have met, his was the most... Human.

"They are slavers!" [chill music stops] "they're here for our children" ["The Only Thing They Fear" starts playing]

Well its a good thing they weren't Space Amazon River Otters or we might've wound up siding with the damned crabs!

*PROTECC THE OTTERS!* *FOR ALL THAT IS CUTE AND CUDDLY!*

The sea food market is going to have a hella economic boom. You know what I’m talking about…

You kill a Human, we'll hunt you down and put you to trial, where you'll be severily punished. You kill one of our fluffy cute and cuddle companions? You won't even get to have a trial.

And that was college students,... I dare say the far more violent military would have crushed them so quickly and throughly that wouldn't have even been able to surrender. It would have been over before it was even on.

That was not a war. It was arresting a kidnapping gang.

They were given a choice: Surrender or be the "guests of honor" at a Sea food Buffet

Anyone else have a sudden and inexplicable craving for crab cakes?

"To the Coalition of Armed *Student Volunteers*." They weren't even a primarily military force, rather they just armed themselves and won a war against a slaver race. Shows exactly what humans are capable of.

"Because he was the first to leave the star system who wasn't a politician." is a gem! Lol!

The Yukak upon finding out they were defeat by teens start singing "Teenagers scare the living shit outta me!"

Cuuuute~ 🥰 I would defend these space otters with all I have! For all that is cute and cuddly!!

That was an unexpected story. Gruesome, enjoyable, but oh man, what a party that must have been!

A truly magnificent banner to rally behind.

Crab slaver aliens: "No doubt about it, we need to get bigger guns!"

FOR THE EMP... er... THE FLOOFERS!

"oh... so the space crabs are slavers who want to take the space otter pups? how about we give them something different?" *proceeds to go ape-shive on any space crab dumb enough not to run back into their ships*

I can't stop giggling. This is such a great story.

I think about this with people from my high school. Some of those knuckle draggers towered over the teachers. Boys AND girls.

Heh, funny. Somehow nature alway evolves crabs, up to five times already! This is the concept of Carcinisation.

Well if i remember correctly otters may look cute but they are bastards (most animals on earth are bastards), so i would not be so happy discovering space otters (unless for some reason they just look like otters).

...I know it's wrong to eat sentients but they were trying to hurt the space otters.. and yes I did bring some genuine terran spices. If the space otters dont twll I'm not telling either.

Even if I know that the one giving orders should be in their late teens at the youngest I keep imaging a 10 year old girl screaming "KILL! PROTECT THE CUTE & CUDDLY!!"

We love to cuddle cute creatures and we love eating crabs

indeed we are monsters, but only for those who deserve to be hunted by monsters

4:12 This diplomat's first instinct, upon meeting a new and hithertoo unknown alien species, was to approach them rapidly and manhandle their children. Fucking humans, man.

Now that the initial threat is taken care of, we will take our new ship and pop off to earth to get a few real weapons.

If you are are friend there is almost nothing we will not do for you. If you are our enemy there is almost nothing we won't do to you. --- From somewhere on the internet. Ps. Enslaving children makes you our enemy. Cute and cuddly children doubly so.

Humans may not make good pets, but cute and cuddly aliens could do a lot worse than allowing humans to consider them as pets!😉 I loved the line about the misunderstanding about the crab festival. 😁 I could see most of the races in the galaxy being crabs becoming a problem down the road, however. 😋🍴🍲

They surrendered to the students in 6 miners. The human military didn’t get involved apparently or it would have been over in 1 month. Tell the people in the Northeast of the US and that empire would be gone in a week.

"Who's bringing the butter?" I'm picturing that young girl absolutely murdering that giant crab and asking for butter after. Sure she would like a snack after all that fighting, though.

i wonder how we'd react to a species of heartmeltingly adorable aliens who'd also use their looks to prey upon other species like Xenomoprhs or Ashen or something. I imagine we'd want to eardicate them for their transgressions against all pure cute and cuddly things?

At least they didn't make it to my old AF headcanon sci-fi civilization, those guys would casually check if there are otters onboard, and then proceed with making a mess from those crabs. TL;DR idea was kinda dimension-hopper race making alliances with various fictional universes they stumbled upon, based on what I was watching, reading or playing. Following scene is an example of possible outcome, not nearly as hillarious, but properly showing how lucky those space crab Batarians are: *Slaver ship appears* -Psy-corps, any sings of our otter friends on ship? *One of techie things on ship hull moving, and a group of psionics doing a collective ping using amplifier tech* -Ping returned negative, sir *With malicious change in voice on "systems intact"* -Then pop that ship, I want their systems intact -Call in one of our Hammerheads, I want the Yamato shot to their engine, and a virus in life support running rampant *Space otter is in shock* -W-what do you mean? *Person in question gives malicious smile to holo-comms* -Well, Command said they wanted systems operational, when I pop that craft, nothing about the crew, and struggling for air as they're running for their voidsuits, means no one will be there to fight or get any other stupid ideas And that be same people who's been acting like a girl who seen adorable kittens when around otter younglings

Imagine hurting the cute baby space others on our watch...

If I had to defend adorable otter people against tasty crab bois I’m getting my rifle and my crab boil.

and hence forth the galaxy learnt to fear the war cry of ''FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING CUTE AND CUDLY!'' I just.... for some reason it gives me the mental image of a drooling slaving horde of orcs fighting each other looking up as something catched ther attention seeing a kitten who's owner died being picked up by some infiltrator crab alien.. and suddenly like riples on water all orcs stops fighting each other and charges the kitten eating one with rage making ther previous screaming and mutilating violance of each other look like a court dance XD

Galaxy is full of crab people. Humans: rapidly builds ships and cargo ships. Sudden massive world wide increase in the production of butter and cookware. Crabs: screaming

"humans are weird monsters... end of story" humanity summarized, abridged version Though I have to wonder what the aliens would have done if the humans had send them some delicious recipes... like crab rangoon.

So... it's basically the same motivation as Doom 2.

A question not answered, how did they taste with butter?

In the words of a six-armed alien superweapon monstrosity now living in Hawai'i, "NOT SO CUTE AND _FLUFFY!!!!"_

Totally love the name, Coalition of Armed Student Volunteers, for the love of everything cute and cuddly

Them crabs shouldn't be near a hungry human ... Show them mukbangers... It's a curse being so tasty... Who can resist?? Furry toddlers awww!!! FTA!!

13:25 the construction crew was just saying what was on all our minds lol

Hah, hope they got extra credit. 😀

This was pretty great lol there was probably stuffed crab for weeks

One small step for man one giant like for the algorithm

"So what did you do for your community service requirement?" "Oh, you know, destroyed an alien slave empire because they were stealing baby space otters. You?"

Funny thing, the larger and older a crab get's the worse it tends to taste. For some reason they just don't taste as good when super large.

Whats even more funnier is that it was students!! Not the actual human military but actual students that brought down that slave empire

Ladies and gentlemen, we have an enemy looking to harm our cute otter friends. Soldiers prepare for combat, Alexa play (the only one they fear is you)

Crabs are delicious.

Alien: you glassed 6 of our world's over 6 children. Human amabassador: we have said it so often it's a cliche, Our children mean the world to us. We never it was our world. The Geneva convention isn't a list of war crimes. It's our list of things we know work to effectively. It's to protect us from ourselves not you from us.

The petting intensified

Humans backed into a corner, with something to protect behind them, are very vicious They would have fought the same even if they were outmatched

Those crabs would serve as delicacies for many meals.

As a vegetarian, the crab fest doesn't appeal to me, but I can totally get on board with the "for everything cute & cuddly" sentiment. Ambassador Pul's children sound otterly adorable. 😉

For the love of everything cute and cuddly!

And so ended, the Great Crab Shack Wars. Prices in butter, lemon juice, Garlic, and Salt were at an all time high price wise.

For the love of everything cute and cuddly.... And for the algorithm!

Don't mess with humanity's friends...we don't don't take kindly to that

The giant space crab boil is reason enough to defend the Otters 🦦