The way she looks at him

I really needed to hear this. I am 21 years old and in college. Life is hard and confusing. I was raised a christian but never truly have known God or Jesus so when I went to college I let partying and bad relationships take over my life. You two are very encouraging to me, I have made mistakes in my past, especially with dating the wrong guys and giving my whole self to them but I want to have a Godly relationship like you two. Keep making these videos please because they really do help. I am trying harder to get to know God and I am amazed by how strong you guys' faith is.

I think the love and admiration written all over her face for The man, Her man, that stands up for Christ and speaks for him says it all. It's nice whrn a woman doesn't have to speak because she can fully trust her man to say and do what is right. It's a relief really. Almost like he speaks straight from her heart and all she has to do is love and support him. Awesome stuff!

The first thing you said Jeff really touched me to the core. I was sexually assaulted as a teen & now my boyfriend of over a year has helped me overcome so many things. But sometimes I forget that he's not the one that can calm my anxiety, that he can't always be there to help me feel ok in social situations, etc...you Jeff have helped me learn that God is what's going to ultimately heal me, not just a really awesome guy!

My church only just posted your "Why I hate religion but love Jesus" video this morning and it's the first time I've heard of you guys. Three hours later and a lot of putting off errands until tomorrow and I am hooked! You guys are such a beautiful couple in Christ and in the short space of time I've been watching your videos - you have already being enlightening me with your teachings! You guys have a true gift and are a blessing at giving His message. This lesson in particular I think is very important to me, coming from an extremely unhealthy relationship before I accepted Jesus into my heart and now being unwilling to enter another from my experience - this is a hopeful kind of thing to take into account for the future. Absolutely amazing, you guys! Really really enjoying your videos! God Bless!

this channel is such a blessing.

You guys are both so awesome!! :) I love how much you both love the Lord!

I LOVE the dating series videos. These are keeping my perspective of dating Christ-driven and focused, which is the best way for any relationship to start. Thank you for sharing!

You guys make a beautiful couple. I think it's by the grace of God that beautiful couples exist.

I was totally not expecting that voice to come out of that woman

NEW VIDEO!!

this series is very inspiring you guys are such a blessing

I love your videos and how you guys explain everything! God bless your marriage!! You're such a blessing for a lot of people...

I just love how Jeff is saying "uhu hmm" after everything that Alyssa said while she was just quiet and listened at what he had to say. haha(:

I want to thank you guys for doing these videos. I don't have a church that I can attend and feel as though I'm growing in my faith, but watching your videos and applying what I learn to my faith and other aspects of my life have been honestly so helpful. Listening to your words and reading through the bible as a story more than anything else has helped me so much on my walk. And I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I had so many bad things happen that left me broken that I thought I was to broken to ever be loved and when I was pushed from my old church it made me belive that if church people can't love me who can but you taught me I was looking in the wrong place and now that my faith has grown I have been blessed that now I'm in a healthy relationship with God and with my boyfriend who has been growing with me watching you guys. I honestly can't say thank you enough God bless K

Love these videos by you guys. You definitely provide encouragement for me in looking for a Godly relationship in the future. Keep up the great work guys.

Yep. I agree with this. I'm not going to date someone and then lose myself in them. I'm actually really happy being single. Turning to God for things, finding my hope, peace and love in him. Lovely video. I always learn so much from you so thanks!

I really love that Triangle Example lol soooo goood

Thank you for this Jeff and Alyssa. Really needed this one after doing a tough decision that I did. Holiness first before happiness. Jesus is our everything.

I have been going back and forth in a very hard and emotional relationship, and letting go of something that you've tied yourself to is so hard. Hearing the tips, the love of God, and encouragement you guys have really helps me to feel at ease as I'm attempting to get over a broken relationship and seek God. Thank you so much. God bless your family. I hope I find someone that can give me the love and strength you guys give each other and has the desire to run towards God.

Wish I would've remembered Alyssa's advice in this video sooner - my boyfriend and I struggled with a lot of unspoken doubts, and by God's grace we're working them out, but I completely forgot Alyssa had already covered that here! Amazing!

I loved this. My son will be turning 16 this August and will be allowed to start dating, so I want to add this to my fave vids to show to him when that time comes. Thanks for sharing guys :)

"If you live for someones praise, you die for their rejection." Wow. Pretty powerful.

always leaving hyped as ever after watching your vids.

The first quote Jeff talked about is from Lecrae's "Free from it All". Love that lyric as it applies to many situations outside of dating as well.

Love the triangle analogy.

I've never thought about dating this way EVER. But it seems so smart and mature and in some ways beyond my understanding. I'd really like to give it a try.

Your relationship looks and sounds healthy. I hope the day I get marry I can have the same healthy relationship.

He makes some good points. God first, don't dedicate yourself to something importantly unless it's the Lord himself

Great video! I would really like it if you guys did a video on fears and doubts. Alyssa briefly mentioned them but it would be good if she expanded on what to do when they do arise and how to better prepare when you do have a conflict with the person! Also, I want to hear Alyssa speak even more!! She's awesome

How to deal with conflict in the relationship and maintain a healthy relationship. And tips on dealing with arguments or disagreements in a healthy manner while putting God first. Even along the lines of controlling your temper and holding back words that will only hurt the other person. You both are an amazing inspiration thank you! :)

I went on a little marathon of your videos tonight, because I've been particularly struggling with a lot, especially regarding a relationship I'm in. I just wanted to say though that you both are such a blessing, and just keep doing what you're doing :) I'm someone who struggles with being stubborn, prideful, and depressed, but your videos are helping to bring me down back to a humble level and to stop running/hiding from God. So thank you :)

Alyssa's voice is so cute 😋

My 3rd video and my views on dating have changed dramatically! Love this Channel! God Bless you both!

This video is seriously SOOOO encouraging and oddly specific to my relationship right now. So good and I hope you two realize how much of a light your wisdom and encouragement is to us viewers. Keep up the awesome vids(:

You two are amazing. This is exactly what I needed to hear in my situation right now. God bless you two, you're wise beyond your years.

Nice tips. I feel it is really about regularly renewing your intentions, make sure your intentions are set right in order to pull you toward succeeding in your Mariage.

You guys are awesome. I watched these videos when I was single and now I'm in a relationship with a great man of God. Watching these videos now is quite different from when I was single, but I'm so glad you guys made these videos! I look at both of you as my mentors

I'd love to hear alyssa singing! I just love her voice! Great video, great people, GREAT GOD ❤️

I wrote a senior thesis (undergrad) about family communication and how it can be applied to the Church. In my interpersonal comm. classes, I learned that communicating through conflict and working it out actually makes relationships stronger, not weaker. (I think I incorporated this into my thesis.) It is a misconception, not just by the culture that we live in, but even in the Church that we should avoid conflict. As Christians we need to love each other which means getting along all of the time. This just is not realistic. Conflict is inevitable. We even see it in the Bible. For example, Paul and Peter. We hear Paul set Peter straight on somethings that he is not doing. Jesus even had to set his disciples straight on issues. It is more of a weakness to sweep conflict under the rug. The result of that is a lack of authenticity and honesty and relational wounds that have never been cleaned out which leads to inward thoughts of bitterness (an infection if you will). The point is that the Church needs to address conflict and discuss it. Sometimes those discussions will get heated. Emotions will take over and those who are starting to bicker most likely need to step away from the problem and calm down before they can find a solution. Fair fighting is another term that I have learned too. Discuss your feelings, but do not bring up past disagreements or wrongs. This just adds damage. Take time to step away if you need it, but do not let the problem fester into a deep wound. Solve it once you can.

I thought your shirt said I'd rather be drinking. Apparently there was more to it. Lol!

Hey I remember the triangle analogy! It been one that's stuck with me BTW you guys are a beautiful Christian couple :) You're both so real and down to earth, you don't put on a fake perfect front and that's what I love about you both. Thanks for the godly advice you both constantly bring :)

I love what y'all said, i totally believe in it. This kind of relationsship is what the holy spirit told me to have buy last girl i dated told me i wanted something to serious and it lead to a break up i was really depressed, it felt like God left me cause the pain was real but watching this has renewed my faith and i know that what i wanted is right thank you guys so much i wish i could tell you how much you have helped my Christian life. May you never depart from his grace.

I wish u both write book about dating. So blessed by ur videos! :D

Thank you all so much for this video. My girlfriend broke up with me right before my senior year of high school. (Her parents made her). And I was devastated, I wanted to die. And we were both very strong christians. I had no idea I had slipped from find satisfaction in her to making her my God. I wanted to be a missionary to Muslims. But she was from China so I totally reoriented everything around her. And various things like that, thank the Lord he used you all to show me this. Blessings!

I'm so glad I saw this video I can't tell you how much this answered my prayers as to why I'm still trying to get over my ex. Love you guys I pray that you guys continue to do what yall do. :)

I love this! I am so glad my friend brought me to your videos! I recently broke up with my first serious boyfriend of 4 years...and your videos are so helpful and inspiring. it is eye-opening to hear you say these things, because you don't even realize it when you are the one in the equation. thank you!!!

Thanks so much guys I really need to hear this!

I love your metaphor of cultivating plants after they sprouted as very similar to relationships. I had a revelation about sin recently when I was pulling the weeds off my brick sidewalk (where as weeds recently sin in one's life) - its so easy to pluck little weeds(sin) when they didn't take deep root, but once the weeds(sin) matures, it the roots sink into the soil and it takes a lot more force to remove mature weeds(sin).

Wonderful video! I am a Christian, but I feel as though pieces of this video could even pertain to an atheist in the dating realm concerning communication not only between the two people in the relationship, but also communicating with trusted people around them. Thanks again for another wonderful video! And congratulations on the beautiful new baby girl Kinsley! One last thing, I just wanted to say Alyssa has beautiful eyes!! Thanks again!

Just love you guys! thank you for allowing the King to use you all to help others! I love all of you all's videos.

What Jefferson does during Alyssa's talk (hmm, mhmm) is hilarious. Great video. Thank y'all!

Such amazing words of wisdom! Definitely teaching me something. Love u guys!

I get so excited when I see a new video on my subscriptions page from youu! Jeff, you and Alyssa are so amazing and so encouraging. :) will be donating to your funds page soon!

You guys really are a gift sent to me from Christ. You both know how to speak life into people and into their situations. I pray for the flourishment of Y'all's marriage and i pray that the ministry you both have here on KZfaq grows like no other. Thank you God for these amazing people.

I would just like to say thank you these videos are so helpful and so informative and you and your wife are an absolute inspiration

This could NOT have come at a better time for me. Seriously, thank you so much. Ya'll are great

Alyssa looks like Kate Middleton to me ♥

I was just sharing this same wisdom in a group discussion the other day. Glad to listen to like minded individuals. #itsnotjustme

Watching this years later, thank you! learned a lot!!

You always kill it...thanks again for your wisdom. God bless you

Thank you for the inspiration and advice on your perception of a healthy relationship. It helped me to understand a bit more about my very own relationship. Bless.

That triangle analogy is perfect! Thanks guys

You both should come to my church in Paraguay some day to preach about all the stuff you know. It'd be more than great!

Amen,thank you guys for sharing.May God bless your relationship and may it keep glorifying Him

Thank you both for you ministry- has been a huge blessing in my life!

This video has really convicted me-- thanks Jeff & Alyssa!

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years now & I found this video very helpful, thank-you!!

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!!!!! Great work

My prayer since last year was that whoever my husband may be, that God would allow us to draw closer to each other as we grow closer to Him, like a triangle. I am now dating one of my best friends and continue to pray that prayer. Love hearing this from someone else.

God bless you guys! Love your videos. With love from Brazil!

Thank you for sharing! I've been struggling this last week.

Yes!! That is exactly how I see this, people idolize their significant other. That is why they are so devastated when the relationship fails. If we do things the way God asks us to, we will be better protected against any situation.

such great people! we need more people like this on KZfaq.

It is so nice to see young ppl so dedicated to our GOD.

I appreciate your channel so much. I love that you and Alyssa are so confident in each other and the Lord also, and that you admit your faults and use them to give advice we can all learn from instead of acting "holier than thou". Keep up the amazing work you two and congratulations on baby Bethke :)

This video really meant a lot to me, thank both of you so much.

Jefferson - Although I am not Christian, I still find your advice helpful. To understand your point more clearly, I replaced the word "God" with "myself". So instead of being rooted in God, you should be rooted in yourself. It ties in being comfortable with yourself and not being influenced by others actions / words that disagree with your own. More simply: being your own person.

I love hearing you guys talk and give advice as a couple. I was wondering if you guys would make a video kind of expanding on what to do while you're waiting with Jesus while you're single? I know you guys talk a lot about dating and relationships but I haven't heard much on what to do when you're not in a relationship and how to stay hopeful and obedient in that process. This topic keeps being brought up in conversation with my friends so I would love to hear some input on this!! You guys rock, hope you see this!

DOn't Stop Doing What you DO!!!!!

Thank you guys for being real:) God bless you

Good video. I always tell my girlfriend about the triangle with God at the top. "The closer we move to God the closer we move to each other." So it was neat to see it somewhere else!

Wow else words are exactly what my girlfriend and I need to hear. Thank you so much.

Hey Jeff! I'm revisiting your channel after some time, and I'm really excited! With only this video you've helped me settle down and come to peace with myself and this girl I'm starting to know. I believe that with Jesus and God in our view, it will be done what should be done, and we can't affect it anymore than that. Thanks a bunch!!

Thank you so much Jeff and Alyssa! You both make me fall in love with The Lord and His great works all over again with each new video. Thank you for what you both do! I'm not sure you will see this, but I would appreciate it so much if you could talk about a topic I've always had an issue with. It would be that I am convinced that I have to be perfectly happy with who I am and 100% confident to be in a relationship. All of my relationships, even with friends, have suffered because of this. Please help, I would love to hear what you both have to say about it! Love and blessings!

Lovely. Just listen to you both on TBN. good teaching. God uses every relationship for your good - to grow you whether it works or not. Nice

I've been thinking, and i've seen my self that, the true, the most righteous and the best relationship you can get with another person to be your life partner starts from the understanding, and the knowing of The Holy One. i lovehow you guys share about the truth. I can see the spirit of love living in your marriage as i see you both are so 'one'. I can tell it from the way you're talking, the way you guys explain things. I am praying that you can be greater impact to those people who needs love. I pray that through you, a generation can be changed, and makes other leader to teach and to tell the truth soOther people would be blessed. Greetings from Indonesia. God is with you. Amen.

You guys are truly a blessing! Love these videos!!

Great message :) too often we find ourselves being sucked into worldly views on relationships, this video is such a refreshing example of a Godly healthy relationship! inspiring

I love the triangle explanation. Its very true God first and the relationship plays out so much much much better :)

I love ya'lls take on spirituality and God in a relationship, very beautiful and admirable :) Really wished I had watched this years ago (probably wouldn't have changed too much considering I didn't listen to my mothers advice, but I at least learned the hard way). I was in an unhealthy relationship between the age of young age of 14-18 being that I have codependent tendencies (science's fancy way of saying the 'disease to please') so my self esteem was at an all time low and I never set boundaries. However, the unhealthy part also stemmed from the fact that over those years the relationship had to be kept a secret (religious reasons of the other person) so I never got to go on dates/prom/homecoming (went on 1 date in the total time together) meaning I only got to see the person at school. This meant me getting to school early, using time on the bus, sneaking around, and canceling out extracurricular activities while also being pressured to take the 'same classes' to increase the likelihood of being together (and when I was unable to pick the same electives I was surely to hear a complaint). On the rare occasions of seeing him outside of school, having at least 30 minutes was considered a "luxury". Needless to say, due to not prioritizing the school grounds as a learning environment but as "relationship time", my grades weren't very good, I got into trouble for inappropriate behavior (and made fun of for it), and my relationship with my mom was in a serious strain; when she'd find out about 'certain things' like the school incidents, I would panic and tell her it was my fault, beg her not to discuss the matter with him because he already had problems at home (meaning I'd rightfully get grounded, hit, or often get my phone taken away which he would complain about because then I couldn't communicate). My mother was beyond understanding of the situation (being that we couldn't really spend much time together so she'd help me to see him or by helping me cook/bake stuff for his bday/anniversary/valentines) and I felt disgusted with myself knowing I was putting the persons wants over me and my mothers trust. While there were indeed happy times that I did cherish over those years and was incredibly attached and in love with him since he was my best friend that I'd confide in, there were also some not-so-great times. He had a bit of an anger problem (several bus incidents with other younger students and threatened a random kid in a hallway who made a pda comment) but he'd tell me I was overreacting/too sensitive so I'd deny it was a problem until overhearing his own friends who apparently saw him have an outburst with a teacher say it themselves. I was often lectured that I lacked communication, but this was because when I would express my concerns I was automatically labeled as "unsupportive" (I'm very supportive but it'd often feel like he'd test my limits by intentionally making the most dangerous/careless decisions just to provoke me) and compared me to his emotionally abusive parents, so I'd only want to communicate when we were happy since I was scared of conflict (didn't want to waste the little bit of time together arguing because that'd upset him as well). He was sometimes hypocritical, telling me not to work at certain restaurants because they had bars (drunk men) but saying he'd be interested in working there himself since he was a guy, embarrassing me in public by blatantly saying to cover up when wearing something that he found too revealing or making very inappropriate jokes/remarks, and would act like he didn't know me whenever he thought he recognized people from his church yet wouldn't stop his inappropriate behavior when I was worried of getting in trouble by school staff. When a massive lifestyle change disagreement came up, I realized that if I submissively nodded away in desperation out of fear of losing him then my resentment of not being able to spend time together was only going to grow stronger (essentially was only going to see him 30 days out of every year the next 6)... I was going to have to rush/cram as many dates together in a matter of 5 months before him going off to do what he wanted. I felt distraught because I already had been waiting, yet he saw nothing wrong with adding another 6 years to that and would make me feel like I was in the wrong/asking for too much for wanting to have a normal, healthy relationship; he managed to try to link this with me not trusting him (definitely wasn't true, if anything I trusted him way too much and he'd use this for other things too to make me feel bad). Eventually I was so upset I snapped and went off on him one day (something I've never really done before) when I was feeling neglected. At first I felt I stepped out of my place and should've been more obedient/lenient/less worrisome, but now I'm able to see that the only reason it lasted as long as it did was because the sacrifices/promises made were often one sided. After everything happened, my sister reset Netflix so he'd no longer have access while I went through clearing the history and since I hadn't used it really in two years, it was shocking for me to find that he watched family guy/american dad/the office/futurama religiously (like seriously episode after episode) yet claimed he didn't have time for scholarships, fafsa, etc. Suddenly him not turning in some of his work/procrastinating (sometimes even major grades) made total sense. While the breakup was painful and mentally straining, especially having to deal with a personal matter and a serious decision by myself two weeks after.. something I never thought I'd have to go through, I know that in the long run it's given me a different perspective on things. I'm more appreciative of the strong relationship I have with my mom who's played both 'mom and dad' so I want to make her proud, and this whole mess forced me to see that you shouldn't love and care for someone else 110% while not willing to give yourself the same treatment.

Thank you, watched all your videos, your one of my main life inspirations

I love this, this videos! They're amazing and I'm really happy that you two take the time to share this important stuff with us. I needed to know this, and I'll always need to keep it in mind, so thank you.

You are so Amazing Jeff! Your Videos are an eye opener not only to those who are not Christians but also in us was Christians. We Thought that we are deep in our faith to God by doing Good things and obeying some of his words and commands but when after watching your vids we realize that we're not. and we would like to thank you for creating this Vids, they helped us a lot. Thanks Jeff. - Philippines (sorry for the Incorrect Grammar)

I really enjoyed watching this video a lot! Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I feel like things you said doesn't only apply in our dating relationship but also all relationships with people in our life. It could be our best friends, church community, family members, etc. We love them too much that they become so important to us, to our identity. We draw our identity in them instead of God. We idolize them when we should only be idolizing God. And it is not healthy. Absolutely not. I'm speaking from my recent experience with my best friend. I loved her too much that I focused too much on her and valued too much of her opinions on things I say or do when I really should be listening to God and drawing my identity from Him. And this is not healthy to our friendship as I was actually putting too much pressure on her. I'd get upset when she didn't focus on me as much as I did. Then, I started to communicate with God. I constantly prayed for our friendship to be secured in God, myself to be secured in Him and my identity to only be built in Him. At first, I was so frustrating because He didn't respond to me the way my human best friend would. He's slient. So, I started thinking about all means to help me focus on Him, which were prayers, Bible study and fellowship with other people. What happened was that when I started to really focus on Him, He took the burdens in my heart away, He lifted them up and put them on His shoulder. And I felt so relieved and secured to communicate with other people because I knew that no matter what their responses are, my identity would not be shaken because it's secured in Him. And that really helped my friendship with my human best friend too. Just like the triangle theory, the more we focus on God, the closer we get to each other. So yea, thank you so much for sharing this! I really loved it. And I also have a question for you: how to let someone down without discouraging them to come to church or having a negative impact on your friendship? Again, thanks so much for this! Love you both so much and God bless ♡♡

Thank you'll!! 😊 I enjoy you'lls video so much! An insight I agree with and brings me a little bit of happiness when I hear you'll speak of God and lovely advice. O my goodness.. I love God and all that He brings and takes away from our lives! 💖

thanks for telling me what the shirt said! I thought it said "I would rather be drinking" and I was really confused!

hahaha you cant see the "coffee" underneath drinking on his shirt. Funny stuff.

I wish y'all went to my church so y'all could be my mentors lol love you guys!

So true! 👏