"There are many christian boys, but a few godly men" WOW.

No offense meant, but if you're in a relationship for several years and still have doubts, there's something VERY wrong.

Yes! I was in a relationship for over a year, knowing that he was a bad influence, and knowing that he wasn't the right one for me. So one day I just said to God, do you really have anything better for me, because I loved this guy alot, and he showed me a picture of another life, with another man, and in that moment all my feelings faded away, and I knew that the best thing to do was to break up, I felt terrible at the time, but only a couple of weeks later God showed me the man of my dreams, who lives for God, and wants to get to know him, more and more. And btw, we're getting married in november. So happy you preaching this to others! God bless you.

Been single for 5 years now and I needed to hear this video. Thank you guys and I'll stay in faith.

The way that Alyssa looks at you 😍 you can't tell she is in love with you so much !!!!!! Love y'all and hope to find a relationship like yours!

I love how they look at each other lol. I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin and haven't had a relationship and I've been feeling a little pressured about that but I've always told myself that I don't want to settle. I want someone that is perfect for me not someone that I've picked just because "my time is running out."

I am so glad you made this because I am always trying to tell people not to settle! God has such an incredible plan for each of us and it breaks my heart when people settle and don't wait for that great love that God really has in store for them!

I just became celibate. It's exciting to go on this journey but I'm trying my best to keep my faith up. I even question why I'm doing it.

I'm 21 and not had a relationship yet. I try to remind myself of God's plan and honestly, I don't want to settle. I only want to date once. But its a little scary thinking of messing that up and potentially finding someone wrong for me. Waiting in this area can build up some big expectations but I know I need to remind myself no one's perfect.

This helped so much. Recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 and a half years. He was a great guy and I love him but I kept feeling like there were things that I just wasn't willing to settle with. I'm really hoping the Lord will heal me and reveal to me that I made the right decision. I feel like it's easier to break up with someone if there are major red flags. And there weren't. I just felt like there were many things that I want in a future husband that he didn't have. It's been a struggle and I'm just praying the Lord will show up because I'm so confused and scared.

I love how Alyssa looks and pays so much attention when Jeff speaks! ✌🏽

I've never seen someone have such love in their eyes when someone starts rambling. I do it too and I've only met one person who has understood. It's beautiful.

I love how she just stares at him agreeing with everything he says. She's so pleased and proud of him which warms my heart.

This really hit me hard. I've been struggling so much with my relationship with God and with my boyfriend. He's my best friend and I'm so scared to be away from him but I feel like God has a different plan for me. I don't know though but I've been praying about it and I just really wish I knew what to do.. I don't know what God is trying to teach me through all of this but it's really hard

I'm in a relationship right now and he is literally Gods answer to my prayers. My last relationship was with someone who, for various reasons, couldn't love me. Before that, I was abused. I was emotionally broken and depressed and lost. I settled. but now I'm with my best friend, a man who brings me closer to God and brings !e everything I ever dreamed of in a relationship. Don't settle, guys. God will answer you. Just give Him time to. He knows when you're ready.

Seriously loving your guys comments so much! Didn't realize this video would resonate with so many folks! PS I actually talk about our relationship (and some applicable advice) a few parts in my new book. Get it free here -> www.audible.com/jeff

I love boyfriend, but I feel like my "red flags" are: -He's aloof and I'm very open. -I wear my heart on my sleeve and he has a hard shell, he even says I'm mush. -We don't emotionally connect. -I've never had that "he's the one for me" moment. -He is very scientific while I'm more emotional and think with my heart

Can't tell you enough how much I love and appreciate your dating videos. They bring much clarity. Thanks for keeping them coming!

im 22 years old and ive been single my whole life, ive definitely been lonely but this was just what i needed, i dont want to feel self pity any more or any pity for that matter, this was the inspiration i needed to stay patient to see how great of a person God is saving for me

This video spoke directly to my heart; I have been in an unevenly yoked relationship for 5 years with a great guy, and haven't had the courage to walk away from it. Thank you so much for your guidance and ancouraging words today!!

Just finished your book this morning, really loved it I couldn't put it down. There where so many topics that challenged me in my own life and my own walk with God, especially when talking about topics you don't get talked about often in church, thank you. I will 100% be recommending your book to my friends and family. Again Thank You all the way from Edinburgh, God bless

These dating videos are very encouraging. Thank you so much! Sometimes people can't help me when I'm struggling, but these videos have really helped me during my lowest times.

I can't even stress how much I needed this video today. After a huge break up I had where I was dating him for a year and at 5 months I knew it was never gonna work. I felt so lonely these past couple days and I just needed to hear those words at the end. Thank you. 😊

Thank you so much Jeff. This topic has been going in my mind for so long, down to the point of depression. I have been best friends with this girl for three years (and it was really hard since we're country's away, 1,465km to be exact) and I have fallen too deep for her that I became obsessed with the fantasy that it would be "us" some day. While stumbling upon college, I realized that our calling and purpose is a lot different than I thought. She was a pastor's daughter and the daughter of my mum's best friens in her childhood so thats how we got to meet each other. She extremely wanted to be a missionary, but she can't go to missions because there is a rule in her church that only married couples can do missions so they won't be tempted. They also have a trend in their church that they marry very early for the sane reason. I can't judge because it happens to work for their ministry but I believe God has called me out to something that he can use my talents and best potential in something greater for me. I want to be a writer, excelling in the art of poetry (that's probably the reason why I'm a hopless romantic) and I want to create words that have impact, words that have God's power instilled inside them to inspire people and bring them closer to Christ. It was a great battle battle for me to give up on her but I know in my heart God has called me out to do this. I got so tired of her expectations of me to become her ideal man, but I knew I wasn't the person she was seeking. And it would be selfish for me to drag her in my journey that she wasn't meant to be in. I felt like I deserve a woman who would complement me in my life's purpose and support me 100 percent, but she had a different way of life to mine. I can't deny that she had been the greatest human being that understood me for who I was and I fell in love with Jesus more because of her, but sometimes like a scaffolding of a building, God will put people in your life to make you reach the higher skies but he takes them away in due time and I am thankful for that. This video has deeply inspired me to become the person God intended me to be and I finally feel free after feeling suffocated from that emotional burden. I recently wrote her a letter and some gifts as my goodbye for now as I am bettering myself in my craft and passion. I still haven't heard from her, and she very well may hate me now, but it was very well worth it to become the person that didn't need to hide behind the mask of my untrue self.

I was literally talking about this topic this morning with my bible study leader. Amazing timing- thank you so much for this. It was both affirming and encouraging. Love you guys!

This relates to me in so many levels right now! Thank you so much! It's like I told you my situation and you just responded every single comment from me. I literally jaw dropped each time I heard something that I needed to hear. God bless you guys!

I randomly just went across this video as i searched your name on KZfaq and I'm going through the same thing as what you guys were talking about. I just came home from church today laying everything down at the foot of the cross. Cried my heart out as I told him I did what he asked me to do which is to let go of someone I thought and prayed for that's the best significant other for me to be with. But this video really just shifted my perspective on what's happening. We need to break our own hearts just to have the other person's heart beating with joy and happiness. Selfless love. Thank you.

i was at gateway last night and wow your word hit me so hard! thank you so much! God Bless you man keep doing what your doing!!!! i am following you now and i cant wait to watch all your videos!

I'm 28 and this video is SO applicable! I'm at a point where i feel like there are no more options so the urge to settle is even stronger than it was when I was younger. This was so encouraging.

Thank you so much! 5 mins before I found this video, I was tearfully praying over a break up. I was praying for wisdom. Should I try and go back? I accidently bumped this video while watching something else, and your message was the answer to my prayer and just what I needed. God is so faithful. I thank you for your people God! Continue to bless and guide these two as they continue their ministery!

This is amazing! I just got out of a year and a half relationship and this is something I'm learning. If there is one thing you shouldn't settle for it's the one person your going to spend the rest of your life with.

+Jefferson Bethke Can you talk about physical things within dating? No one ever addresses it. They always go around or just say do what you feel is right. I think you would have a really good perspective in a talk like this.

Your channel is ALWAYS my go to for christian dating advise or words of wisdom and encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you for what you do. This was EXACTLY what I needed and isn't the first time that I felt one of your messages speaking directly to me. I love how God works like that by speaking through others!

I love when you and Alyssa do videos together! God bless you both!

Yes. I pray this is an eye opener for many

Exactly what I needed to hear. It is so difficult not having a mother figure in my life to just seek advise or counsel I enjoy watch your videos it really brings my life into perspective.

I'm always glad with your videos about dating, but this one seemed to come out in the exactly time of my sadness. Last time I "loved" someone was 2 years ago and since that I couldn't even find other people beautiful, but this video and your marriage has been encouraging me to start over. You know when you feel like you just have to be open up and it will be your time? I just felt this. Thank you so much for your intimacy with God, he really uses you both more than you will ever know. God bless!

I'm sitting here crying because I feel like this video was made for me. Thank you both SO much for letting God speak directly through you both to my heart! Oh my word! Just the words I needed to hear. God bless you both. Praying for you guys and love you bunches!

I was fumbling around with my headphones and accidentally ended up on this video.. seeing the title made me freeze, literally 5 seconds beforehand I was thinking omg I need to figure this out and I was blessed with this video, I don't usually believe or read too much into signs but DAAAMN I'm soo happy I came across this!!!

I love you guys. Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I’m going through this exactly right now and am in the grieving process of my breakup. This whole break up has brought me to my knees before God and I’ve been reflecting on what I need to work on in regards to my relationship with God, how to love people better, and how to love my future significant other better. Again thanks you guys, God bless.

I SO needed this right now in my life. Thanks for reminding me that Gods best for me is out there!

I'm going through a tough time right now but this video really pointed out A LOT of great things that I need to apply to my life. I'm so blessed I'm able to watch all your videos and read your books! Thank you for being so genuine and sharing your knowledge :) God Bless you and Alyssa

Thank you so much for this. I really needed to hear this advice since I am experiencing some dating issues on my own right now. This guy and i like each other, but I just have this feeling that things won't work out in the long run. It's hard to have self control when you're getting attention.

I just experienced this and this resonated so deeply within me. Thank you.

Thank you both for ministering on this topic!! It was sooo helpful to me! God bless you both!!

You guys' videos have helped me a lot :) I thank God that I found your channel. I was dating a non-believer for a while (it would be 3 years in September) and I broke up with him a couple days ago because I've been doing Bible studies and getting more serious about having a relationship with God and aligning my life with His commands. It was really hard, I cried for hours but I know God has great plans for me and I've never felt closer to Him and appreciative of His love and mercy :')

Such a powerful message that I think we all need to be reminded of! Thank you so much for you and your wife's videos. They're so powerful and always bring new truths and challenges into my life. God bless.

I'm with you on that one about you being even closer with God after the break up. Sometimes that kind of pain is needed for us to grow ourselves even more and prepare even better for the next (and hopefully last) relationship.

I've been having a rough time for the past few weeks and just watched this video and it made me feel so much better and brought my hopes up and keeping me positive. Thank you such much, the both of you, for doing what you're doing and making this video. It means a lot. :)

Man, I've been struggling hardcore with this the last week or so. Preciate this video big time. I know God has that for me but sometimes it feels like it's never a reality for me. Thanks for posting this!

I am so encouraged by all your vlogs. This is such a good reminder. Thank you!!

This video gave me the confirmation I needed that I'm making the right decision. Thank you guys and keep up God's work 😊

This video really got to my core. It is just what I needed. My boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up right before college just to give each other time and space to see what we want with our lives. I've been having the hardest time not talking to him because he was my best friend and i do care for him so much. But now that I dont have him I have really opened my heart to the Lord and really have grown in my faith. I know no matter what I will be with who I am supposed to at the end of the day. And if it is with my previous boyfriend great, if not then i am very excited to see the man the Lord brings into my life. God Bless and thank you for this video.

I love the way you two interact with one another, you understand each other completely and your message is so clear in this video, thank you! P.S. the way she looks at you is too cute, the love between you is so visible and shines bright!

Beautiful videos you post Jefferson! This is what my generation (90's kids) need to hear!

So glad I found your channel. Great message, I really needed to hear that, I feel that way lately. Thank you for the video!

Thank yall so much for this video! So encouraging! I have had to let go of relationships because I knew deep down in my heart that it was not the best God had for me. I would try to rationalize them but I still had red flags inside. I have found that time really shows who a person truly is and to trust God when He says "no".

I love you guys!! Thanks for the refreshing message. It is something I already know however I appreciate you spreading the good word!! God bless you both on your journey.

I met someone at 16 years old who was 22. Sex before marriage was always something I was against - not even because of my faith, I actually didn't come to accept Jesus until a few months ago after this relationship ended - but because of respecting my own body. This relationship started off basically as sexual abuse. To justify having my body touched before marriage - I tried to make it work for FOUR YEARS. I went through him lying, committing infidelity constantly and eventually through emotional, spiritual, financial and physical abuse. It was hell and awful but I convinced myself I was dirty and unclean and had no other option because I'd given myself to him. It was about now that I became friends with a couple who loved Jesus. They were never pushy in any way but just their presence in my life and watching how they acted in comparison to how I was being treated made me realise. I escaped the person I was with and drew closer to these friends. I started going to their church and hanging out with them more and more often and eventually, after quite a few awful things happening of me trying to do things on my own and God going "IM RIGHT HERE!" - I gave my heart to him. I was leaving previously stated friends home after catering one of their sons' birthdays and I was in a car accident. The other car flipped and it was awful and I was extremely shaken up. The friends heard the commotion and after settling everything with ambulance/police/insurance exchange/etc - led me back to their place. They sat me down on their bed (away from their 5 kids because I was quite hysterical still and didn't want to scare them) and started praying for me and it was like - indescribable. This warmth of love and protection and peace even in all this just washed over me. Everything is so messed up in my life right now - it is insanely stressful and I have so many things going on. But I carry that burden with Jesus. Everything is better when you trust in Him. He is our Father, our Brother and our Friend. Take it from me - do NOT try to do it alone and do NOT ever view yourself as unworthy of getting out of a relationship because of differing circumstances. You can be made clean again. There is no way for me to become a virgin again but from accepting Him, my body is once again a temple for my future husband. Put your trust in Him and you will be set free!!!! Tattoo on my hand - "PSALMS 118:5" - "In my anguish I cried out to the Lord and he answered by setting me free!"

This really blessed by heart today, although I have never been in a relationship. its trusting in God who that person he wants me to be with and not settling for less then that. Thank you for sharing.

I needed this today.. Alyssa please do more videos on insecurity and self worth!

I needed to hear this message. Thank you so much for sharing this!

Jeff and Alyssa, I just want to say thank you so much for putting these videos up because it's great to hear such great advice from a married couple who isn't to much older then me. This video really hit home for me because I went through a really bad break up last summer in which my girlfriend of 3+ years ended things with me sort of because of the reasons that Alyssa talked about with each of us caring for each other but there still being some red flags in our relationship as a whole. While now I can look back and say that it was really for the best I related so much when you guys talked about trusting that God has someone out there that's even more perfect for me. I struggled so long after she broke up with me and getting over it because I thought that she was the best thing for me and that no relationship could ever be better then that one and I was honestly mad at God because I wondered for so long what I had done for Him to have taken it away from me just like that. At first I just prayed that He would bring her back to me and eventually I realized He wasn't. So, instead I started praying for Him to just heal me and not feel so upset and sad all the time. He gradually healed me and as I healed I started to pray that He would just show me His vision for me. I didn't ask for anything specific but just that He would lead me wherever He wanted me to go and meet who He wanted me to meet. To this day I still have been praying that same prayer and by learning more about prayer (and listening to you guys lol) I've started to pray that in my waiting He prepares me to be the best version of myself that I can be when He brings the right girl to me. It's crazy how God can use certain situations in our lives to bring us closer to Him and looking back now I am very thankful for it and just wanted to say thank you to you guys because you have been a tremendous influence in my life in such a positive way. I watch every video you guys put up and just try to take in every bit of information that I can. You guys are great role models and just know that what you are saying is reaching people and helping people so please keep it coming. If you're ever in New Jersey feel free to stop by for some coffee! -Drew

Wow this is only the second video and already subscribed. How crazy it is that God has brought you guys to me right when I’m struggling with these topics. Glory to God wow

This is an eye opener. I loved your approach to the topic. Well respected and actually motivates me to get back on my feet. Thanks man

Some greeeeeat nuggggggz here. Love that you included singleness too and the best of the other person. Great stuff, so thankful that you guys are making this much needed voice for this on the Internet!! :)

Thanks so much for making this!! And that we do not have to settle even though it may take longer for the find the right person!

Incredible message!

This is soo true. I just got out of a relationship with a "good christian boy". Lately i've been praying more, reading the word more and truly asking for guidance and one of the things i felt is that he was not the man for me so we broke up. This video truly hit home. LOve you guys! THANKYOU!

I really love how you do these videos. Especially together😊

Thank you Jeff & Alyssa, truly inspiring and was in NEED of hearing something like this lately so thank you once again, God bless.

Wow you both have an awesome way of telling it like it is. Thank you. So refreshing listening to real people.

Great message, great people, and I hate to bring up a single negative thing... But maybe not interrupt or talk over your wife so much? She takes the courage and time to speak and then she is talked over. That would be so discouraging.

Thank you for this video! I was feeling alone this and i turned to God and i told him how i felt about one girl and how it hurts to think about her after it all.ended . I asked The Lord for comfort and hours later this video shows up and i knew God was giving me answers . THANK YOU !!

I'm 20 and spent the majority of my teen and college years investing time and energy in the wrong kind of people. With so many idealistic expectations around, the temptation to simply settle and the natural drive we have in all of us to find someone was incredibly destructive. It's when I became secure in myself, my abilities and most importantly God that the need for companionship lost its appeal. I'm at a stage in life where I'm valuing time with my loved ones, embracing the love of God and growing in faith in all things. It's a beauiful and sometimes painful experience, but it's worth it. Stay strong whoever you are. if he/she isn't right for you, don't stay to make them happy or make yourself feel a little less lonely. you are much more than that! God Bless and whole-heartedly all the best!

It's interesting how when I first started watching this series, I was really doubting my relationship. I stuck it out because I truly felt we were together for a reason. I asked God to remove him from my life if it wasn't meant to be, but to do it in a positive and mutual way. We've been together for 3 years and year number 2 was really rocky but we're here and happy. Sometimes you have to leave but sometimes God is preparing a breakthrough. We just need to learn to ask for wisdom, discernment, and guidance during difficult situations. God will give us the best if we are willing to allow Him to work. Thanks Jeff & Alyssa for sharing some great advice!

Thank you! Really needed to hear this! I have been worried about my future boyfriend, so this was so Good for me to hear!😊❤

this video is so full of wisdom. Thanks Jefferson and Alyssa!!

Wow! Thanks guys, this video was just on time! I truly do believe that what God has for me is for me!😊

This video really spoke to me. Thanks for bringing me the truth tonight!

Thank you so very much for this video. I am in a relationship right now and it is long distance. I am a senior in college and he is in my hometown. But for the past couple weeks I have felt something is off. Not because our relationship is bad but because he is not a Christian. This is what I really needed to hear. God has blessed me with this video and I just want to say thank you. It is not easy, I have spent ten months with this guy and my heart hurts but I know God is by me 100%

Totally confirmation for a 2 year relationship that I knew in 1 year that God has shown me this is not the best. Thank you soo much!!! The toughest part is when that person doesn't want to let go, and family has gotten involved. Trying to write your own love story, knowing fully well God isn't in it. Thank you soo much

Thanks for the video. Really, thanks. This past days I've been doubting the decision of breaking of a relationship I had for two and a half years, even though we broke up like five months ago. Needless to say, this video made me cry, but it brought me peace. When Alyssa talked about staying in the relationship because of having invested so much time... Well, that was always the argument I would give. Point is, these days I was feeling really scared and at a certain point in the video I felt so much peace. Thank you. My heart feels so much steadier right now. Thank you guys so much! God bless you!

the way you both look at eachother when the other talks

You guys are amazing!, Thank you for sharing this important topic with everyone...God bless you!

This was spot on!!! Thank you for your ministry

Wow. This is what I needed to hear. I will carry this tidbit with me for future relationships. You guys are great teachers. Love u guys!❤️

I have watched this video since the first day it was posted, and I still go back to it time to time. it's so good & has so much wisdom that I always need to remind myself of! thanks again for this video Jeff & Alyssa 😊 (*I also love the line about Godly Men & Christian "boys")

I'm 23 years old and I was in a relationship where it wasn't working yet we were still holding on to one another. We even got engaged. It lasted for about a year and a half until it was broken off. To say that it hurt bad is an understatement. I tried to win him back, I tried bargaining with God, but nothing worked. It just wasn't Gods plan for my life. When I had exhausted all my options, in desperation I cried out to God and He answered- showing me that He was and is my first love. To go off of what Jeff said, the breakup was what I needed in order to put my focus back on God. I believe there is someone else that God has in store for me, but in the meantime He's showing me the importance of waiting for His timing and relying totally on Him for acceptance and love. I hope this is an encouragement to someone, for I can truly say and believe now that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. The same is true for you. God bless and to God be the glory

Wow!!! I needed this!!! Right when i needed to hear this the most! Thank u!

Thank you so much for this video! You should do a video on how to deal with batrayal of a bf or gf too. I love these videos of yours.

I love you guys. You have seriously helped my relationship so much. We watch your videos together and I just want to say thank you.

This video was so encouraging and beautiful.. I really needed this today! God is truly using you! Wow I am amazed right now ❤

This is so helpful - thanks Jeff and Alyssa!

I appreciate these videos so much. The way that you guys add on to what the other said is perfect because you guys don't miss a thing. You are very thorough and I love that. Bless you!! :)

I really love these videos! Can you do one on the purpose of marriage, and knowing when you are ready to date/if you should date someone?

Wow thank you so much for this truth and encouragement and being real! Many people can be heartless with this topic of break ups and not settling. I've watched you 2 speak before and the spirit told me to watch one of your videos in order to get some clarity within my own situation. I heard just what God needed me to hear:) Thanks again!

great message guys! May God bless you two throughout your marriage.

Amen, great advice! Thank you Jeff

Great video!! Love your videos especially the ones about dating etc which have really helped me over the past few years! You are both so helpful and encouraging - so thank you for that! :) looking forward to reading your book - its definitely next on my list! :)