For one-on-one coaching, group sessions and much more head to patreon.com/notdefining. I'd love to see you there. For private coaching with Mark visit: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.

I really needed to hear more success stories like this when I was growing up. I only heard about the guys who got married, had kids, and at 40 decided they were “really gay” and tore their families apart. I found it much easier to just stay single than to risk messing up someone else’s life. Thank you for sharing.

Dear Mark, I am a 76 year old grandmother sitting in Northern California countryside, being tickled to death by all the men in my life who missed the boat by saying they'd never been interested in their own gender. I get how the men in my generation were raised to be toxic to themselves and others, but I knew at the time that they couldn't all be telling the truth. It seems a shame to have lived this long without hearing someone tell your story, but it is a lovely blessing to hear it today. Oh, and I agree with her, by the way. Love & light!

I’m a 46 year old Bi-Guy and I have been open with every woman I have ever dated. Some women are into it and some are not. I had a boyfriend when I met my future wife. Im happily married , with kids, and have been for 14 years. Be honest with yourself and the people you love. Don’t worry about your date outing you when you tell them. Women tend to keep confidences like this pretty well. I don’t hide my orientation, but I don’t broadcast either. Love the content

Mark, you are a legend. You’ve been through a hell of a lot, and not only have you pushed through each experience to become stronger and to know yourself better, but you’ve channeled those experiences into helping others - and I want you to know that you have helped me immensely. This channel is a safe space to me and I come to your videos when I feel like I need that confidence lift and they always help. Thank you and keep being you!

Dude I cannot express how much I relate to this, the feelings of panic upon getting all that you ever wanted. I struggle with hocd and rocd so hard because of my sexuality and the shame and confusion. Thank you for sharing these stories. I’m sorry to hear that you had to go through the medical problems that you did. Sending you a hug from America ❤

Hey Mark! I just discovered your channel within the last week or so and I'm enjoying your content a lot. It's really helping me understand bi-men/bi people. I do consider myself bi even though I would say I am mostly hetero, I do have some attraction to women and have had a few relationships with women. I have also been in a 6-month polyamorous relationship (two bi girls one straight guy) that did not work out well. But most of all, I found your content because I find a pattern in my life, I LOVE BI MEN! I find that I have been attracted to gay and bi men because of their sensitive and nurturing side that I rarely find in straight men. Kinda like your wife in this story says that she thinks bi men are hot, I totally find bi men hot! Attractive on the inside and out. On Christmas Eve I met a bi man who I totally instantly had a deep connection with and though I have learned he seems to lean towards preferring men at this stage in his life, I thought I should learn more about bi men and more about myself. Your channel is helping me understand why tend to fall in love with gay/bi men so easily. Now I am even wondering if being in a poly relationship with two bi men might be more preferable for me than my prior poly relationship which was two girls one straight guy. Anyway. Thank you for your content. Now I don't feel guilty saying I am bi, even though if I never had a relationship with a woman again, I would be ok. I would still check them out and be intrigued by them, but just because they are not my preference, doesn't mean that I am a fake bi. I had felt like maybe I was kidding myself or that I was fake, but know I just know that I do like women, but I prefer men much more, and the men I prefer the MOST of all are bi men.

Just wanted to stop in with my fake account to say that I appreciate what you do! I realized very recently that I'm likely bi. Your channel has been incredibly validating. It's been a pretty lonely rollercoaster so far and finding your content has been a real blessing so thanks!

Your wife has good taste You is a man ❤❤❤

New sub here! Im so happy i found your channel! As someone Bi I feel rejected in a way by society sometimes. Played you while I clean and it feels like Im listening to a friend talking to me on the phone. 😊

I wanted to let you know, you and your channel mean a lot to me. I found your channel through you talking about polyamory because I’m polyamorous oriented and it’s hard to find allies, so when I find channel supporters, I like them. But the more I watched your channel the more educated I became about other things, such as transgender. I’ve never heard it so eloquently explained as you explained it. You actually helped me understand and it eventually made me discover that I’m agender. In a sense, you helped me discover more about myself, learn more about others, and keep my mind open with an accepting heart. It also helped that you’re also very accepting. As I stated in the beginning, I can come off too strong even when I’m genuinely curious about something (a wonderful autistic trait that is a lack of a social cue and can get me into fights online from simple misunderstandings), but you welcomed me, answered my questions, and treated me with respect. I wanted to thank you for all you did for me, even though you probably never knew it 🙏🏻😊

Powerful series of videos - I don't feel so alone anymore even though I live thousands of kilometres in Australia - thanks for sharing your story -it really impacted me, and your channel has helped me a lot with fresh info. I'm 52 now and settled as bi married man. The journey to self-realisation wasn't easy - needed therapy help for childhood sexual abuse trauma as well but I'm here and I have survived and have wife who able to accept as I was - just NOT straight over 25 years ago, having known what she was getting into from the get-go. Stay safe Mark. :)

Marc! I just discovered this channel and I'm loving the conversation between you and your community of followers. I'm not bi or non-binary...I'm a man who knew I was attracted to men from my earliest memory. Once I became sexually active, I found myself drawn to guys who were bi/fluid...and was often shamed by my gay friends for not wanting a "serious boyfriend" (because in many of their minds "bi/fluid" men could not be serious partners). However, the relationships that I had were passionate, affirming and respectful and when they ended: two have beautiful families with wives and another has a decade long marriage to a man. The sexual attraction of our 20s and 30s, has evolved into beautiful friendships now in that we're in our late40s/early 50s. What I've learned on this life journey is that we're not one thing or defined by one thing.

Thank you for sharing this! I was trying to understand his hesitation and anxiety. Now I know that there's some sort of shame. I thought I wasn't enough.

Bi girl here and i can say YES I AM SO ATTRACTED TO GAY/BI MEN ITS SO HOT

Thank you for sharing. So beautiful and so inspiring.

Your story is interesting thank you for sharing 💙💜

Thank God Mark you're free of that cancer! And you're right..... Be yourself, because long term stress affects the adrenal glands, which can lower the immune system, opening the door for potential cancer, etc., etc.

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story with us. I am a married man and have been with my wife for over 20 years and I finally just came out to her as bisexual. Her reaction was not as wonderful as your story, but things are getting better and I am confident things will be okay. Your videos have been such a valuable resource for me and its helped validate so much of myself and I just wanted to thank you so much.

I am from India .. i really so much happy to listen that u got your wife 😊😊😊 .. congratulations 😅👏

I came out to my wife after 15 years married that I had a boyfriend for 7 years before her. In 2022 we celebrated 33 faithful marriage but I still fell attracted to both men & women, whether they were born into the correct body or wished they were born into the correct body (Pansexual).. I told her that she is the love of my life and no one shall ever enter.

I dont support this way of being towards another person. I have attractions to both genders, but when I am with one person, I am focussed on them and their feeling of safety. They should know this fairly early....not later in the relationship.

thanks for sharing

This is very helpful, thank you Mark! Just want to know how did the relationship with this girl you mentioned in vedio go? Did you have fantasy about guys when you were with her? And if you did, how did you deal with it to balance your relationship, or do both of you agree on polygamy.. Looking forward to receiving your answer!

Of course this must have meant to you a lot when you've been after so much trauma and guilt. I thought however that this is much more common thing? Especially when a woman is bi, a lot of guys find that sexy. My bf is bi and I always found that sexy, just as his ex did, but I feel a bit hesitant, that I wouldn't want to sexualize him you know? For example, if a girl has been reading lots of lgbt fanfiction and then dates a bi man, it can go like: wow, that's so cool, can we have a threesome, can I watch you with another man? That would be maybe too much enthusiasm I guess - but still way better than lack of acceptance of course. On the other hand, what I like about loving his bisexuality... It REALLY makes a difference and I wouldn't want a cis straight man again. I love his flexibility about gender roles, about his feminine traits, the gender fluid way he dances, his subtle mannerisms, that mix of male and fem energy, how we can talk about people of different genders, how we feel like friends and partners. To me this is actually cool, not fantasies about someone's bisexuality, someone's experiences, but celebrating every inch of who they are.

Hi, this video really clicked with me, Thank you very much

💖 💜 💙 thank you for this 🙏🏻 f*ck shame - we are such beautiful colorful multiverses Each one of us ♥️

Congratz handsome 😌

You are fascinating and inspiring. So glad you beat cancer. Question: at the end you said "former wife." Not sure if you mean to say "former girlfriend, now wife." Are you still married to her?

I want a bisexual man to get to know and be like a woman. I am a simple man who would love to build a relationship with a bisexual man, but I don’t know. There is nothing that encourages me to do that or helps me choose my destination.

Beutiful story

I observed that there was a huge difference between your affect in this video where you talked about women and your video about why you like men. In the latter you were so excited and alive, but in the one about your wife and women you were blah , almost sad, no passion. I was so relieved when she and I divorced.

In our modern times we still talk about sex as a social issue. Who cares another person's sex life. Please set us free. Let's stop labeling people's sex orientations.

I would love to interview you

I think polyamory should be bought up first hand just as I feel bisexuality should be, alerting someone later at least imo will alert them that something may not be right in the relationship although I have no interest in feminine ways about my self to have celebrated because I just dont have any lol, but like yiuve said there are no rules, insincts rule the nest somewhat, if I feel I need one partner and this person is a women then I personslly will consider myself straight, im more lileky to present my self as bi with a male and even polyamorous from the start but these are just my prefrences, with gender consideration, a bi women may also chanhe the role I play with my sexual prefrences where as a straight women may not 😁

Did you say former wife? Or did you mean former girlfriend? What happened?

Does she have a sister for me 😊

this is a nightmare coming alive

Why did you think so seriously about making a commitment to a woman as opposed to a man? Is it because women give you the societal exclusion and then having sex with men is so easy giving you the sexual release you need? Or is it a result of your adolescent insecurity?

You lost me at the "non binary" and "queer" stuff 🙄