It's still really bad but it comes from a different place with mothers, a place that only makes sense to the person in it. If a person went through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy as a single black mother then goes on to raise you as a single black mother, where does such a damaging speech fit into that? I'd be more confused that hurt...

My birther didn't give me that speech, but other words she said, and her actions showed me she did not give a f-k about me. I haven't felt love from that woman for as long as I can remember (4). I'll be 40 in nov. 🤷🏾‍♀️

"I wish I never had you" and "I brought you into this world, I can (have the right to?) take you out of it" are two phrases no parent, whether it be mother or father should ever say but too many do.

My (white) mother has a similar mentality. It's kinda surreal listening to a parent say that they value you less then they food you give you, sure brings alot of other shit to light. I don't genuinely don't believe anyone can believe that, but they act like it. And if they can't figure it out, and they can't change then... I won't be talking to mine for much longer.

This was my first thought too

That sounds like my Dad...apart from the black bit🤔To be fair to him he was much better once he remarried.

fr man, it took my brothers death at the hands of the police for my dad to break down his walls, in the fucking twilight of his life, but i guess it better than no progress and hes better with his grandkids. My nephew runs my dads house doing shit that wouldve gotten me put through a wall.

That just sounds like dads in general, unfortunately.

@@princejellyfish3945hard disagree. hard. My white friends dads were nothing like mine. They were always trying to be friends with their sons, i heard my friends dads say they loved ME more then my own father growing up.

@@jessehenderson2967 well good for your white friends. I don't think they're the majority however.

Hard realization for me was reliving my formative years, trying to recall a single time my dad said "i love you" My dad the same a Julius, and Julius dad. I plan to change that with my kids. They will see a respectable, male figure in their life, that is not afraid to be emotional with his kids.

I can relate. My Dad never told me that he loved me…not in 84 years…well 50 for me. But…but we had a home, two cars, plenty of food, nice clothes, I could always get money out of him (more so than from my tight fisted Mom 😂)…I never got a, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, my bad etc”. The WORK that we must do within ourselves in order to reconcile this is great…it’s a big job, but not impossible. I’m proud to say that I did NOT carry on this Negro PTSD to my children. We hug, say I love you, I’ve apologized for any past indescresions raising them as a young, naive single Mom of two. If a child can get that…it’s a start. I never had that..the acknowledgment of wrongdoing, unfairness, no emotional connection…but I had two parents that showed up everyday and that alone gave me a strong sense of security that many of my peers did not have in the drug run of the 80’s/90’s…and I thank my parents for that. My Mom is still alive, my Dad passed three years ago. I feel blessed to have done my best to understand that my parents had their own unaddressed issues whilst still managing to cover the basics…and I realize that some of us didn’t even get that. Forgiveness and understanding is for YOU. Happy Mothers Day, may you and yours be blessed and stay safe.❤❤❤

You're looking at this wrong... He taught you how to deal with the world

My dad was the opposite, he said I love you a lot, but his actions always said otherwise. It's a weird world

People usually show you they love you. It's the most genuine way. People will say anything and not mean it. Watch what people do.

My mom would do this to me as a means to inflict emotional pain to manipulate me. She thinks shes better than other women and to an extent, she is and isn't to me. She comes off as controlling regardless if I'm independent or she's the one involved

Stone is overrated at this point.

“ They? “

I mean I'm not sure size and necessity of the role is what dictates. Whether it's a leading or supporting role, I mean the huge and very important role of Hannibal in silence of the lambs was a supporting role. So it's no less prestigious really to get the supporting actor Oscar it really is just a matter of screen time I think.

​@@madcat789 Can not viola and stone both be amazing? Is it not the system snubbing one more? Does it help to take down one woman in defense of one who is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy under loved by the institution? Viola deserves sooooooo much more 10 toes down. But, stone is still good too. Differently in a way, I might argue. Viola is dope, period.

​@@ryanfitzgerald9833Except she literally played the same role in the film that she did a few years before on Broadway (winning the Best Actress Tony). They did something similar years before when they nominated Haley Joel Osment for Best Supporting Actor in The Sixth Sense, despite the fact that the movie revolves around him.

what the actual fuck. and showing a fifth grader??? disgusting.

Sheesh that's heavy af for elementary school

@@jevonp Well they gotta trauma bond em young or the programming won't work.

This is crazy cause I thought my school was out of line for trying to take us to a cotton field

Man i went 4 times... I still ain't recover smh

I bet it would

I still remember seeing the castration jars as an elementary student. Never felt more hated and aware of my blackness.

The blacks in wax museum was terrifying but I learned a lot.

Why are they taking elementary students to this museum? This would traumatize me as an adult

@@Nightlight17 the 90s were some wild times.

that's why im doing one on diss tracks next lol

Foreign man in a foreign comment section. Love your videos dude. You put me on to lil bill and I'm grateful for that

PREACH

I’m a lesbian and you’re right !

Yea too much is just being gay to them. Funny how you being your self is shoving it. Honestly they would prefer you either stay alone for life or convert to Jesus as a gay and say your sinful. lol I chose neither and I’m bi, shit still piss my mom off even if with a dude

No too much is you being out there and overstepping boundaries. The fact that you don't recognize this as happening disingenuous. You aren't 'always' victims. Far from it.

​@@bmoe4609lmao 😂 valid

How did your dad not pass as white for 30 years? What happened after the 30 years? Did he get what Michael Jackson had?

@@jimmyalfonda3536 Nope, his skin just went from brown to white as he got older. Same thing happened to his mother. I never met my grandfather from that side so I don't know how he was. I think this is pretty common for people from some communities in eastern europe and the balkans, places that had a lot of Turkish influence from the Ottoman period. That side of my family is Magyar.

Troy is a Black character embedded in a political saga that started way before he got there. Troy’s Blackness is central to this story - it’s not the only theme- but August Wilson was writing about Blackness in the New World- it’s specific yet can be appreciated thematically for sure. The themes are universal- the added component of race is the specific and does lead to an historical embodied context that does add another level of significance and complexity.

@@happygucci5094 100%, no argument.

@@peterkorisanszky2950 🫡✊🏽😊

Stay frosty bro

Relate to this (queer, black, afab). I'm so glad you're in a better place now ❤

Dang

This video has been the best thing I've seen all week. A lot of people from different backgrounds relating their stories here. I honestly think one day there will be a new diagnosis, not like BPD but something different that labels this kind of father. The abusive, possibly violent (in my case physical abuse) always mental abuse, who is very impossible. You can be a perfect kid with straight A's but the abuse will continue. You will never hear a sorry, even if you are treated horrendously by a misjudged incident (by his own definition). Inability to feel guilt, even acknowledgement of guilt just makes them angry. A repeated excuse especially due to knowing how ugly their behaviour is "Well I don't have to be friends with you, you're my son". While other fathers tell their sons about the world. Mentor them on relationships. Want them to have an easy life where they struggled. It's as if this type of father has insecurity from childhood and subconsciously hates to see a young boy have confidence and his whole life ahead of him, be happy and enjoy his youth, take advantage of his more care free years to socially blossom, In my case my father was totally pampered, he had a rich father. His father allowed him to do anything, go out late, have fun, have many girlfriends. Whereas I was abused day after day as a small boy, when I became a teen he would berate me for going out and having a social life, then also berate me for being introverted and lacking confidence. It's like seeing their likeness, young (something they can never get back) happy hurts them. It's such a weird complex and the sad result is they don't stop until likely some children snap, attempt or commit sewyside (sp for youtube filters), have a broken life and inability to thrive. I always wonder how many young men are robbed of their future due to this. I could go on and on about how senseless it is and reading others stories here we all suffered the same. The excuse of the macho mentality "well I don't have to be your friend" is so tragic because if you go on the Fences video you see so many people acting like Troy is a good father, not someone with clear issues. That's the thing, bragging about "putting a roof over your head" and "food on the table" is stupid. You give your son life you owe that as a bare minimum not to be an incompetent father. It's not something to brag about and hold over someones head. And I'm sure others experienced the threats of homelessness, you don't like how I abuse you how about you go live on the street huh, oh what's that I've ruined your future so now you are more dependent on me, great now I can treat you with even more impunity and hold it over your head. I have to stop here but guys, we all have our experiences, our trauma and our wish we had better. We had to watch other people who had normal simple relationships and wondered "why me?". The best thing to do is to break the cycle. I cannot wait until I settle down with a good woman and I have my own son so I can do right. I learned so much about how not to be a father and I have so much love to give to my future family having seen how I still managed to succeed but would have achieved incredible things if I not only didn't have the abuse to deal with but true love and support the whole way through.

A bit of both in most cases

If you bring someone into this world that didn't ask to be brought into this world, then I would think it is your duty to raise them.

Vulnerability. They are afraid if they show vulnerabilities that you will too in the world. They want you to keep your fence up so no one can hurt you. They weren't taught how to be safe AND vulnerable and so they dont demonstrate that to the children.

It’s what they were told, generational bad parenting.

If you actually dont like yourself can you even actually like anyone else? I would say no. Or at least not in the same way people who do like themselves can like other people. Not to say you cant have healthy relationships as a self hating person but i think it does stifle deeper connections.

Survival skills my brother some people used violence, some used humour we all were just trying to survive. Once our situations improve and we age we can look back and analyse but at the time it’s hard. If the only tool you have is a hammer. Giving your kids other tools is definitely key but as a father myself I find a lot of the tools I have don’t apply his situations. The best I’ve come up with is getting him to try to acknowledge his emotions and not be controlled by them. I want him to be more stoic but I don’t want him to repress his feelings. As with most things balance is the key but it’s easier said than done.

@@jjrilla___2664 Yeah, I hear that. I used humour mostly at school since most of the kids there were from soft backgrounds. I agree, I'm not nearly as angry at my dad as I was when I was young because I think he just tried to teach me the couple of things he'd found that worked for him. I reckon I'm going to have that issue with my son too. Now that I live in a nicer area I don't really have to worry about him needing to fight physically nearly as much but I also feel out of place and like I can't relate to what he'll need to deal with growing up. I'm just hoping it'll be easier for him and I'll have more to teach than I got taught. I think you're right about having a bigger toolbox being the key.

​@FabledAllOut I think you should teach what your father taught you, but also give your kid the history of why you learned it, why your father taught it to you and then ask him to tell you what he's learning in school and what things he's doing differently. Teaching is an important part of learning and personally a lot of fathers rob their kids that experience because they feel like they know better or simply don't have the time.

Largely depends on what you considered being picked on and how your school handled it. I don't know a single person that wasn't atleast made fun of for good reason. However not everyone took it to the level of physicality. Teachers, administrators and even the Principal will overlook the behavior preceding the retaliation and often times just punish the person who did the most damage. Being violent isn't enough to deter kids unless they are craven by nature themselves. They always want to see just how far they can push you.

@@tnk4me4 this is so true. I learned a lot watching my dad and later on figured out why he did the things he did. I’ve tried tell me son things but noticed he mostly has to learn the hard way by going through it himself. It would be could to tell him everything I learned from my dad, my life lessons and hope he makes his on path. Sometimes it comes off as a lecture and I see him switch off 😂

Sometimes it’s all you can really do, promise yourself they’ll be going in a home 😭. Also let this be a wake up call to anyone who says that having kids means you won’t die alone :)

@@malleuscalgary Its not like you read anyway

Don't put him in a home, let him be homeless.

Honestly, he still raised you and unless you absolutely HATE who you are. Try to see if that relationship gets better later in his life. I find it typically does

Seems a bit extreme on your part. You don’t have to except his attitude, but the man did pay for your food, housing, upbringing, and he did raise you. You don’t know the weight of parenting. Yeah he’s not a good parent, but he did do all those things. For you to then put him in the worst home you can find, seems like you’re doing something even worse to him.

Your identity to them exists only insofar as it can service their desire to see an antithesis to the men in their lives they hold contempt towards. Welcome to being a man today.

I really don't see what is wrong with what you are saying

@@wethepplwhorblackerthanblu6442children should be allowed to be children

​@wethepplwhorblackerthanblu6442 what is wrong with you?

lol same

It can be applied to any race. All sons want their fathers approval and all fathers wonder if they're enough. If they don't evaluate their parenting, they probably are failing somewhere. No one is perfect

And Arab fathers too...I'll never forgive my father for giving me constant anxiety and stress to the point of where I come home screaming and crying in my pillow to let out my trauma

it applies to literally all western men, we just see bill's presentation of the particular flavor of western masculinity as it pertains to black men. but the bottom core of it all? that's just how patriarchy sets men up. period. regardless of race. that's what toxic masculinity refers to, it refers to masculinity without humanity. hence it has become toxic.

As a child of African immigrants in the US, this is definitely true. But please don’t forget that having a history of having been colonized and bearing the social remenants of that is not a trip in the park. These experiences are not to be equated, but both come with generational trauma. There’s a certain kind of self hatred that is developed in families that don’t work hard to wake up from it, and it is passed down by the way parents raise their children, too. And the way we view ourselves. It’s not the same, but I would not say it is better in African immigrants’ households.

^ this. To be honest, I don’t really like African immigrants, or most immigrants generally. And not in the “they’re aliens and not American and will destroy our way life!!!” sort of way, but in the exact opposite. For me, the problem is that they’re too American…specifically the type that believes unquestioningly in the promises and lies of the American dream. That’s how you end up with the rug pullers - immigrants who are overly concerned with keeping the “bad ones” out. The very same ones that look down on peoples that are marginalized domestically, even if they’re ultimately in the same or similar positions. To be clear, I’m not saying immigrants or immigration are bad. To the contrary, I think open borders would reduce a great deal of the selection bias at play. It’s something that evens out over time anyway. I just think we ought to challenge this assumption that just because leftists and democrats generally are more friendly towards immigration, means that they are or should be automatically sympathetic towards our causes.

Tariq Nasheed posting

BIG FACTS

idk bruh. I got African friends and their home lives aren't the best either. Many West Africans were forced to bottle up their emotions unless they wanna risk getting they ass beat for talking out of turn, their dad's aren't emotionally available, their moms are very single-minded and their parents want to live through their own children's lives and won't let them pursue their own dreams cuz they was told no by their own parents. I've done enough research to know everyone in the African diaspora suffers some heavy generational trauma. What I want y’all to know is that y’all focus on too much of the difference to realize how much similarities black people across the globe all share

I’m sorry for your loss.May your brothers’ memories live on.

I'm so sorry for your loss, may they rest in peace and power.

Ayo I am so sorry… lol it’s just like a damn old head to show you something that’s supposed to prove them right that actually proves them so so wrong 🤦🏽‍♂️

That's why these boys turn into adults they are using their trauma against them parents (especially the mothers) in many ways, till this day and it's funny. I say gen Z will break the curse. 😂😂😂

Well, I like that he's not taking the excuses route. So, what if white people are sh*tty? You gone do something?🤷🏽

So, can we stop with the we originally ruled earth argument finally? It's not like we winning MVP for patriarchy😂