I love how pro-men your content is without being anti-woman! You talk & I hear someone who really gets it!!

I recently went on a marathon of your videos. All I can say is thank you bro.

I love the fact that you provide a nontoxic male perspective on black cultural and social matters. I watch a lot of black female video essays so this is an interesting change of pace.

As a consumer of a lot of black feminist media. This was so insightful and well composed, Enjoyed listening to black men's perspectives without the anti feminism rhetoric. I love how you address that patriarchy negatively affects men as well.

So, I actually came here in a somewhat desperate attempt to understand my boyfriend. He's a great guy but seems to be incapable of opening up and being vulnerable with me. So, in an effort to meet him where he's at, I went searching to see what black men are feeling and thinking about. Obviously you guys aren't a monolith, so I know this one video won't cover everything, but it definitely gave me some insight. I have a lot of things to think about and hopefully this will help me be a better partner to him. Strangely, this helps me understand what I'm looking for in a partner as an educated black woman, also. So regardless of how this relationship turns out, I do feel like I've gotten quite a bit of clarity. Thank you for such approachable, digestible, and honest media.

Tbh even though im gay myself i think its really good that youre doing things focused for straight men, theres not enough people out there giving good guidance to straight men and they end up in those redpill channels. Good luck with growing the channel, these vids are what people need

That Chris Rock clip is so interesting about "what does she look like" vs "what does he do"? I'm a man and I remember when my younger sister first told me of her engagement the first question I asked her was "what does he do"? Not if he loved her and treated her well. Very interesting because it lets me know that we all (regardless of gender) participate in certain harmful ways of judging what makes a good companion for a man or a woman in a relationship. And that CR clip helped me realize my own conditioning.

As a black dude who struggles with driving anxiety (in a state where a car is basically required), I have found that the world is very unkind toward me, especially the dating world. I've worked and worked to overcome my driving fears. I've heard every platitude in the book. I am likely going to have to move to a city with useful public transport. I'd love to feel confident as a guy, but deep down it feels emasculating not having the ability to drive. It shouldn't feel this way, and I know that loads of people are like me...but it is still isolating from a masculine perspective. (Me venting. Please don't try to give me 'driving tips.' That would just prove my point)

This reminds me of a post I recently read on tumblr, about men not being treated with tenderness, or non sexual intimacy that women are used to. On that post were women talking about who they did something tender and intimate like washing their significant other hair or pulling a full romantic experiance of food, bath, massage, and their partners didn't know how to handle it. Some became really uncomfortable, shy and a couple cried because they weren't used to that kind of love and affection. Men are more then societies expactations of them. Men are not tools, they are people with feelings, thoughts, ambitions and dreams.

I feel like a lot of parents don't talk to children about relationships, expectations, and responsibilities in them.

Not really on the specific topic but I really appreciate your content coming from an older person (context: I'm almost 22) bc I often feel like there's a big gap in youtube commentary where a lot of creators are under 30 (and definitely under 40). I think commentary as a whole and us younger viewers benefit a lot from hearing from more mature people tempered by life experience (something younger creators can't replicate no matter how much reading they do).

I once was so happy with a lover, I told her, "maybe I'll grow my hair. Dread, you know. Maybe it would be a cool look I've seen a few times.... and..." Her Response: "UH UH NO HELL NO, I AM THE WOMAN AROUND HERE!" (And a lot more, and she was actually serious.) Hey, she's okay, I'm alright. We both found people that worked for us.

I'm gonna pretend the one dislike was an accident. Honestly, I've been binging your videos, and it's incredible. Keep blessing us with the content.

I met my boyfriend at my mailbox at our college student apartment. We been together for 3 years now. After having terrible experiences with my ex’s, my current boyfriend is amazing. He has taught me alot and I’m so glad I met him. I noticed that black couples aren’t portrayed in a positive light on screen. They usually portray black couples arguing and fighting. I wish there was more of a positive portrayal overall on screen.

What hit a nerve for me: How I engage with male vulnerability. I remember seeing an ex-boyfriend cry and feeling SO uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to see him that way & or what I should say. A lot to think about here. Thank you.

As a black woman who was recently broken up with, this video really helps me see where we both went wrong, where we both don't always exude hegemonic ideals of each other (but feel pressured to due so from trauma), and how we are irritating one another and anxious of each other and ourselves. I miss him...

This is so productive towards having honest conversations and vulnerability about black men experience with love. These type of conversations is needed for black unity...truly grateful for this.

My offering on the altar of the KZfaq Algorithm. So glad Khadija put me on

I'm a white dude, my wife is black. My parents divorced when I was a baby and I grew up with an alcoholic step dad who eventually killed himself (see you in hell ashoe) so i never grew up knowing what a strong relationship between a man and woman looked like. My wife did and would try to explain it to me, but I had to kind of learn it along the way. My MiL passed away last year and it nearly destroyed my FiL. This is a man who I respect more than probably any other in my life. And I'm not ashamed to admit he intimidated me a bit when we first met. Anyway, nothing more masculine than giving your heart and life to the woman you love.

I know the target audience is black men, but only as a man (in Latin America) this video was able to make me cry and rethink all my attitudes towards relationships, and turning 18 next month having grown up without a father I feel like I need to hear about this more than ever, thank you so much!

I am so grateful to be able to be a part of this video Shafeeq I was super nervous.

this was dope! especially enjoyed you feeding in the perspectives and experiences of other men. pocketing the term "role competency," extra thank you for that one - but so much of how people talk about relationships is super transactional. and like you said, people, women specifically, shouldn't be dissuaded from having standards but that hyperfocus on checking the boxes often doesn't include emotional health or depth. Sylvie's Love is a great example of someone internalizing their role to the point of self-sabotage, even while in a relationship where breaking away from the expected role was supported -- kinda wish the film explored more of that. also y'all pointing out that Black men are only allowed to express lust or anger made me think of your video on Mike Tyson and again how we see multiple people willing to invest in really reductive ways of viewing Black men so long as it's beneficial. lots to think about. thank you for another great one Fiq!

Patriarchy hurts both men and women. But for Black men and women in the US, even more-so because of systematic racism we don’t have the access to traditional roles. BW/BM aren’t allowed outside the home to be traditionally feminine or masculine in the way WW/WM are. We start at a disadvantage.

"Trash people need love too". As a trash person, thank you for this very important representation.

Yes lawdddd been waiting on this

Being turned off by "emotional" men doesn't always equal thinking they are "soft"; sometimes, most of the time, it's thinking they are likely volatile.

As a black woman, I really appreciate your content because it serves as a guide post for what you might expect from a thoughtful, knowledgeable black man with a nuanced perspective. There’s such a gap for this type of content that gives an honest analytical perspective from men that doesn’t bake in degrading or dismissing women’s perspectives. And I’m so grateful to have found at least one place I can come for that.

This whole video hit me. I actively know these ideals aren't gonna make me happy but not fulfilling them makes me feel like I won't be worthy of love. It almost feels like being a provider is a bargaining tool, like eventually the facade of being "the man" is gonna crack and you need something to argue that it's still alright to love you.

My husband and I met online on one of the worst sites on the internet (I'm so ashamed lol). But we spent hours and hours talking on the phone before we were able to travel to each other. We're both in our early 20's. Talking on the phone is underrated.

Thank you - there is not enough of this for black folks to consume, specifically men.

As a Queer Afro-indigenous man who grew up in the streets of Philly. I can’t express enough how appreciative I am of your commentary. I feel like you are healing our world with this. I know you speak from a cis-Hetero perspective, but I hope this continues to resonates with everyone.

15 minutes in and this video is the emotional turmoil that is loving a man while knowing they're not being their full authentic selves. I foresee feeling a lot of things while watching this one. Is that $3.73 available to viewers too? I'll need comfort food money.

that bit about your wife made me smile so hard 💕”butterfly season “ I love that 🦋

Everybody repeat after me: "This one's for the algorithmmmmmmm"

First, so happy to see this channel exists. For years I've been asking where are the channels for men on YT?! As a woman I have plenty of thoughtful commentary from ppl who have a similar life outlook bt not so many for cishet American Black men, and oh is it needed. I would also be interested in the research about how BW have been able to excel financially and in scholarly areas and how being BW instead of BM may have played a role in that. I don't think I've come across anyone talking about that. Some of the rhetoric I hear in BW circles is very "boot straps," "I was able to do xyz, these BM should be able to as well!" Intersectionality is important in these conversations, plus the focus on finances shallows the worth of men in other areas besides provider. It's a huge topic with many avenues to tread. I just hope the Black community continues to talk to each other and work these things out for ourselves. It's so important. Thank you brother 🙏🏿

As a black man who's been divorced and now remarried I can say that this is so accurate and a discussion all people should have. But especially black men and women who want to grow and heal from the societal constraints and trauma's we all deal with.

Someone said they talked about patriarchy to a group of black men and called it “white male patriarchy” and many more understood it and were critical of it. I found that interesting and very helpful. I often wonder why men lead with money and goods first and get frustrated for being used for money and goods. It’s an awful cycle the patriarchy sets up and leads to failure every time. As a woman who literally desires an emotionally intelligent man first and foremost, it’s kind of a turn off/makes me incredibly sad for men when they seem lost when I express I don’t need them for money or goods. I’m sure if someone finds this comment, months later lol, they’ll pipe up and say I’m rare…I’m not rare. Many women feel this way and I’d argue a majority feel this way, however when presented with someone who shoves goods and money at you…sometimes it’s convincing enough to give that a go until you bore of the lack of connection :/ It’s awful for all parties but I feel particularly bad for men who set out to be loved and respected in that manner. Anyway, great video as per usual!

I am enjoying watching these videos. I do believe that all women are not confused by men showing emotion and vulnerability but instead trying to figure out what part of you is real. That is where the confusion comes from. Imagine if a man is always saying things or behaving as though they do not care about anything or want anything and have these notions but then when they do things it does not make it clear what matters. It can be very confusing and of course the man is not going to say I am being vulnerable right now so while I am fine with a vulnerable and honest man I am not able to quickly adapt to inconsistency that also comes through

Very intelligent conversation about black love. Such a welcome change from the toxic conversations where black men and women are disrespecting each other.

I respectfully differ in opinion about Love and Basketball. Q came to Monica expecting to be the priority in her life and she wasn't willing to sacrifice her aspirations for his need for emotional support. She should've more clearly communicated that she couldn't or wasn't willing to do that in the moment and that part was her fault. As I look back on this movie as an adult, I'm glad she chose herself in that moment. Q was used to having his needs met above everyone else's and reacted poorly when he was met with an unexpected response from Monica. His reaction proved that her sacrifice would've gone unappreciated anyway. I kind of dislike the fact that ultimately she was stereotypically portrayed as the woman who was professionally successful, but just needed a man to complete her. Movies do work this trope in both directions, but the way she attempted to get him back was embarrassing.

I'm so glad that Khajida Mbowe recommend this channel, you're so insightful and it's great to hear your perspective!

Thank you for sharing this necessary point of view. As a black woman, I’ve had to learn to balance my own set of issues and be cognizant to the issues of black men without being a doormat. Over the past couple of years, it’s become clear just how much the patriarchy and white supremacy plays into this all. I’m saddened by how deeply the black community has loathed ourselves and each other as a result of how we’ve been taught to see ourselves. May we all break free.

When that guy says his ex knew nothing about him and he felt disappointed I just started screaming NO YOU CAN FEEL SAD THAT'S OKAY and teared up this was so good I wish I could like it multiple times, thank you

This is a greatly insightful video. I loved listening to men's experiences with patriarchy. Something that stayed with me is the pressure men feel of being the provider. On the other side, a lot of women who depend on their partner's economical support, are left with nothing when they split up. In other cases, they end up with half of their things and men feel robbed by them, which feeds the stereotype that women seek out men of status to get access to their wealth without doing anything. It feels like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I'm glad that you're bringing attention to these topics because we don't talk enough about how the patriarchy affects men. Loving your channel, I'll continue to watch!

This was refreshing. I can't argue anything he said because I don't know all men, but I rarely experience wanting to be vulnerable. I once had a man reveal to me that he was assaulted when he was young. I immediately responded that it has happened to a lot of men bc I wanted him to feel safe & comfortable with me re the topic. The convo goes on & I begin to question some of his behaviors towards me & he went off about it being in the past and why am I trying to keep a black man in the past 🙃 and I'd explained that I can't move forward from a situation without understanding. I will continue to be a safe space for men who want to be vulnerable, but I really need more men to work at allowing women to be vulnerable as well.

Great video as always! I definitely believe BM should have the space to express all emotions in their relationships, family, friendships. So much violence and trauma could possibly be stopped by simply changing this. I do think In personal/intimate relationships there is a fine line. Regardless of gender or orientation, therapy HAS to become the norm for us all. A lot of us ( me included) finally have the space to express ourselves and then want our partners to become our therapists and bear the weight of all of our traumas and help us unpack it all, and this isn't fair to them. - gabby

I watched it and shared it with my wife and my sisters immediately. there is so much in here that I have tried to explain to them before. it's great to have someone that can break it all down so eloquently.

I'm half way through the video I'm pissed because I have to now watch this again to make sense of what I'm hearing. I am not self aware enough to just take it all in once and move on . Some of the questions brought up I've felt and experienced but never really analyzed them to have my own opinion on. Damn good content, has me thinking different.

This really hit home for me! I have thought this in relationships I have been in the past. The lack of emotional vulnerability in a lot black men has made it difficult for me to retain relationships. It's hard for me to want to be emotionally invested in someone I feel like I don't know. I definitely think that you are right that some women uphold this standard and it adversely affects black men. I have noticed that the same artifice that is detrimental is almost certainly manifests as swagger which is considered attractive. I hope this can inspire more people to be aware of and listen to their emotional and mental well-being and prioritizing them. I think it would do wonders in actually helping black men have healthier relationships and dismantling the patriarchal expectations. I also think if this occured it could help in improving the self image of men that don't see themselves as valuable if they are not rich.

My memories of my parents being romantic: my dad singing to my dad or the private conversation they had seating extremely close to each other in the formal living room. This was in Kinsasha, DRCongo, Africa. As far as I know, black men are romantic.

Im quoting 1:00:19 forever. Im literally working my ass off, afraid to even date, cause i know im not able to pay all bills and such right now, so i feel like my partner would probably be unhappy or just leave. When expressing that concern its ALWAYS "Seek help" or "that's your own insecurities". Well no shit. Thanks for reminding me.

The internet needs more content about healthy masculinity like this. Confused men are funnelled into some very toxic content nowadays, you're doing great work man.

It's wild how insightful this on some doubts of mine from other, more lived black men. Didn't realize how much I needed it till I heard it, thanks for the video.

Randomly stumbled upon your page. I love your perspective!!!

14:19 I've experienced this even with friends, it's all good till you open up... and you feel your value leave the room. You are the rock, but when that rock bleeds they don't know what to think of you.

This channel is gold. Definitely refreshing to see content like this as a young black male in his 20s, trying to figure out dating/love in this current modern hookup/cheating culture

As a bisexual man who has had long term manganous relationships with both genders. I over the years have noticed a few things. The hardest thing about dating black men is fatherlessness. I have never dated a black man who grew up with a father in there home. So they never inherited a realistic philosophy of masculinity so they are making it up as they go, they only have the basics to work with, provider and protector. Black women mostly had mothers at home , and mothers who were solely responsible for everything. So their reaction to a man not having competency in a specific role is to take over that role without asking permission. It never occured to them that the man an develop that competency, or even that he is just venting as part of his process. Black women are comfortable with power because unlike white, Asian or Latin women they are raised to expect having to wield . Which is hard Knox for men who are already making up manhood as they go.

I am young woman. I hear you and am so grateful that you articulated what a lot (if not all) black men go through. Thank you for opening my eyes to this!

As a young black man, finally 21, I felt seen and heard through out the whole video. Thank you for making this. The whole video hit it right on the nose.

It’s so important for us to remember that Black men are also loving and emotionally strong and capable human beings and not just objects for sexual gratification

It’s so incredibly refreshing hearing watching a video about black men in love outside of the red pill community. Clear, honest, vulnerable and insightful.

This video - and all of your other videos on the male experience - is really interesting to watch as a white man who's neither cis nor straight. My experiences of maleness have a lot of overlap with yours, but they're definitely not the same. I really appreciate you bringing light to perspectives on what it means to be a man that often go unaddressed and unnoticed. These things need to be talked about more, and you're doing great work!

As a white dude I feel this. I know it is not geared towards me but it is interesting to see where we all overlap.

Watching your videos makes me feel like I'm in a college classroom -- your work is compelling, thoughtful, deeply compassionate, and witty. Thank you for taking the time and care to add quality conversation and content to today's discourse.

I have been binging all of your videos, and as a woman who consumes loads of perspectives from black women on youtube, this was a delightful perspective, that actually came from a place of love and not fear. Thank you for the work you put into these videos, it is not unnoticed..

It’s great to see all the other voices you included in this video and how introspective and insightful many of their takes are. It gives me hope.

i’m only halfway in this video but seriously thank you.. i’ve been trying to understand my bf and why he has trouble expressing emotions. i used to downplay his worries as just toxic masculinity that he needs to get over. there is even more of a gap, not only understand the male perspective but the black perspective as a white woman. we’ve had conversations slowly chipping away to the core of this video, and you perfectly dissected everything i think he was really trying to say. really thank you so much

Your channel, thankfully appeared on my timeline yesterday. I watched several videos. They are insightful, thought provoking and honest. Thank you for the work you put into your essays. You're out here helping folks🤗

This is so insightful, and I'm very grateful for your honesty and willingness to share your thoughts with a wide audience. It has helped me to consider the posturing that some men do with more compassion.

You guys have put words to SOOOO many things that I have felt and am currently feeling about relationships throughout the course of my life. You are doing wonderful work man, thank you so much.

honestly thank you. i’ve been on a binge watching tour videos. i now see how i’ve been hard on black men w/o empathy. so thank you 🙏🏽

This brings into the concept of The hierarchy of needs' third tier which is belongingness and love because a lot of black men from what I can see have this insecurity of wanting intimacy and closeness among their community. However, this one need seems to always get skip in favor of Esteem needs or ignore to focus on lower needs because they are easy to comprehend and communicate among peers.

Hey, love your content and really appreciate the well-thought out and approachable takes you have. Even appreciate you lifting up the voices of other Black women creators. But I am halfway through this video, even listened to the edited take, and something just isn't sitting well with my spirit. People can feel how they want to feel but not all feelings are right or based in any kind of reality. And yes I will disagree with it if it's wrong. The pretty vs provider conversation is a direct reflection of the patriarchy, which I'm glad we can agree on. The difference is statistically, women don't take out their lack pretty privilege on men. But men will take out their lack of status on women wild abandon. Chris Rock can say whatever he wants, but it is factually and historically inaccurate that women are unconditionally loved. We are deemed "valuable," which is wildly different from being loved, if we are submissive, slim, and fertile. Society built itself around controlling women and making them feel inherently lesser to men and even other women if they don't fit the mold. So while I appreciate the edited take/clarification, the clip still frames "poor" Black men's difficulty with finding love as women's fault. When Fifty-sixty years ago women couldn't even have their own bank accounts. So their husband's financial prospects were far more important than their appearance. Considering the very real and ongoing gender pay gap, their financial prospects of men today are still more important than appearance. And I think that's why this particular take is rubbing me the wrong way. Something I think modern men, and yes modern Black men, don't understand is that women don't need a provider we need partners. And too many men today can't or won't be either. But because they've been socialized to see their strength as a byproduct of a woman's weakness, they feel denied social capital if women expect more than they're able to provide. Completely forgetting that your intimate partner has a massive impact on your life. So don't get me wrong, Black men should have the space to express their longings, frustrations , and vulnerabilities about dating (and everything else). But I would appreciate if for once, it was not framed as something women deny or keep from them or that it's our fault. I.e Because we're too picky, uppity whatever. Apologies for the wall of text, but needed to get this off my chest. If I'm not understanding you or something got lost in translation, happy to discuss.

As a woman who similarly lacks "pretty privilege" I think you really opened my eyes to the parallel with men and economic mobility. Thank you!

I am soooo happy you do these videos! Our people need to learn and become better and you are driving this in a positive way that we never get to see!! Please continue 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Thank you for allowing your channel to be a safe space for people from all walks of life. I truly appreciate how you articulate your perspective with each of these discussions. Please continue to these excellent videos

First channel I've turned on notifications for in a long time. Watched a majority of your content in the past 2 days and I'm hooked. You are one of the best video essayist on youtube and now one of my favorite black creators. Keep up the excellent content.

I never comment on KZfaq videos, but I have to make an exception here. Your analysis may be geared toward the black, straight, male, experience, but I have to say as a straight-passing queer, white man, many of your points resonated with me, and I had to stop the video a few times and digest what you had said because I really felt it. Thank you, man. I've never heard anyone put these concepts out there like this much less contextualize them in this way. I'm new to your channel but I'm already a huge fan.

Im a white brazilian woman dating a 2 years younger black dominican man, it's been nearly 3 months that we've been living together for the first time. Since we met long distance and talked for 10 months prior to this experience, I'm discovering now many things about him, specially the difficulty of showing vulnerability. I struggle a lot with trying to show him that for me love is sharing every responsability, insecurity, learning, happiness, but he is very closed to himself and will withhold every emotion possible. I saw him cry 3 times during this relationship: when he asked me to come back (we fought and took a time of 2 weeks in the beginning of november/2022), a month ago when he realized he would have to go back to his country to work and make more money (living in Brazil is STRUGGLE struggle love 😂) and not too long ago when I was crying worried about his problems and for not being able to help (him not opening up). This difficulty for being vulnerable speaks volumes to me in different ways, considering my intersectional characteristics like gender and race, but the thing that you said in 51:44 actually caught me off guard. When I ask why he loves me he says it's because he knows I'm good for him. I never fully understood but now reflecting on the role situation and the whole "kinda man I want to be", it makes a lot of sense. Now my motivation to show him I want to share everything with him is even stronger 😂 as a woman who had to grow up too fast because of problems in her parents' marriage, I can tell you: NO ONE survives having all the responsability of providing and sustaining alone, and no one should

This video hit DEEP! I’ve been really trying to understand how desirability politics affects my sense of self-worth and this was really enlightening. Especially after hearing how even if you do things “right” it still doesn’t stop the fear from being realized. Much to think about

As a slavic dude from Middle-Eastern Europe I wholeheartedly thank You for this vid! I do relate to many of these themes which are also strongly present within my culture. I'm so glad I found this channel! Cheers!

This is one of the best-articulated essays on the subject I have come across. Thank you so much!! Brb sending to everyone I know. 😊

Those final thoughts Lord 🥶 🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥 I literally feel so overwhelmed with joy to see this conversation and I pray more folks are exposed to your content because your are correct that the discourse online is troubling & nasty. It can get better though with a little compassion & understanding of self within the system- for all of us.

Thank you for having this conversation. I feel like the world is missing out on so much because men are socialized to pretend they don't have emotions.

It seems to me that a lot of division between BW and BM is driven/fueled by competition, revenge and a lack of self-awareness...at least that's what I have noticed in the content I have consumed from time to time. Add to that the need to produce content to make an "easy" buck then you've got motivation to keep it going. Lack of care for and displays of kindness towards each other and an unwillingness or inability to investigate further inhibits maturity and reduces the chance to heal and move forward. Not sure if this makes sense coz i suck at putting thoughts into coherent sentences.

This might be the best breakdown I have EVER watched…. This is incredible. Thank you for this. Seriously…. I needed this

As a black woman, I appreciate this vid so much! Very informative and insightful. We need to have more conversations like this. Thank you sir 🙌🏾👏🏾

Im so glad i found your channel. I really appreciate honest conversations about love. Its great to hear. I totally get what Jon says about not having had any real conversations about love. What you’re doing is great for people. I also feel like you’re a great role model for your children, they’ll grow up with someone who’s willing to talk with them about issues many of us didn’t have the opportunity to talk to our parents about. Thanks for what you do. Been listening to your videos while working the last couple days.

Videos like this are needed. I know bc when I saw the title and immediately got defensive based on all the other hetero black male content on the internet.

“Trash people need love too” he’s finally catering to my demographic!

Watching this was suuuuuch a breath of fresh air. My father is caucasian and my mother is African American so as a Black Man this is all too familiar to me and I didn't realize how much of a break down that this constant state of only being valued for what I provide and even for having lighter skin can really do to a man's soul. This was beautifully written, edited, and dived into. Idk about the rest of yall but... Subscriber for life.💯👑

This is such a great video. I love that you invited other men to speak on this topic. Hearing the different perspectives was very insightful.

I am so grateful to you for the hard work and thought you put into these videos and providing a fresh take in Black KZfaq that comes from a mindful place (god that’s refreshing af

Having 4 brothers and them all having different personalities, I totally see the same core issues you point out I believe they think about. It brought to mind how a few months ago my oldest brother reaction to me randomly calling him and saying “I love you” and how his voice and his attitude changed was something I never seen from him. It was random for me too as our family period we were taught to never show emotions (I was 32 and in therapy where I actually cried and that was me 1.5 years into therapy) but how it seemed to make him happy and it was no strings attached showed how possibly starved black men could be to just getting it, even though I am weary on who I give that too. Being married to an Asian guy in the past I saw the weight of what it to be a man across the board for POC men as well and what happens when they can’t follow that criteria but I also see how my help made him more upset and possibly unsafe or threaten by it and more verbally and psychologically abusive towards me because I was understanding. So this made so much sense in my experiences with black and POC men

Watched this start to finish no breaks. One of the best pieces of content I have ever consumed. This is more of the content we need!

Women also have to unpack our internalized patriarchy. In my relationship, watching my partner cry was hard to witness. That initial reaction of thinking less of him at that moment but over time, realizing that it wasn't a weakness. Starting to view him as a whole person vs. a man playing a role

As I get older, my thoughts on Monica and Quincy's relationship has changed. I would love to see a video on your break down of the movie.

As an Asian man, Richard's comment about the fear of showing vulnerability and then your partner will leave really stuck a chord with me. I have the same irrational fear too. What if I break and no one is there for me. It's fucked up.

This is probably the first hour long video Ive ever watched 3xs back to back on any platform. I felt this so deeply and can't wait to process this with a friend of mine. Algorithm got it right today! Thank you!