"Each stranger out there is actually just another friend that we haven't met yet".

For extroverts they tend to enjoy small talk by making themselves look impressive, but for introverts they abhor it, to them small talk is a sign of dishonesty.

The interest has to be genuine, if it's not silence is better.

Small talk has its place. If you break in with unorthodox questions people may get on their guard and you'll kill the conversation before its even had a chance. He's right to promote deeper conversation though. It's much more rewarding for everyone. After a couple of rounds of small talk is probably the best time to utilise his philosophy.

Its one thing to ignite and intellectual conversation, its another to sound like a federal agent

Omid : What makes you happy today? Taxi driver : Ten years ago today my wife got in my taxi, I took her and made her my wife. Omid : Wow! That's so special. Taxi driver : Yup, don't think anyone is still looking for her now so I'm safe. Omid : Have a wonderful anniversary.

i'm really interested to see what would've happened if he didn't get those cards with conversations starters at the event. my belief is that it would've been a whole different story. as a person that truly values this type of deep, meaningful conversations, i also think that, realistically, them happening is more a matter of coincidence. the best conversations i've had (from what i recall) just happened to happen with the right people, at the right place, time. he has a great point. i also despise the 'how's the weather' kinda talk. but thinking that every conversation has a high possibility of being meaningful depending on the effort that we put in sounds a little bit naive. it's not taking into account what the other person thinks at the degree it deserves. bottom line: from my experience, best conversations are not forced, they're natural and sometimes that comes from the annoying scripted who what where etc questions. perhaps i'm not getting the full picture, but that's what i believe.

“Predictable Superficiality” an intelligent insult.

I so dig this! Just my thoughts on the topic of conversing with other people. In my ears, silence is always more beautiful than "predictable superficial" small talk. But the deeper the conversation the more it spices up life:)

If a taxi man asked me how I would describe my mother I'd get out and get another taxi...

This is an amazing talk. Thank you for making me realise that it is perfectly fine to show your deep interest in another human being.

Imagine someone is having a bad day and they run into this guy and he asks them deeply personal questions. Small talk is there to make sure the conditions are right before deeper conversations.

I agree with this as I’m sure a lot of others do as well. My only question is, how do you engage in “authentic conversation” when in more lively social situations?

yessssss!!!! I totally agree!!! I find small talks lame, a waste of time, a drain of mental energy and totally unfulfilling

well said, "our motivations, our memories, our emotions"

Great talk Scheybani... 7 billion people in the world has 7 billion unique life experiences to understand.... Daily we meet some many people...We need to talk to starangers always with good intentions.

I have been in china for three years and had the chance to meet people from different cultures. From my experience people hesitate to share their true thoughts and opinions unless they trust the other person.

sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own-populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness-an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk

what a beautiful speech! And very inspirational! A curious heart to know a stranger is all you need!

These ideas should be applied in real life .. I Just wonder why they're so undervalued?

I've never really been a fan of smalltalk, and you perfectly articulated why. Great talk.

great talk.. definitely a good question to ask "what made you happy today?" Will try it out tomorrow at work

Thank you Omid... you validated what so many of us are awakening to today and that is the connection to others. Very much enjoyed.... we could talk for hours.

Simple and short talk but so inspiring, beautiful and profound

This is a very critical and great to skill to have! more often than not small talk doesn't create the strong connection between two people (whether it's networking or relationships) It's more about the deep profound conversations where you get to unravel one's true self! Omid I appreciate the wisdom given in this speech, it has me trying to break out of small talk as often as I can!

Thank you so much for this talk. I've noticed for a long time that there are so many people I'd like to know more about and to connect with on a deeper level. I often had no idea how I could build up that connection or I was too scared to ask the right questions in the past. This video really encourages me to dive deep and overcome superficial conversations ;)

One of the best talks I´ve seen. I tried it and I learned two new, or no it was 3 persons. I didn't learned something about them but also about me. I will try this every time I met someone new or if I talk to completely strangers.

great job omid!

This is mindblowing. Thank you so much for the great lesson!

love this. It's so great

I have understood is we are around the wrong people, but the question is; where is these people, how can we find this amazing and genuine people!! I want to confess whoever Is reading this I am very frustrated and so to a point where I turn my acquaintances or “friends” away for some time, after so long I don’t know if you feel the same way but I feel lost and all this time I feel is me the issue and after this amazing speech I can assure it not me but the surroundings I have my let inside my life. 🙏 so thankful.

I really love this

really opened up my mind. cheers!!

so amazing and inspirational

this is a fantastic speech. thank you for this. ❤️❤️

Brilliant!

It is an excellent lecture.

This is beautiful and really true

Thank you so very much.

What a coincidence that two people so like minded, named the same and from Ontario support Omid's views!

Great ! I really like this presentation ,it makes you to think how do you talk and actually we tend to ask predictable questions ,which not interesting and simple,so thank you

The problem is that some people simply don't​ want to share that kind of information about themselves!

This is the Best Ted Talk i have ever came across. Now i have the confidence to initiate conversation with strangers. Thank You So Much OMID!

Beautifully expressed

One of the best Ted talks!

so great

Loved this

great talk. thanks Omid

I'd enjoy more of this

I totally relate to this talk. Although I used to talk a lot about myself, I've shifted towards focusing on other people and letting them tell their story. The key is to avoid making it an interrogation but more enabling them to talk about what they care about. You first need to build rapport and show that you genuinely want to learn more about their lives and then ask the questions they want you to ask. They are usually the most obvious. I saw a comment below that said that people don't like lots of questions. That's true. It's about giving them a voice, not the third degree. :)

this is exactly what i needed to know. Very inspiring!

Great talk!

This Ted-talk made me happy today

Inspiring talk.

Love it!

Very inspirational

I so agree with this and have been practicing in-depth conversation in my life :D

Man this was much needed Ted talk. In the last year i seemed to lose interest in people and i was always going for the same old questions, now i can see why i was getting board with people . Its really sad but i don't remember the last good conversation i had .

Introverts are shy to start a conversation, but once it is started they convert it into meaningful conversation

Woooow I like this one

Coooollll! Thanks for sharing!!! It's worth thinking of the things that can bring us together!

beautiful this is what we are made of

super enlightening😃

Thank you so much

thanks for ur great sharing omid

awesome.

Absolutely underrated!

sincerity will take you far in life.

Really wonderful speech!! This video definitely deserves more views!!! :-) great job Omid 👍

It is a nice speech. I agree with many things, which he said.

I wish more people would adopt this kind of view on conversation. I've also found that by throwing out a statement, often something funny, it seems to invite people to start relaxed conversations with me. This has always been a very effective way to meet women, by the way ;-) I think it makes people feel like I'm approachable and easy-going. It's one of the best ways I've found to start good conversations and avoid smalltalk. I usually don't open with direct questions to people because it has a tendency to make them feel like they're being interrogated, especially if I initiated the conversation.

Thank you for that talk. I agree with some of what you said and I can put aspects of your talk into practice. You have some good points and I will incorporate some of your ideas into my conversations. However I found small talk a good way to break the ice, thereby making it easier to proceed. Some people can't even small talk much less proceed to meaningful and memorable states as you suggested. So ideally I've found that one or two bits of small talk open the way for more insightful conversation. You're also right in that conversation can leave a good feeling. Thank you. Win UK

this needs more views

Feeling enlightened 😄😄

Awesome

Thanks it's amazing video 🙂...

Brilliant

excellent

This is very helpful, give me ideas in making conversation with some expats friends.

Boom.. this has changed the direction of the conversation

Kish !!! didnt know there are TED talks taking place in Iran !!!

Small talk is necessary to get a rapport. It is not something that should be disliked. It must be incorporated with follow up questions to get a natural transition to deeper conversations. Do not be misguided that deep talk is all that matters.

What a great finish :-)

I'm so excited to try this! I would like to have more deep coversations with my parents, but I'm worried they will be upset with some of my beliefs 😟

Small talk is not a conversation. It is a lead-in into a conversation. A more meaningful conversation. Small talk is used for scanning common interests and to establish a tone and more importantly a rapport. Many are just bad at this, and clearly something that this speaker does not understand (no we don't talk about the weather to learn about the other person!). Plus, the idea that you can have a deep and meaningful conversation with everyone is just arrogant. Small talk is essential, especially when it comes to business with those from other cultures and languages. Learn how to do it well rather than just dismiss it.

This was amazing!

This video is useful, I actually use some of the thing I learn on her for my video.

Vielen dank Omid, Du hast sehr gut gemacht. Ya glaube ich das wir konnen das welt besser machen wann denken wir mehr uber die leute mit wem sprechen wir. Gut.

This is also known as selection bias, where people in this experiment were primed for deep meaningful conversation. My observation is that small talk is a litmus test of whether conversations starters can lead to more than acknowledgement, and then there is the issue of polite and eloquent conversation endings.

Very good

In Russia you can easily be asked of very unexpected things and unfamiliar person may describe all his or hers life in details.This is normal for many people in our country. But I didn't notice this makes people better or happier. Small talks can't be implaced in this way I believe.

Wooooowwwwww..........from now on.......let's talk

75% of our communication is non-verbal and only semi-conscious. Small talk is the blank page upon which we write our non-verbal communication. If that blank page irritates us, we will not be present, and we will not engage with each other, and small talk will indeed become a mechanical chore. If we accept the reason for small talk, we can use it to establish baseline trustworthiness and compatibility before venturing into more complex and socially risky conversation. The risk of censure, intense conflict, and social or emotional incompatibility is why we need small talk at first, in many social spaces. Sometimes, social space can be created in which the people we meet are more likely to be compatible with us, certainly, but this is not something we can rely on in the open world.

We Germans hate small talk. That brought us the stereotype to be rude. We are ok with that, we are rather be seen as rude than superficial. Rudeness (we call it honesty) brings you farther in life and makes better friendships.

I agree, that the smalltalks are not good. In this way you will never get to know a person in depth.

This talk was great. It's an amazingly simple way to look at things and appreciate more of what is around us

You learn through talking to others but there is also a danger of being candid about yourself. You can be robbed, taken advantage of if others know too much about you. I usually talk about experiences that are in the past and can't harm me now or topics that are not about me but informative. All conversations usually start out with small talk such as how are you doing.

I've heared all the small talk for thirty years from all types of strangers and always leads to nosyness to a point of interrogation, but not many people will really ask big questions that really matters..

I agree 100% with you how a stranger could be your friend . previoslly I've got a very deep & funny coversation with girls I forgot their names but not their warm words or stories . however , do you know when the "predictable soperficiality " most hurt ? when it comes from someone who used to be closer in the past than now & u have to contenue this poor conversation bcs of an ice wall that has builded for unreason excuse .

I live in the South of the US. I'm a transplant from the left coast. The culture here is all small talk- anything more seems to be a social no no. The south needs to have more influence from a different perspective. The South is what is keeping the US from advancing- any red state chart and numbers will show this. People need to move to the South to create the change.