Let me tell you something about friendship.
Cutting people out of your life is always challenging; breaking up with friends is like cutting away pieces of who you were.
I still remember the confusion when our landlord confronted my college flatmates and I, to claim that the rent had not been paid for the last few months. Our defensive protests began straight away.
Sorry boss, you f'ed up somewhere in your calculations..
I paid my share. Didn't you?
Of course, I did fam.
We claimed the landlord had made a mistake, when in fact we had made a mistake. An innocent error that only teenage naivety could make. We had trusted in the power of friendship.
My parents' words always haunt me when it comes to friendships. The same phases, I imagine myself one day echoing to my own children.
Those people are not your friends.
Be careful what you tell them.
You can't trust her.
They will not be your friends forever.
Typical adult rants that were, in reality, prophetic words, destined to manifest.
.As a teenager, I would wonder why my parents had so few friends. There was a consistent rotation of uncles coming to the house on special occasions - a permanent staple of aunties on the phone exchanging gossip - but it was always the same people. Wisdom warned me that loyalty is not something you should give to every bidder. Some people I used to call close friends have transformed into the occasional like and comment underneath a birthday Instagram post. Experience taught me that when it comes to friendships, quality always beats quantity.
Our landlord was right, and the rent had not been paid, because we had already implemented a system for rental payments, which was based on trust. We had all agreed that one friend would collect the money every month and pay the rent. Even, though only a few years older, we trusted him as a mentor and friend. When the realisation hit us that he had stolen our money, there was more pain at betrayal than anger. Friendships create openings for disappointment, jealousy and hurt. I have lost many friends over the years, and now I realise it's my fault. Some of the friends I gave too much of myself, and expected too little in return; others expected more than they deserved
It is hard cutting people off; it's slicing away moments and stripping memories. When you leave a friend behind, you leave some part of you. Yet, the cycle of life is undefeated, a caterpillar sheds its cocoon so it can fly. Sometimes you have to lighten your load, so you can swim against the tide.
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