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Can Transitioning Be A F*tish?

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ICKY

ICKY

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 815
@f0ren51c5candy
@f0ren51c5candy 7 ай бұрын
Hopeful to taking “New year new me” to a whole new level this year
@fish191
@fish191 7 ай бұрын
Same! Happy new year!
@f0ren51c5candy
@f0ren51c5candy 7 ай бұрын
@@fish191 good luck with that! happy new year!
@Miyahzilla
@Miyahzilla 7 ай бұрын
Me toooooo
@f0ren51c5candy
@f0ren51c5candy 7 ай бұрын
@@Miyahzilla Hope it goes well!!
@Miyahzilla
@Miyahzilla 7 ай бұрын
@@f0ren51c5candy thank youuuu!!
@winsurely7083
@winsurely7083 7 ай бұрын
Cis guy here, don't think I'm trans, but these videos are really helping me to understand the POV of trans people and I can't thank you enough for that. That said, thank ypu for all that you do to help people to understand themselves and others.
@shiv88806
@shiv88806 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for going out of your way to understand us trans people, your a very special person.💜
@joshgtm3266
@joshgtm3266 7 ай бұрын
I've been going on the same journey man. Honestly idk what the fear is of trans people, this doesn't seem like some kind of horror show it's quite nice seeing people discover themselves
@trans_Steph
@trans_Steph 7 ай бұрын
I wish we had more people like you who would watch not to down us or hate us but to learn and move forward. This isn't my channel obviously but still thanks for learning about us before making wrong conclusions.
@The4DRY4N
@The4DRY4N 7 ай бұрын
same here lol
@NearlyInfinity
@NearlyInfinity 7 ай бұрын
yeah same here, also is just entertaining content to watch lol
@Bromopar
@Bromopar 5 ай бұрын
So, I'm not trans, but for me, it wasn't quite so cut and dry because I always got excited about the idea of wearing women's clothes or costumes. Not "excited," just excited, like playing a video game excited and for a long time, that felt weird. So, one day I said: "Fuck it, I'm doing this. I have to know." and I crossplayed as Ivy Valentine and looked at myself in the mirror and thought: "Wow, she's hot... Oh shit, she's ME!" and I was blown away. I loved how I looked. Went to an anime convention, had a blast, almost knocked over my drink with my huge breast forms (funny story that) and went home and got back into my normal clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. I thought, wow, that's me again! I then realized what I really wanted and it was the transformation. Being able to see myself as both a man and a woman whenever I wanted was what really made me excited. So yeah. I'm not trans, I'm just a silly guy who dresses like a woman from time to time, but if I hadn't gone out and done it, I'm not sure I ever would have known that. And I'm super, super happy I did.
@TheEpicPancake
@TheEpicPancake 2 ай бұрын
Cosplaying Ivy of all people is an unbelievable first step into cross-gender cosplay, lmfao. Respectable choice, though.
@Bromopar
@Bromopar 2 ай бұрын
@@TheEpicPancake It was quite a challenge finding an outfit I could pull off, but it was worth it.
@CHXFIT95
@CHXFIT95 2 ай бұрын
Same, I’m just a cis man who’s fem and fluid. Easily mistaken for trans.
@an_annoying_cat
@an_annoying_cat 2 ай бұрын
@@The_Rat12​​⁠​⁠​⁠​​⁠​⁠even if thats what it sounds like i wouldnt jump to lumping people into categories, after all someone's identity is up to them
@Novette
@Novette Ай бұрын
​@@CHXFIT95 I mean, genderfluid is a trans identity
@Gyusuke
@Gyusuke 7 ай бұрын
"Can I accept this, cuz this is gonna be hard." As someone in the middle of questioning my gender identity, this struck a nerve lol so goddamn real
@BeeGameDev
@BeeGameDev 7 ай бұрын
Big same
@KnicKnac
@KnicKnac 7 ай бұрын
Definitely questioning here. Nerve wasn't struck personally but I'm still curious to explore myself and where I fit.
@Wermfare
@Wermfare 7 ай бұрын
Real
@impishlyit9780
@impishlyit9780 6 ай бұрын
Mmm, that was literally my first thought when I started questioning. One of my friends came out as trans and I pretty quickly started going "Hm, maybe I am too" which quickly turned into "That would be *tough* though, do I feel ready for that?"
@mashpotatosauce3566
@mashpotatosauce3566 9 күн бұрын
Im so scared, what if Im making it up? What if I dont wanna be a girl? What if I miss out on being a husband/father? But at the same time I love the idea of being girly and wearing makeup, fem clothes, and I hate seeing a man in the mirror :( I wish it were an easier question to answer
@JD3Gamer
@JD3Gamer 7 ай бұрын
This is especially true for transbians like me. I figured out I was trans via my attraction to women. I had to realize that I like women both because I am attracted to them and also I have gender envy towards them. It’s difficult to put into words.
@australopithecus_lucis
@australopithecus_lucis 7 ай бұрын
Before realising I was trans, I felt attracted to women for the very same reason. I would describe myself as bi now, with a preference for men, but I understand what you mean 100%
@RIFADOR001
@RIFADOR001 7 ай бұрын
that is very confusing... The issue of "I don't even know if it is this or that", and it is both... I think that is my case. But I'm looking for a job to get money to pay my process (and live in a better place...)
@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos
@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos 7 ай бұрын
See, being fem-attracted _delayed_ my "aha!" moment. Like, presenting masc helped meet romantic goals so it wasn't oppressively dysphoric, and I couldn't separate "want be with" from "want be".
@mountainplatypus8754
@mountainplatypus8754 7 ай бұрын
i currently identify as genderfluid, but i had this exact same experience when i was first exploring my transition. it was so confusing to me whether i just wanted to emulate that same feeling of attraction that i felt towards women, or whether i wanted to actually be one. turns out it was both lmao
@mrelba9176
@mrelba9176 7 ай бұрын
There is no such thing as a trans woman lesbian. You rarely date people of the opposite sex. You're gay. Homosexual males. Literally nothing more than that. Own it.
@pr3tenti0us
@pr3tenti0us 7 ай бұрын
I think another aspect to consider is sex is a very gendered activity and can feel very validating bc of that
@junoestro
@junoestro 7 ай бұрын
REAL REAL REAL
@ArbitraryCodeExecution
@ArbitraryCodeExecution 7 ай бұрын
yeah but what if im ace
@The_Jovian
@The_Jovian 7 ай бұрын
​@@ArbitraryCodeExecutionthen don't have sex if you don't want to
@user-ip8jn5np7y
@user-ip8jn5np7y 7 ай бұрын
​@@ArbitraryCodeExecutionwhat's ace?
@tylerbeaumont
@tylerbeaumont 7 ай бұрын
@@The_Jovianthe absence of sex can be a form of sexual validation
@Pranshumon
@Pranshumon 7 ай бұрын
When I first discovered I could be trans, my libido was at a all time low. I didn't wanted to do anything sexual in nature. But I wanted to wear my new dress everyday after work, and I had the biggest smile I had in months or years. So that was a solid evidence for me that whatever happiness I was feeling was not sexual, and I was happy being a woman.
@adonispiper463
@adonispiper463 7 ай бұрын
What?@@SmartCreeper
@dq8431
@dq8431 7 ай бұрын
@@SmartCreeperwearing a dress is sexist?
@thunfisch4938
@thunfisch4938 7 ай бұрын
I think most people would say that dresses are feminine. It's a stereotype for sure.
@ugaboj
@ugaboj 7 ай бұрын
@@SmartCreeper Stop being a wokescold
@Celeste__ch.
@Celeste__ch. 7 ай бұрын
Yeah, i just hit the bit where ive went ace bc of the body i was born with being straight up wrong.
@piperplaysuke1597
@piperplaysuke1597 7 ай бұрын
Miss girl, you are literally the godmother of trans people, especially here in Birmingham. Both you and Finn are amazing, and I know he isn't trans, but you two are a freaking amazing couple and always fill my heart with serotonin (yes I know that's in the brain but shush) I hope your guys' 2024 is amazing, sending love from another part of Brum lmao
@RichardB_Uk
@RichardB_Uk 7 ай бұрын
Brummies together strong
@ShoshanaBennett0
@ShoshanaBennett0 7 ай бұрын
Not a Brummie but instead a Manc, she is definitely a godmother to us Mancunians too! ❤
@poke9141
@poke9141 7 ай бұрын
Heyy fellow trans person from b’ham!
@benjaminluke9903
@benjaminluke9903 7 ай бұрын
Just fyi, the heart is highly neurological and cardiac cells do produce and get affected by serotonin. 💁🏼‍♀️
@piperplaysuke1597
@piperplaysuke1597 7 ай бұрын
@@ShoshanaBennett0 Hi from Birmingham! I went to Manchester once before and I miss it honestly ❤
@PartikleVT
@PartikleVT 7 ай бұрын
Whenever I come up with a new self doubt, icky is there to roundhouse kick it into another dimension
@SunIsLost
@SunIsLost 5 ай бұрын
Yea true
@jesustejeda4908
@jesustejeda4908 7 ай бұрын
This is encapsulated by that time I went to college in a neutral girl outfit and when I came home, I sat down and looked at myself and said out loud, "Yeah this situation just got so much more difficult."
@trans_Steph
@trans_Steph 7 ай бұрын
We're here for you...
@winsurely7083
@winsurely7083 6 ай бұрын
here's to making it less difficult!
@SwedishKuriboh
@SwedishKuriboh 7 ай бұрын
5:57 "I'm very happy, even when I'm not happy" That one REALLY resonated with me! I've been on HRT for just under a year and a half, and it's honestly been just the biggest life changer for me! Before, a mental dip for me could take weeks or even a month to properly get over. Nowadays? It's usually over in a few hours... and even during said dip, I'm still feeling better than when I was at my best pre-HRT!
@DrWarbird
@DrWarbird 7 ай бұрын
You are so lucky. In my mid 50s and always considered myself to be what I called a male lesbian. A girl trapped in a man's body. Transitioning wasn't a real option in the 70/80s. My brain is actually wired differently than normal men. Brain scans showed my pituitary caused me to basically not develop bone density and normal testosterone traits people associate with masculinity. People on the phone often confuse me for a girl. In my one decade long relationship I was basically happiest when she'd treat me as a girl. Even when it wasn't sexual. But that's over so now I'm alone and sad. You and Finn bring some happiness into my life. I definitely live vicariously through you two. I hope things stay great for both of you.
@thecabbageman1
@thecabbageman1 7 ай бұрын
I'm just gonna say it's never too late. You can always take steps to become your true self even now.
@NikaHollywood
@NikaHollywood 7 ай бұрын
@@Se_Nyx Another later in life translesbian here. I felt and said similar things (male lesbian) when I was younger. Not because I fetishized myself in a female body having sex, but because I had dysphoria AND I was attracted to women, separately. You have to understand that back then, with no internet, most people just though Blanchard's BS was correct (you were either so gay you wanted to transition to fuck straight dudes: Transexual, or you had a fetish: Transvestite. Both came down to sex and had nothing to do with dysphoria) and since I didn't fit into either of those categories I just thought I was an alien... or a male lesbian.
@prodbyfaith
@prodbyfaith 7 ай бұрын
​@@Se_Nyx Autogynephilia is fake simply because if it was real most cis women would be autogynephilic.
@SpidermanFan92
@SpidermanFan92 7 ай бұрын
When I started puberty I would get cramps in my pelvic floor, sometimes debilitating. I got them regularly to different degrees my entire puberty, I thought they were growing pains. Funny thing about those regular cramps, mood swings and a low fever are signs of a monthly cycle. It's rare but not unheard of for men to get a period.
@jamiecameron4564
@jamiecameron4564 7 ай бұрын
That's fascinating about the brain scans
@ericaotoko9550
@ericaotoko9550 6 ай бұрын
"I think the hardest thing about transitioning is not "am I actually trans", it's "can I accept this, because this is going to be hard". This is like 90% what kept me from transitioning until my 30s, even though I knew when I was 7. Being constantly reminded whenever I would try to break out of my shell "This isn't who you're expected to be... This isn't who you should want to be.", and even feeling like "You're going to embarass the people around you, and even hurt your family if you do this". The weight of expectation is crushing. To an extent where, I even found it easier to accept myself as a heroin addict than a trans woman. It was the realization that I was always going to resent myself for the rest if I didn't do this... The one thing I've ever genuinely wanted above anything else. Denying myself made it impossible for me to commit to any other goals.
@srinikhavijay43
@srinikhavijay43 7 ай бұрын
Hey, this kinda helped me with my impostor syndrome. Thank you for being you.
@666Tomato666
@666Tomato666 3 ай бұрын
oh, the impostor syndrome, that's the name for the feeling when I run out of steam and the gender euphoria goes away!
@Snakeplisskin440
@Snakeplisskin440 7 ай бұрын
"It's because people are...dumb." xD Thanks for the insight, Icky. Growing up I just kept thinking it was a kink or a fetish or something, which it may have been a little but as I got older and cared less about sexual things and just being happy and content and living life, I realized like, Okay, I like presenting fem, talking about makeup with other girls, discussing fashion and other things and being fem in general (gestures, voice, etc). I present as female in some of my discord groups, and kind of settled on a name and when we get on call it feels just natural and right and I can be me.
@QALibrary
@QALibrary 7 ай бұрын
I think Icky is the best fairy godmother ever - trans or not - she would make a great agony aunt or even as a real therapist
@crush3095
@crush3095 7 ай бұрын
there is excited and there is removing your metal shackles and the shame you were raised in the latter is such a deep liberation and act of self love is happiness a fetish, it is not, it is a human right
@druurae
@druurae 3 ай бұрын
Thiiiis
@O-pm8bb
@O-pm8bb 7 ай бұрын
"it's not whether I'm trans it's wether I want to accept it because it's gonna be hard" literally!! I realized with the time that it's not that I'm not sure wether I'm trans or not but I am just scared of how the world is going to treat me when I transition. A lot of the time when I have doubts about transition I ask myself: how would I feel about transitioning if I knew nobody was going to treat me bad because of it... And suddenly I get full clarity, I'd transition in a heartbeat. A lot of the shame, doubts..etc we have have more to do with how society treats trans people than our actual feelings.
@SourSourSour
@SourSourSour 7 ай бұрын
I've been at the "can accept this is gonna be hard" stage for like 8 months, but I feel like I'm getting to that tipping point. Taking longer than I'd like to get over this and act, but anxiety and risk aversion makes me want to be totally confident w/ the choice. This vid has helped me thank you, hoping it'll be a great year
@piperplaysuke1597
@piperplaysuke1597 7 ай бұрын
You're gonna get through that soon hopefully, do you have a good support group of friends and/or family who know and will support you? That's what's been keeping me afloat personally. Hoping 2024 is the year you get that confidence and that your anxiety lessens :)
@SourSourSour
@SourSourSour 7 ай бұрын
​@@piperplaysuke1597 I've told a couple friends I'm like, 99% there and they've been supportive, but I haven't done much more than that. I'm very to myself and vulnerability/doubt/trust is a big challenge. So I'll likely need to be in it a bit more before I feel cozy branching out to friends and family more. My worst anxiety right now is telling everyone, going through the motions, then realizing "Oops this actually isn't for me" and have it be something people judge me for. Like I've gotta get over this dumb feeling of security being "default" gives me. I know at the very least I've got a group of peeps that'll have my back s it helps.
@JackieVargo
@JackieVargo 7 ай бұрын
Hey I'm a white trans woman living in the States! Your situation sounds a lot like mine! I struggle a lot with self doubt especially when I was just coming out. I know it's kinda cliché but if you have doubts you are probably trans because most people just don't think about their gender that much. But I think in hindsight if I were to answer these questions honestly it would have helped me. Are you miserable as a cis person despite being viewed as the default? Do you enjoy when people refer to you as the gender you are considering choosing?
@piperplaysuke1597
@piperplaysuke1597 7 ай бұрын
@@SourSourSour I can completely understand that, and I have that anxiety too. I boymode a lot for security reasons, and I wish I didn't have to stress about pretending to be something I'm really not. I shouldn't care what people think about me, and you shouldn't care about what people think about you. Especially randoms who you'll probably only ever see once and then forget about. But family and friends is a completely different matter entirely. As long as you have a group of friends, doesn't matter how big, who will support you and help you through things that you might need support in, that's a lot better than figuring things out on your own. It's always better to get other perspectives of things from other people, even if they aren't in the same boat as you are. Just remember that a small handful of great friends is a lot better than a lot of fake ones :)
@user-hy6cp6xp9f
@user-hy6cp6xp9f 7 ай бұрын
I’ve been here for 2 years. Tbh - though I feel more at peace now, I lowkey regret waiting. If you’re safe take the leap
@seriphan399
@seriphan399 7 ай бұрын
I have worried about whether my desire to transition was possibly just a fetish in the past so I appreciate you addressing this. Imagining myself as a woman doesn't turn me on in the slightest, maybe it was a bit of a fetish when I was younger, hornier, and much more repressed when it came to these feelings, but now I just want to be a woman so I can be finally feel happy and comfortable in my own body, but after 23 years of being a depressed, self-hating mess, I feel like there's no point in even trying to transition anymore. Like I want to, but I'm terrified of the idea of not being able to pass or even being able to view myself as anything but what I've spent my whole life being and hating.
@GayIRL
@GayIRL 7 ай бұрын
I've been in that exact place. I think you should try to find a therapist and maybe one the specifically lists gender issues on their specialties to help you get over what may be internalized negative feelings towards yourself. Or even just find someone to talk to about it. Find more validation within yourself and find people who will validate you no matter what you look like. It will feel better to be your authentic self, but first you have to find support, accept that it is a process, and take the leap of faith. The thing that helped me most was that de-transitioning is still an option even though you're unlikely to want to once you work out your feelings.
@rhx34
@rhx34 7 ай бұрын
you know, it feels very.. like.. sitting down with a close friend to talk, when i watch your videos. thanks for that
@justins3136
@justins3136 7 ай бұрын
I kinda really relate to this as a femboy, originally CD was really exciting in that way but now it's kinda just a thing that makes me really happy and happens to come up during adult fun times.
@jacobwheeler6136
@jacobwheeler6136 7 ай бұрын
Cis dude here.. this was put real well.. I played with my gender like 20 years ago and learned it was more of a "this feels good" and some fetish stuff... it taught me that I'm not trans and it's OK to enjoy yourself as long as you aren't harming others.. keep up the good work with your videos 👍
@tachyon776
@tachyon776 6 ай бұрын
Everything. Everything can be a fetish. Absolutely everything can be a fetish.
@amysparks17
@amysparks17 7 ай бұрын
ICKY, this is perfect. I have been on Spiro for 6 weeks and start Estro patches today. “Is this a fetish” has definitely come up for me a few times. But like you said, I’m happy dressing fem while I’m just at home cleaning or playing board games with my kids. Definitely not for any kind of excitement in those moments.
@jasonwismer2670
@jasonwismer2670 7 ай бұрын
The feelings it evokes are like having a pleasant woman nearby. That's the romantic aspect of it. But yes, its driven by sex. Not in the 'porn' sense, but in getting all the pleasant feelings you would have by just having an attractive woman around in your life in the room with you as your long term girlfriend.
@CyberSurvivor44
@CyberSurvivor44 7 ай бұрын
@@jasonwismer2670all right, this might have convinced me to go to a thrift store and get some cheap fem clothes to wear home alone because I've longed for the feeling you've described and it's had me impulsively try (and usually fail) and get involved with people that would not be a good fit for me just to stop feeling empty, and I never understood why, no matter what I did, I couldn't "love myself first," and everyone kept telling me to go to the gym and lift weights, get "swole", etc. but that never ever has been something I enjoyed but felt like it was something I *had* to do. Even just being around girls as friends would partially fill that gap. Maybe it's because when I was very young I was friends with a lot of the girls at school and that just makes me feel comfortable now. Just wondering if anyone else relates to this.
@vesperschake6241
@vesperschake6241 7 ай бұрын
For a long time I just thought I had a kink, but now I've come to realize it was really the only area I allow my trans identity to express. A lot of the girls I've talked to have had similar experiences, into the same types of kink and losing interest in them after transitioning
@mrelba9176
@mrelba9176 7 ай бұрын
Nope. You just like wearing dresses and acting like the girlfriends you're too socially awkward to actually pull on your own. So many introverted nerds transition because they can't get girlfriends. It's absolutely a fetish with 90% of trans women (no you're not women, you're not the same in any way shape or form. I have never met a trans person that acts remotely like any woman I know. You just act like gay men. Literally just like gay men).
@KentDozier
@KentDozier 6 ай бұрын
Yeah same for me. The kink went away after like 2 days of normalizing wearing skirts and dresses.
@DrJaneLuciferian
@DrJaneLuciferian 7 ай бұрын
A day will come when being trans, and transitioning in society, without bigotry, will be the norm. I know it sucks now, but love will win out. Very well said, Ashley :^)
@DrJaneLuciferian
@DrJaneLuciferian 7 ай бұрын
@ville__ You literally make no sense.
@livvy94
@livvy94 7 ай бұрын
@ville__ Your channel has no videos what are you talking about lmao
@angel__king
@angel__king 7 ай бұрын
Off topic but your wallpaper being pics of you and Finn is legitimately so adorable
@MrJamesl83
@MrJamesl83 7 ай бұрын
I am not sure if this was a big barnum statment, but i am still pre, and i get what you meant. Sexualising transitioning is weird at first till you put yourself in a mondaine setting, shoppung etc. It was when i started letting me be me more in public, then i realised that me being "excited" was euphoria rather then anything else.
@anaiaheleanor
@anaiaheleanor 7 ай бұрын
I struggled a little bit with this. The thing that helped me resolve it in my own head was that going on HRT pretty dramatically affected libido. Many months in, when the thought came back up, it finally dawned on me that I was still quite trans. So... if Ashley's thought experiment approach doesn't do the trick, the answer will most likely become clear with time on E. I feel like I could write a whole book on things T did to me that made me feel gross. Also, watch the Contrapoints on autogynephilia. Ultimately, her conclusion was the same but she talks about it at great length.
@GayIRL
@GayIRL 7 ай бұрын
I endorse this comment 👆
@pointhot
@pointhot 7 ай бұрын
Something I have noticed among trans conversations I see is people stating “I’ve been transitioning for a few months and I don’t feel dysphoria anymore, and this has lost the spark. Maybe it was just a fetish and I should stop” Ans I always thought this was strange, until I was 4 months in. I was thinking how I felt ok and even though I wasn’t passing, I wasn’t having crippling dysphoria anymore.. and maybe, this already very hard thing that was almost certainly going to get harder wasn’t necessarily needed. And that’s when it clicked, I was happy because I was transitioning and I just felt right. Blew my mind. Trust the process.
@GayIRL
@GayIRL 7 ай бұрын
So true. I am 4 months in and had that exact process of thoughts🙃I also am already almost done with laser on my face so I almost already forgot how horrible having facial hair and having to shave 3x a day felt. I am glad that I can read this and remind myself why we go through this pain, because what I was before was so much worse for me.
@evolveaerials
@evolveaerials 7 ай бұрын
Yes. This is a common trope of some medications too. We think we don’t need it anymore because we’re feeling better and then stop the xyz medication and feel like shit again.. same thing can happen w trans folks and transitioning I guess
@AliceB0
@AliceB0 7 ай бұрын
​@@GayIRL how are you almost done with laser after 4 months? I'm so jealous.
@GayIRL
@GayIRL 7 ай бұрын
@@AliceB0 well 4 months was referring to my HRT, but I started laser a few months before that
@AliceB0
@AliceB0 6 ай бұрын
@@GayIRL ah fair
@freedom_mayor
@freedom_mayor 5 ай бұрын
I spent years wondering "am I trans" like literally 6 years. The advice of my therapist didn't help which is usually visualization exercises. I think that's useful for some people. but I was never feminine. I never felt "uncomfortable" with my male body. I asked a lot of people, and i must have talked about it so persistently that several of my straight cis male friends were like "you should just do it." and that is what it took. I started HRT and I loved it. I realized later that I was always looking for the girl behind my eyes in the mirror, and it felt amazing to actually look in the mirror and just see her without any effort. obviously, not encouraging rash decisions, it was a question nagging me for years. I think what was stopping me was fear. The public can be cruel to early transitioners, but all my fears have actually been proven wrong. My parents and friends supported me, i found someone to love, and that's all that actually matters. yep I also think dysphoria is a feeling that didn't translate well for me. I thought it was an intense disgust with your body, which I never had in boymode. I realized I was actually very dissociated from my body. I used to wear womens clothes and tried to do drag, and I would always be upset that "I look like a man in a dress" and be uncomfortable about that, and for me that WAS my dysphoria. I thought all drag queens and crossdressers felt that way and it's actually not.
@graydhd8688
@graydhd8688 6 ай бұрын
I never really considered just imagining myself as a woman in a regular mundane situation, like your post office example. Lightbulb moment- It felt wonderful! I've been exploring my gender more and more and figuring out what feels appropriate, and currently I'm leaning towards gender fluid. I have felt deep shame for a long time at the fact I get, uh, highly excited wearing women's clothing, and there is very much a sexual element to it even if that's not everything. I felt I couldn't be trans or nb because I convinced myself it was purely fetish, and that that made it inherently a dark/bad/wrong thing to do/enjoy. I hope to at least find the courage to wear more casual feminine fits publicly in the future. (oh, I just shaved my chest for the first time ever and it's sooooo smooth and fun, after it being a passing thought to try pretty much since I had chest hair- and I'm a sasquatch so that started in middle school lol) Btw is the couple name Ficky or Ickster?
@leximage6918
@leximage6918 7 ай бұрын
yea this is good advise because one of the ways i knew it wasn't a f*tish for me was because s*x is fun and all but i just really wanna eat bread in a female body, thats it bread, love bread wanna eat bread and look like a girl while doing it. anyway love your vids and thanks for being so cool and amazing. and stay safe everyone
@fghsgh
@fghsgh 7 ай бұрын
Testosterone brain is so true. I wanted to be a girl long before puberty started, but once it did it suddenly became sexual. And then i thought it was a fetish and i would eventually get tired of it and regret transitioning. I _wanted_ it to not be "just a fetish" because then i could actually transition, but it wasn't until i learned about what getting the testosterone out of my system would do that i went "fuck im trans... oh no" Since then, I have learned quite a few things. One, HRT really does work. Two, even if it was a fetish, a fetish by definition is _necessary_ for you to experience sex (or arousal). Otherwise it's a kink. If the only way you can experience sex is by strongly dissociating and imagining yourself with different parts, and even then you often break down crying like i did, then who cares if it's a fetish. Even if getting bottom surgery will only affect the way you have sex and you keep presenting masc outside of that, you still deserve a healthy sex life. Three, kinks are often a way for the subconscious to explore these kinds of really personal things in a safe, non-taboo environment, and when you address those things properly the kink often goes away. This holds for all kinds of trauma too.
@EmeralBookwise
@EmeralBookwise 7 ай бұрын
My former GF used to struggle with this all the time. She was always so afraid and ashamed to express herself sexually for fear that she'd be accused of having a fetish and not really being trans.
@iristempy
@iristempy 7 ай бұрын
this was really great and helped me with impostor syndrome and knowing that it isn't a fetish
@gasolineandwine
@gasolineandwine 7 ай бұрын
Before I began transitioning with HRT, I questioned myself as to whether it was the right way to go, if this is what I truly wanted. I imagined myself hanging out in my friend's room, going to work, going to the bank or simply at my home, but as a woman, and it made me feel incredibly excited. The same excitement you feel right before you ride a really cool rollercoaster. That euphoria told me it was the right thing to do.
@jasonwismer2670
@jasonwismer2670 7 ай бұрын
That is indeed sexual and/or romantic excitement. Its been described as 'the butterflies in your chest' many straight people get when they're going to meet an attractive woman on a pleasant date.
@eclecticmouse
@eclecticmouse 7 ай бұрын
The main reason I think people get caught thinking this is because most people's first exposure to Trans Women is on certain websites~ We're a category; and so people grow up heavily associating us with s*x. This personally caused a lot of confusion for me when I was younger; so I really appreciate this video! And on the note of still feeling good when feeling sad; the best way I can explain this to people, at least for me, is that transitioning didn't solve all my problems, but it gave me ground to stand on to start working on them. Also tangential, but a little s*x ed wisdom that I feel many people don't know. You don't always get turned on when you want to have s*x or are attracted, our brains will cause stuff to happen and for you to feel things just being exposed to something that you associate with s*x, even if you aren't attracted.~
@cattack6381
@cattack6381 7 ай бұрын
This helped a lot w understanding things, thank you ❤
@Gingerposh12342
@Gingerposh12342 7 ай бұрын
Omg a video about trans people where I can go to the comments and not see a bunch of people being hateful towards trans people! Feels great to see.
@iwannadielol526
@iwannadielol526 7 ай бұрын
Its actually crazy! Even if i sort by new which is especially nice.
@shadamethyst1258
@shadamethyst1258 7 ай бұрын
I prefer the argument that transitioning being a fetish or not is irrelevant. Nobody is entitled to control other people's feelings, as long as nobody gets hurt. The only context where I can see people taking issue with this is around public funding, but if someone gets angry at the idea that a tiny fraction of their taxes goes towards dishonest people trying to benefit from the healthcare built for trans people, then oh boy are they oblivious to the many bigger issues that get funded by their taxes
@dontreadthisplease2416
@dontreadthisplease2416 7 ай бұрын
I would say most people that make the claim of it being a fetish probably see it as being very relevant when deciding whether or not trans people (and if we're being honest - women, it's almost always trans women accused of having a fetish) should be allowed to use the bathroom or locker room that aligns with their gender.
@simontillson482
@simontillson482 7 ай бұрын
@@dontreadthisplease2416So true. It’s not that mtf trans want to spy on girls or anything, it’s more that they want to feel safe - men’s bathrooms just become scary. Like the OP said, this is just one of the silly ways transphobic people try to push the agenda that it shouldn’t be allowed, or funded publicly. I’m not trans, but certainly don’t mind some of my taxes going to help people with any health issue, including gender dysphoria. To think otherwise is just discriminatory IMHO.
@craftyfirestorm
@craftyfirestorm 7 ай бұрын
Great video, the only thing I would add is there are cis CD fetishists out there. Not trying to erase the eggs or anything like that, just saying that if you only dress a certain way for sexual purposes, and feel no dysphoria with your gender, it can just be a fetish. Definitely still worth asking yourself those questions and exploring it though, you only stand to gain by understanding yourself.
@themikaylashow1987
@themikaylashow1987 5 ай бұрын
I'm 44 months on hormones and I still get the CDs after me or the dreaded DM from cis guys. I'm so much happier being my true self than living inside that shell
@HiltownJoe
@HiltownJoe 6 ай бұрын
Revolutionary thought. Even if it just was a fetish. If it makes you happy and you don't hurt someone else, live your life that way. Its ok. You don't have to have it figured out. Because it does not matter.
@KatoRud
@KatoRud 6 ай бұрын
Post nut clarity hitting after you can’t nut anymore
@wettapeheartbreak
@wettapeheartbreak 5 ай бұрын
I agree. Doesnt matter the reason, as long as it makes you happy.
@theyarethem247
@theyarethem247 7 ай бұрын
Every time I see one of you're videos I'm always thinking that's a great outfit lol
@ChristopherVanderzwart
@ChristopherVanderzwart 7 ай бұрын
The amount of times I've struggled with this is crazy. I definetly needed this, thank you Icky
@Itchy__
@Itchy__ 6 ай бұрын
I'm still a bit of an egg, but remembering the first time I secretly put on lipstick I can def confirm that the excitement and euphoria was all encompassing, so to speak.
@ScuffedPanduh
@ScuffedPanduh 7 ай бұрын
I’ve been in that place for… I don’t know, the last 2 ish years? I’ve been an out bisexual femboy but I’ve always felt intense waves of joy when people mistakenly call me “miss”, or “she” only for all of that to disappear as soon as they hear me speak. I want to believe the feelings are real and that I AM a woman beneath it all, but this late into my 20s I’m scared to take a leap and second guess myself 😭
@catherinebernard3282
@catherinebernard3282 2 ай бұрын
If you have a close friend or partner to talk to, talk to them about that and ask if they could address you differently, even if just privately.
@WeaponSmithy
@WeaponSmithy 7 ай бұрын
Happy new year Icky, can't wait for more videos!
@Rogers1977
@Rogers1977 7 ай бұрын
Ngl, I subscribed because I'm really starting to question my gender. These videos talking about trans-ness and transitioning are really... comforting? Especially this one. I've wrestled with this topic a lot lately, but I don't really have anyone to talk about it with, and it's comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.
@Nemesis_mf
@Nemesis_mf 6 ай бұрын
No one ever really talks much about the euphoria from dressing up and feeling feminine, its always just about the dysphoria. You talking about this helped me a lot because i personally dont have dysphoria and the geting ''excited'' part always confused me so much and made me question if its just a fetish. Hearing you had the same experience really helps understanding myself a bit more so i appreciate the ton out of this video
@user-jf3lo6ss2i
@user-jf3lo6ss2i 5 ай бұрын
Ray Blanchard's studies showed that the vast majority of trans women who participated were heterosexual AGP with a much smaller minority being homosexual. So how exactly does Icky help you understand that it's not a fetish?
@Nemesis_mf
@Nemesis_mf 5 ай бұрын
@@user-jf3lo6ss2i And what exactly has sexuality to do with gender?
@user-jf3lo6ss2i
@user-jf3lo6ss2i 5 ай бұрын
@@Nemesis_mf Exactly, why's the T in the LGB?
@DMGamer_PC
@DMGamer_PC 7 ай бұрын
Watching more and more of these videos (as well as a lot of F1nn5ter stuff, go figure x3) and trying to figure out why so much of this resonates with me, and some of it doesn't... A lot of what I'm feeling is a desire to be more feminine a lot of the time, even in ordinary situations, but still feeling like more masculine expressions and identity still fit me. And it feels like I want to fit into both categories or one of the other depending on the time or vibes, and I'm struggling to figure out where I fit in... But videos like this are genuinely helping a lot. I'm at the point where I'm fairly confident I'm not trans (I still feel comfortable identifying as a man, despite also feeling happy expressing myself in more feminine ways), but I am also starting to wonder where I stand when it comes to being non-binary or genderfluid. And these videos talking about what regular life is like with an identity or expression different from what you were assigned at birth is genuinely helpful for helping me make sense of all the noise in my head, even if not all of it directly applies
@wrexocane
@wrexocane 7 ай бұрын
I feel the exact same, and I've come to the conclusion that classifying my personal identity in a strict box (or flag) is just useless. I'll go with the flow, accept myself, and do whatever makes me feel happy :D
@GayIRL
@GayIRL 7 ай бұрын
Feminine men are valid and slay 🙏
@SunIsLost
@SunIsLost 5 ай бұрын
You sound very Genderfluid to me.
@TaBaR999
@TaBaR999 7 ай бұрын
You and f1nn are wonderful people ❤️. Love your content. You are doing a great job explaining. Keep it up 👍
@KateChon258
@KateChon258 7 ай бұрын
I completely forgot about having these thoughts pre-transition. Thank you for explaining it so well. My mindset at the time just became, I'm just gonna commit to transitioning for a while and see where those "fetishizing transitions" thoughts go. Well they disappeared and I lived happily ever after.
@AevrieCuruni
@AevrieCuruni 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. I had this thought myself, but you explain it very well. It is very exciting to think about yourself in your rightful body. And opening your mind up to new experiences and removing the crap that toxic masculinity puts into your head, you start realizing how amazing the possibilities are. It makes exploring yourself intimately so much more freeing and fun.
@druurae
@druurae Ай бұрын
thank you so much for being real and honest it’s wildly refreshing
@light1haven
@light1haven 7 ай бұрын
I dont blame you, honestly alot of early transition or eggs treat fully or mostly transitioned people as like saviors or teachers youre not alone in that
@dotmynx
@dotmynx 6 ай бұрын
youre my new favorite youtuber right now. im turning 18 in 2 weeks and will begin transitioning within the next few months (waiting for the next steps but ive talked to my doctor). you give me courage
@josephbearpaw
@josephbearpaw 7 ай бұрын
I loved how Ashley , glanced over at her Computer screen and lovely looked at her GirlBoyfriend F1nn'😁✌️
@Stile4aly
@Stile4aly 7 ай бұрын
Use the correct terminology! F1nn's definitely her GirlBoyfriend
@user-ds8cn1dk1y
@user-ds8cn1dk1y 6 ай бұрын
As someone who only 6 months ago finally accepted my trans-ness, I find your videos bith incredibly valuable and affirming. love it. Never stop. :)
@huwbarlow-kay1724
@huwbarlow-kay1724 7 ай бұрын
i know this was a more rambley vid, but i really get what you're saying and i really appreciated it :)
@cstrongman
@cstrongman 7 ай бұрын
Well done for being vulnerable and going out of your way to address these questions. They are _not_ easy to answer!
@mrglubogluberson1912
@mrglubogluberson1912 7 ай бұрын
I feel like me thinking in the present thinks it's just a fetish, and is scared it's a mistake. But then if I look back 1 year when I was at my lowest I saw it as more of a. I'm tired of fearing myself and other people. I used it as motivation to get where I am. Granted I'm still pre but I am on a wait-list now. But back to that motivation. I said to myself from this day forward if I don't die right now then from this day forward. I am gonna live freely being me. I'm not gonna let past hate make me hate wearing bright even pastel colors, I'm not gonna let someone else bring me down to this level ever again. I WILL BE TRUE TO MYSELF I WILL DRESS HOW I LIKE I WILL ACT HOW I FEEL COMFORTABLE I WILL BE WITH PEOPLE WHO I FEEL COMFORTABLE BEING AROUND, and who I can feel comfortable in my skin around. Now I will say I did break, I had a mental breakdown and I was so far gone that I started talking to female me. But I see her as the final goal. She is the version of me that has lived passed all of my hardships. Getting kicked out twice, living around some hateful people, living in a hateful state. I see her as my light at the end of the tunnel. She is how I know it's not a fetish or a phase, she is how I know that one day soon, I will be free of Florida, how I know one day I will have the means to make life for those around me just as bright as mine. Sorry I didn't want to go on such a big rant. But that day December 14th 2022 that day is just one of the many reasons, or is it moments or experiences that made me think. This could be real. I mean yeah when I was a kid picturing future me having relations saw me as a girl. But me as a kid also asked my best friend that if I was a girl would we still be friends. His answer shocked me. He said he'll yell id probably date you. Well he said I'd probably hit that. But adolescent idiocy aside that showed me I just gotta find the right people. Because it is real. I am real. And so is she. Um if you made it this far, damn I don't know how to explain things without saying my full thoughts, and I tend to do so in storyteller format. I commend you. Have a good day, a great night, and the most colorfully beautiful dreams. Bye. 😊
@TheCodyCZ
@TheCodyCZ 3 ай бұрын
That thing you said , about picturing myself in normal everyday situation as a different gender than AGAB, that literally helped me a lot, not like becouse you or anyone said it to me, it just came to my head one time, try to picture it in non se*ualized matter, and well, it definitely was the right thing, becouse that really opened my eyes :D and it settled the tought to transition, or at least for some time to just present femm and hopefully I will get HRT at the end of July :D Thanks Icky, you, with many other trans & ally content creators are big help for me right now
@fuckgoogle12
@fuckgoogle12 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for releasing these!
@lunartree9922
@lunartree9922 7 ай бұрын
I don't get all this trans stuff but even though I don't I still try to be supportive
@anonymous-bt6pv
@anonymous-bt6pv 7 ай бұрын
if everyone was like you, the world would be a lot better
@sweetlilweirdo
@sweetlilweirdo 4 ай бұрын
People like you are truly angels. We thank you so much for supporting us :3
@atarifanboy1977
@atarifanboy1977 3 ай бұрын
Great video. I'm still very new in my transition. (Around 3 weeks internally) I was very concerned it was a fetish. That's where I learned about this side. Once I wore woman's clothes and felt not just excited but happy for the first time in like 8 years. I knew I was onto something. Now, I'm identifying as a woman online, wearing girl clothes in private, looking into HRT and find myself smiling daily again. I still don't quite understand if I've got dysphoria but I'm finally wanting to live life again. It went from I hope I die soon/compilation of a certain action to actively wanting to take care of myself and live life. I still have bad days but these past 3 weeks have been some of the best days I've had since high school. What I'm trying to say is that if the idea of being a woman and doing gender affirmation brings you genuine happiness and hope it's not a fetish and you should continue to explore it.
@portvert2301
@portvert2301 2 ай бұрын
This cleared so much up for me Omg
@jenk9599
@jenk9599 7 ай бұрын
thought it was cool we both did basically the same thought experiment - i remember thinking of how it'd be to do random stuff at home, and how i want to see myself. or like if i was the only person in the world, would i still want to transition. obviously there'd be bigger problems in that case, and relating to other women and social perception is something i appreciate, but i felt like i needed to prove to myself that i was a woman intrinsically (in hindsight, gender doesn't exist in a vacuum, but whatever. also, can't prove a subjective experience). turns out yeah, it does feel better - even just sitting here staring at the wall or whatever. to anyone just starting or questioning - keep checking in with yourself, and try to do what feels authentic. easy to say, but it does get easier with practice.
@izmusugoma138
@izmusugoma138 7 ай бұрын
I had this exact internal issue thanks for addressing! really helped organize my thoughts and realize where it came from
@amelialikesfrogs5778
@amelialikesfrogs5778 7 ай бұрын
👏Eggs 👏 cracked 👏 from 👏 crossdressing 👏 as 👏 a 👏 kink 👏are 👏V A L I D !👏 It's more common than you realise, so be kind to yourself and don't let impostor syndrome get you down. xx
@franciszekdo
@franciszekdo 7 ай бұрын
IMO the trans community has been too harsh in separating cross-dressing and being trans. Like I understand wanting people to get that being trans isn't just a costume you take on and off.. but like there is a large overlap; gender expression and identity are interrelated. Back in the day most people that were transgender would call themselves transvestites because transsexual was kinda gate-kept as a term for people that had surgically and medically transitioned.
@amelialikesfrogs5778
@amelialikesfrogs5778 7 ай бұрын
@@franciszekdo yeah. Obviously not everyone who crossdresses will turn out to be trans (I think we know someone like that around here) but it makes sense that practically experimenting with gender for sex will crack alot of eggs. After that being trans itself is separate from the kink that started it for us, the only way it's connected is it was the egg cracking mechanism. Unfortunately it's not a very good look from the conservatives point of view, but they'd struggle to understand that it's separate. And you can't live your life constantly to try to change assholes
@iceprincess6840
@iceprincess6840 7 ай бұрын
I'm so glad to hear from someone else, that this happened to them too. I was so confused! But now it's fine :3 Also, I'm super into the warhammer 40k audiobooks right now, got any recommendations? Also, I kinda think it's funny, because that shit is the most testosterone filled masculine fantasy thing ever and I just love the gore :3
@JS-vf5gn
@JS-vf5gn 7 ай бұрын
Horus Heresy’s books are 🔥.
@inquisitor_snake
@inquisitor_snake 7 ай бұрын
The Eisenhorn trilogy, the Ravenor trilogy and the Bequin books are awesome. Would recommend those. Also they're a lot lighter than the other 40k books. The Horus heresy books are kind of a daunting task if you're new to 40k books. Start with the first Eisenhorn book. That's where I started
@MWoyde
@MWoyde 6 ай бұрын
Thank you, Ashley! This made me more comfortable in my eggness :3
@ff-qf1th
@ff-qf1th 7 ай бұрын
No, you always do be making sense!! thank you for your videos! :D
@HeroBrine0821
@HeroBrine0821 Ай бұрын
Thats how i was my whole life, trying on girls clothes in private and thinking really nothing of it, telling myself "idk why i do this but its fun" until recently when looking back at how often i did it and i almost forgot i tried changing pronouns on facebook but got scared and changed it back. and i did that twice.. I even changed my profile background to not the trans flag but the same exact colors. and this past week finally said im trans, and came out, to a friend who called it in her head, then my mom, and aunt. Slowly telling people helps.. and i have my first doctors appointment in a couple weeks to discuss starting hrt. It feels like a dream kinda. Oh yea and i even told someone in high school, after my mom switched me to online, that i was transgender, then switched it to never mind im just a femboy 👀 Like i denied it, nah i couldn't.. maybe for like one day. Then this year i noticed myself getting more and more depressed and i didn't know why, started therapy and now im here.
@Engitainment
@Engitainment 7 ай бұрын
This video made a lot of sense to me, especially because had younger me seen it I might have felt more comfortable understanding myself rather than locking it behind a "it's just for funtimes" block. It's interesting to hear from women who've gone through this too, since my experience with estrogen has been different (i'm genderqueer) but how it's similar in unexpected ways. Anyway, thank you for the content, and I hope your new year treats you amazingly in your new house!
@waverlygarner6189
@waverlygarner6189 7 ай бұрын
My favorite moments are when cleaning the house or feeding the dogs or shopping at the local store and I’m humming or something and stop and just feel so alive and right in my own skin. You are so right - I am happy even when I am not happy.
@darktrexcz
@darktrexcz 7 ай бұрын
What you said at 6:12 hits hard... i told myself it was just a fetish and i can live my life normally for so long. Even tho I can recall as far back as like 9, wishing I was a girl. I used to wear my girlfriends bras when she left them at my house in high school. now im 34 and really regretting not transitioning earlier. I am working on getting myself ready to transition now, but its... its not easy. My friend coming out as trans really should have been a wake up call a decade ago, i even admitted to them that i had these feelings. I'm a little too good at ignoring my problems I guess. Hopefully I have the strength to go through with this, or I'll be unhappy for the rest of my life.
@TaraBaileyTgirl
@TaraBaileyTgirl 7 ай бұрын
makes sense to me. pre transition i just convinced myself i was bisexual because i like being the bottom sometimes... turns out just a lesbian life is so much better now lol
@iamerica7887
@iamerica7887 7 ай бұрын
I too had "sexual excitement" in the first few weeks after coming out and beginning my MTF transition in my mid-forties, but after a month those feelings had faded. I think it was fueled by the added excitement of being freed from my mental prison after 4 decades of living with gender dysphoria in secret and trying hard to live up to society's expectations. But after many years of deep soul-searching followed by a "dark night of the soul", I came to the conclusion that: "Being born with a 🍆 should NOT be a prison sentence!" Give me liberty or give me death! Live free or die! For I would rather die than go back to what I was before, and I would rather be seen as a ugly middle-aged woman and never be seen as a man again. Best decision I ever made! 😁 Happy new year to you and F1NN!!! 🥳🎉
@KrypticDonut
@KrypticDonut 7 ай бұрын
Idk sometimes I look in a mirror and see myself as a girl. Thinking about it makes me feel comfortable. It makes me feel light it (if that makes sense). It makes me feel happy. I hate questions like the one about the button or the one in this video. The button one requires you to not be confused. The one in the video needs you to have a good imagination. But ig I can answer the one in the video by seeing how comfortable I am now. Which I mean I have my hood up everywhere. I'm not comfortable like this. But sometimes I think there's something telling me no you can't be. There's something inside me that doesn't want to be because of how trans people are treated. Ig the only way I can think about this is if I were to be a girl would I feel more confident. I mean it's not like I can be any less confident than I am rn. So I'd so it would probably improve my confidence.
@elliesteele2027
@elliesteele2027 7 ай бұрын
If the idea of being a girl makes you genuinely happy, go for it. When it comes to your life and your identity, don't settle for something that doesn't make you happy.
@KrypticDonut
@KrypticDonut 7 ай бұрын
@@elliesteele2027 yeah that makes sense.
@KnicKnac
@KnicKnac 7 ай бұрын
Been enjoying your insights on transitioning. Especially since I've been curious where I fall in my gender identity. Thank you for these videos you fabulous human.
@catjuzu
@catjuzu 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for talking about the topic. It's something I'm struggeling with for quite some time now and it's always been hard for me to find someone, who talks about it. I think the video made perfect sense and it was really helpful.
@CHXFIT95
@CHXFIT95 2 ай бұрын
Super great informative video, everyone in and on the fence of T in the community should watch this video.
@noeldoesthings
@noeldoesthings 7 ай бұрын
My ADD is very happy that you turned the "Secret Lab" pillow thing right side up again n.n
@DespairingDeidre
@DespairingDeidre 7 ай бұрын
Okay. This video healed the part of me that fears hugs. I am not sure how I feel about that.
@a_random_jonny6424
@a_random_jonny6424 7 ай бұрын
This definetly helped me with my bad impostor syndrome. I'm always worried that I'm just trans as an excuse to stop balding but I also experience all the things you've said in this video (I'm pre-everything).
@ice8348
@ice8348 7 ай бұрын
HELLO YES THIS MAY BE THE VIDEO THAT PUSHES ME OVER THE EDGE IN MY JOURNEY
@willowgillingham666
@willowgillingham666 7 ай бұрын
I experienced a little bit of this after having donated all of my guy clothes. I like to view that excitement as being allowed to finally present as female and wearing female clothes that are more sexy was an even larger validation -- and THAT'S exciting.
@australopithecus_lucis
@australopithecus_lucis 7 ай бұрын
You put out this video at a perfect time, because this is something I've been struggling with. And since your videos have really helped me with figuring out my gender, I was happy to see you covered an issue that has been on my mind right now
@cartboardstump2527
@cartboardstump2527 5 ай бұрын
Not even a minute into the video and already getting called out😅😆
@thatgothgirl517
@thatgothgirl517 7 ай бұрын
Honestly in my case (M2F) I fetishise female attire, not femininity in of its self. I just started growing out my hair, playing with my voice, and with how I posture myself. It's honestly quite scarry, but it's necessary. I was not, and still am mostly not a happy person however since integrating these changes I am far more calm, and can more easily put at bay my incessant need to get wasted on drugs and alcohol. I am more at ease with what I am, however distressing it is. See I come from a very repressed background; my father is a military man and my mother is eastern European, and an added bonus is that I lived in Africa and Ukraine for the better part of my childhood. As you can imagine, I hold very few fond memories of that time. I knew I was different since early adolescence yet I never admitted it to myself, and that's the key thing I believe. Years and years of repression in a hostile environment almost made me forget my urges and my desire to be of the opposite sex. I then move back to Canada where the rainbow flags are pushed down our throats, it made me cynical. I want to be integrated into society, not apart from. To much pride, not enough humility I believe. I want to be normal but alas. As for BDSM and kinks, I find it relaxing, kind of in the same way I enjoy heavy metal. The boundaries between pain and pleasure have always been blurred in my life, I can relate to the brutal simplicity of these forms of expression. Does that make any sense?
@sacrificiallamb4568
@sacrificiallamb4568 7 ай бұрын
Like "horror" movies, I think they're beautiful, other people use them as excuses to moralise about how sick and disgusting a character, action or objectified body is.
@aimymozart9270
@aimymozart9270 7 ай бұрын
You make so much sense! thank Icky
@Bkoded
@Bkoded 7 ай бұрын
the post office analogy is actually so clever, thats kind cleared up some doubts for me
@RheaSeiros
@RheaSeiros 7 ай бұрын
Love your content its a big big morale boost thank you for making these videos
@multi.instrumentalist
@multi.instrumentalist 5 ай бұрын
OH MY GOD I EXPERIENCED THIS Thanks so much for clearing up my concern over this, I thought it might have just been me! I think what helped me get through this question was recognising when I felt dysphoric, which helped me confirm that it was genuinely my identity at stake and not just a weird sex thing.
@christine_penn
@christine_penn 7 ай бұрын
Great job! Love what you covered and laughed a couple of times. Only thing I would add would be the medical classification, analyzing whether your feelings are consistent, insistent, and persistent.
@KennaRosens
@KennaRosens 7 ай бұрын
Icky, you are officially my trans fairy godmother. Congrats.
@lazylexy2123
@lazylexy2123 5 ай бұрын
I'm not interested, or have ever been interested in sex. So every time I've imagined myself as an actual woman, it's never been in a sexual situation. I can't even imagine myself having physical contact with anyone. But seeing couples be happy together (Like you and F1nn) makes me wish I could have a relationship with someone. I am attracted to women, and every time I've had an attraction to a woman, my thoughts have never really gone beyond "she's cute" or "I like her". But I think I can dismiss most of those feelings as being envious of their looks. But that doesn't change the fact that I still both do and don't want a relationship. Its just about the only part of myself that I am yet to figure out.
@chloe-sunshine7
@chloe-sunshine7 5 ай бұрын
I'm sure when you're ready, you'll feel it.
@anonymoussaid9970
@anonymoussaid9970 7 ай бұрын
This advice was so fucking helpful I’m almost mad i hadn’t heard it years ago
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